Doug Loves Movies - Lisa Corrao, Matt Fernandez and Ernest Vilcsek guest

Episode Date: March 4, 2020

Live from The Improv in Orlando, Doug welcomes Lisa Corrao, Matt Fernandez and Ernest Vilcsek to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth there's still not one that he won't see cause Doug loves movies hey hey hey i'm sad to say that the tampa curse has spread to Orlando and the first 10-15 minutes of the show we recorded there

we didn't record. So I'm going to try to get you up to speed on what happens before the part where the recording will actually kick in i came out to massive applause wonderful crowd i said my name is doug and i love movies and then they responded this is Doug Loves Movies in perfect unison

no nonsense and I went on to say coming to you once again from the Improv in Orlando, Florida it's Sunday, March 1st, 2020 and I am confident that there will be lots of great name tags and of course

I was right we went through and discussed uh lots of them and then i did doug plugs i'm doing stand-up this saturday march 7th at dna's comedy lab in santa cruz california at 4 20 bring your name tags though because we'll get some people up on stage to play last woman stanton doug loves movies returns to new york city on saturday april 4th at 10 30 p.m at the ucb theater hell's kitchen location first time there i'm excited tickets on sale soon and doug loves movies is back at the improv in tempe arizona on saturday april 11th at 4 20 For all my dates and deets, go to Douglovesmovies.com.

That's Douglovesmovies.com. Caw, caw. Yeah, I've already fucked it up. And then I did a dugout to my boy, Sean Jordan, who had hoped to come out to Florida to see that big skating event, that skateboard event in Tampa. Skate Tampa? Is that what it's called?

And he was going to be a guest on the show, but he couldn't make it out. But his face did end up on some name tags. Then I went through a bunch of crap that I put in the prize bag, including a Doug Benson pin from rockandpins.com. And I thought all of that part was a lot of fun. That's what I remember about it. And I've got a good relationship with the audience in Orlando.

Then I said, please give it up for Ernest Vilcek, Lisa Correo, and Matt Fernandez. Let's meet them individually, starting with first-time guest, the Kyle Slayer. It's Ernest Vilcek, winner of Last Woman Stanton in Tampa. Congratulations and hello. on the show and then she proceeded to reminisce about how terrible she was at the games the first time she was on the show and matt fernandez everybody's favorite floridian uh joined us once again in orlando and of course now uh with the two tampa shows it didn't turn out. And now this one, uh, maybe it's the Matt Fernandez curse. Nah, I don't think so. It's a Florida thing.

So next time I roll through Florida, I'll do Douglas movies in Tampa. And, uh, it's a standup show in Orlando. And, uh, it's great to see you guys there.

And of course I love Disney world. And so we joined the show now in Orlando. And it's great to see you guys there. And of course, I love Disney World. And so we join the show now in progress where I believe we're talking about Disney World. What we're saying about it, I do not remember. But I always have lots to say

immediately after being at a theme park, especially one of the Disney parks. Here we go. Into the show. Thank you for sitting between us, Lisa. I know it's probably like swampy, but thank you. Florida's so humid.

Except for like late. I mean, I just really caught your yearly three-day cold spell. Yeah, and so I'm happy it's going to be a lot warmer tomorrow. I went to Magic Kingdom today, or Animal Kingdom, I should say. So confusing, all those names. But I got to finally, after how long has the Avatar ride been there now? Like three, four years? Three years, finally got to do it.

And who here has not done it yet? Applaud if you haven't been on the... You raised your hands. Those people that applauded, just go ahead and keep living your lives and don't worry about it give it another three or four years and then you know walk right on it and then ride it and go oh this is amazing but for for right now i guess you could look at your phone i guess you could watch the movie Avatar twice while you're waiting four hours to get on that fucking thing.

But the whole time I was on it, the whole four and a half minutes, I was like, oh, I waited so long. But it is amazing. It's a really cool ride. If you could just get right on it, then it'd be the best. Instead, it's like,

I'd put it like round number 250 of things that i've experienced have you done it man no i haven't even been to animal kingdom i guess when you live in florida you just kind of like put it off right forever and then you never go and one day you die and that's it it's true i have a lot of friends in New York that have totally forgotten to get arrested. That hurts, Doug.

Alright, let's talk about prize bag items. We'll start with you, Ernest. Alright, so I got a triple feature of Ernest Goes to Camp, Scared Stupid, and Goes to Jail. You know, I'm no Ernest expert, but I'm pretty sure these are the three best Ernest movies. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Those are all solid. Ernest Scared Stupid is clearly where it's at. Yeah. How stupid does he get scared though like is he like in an irreversible coma by the end it's actually pretty you know normal standards for Ernest stupid yeah I love the

last line of the description will Ernest oh this is Ernest goes to jail will Ernest be able to break out of prison in time to stop the robbery that seems like a weird of prison in time to stop the robbery. That seems like a weird... Oh, there was a mix-up. He has to expose the mix-up.

I haven't seen it in a while. What else do you have, Ernest? I got one of my wife's paintings. My wife's paintings. And it's beautiful. It's very nice. I love these kind of things where you put a nail

on the wall, you just put it up there and it's awesome. Mix volume one, a painting of the cassette tape in the first Guardians movie. Nicely done. What's her name? Tiffany Vilsack.

Tiffany Vilsack. Tiffany Vilsack. Yeah. Thank you so much, Tiffany. What do you got, Lisa? Well, I have a little pouch of three items. Wow. Oh, boy. First, some nice sunglasses.

Okay, but they're also readers. What? So they will hurt your eyes. Don't, don't, don't look directly at the sun with these because, you know, magnifying glasses and the sun don't go well together. So don't

be fooled that just because they're sunglasses that you're safe. So, little warning with that. But since you can see small items with that, I also got this thing that I found on the beach. I think it's a sea bean, but it looks like a small hamburger. Right? It looks like a little hamburger.

Okay. Okay. And then the third item. Okay, now I've never said this publicly, but I keep things in my purse for children when they're sad. If I said that, it would be creepy. But sure, you can get away with it. And it's totally fine.

I hate to see sad children, so I'll keep little things. So this was from Matt, and it's a small hand. It can hold the small hamburger, and then it looks bigger when you put the sunglasses on. There you go. I like that you described that tiny little bag as your purse. No, that's not my purse. That was great.

Matt, what do you have? I brought a copy of Jen Kirkman's book, I Can Barely Take Care of Myself Why do you have a copy of that? What? Because I hate kids too They're the worst A couple of slap koozies with one of my tweets on them And this This is special, Twitter actually contacted me Directly to ask me if they could with one of my tweets on them. And this is special. Twitter actually contacted me directly

to ask me if they could use one of my tweets to promote the website. And I said yes. And they put it up all over New York subways. And I was like, oh, cool. Yeah, and then they hit me up a couple weeks ago. And they were like, we appreciate you letting us use your tweet. We want to send you something.

What's your address? And I was like, cha-ching. It's time to get that paper. And then they just sent me a framed copy of my own tweet I could have made this shit myself it's not even one of my better tweets it's very mediocre oh my god Ernest can make

copies of that for everybody you don't oh that's like getting retweeted. Oh, God. I expect to see that in the garbage can later tonight. And then you also brought some slappy thingies. Oh, yeah, slap koozies.

Yeah, slap koozies. Yeah, give that one to Kyle. Or did you already win one at some point? I'm pretty sure he has like 50. He has three of them already. Give that back, you son of a bitch. I want to see this tweet now, though. I bought edible underwear for Valentine's Day.

They're made of ham, though. I bought a underwear for Valentine's Day They're made of ham though I bought a pack of ham That's a pretty good tweet Thanks man Alright all of that stuff I still want to know why you just have a random copy of jen kirkman's book she gave it to you no you bought it no something in between those someone gave it to me why'd they give it to you like is it a relative. Like, is it a relative? It's like, you're a comedian.

Here's a book written by a comedian. I think, yeah, I think it was my aunt. I think she bought it and she was like, you're a comedian. Yeah. Here, she's the comedian. Yeah, I love that. And I was like, yeah,

we're definitely the same type of comedian. Oh, yeah, you both talk about your happy life without kids. It's true. Yeah. Does your girlfriend know about that yet? No. All right, cool.

All right, all of that stuff is going to be won by somebody today. But before we get to that, I got a couple more questions for you guys. This is going to get intense, Ernest. Okay. For the first one, what was the last movie you saw? I saw the last 20 minutes of that Horse Girl movie. Okay, so it's on Netflix. Yeah.

And somehow you started when there was only 20 minutes left. When you determine when to start the movie. Or your wife was watching it and you joined in. Right. With 20 minutes to go. Yes. So based on, I like this.

I wish more reviews were just what people thought of the last 20 minutes. Did it end strong enough for you to recommend it? No. Did it make sense to you coming in that late? No. Okay. Well, thank you for being here.

Yep. The next two questions are harder. Lisa. Yes. Last movie you saw. Um. Well, thank you for being here. Yep. The next two questions are harder. Lisa? Yes. Last movie you saw? I watched the original Herbie movie on Disney+. The Love Bug? The Love Bug.

Yes. See, I'm already not good at the game. With names of things. Let's deduct a point for not getting the title of the love bug correctly. Yeah, you know, I really love Herbie. I feel like it, the car holds up for sure.

But, you know, it's really amazing like how good of a character the car is. Like he's a better actor than the actors, like the human actors in the movie.

He's so good. I love Herbie. This is so cute, I'm gonna throw up. It's so cute. Well, you know, the is, human actors can't honk when they are upset. They don't have that go-to

that Herbie has. Herbie could just be like, eh, eh, and everybody's like, okay, Herbie's upset. Robert De Niro, you don't know if he's upset or not. I wonder if there's a parody out there called Herbiepes the Love Bug. You know there is.

There's gotta be, right? There has to be. Like, that's just too perfect. Right? Matt, please say you saw something in its entirety that was made in the last decade. I can help you on the last decade. I can

help you on the first part. I watched the original Candyman. Close enough. Because that trailer came out. It's on Netflix. So you saw the trailer for the new Candyman and when I got it, I go back. I can already tell you that Jordan Peele's is better. The original's not very good.

Although, they do not CGI the bees. There's just bees crawling all over people. They just were like, all right, take your positions. We're going to dump some bees on you. Don't be alarmed. Act. Matt, have you ever been at Animal Kingdom?

We had this discussion. During whatever season the bees show up. Animal Kingdom we had this discussion during during whatever season the bees show up there's a bar in Animal Kingdom that the bartenders just have to like

serve drinks and just bees are hovering around their hands the entire time and I was just like this is the wildest this is the wildest

part of Animal Kingdom right here that these people just have to deal with bees all day long. And they can't be mean to the bees or swat the bees because it's animal kingdom. They can't murder people with a hook.

There's a fucking ride called It's a Bug's Life where they go, hey, we're 80% of the world's creatures. Fucking get over it and live with us. That's the whole point of that ride. That and at the end, they make it feel like one crawls up your butt. It's pretty disturbing. Next question.

Ernest, do you do any impressions? Yes. Oh, shit. Shit. All right, what do you got? Okay. So my impression is of you. Oh shit.

I don't like this anymore. Doing impressions. Impression of me doing an impression, okay. Okay. So my wife, Tony Truth. That's it. Those are two of the many impressions that I've done.

Back to back. Thank you. You're welcome. Lisa. Who? Why is there somebody in the audience shining a light at us? you're welcome Lisa who why is there somebody in the audience shining a light at us oh Lisa

okay what what did you say it's British people like that's your excuse for just turning a light and shining it in our direction sorry we're British people? Like, that's your excuse for just turning a light and shining it in our direction? What? Sorry,

we're British. We don't understand light sensitivity. British people are usually the last people shining lights on people. I mean, you guys know what it's like to be vampires. Oh. Also, how can we tell you're British? You have nice teeth.

Oh, yeah! Yeah, he has nice teeth that he can pull out and show everybody. Oh. Oh, God. Oh, God. That made my drink taste different. Oh.

Oh, shit. I was like, what's he holding up? His mouth. Do you have silly string over there? He opens his mouth for it. You guys belong in Florida. You came to the right place. Who, where are we at?

Did you do an impression yet, Lisa? Sure, I'll do an impression of the last comedian I spoke to on the phone. Earlier today, you guys, Yakov Smirnoff called me. What? Yeah, yeah. No, we're friends. He's a sweet guy, but he's trying to get good on social media, so he's like

asking for some tips. So he's like, Lisa, will you please tell me how to use MySpace? Like, it's like that. What's a country? Like, that's my best impression, but he probably doesn't really sound like that, but to me, that's what he sounds like. It sounds like Yakov,

if he were a lady who is born and raised in the United States, quoting Yakov Smirnoff. But that was good. It wasn't an impression of me so I love it wait wait can I do another one if it's as good

or better this one just popped into my head since I'm sitting next to Ernest okay Ernest Borgnine what in the Poseidon Adventure I had since I'm sitting next to Ernest. Okay, Ernest Borgnine. What? In the Poseidon Adventure. Oh, I like this. Linda, my Linda.

Thanks, guys. I think that was spot on. You should set that up more like, I'm going to say something that Ernest Borgnine said in the Poseidon Adventure. That heated me up. Like, I feel hot now. Took a lot to do.

All right, Matt. We really need someone to save this segment so we don't have to cut it. No pressure. How about I do an impression of Ernest? Just this fucking copier. I'll show them all. The color doesn't work, Ernest. How crazy would it be if Kyle...

And scene. Yeah. How wild would it be if Kyle went in to make a copy of his Kyle M for Murder sign at where Ernest works, and that gave Ernest the idea to go down to the Tampa Improv to try to win to be on tonight. But, I mean, I don't know if you guys heard about this or not, but Kyle is a phenomenal game player on the show in Tampa.

And he's, I'm going to do the show in Tampa sometime in the next seven to eight years. And Kyle is going to be a guest on the show there. So don't feel bad for him. I've been, you know,

making a lot of Kyle jokes, but it's not like he's never going to be on the show the show there. So don't feel bad for him. I've been making a lot of Kyle jokes, but it's not like he's never going to be on the show, unless of course the show ends in the next week or two. He's going to win that episode. I think he might. I'm really curious to see how Ernest does tonight. But I still

have one more thing that was audience requested. People want a round of Doug Loves Muppets. Party on! Ernest, what do you think? Can you recast a film with Muppets? Bram Stoker's

Dracula. I like it. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Who's in it? Which Muppets? Dr. Teeth must be the vampire hunter because he's got the same hat. He's got like a top hat. And Animal could be Dracula. Animal is Dracula.

I like that. I'm thirsty. I'm thirsty. I hate wine. And the rest would be pretty obvious. Okay, let's move on. Lisa, if you could recast any movie, do a remake of any film,

and then put Muppets in it, which one would you do and where would you put the Muppets? Which Muppets would you use? The Joker with Fozzie Bear. Is everything you do adorable?

Oh shit Matt's falling in love. So first of all Lisa I hate to bring you down because you're probably flying high from the great reaction

that got. The movie's called Joker, not The Joker. Of course. And, but I do love, I do love, I wish somebody out there

would make a meme of Fozzie Bear dancing down those, dancing down those steps. What is, Joaquin Phoenix? Does he have a catchphrase in that movie? Does he say anything frequently?

Or does he just sort of... Get her done. Just sort of... He does not say get her done. I'm pretty sure he does. I love that. Fozzie Bear as Joker and his catchphrase is get her done.

Get her done! No, I can't even. Fozzie's a hard one. Waka waka. Waka waka. Get her done. Get it done. That's it.

Get her done. Nailed it. I don't know why. Matt, what do you think? I'll do Spinal Tap, but with Dr. Teeth and the electric mayhem. Yeah, that's nice and fast. Yeah, that's right.

I like how quickly that ended. Got right to the point. I appreciate it because it is definitely the time where I have to say, let the games begin! Let the games begin! the time where I have to say let the games begin! Lady and gentlemen, pick your name tags.

We've got lots of great ones to choose from. Go physically grab the one you like the best and bring it back to your saint. While you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, especially Chicagagoland i'm doing it again my annual may the fourth be with you and cinco de mayo shows in the chicago area on may the, I'm doing stand-up at Zany's downtown. And then on May the 5th, Cinco de Mayo, Ohio.

I'm doing Doug Lowe's movies at the O'Hare adjacent Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois. Hope to see you there. You know where to go for more info. Back to the show. We're back. We did it. Nobody died. A lot of injuries, though.

Holy shit. Look at this thing that Ernest got. Please describe, Ernest. I'll hold it for you. Alright, so it's Andy Conda? Yeah, Andy Conda 3. He's got my face, Matt Fernandez,

Lisa. Lisa. Real nice, Ernest. Yakov Smirnoff would also be accepted as an answer. And somebody over here pointed out it's got a glory hole on it. Yes, it does. So that's always nice. Did you take the snake puppet?

Yes. It's got a handle in the back. It says to say wallet on the back. Well, good job, Andy. Andy? Andy. All right. Oh, that's supposed to go through the hole.

Okay. There's a dinosaur or snake puppet. That's an anaconda? Okay. It's a really friendly looking anaconda. That's perfect. Lisa, who are you playing on behalf of? I got scared

and I picked the closest one to me. But it's great. It's the closest one to me. But it's great. It's the silence of the Sams. Yeah. Good job, Sam. Yeah.

And these are your eyes. We can fix that. It's good. Okay, what about you, Matt? This shit has lights on it National Lampoon's Chris Miss Vacation Oh yeah

We saw him in Tampa Yeah The trick is to make Your sign big enough To where I don't actually Have to hold it And I can just put it

Right down here That's how I'll probably Pick it Yeah Also weed my man There was weed on there There's a nice pre-roll on there? Yep.

Nice. Good job. Thank you, Chris. I'm going to bring this home for you. I mean, if I had to pick a winner at this point, I'd go with Matt. Thanks, Doug. But you never know. I'd go with Matt too.

We're going to start with a game called How Long Is It? I'll name a thing. You guys tell me how long it is. Ernest gets to go first because it's his first time. Lisa gets to go second because it's his first time. Lisa gets to go second because it's her second time. And Matt gets to go third because he's been on 300 times. Give or take.

You're welcome. Ernest, how long without going over? Bless you. Bless you. There was somebody in the audience for the listeners probably didn't pick that up. There was somebody in the audience, for the listeners, probably didn't pick that up. There was somebody in the audience who said, achoo.

Don't know if they actually sneezed, but I responded accordingly. Haven't heard one of those in a while. Achoo! And please have her escorted out because she's got the virus.

How long... How long is the combined run time of the films where Tom Hanks is wearing one red shoe or is the conductor... And, I should say, is the conductor of a train going to the North Pole? Without going over, closest wins.

What do you think, Ernest? No help from the audience. This isn't Price is Right. Three and a half hours. Three and a half hours three and a half hours so we're talking 200 and

800 how much again? 210 oh you've been on the avatar ride yeah we went on it First thing this morning And then walked by later

And went 2.10 Fuck that God damn Alright Lisa what do you think? I'm gonna say Three hours Okay so that's

180 180 minutes Matt So Movies where he's a train conductor and where he's wearing one red shoe? Yeah. It's basically The Man with One Red Shoe and The Polar Express. I got you.

Yeah. If you take those two movies and add up their run time. I'll say 315. 315. Okay. I'm not even going to bother to write that down. The correct answer is 192 minutes Lisa wins that one

All that means Lisa is you get to go first in the next game Oh is that good? That sounds bad It's probably not good. Oh. For like a split second, this was the greatest night of my life,

and then boom. Yeah, but you never know. Don't you have a child? I do. I sure do, Matt. That child is the greatest gift of her life. Having it was not a great night. Yeah, it wasn't good.

It was terrible. Yeah. Okay, so you get to go first, Lisa, in a game called ABCD's Nuts. All right, here's how this works. It's a spelling game. I'm going to give you a letter, and then you have to tell me the name of any movie ever made

that begins with that letter. It sounds so easy. It does, but it'll still freak you out. I know. How hard it can be. Because also a theme will emerge, and if you match the movie that I wrote down in advance then you automatically win this game.

But if you say any other movie that begins with a letter you're safe and you get to stay in. And then from you we'll go to Ernest and then to Matt and we're going to spell because I was there today

we'll probably be there tomorrow if I survive the night, Disney World. So the first letter there is D, Lisa. Name any movie that begins with D, and you're still in the game. Dunstan Checks In. That is a classic D movie. I just call it D Checks In. That is a classic D movie. I just call it D Checks In.

People assume I'm talking about a movie where a penis checks in to a hotel. I went with Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier. Classic. Next letter in Disney World is I. Ernest, what do you think? What movie begins with I that might meet this particular theme?

Inception. Perfectly good answer. First two letters are the same as my choice. Mine was In Search of the Castaways. Ooh. Ooh. S, Matt. Mine was In Search of the Castaways. S, Matt. You could take it down right here. I'll just say Serendipity.

People are so mad at you. What is it? Ever hear of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Lisa? Yes. Anne? Night of the Living Dead. I like that. No.

I mean, that's not what I wrote. I wrote down Nicky, wild dog of the north. These next few are going to be rough. E! E for earnest. Ever after?

Oh, that's nice. Not a Disney movie, but still. Close enough. Close enough indeed. I went with E-Mill and the detectives. Classic indeed. Y is the next letter, Matt? You, me, and Dupree.

Wow. I need you to answer the question, not make a... I went with this one as fucking what the fuck. I knew I wouldn't get it. Yeah. Yellowstone Cubs.

That sounds like a documentary, Doug. Well, those are movies, Matt. You right. You right. W. Oh, is that me? Mm-hmm WALL-E

Oh That's exactly what I should have picked Oh I went with Westward Ho The Wagons Oh

I love that movie There is nothing worse than an eastward ho oh Oliver or there's that Disney cartoon called Oliver and Company you want to switch to that?

Yes. That's not what I wrote. I wrote Old Yeller! What do you avoid movies where the dog dies at the end? Spoilers. I don't really care much for dogs. I did not expect you to go that way with it. You could have just said, yes, I don't like those movies.

Not, I don't like dogs. Kyle knows to be on this show, you must love dogs. R is the next letter, Matt. Ratatouille. Oh, shit. That's another one I should have wrote down. I'm missing all the obvious ones. I went with Rob Roy, the Highland Rogue.

Sure. It just sounds like you're saying things. Are these real movie titles? I swear they're all Disney movies. All right. Next is L. L. Lady and the Tramp.

That is correct. Oh, my God. Oh, man. And they both die at the end. From spaghetti poisoning. It's terrible when they have to be shot at the end, right? It's the worst. Wait, what?

Ernest loved it. What do you guys think the D one was? Not Dumbo. That would have been good. What the fuck, Doug? Dr. Dolittle wasn't Disney. D2, The Mighty Ducks would have been a good one. Fucking Kyle. Fucking Kyle.

Fucking Kyle. DuckTales. Yeah. There's that motherfucker. Did he really get it? Full title. Darby O'G. And the little people. Yeah.

Holy shit. Darby O'Gill and the little people. Good job, man. Congratulations on being old. Oh, Sean Connery was so sexy in that. Yeah, he was like, Darby O'Gill and the little people. The little people use a knife, you use a gun.

All right. In my country, in my country, banshees scream at you. Money's on the loose. What, Lisa? Nothing. Nothing.

I liked it. Whatever it was. I'm so warm. She's still doing Yakko's mirror impressions. Every time I do an impression, I get really hot. I get really warm temperature-wise. Yeah, it makes you have like a hot flash. Hot flash from the feeling of the job well done

when you do an excellent impression? Do you want to do another one? Sure, I'll take a request. What? If an audience member requests an impression, you'll just do it right now? I'll just straight up do it. Holy shit.

Let's see a hand if you have one. No yelling out. This gentleman right here, Dolphin Tail 2. That's what I like to call him. He raised his hand and then he didn't have one. Ready to go. Okay, Morgan Freeman. I am Morgan Freeman.

Is there any impression you can't do? That was... Not one. Woo! Hot. I'm overheating. Countless lines and countless movies, but you were just,

I am in Morgan Freeman. That is his catchphrase. Yeah. I don't think I've... Someone I know sort of taught me to do a Morgan Freeman impression because if you say a line from Shawshank, or actually a name from Shawshank,

you could say it and sound like Morgan Freeman for a second. Andy Dufresne. Oh, here's another word that sounds like Morgan Freeman. Penguin. Bucket list. The letter E. That's some really old people there.

He was on that show, The Electric Company, yeah. All right, side for last woman, Stanton! We're not going to mess around today. Lots of people from the audience reached out to me. I assume they're in the audience. That'd be weird, but I guess somebody could just write to me and say they've got a suggestion and then keep it to themselves

and not come to the show. But we got some people here that I wrote down. Where's Mark underscore... I think it's funny that he doesn't know it's him yet. You should already know, yeah. Might be some other Mark underscore party. Right here.

There he is. God, you're not Mark without the party. That's what you're all about. Why did you choose that? Is that your actual last name? No, it was one of those... More words. Nickname from college, Ernest.

Did you have a nickname in college? Dog stomper. I'll take the first answer. He said no. What do you do for a living, Mark Party? You work in radio. Okay. At the shack? And what's your suggestion

for a name a name of an actress for us to bandy about in a round of Last Woman Stanton Liv Tyler holy shit no one on stage

is comfortable with that that's a good one that is a rough one I mean she's been in a lot of movies but I mostly know her That's a good one. That is a rough one. I mean, she's been in a lot of movies, but I mostly know her from music video. One specific music video that came out at the right time for me. And where is

where is Luna Serenade hey Luna how you doing is that your name no Tia oh that's right it does say Tia next to Luna okay and Tia what do you do she works at a dispensary

you guys. Thank you for coming out. That's our show. Just talk to Tia. What's that bag? Your boss brought me some stuff? Oh good lord.

I'm so happy. Oh t-shirts? Are they smokable? Oh, man, a shirt made out of joint paper? That'd be the shit. And Tia, what's your suggestion today? Maggie Smith. Maggie Smith, the great Maggie Smith.

Very good, very good. Sir Maggie Smith. Very good. Very good. Sir Maggie Smith, I think. She's a dame. Dame. Dame Maggie Smith. You know who that is, Ernest, right? She just said Harry Potter.

Shh. I didn't mean for you to really say specifically films that she was in. I just wanted you to say, yeah, I know who that, I know that broad. I know that broad.

I'm familiar with her. I didn't mean to make you use a sexist language like that. All right. So it feels like from the panel's overall reaction here that we might need a third name just to make this interesting and competitive. I do a good impression of Maggie Smith, by the way. The audience was audibly bummed out.

Oh, fuck. Some were excited, Matt. There was a mixed reaction. bummed out. Fuck. Some were excited, Matt. There was a mixed reaction. Let's be honest. Okay, so here we go. This is Lisa. Do you need any setup for this? Yeah, if you could introduce it, that would be good. It's not from any one of her particular films or anything or

no this is like her as a person not a character okay so this is maggie smith as she really is in real life i wish the listeners could see it was the it was this that really sold it. The grand arm gesture that she would of course do while telling people who she is. I'm Maggie Smith. She would definitely do that.

That really sold it. She's pulling back the curtain on herself. It's me. It's me! Maggie Smith! Alright, we need another name. So, okay, right here in the front row, this lady's got her hand up. Name any actress.

Sigourney Weaver. Now we're talking. Alright, so today we're going to play, we're going to do a three-banger. That's not a good way to describe it. Describe it. Sigourney Weaver, Liv Tyler, or Maggie

Smith. When it's your turn, name a movie featuring any of them, and you remain in the game. But if you can't think of one and need help, you got one lifeline. You can go to the person whose name tag you chose once. So Matt, you can go to Chris, and Lisa, you can go to the person whose name tag you chose once. So Matt, you can go to Chris.

And Lisa, you can go to Silence of the... Sam. Sam. And Andy Conda is who Ernest can talk to if he's feeling lonely. And... talk to if he's feeling lonely. And we're going to start with who won that last game? Lisa? Yeah.

She's fucking killing it. She really is. It's about time for her to lose. Lisa will go first, then we'll switch the order. So we'll go to Matt, then me, because I like to play along, and then Ernest, and good luck to everybody. There's a gentleman coughing over there. Why didn't you wear your surgical mask?

Everyone's so close together. It's weird when you cough in public now because everyone looks at you like, don't kill me. When do you go back to England? Yeah. You live here? Oh, okay. Cool. Nice.

Welcome. Welcome to this place where I don't live I'm the official ambassador Hey when do you leave? Oh welcome cool yeah it's great to have you here Yeah you've already said you're welcome Keep it up You're welcome. Keep it up. You're welcome.

Okay, so wait. Who's it? Lisa, you start us off. I can pick any of those actresses. Anyone. Each time it comes to you, a movie that features any of them. We've already established that one of them is in all the Harry Potter movies.

So if you can remember what those are called, that's very helpful. The guys from England are really feeling proud of themselves. Doesn't the first one have a different name over there, though?

Who? Nothing. Okay. Don't engage, Doug. Harry! Harry! Harry Potter! What is happening?

Shut up, you fucking house elf. Somebody give this man a sock and get him out. Harry! Harry! Okay. He can't keep words or teeth in his mouth. It's amazing. Loose lips and teeth.

Never heard of such a thing. What'd you say, Lisa? I love you. No, Lisa, not you. Not talking to you. I didn't say yet, but I will say now, Armageddon. Liv Tyler. I had to look to see which one.

But yes, Liv Tyler. Matt? Alien. Okay, we're going to do this right now. Right here, Liv Tyler. Matt? Alien. Okay, we're going to do this right now. Right here, we're going to do this. Aliens. Ernest? Aliens 3. Yeah, with the little... There's more.

To the third. What do you mean there's more? Isn't there more? No, it's just Aliens with the little three, like it's a mathematical. Oh, okay. Well, then I have another one. All right, cool. Yeah, yeah.

It didn't make any sense, but neither did a fucking seven in the middle of the word seven instead of the V. It's like David Fincher's thing. Lisa? Ghostbusters. Yeah.

Well, Matt, that's a real layup for you Ghostbusters 2 yeah but we got off of the alien train I think I'm gonna

stay off of it and say working girl oh dang I think I'm going to stay off of it and say Working Girl. Oh, dang. The Lord of the Rings. Wait a second, Ernest. There's more to that. You're really wading into rough waters there.

Every Lord of the Rings movie has a lot more words in the title. If you want to give it a try, you can. Or you can say something else, or go to your lifeline. What? Return of the King? Lord of the Rings.

Lord of the Rings. Return of the King. You're still in. Lisa? Galaxy Quests Matt Alien Resurrection that was the one I was trying to think of but I couldn't fucking do it

fucked it up had to say working girl. And now I have to say gorillas in the mist. Oh! Back to you, E. Lord of the Rings. The Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings The Lord of the Rings

Oh shit The Two Towers Yeah I'll do the last one when it gets back to me just to take you out of your misery Thanks Lisa

It's me again already? It's crazy after that shit flies around in you. Avatar. Mm-hmm. Matt. The Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring. So close.

The Fellowship of the Rings. Yeah. Oh, dang. It's tied for the record of movie with the most does in the title. I'm going to say The Year of Living Dangerously. Ernest. Paul. Damn.

Good Paul. Yeah, Paul. Good Paul. Lisa. Good Paul. Yeah, Paul. Good Paul. Lisa? Harry Potter. Harry Potter and... The Sorcerer's... What is it?

Like the Sorcerer's Stone? Yeah! I almost said Apprentice. I'm so unsure of myself. Matt? Yeah, see, that's what I'm saying. In England, it was called what? The Philosopher's Stone.

Yeah. That's what I was referring to earlier, you drunken piece of shit. Whose turn is it? Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Yes. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban oh man

Ernest Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire yes everybody drink up your goblets of fire that was followed by Harry Potter and a patch of gonorrhea. Lisa? Oh, man, I think I got to use Sam now.

Uh-oh. Sam, what do you think? Finding Dory. Interesting. Which one was in that? Sigourney's in it? Nice. Very good. All right, you're still in it? Nice. Very good. Alright, you're

still in it. Matt? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Oh, really? What about Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2? What about it, Doug? Ernest? Did we say Order of the Phoenix

uh oh Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix yeah we skipped over a couple of them we're out of sync yeah yeah

Lisa it's back to you again it's crazy Finding Nemo no she wasn't in the first one crap yeah

do you have any other guesses like Armageddon 2 oh No, she wasn't in the first one. Crap. Yeah. Do you have any other guesses? Like Armageddon 2? Oh. The Return of the Meteor. I don't have another guess. No.

I'm out of gas here. All right. Well, thank you for participating. Thanks, guys. Bye. Bye. I do have an impression of Liv Tyler though alright I guess we have to

we have to take a break from this exciting game I bet it's her introducing herself yes can you do an impression of Liv Tyler this exciting game. I bet it's her introducing herself. Yes. Can you do an impression of Liv Tyler

without mentioning that you're Liv Tyler? Of course I can. You may have seen me in Armageddon. Wait, she's like got a British thing going on? Why is she British?

Is she? You're thinking of Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, crap. Told you I ran out of gas. Oh, Madonna. All right. Where are we at? Whose turn is it?

It's Matt, Dazed and Confused. Okay. Very good. Very good. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. The Hobbit on Unexpected Journey. Whoa. Listen to this guy.

That's crazy. Matt. Hilarious. Now I'm like, which one is she in? The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug? Yeah. Sure. All right, cool.

That's how we're doing this. I can't remember the third Hobbit movie, so I'll leave that to you guys. And I'll jump to a Maggie Smith classic? Or maybe a Sigourney Weaver? Oh, I'm going to go Sigourney Weaver. Copycat. Oh, that'm going to go Sigourney Weaver. Copycat. Oh.

That's a good one. Right? Ernest should have known that one. Damn. Damn. That smells delightful. What do you think, Ernest?

Do you want to go to Andy? Uh, no. No, he doesn't. He doesn't need Andy. The Hobbit, the Battle of the Five Armies. Was that what it's called? Okay. I thought it was called...

Oh, anyway. I don't want to throw anything out there that might be Matt what was the first Hobbit movie you said? An Unexpected Journey Maggie's Downton Abbey the movie yes indeed she was in a motion picture with indeed

she was in a motion picture with Michael Caine called California Sweet Ernest I don't have anything left go to your lifeline Andy the all women Ghostbusters I don't have anything left. Go to your lifeline. Andy?

Ghostbusters 2018. All women cast. The all women Ghostbusters. Genius. She does have a cameo. Yeah. Of course she does. Yeah.

Great job. Very nice. Matt? What is the name of that fucking movie Oh that movie Yeah shit What the fuck is that thing called Chris One Night at McCool

My man What is that Matt One Night at McCool sorry Gotta repeat it but good job Very very good job. Oh, I got another one. Oh, it's my turn. It's perfect timing.

Empire Records. Fuck! I kept wanting to say High Fidelity. That's the movie I was trying to think of. Yeah, that's what happens. Back to you, Ernie. Do people call you Ernie? Yeah.

I will never do it again. Promise you. I got nothing. Let me just check really quick. Kyle, you have a few, right? Don't say them. Starts blurting them all out. Matt?

I was going to say hook, but he just said it. That's okay. He's not in the game. You are. Hook, yeah. Yeah, I'll take the other one, he said. You are. Hook, yeah.

Yeah, I'll take the other one, he said. Anyway, yeah. I mean, I don't think I have any more. What's that one? Finding Beauty? Was that her? Stealing Beauty. Thank you very much. Let's hear it for Matt Fernandez, everybody.

He did it. Did you go to Chris at all? Yeah, I went to him for fucking One Night at McCool's. Oh, that's right. That's right. One Night at McCool's.

Great job, Chris. Come up here and get your prizes. Oh, yeah. You get the whole bag of stuff. And I owe you a Doug Benson pin. Oh, here's that stuff that Lisa put in there.

That bag is full of glitter. Have fun. Yeah, just see me after at the merch table for a pin. You'll know it's the merch table because it's the table I'm staying next to. And there's just a handful of pins sitting on it. Yeah we'll see you over there and we'll give you one. Congratulations. Good job. Yeah congratulations to Matt you did it. Do you want your Christmas vacation sign back? He's going to get it later

I love this guy So efficient I was going to say You can get it now if you want But that's cool Yeah he doesn't want to interrupt You're a good guy man I'm glad I picked your sign

Yeah I'm glad you won the prizes You're probably the nicest person here. Who are you going to vote for? Everybody loved Chris until he got to ask that question. Turned out he was an ill-informed piece of garbage. Chris was riding high, and you fucking swatted him down.

He was doing great, but, you know, then real life kicks in. Got these important elections coming up. When's the next, when's this Florida primary? I think it starts tomorrow. What? March 17th. March 17th. Yeah, we got Tuesday the 3rd in L.A. We got to go out and do our thing.

They sent me a bunch of stuff in the mail. We'll see. See if of stuff in the mail. We'll see. See if I vote in the primary. I think if there's local initiatives and stuff that are important, I guess I should vote on those. Welcome to Dallas, legalizing weed federally. Too many words, man. Too many words. Yeah, it's really hard to do long form heckling.

Be sure to vote for the person who's on the side of the most important issue. Okay, you lost us. There's no... You really didn't need to just keep going and going. Gotta figure out a way to make it shorter. Vote for the pot lover.

That kind of thing. Which candidate do you say is saying that? I don't know for sure. Way to go, man. Vote for the guy who wants to legalize weed. Which one is that? I'm not sure. You need to look it up yourself. I'm going to go smoke

another bowl. But yeah, Bernie, I mean, all the Democrats are pretty pretty all right with weed except for Biden who uh I I'm so pissed at myself he ran into me in a bar literally I'm sitting at the bar talking to my girlfriend and fucking Biden brushes by like close enough that as he was coming at me I saw him coming and I just put my hand out and touched him as he walked by and said the words to my girlfriend, I'm touching Joe Biden.

And then he just went and had a meeting with somebody in the corner. He was like, that guy touched me. It was weird. But he seems approachable, right? He didn't have a lot of secret service. He brushed right by me. Him and Warren are probably the most approachable of all the candidates.

And I just wish that I had at that time grabbed him and said, Hey, man, you know, you got to fucking lighten up on your weed as a gateway drug stance. Or a gateway drug. You smoke too much, you'll shoot rays out of your eyes um yeah there was a gentleman named corn pop tried to shoot some lasers at me and i did not like that i was like you must be high corn pop

i've never tried to do a joe biden i'm never going to try again. So my point is just that I wish I had said to him, hey, man, you know, get it together. But then, like, a few weeks later, he was like, I take it back. Weed's not a gateway drug. So I think all the Democrats that are, like, have a chance are all pretty, fairly pro-weed. So there's no real worry there.

Yeah, there's a bigger worry. There's higher stakes than legal this is not this is not a political show and it's a show about movies which are

free to be watched by anybody regardless of how stupid you are and let's do some plugs Matt Fernandez what do you got coming up

I'll be here Wednesday night headlining. If you want to come, free tickets. Go on the website, promo code MF, my initials, number six, free tickets. If you want to come out Wednesday night, it's going to be a good time. All right, so the code is MF, my initials, six. Yep. And follow me on Twitter, Fat Hernandez.

Amazon Prime Special. You can see that for nothing if you have Prime. Oh, it's included with Prime? That's right. I love that. Check it out. You just click on it. Just search Fat Hernandez.

You just sit back and go, it's included. I can just watch this. Jam it in your eyes. I like it. I don't know. Thanks. How many times have you done the show here in Orlando? Four or five.

Every time somebody over there said in a very disgruntled way, oh. Damn. Everybody, tell Matt Fernandez how much you love him. And come see him, what did you say, Wednesday? Wednesday night. Wednesday night, right here on this very stage. That's awesome.

I love Matt. Lisa, what's going on with you? Yeah, please be my friend on Twitter and Instagram. And I have a show in Clearwater if you want to drive over there. April, I think April 11th, opening for Patton Oswalt. Yeah. Which I believe you also did last night here in Orlando at the Hard Rocking Place. Oh, some of you guys were there.

Awesome. That was fun? Yeah. Oh, it was so fun. Yeah. Oh, thank you. We were talking about Lisa, but that's cool. I'll take it.

And Ernest Vilcek, what have you got to plug? Oh, God. A Xerox machine. Dog spines. Bring back paper that about covers it that's it that's it that's all your plugs

that's it you want to say hi to your wife again hello Tiffany hey Tiffany she's the one with the Twitter account so I've interacted with her a little bit on Twitter.

You're no social media guy? No. Yeah, that's pretty cool. How do you do it? I just never started. It's all paper. I mean, you seem like a true original, Ernest. And I appreciate you being here.

I've got a couple of plugs. I'm doing stand-up in San Francisco on April 19th and in Denver on that big day, April 20, 1920. You just got back from the bathroom? Yeah, you had to go. I mean, it was practically over and you went to the bathroom. But I'm glad you made it back in time for me to say, let's hear it one

more time for all of my guests. Matt Fernandez, Lisa Corral, and Ernest. How do you say it again? Philsec. That's right. That's how you say it. And thank you to the Orlando Improv for having me back.

Everybody here. The guy with the Sam Levine mask over there. What an impressive... Can't believe that didn't get chosen. Was that your name tag? No, sir. No, sir. You just brought that as an extra treat. Just have fucking Sam Levine staring back at me

while I'm trying to do a show. Should've held that up every time I got an answer. Like, I got something wrong, you should hold up Sam Levine's face. Just stare at me and make me get it right. Thank you guys! As always, positive energy! Now it's time for Doug to watch another

talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!