Doug Loves Movies - Live in Chicago

Episode Date: October 13, 2010

Recorded Monday, October 4, 2010 in front of a live audience at Zanies Comedy Club with the help of The Onion's AV Club and features guest comedians Graham Elwood, Kyle Kinane, and Dan "The Professor" Telfer. Doug also interviews the author of the new movie book "My Year of Flops" Nathan Rabin. If you love Doug or movies, good for you!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody I got my beginning opening speech written down And it's in this bag somewhere So let me find it

I wrote it down on a little hotel stationery Hey everybody, I said that already My name is Doug and and I love movies. This episode of Doug Loves Movies is coming to you from Zany's Comedy Club in Chicago on October 4th, 2010 in front of a live Chicago audience! Yes!

Like John underscore Nichols underscore WI. What a complicated name on Twitter. He tweeted this to me. They send one of yours to the hospital. You send one of those to a live taping of Doug Love's movies. That's the Chicago way. I do a terrible uh sean connery doing a terrible chicago accent um i see lots of name tags in the audience karen is wearing hers on her head and then there's somebody named Basket sitting next to her. Is that what it says?

Hasket. Oh, okay. You said it like I was crazy for calling you Basket when your name is Hasket. It's Hasket. Kind of name for a child is Basket. I'm not one of Michael Jackson's children.

You do have yet another one that Michael Jackson's children. You do have yet another one that would have been basket. Because once you have a blanket, you should have a basket. So we played a few rounds of the Leonard Maltin game yesterday at my 420 matinee here at Zany's. And yeah, and some of you were here for that. And a young woman got... Do you remember her name? I think it was Caitlin. She got the breakup.

She got that right with negative two names. Yeah, it was exciting. And we'll be playing games later with my guest tonight. But first, since this is a supersized special edition, I'd like to chat with, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to bring up here, because he lives here, the author of a new AV Club book.

And AV Club, of course, is here in Chicago as a sponsor of this particular event you're watching or listening to right now. But please welcome My Year of Flops author Nathan Rabin, everybody. Nathan Rabin is here. And I was so worried about mispronouncing his name because I guessed wrong when I asked him about it before the show. I said, is it Rabin? And he's like, no, Rabin. And I was like, there's no way I'm going to get this right. But I did it

it's Nathan oh it's Nathan you got half of it right I always have to screw up part of it like today I was on Twitter I heard that Zack Snyder is going to direct the new Superman movie but I also heard today that Emma Stone might be

Mary Jane in the new Spider-Man movie and I just put that together that Emma Stone is going to be directed by Zack Sny Jane in the new Spider-Man movie. And I just put that together that Emma Stone is going to be directed by Zack Snyder in the new Spider-Man movie. And I tweeted about it all excited. And then everyone on Twitter went crazy with either correcting me and saying that I was wrong or getting excited about what I was suggesting

is going to happen. And it was a nightmare, you guys. I know there's a lot of terrible things going on in the world, but I was experiencing a true nightmare today. I feel your pain. Yeah, but I see you have a nice glass of Stella Artois. I do indeed.

Did they have that fancy scooper thing to shove the foam off of the top the perfect way? They did not. Of course not. They did it the half-assed way. What a place called Zany's. Not just any place called Zany's. I was looking over there,

and they have, and this very much impressed me, they have a headshot of Lester. Not Willie Tyler and Lester, just the ventriloquist dummy. Which leads me to believe that at one point, Lester played here by himself. People are like,

where's Willie Tyler? He's like, fuck you. Not to take the subject off of movies, but I used to work occasionally opening up for a... Yeah, you can't put a microphone in a glass of Stella Antoine. Learned that the hard way. That's really weird. Why is that? Is it because it's got that gold rim on the top?. That's really weird. Why is that? Is it because it's got that gold rim on the top?

Maybe that's what did it. Anyway, I don't know what I was talking about, but I'm sure it was fascinating to everybody that... Portraying Mary Jane. What's that? Zack Snyder and Spider-Man. Oh, no, I was done talking about that. I was going to say some anecdote

related to what you just said, and I already forgot it. What did you just say? It was about Lester. Oh, yeah. I was working with a ventriloquist, and he would call me up, and the dummy would talk first,

and you'd have to talk. Chuck was his dummy, Chuck Wood. And I'd have to talk Chuck into putting David on the phone so we could have a conversation, even though he called me. I'd have to be, all right, Chuck, well, it was nice talking to you. Can I talk to David now? You know, just stupid ventriloquist puppet voice. Can I talk to David now?

You know, just stupid ventriloquist puppet voice. But his act, he invented a remote control dummy, and his claim to fame was that he'd leave the stage, they'd have a fight, they'd break up, and the dummy would be like, I can do this without you. And he'd say, okay, we'll prove it. And he'd walk off stage, and the dummy would sit there, limp for a second, and then suddenly it would sit up and its eyes would open and five people a night

would die in their seats when that happened. It would just fucking expire. Like if you had like a grandma or a grandpa that was like in pain and you wanted to end

their lives you brought them to see this ventriloquist because that fucking dummy comes to life and it's the scariest shit ever. I think that's the plot of magic yeah yeah the movie magic the trailer for magic if you've never seen it it's just amazing it's just a scary ventriloquist

puppet saying a rhyme about how he's going to kill you and uh and that was that was definitely a big source of nightmares for me as a young person. But let's get to your book, Nathan Rabin. AV Club presents it. So right there, that's a stamp of like, this shit's going to be awesome because AV Club's involved. And it says, you know, from the faceless corporation

behind Inventory and the the onion it's my year of flops and just right here on the cover you've got like cleopatra and last action hero and that shitty madonna movie that doesn't really narrow it down and battlefield earth and even Cowgirls Get the Blues and Rocketeer. So you spent one year just seeing and writing about some of the most notorious flops or are not notorious in some cases but just flops for whatever reason. You just watched a bunch of them and then wrote an essay on each one and that's what the book is. Yeah, well, it was actually three and a half years. But you called it my year of flops because my three and a half year of flops

is too clunky. There's no reason to drag it out. Let's make it a year. I was impressed that you saw this shit in a year, even though you probably dated all the stories, right? Actually, I wrote a bunch of new stuff for it.

Oh, that's true. Sometimes you'll turn the page and say, this one is exclusive to the book. And again, I shit myself whenever that happens. Because that's exciting, because I'm holding the book. And then I get to actually read it. Yeah, that's a good trick. I love that.

I put some of my best jokes in the bonus tracks on my CDs. I don't know if the two are related at all. There are 50 movies in the book. Yes. And I've seen 29 of them. I counted them up from beginning to end. And then I'm familiar with lots of the other ones. them up from beginning to end and then I'm familiar with lots of the other ones and then so I'd like to start by asking you which flop

of all the ones you talk about is like your favorite like you think it's a good movie that flopped unfairly? There were a bunch I'm very enamored of Freddy Got Fingered I'm just going to wait for like waves and peals of laughter and applause whenever I say something. That was an interesting reaction from the audience because I would imagine everyone else either hasn't seen it

or thought it was horrible. But there's some people that are super into it. Did you learn that from this experience? I think you even wrote it at some point in the book, maybe in the introduction, that every shitty movie is loved by somebody. Exactly. Actually, what inspired that was I was at the Golden Nugget. There we go.

Casino in the shitty part of Vegas? It's a chain restaurant here in Chicago. It's 24 hours. The Golden Nugget. There's a chain restaurant called the Golden Nugget? Yes. 24 hours. Wow.

They make They make nuggets. Hell of a frittata. They fry up some nuggets. And I was sitting next to this woman and she appeared to be sane and she was well-dressed and she's like,

oh, you know, I just saw this movie. It's probably my favorite movie ever. It's called The Other Sister. And there's this actress in it. I don saw this movie it's probably my favorite movie ever it's called The Other Sister and there's this actress in it I don't know if she's like really specially challenged or anything but she's just the most

incorrigible free spirit you'd ever want to meet and it was great for a number of reasons one of which was she thought that Julia Lewis was retarded yeah well she probably only saw her in that and Cape Fear. Where, you know, you have to be retarded to let Robert De Niro

at his skankiest put his fingers in your mouth. But, yeah, Other Sister is one of the, I might screen that sometime with a live commentary because it is amazing if you guys haven't seen it.

Because, like, Juliette Lewis and Giovanna Ribisi are good actors, but why would they ever sign on to a Gary Marshall dramedy about retarded people when they're not? Or maybe they were, and that's why they signed on. But, like, you know But they lay into it. They really play their parts. But I always find that it's just like I Am Sam with Sean Penn. He's arguably the greatest actor alive.

The man does fine work. He does really good work. But the whole time that movie, you're going, that's Sean Penn pretending to be retarded. Like, you never give in to it. Like, you give in to Dustin Hoffman and Rain Man, and you give in to plenty of them over the years. But, like, they say in, what you call it?

That's so funny. Everybody knew it. Tropic Thunder. You know, it's that full retard that really kills you. And it's so funny, that like they accidentally angered people with that more than they angered people with robert downey jr's black makeup because that was all the press was about robbie downey jr before you saw that movie you didn't know that there was huge stretches where ben stiller pretends to play the most retarded human being ever alive and then they talk about it a lot.

They hid that in all the marketing, but they could do the guy in the black face. That was all right. Go for it. Interesting. All right, so did you name a favorite? Well, I said Freddy Got Fingered is one. Why do you like that so much?

No offense to you or Freddie. It's one of the few films where I was genuinely shocked and mildly offended by it. I'd like to think that I'm jaded enough when something like that happens. And there's also a lot of fondling of animal cocks. More so maybe

than most Hollywood films. When I saw the trailer for Freddie Got Fingered, I fell out of my chair laughing when he was playing that weird organ with the pieces of sausage flying around and singing the sausage song. But they cut it together in a hilarious way in the trailer.

And then in the movie, you see that whole sausage instrument thing before he ever starts to play it. And in the trailer, you see it and you hear him playing it at the same time. So some sort of timing like that,

where it's really funny in the trailer and then in the movie, it's not as funny. So that's kind of sad that whoever slapped together the trailer was funnier at the timing than he directed that, right? That's the one chick in that film's armor. It's one minor imperfection.

I thought you were about to say there's only one Asian person in that movie. I was about to go, Nathan! All right, so this is what I'll do. This is what I'll do for Nathan and for everybody that cheered. I will watch Freddy Got Fingered before, within the next couple weeks, and I will speak on it at a podcast.

Maybe I'm judging it unfairly. Yeah. Well, it takes sort of multiple viewings for the layers to really sink in. Well, that's kind of the fun thing about cable TV and TBS and stuff when they show older movies that are, you know, sometimes TNT calls them new classics. Like, the ones that become new classics are pretty watchable even when they're shitty. You know what I mean? Like, I can sit through Roadhouse or Point Break any day of the week, and they're not really good movies, but there's something good about them that makes them so watchable.

A certain Swayze-osity about them. I can't give it all to Swayze on Roadhouse because, you know, he's great in it, but there's a lot of stuff he's in that I wouldn't say that about. Right? How many times have you watched Wong Fu, I'm Julie Newmar,

fuck off, or whatever it's called? More than I'd like to admit. If I never see John Leguizamo and Wesley Snipes in drag again, I could die happy and with an erection. I think you never will see Patrick Swayze in drag again. I didn't say him. I didn't say him.

I didn't say him in that one. And I could go back and watch it again if I want to. How fucking creepy weird is Ghost now, though? I haven't watched it. I haven't watched it, but that's got to be... It's got to be extra moving now. And it's weird that you say that, because actually... Right? I will cry finally at Ghost.

Actually, the next film I'm going to do for My Hero Flops is a short film called Michael Jackson's Ghost. That's a real thing? It's a real thing. It's like a 40-minute long movie that Michael Jackson did at the height of his insanity. Sort of written by Stephen King, directed by Stan Winston. And it's him playing 17 different roles because nobody disappears into a role

quite like Michael Jackson how do you see this thing? who is that actor playing the boorish well as you I'm surprised you don't know it played in front of certain prints of thinner oh yeah in 1996

and it's about a man who loses a lot of weight. Yeah, yeah. And then it, like, I don't know, played in foreign theaters. But now, how can you see it? Oh, I procured a copy via eBay. Oh, eBay. Nice. All right.

Well, I can't wait to hear about that. And then also try to see it somehow, because that sounds amazing. That sounds like it's right up there with the Star Wars Christmas special. That sounds amazing. That sounds like it's right up there with the Star Wars Christmas special. So which out of all the flops was the hardest one to sit through? Real Cancun.

I saw that in a theater. Oh my God. You were probably the only one at that point. They really advertised it like it was going to be finally a movie about spring break where you see all the boobity. Yeah.

It wasn't really that. It was tawdry because there was certainly date rape going on. But there wasn't that much nudity so it was really a frustrating situation. That's the original title.

There's only a couple other dudes in the theater. I can whip it out and do what I gotta do. Can you imagine turning around to the other guys? Hey, guys. You're here to jerk off, right?

Let's make a jerk-off pack. Let's all jerk off for this movie. Just try not to make any noise because that's... That's a bummer. Revolutionized movie going that way. I think so. If Pee Wee Herman had just asked everybody,

if he had just been more polite about it, the guy who called the cops was probably the guy who had something in his hair. You know? You're right. I take that one back. So here's a trivia question for you. Which director is in here more than once this is very sad like i know that of all of my earflops uh james tobac and barry levin said

uh are they two filmmakers that they're both in it more than once they are yeah see i tried to like do the research and uh come up with a good question for you that I knew the actual answer to. Stump me about my own book. And maybe stump you about your own book. There's a lot of things in here, so it's not like you have to memorize it. But I didn't notice that either of those dudes were in there twice.

And I found one that's in there twice that you didn't say. Can you give me some sort of hint? I can. Both of the movies he did were shitty. And that's why they're in the book My Year of Flops And one of them's on the cover Alright, let's see

Yeah, right Oh, it's Gus Van Zandt Yes, Gus Van Zandt has Even Cowgirls Get the Blues Which I never saw Because I was like Why does she have really long thumbs Or whatever

And And then that remake of Psycho that was shot by shot that I did see, that was one of the most insane motion pictures I've ever sat through in my entire life. Because part of what's great about Psycho is how surprising

it is, and not that you know every single shot before it happens. Well, it really seems like a film that was made on a dare. It's like, they got really drunk. It's like, hey, I bet you can't make psycho shot for shot and get somebody to pay for it and see it. And then he did it, and then they did.

But there's some movies you could do that with and still have a pretty good movie. Like, I haven't seen it yet, but Let Me In sounds like it's a pretty carbon copy of the Swedish, you'd let the right one in. Funny Games as well, which was Michael Haneke. Yeah, yeah, I didn't see that. I don't like that.

I don't like that. Torture is not my... If I know something's going to have torture in it, I don't go. See, I like torture, but only in real life. It's off-putting when you see it in movies. I don't have a follow-up question to that. I'm going to go ahead and let that go. Because that could just be careening all over the place.

And we're here to talk about movies. Let me turn to page 272 so that I can tell you about my favorite movie in your book of flops. Right. And see how much support I get if I get more support than Freddy Got Fingered. Hang on. I'm almost there. I'm not there than Freddy Got Fingered. Hang on. I'm almost there. I'm not even close. There it is.

My movie is Joe vs. the Volcano. Every shitty movie has supporters. My animator actually said, like, oh my god, I can't believe you're asking me to draw something of that shitty, shitty movie, Joe vs. the Volcano. And I said, I have an impassioned defense.

And he said, I can't believe you're going to actually write something positive about that shitty movie, Joe vs. the Volcano. I accidentally almost quoted the movie when you said something, and I love the line in the movie when Meg Ryan says, I have no response to that when he tells you things. I think it comes up a couple of times.

That's really funny. It's just a really – it is kind of slowly paced. You kind of talk about that. Right. And you talk about all the problems. It was a first-time director who was a great writer, and John Patrick Shanley. But it opened the same weekend, I think,

as Pretty Woman, and I was a fledgling stand-up comedian, so I was opening for some other comics at a club in El Paso, Texas, and, really? And I I went to the movies a lot during the day, and so I saw Pretty Woman, I think, maybe on Friday the day it opened, and then later that day I saw Joe vs. the Volcano, and then the next day I went back

and saw Joe vs. the Volcano again, and Pretty Woman ended up being the huge hit of the of the two but uh every time i see it now they play it on like i think lifetime or some or oxygen or something has it and um and uh so um i watch it whenever it's on and i I always enjoy it. Well, I wrote and directed that film, so I take a lot of pride in it. Wouldn't that be weird if the writer-director of a flop went on to write a book about all the other flops and what he thought of them? What do you say at the end? Because you always give it a rating at the end. Oh, Drivers of the Volcano?

That's a secret success. Secret success. I like the sound of that. Was Freddy Got Fingered a secret success? It was indeed, yeah. All right. If you say so. One step forward, one step back.

Got to do what you got to do. All right. So let's just pick at random one movie. And then we're going to move on and bring out my... We got lots of comedians waiting to come up here and do this stuff. So I'm going to just pick a movie at random. This one is... Skidoo!

There we go. It says, hippified book exclusive case file. So this means it's only in the book, and it's about a movie called Skidoo. And this is a movie that I admit I have not seen. But it sounds like I should, because you mentioned pot, acid, and sexy hippie chicks. Of easy virtue. Which is my favorite virtue of all the virtues, is easy. And like all hippie movies, it starred Groucho Marx and Jackie Gleason.

And Carol Chan. That's right. This is a super weird-ass movie. And Otto Preminger directed it. The bald guy. Yes. The head Nazi from Stalag 17. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was Mr. Freeze in the 60s TV Batman. He was. I read that right out of your book. Don't anybody listening think, holy shit, Doug really is on his game. I'd be like, he was that guy in that thing. If I wasn't looking right at it.

So, you call it a fiasco, ultimately. I do, and I've seen it three times. Spoiler alert. Why did you see it three times? The third time was for this book? Well, I read about it for the first time for a feature we do called Films That Time Forgot. And then the second time

I saw it for this book. And then the third time I saw it, so then I got a really good entry for it. So I think with some of these, it's kind of Stockholm Syndrome, where I've spent so much time watching these movies that I want to see something positive about it. And it's trying! It's trying!

That's the awesome thing about it, is three different people who played Batman villains are in this movie. Oh, totally. So this is on my to-see list as well. Is it like on DVD? It is not, actually. I got like a bootleg Miami search DVD of it. You're so connected.

I purchase bootlegs illegally. Do you have like a screening room so we can just come over and watch these with you? We do. Really? Well, we have a room. Oh, okay.

If ad reps aren't currently occupying it, we're allowed to watch movies. And when does this come out? October 19th? October 19th. I remembered. October 19th, everybody pick up

My Year of Flops by Nathan Rabin. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks for having me on. Appreciate it. I read most of the book. I really did. It's funny, though.

You gravitate towards, you want to read, thanks, Nathan, you want to read the ones that, you want to read his articles about the ones you've seen more than the ones you haven't seen because it's just kind of fun to read his articles about the ones you've seen more than the ones you haven't seen because it's just kind of fun to read about.

Oh, yeah, I agree with him about how shitty that was. They got Al Pacino on the cover with a headband on and it's from the movie Cruising. Then they have Woody Allen and It could be any Woody Allen movie But it's scenes from them all But it's just him by himself So it's like Well which Woody Allen movie is that?

There's a few that he weren't in I guess So we can narrow it down Alright my guests tonight Are three funny comedians Who happen to be in Chicago Yeah that was the Basically the vetting process

I went through. It's like who's funny and in Chicago? I'll use them. And, you know, we tried to track down some, like, people that have been in a lot of movies, you know, because there's a few people that are in town, like Laurie Metcalf is here for some reason, and so is Jennifer

Beals, but that didn't work out. Turns out they're not fans of the podcast or even answering emails from strangers. their people shut it down because they don't know. But that's alright because these are three really funny dudes that I like quite

a bit. And two of them have been on the podcast before and one of them I've always wanted to have on. So everybody here in Chicago at it's A&E's. Please welcome Dan Telfer, Kyle Kinane, and Graham Elwood. Hello, sir. Hello, sir. Hello, sir. Hello, sir. Hello, sir. Woo!

I love Joe vs. the Volcano. Yeah, it's a great movie. I love it. I can't believe you and I have never talked about that. Lloyd Bridges is so great in it because when he first comes to, he has this doctor tell, he goes, I have a brain cloud,

which is so great. And then he's like, you know, he's like, go up there and live like a king, die like a man. That's the kind of calls they make up in the high country. Like, he's awesome in it. Dan Hedaya's great. That scene in the office where it's so, he's just on the phone going, I'm not arguing that with you. I'm not arguing

that with you. I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I'm not arguing that with you. I know he can get the job, but can he do the job? I'm not arguing that with you. It's like 10 minutes. So great. I'm a flippity jibbit. I love that movie. Was that still Dan Hedaya? No, that was... Meg Ryan plays three parts.

Yes. She's adorable. She hasn't had work done yet. I always feel so bad when I see her now. It's like, why did you do that? You're such a cute old lady. What? She's not cute old. She's like...

She's all right. Yeah, I like... She's not saying that she's ruined... She's already on the Joan Rivers track. You don't know what she looked like before she got to work then. Maybe it was all going south real fast. You're saying her lips

weren't duck-like enough? Things were getting out of control, you know? She had to just jump on it, you know? Get in there and start doing some more. So the time between movies, like, there was like a nine-month period where everything was just fucking... Much like another film, The Money Pit, maybe her face was just

falling apart. Every left turn, Something was breaking apart She'd put some scaffolding up That's what I'm saying Once you start with doing the work That's a horrible cycle to get in Yeah that doesn't bother me that much What I thought was really creepy

Was like there was an interview that came out Right when her plastic surgery was starting to become Like a big news item And it was like this interview where she was extremely hostile. Like just clear that like it had poisoned her brain, what she had done to her face. Like someone had just walked up to her on the stream and like, hey, you kind of look like a series of fish hooks

have made their way through your face. And she had just like torn the jugular out with her teeth of some like former fan of Joe versus the volcano. Like when Rolling Stone pulled her aside. Can I call my next album a series of fish hooks? So that was Dan Telfer speaking. Yeah. And Kyle is also here.

You were talking earlier. I just haven't identified everybody for the listening audience. For certain. And nobody knows who I am. Well, they might know you from on AST Records. You have a recording. That's right. Which one person knows about it?

What's it called? It's called Fossil Record. Yeah, there you go. Yay. Now, one of the people. I've worked with Dan once before Here at this very club And he had a routine that I was particularly

Tickled by About and relating to The motion picture Jurassic Park Yes that's right I don't mean to put you on the spot but Fucking do it now Do your act Do your act right now

Say something funny I think what's most intimidating Do your act Do your act right now Say something funny Go I think what's most intimidating Is Kyle Kinane leaning in Like this is gonna be A special secret moment for us It's so personal up here I know, I know

You want me to just do the fucking bit? Well, you know I might interrupt here and there But Wait, which show are we doing here, Doug? Do the essence of it Alright I'll do the essence of it.

I'm practicing for the TV show. I will rip the soul from the joke, and I will display it for all to see. You know the part I like. I want to get to the part where we get to guess names of dinosaurs. All right. Get us there as quickly as you can.

All right. That sounded so creepy. You know the part I like. All right. Well, I know. You were totally waiting for him to just start. I don't need any foreplay. You know the part I like. All right. Well, I know. I know. Like, you were totally waiting for him to just start. I don't need any foreplay.

You know what I like. Pull my hair. Pull my hair. What'd he lean back to? Like, oh, I guess I should go over there. Yeah, let's do this. All right. Well, I'm ready for chaos with this bit.

This whole bit relies on ridiculousness. I'm not worried about being interrupted, but pardon the pretense for a moment. Ladies and gentlemen of the Zany's audience, I love something very much, and it is dinosaurs. Do you guys like dinosaurs?

Sounds like you really went to the top of the bit, and we're going to get the whole thing. Really? There's that many dinosaur fans here tonight. Do you not want me to do the whole bit? Who can be against dinosaurs? I am, motherfucker. I don't like them.

Good Christians. They're pussies? I want to stand up everything. Okay, well the the whole thing of the bit is I'll ask the audience what they think the best dinosaur is

and one time I did just do that part I did just say like hey do you guys like dinosaurs and of course someone else they were like

no no like trying to stop the bit because of course I was dumb enough to try to like just go into a

cold audience like that in an audience that wasn't ready to listen to that bit. And I said, why don't you like dinosaurs? And she was like, because they're cute and they're gone now. So I said, so do you also hate JonBenet Ramsey?

Because it's basically the same thing. Boom. But what do you guys think? We'll dig around for a second. What's my favorite dinosaur? I'd have to go with... Well, just say Velociraptor. You want me to fucking go into Velociraptor for Jurassic Park, Doug?

Let's do it. Yeah. You tell them it's shocking news about the Velociraptor in Jurassic Park. It shouldn't be shocking news because if you if you paid any fucking attention you know that wasn't for reals velociraptors in that movie how would i know that if i'm not a dinosaur fucker a there's tons of like fish lines you can see the puppets but also no there's but uh it was cgi well most they're they're they're weird like like velociraptor gloves that work in that movie, though.

I was only 12 when that came out, but I was definitely at certain points like, what is this Muppet shit? Like when they were trying to open... Anyway, this isn't the bit you wanted to hear. The bullshit is the movie, the Velociraptors in the movie look exactly like Deinonychus,

or Deinonychus, or I don't know. Some nerds have yelled at me on the internet about how to really pronounce it. But it's a 10 to 15 foot tall cousin of the Velociraptor. Velociraptor is a little piece of shit that's like three feet tall. Like those little things in part two?

What were those supposed to be? Oh, I don't know. The first one there was Comtex or Compies. Little egg eaters. They like piled on. Yeah, a little girl or whatever. They attack them on the beach... Oh, yeah, the little girl or whatever, they attack them on the beach or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So these are not test answers, then. You can't use the information from Jurassic Park on a test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Surprising, like, it's so weird. I'm one of the most... Dinosaurs or birds? That's what I was going to say. Does anybody ever say birds? What's your favorite dinosaur? yeah yeah yeah surprising like it's so weird I'm one of the dinosaurs are birds that's what I was going to say

does anybody ever say birds what's your favorite dinosaur they say birds talk your way out of that one talk your way

out of that one nobody's ever said it birds birds go right now birds you win yeah bye Kyle

yeah I but do the part where what happens when people say different types of dinosaurs oh you want me Yeah! Bye, Kyle. Yeah, I... But do the part where what happens when people say different types of dinosaurs. Oh, you want me to just straight up pass the ice? I thought you were trying to cut me short so I don't spin it. No, no, I've got some that I want to try. All right, what do you guys think is the best dinosaur?

T-Rex? All right, if you like big carnivores, what about Giganotosaurus? Same family as T-Rex, but bigger. And think about a T-Rex's forearms for a second. You can't open a fucking fruit cup with those things. They're garbage. Gigantosaurus is at least bigger,

and he's got more useful forearms, and they're less spork-like. And even then, if you want a giant carnivore, what about Spinosaurus, the biggest carnivore that has ever walked the face of the Earth from head to toe? But even then, he has a big flippity-floppity decorative sail on his back for no reason. You're already the biggest badass of all time.

Why the fuck are you showing off with a decorative sail? Like, are you driving a Porsche? Are you balding? How small is your dick, midlife crisis-a-saurus? What else? Stegosaurus! All right, look, I get it. It's very unique, very precious.

It's got plates and bones. I want to do the next one. Well, Doug, you got to be quicker on the draw. Stegosaurus! Stegosaurus is a beautiful, unique creature to look at. But the fossil records show it is the dumbest creature also to ever walk the Earth. Its brain proportion was so bad, it had to have a second brain in its stomach to control its tail.

It had an ass brain. You can't be the best dinosaur for the social obstacle like that afrovenator i don't know what that is i knew i could stump you the point of the bit is not to stump me what is it you looked it up on wikipedia what's it look like doug i think that's i saw you that one time and every dinosaur people yelled out at him he he had something to say about it. Well, I know a few random ones like Parasaurolophus or like Therizinosaurus or whatever the Freddy Krueger finger one is, but I have to figure that out over time.

I will quiz the audience. If they don't know, I'll be like, you fucking tell me. You think it's the best dinosaur? You told me this was the best dinosaur. You know what it is? That's the whole pretense of this bit. You're just like, I don't look shit up on the internet. I'm not the internet,

Doug. I have a liberal arts degree. Microraptor. I went to Columbia College, Chicago. Microraptor, a really small one. Columbia College. Yeah, the fucking fighting. They don't have sports teams. Microraptor probably turned into a bird and it was featured on

Overraptor was probably a bird because O-V-I. Overraptor means it ate eggs. An egg-eating raptor? Why is it, what makes the best dinosaur? Like friendship? Or attack abilities? You gotta define best, Dan. Well, and that's the problem.

I addressed that at the end of the bit. And Kyle, you and I have done enough shows together where that obviously means you were falling asleep drunk at the end of the bit. And Kyle, you and I have done enough shows together where that obviously means you were falling asleep drunk by the end of the bit. Yeah, I don't... I hear this dinosaur shit. I go outside. I don't know what's going on.

Makes me feel dumb. I'm face to face with it. It makes me feel dumb. Big words are bullshit, man. Sarah Palin, 2012! Big words are bullshit, man. Sarah Palin, 2012! Get these socialist big word faggots from ruining our country!

This is what happens when I do this bit at Indian casinos in the upper peninsula of Michigan. That is pretty much exactly... I'll be like, what do you guys think is the best dinosaur? Hey, you like to fuck dudes? Alright. You guys like how it's raining outside?

Please don't murder me with a crossbow. Shut the fuck up, Professor Jones. The ones that die and go in my truck to make it run. They don't know that. Oh. They don't know that their organic material degraded, although it's technically plants.

Dinosaurs, their material did not actually end up becoming petroleum. Sorry. Yeah, how do you feel now, Graham? Well, I'll tell you what, the fucking liberal media made a fucking change on that. I just saw you do the bit one time, and I remembered that you mentioned Jurassic Park, and I was like, if he's ever on Doug Loves Movies, I'm going to have him do it.

And now I feel deep shame that I put you through that. You should feel deep shame. I'm sorry I gave you the opportunity to have some massive laughs. Oh, no. Don't say it. Don't say it. After I set you up. You could have just pretended like you'd never talked about dinosaurs in your life and impressed

the shit out of everybody. That's why I'm bad on morning radio, Doug. Oh, are you terrible on that? Oh, very terrible. Well, I have fun with it, but when they're like... But they don't. Exactly. They're like, hey, we hear you're a nerd.

Tell us about computers. And it's like, yeah, I'm going to make that really funny. It's 7 o'clock in the morning. You do know a lot about computers, though, right? Yeah, I've been an IT professional for over eight years. You could not have said that. Any nerdier, so dressed like that. Oh, I've been an IT professional for over eight years.

IT professional actually is originally a dinosaur that ran around. God damn it. It kind of does if you stare at the IT professional for long enough. If you ever stare at the word librarian for too long, you forget what it means.

You know, it's like three in the morning and you hate your life because no one will talk to you because you're a nerd. So, Kyle... You're on the road right now doing shows. Do a joke, Kyle.

Is that still... What's your favorite joke to do? Waffle it over here, Doug. Thanks. Is that part of your road schedule? Is it going to matinees of movies? Like it's a comedian cliche that we do that? I saw a movie.

This is going to be perfect. No, this is a big thing. This is not fair. It hasn't been since Iron Man 2. I saw the Facebook movie. Social Network. Social Network. You saw it like yesterday or the day before?

Two days ago. Two days ago. And. It's recent for me. And. Did you like it? Your thoughts. Graham and I have not seen it.

Did you see it, Graham? No, I'm going to see it tomorrow and then talk about it. I'll never see it. Is there stuff I can talk about? Well, it's a real thing, so you know how it ends. But it's still, in the end of it, it's still just. It's a documentary. You know how it ends but it's still in the end of it it's still just a documentary it ends with like the creator of myspace like murdering the friend stir in my space guys just fucking put their heads together but the BAM and they just I don't want to ruin the twist The Friendster and MySpace guys

Just fucking put their heads together And they just fucking dual suicide Well that'd be a murder suicide I'm sorry Was it the next Citizen Kane? It was a good movie But in the end it's still like Still millionaires

Billionaires I feel no sympathy for any of these characters. But even in the end, even when the main Zuckerberg guy, who's just a dick. I think they try to portray him as not a dick. He's a dick. And then he's still a billionaire. And he's the youngest billionaire.

But he had a couple of rough years because he was an asshole with some friends. And I just gave this whole thing 11 bucks or whatever over at Webster Place. Did you see it in IMAX? No. 3D? Were you high when you saw it?

See, it sounds like, yeah, exactly. That's the third question. It sounds like you saw it wrong. If you'd have been high watching it in IMAX and 3D, then you probably would have loved it. I saw the movie wrong. I've been doing it wrong. That's what people try to tell me about a couple of recent hits. Yeah, have you seen Inception a second time

yet, Doug? I still haven't gotten around to it because I didn't like it the first time. But I do want to see it again because I do respect that a lot of people like it and I should give it another try. But Graham, you and I like to joke around about the little short

descriptions that sometimes you'll see on tv tv on uh on tv or tv guide channel so they need to describe a movie quickly and uh sometimes they don't do a very good job of it. Sometimes it's just weird, right? Right. Lengthy setup to my joke. I love it when they'll take an amazing classic film that's very complex and they boil it down to one sentence that if you didn't know anything about this movie, it would make

no fucking sense after you looked at the one sentence and watched the movie. It'd, like, no fucking sense after you looked at the one sentence and watched the movie. It'd be like, a boy returns home from the war to take over

his family's business. The Godfather. I thought you were going to throw some of yours in. Okay, I got one. I got one. Hang on.

Two ladies visit the bottom of the Grand Canyon, Thelma and Louise. You spend a long time waiting for that to happen when you're watching that movie, too. When are they going to go on vacation? When are they going? They're just, they're all. This is really stressful. I know. They seem really mad. There's guns and everyone's fucking with them. Like, to go on vacation? When are they going? They're just, they're all. This is really stressful. I know. They seem really mad and there's guns and everyone's fucking with them.

Like, just go on vacation. Oh, a factory worker helps get people jobs. Schindler's List. He did do that in that movie. He did. That's real. That was the scheme. That's how they.

A young man learns to use his other hand. Empire strikes back. A doctor gives out cooking tips. Silence of the lambs. You boys chime in if you got any. I saw one today, it was a rhyming one for Transamerica It was a gentle and tender gender bender For Transamerica It really said that?

Yeah Tender gender bender Yeah My favorite ever description, like TV guide For sitcoms, when they describe plot, it's always so short. And my favorite one ever was one time it said, cheers, Cliff hires an ape. Did you need more than that to watch that episode? No, but it's so funny that it's just like, well, yeah, of course, yeah, Cliff.

You hire apes. Makes sense. You need an ape, you fucking hire him. Open up the yellow pages and look for ape. It's right there in the beginning. Alright, so on Comcast DVR, the description for the movie Surrogates

was, uh, Bruce Willis wishes he had his own body back in a world full of pretty people. I was like, well... Unintentional swipe at Bruce, I think. Well, that's what I've noticed, too. I don't know if they have it here, but in L.A., I've got Time Warner Cable,

and now some fucko at Time Warner Cable has started to put his or her opinions in the one like that. Like, who the fuck are you? Like a comedic send up and then it's like Como failed a little bit with it. What the fuck up?

A mildly amusing tale. Yeah, exactly. Hey, asshole. Don't you want me to use your cable? Just make it start and stop at the right time, fucknut. I think on Comcast, Super Jaime says two stars. Oh, fuck you, Comcast.

Well, I'm just saying. No, you're fucking Comcast. Fuck you. Might have been in a dream. I don't know. But two stars. But then the review is, you know, Doug Benson stars in a hilarious documentary.

Like, they call it hilarious, but they only gave it two stars. It's like, well, throw in some line about something to explain why you didn't give it four. Hilarious sounds good. That sounds like a perfect movie to me. But Comcast is in charge of the stars. Yeah, why are they? They're just presenting the facts.

And they're trying to help you out. We know it only got two stars, but give it a shot. I love the idea that Comcast is like this hyper-journalism where they're not even, like, stating an opinion. They're like, look, we're like that guy from Marvel Comics who just stands on the moon. Like, we're just stating what? What is it?

The Watcher. The Watcher, yeah. Like, they're just. Nerds. We could just do like... You know how bands can do a song and then they can skip some words and put the microphone out and the audience can say them?

We could just set up our nerdy premises. Just stick the microphone out and everyone will yell out. Here's another one. A long boat trip. No, not Castaway or Titanic. Amistad. Amistad.

So, what do you say we play a little Build-a-title This is the very exciting game That has really no point to it Where Oh I'm reminding myself on this piece of paper if you guys can take pictures of us

if anyone is in a seat that can get a shot of all four of us in frame and the zany sign and the AV club in Chicago if you can do it, take a picture and then send it to me on Twitter or MySpace or something

Graham, it's supposed to be natural. It's not supposed to be. This is my natural face, Doug. You're not supposed to make a crazy pose. I'm not posing. I'm always thumbs up. This isn't the cover of Comedians Gotta Boo Boo. You got your chapstick on just for this photo.

Are you really putting chapstick on right now? Yeah. Hang on. He's not ready. Put your cameras away. He's got to chap it up. I'm not doing it for the photo. My lips are dry.

I want to glean. That would be a weird photo. You just chapping up your lips. All right, so tweet those to me. I'll pick my favorite one, and we'll make it the album cover on iTunes because you know since you guys paid to get in tonight

everyone to listen to it is going to have to pay two bucks or a dollar ninety nine and yeah works out pretty good two bucks yeah it's just one guy probably couldn't even hear it on the podcast

it's just the one guy it's the guy Pizzeria Uno alright so probably couldn't even hear it on the podcast. It's just the one guy. It's just the guy. Pizzeria Uno. All right, so that's the Chicago way. It's a pizza town. Don't say that. I thought that was the description of do the right thing. Boom!

Nice! Nice! Delicious pizza on a hot afternoon. Nice. Delicious pizza on a hot afternoon. Hey. Vandalism starts some shit. Do the right thing.

All right. So let's play build a title. I've got a suggestion from Twitter from someone named Amy J. Nuke N-E-W-K in honor of the John Lithgow episode that just happened. Yeah. That was a good one, right?

He was everything that I hoped he would be. He was just gregarious and he didn't mind the swearing and he you could ask him to do lines from his movies, and he just did them without a lot of unnecessary buildup. Did he do anything from Garp? I loved him in Garp when he played Roberta.

He did. He said something that Roberta said, but I forgot what it was. So great, Garp. But he did lines from a bunch of the movies. I wanted him to do every single movie. Yeah, he was like an old puppet that I shoved my hand up his ass and was just like, let's go. Let's do this. If I'm ever in a movie,

I won't fuck that up next time. Don't you worry about it. There are no fuck-ups on this show. People just want something to listen to while they're on the treadmill or on the train or at work. I wasn't going to try to rat you guys out on that one, but

alright, if you own a business in Chicago, your employees are listening to my shit all day. So, hey, why are you listening to this right now? Okay, so the movie's Dreamgirls. We'll start with Graham

because he's played before. This is mainly for the audience, but walk us through the rules. It's all how it sounds, not how it's written, and you try to add a title to the beginning or the end of Dreamgirls of another motion picture, you know, made for TV movies. Okay, got it. So you have to start with girls or end with Dream, essentially. Dream, Girls, Girls, Girls.

That's a fucking real movie, you guys. Girls, Girls, Girls. That's an Elvis movie. Yeah, so settle down. Suck it. Graham, I think settle down was more appropriate than suck it. I'm sorry Alright So let's go down to Dan there

On the end What do you have to add To this Dream girls girls girls So essentially you're in the same position that Graham was in Yeah yeah yeah He didn't really change the landscape of things much. He just prolonged the agony.

I totally feel like he broke a rule. There's no... We don't have any rules against commas. Apparently we have rules against Elvis. There's got to be a movie just called American Dream or something. There's got to be.

There's American Dreams with a Z, but I will not take it. No, I'm inserting a Z. I'm familiar with the structure of this game, but I'm not able to pull. Everyone knows one for each end, right? Something that begins with girls.

That's like, as soon as you say the word girls, one of the movie titles just is the next thing you're going to probably say. Like, once you say the word girls One of the movie titles Just is the next thing You're gonna probably say Like Once you're already saying Girls Then you

I don't know about boys sir Or weird lady I can't see that far But Dan do you have anything It's really not worth agonizing over No I don't I don't

There's really no prizes Or No I don't have anything Any payoff's really not worth agonizing over. No, I don't. There's really no prizes or any payoff really whatsoever. Okay, so we'll go to Kyle. You're out, Dan. Dream girls, girls, girls just want to have fun. See, that's why you... Damn it. That's what you say after girls just want to have fun.

Dream girls, girls, girls just want to have fun Fun. Dream, Girls, Girls, Girls Just Want to Have Fun House. Wow, nicely done. Ba-boom. Hang on, you. Are you going to go? You're out. Who's out? I didn't know this was elimination.

Oh, am I up? You thought you could just miss it and then get some sort of free ride to the next round? I know a lot about dinosaurs. The rules... I'm an IT guy. The rules don't apply to me. I'm not sure how to pronounce these dinosaurs, but I know a lot about them.

All right, we're skipping you. It's no big deal. Just console yourself by looking at that large drawing of Sam Kinison screaming. Oh! You're out! That's how I feel right now.

Dinosaur! You're extinct like dinosaur! All you did was make Gasoline that pollutes the world I don't understand what Graham just said Okay Kyle Kinane I almost forgot my answer Dream girls

Do I have to say the whole thing? Sure Dream girls girls girls Just want to have fun house on Haunted Hill. Yeah. Ooh! Nice. That's what I was going to say if I were in front of you.

Wow, if you were still in it. Nice. Dude, that's fucking great. All right. What do you got, Graham? All right. Let's see what we got here. I've got a movie in my head that ends in dream.

Oh, fuck. So does that guy. And he's frustrated. Look at how he's like, God damn it, so do I. Let me play. Just let me play. So do I.

Don't yell it out, but does anybody have a movie that begins in hill? Okay, don't yell it out. Don't yell it out. Yeah. Dan, you're out. Quit trying to get back in. I'm not trying. I'm just lording it over you.

Oh, okay. Just do it. Come on, faggot. Come on, faggot. Where's your words? Where's your muscles now? I think I reversed that. I definitely remembered that you were the jock in this scenario halfway through my talk.

Yeah, you were like jock bullying me, and then you became like a nerd bully. That's because I can't flex my testosterone for more than five seconds before I go into defensive posture. You're like the nerd that got, you think, his ass kicked, and now takes like a bunch of karate classes and is like, it's payback time, football guy. Right, except it's not karate classes.

It's just me thinking alone in my room about how I can talk really loud. Graham, quit stalling. You don't have an answer. Just admit it. You got nothing. Ends in dream,

begins in hill. No, I do have something. It can't be hill, comma, hamburger. Fuck. Could he put a the in front of me? You can't move the words around. No. Those are just generally forgotten in this game.

Oh, that's so weird. Oh, yes. Okay. Dream, girls, girls, girls just want to have fun. House on haunted hill. Wait, I just had it. I lost it. Shit. Hill People. There's a movie called Hill People.

The Hill People. Let me look it up. Let me look it up. It's so close. No one's seen the Hill People. We're going to check with Len Malton on this one. I'm not going to just take your word for it. It's a movie called Hill People. Because he's so close to a really... Oh, my God. I can't say Hill...

Don't say it! No, I can't say it because it has an S. That's why I already knew those movies. Oh, that's a shit rule. No, you can add an S. You can add an S. That's totally a part of the game. You can add an S.

No, right? Yeah, you can totally break words apart and shit, right? Wait a second. Wait, because I want to. Yeah, you can totally break words apart and shit, right? Wait a second. No, you said hill people. Which sounds kind of racist. It could be racist, actually. Haunted Hills Have Eyes would have been acceptable. Oh, well then I'd say the Hills

Have Eyes. No, you don't. You're out, bitch. There's no way on this earth, there's no way I didn't know the Hills Have Eyes movies. There's no way. I couldn know the Hills Have Eyes movies. There's no way. I couldn't think of it. You know what you were going to say? Those deformed people Don't say it. Don't say it. Have identities.

Alright, so Kyle, do you have anything to add to Dream Girls Girls Girls? Just want to have fun house on Haunted Hill? It's Have Eyes. No way. There's no hill.

No, I meant, did you have your own thing to add to it? There is. That was my own thing, and then he blurted out after this hill people racist shit he's saying over here. It's very racist.

That's offensive to somebody somewhere. All of us. Let me tell you what, the hill people, they don't know how to fucking download a podcast. I'll tell you that right now. Well, someone just went, which is funny. There's a hill person in the audience. The hill people, they don't know how to fucking download a podcast. I'll tell you that right now.

Well, someone just switched his phone. There's a hill person in the audience. Someone just went, oh, darn it, that's a fighting word. I'm going to load up my musket. We're going to get him. That's exactly what it sounded like. The hill people is a real movie, correct? Oh, let me look.

That's going to change. You didn't even look. Well, we got all caught up in that Hills Advice shit. Wait, did you just call it The Hill People or just Hill People? You could take the the out. In all seriousness, I thought you couldn't add an S. Is there a movie called The Hill People? Yes.

You really think so? Yes. All right. A lot of skepticism coming from the audience. Folks, there's a lot of really horrifying, bad horror movies in the 70s that came out that all had stupid names like Funhouse and The Hill People. It says no results.

Oh. Oh. Maybe I spelled it wrong. How do you spell hill? There's no Z in there. It's at AT&T service. That's the problem. It's at 4G.

It's not working. No, no results for the hill people. Do you think it's just hill people with no the? Yeah. No, it isn't. All right. Well. Now I'm almost rooting for you.

That's why we don't play Build a Tile on every show, because that was another disastrous one. But it was kind of fun. I think I won. I would have. Kyle won, everybody. Yeah. Yay.

It's no prize. It's no prize. So just so I know, for future reference, though, you would have accepted The Hills Have Eyes. Yeah, because it's the house on Haunted Hills Have Eyes. Adding an S because it was Haunted Hill was the original title of the movie.

So you'd be adding an S to make it Hills Have Eyes. Yeah, because it's essentially the words just have to flow together when you say them out loud. It's just got to feel right like a good rap song. Well, then you know what?

Hill people fucking just feels right, brother. Just take your shirt off And just let it happen We gotta have some rules So yeah So No it's You'll get it someday

What's the dream What's the dream movie You had in your head Oh Dream a Little Dream Which again Puts the person Right back in the same place Where they have to end

In dreams There's also Requiem of a Dream Yeah That's. There's also Requiem of a Dream. Requiem for a dream. Dreams you can't do. That's the example. You can't go hoop dreams a little dream because then you're adding the S in.

But on the other end, when you say hills have eyes, it flows perfectly. And you're not just throwing an unnecessary S in there. Kurosawa. Kurosawa is I don't know if that's the name of a movie as much as it's the name of a director. Kurosawa movie Dream. Oh yeah, well that's just

one word so that doesn't do anybody any good. I wrote today on Twitter people send me, I said send me names for suggestions for build a title for tonight and people sent me one word titles as a suggestion for a starter word on this game. Rocky. Yeah.

It's just like, okay, well, we're done. Rocky 2. And Bullwinkle. And Bullwinkle. Oh. Oh. The adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. See, that's what fucks you up there.

Oh, dum-dum. I was feeling kind of cocky after I did that. You dumb dumb. All right, you guys, let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Let's do it. Let's quit fucking around. It's starting to get very serious up in here. And while I have the captive, while the listeners are captive, let me

just say don't forget to go to DougBensonTickets.com if you want to come see a taping of my new Comedy Central show, The Benson Interruption, sometime in October or November. Just go to DougBensonTickets.com and this is going to be a

very fun Leonard Maltin game. Let's start with Dan. Pick somebody in the audience that you would like to play for, and preferably, in fact, I demand that it's someone with a name tag. So pick out. They went to the trouble of putting their names on their phones or their chests. Outstanding. Or their heads or their necks.

There's an app for that. And some are holding. Oh, my God. People are holding up signs. Did you. There's an app for that. And some are holding... Oh, my God. People are holding up signs. Did you, Jacob... Oh, people are doing that. Did Jacob know he had a shitty seat when he made that sign?

Or was there a chance you were going to be the front row with a big obnoxious sign ruining it for everyone? I feel bad because my... That's awesome. My brother's in the audience and he's waving, but like...

Hey, Keith. That's the fucking hill people. Your brother's a hill person, man. You better win me some Leonard Bowden. He is a hill person. Mixed company, Graham. Jesus Christ. I will allow it.

You can play for him if you want. But one of the prizes is something I brought And I feel shitty given Oh that's weird yeah why do you want to win his record I'll give it He says he wants it I'll give it to you anyway I want to pick a stranger in the Spirit of the game

So you give your family for Christmas all your CDs and shit Cause that's what I do Cheap dicks So you give your family for Christmas all your CDs and shit? No. Because that's what I do. I get cheap dicks. Yeah. They all get copies of Comedians Gotta Boo Boo. You don't want that, Keith. You don't want that.

Wait a minute. You do not want Grim CD. You sound like you're insulting my comedy. Don't let you do that. The winner will also get a copy of Dan Telfer's Fossil record. Which is an album. The winner will also get a copy of Dan Telfer's Fossil record. Which is an album. And then my new-ish CD, DVD, Hypocritical Oath. Very good.

And Grams is in there. And I wasn't able to get a hold of Kyle so he could bring one, but I'm sure he would donate one in spirit. I'll burn a copy of his and give it to you. That sounds good. So, wow, people are lighting up their signs. So, Dan, who are you playing for? I'll go for George, who just lit it up.

Yay! Wow! It's like... And it's neon orange, too, which I was already seeing. Yeah, yeah, and then he lit it up with his phone. That was smart. Pyrotechnics, that's the way to get our attention. Kyle, who would you like to play for?

Oh, that guy's lighting himself on fire. That's not legal. I want to see who's got the furthest in the back. Ellen or Joan. You've made the same sign, same font. You guys decide who. Wow, fight it out.

Joan, shut up. Why don't you break a pool cue in half and whoever's alive gets to play. same font. You guys decide who. Wow. Fight it out, Joe. Why don't you break a pool cue in half and whoever's alive gets to play. Who wants to fuck? I'm playing for Joe. That was Dan Telfer podcast listeners? No, that was my Kyle impression.

That was your Kyle impression. That's not fair. Joan held her sign up longer. Okay, Joan. I'm playing for Joan back there. Joan. J-O-A-N. Joan? All right.

I'm going to have to go all the way back there to find out who she... I hope you win because I have to go all the way back there to find out who she wants to call a shithead if you lose. So, Graham, pick somebody close, please. All right. They got here earliest. I'm going to go with I just like these people who have

their names on an iPhone app. Show the rest of the audience. Hold it back so everyone can hear behind you. And now show it to the podcast listeners. Yeah, that didn't work, did it? All right, I'm going to play for Susie. Yay, Susie.

I almost went with the Kurosawa guy who came up with Dream, but then, you know, they got a cooler name tag. Sorry. Wow, that's a really weird. Why didn't you just shut up? All right, so Graham's playing for Susie, and Kyle is playing for Joan in the back. And Joan, if you lose, run up here so I can get your shithead,

because I don't want to come all the way back there. And Dan is playing for... George. George with the orange sign. George C and the orange sign. It looks like he's illegally taping this entire thing by holding his phone up. George.

You're not taping this, right? I wouldn't call it illegal as much as just kind of douchey. I'm going to eat a granola bar. You were just taping it because you're kind of a participant now, right? You weren't taping before that. Yeah, okay, cool. So we talked about you a little bit. You got something. That's good.

I just don't like when people put... Oh, hippie with his granola. My blood sugar's dropping. Okay. I want to be focused for Susie and her iPhone app. Me too, Joan. That was a beer bottle that was just lifted. Mr. Treadmill Man.

That's the Chicago way. Okay, so... Yes. We got our players, people that we're playing for, and Dan is doing some warm-up exercises. Yeah, yeah. I don't remember names and shit.

He really wants to win for George. No, I want to not embarrass myself like I did with Build-A-Title. No, I'm not really like... No, shut up. Dan, don't be jealous. Hey, let me ask you this. What do you have to pay for rent when you constantly live in the past? How much is that?

How much do they charge for that? It doesn't cost a lot, actually. I'm living pretty good. That's what I'm saying. Obviously, the rent's cheap, so that's why you do it. I can't think of any other reason. Okay. Don't listen to this podcast. Just beat yourself up some more.

Just walk away like it never happened. And every once in a while you get a text from somebody calling you something. Not a text. It didn't go that badly. Not a text. I'm not going to give them your number. It's area code. All right. But we'll start with you, Dan.

All right. Let's do this. All right. You know, I often ask... People on Twitter suggest categories sometimes. And I got this from Daydreamer Boy. Yeah. At Daydreamer Boy. Yeah.

Actors, actors directing is how that category goes. I like it. Then for the next category, past guest John Lithgow. His movies that we didn't get to when he was on the show. There were any left? It would have been good. And then motion pictures

that take place in Chicago. Ooh. I feel like I got to go with the motion pictures that take place in Chicago. Alright. Let's do it. High risk if you fail. I am the only one who lives here. But we're all

from here. Kyle, you're from here? Yeah, I'm the only one who doesn't know anything and I'm not playing. But I do know these movies. And they are from the following years. Pick a year. You want 1987, 1992,

or 1994? Please don't yell out when you know it. Let's do 1994. Okay. Seven Samurai. Somebody had a weird reaction. It was a weird reaction Ron You said 94 right Yes sir

How about you said 92 No I said 94 Leonard Maltin calls this movie a bomb On a scale of bomb to 4 Oh I like the way this is feeling Yeah Takes place in Chicago, of course. I'll give you a couple little snippets from the review.

Hopefully won't give it away completely. All right. Box office flop, he calls it. And he also says... He uses I won't say why but he uses the word gonads Okay so this is from 1994 He uses the word gonads And he said it was a flop

And he rated it a bomb And there are Nine names How many names do you think you can get it in? Dan Telfer. I can get it in five names. Nice opening bid. Graham Elwood. Four.

Kyle Kinane. I want to do three Life of the Party is the name of his CD and that's how he keeps the party it's available at astrecords.com I'm not going to correct him anymore

I always call it Life of the Party but it's Death of the Party but Death of the Party would have been a weird thing to say after you bidded three that was a good bid Dan what do you say do you say Kyle Kinane Death of the Party. But Death of the Party would have been a weird thing to say after you bidded three. That was a good bid. Dan, what do you say?

Do you say Kyle Kinane, Death of the Party, name that movie? I do say that. Kyle Kinane, Death of the Party, name that movie. Alright, okay, here we go. Would you like the clues again, Kyle? Would you like the clues again? Gonads, Bomb,

94, and Chicago. Okay, I'll give it to you again. Not a good movie with the word gonad in the review. Here's your three names. Eddie Bracken was in this movie. John Neville. And then your third name.

John Neville's in the audience. Your third name. All I know are the Neville brothers. I know. Yes. I'm going to get some more extra work finally. Huge John Neville family. Yes.

We're in Chicago. Wouldn't it be great if a bunch of people on the bottom of the list were in the audience and were like, holy shit, John Neville just blew his nose. This is a pretty good cast

they have here because then the third name is Fred Dalton Thompson. Somebody went, ooh, on that one. I love that name is Fred Dalton Thompson. Somebody went ooh on that one. I love that this is a weird noise crowd. So those are your three names, Kyle. What do you think? I think I'm shit

on a look. Did you already have some sort of idea or were you hoping the names would trip it? I was hoping the names would trip it. Yeah, those are shitty names. Yeah. Aaron Neville. Shitty, shitty names would trip it. Yeah, those are shitty names. Yeah. Aaron Neville. Shitty, shitty names. No, John Neville.

John Neville. I'm pretty sure it was Aaron Neville, though. Brackenridge. I don't know what was in these things. What was that big, expensive Terry Gilliam movie? Oh, Don Juan movie? No, the one that... 12 Monkeys? Huh?

John Neville was Baron Munchausen. Baron Munchausen, see? Oh. Yeah. He was Baron Munchausen Baron Munchausen, see Oh He was Baron Munchausen? Yeah, the real Baron Munchausen Yeah, they based it on John Neville The guy who acts under the name John Neville But is really Baron Munchausen

See, now you said Neville so much All I'm hearing is the Ave Maria At the end of the plane crash movie. Alive. That's all that's in my head right now is the end of Alive with the helicopter shot around the statue. I used to have a bit about the movie Alive.

I'd go, that would have been a much shorter movie if they had weed on that plane. Okay, so you don't know what it is, Kyle? I want some butt jerky now. That's what I would say, but I didn't say it like an 11-year-old.

I want... What kind of... My guess... My guess would be that movie that came out with... It was... Yeah, that one.

If I guess... Well, if I guess it, we'll screw things up for the other players, other actors. What do you mean? No, you... No, you'll just lose. I already lost. If I guess it, well, if I guess it, well, it screwed things up for the other players, other actors. What do you mean? No, you'll just lose. I already lost.

You've got to get it right. You need this. So guess a movie title. I don't remember. It's the one with Kevin Bacon where there's a ghost. Oh, that was like 98. Stir of Echoes. Yeah, yeah.

That's not it. Of course it's not. I'm glad you had to narrow it down to that based on all the information. Is this Candyman? No. You guys, it's crazy what it is. Hero? No.

People in the audience are trying to guess. I'll say the rest of the names and yell it out as soon as you know it. Cynthia Nixon, Brian Haley, Joe Pantoliano. Oh, my. Joey Pants. Oh, my. Joey Pants. Oh, fucking. Babies Lost in the City, whatever the fuck that one is. Babies Lost in the City.

Oh, yeah. That's right. That was in Chicago? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, what was it? This would have maybe given it away when I got to Jacob and Adam Morton. Yeah. Or Wharton.

Someone in the audience is in that movie. Yeah! You guys are fired. Let's have her on for the rest of the show. I know. It's fucking happening. Ladies and gentlemen,

Lisa Neville. Yeah. So someone in the audience is yelling out, I'm in that movie. So what did you do in the movie? You were like an extra?

Yeah, I screamed at a monkey. You screamed? Monkey! That was a big subplot. Did you hire the monkey? Like Cliff from Cheers and you're disappointed and it's poor work ethic?

What do you do? You pull up to a street corner and a bunch of monkeys are just waiting for a gig for the day? Alright. Yeah, that was a day laborer's joke and it was very offensive. Monkeys standing around like a bunch of hill people.

I was just going to make a hill people joke. I was just going to make a hill people joke. That was gorgeous, sir. You guys were in a race for racism. I know. How come they never have any of those? Oh yeah, they do. It's called NASCAR.

Oh! Boo! No Benson, everybody! And I don't even, like, I'm not anti-NASCAR at all. I don't have a problem with it at all. I think it sounds awesome to go see something where a vehicle might land on you in the stands and you lose your life for no reason.

But there's air conditioning in here, so my notes keep blowing on the floor. So that's why there's a pause in the action. Let me check the time. I think this show's going long. No, we're in good shape. Yeah, you guys are all right. Does anybody have to work tomorrow? All right.

Just quietly leave if you do. If you've had enough, please leave. Yeah, the Neville sisters got to go yell at some monkeys. You fucking monkeys, get out of here. So who told Kyle To name that movie

Dan did So Dan gets the point We And I've redeemed myself But since Graham Was not a part of that skirmish He gets to go first

This next time And here are your Category choices Would you like Tony Curtis Rest in peace Cause he passed away recently and someone in the audience

just made a fart noise about that that is that is not that is not the level of respect I was hoping that the name Tony Curtis would

that means something different in Chicago okay oh yeah that's that's a sign of a different Chicago that means I just ate a really big pizza

in his honor God bless your heart buddy thanks pal he was a good apple That means I just ate a really big pizza in his honor. God bless your heart, buddy. Thanks, pal. He was a good apple. Raising old style for his fucking mope, all right? Are we good? Can I talk? Yeah.

Sometimes I don't know when a bit's going to end. I don't want to cut off the funny. Sometimes I don't know when a bit's going to end. I don't want to cut off the funny. It's Elisa Silverstone's birthday today on the 4th of October. Elisa Silverstone movies. So we got Tony Curtis, dead. Elisa Silverstone, alive.

Or for your third category, movies that feature great teachers because I was inspired to invent that category because of Waiting for Superman, which I think is a movie everybody should see and form their own opinion. So it's a movie about teachers. It doesn't have some teacher.

It's about a teacher, yeah. It's got a teacher in it. I'll go with the teachers category. Okay, good call. Would you like... Oh, Chicago, we like our teachers. You're going to get farted up for the teachers, huh? Good call Would you like No in Chicago We like our teachers You know

Fired it up for the teachers Huh Rahm Emanuel Rahm Emanuel's in town Going around Telling you guys Why he should be mayor Do you like that idea

Listening tour Yeah he's on a listening tour Not He's not Sometimes he goes on The yelling the word Fuck tour And then But other days He's listening listening tour. Sometimes he goes on the yelling the word fuck tour. But other days

he's listening. He just listens. Maybe he mutters it to himself under his breath. We need more cops. Oh, fuck. Learning new swear words. I can't be mayor of this shit. They need more cops. How do I do that? What do I do? Make some phone calls?

Who can I yell the f-word at that'll get me more cops I don't know I like the intensity of the guy I think he would fit it fit in as a as the mayor here but I don't know maybe that's just me you guys you guys get to vote I don't get yes the, this guy... The Kurosawa guy's like, nope. Yeah. You guys get to vote, and please, by all means, do so. Vote early and often. That's against the rules, Grant.

No, that's... Okay, not Chicago. You didn't get that. Yeah. That is Chicago. Rich Daly, the old man. That's how he said it back in the day when he was night-sticking hippies

that were fucking up the old man. That's how he said it back in the day when he was night-sticking hippies that were fucking up the goddamn convention. If there's anything where you can't choose who to vote for, just write in Blagojevich. That'll be a news story if he got some votes. That's right. Okay, 1987, 1989, or 2007. Which year would you like for a great teacher movie? Okay 1987 1989 Or 2007 Which year would you like For a great teacher movie

80 Not a great movie necessarily Yeah yeah 89 Okay Somebody People always Cheer for certain years I don't get it

Leonard gives this movie Three stars From 1989 I think it's about right I might give it a little more. I haven't seen it in a long time. He says that the lead actor is charismatic as a teacher. And he also says that the screenplay for the movie won an Oscar,

presumably for best screenplay. It's weird when a screenplay wins an Oscar for makeup. And there are... 11 names. How many names do you think you can get in Graham Elwood? Seven. Bold opening bid. We'll go down to Danny T.

Danny Telford is next. I don't want to win by doing the same cheap blow twice. What could you possibly do? You can't say name that movie. Seven names, he'll get it. I know, I know. You think he will? Yeah, so just bid one number lower. I'll do six. I'll do six names know i know so what do you think you will yeah so just bid one

number lower six i'll do six names yeah see what i'm saying name that name that movie dan nicely played uh do you want the clues again yes please 89 three stars charismatic Charismatic Won an Oscar for screenplay Here are your six names Laura Flynn Boyle Oh fuck She's semi-famous And she's at the bottom Kurtwood Smith Norman Lloyd

James Waterston Al Ruggiero Somebody's got it from that That's crazy Don't yell it out And Dylan Kuzman The great Dylan Kuzman There's five names remaining after that

And I'd say the next one's no help But then the remaining four are pretty powerful names Okay But some people know it already, which is awesome. Oh, what is that one movie? Oh, yeah, that one. That was a rhetorical question

to the muses that are portraying me right now. This game's very, it's not easy, and especially in front of people. Yeah, I know. Because this is one of those things where I think I know what it is, but I don't know what the name of the movie is. Oh, okay. Well, then you're probably out of luck then.

Yeah. That's what we're going for. We're not looking for... I guess you could describe the movie, but I don't think that would necessarily be fair. And I think I'm just going to... Maybe... Sick granola could not be out of it.

You could just excuse yourself. You could just leave maybe you could just excuse yourself you could just leave you could just walk out of here in shame no I won't do that guess something I know this is off

by at least five years but I'll say school ties see you picked a movie with a great teacher and you were wrong but still what was it the person in the audience

that got so excited at Ruggiero? What? No, it's not stand and deliver. It's not lean on me either. It's Dead Poets Society. That's what I thought it was! Why don't you just say what you think it is? I couldn't fucking remember what Dead Poets Society was called.

I was like, it's a fucking movie where they're running around in Elfie costumes. And they got a secret cave where they feel sorry for themselves. And Robin Williams yells at people. Well, I hope you have one of those, Dan, because you are going to spend the night there. I do, actually. It's time to go sleep in your shame cave. Go to your remorse hole Where there are some cupcakes waiting

Yay Okay so that's point for Kyle Point for Dan Graham Elwood needs a big strong comeback here I know And since you weren't in that skirmish either You get to start again Let's do it

Let's go with these categories. Would you like In Theaters Now? It's a very popular category. Movies that are in theaters now. Leonard doesn't even give them a rating because they're in theaters now. He's that kind of guy. I don't know why he doesn't.

But anyway. And then of course we got past guest John Lithgow. And this is a really tough one. Arthur Penn, rest in peace. Great director Arthur Penn died recently also. So which one of those would you like, Graham? In theaters now. Here we go.

Graham loves in theaters now. When we play this at my shows all around the country, He comes up on stage and he takes on people in the audience and he loves this category because it makes people overly cocky. It's not easy. Would you like a movie from now, now, or now? I will go now. Okay.

Let me pick one. I'm going to go with this one. Seems interesting. Okay, this movie's from now. Got it. Let me pick out something that Leonard says about it. He writes kind of a long review, so I kind of have to cruise through

and find something that's not going to give anything away or not give too much away. Oh, Leonard says, I won't reveal more of the story, which is credited to two screenwriters. And then he goes on to say, all of this is presented in a handsome, high-energy production. Yeah, the clues often make it harder.

And you have nine names to try to guess this movie, Graham Elwood. What do you think? Eight. Dan. I knew it was six. Six says Dan.

What's Kyle going gonna do with this? You can say five Or you can You can go lower I don't want to say five Somebody in the audience wants to go negative two You guys are such pussies You want to cut to the quick that

Say five say five You're gonna go five? Five Name that movie Alright Here we go Fuck yeah buddy would you like the clues again sir high energy package boom look at my high energy package yeah it was something like that it's credited to two screenwriters and len doesn't want to reveal too much of the story. You get five names, and they are

John Bedford Lloyd, Austin Pendleton. Boston Pendleton? Austin Pendleton. That's like a dog or something. I love that guy. That's a Chicago actor. I love that guy.

He's great. He plays Burnsy in What's Up, Doc? Frank Langella, Susan Sarandon it's her birthday too I think and she got divorced she was never married

happy birthday or whatever they split and Eli Wallach is your fifth name oh man I thought you were giving away the ending. Somebody asked me, that's the closer, and I was like, no, that's that Keira Sedgwick show. You mean the one that's the giveaway name,

you think? All right. I like the way you guys think. It's out now. Kyle doesn't look too confident. No. Well, you know what you can do in this case is you can guess the name of a movie that's out now. Kyle doesn't look too confident. No. Well, you know what you can do in this case is you can guess the name of a movie that's out now. And you might get lucky.

Dead Poets Society. I had Stand and Deliver on that one. That's the only one I know of. Right, right. Great teacher movie. They made us watch it in school. It was in there, too. In place of a good teacher,

they'd make a movie about good teachers. Pick something. Watch Edward J. Molling KK. Can you turn these kids around? I saw the Facebook one.

Those people weren't in that. Yeah, and they weren't In Iron Man 2 I got one Yeah the last Two movies I've seen

This year Yeah what movie Do you wish Susan Sarandon was in It's not Jackass 3D That hasn't opened yet I got a real Limited palette

Let's go Is there something about Can I just really quick say Can I get another vodka and tonic When somebody gets a chance Is there anything about R&B groups out right now That's who you think those people would be in Yeah like what was that one

Frank Langella would be great in R&B Yeah he's like an old These girls have it And Susan Trandon's like an old show girl Like let me show you the moves. That's it. He's right there. You really are getting warm.

That's what hip-hop movies are about. So you don't have any idea? Oh, shit, no guess. Stomp the Yard 2. I don't know. Go for it. All right. Stomp the Yard 3D, please.

Can I say it? Respect. Can I say it? Does. Can I say it? Does Graham Elwood know it? Wall Street money that does not sleep. Yep. Money never sleeps. Not money does not sleep.

Money has a hard time sleeping and has to take pills. Money needs to take some valerian root, which is a hippie alternative to the harder pharmaceutical sleeping aids. I know this because I'm a hippie. All right. So since you didn't get that, which is a hippie alternative to the harder pharmaceutical sleeping aids. I know this because I'm a hippie. All right, so since you didn't get that, Graham got a point.

We have a three-way tie, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, shit. Oh, all right. This is exciting. I love when the bonus episodes are this exciting. Now, Graham,

let's remind everybody. Oh, thank you so much. Another beverage. Also, applaud the wait staff. Yeah. And tip them. Yeah, tip them as well. They can't feed their crack babies with applause.

That was a weird compliment. Just trying to help. That gentleman's going to donate right now. The guy got up. This is exciting. Alright, so Graham got the point. Who wasn't involved in that skirmish? Dan? Okay, so Dan gets to start us off.

Next point wins, correct? Yeah, this is intense. And you will win for Graham. Who are you playing for? Susie. And then you will win for Graham. Who are you playing for? Susie. Susie. And then Kyle is playing for June. And Dan is playing for George. Yeah, yeah.

My memory's not that bad. Okay. Past guest John Lithgow? Or Chicago? Or Alicia Silverstone? Let's go John Lithgow. Okay. I don't know why you said that.

No. I have no response to that. Okay. Do you want a movie from 1983, 1984, or 2009 that has John Lithgow involved in some sort of role. Let's go 83.

83, okay. All the way back there. Let's keep our comments quiet or not make any. Please choose the latter. Two and a half stars. Oh. Yeah.

Probably accurate. Probably. That's about right. I'll ask Iwatsu. It's uneven, the movie. I'll say that. And then Lithgow's in it. And he says that he cites Lithgow specifically

As being Good And he says that That Wow this is hard It's just got names all over it He says the first part He says that the beginning of the movie is entertaining

Okay so Those are weird clues, I know. But everything else really gives it away. Okay, well, we know who one person is. And it's two and a half stars, and there are 13 names. And here's one more clue. The 13th name is someone who narrates. Oh, and it's 1983?

Mm-hmm. name is someone who narrates. Oh, and it's 1983? I can do it in eight names. You sounded super confident. Here's the thing. I already thought I knew what it was, but that actually hurt me. All right, Graham.

Zero. Ooh. You can't let that shit right, Graham. Zero. Ooh. Graham says zero names. You can't let that shit stand, Kyle. No, yeah. You can't just... Not only if he gets it right with zero names, if he gets this right, then that automatically puts him

in the next tournament of championships. What? Which is very exciting. Because he's won so many times? Championships that'll occur maybe a year or two from now. Because we're just starting out. We just had the last tournament of championships.

So, Kyle, your options, if you're not completely familiar with them. You can either say name that name or you can go into negative names. Negative one. He says negative one. So in order to get the point, if Dan says name that movie, you will have to name the top-billed star in the movie. You have to get it absolutely right. You sure?

Oh, I thought I could just name one of the guys. No, no. Well, because you just say Lin's guy. If I get negative one, I got an idea. Yeah, just whoever you think is top-billed. So then we go to Dan. You could go more negative names, or you could say name that movie.

If it's a movie I think it is, I could go... Joan, get ready to come up here. I could go negative three. But I smell blood in the water, and I just... I'm sorry, John. I gotta go for it. Kyle Kinane, please name that movie. All right.

So you have to name it and name the lead top-billed actor in it. Top-billed actor. This is tricky. So what's the movie? I want to say it's Twilight Zone, the movie. That's correct. Oh, man. But there were four different episodes in the movie.

There were. And there were a lot of different random stars in it. But which actor or actress got the absolute top billing in Twilight Zone, the movie? Somebody made the most pain noise. That sounded like you had a shit and a baby at the same time. Which is how I understand that's how it works, actually. Think about it, Kyle. Who was super famous back then?

Dan, don't taunt him. I know the sections of it. Yeah, there's a bunch of sections. Yeah, there's four sections and a prologue. Intertwining themes. Yeah, but out of... And there's a tone to it too. We need an answer. You may have just given it away with that.

We need an answer. Yeah, shut up, dude. Quit it. Top build as an answer. You may have just given it away with that. We need an answer. Yeah, shut up, dude. Yeah, quit it. Top build as an actor. Yeah. No, the top grip. The top guy that did the lights. Who's the first person's name got credit in the credits. Yeah.

But it could be an actor. Right in the very beginning in the car, Stephen King. Stephen King wasn't in the car in the beginning. It was Dan Aykroyd and Stephen King. No, it was Albert Brooks. Oh, fucking Albert Brooks. Yeah, but that's not the answer. Neither one of those.

I'm going to say John Lithgow. No, no. Burgess Meredith. Vic Morrow because he got cut in half. It's Vic Morrow, that's right. They gave it to him just because he died? On your sixth guess. No, he was a big star at the time. Just because he died, but he was in the first segment. He was the cut in half. It's Vic Morrow. That's right. They gave it to him just because he died? On your sixth guess. No, he was a big star at the time.

Just because he died. But he was in the first segment. He was the lead in it. So billing-wise, that would make sense. And he was a big star. The next person is Scoutman Crothers, who was in the Kick the Can segment. And then Bill Quinn. I forget what he did.

Selma Diamond. She was old. I would have said Vic Morrow. Kathleen Quinlan, who was the mom of the kid that said, you know, do what I say or I'll fucking put you out in the field. Burgess Meredith was a narrator.

Yeah. Susie, I had it. I was hoping the zero would scare him and he would just make me name it. But nice try, Kyle. And Dan is our winner.

So that means that means that George won something. So Susie and Joan, come over here to me and tell me who I should call a shithead. That was a great movie pick, by the way. That was really

nice tense. All three of us knew it. That was good business. Thanks, Graham. Oh, she wrote it down. That's awesome. Nicely done. Joan, write it down. Don't you have an F for that? Do you pronounce it like it seems like you'd pronounce it? Like Simon with an H?

The personal ones are weird. I'll try it. You could get killed. Do you guys have any plugs? Here comes Joan. Do you have anything you want plugged in? I'll be in New York City with Brian Posehn October 15th and 16th.

And yeah. I don't necessarily get any royalties from it but I was a co-writer on the new Mad Men Illustrated World book that's coming out. Get it because the main writer and editor and illustrator

is Dynamo who did the cover of my album and madmenyourself.com, and she's awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Nice. Give it a haircut, Dan. Nice work, Dan Telfer. Kyle Kinane, what's up with you?

I'm just out in the world, man. Yeah, just look for... Is there a KyleKinane.com? There is. Yeah, so go to that and see what he's up to. Go on YouTube and type in bunnies or rabbits. There's an animated video. What's it called though? Bunnies?

Type in bunnies or Kyle Kinane on YouTube and watch the cartoon about one of his babies. Just type in bunnies and see how long it takes before you get to mine. That would be the cutest afternoon you've ever had. It's the cutest afternoon you've ever had. Follow that, Graham. I hope your plugs are funnier.

I don't have anything that cute. Just go to ComedyFilmNerds.com, I'd say. Yes, ComedyFilmNerds.com. We have some Comedy Film Nerd fans here. We do a podcast every week that Doug and many other comedians have been on. And also, you know, GrahamElwood.com. You can get signed copies of my new CD, Hypocritical Oath,

through ComedyFilmNerds.com or you can buy them here tonight as you're leaving. And as I always say, Graham and I always stand by the door and meet everybody that wants to meet us and take pictures and autographs. And if you don't want to buy something,

it's totally cool because we're just happy that you're here. Really appreciate it. So that's, I think we're good then. So let's have a round of applause for my guests. Dan Telfer, Kyle Tanae, Graham Elwood

and author of My Year of Flops. Nathan Rabin was up here earlier. Check out that book. And as always, Austin Travers is a shithead. And Heather Shimon is a shithead. Yeah!