Doug Loves Movies - Live in Las Vegas

Episode Date: January 7, 2012

Recorded live at the The Louie Anderson Theater at Palace Station Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada on January 8th, 2012. Jason 'Mayhem' Miller, Todd Glass, and Graham Elwood guest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azod hopper kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. How'd you know I was going to say that? I might forget sometime. Say, hello, folks.

What's up, people? But no, it's hey, everybody. My name is Doug. I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the Louis Anderson Theater at the Palace Station in Las Vegas, Nevada on Sunday,

January 8th to Oceans 12! Very nice turnout. Do you guys have name tags? Do we have any name tags in the house? That guy's got a hat tag. That's awesome. Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. I believe that it is not that, but that's a good name tag.

Jacqueline over there with some crazy artwork. What's that name that's the Greece logo? Athena. With the logo from the movie Greece. We got some hearts over there. And some food. Somebody brought food?

A lot of times when I do Doug Loves Movies on the road, comedy clubs don't allow food in. So when somebody brings a cake as a name tag, they get told you can't bring that in there. But this place is cool. What's the food? Brownies.

Obvious choice, but I will still eat them. I will still eat your name tag if it is brownies. It's actually cake. It's actually cake. Dude, seriously. If you're going to sit here arguing about brownies or cake, you do not know what I'm all about. Let me ask you guys this.

Is anybody going on the Weezer Cruise that's here tonight? Nobody? Oh, shit. Really? It's not too late to climb on board. There's still opportunities to join us on an island in the sun, heb hep. Weezercruise.com. Since last I spoke, heb hep. Weezercruise.com. Since last I spoke, you listened,

I saw a motion picture called The Innkeepers, a good old-fashioned scary movie that's available on demand and in theaters on February 3rd, I think. And the director, Ty West, will be a guest on the show soon.

Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country this weekend is The Devil Inside. Haven't seen it. It can't be good. Number two movie in the country is Am I 4GP? I have seen it.

It is good. I love Simon Pegg. You love Simon Pegg. I love Simon Pegg. Are you kidding me? Who doesn't love Simon Pegg? Don't answer that. Simon Pegg. You love Simon Pegg. I love Simon Pegg. Are you kidding me? Who doesn't love Simon Pegg? Don't answer that. Simon Pegg is the best.

Future guests, past guests, Simon Pegg. Where was I? The number... Where was I before I got pegged? The number two movie in the country is MI4GP. I have seen it. It is good. So see MI4GP, not TDI.

This has been WTNT. My guests tonight are a regular on the show, a guest making a long-awaited return, two fellow podcasters, a pugilist, a local, and that's only three people, you guys, that fit all of those descriptions. Seriously, thank you for coming out to see this in Las Vegas on a Sunday night. I appreciate your continued patronage, and let's look into the prize bag.

The prize bag reveals more clues As to who is here What's in here? Oh, woot monkeys Yeah, you gotta bring woot monkeys To the road shows And when I say you, I mean me You gotta shoot one out into the crowd

Here we go You got to shoot one out into the crowd. Here we go. I hope I can do this. This is very complicated. I'm sitting in a stool with my cocktail between my legs, talking into a microphone, trying to shoot a monkey. So here we go. Oh, didn't go very far.

Who got it? Did it hit the floor? If it hits the floor, then you have to burn it. That's the rule. I got a couple of Weezer shirts in here. I got a Weezer CD called Hurley signed by all four members of the band. I've got Doug Loves Movies.

I mean, Doug Betts' Professional Humoridian CD. I've got two, this is awesome, coupons for a free buffet here at the Palace Station. Expires December 31st. That's called time. That's a lot of time to get your shit together and come enjoy.

It's called The Feast here at Palace Station. I hear it's a lot of time to get your shit together and come enjoy it's called The Feast here at Palace Station it's a terrific buffet did I mention Weezer t-shirts? Yes I did also one of the guests tonight brought some Tic Tacs I don't know what that's about somebody else brought a t-shirt that says

Palmstrike on it and somebody else has something that they will they're gonna tell you about whatever their prize is gonna be as soon as they get out here so let's bring my guests out onto the stage please give a big warm Las Vegas welcome to Jason mayhem Miller Graham Elwood and Todd glass to Jason Mayhem Miller, Graham Elwood, and Todd Glass. I drink your milkshake. I drink it up.

Hey, bro. Todd, I thought we were supposed to dress up, and I forgot my jacket. There just happened to be one in the dressing room. I don't know whose it is, but I grabbed it. I think that's Louis Anderson's jacket. Oh, shut the fuck up. It's a little snug on you. That's good.

That's good to open up with a hilarious jacket joke. You don't know the work That went into that I didn't want to look Like it was disrespectful So I said to Graham I go I don't want to Because I love Louie

And I go I don't want He goes no it's fine I was like fuck it bro Do it And I took it off I went no I don't want If Louie was here

I really respect Louie I wouldn't want him to think And then he goes pussy I'm like I'm fucking doing it Don't call me a pussy Yeah when When UFC fighter Calls you a pussy Yeah you do what he I'm fucking doing it. Don't call me a pussy. Yeah, when a UFC fighter calls you a pussy, you fucking...

But that's everyone. Anyone that isn't a UFC fighter or a Navy SEAL, like those are the only... The Navy SEAL is the only one you couldn't call a pussy. Anyone else, you'd be like, pussy. I'm a cop, pussy. I always call cops. I fight in a cage. Go fuck yourself.

That's what I do when I get pulled over I go, oh you know who gives tickets? Pussies Cop goes, I'm not a pussy, I go Dog, I hate to complain the minute I come out I'm not even You said For the podcast listeners, you said I go And then just made a face You didn't even say anything

So for the people listening, I say to the cop, pussies give tickets. And then the cop goes, he gives the facial expression like, well, I better not give you a ticket then because I'm not a pussy. There you go, you motherfuckers. This light, if there's anyone... That sounded a lot like your Phil

Donahue impression. Wait, this guy's not Phil Donahue? No, it's not. Oh, good. No, sorry. One thing real quick. When somebody's been hit in the head enough, you can tell them that Phil Donahue is on the podcast with them.

That's the only reason I fucking came. I mean, I really thought Phil was on the... That's cool. You're a good shiny silver medal. Todd does have a good point, though, that he's about to make. The lights are too hot up here. They're a little behind me. I was going to bake the fuck out

Oh Jesus, just got brighter That's better, that's a mad sound man He's like, oh you want, it's not perfect the way I did it How about that you fucking bastard Looks like the final scene From Close Encounters with the Spaceships Landing and playing that song

If this one could go completely off that would be great Oh the one right on you. Oh, God bless you. Thank you. Tony, is that Tony in the sound booth? Sure. Doug doesn't give a shit. I care about the people. I care about Tony. So far, this is going great.

I'm very happy with... I know. I'm happy with the whole thing. I really am. So, Todd, as I understand it, you stayed up late. Do you want that for me?

What's that? I asked if you could hold this for me. The whole show, like right here. Eh, it wasn't so good. Edit that out. There's no editing, so from now on, don't do shit like that.

I get a little nose pot before the show, if you know what I'm talking about. The only... Nose pot... What does that mean? Nose pot is never a good thing. If someone says, try this nose pot, it's probably not pot. It's got to be horrible. There's never a reason to put pot in your nose It's like a guy who does coke

But he doesn't want to admit it Because it sounds so dirty He goes I did a little nose pot They're like coke? He goes nose pot I think it's coke It's not coke I do nose pot

What the hell all your jokes are great What I do nose pot. What the hell? All your jokes are great? What? I did a little nose children's aspirin. Leave me alone. Todd, so you stayed up late last night on the nose pot. And, yeah, take that sweater off. You're fucking dying.

Everyone's taking their sweaters off. Suck it. Sorry. It's scary because he may have to rape me. You know what I mean? I've been thinking about it for like 15 out of 20 minutes. The other five.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's on and off. It comes in waves. Usually when you talk. You were saying? As soon as he starts speaking, you're like, I'm going to rape that guy. I'm going to fuck that guy's mouth so he'll shut up. God damn it.

I'm going to tap that fucker out quick. Let me ask the audience a quick question. Applaud if you're here thinking you came to see a stand-up show and you didn't know it was going to be a podcast taping. That's awesome quick question. Is there... Applaud if you're here thinking you came to see a stand-up show and you didn't know it was going to be a podcast taping. That's awesome. Okay.

One poor guy over there. You having fun yet? Fuck you, buddy. No, you'll have a good time. No, it's going to be fun. We're here, you know. We may as well have a good time.

Who is that supposed to be? Is that Phil Donahue with, like, a throat problem? You know what? People know who it is. They know who it is. So the people that don't, I don't... That's one of those shitty impressions that could be anyone where you have to say the name like, hey everybody, Ronald Reagan here.

Who's that? Will. I'm Will. I love Vegas impressions to go, hey, if you don't know who it is, then fuck you. I'm going to do this impression. Who wants to hear Cher? Hey, I'm Cher. Do you believe in life after love?

Love. Love. Okay, Graham. I really don't think I'm strong enough. Oh, Cher. Do you believe in love? So, Todd, you stayed up You stayed up late last night on the nose pot To watch a movie

I did, I wanted to be Because you felt obligated to see a movie Before being on Doug Lowe's movies And that's very admirable of you What movie did you watch? Well, I wanted to Because when I've been on the show in the past I always feel like I don't think I just don't see a lot of movies.

I thought, you know, watch a fucking movie. Do your homework. And so I saw, oh, shit. Nobody help him. Don't help him. Don't help him. Well, he helped me. What is the name of the movie you watched last night?

I hate to come at you with a stumper. I hate to be a Katie Couric gotcha journalist. Hey, I'm Katie Couric, everybody. Who wants an interview? That's good. That is a good impression. I think it's good. I want your groundlings.

Well, to tell you the truth, Doug, I'll give you what you want, but I will have to give it to you in an indirect way. Graham did just help me, but I did forget the movie today in the car. Not on purpose, but I said... It's not an easy title to remember because it's like, oh, they're descendants because they have this property. But it's not really a movie about descendants. Thank you. It's just about a family in crisis.

So today I asked Graham, I said, what was the... I forget names. Sometimes when I get nervous, I forget more. Like, I know his name in my head now. This morning, I said, who's the guy who got famous from ER? He goes, George Clooney. I go, oh, what was the movie he's in? And he said, The Descendant. I saw that last night. But it's not

the type... Do you talk about movies like that, or are you mostly sillier movies on this show? Man, you're sillier movies on this show? Man, you're going to suck at this game. I'm just going to tell you. Oh, shit. I thought I was going to be bad. I'm so glad I'm sitting next to you.

They brought me for a reason. But Graham, you told Todd all the strategy of the Leonard Mullen game. You drove out here together. Here's what I said. Every hour when we're in the car, Graham would say, do you know the Leonard? And then later he would go, do you know? I go, did Doug tell you when you're in the car with Tom?

I swear to God. And Graham goes, yes. I knew it because he tried to do it real casually. He'd be like, have you done that? So I saw that movie last night. It was extremely, I liked it a lot.

I thought it was really good. A few things I wasn't crazy about, but overall, that was fun, man. What were you crazy about in The Descendants? Just, no, you know what?

Well, maybe I'm stealing from Graham now. I think I really liked it. Graham said there were a few things he didn't like about it. I'm trying to, you know. Oh, you guys talked about it

and now you agree with him? I did agree with Graham. I fucking loved the movie. It's weird when a movie is that sad to say you loved it. But it was... I thought it was just unbelievably good. You like it or you don't like it? I loved it.

I thought the kid when they introduced him was a little too much of a character, of a Spicoli type character, but then I ended up liking the kid too. You know what I mean? Did anyone see the movie or am I the only one? Yeah, at first that character is a little off-putting,

but that's sort of the point is that George Clooney has to kind of put up with this fucking kid that's off-putting. It was hard for me to believe even comedically that he would put up with that

as much as he did. But other than that, I fucking, that movie was, it brought realness to another level. Like you got to match that. So I loved it. I thought it was great. It's weird. I was watching it with other people. I was so surprised. Two of them were girls.

I was fucking bawling. There's one scene where you laugh and cry. Not cry of joy. It makes you when she's in a coma and they're yelling at her because they're mad. I'm like, ha ha! I look over. The two girls aren't crying at all. I go,

I'm with fucking heartless whores hanging out with them. Like, nobody would watch that movie that has any emotion and not be fucking crying. I'm like, what's going on in your life

that you, you know, they're not crying. But anyway. They were probably busy texting or something. Yeah. That's what the young ladies

are doing these days. George Clooney is so hot. Hashtag. Hashtag George Clooney. Has these days George Clooney is so hot Hashtag Hashtag George Clooney Hashtag George Clooney is hot George Clooney's poony What? I don't know what a poony is But George Clooney definitely has one

Oh snap That makes no sense Todd what's your impression of George Clooney? You don't have a George Clooney impression Hello it's George Clooney I'm in Trafalgar Square I'm the prime minister I am What about Nobody's seen the Iron Lady yet

But like I have inside information from some British people that Margaret Thatcher was, you know, the C word. And this movie makes her, builds her up to be like the most amazing person ever. Because when Meryl Streep plays you, you're a pretty amazing person. Yeah. It's how it works out. She takes the C word out of you. We're not allowed to take that. person. Yeah. It's how it works out. She takes the C word out of you. Nicely crystallized

Graham Elwood. Graham Elwood stepped up with that. What are you doing down there, Tom? I'm a little hot sitting down. I want to stand up too if he's going to stand up. Yeah, stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down.

Wait. For the podcast listeners, I just sat up to sit down now. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Whatever you got to do. Wait. All right. For the podcast listeners, I just sat up and sit down. Oh, wait. Something like that. Keep us posted. Listen, Jason Mayhem. Miller.

Mayhem. Mayhem? Jason Mayhem. Can I get Jewish? Mayhem. Just call me Mayhem. Do people call you Mayhem? Yeah, everyone called me Mayhem. I think I called you that when we were hanging out.

Like, yay, Mayhem. And I was like, yay, Doug Mentzen's calling me Mayhem. I think I called you that when we were hanging out together. Like, yay, Mayhem! And I was like, yay, Doug Mentzen's called me Mayhem, yay! And I high-fived you. Yeah, alright, so I'm gonna call you Mayhem. Yeah, my friends call me Mayhem. Alright. My mom calls me Mayhem.

Your mom calls you Mayhem? Yeah, unfortunately. Bitch. Huh. Oh, my bad I'm sorry am I throwing a show off mayhem

get down here this instant mayhem no doesn't make sense mayhem Jason mayhem clean your room I know it's weird

whatever don't judge me I love you know I've asked Joe Rogan this very same question now I'm gonna point to point it at you As someone that's deep in the MMA, UFC world

Did you see Warrior? And what did you think of it? You know what? I did And I thought it was a really good movie However However! No, no, I thought it Here comes the mayhem!

Here's what, alright So as a fighter And I've lived a fighter's life And man, it's a life here comes the mayhem alright so as a fighter and I've lived a fighter's life and man it's a life it can be a crazy life I feel like they kind of poured it on with the story like the story was like they poured it on

what really saved it for me it was that it was so well acted all the guys like it was written for dumb, it was that it was so well acted. All the guys, like, I mean, it was written for dumb people, but I loved it. I loved it. Exactly. No, no, it was written, like, but, like, I mean, it was written in a way,

it was written in a perfect way to make the masses. And it was acted so good. You know what I mean? Like, it was written for the masses and acted so well. I thought it was a great movie. I suspended my disbelief a little bit and I wish it should have had way more box office success. What movie was Warriors?

It was a mixed martial arts movie. Who was the star of it? Joel Edgerton and Tom Hardy. Nick Nolte, who's now... Because the Academy members have probably not paid attention to a movie about fighting. Nick Nolte might get shut out of the Best Supporting Actor race, and that's frustrating to me because he was so good.

I wanted to ask you this, though, Mayhem. What was the thing that you were suspending your disbelief? The actual technical fighting of it or the stuff surrounding it? Well, actually, the stunts in the movie, the fighting looked real enough where I was like, okay, I'll suspend my disbelief a little bit. There's a couple crazy moves that have only been done one time or never done before. You know what I mean? Like movie fighting a little bit. But that wasn't what I was there for anyway.

I was there to see the story and the story to me was great. It was well written and the crazy part about it is that it didn't do huge box office and I don't know why. I was kind of angry about it.

They put it out in the second week of September which is a weird time to release anything. Thank you. Makes you look like you know what you're talking about. Thank you. Thank you look like you know what you're talking about. Thank you.

Thank you for saying that. Finally. Oh my god, I've been thinking that and you finally put it into words. You can always look smart. Somebody can be a nuclear physio... Physio... Thank you.

That's how I pronounce it. Physio. Thank you. That's how I pronounce it. Physicist. Thank you. Finally. Somebody had the courage to say it right. Nuclear Physicist. Thank you. Nuclear Physicist.

I had to get it out. Like anyone's going to, oh, he is smart. Nuclear Physicist. Physicist. That guy's a wordsmith. But Todd, seriously, if you're thinking about checking out another movie,

because now that you've seen one, you might want to see another. Warrior is really good. It's a good movie. It's really engaging. It's really... I mean, similar to the scenes with Nick Nolte.

I don't know why I just made him French. Nick Nolte. Oh, Nick Noltete Oh, Nick Nolte Oh, sure Nick Nolte Sacrebleu I loved you in blue chips, Nick Nolte

I'm sorry I was not there for you as a child But now I will train you for fight I guess now he's from the Middle East But I'm spanning the globe, folks I do accents The Prince of Tides. Fight. Get in the cage.

Fight. That was his training method. Get in the cage and fight. No, but the scenes between him and Joel Edgerton and Tom Hardy, those scenes, that's really awesome. Got me choked up a little bit. I was like, man, Nick Nolte's making me want to cry in the movie theater.

Like, I was like, felt like, you know, I had to like, suck it up, you know, like thug out a little bit.

Like, tense my whole body up and let that tear suck back into my head, you know? And then shoot someone sideways. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Tom Hardy, I think he's the new Marlon Brando. He is. I cannot wait to see him in the new Dark Knight film He's gonna be fucking

Yeah and speaking of the new Dark Knight film Dark Knight Rises plays Bane Oh he does play Bane Dude you gotta go to an IMAX theater I already was bro I popped a boner when they showed that preview You didn't know that was Tom Hardy though I didn't know

Cause he had them all I'm like what the fuck is he saying when they showed that preview. You didn't know that was Tom Hardy, though. I didn't know. But, you know, because he had them all... I'm like, what the fuck is he saying? What if that was a commercial that he just said? That's what they advertise. I popped a boner.

And then his name comes to... Critics are calling it My Dick Got Hard. You're going to want to titty fuck this film. You fat front row, you jizzed in your pants. It's for pearl necklaces, says... You got one?

Suck this movie's dick dry, folks. It's the strap-on dildo for the summer. If this movie had an ass, you'd fuck it. Said Todd Glass. Yeah, that was Todd Glass, everybody. Todd Glass. Bastard! Todd Glass said that.

Season one and three of Last Comer Standing. Todd Glass. that. Season one and three of Last Comic Standing. Todd Glass. Hey. Hey, you know, it's still, the money's still coming in. Is it? No. I get residual checks sometimes.

Like $22. What are you going to do, you know? Cash it. This guy's got some great advice out there Fucking slot machines right out there, motherfucker You get a check, fucking cash it, dude That's how I became so powerful On Wall Street in Las Vegas I do cash it

Sound financial advice When you have a check, cash it Don't fucking put it down like, what is this? Fucking cash it. Don't set it on fire. Cash it. Susie Orman, she gave me that advice. You ever hear people call that show?

Susie, I'm out of work. I'm unemployed. Can I buy a yacht? What do you think she's going to say? No, don't do it. I want to own a bowling alley, Susie. And I have a dollar. What's next?

Give me the steps. You have a dollar. Where do I go from here? Susie Orman, I've got a dollar. I want to stop rape. Where do I send my dollar? Vegas!

Put it in a slot machine. I don't know what you mean by that. I mean, I kind of know. So, I'm having fun. Yay! You're having fun? I'm having fun. Yay! You're having fun? I'm having fun!

Clearly, clearly, at least 20 of us are having fun. And that's the number I shoot for with every live show. Who cares about those other 140 people? As long as 20 of us are having a good time. That's all that matters. That guy wore a baseball hat. That guy wore one too, but he has a name tag on it So there's more of a reason

There's a lot of baseball hats here tonight The Todd Glass Show Downloaded on iTunes And now back to the Doug Benson Show I can't believe I didn't even know I was I didn't even know I was... That is awesome. I didn't even know I had commercials during my show.

You're my new hero. Oh, my God, Todd. That was amazing. Graham said before I got out of here, plug your shit. Fucking plug your shit. God damn it. GrahamElwood.com. I think what he meant by that...

Are we talking about ass-fucking again? Yeah, yeah. Speaking of ass-fucking, how about Graham fucking again? Yeah, yeah Speaking of ass fucking How about grandmelwood.com, folks? I'm just going to say it over and over Ass fucking, grandmelwood.com Titty farm at grandmelwood.com Cash that check at grandmelwood.com

Yeah, grandmelwood.com is a check cashing place, you guys Who goes there to cash your check? Cash check and loan advance? GrandElwood.com is a check-cashing place, you guys. Don't go there to cash your check. Cash check and loan advance? GrahamElwood.com. How do you spell Graham Elwood? G-R-A-H-A-M-E-L-W-O-O-D.com. That's right.

Mayhem Miller will come fight for you at GrahamElwood.com. Get tapped out at GrahamElwood.com. Ass-fucking. Ass-fucking at GrahamElwood.com Get tapped out at GrahamElwood.com Ass fucking at GrahamElwood.com What? Alright, let me just This is the part of the show where I have to remind the audience that yelling out is not is not what you're here to do. You're here to laugh or clap

or sit quietly in judgment. On the road shows, it's very important that I remind everybody that when we play the games later in the show, don't yell out the answers. That's right. Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't mean to be a turd in your punch bowl, but that's not what we're here to do. We're not here for the yelling out answers show. And I don't want to be a punch in your turd bowl.

Yeah. If you know what I mean. And I think you do. Dude, dude. What does that mean? You hide in someone's toilet and you just punch them in the butthole when they're taking a dump? Yeah. Motherfucker, tap out.

Boom. Can we get a pledge from you, Jason? You're the real of my work. Jason, I'd like a pledge from you, Jason? You're putting me on my work. Jason, I'd like a pledge from you right now that the next fight that you have, at some point during the ramp up to it, you threaten to punch their turd hole. Or turd bowl.

I don't know why I changed it to hole. You have to do that. I almost think the turd hole is better. You've improved upon it. Okay, I'm going to punch you in the turd hole. Say that to somebody. Yeah, straight face. When you guys are doing the stare down at the weigh in.

You think you're bad? I'm going to punch you in the turd hole. I think it works, bro. Dude, I would totally be like, all right, maybe we don't fight today. Maybe I tap out. This dude is weird. He's out of his mind.

I'm gone. I just want to rub my nipples with KY jelly. It's like, I'm going to punch you in the turd hole like this is what I would always when I watch those guys and they square them

I would think it would be great to just fucking do this like we're ready to fight the guy's giving us the fucking rule zone and I just go

oh fuck just like I'm fucking terrified wouldn't you think you'd get in the guy's head a little bit if you were just like oh Jesus

God and then turn to the ref he's so good. Or just like touch him on his chest like, oh, you're bigger than I thought. Jesus. You're bigger than I thought. Walk away. These are huge.

Fuck. I think you would win. Mental combat. What would really happen, Jason Mayhem? Oh, I feel like this is going to be something of my expertise. Please. What would really happen if somebody said to UFC Dana White, yeah, I'm going to come out to no song.

They would say, no, you're going to pick a fucking song. I think Dana White would call you up and say, hey, fuck you. He would just say, fuck you. I don't think a fighter could decide to just come out in silence. Which would be beautiful. I really think somebody just doing it like walking out and just a bunch of drunk people going, yeah, fuck, kill him, dude.

It's a cool moment in Warrior. I think it'd be great if you came out. It's not believable. I think if you came out to just somebody going, download Todd Glass' podcast on iTunes. That's a good idea, and I'm not even just saying that. No, I'm serious. I get it.

But could you pick any song you want? Yeah, well, they will tell you it sucks if it sucks. Can I pick your next song? I know you don't know that well. That would be great. A track from one of... Fight Unseen. Come out to a track from one of Todd's albums.

Yes. Yes. I like it. I'm not just saying it. What would be a good one, Todd? Do the bit and he'll walk out like a fighter. Okay. You ready?

My friends can always tell when I'm high. The other day I was driving down the street and I was driving through a shitty neighborhood and I saw a bird and I turned to my friend and I said, why would a bird live in a poor neighborhood? It's going to have to be a longer track. Are you ready? Are you ready? Let's get it on.

Let's get it on. I'm fucking psyched to fight right now. I feel like shadowboxing. How about if you came out to the Benning Hill theme? That would be fun. And all three of you guys were in bathrobes chasing me back and forth on the octagon.

And Doug Benson opens the door and then closes the door and then I'd be so into that. The whole thing, while we're running around but you're still being so fucking focused and ready to fight. And the guy's doing that thing where they're checking you and making sure you're just like, oh, you're corner guys.

You're like, fuck it. And while your corner guys are all fucking talking to you, we're just like... Yeah, yeah. That would be goddamn awesome. I thought Doug was leaving. Doug just left. Doug just left.

He walked off stage right. I was just putting my cocktail down, but if I could get another one, that'd be awesome. How about me? Enable me. Kettle, wine, and tonic. What are you drinking, Todd? Jack and Coke, double. Oh, that's going to come out of your paycheck, of which there isn't one.

So you're just going to have to pay for it. Fuck, I told Todd we were getting paid just to get him to come out here. Jesus, guys really got mad. Yeah, that's not right. Fuck you, Todd Glass is a legend. Cocksucker. It's the fucking check cashing table got all pissed off. Bullshit, man. We threw out someone who's going to check cashing table got all pissed off. Bullshit, man.

We threw out someone who's going to check some cashes. Cash some checks. Check some cash. Check make some cash. GrahamElwood.com Are you Brian Regan?

Best episode ever! It's this crowd. These motherfuckers. Look at all of them. They're so pretty. They're interesting looking. Don't take offense to that. I think they look good, actually,

on the ass kisser. No, it's a good-looking crowd. Some comedians do that. You know, it's like, all right, you're good-looking. Oh, my God. This is all right. Do your act.

Who am I to judge who's good-looking? Thank you. All right. All right. I mean, no thank you. All right. to judge who's good looking? Thank you. Alright, alright. I mean, no thank you. Alright, that didn't sound like me.

I like Todd saying, alright, do your act, like he was a person in the audience watching the comedy. No, I'm not good looking. We know we're ugly, do your fucking act. Yeah, right, we know, come on. Shut up, man. We didn't come here to be complimented. Insult us, you son of a bitch. I sat in the front row to get a little made fun of. What would the crowd say if they were

good looking and you told them that they were good looking? What would they say? Agreed. Agreed. Now do your act. Either way. It's like do your fucking act. Say something, talking monkey. Yeah, let's fucking do it. That's what we are, talking monkeys.

We're all talking monkeys. You're a punching monkey. You're a punching monkey. You're a punching, kicking monkey. Fuck it, bro. I just know that some kid is listening to this on his earphones with his iPod. He's clicking through his things. And he's just like, they're making monkey noises right now. What the fuck is that?

They're punching each other in the turd hole. No, it's like, Doug, somebody goes, you've got to listen. I've got to take my dick out. Jimmy, are you upstairs listening to Doug Benson's podcast and doing nose pot? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I, yeah. Oh, yeah. I want to be like you.

And ache like me. Can't learn to be human, too. All right, Todd, sit this one out. I already know the answer ladies and gentlemen Tony who works here Tony Tony

Tony did a fine job back there I already know I already know the answer Todd it's the Descendants but Jason

and Graham let's start with Jason what was your favorite movie of last year yeah wait what was it last year it's January it's a good time

to look back you're right here's my favorite movie from last year do Yeah, wait. What was it last year? Because it's January. It's a good time to look back. You're right. Here's my favorite movie from last year. Do you have a favorite one? Man. Did you see Win Win? Man, that was a fantastic movie.

Yeah, really good. You know what, though? For some reason, I didn't like... It didn't make me well up and it didn't make me feel really good at the end of it.

I felt like it was going to be like I felt great at the end of it, but I was like, he's got to work at a fucking bar. I was kind of bummed out about it. Spoiler! Kiss my ass. You should have watched the movie. But what did you like then?

What was your favorite from last year? I don't mean to put you on the spot. The only reason why I should have researched... Graham can answer if you need a little more time. You know what? Go through a couple of movies from last year. I don't mean to put you on the spot. No, no. The only reason why I should have researched... Graham could answer if you need a little more time. What happened... You know what? Go through a couple of movies from last year. Just give me a few.

And I'll remember what was there. I'll tell you my sort of top five or whatever. My favorite fun movie was a film called Super. My favorite... Yeah. My favorite Academy movie was a movie called Moneyball. And then I also enjoyed Win-Win, Bridesmaids, and Attack the Block was great. And there's 50-50.

Bam. You guys know me. Holy shit. I think I might have actually seen 50-50. What was that about? It's about people that are like, should I suck a dick or lick a vagina? I think I saw that. That's the movie poster.

Somebody with a dick and a vagina and they're just hands in the air like, I don't know. Graham Elwood just wasted a pantomime for the...

You guys got it. People take pictures, they put them online, I think. Oh, perfect. I don't know what movie. What do you think, Graham? What was your number one? Obviously, all the ones you listed, I really liked. I just saw My Week with Marilyn, which I really enjoyed.

That's good, but it's mostly because she's so good. Her performance is so good. The kid is good, too. And Branagh's great. Branagh does an amazing Olivier. She plays a great Sir Lawrence Olivier. So I don't know. I see so many movies that...

Oh, it's just a blur. I see a lot of movies. I'm better than most people because I have nothing but time. Yes, that's what it is. I throw Captain America in there. I had a lot of fun watching that movie. I throw Captain America in there. I had a lot of fun watching that movie. Oh, Captain America, nice.

Hey, you know what? I really liked last year and was shocked that I did. I went to see it kind of reluctantly. It was X-Men First Class. Yeah, that was good. Fucking fantastic movie. Yes. It's an enjoyable movie.

I felt really like I was in the period, because it was like a period piece superhero movie, as strange as that is. And I really enjoyed it. I got more of an experience out of it than I thought I would, especially because it's a superhero movie. I thought I wouldn't. I got wrapped up in the characters, and that's kind of strange. Not since Toy Story 3 did I get all like, I'm going to cry if this slinky dog falls down the fire pit.

Spoiler! Fuck! Someone yelled out the check, Cashew. Sorry, dude. Slinky dog falls down the fire pit and then the guy's like, put the lotion in the bathroom. Put the lotion in the marker.

It puts the lotion on the skin. Or else it gets out again. Did you ever see Silence of the Lambs, Todd? No. By the way, I've seen more movies. It's like on TBS all the time. I've seen bits and pieces of it.

By the way, I've seen more movies than it seems. I'm sitting here thinking, I see movies. I'm not that bad, but I just don't... Not one that you're talking about ever. But I'm not a moron. I like movies. I get it. I sound like someone that's uneducated.

Who doesn't see movies? They're part of our culture. But I don't know the movie. What movie did I see when I did your show? I saw a movie. The Descendants. It's so hard to get him to go. What movie did I see?

When he did comedy film. That time I went to the movies. What was it? Somebody help me. He was trying to get out of it. I was like, Todd, I just need you to see at least one movie before you come on. He had the map quested for me.

I was talking to my mom. Where are the movies? I don't know. I was like, well, mom, there's a cinema near your Pilates studio. Where are they, the movies? Where are the movies?

I can't find them. Well, you don't remember the movie I saw, so... I mean, you're the same as me in a way. I'm supposed to remember... Yeah, you're the fuck up, because you can't remember the one movie, Graham Elfman. The 50 guests we had on the show this year, I'm supposed to remember the one movie that Todd saw. MayhemMiller.com That's a good point, audience member.

Todd, was it Twilight? Twilight? Oh, no, it wasn't. What do you say? It's so confident. You're wrong. I swear to God, I'm looking at her. I started to doubt it. She goes, yes, it was Twilight. You know what it was. I was like, maybe she's right. She's so confident. It was Twilight.

I'm like, no, it wasn't. I didn't see Twilight. It was Breaking Dawn. You know it. Seriously, Todd. Don't be stupid. I don't remember. It was good.

I liked it. I like movies. Do you know the problem? You should have a podcast called Todd Glass Likes Movies. Todd Glass, I like movies. Occasionally. No, do you know why? And I think I've explained it on your show Why I don't go see movies a lot

I see them once they're out on video Because I have a hard time following movies So if I have to go with a friend That helps me I've talked about this on your show But let me say it real quick You might follow movies better If you didn't go on the nose pot

I've never done nose pot actually The truth of the matter being The truth of the matter being. But, um, so if I go see... You want to do something else? The truth of the matter being. Hello, Shakespeare. Henceforth, I will never do Nosepot. I remember as a young boy. Vis-a-vis.

Super Troopers I've seen. Yay! No, you didn't. It was Twilight. It was Twilight. You saw it was Twilight. Those cops were fighting werewolves. Shall we play a game or two? Yeah!

Hotglass.com Alright, we're going to start with Build a Title. Nothing's at stake. All right. We're going to start with build the title. And nothing's at stake except for the concept of fun. Don't lose fun, you guys. Please don't lose the fun. Just stick with the fun and everyone will be good. I got some titles, starter titles on Twitter.

And the first one was submitted by TR Lawrence at Twitter and the title that was submitted, we'll start with Graham and we'll go to Jason and then Todd. The title is The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. So Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,

can you add... What? Can you add to the beginning or the end of that, Graham Elwood? Beautiful girl? With the dragon tattoo? It was called Beautiful Girls. Sear out, Jason. Oh, fuck yourself. Bullshit. Ah-ha! Motherfucker!

Jason, you need a movie that ends with girl or begins with two. There's no movie that begins with tattoo. I got it. I got it. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Wong Fu.

Thanks for everything. Excellent. Julie Newmar. Alright, so we have girl with the dragon tattoo. Two. Wong Fu. Wong Fu. Thanks for Julie Newmar.

I fucked you. Girl with the dragon tattoo. Fucking two mules for sister Sarah. What did you say? God damn it. What did you say? Girl, girl. You're out, Graham.

Say it all again. No, no. Girl with the dragon tattoo. Wong Fu. Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. And one cent. I thought they did it on The Price is Right, just you had one cent. Or one dollar.

He gets to spin the big wheel now. In a funny way, it makes sense. I recently met the guy that went on The Price is Right and bidded $420 every time. And I was like, dude, that's a terrible bid. And he was like, yeah, I know. Wait, is that true? He did it?

Like, just, he didn't care if he won or lost? That's fucking awesome. That guy's great. What a man. Who is he? How did you meet him, dog? He's like the suicide bomber of that show. Like, fuck it, I'm just going out for weed rights, bro.

Legalize it. He's like the suicide bummer because... Deadmanson.com Because 420... That's not a thing. 420 is a terrible bid. But, alright, so Jason won that round. Alright, I got it.

We'll start with Graham again. You have five seconds to think, then you're out. Chew up that Kashi bar. God damn it. Yeah. Casey Meeks suggested Kiss of the Spider Woman. Graham Elwood t-shirts are available in the lobby of the theater after the show. Now back to Doug Loves Movies. That sounded like

a real announcement. That's amazing. Could you also tell us if they're doing a test of the alarm system? Ladies and gentlemen, please ignore the smoke smell. We're having difficulty with a fire in one of the rooms. Ballastation. Okay. smell we're having difficulty with a fire in one of the rooms palestation okay what's the title again the title is kiss kiss of the spider

woman so you need something ends a kiss or begins with woman woman jury and candidate all right we have kiss of the Spider Woman, Churian Candidate. Kiss of the... What is it? Kiss of the... What? Kiss of the Spider Woman, Churian Candidate.

Kiss of the Woman, Churian Candidate Night. Date night. So easy. It was too easy, though. I felt like I could have went harder. All right, we go to Todd Glass. Kiss of the spider woman durian candidate

night descendants alright you're out back to Graham Todd you had to ask me the name of that movie shut the fuck up

go sit down sit down no Doug's getting upset go Graham kiss of the spider woman durian candidate night of the Spider-Woman Churian Candidate Night of the

Living Dead. Alright, so we go to Jason. Kiss of the Spider-Woman Churian Candidate Night of the Living Dead. What? I got it. Quit quickly your wrapper in the microphone.

Graham. It's delicious. What are you eating? You're having snacks during the show? Yeah, this motherfucker's eating. I'm hungry. My blood sugar drops quick, man. I gotta stay on that shit.

Bro. You're checking your insulin levels? I don't want you to pass out or lose your feet. Man, you know what I mean. I'm on an all- a whole protein diet, bitch. Come on. I got to train later. Kiss of the Spider-Woman,

Churian Candidate, Night of the Living Dead. I'm not even... Spin? Dead Spin? Yeah, Dead Spin. It's a movie in... Is that a movie?

In Holland. Yeah, yeah. No, that's a movie. Someone Google that shit. Is that really a movie? I really feel like Dead Spin is a movie, right Holland. Someone Google that shit. Is that really a movie? I really feel like Deadspin is a movie, right? Maybe it's a comic book. I fucked it up. This guy's checking his phone.

GrahamElwood.com Graham gets a point. ToddGlass.com Who won the first point? I did. Okay, so we have a tie game. Tie it up, baby. J.M.Miller. And Todd is available as a spoiler.

So we'll start with Todd. Palace Station, known for our fine gambling casino, also a wonderful buffet. Talk about sushi and hand-rolled and plenty of it. Our delicious dessert bar is always available. Fresh-made cakes and pies and everything else. Prime rib, have as much as you like chicken. An Italian array of all types of food. Chinese food, all cuisines.

Going up to our buffet, three meals a day. Or whether you eat breakfast, lunch or dinner. You'll enjoy the Palastation Buffet. A fresh, clean alternative to other restaurants. ToddGlass.com They pipe that announcement into your room while you're trying to sleep. At three in the morning.

Palace Station. All right. We'll start with Todd on this one. Tally and Daisy suggested All Dogs Go to Heaven. So you have a movie that ends in all or begins with heaven, Todd? Of course you don't.

We go to Graham Elwood. For the win. All dogs go to Heaven's Gate. All dogs go to Heaven's Gate. All in the family. Mayhem. All in the family is a TV show, Todd. No, I think they made that into a movie, right?

I thought they made it into a movie. I'm pretty sure he said they did. Todd Glass is the Archie Bunker of not racist people. All right. Jason? Wait, I can't even remember. I'll recap it. All dogs go to heaven's gate.

So you need a movie that begins with gate or ends in all. Or a word that sounds like all. Don't look at me like that, bro. Graham Elwood is our winner. You could have gone and justice for all. I'm a jitter, man. You know?

I was just standing here like Eminem in 8 Mile holding the mic, sweating. It was like, it was terrible. Yeah, it's like a rap battle. I know. I felt like I just got dissed in the rap battle. It's a total rap battle. Yeah, it's like a rap battle. I know, I felt like I just got dissed in the rap battle.

It's a total rap battle. Put your hoodie on and let's go. Now it's time for me to breakdance. Oh my god. You got served. I did get served. Come on, don't point it out, nice girl. No, no, you got served.

No, no. Point of order, you got served. And it was Twilight. Therefore. He went to see Twilight. This is the part where listeners are going, why isn't Doug saying anything? Why would he let that go on?

Because I like fun. And that was. You know what else he likes? Big butts and he cannot deny. That's true. Seriously. My anaconda don't want none unless it's got buns, hun. You can do side beds or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt.

When a girl walks in with that itty-bitty waist and a rumbling in your face, you get sprung. When I pull up, tough because you don't have butt with stuff. Deep in the G she's wearing. I'm Pocetic ass up there and oh ladies. Doug Benson just dropped the microphone.

Even white boys got to shout. Oh! Baby does have back. This is probably their nicest microphone too. That was probably pretty. Man, like it did them. That was pretty uncool to drop their cordless mic like that. But, you know, you see a moment, you grab it. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game.

Let's do it! People love it. People brought name tags. Very creative community here in Las Vegas. Each of you... I love these people. We're in Vegas, dude. Please go out and pick out

the name tag that you would like to play for. Jason at Homeless. Janine. Full Throttle. Swiss Likes Cake. What is it? Smalls Likes Cake. Are you the mean girl? There's a hat. I just want to look at the

crowd. I like IMGD. That's a good one. IMGD. It's a good looking bunch. Oh, wait. There's a cupcake with this one. Do I get to keep the cupcake? Yeah, I think you'll get to keep the cupcake. Give me that cupcake. You're really smart. Does that have pot in it? No, does it really?

Okay. Well, I don't want it anymore No, does it really? Okay. No, you're going to have it. Well, I don't want it anymore. That looks like a good cupcake. It does. She went all out. Well, that's the Twilight lady. I don't...

There's fucking vampire blood in that shit. I can't... It's hard for me to read that. What's it say? Graham Elwood sells T-shirts in the lobby after the show? I think that's what it says. Can you read it? I can't read it.

It says, download the Todd Glass show on iTunes? I can't. We're being disrespectful to Doug right now. I can't be reading songs. I'll go with Hello, My Name is Ngoi Monti. I know. He deserved to be picked. I got a cupcake.

Even though there's no way his name is Ngoi-o. Who the hell is Ngoi-o? Who's named Ngoi-o these days? N-O-G-O his name is Ngoio. Who the hell is Ngoio? Who's named Ngoio these days? Nogo. Nor is there walnuts. Nor is there walnuts, whatever that means. Oh. And he bought pot brownies?

All right. Oh, that's mean. No, she didn't mean it mean. She was being funny. Plus, no one that listens to the podcast heard what she said. Now, what is in those brownies? Is there pot in there? No.

Todd's bummed out there isn't weed. I sound like I have a problem. Is there pot in there? Is there any nose pot in that brownie? There's nose pot. Alright, did you pick someone, Todd? No, let this gentleman know. He already picked somebody. He already picked somebody. Who'd you pick?

He picked the cupcake. He picked the cupcake. That guy's fucking drunk. He already picked somebody. Who'd you pick? He picked the cupcake. He picked the cupcake. I just saw it. That guy's fucking drunk. I'm not going to pick somebody. I ain't doing this. I feel bad. I'm going to go with this guy right here.

All right. Who's that? This means I... The laziest name tag ever. Oh, no way. He cashed out for 69 cents. Oh, yeah. And wrote his name on the voucher.

So you get 69 cents one way or another. Hey, when the residual checks come in, cash them. Cash them. Oh, Mayhem Miller with the clothes. Mayhem brings it on. Mayhem Miller. Shutting it down.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mayhem Miller. Mayhem Miller. Ladies and gentlemen, Mayhem Miller. Is that going to stop soon? But yeah, this is proof that the most elaborate name tag, like the giant, hello, my name is Inigo Betoya, gets picked, but also a shitty, somebody that just wrote on the back of a receipt from a slot machine could also get picked. And what's their name, Todd? His name is Pat, right?

Patrick. Patrick. It says Pat something. Oh, Patrick. Oh, okay. Yes, his last name is Rick. Patrick. Well, in all fairness, if you saw the way it was written, I'm not that bad.

It's P-A-T with at least a half an inch before it goes to the rest. Am I lying? Take a look at that. Pat Rick. Seriously. Pat Rick, everybody. Welcome to the show. Patty Rick in the house.

We have a good show tonight. Pat Rick is... Steve Venn. Steve Venn. Whatever his name is Pat Rick He's not gonna win So it doesn't matter

But Todd you just won 69 cents 69 The side of the beast Oh I fucked it up I'm gonna send that Something

A cool gift package In the mail Something I'll think of something Who are you playing for Jason? I am playing for atsmallslikescake. She gave me a cupcake. I'm probably

going to shove it in your face later. And that's your Twitter name? atsmallslikescake? Pretty smart. Do you want to have that punched in somebody's turd hole? It looks like a delicious piece of cake. And it doesn't have

medical marijuana in it? Okay, that's cool Still looks delicious The guy I'm playing for kind of looks like Forget the actor's name, but who is the professional? Robert Duvall John Reno You mean John Reno

He does kind of look like him He's thinner and not as fucking ugly And banging little girls Oh look at her She knows how to Man this Are you a grade school teacher? Like she's bossing me around

From up here I'm like oh Okay I'll put her in here She's talking you through it For you people listening at home The woman gave a cupcake And on the back of it Is the name listening at home, the woman gave a cupcake,

and on the back of it is the name of the place. I guess you own a cupcake store? Oh, you know, you watch your tone. Watch your tone, lady. You know what? Throw her out of here. Get her out of here. Don't call Todd a shithead.

No, that's the name of the shithead that she wants to name at the end of the show. Remember I told you that? Yeah, don't say it out loud, bro. Oh, should I not look at it? I mean, show it? It doesn't matter. Just don't mention it. Don't look at it, Todd. Just let it go, Todd. Don't look at it. Let out loud, bro. Oh, should I not look at it? I mean, show it? It doesn't matter. Just don't mention it. Don't look at it, Todd.

Just let it go, Todd. Don't look at it. Let it go, Todd. Don't look at it. You come here all the time, Todd. This is my first time. Yeah. Todd's only been on once before.

Twice. What? Twice. You've been on twice? Yeah, one time the first time where I got too high with Jimmy Dore. Uh-huh. And then the second time where I didn't get too high. Wait, what time? Wait, what happened when you got too high? Oh, it was not good time where I got too high with Jimmy Dore. And then the second time where I didn't get too high. Wait, what happened when you got too high?

It was not good. When he got too high, that's an amazing episode. Were you just zoned out? Doug, please. Doug's fault. He didn't know that I got too high. He didn't know what happens when I smoked. I'm one hit, I'm done.

One time, Doug slipped pot in my water in San Francisco. And I drank the whole bottle. It was liquid pot. And I'm like, oh man. I was like. What is this, vitamin water? When you say I slipped it in, you mean I poured it in in front of you. Like you were very aware of what was happening.

I didn't know how strong it was, is what I meant. Doug very sneakily went, Hey, Todd, I'm pouring marijuana liquid in your water bottle. I can't believe I sat there and let that guy crack that roofie into my drink right in front of me. I didn't even turn my back and he did it. Hey, there used to be this girl, speaking of roofies, and I'll make this quick. Oh, my God. No, this is a true story.

It was back when I was like 20, but I still remember it. I don't want to be mean. She was a little bit on the, you know, she was not the most attractive girl in the world, right? I'm not the most attractive guy who gives a shit, right? Slap, slap pig. She was not, and she used to always go, she goes, I think someone slipped a roofie in my drink. And we'd all be like, no, nobody did. Nobody's slipping roofies in your drink.

Relax. You're just drowsy, stupid, nobody did. Nobody's slipping roofies in your drink. Relax. You're just drowsy, stupid, and ugly. Ah! Aren't those a couple of the Seven Dwarfs? Drowsy, stupid, and ugly? You're totally... Hi-ho. Hi-ho.

You're so DSU. Alright, so... I don't even know what that is. We'll start... This is the Letter Mullen game. We'll start... Play the Letter Nimoy game. Do it.

Oh, the Letter Nimoy's game is great. He slits his fingers apart and you try to shove your dick in there. Then he says, Live long and prosper. Pin his fingers apart and you try to shove your dick in there. Then he says live long and prosper. Pinches your neck and you fall asleep. And then he tongue punches your fart box. He squeezes your dick neck?

Yeah, he squeezes your dick neck and your dick falls asleep. And then he punches your turd hole. And goes live long and prosper. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. First person

who two points wins. Jason and Todd, don't be intimidated by Graham's recent... I'm not intimidated. Fucking ask questions. Say something. Don't be intimidated

by Graham's recent win in the 12 guests of Christmas episode. Oh, I heard it, bro. I heard it. It was tainted victory. He's using performance enhancing devices. I'll play it at night and enjoy a hot fresh Starbucks coffee in our lobby.

Starbucks right here at the Palace Station. That totally sounds like an announcement that they would make over the... It's unbelievable. It is. Like an announcement that they would make over the... It's like the sound guy said, look, just every once in a while, I gotta drop these in.

It's their deal. Just don't be weird. Let them play out. Don't make fun of them. The general manager gets fucking pissed off. All right, so since Graham is the king of shit mountain, we'll start with Todd Glass and then go to Jason, Mayhem Miller,

and then to Graham. Todd, you get to pick a category. Would you like... It's David Bowie's birthday today. Bow-way. So the films of David Bowie. Yeah, he's been in some films Also

At Vox Y M N Suggested Doug's mom loves movies These are movies that I have Admitted publicly To seeing with my mom Or

At Gam Aul G A M A U L L seeing with my mom. Doug Benson. Or at Gam-O-L G-A-M-A-U-L-L suggested Eat, Drink, Man, Woman. These are movies featuring cannibalism. What would you like to play, Todd Glass? David Bowie, movies I saw with my mom, or cannibalism?

Doug, I'm gonna go with the reason being Play Todd Glass, David Bowie, movies I saw with my mom, or cannibalism? Doug, I'm going to go with the reason being movies you saw with your mom, because I'm going to think you're going to pick a movie I might know if you saw it with your mom. Yeah, yeah, it's a pretty well-known movie if I saw it with my mom. Pretty mainstream. And the only other movie I know about cannibalism is where the soccer players ate each other. That's called a live. And some people love... You had a joke about that, didn't you? I did. I have a joke about how they

eat some butt jerky. What sort of one? No, you had another joke where the guy was going, I'm full. What was that? I remember that. There was never anything about it. There was nothing about anybody being full. I've that? I remember that. I remember that joke too. There was never anything about anybody being full. I've had too much, person.

Alright, Todd. Leonard Maltin gives this movie four stars. It's from 2010. He says about this movie that it is I gotta pick out some clues that don't give it away. He says that it has a truly wonderful cast and that it's brought to life with verve and considerable wit

by the screenwriter. Verve and wit enacted by a truly wonderful cast four stars 2010 I saw it with my mom she lists I mean Leonard lists my mom doesn't do Leonard Maltin's app Leonard lists

about 11 names how many names do you think you can get it in Todd Glass well I may as well go with 11 yeah 11 names? How many names do you think you can get it in, Todd Glass? Well, I may as well go with 11. Yeah. Graham did a great job of tutoring you

in the car on the way here. If that's your opening bit. Then we go to Jason Mayhem Miller. 2010, right? That probably means I've seen it. And Leonard gives it a 4. I probably gave it a 5. So I'm going to probably say I've seen it. Yeah. And Leonard gives it a four. I probably gave it a five.

So I'm going to probably say I could probably do it in seven. Seven names, Grandma Lou. I'm jumping down. Seven names. Yeah, baby. Name that movie. Oh, shit. I'm here.

Come kill me. I'm here. kill me I'm here Name them slow Like In kind of an erotic tone If you're naming them And I think of it Do I

Fuck Yeah you just sit there And shut the fuck up Todd I'm good at that And that goes for everyone here No yelling out Yeah no yelling out We'll punch you in the

Fucking turd hole Just twitter it to me At. We'll punch you in the fucking turd hole. Just Twitter it to me. I will punch you in the turd bowl. Your seven names, Jason, are Michael Gambon, Eve Best, Claire Bloom, Anthony Andrews, Jennifer

Eel, Derek Jacoby, and Timothy Spall. And it's from 2010. He didn't get to any of the good ones. Damn. I should have been so cocky, right? Classic mistake. It happens.

Grandma was an accomplished player in this game. 2010. It was pretty badass Think stop and think Breathe it out I know Let's get some more dead air I want some more dead air here Thank you

Alright so What do you think it is just name anything from 2010 You might be right Maybe True Grit. Ooh, that's a great guess. That was from 2010? There's no great guesses. I know.

If I get it right, motherfucker. I'm sorry. It's a great wrong guess. Asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The answer is The King's Speech. Son of a bitch. That was the second one I was going to,

because I was like, what, one Oscar in a year? Whatever, man. I'll just sit here quietly. Graham Elwood has one point, ladies and gentlemen. Ba-boom. Welcome to the jungle. Hey, Doug, would you say that... Yes, yes, that's my name, Doug.

That's my other guess. Would you say that in a weird way, maybe I'm pushing it a teeny bit, that I did better than him in this round? In a weird way, you did. In a weird way, you're in a weird second place in not getting any points for that round. Yeah, that's a good point.

That's a good point. I'm glad you brought it up. All right, so... No, he's first place of the guys who glad you brought it up. Alright, so... No, he's first place of the guys who didn't get any points. Yes. Whatever. Yeah. That's an important distinction. I want some redemption. Come on. Alright, so Graham gets the

point, and he made Mayhem guess it, so we're going to start with Todd, and then we're going to go back to Graham. We're going to come back around the other way, because we changed up the order. I thought I just went first this time. Yeah, you do.

I'm doing it again? Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. You get to pick a category, Todd. Would you like a gentleman by the name of At Twin Cinema suggested Weyand's World, which is films featuring some of the Weyand's brothers, World, which is films featuring some of the Wayans

brothers. Or, Electric Lemon suggested Doug Loves Groupies. That would be movies about bands. And then, at Always a Shithead, because

today is Stephen Hawking's birthday, suggested movies where someone is in a wheelchair. So, which one of those would you like, Todd? Way In's World, groupies, which is band movies, or someone's in a wheelchair? Well, I hate this. I think no matter what, I'm not going to know it,

but maybe the closest I come is to know it but I don't know the name so does that count at all what first of all I can't make a movie right now you're just guessing what category you're gonna play all right I'm gonna say the wheelchair I know I know I know I. This movie has someone in a wheelchair. Someone in a wheelchair. Okay, I'll give you the clues. That seems like a type of movie I would like. All right.

Here we go. Because you are capacitated in your own mind. Yes, I relate. I have empathy. It makes sense. I'm in a wheelchair myself, in a way. What? A dude in a wheelchair myself in a way What? A dude in a wheelchair would say Fuck you

Or he'd laugh Hopefully Could go either way Depending on the sense of humor of the guy Who's stuck in a wheelchair Most people in wheelchairs They have a good sense of humor I find Seriously

Oh my god the blind or fucking They have the greatest sense of humor, I find. Seriously. Oh my God, the blind are fucking, they have the greatest sense of humor. The deaf, eh. Down syndrome people are great. They're awesome. The blind love podcasts, but the deaf are like, what? All right, Graham's enjoying a brownie.

Give me a brownie, man. I'm going to get crazy today. I don't know if you guys should be eating those. They're full of weed. But that's cool. This is not full of weed. Oh, my God. I'm on pot.

Boop, bop, beep, boop, boop, boop. The guy that's never been on pot, so he thinks he actually... Oh, I'm on pot. Boop, bop, boop, beep, boop, boop. That makes you a robot? Yeah, I'm on pot. LSD. Boop, bop, boop, bop, boop. Just snort that brownie and shut the fuck up. That makes you a robot? Yeah, I'm on part LSD.

Just snort that brownie and shut the fuck up. Alright, here we go. Todd, two stars from Letterman. Didn't care for this movie. I disagree with him vehemently. He says this movie is about, it's about a sullen security guard. And he says that it was, it's a shaggy dog joke. Whatever the fuck that means.

Leonard Nimoy is awesome. Apology. Leonard, apologies to Leonard. I was just kidding. Leonard listens to the show. Graham Leonard. You had him on the show, didn't you? You had him on the show? Yeah.

Because I didn't ever see him. He's been on a few times. See, I don't know who he is. I have this great legend built up in my head. I can't wait to meet this guy. He's a legendary film critiquer, movie reviewer. And Graham, he told me the last time I saw him that he listens to all the rental car episodes with you and I. Yeah, he loves them. He loves I saw him that he listens to all the rental car episodes.

Oh, really? Yeah, he loves them. He loves when we talk about movies in a rental car. All right, here we go. Who started this? Todd? Yeah. You get...

Did you say what year it came out? Yeah, it's 2000. You get eight names total. How many names did you get this in, this movie, where someone is in a wheelchair? Is that a shaggy dog? I'm going to say four. Four names. I figured out why it starts so high.

Then it makes him be able to go lower and still be... What? What? The next... Wait, don't I understand it? The next person in line is Graham Elwood, who was basically your teacher in the car on the way here. He didn't tell me this.

I just thought of it last minute. There's no truth to what I'm saying, because if I say 11, then he says 4. He can say 8, but if I say 4, he's got to say 2. No? No, he doesn't. Oh, I forgot about that. He doesn't.

He can say name that movie, Tom. Okay, I don't think he will. To someone he knows doesn't know what the movie is. You're't. Oh, I forgot about that. He doesn't. He could say name that movie, Tom. Okay, I don't think he will. To someone he knows doesn't know what the movie is. You're right, you're right. Okay, 11. Or eight, or whatever. I'm going to say the highest amount I'm allowed to have. Right?

How many is, what is the highest you're allowed to have? There's eight names. So just say, I can do it in eight names. And pray that Graham doesn't make you do it in eight names. Because I don't think you'll be able to do it in eight names.

What's the worst thing that would happen if I can't do it? Graham is about to win. Come on, bro. Let's drag this out a little bit. All right. I'm going to say I could... I think I might be able to do this, actually.

So eight names. I'm almost... I'm pretty sure. What are you scared, pussy? He's challenging me! What do I do? Pussy Graham, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, Pussy Graham will be selling his t-shirts in the lobby of the Palace Theater.

Come back later and see Louie Anderson. Pussygram.com I'm going to say eight. You're going to say eight. In a wheelchair, 2000, the year 2000. Eight names.

I think I could... You think you can get an eight, Graham? I have to just to see this happen. You have to name this movie. Yeah. I'm excited.

I would... If you get it, I will gladly give you this point, sir. Gladly. I've got give you this point, sir. Gladly. I've got a boner. All right. Mayhem's got a boner in the lobby right after the show.

Now, not to put any extra pressure on you, Todd, but after I say these eight names, every single person in this audience will be able to name it. As will Jason and Graham. And probably every person listening. Can I say one thing? Across the world. Will someone be honest with me?

No pressure. Will someone in the audience be honest? I get the majority of you are going to know it. I'm not stupid. But would somebody be honest after eight if they go, I don't know it either? Okay. All right. Go ahead.

All right. That's what we'll do. I'll say the eight names. Then I'll say. If anybody in, I don't know it either? Okay, alright, go ahead. Alright, that's what we'll do. I'll say the eight names. Then I'll say, anyone in the room who doesn't know it, raise your hand, and then I will make merciless fun of you and them for being

stupid, shithead, asshole, fucknut. Another thing. In all fairness, if you don't know the movie, you could name everything in the movie. You could read the whole script and I still wouldn't know it. Yes, in all fairness. Oh my God.

If you have your head entirely up your ass, then you would not know what this is. Okay, go ahead. I'm going to give this everything I have. Oh my God. I'm so excited about this. I'm so excited. This is so fun.

Oh, what I love. This is so fun. Let me tell you something. He's loosening up. That's how exciting this about this. I'm so excited. So fun. Oh, but I love, let me tell you something. He's loosening up. That's how exciting this is. He's getting ready to go in the cage. I should tell you this. If I knew it on the first name, which I probably won't,

but if there's a, you never know, I would fucking go over and punch you. I mean, not even, not even in a mean spirited way. I would, I would be so happy.

Finally bring some MMA action to fucking Doug loves movies. Let's do it. Letirited way. I would be so happy. Let's finally bring some MMA action to fucking Doug Loves Movies. Let's do it. The Palisadean offering mixed martial arts competition in the Louis Anderson Theater. See? Anybody can be an announcer. I forgot already what I said about this movie initially. It's Summons in a Wheelchair, 2000.

Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah, I said a couple other things. Someone's in a wheelchair. Here's your eight names, the entire... Oh, I know what it is. The top eight names. The top eight names are...

No yelling out. Leslie Stephenson, Iman Walker, James Handy, Spencer Trent Clark, Charlene Woodward. Here's where it gets to the point where everyone here is going to know what I'm talking about. Robin Wright Penn, Samuel Jackson, and Bruce Willis. Now,

raise your hand if you still don't know what movie I'm talking about. There's one person there that doesn't know a movie starring Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson and Robin Wright Pipps. There's another one.

There's at least six people out of a hundred and some people. You know what it is? Don't yell it out if you know it. Please don't cup your hands when you yell but just all I can say to you Todd to help you out is think of a Bruce Willis movie

where Sam Jackson is in a wheelchair oh my god I'm leaving I don't understand what just happened at all I don't I don't know I mean I know

I'm not stupid I do comedy But I don't understand what's Well why is everybody running off the stage? Did you say something? Did you say Samuel Jackson? Is that I don't know movies

I'm just saying that Most people here and listening know the answer. English, motherfucker! After saying that, the people now who don't know raise your hand. Everyone knows it.

You mean once they said Samuel Jackson, that's when you're like, oh, I know it. Samuel Jackson in a wheelchair. Samuel Jackson in a wheelchair. Well, you knew it was in a wheelchair from the beginning. No, you didn't know which person was in a wheelchair. Oh, it doesn't matter. If you know the movie, you're going to remember.

Remember, he was sitting in the wheelchair, and he was like, I'm a mushroom cloud layer motherfucker, motherfucker. Every time I finger tuck brain, I'm some fly TNT. I'm the guns of the Navarone. Do you remember now? It would be like, no, I'm not the... It's like if I started doing like, oh, Jesus, I can't think of a good example to get me out of this. I don't know.

I have no idea. I don't. Why should I be embarrassed? Don't feel bad for me at all. Don't feel bad for me. I don't fucking know. Nobody feels bad for you. Look, it's like his mind is breaking at this point, right?

It's like his head is unbreakable right now. Wait a second. I'm going to defend. Am I the only one in the fucking world? That guy didn't know it. She doesn't know it. She doesn't know it. What about your listening audience?

And the listening audience, they all know it. They all know it. I'm giving them props for knowing. He said the movie. Oh, that's not going to help. No, that will help. I get it. I'm kidding. Come on.

Who are you playing for? This guy. Pat Trick. Hey, this guy's going to win. I'm going to send him. I'm going to get his address and send him the coolest package from LA so he'll be glad he picked me. That's you? Do you know what it is? Did he say the name of it? Yeah, he knows what it is.

Samuel L. Jackson, if I can get out of this wheelchair. Is that what he said? Yeah. He's like, oh my God, I'm made of glass. I wish I could get out of this wheelchair because I'm so made of glass.

Made of glass? I'm like the opposite of the lead character in this movie. I could just start guessing. Who is not at all made of glass. He's made of the toughest material known to man. Made of steel.

That's correct. Made of steel. Yay! I told you, motherfucker. I told you I fucking know it. You get all cocky over nothing. I fucking told you. You suck my dick, dog.

I fucking knew I had it in me! Did you just say suck my dick, Doug? No, he said that was a good idea for the name of a podcast. Mayhem Miller, star of Suck My Dick, Doug. Available on iTunes. All right. I knew. Hey, look, who didn't know that was going to happen?

All right. So, nice try, Todd. Yeah. The film is called Unbreakable. I said it. He literally said it. He goes, it's like... Yeah, but if I don't know it, I'm not gonna know it. That's right. Saying it isn't gonna help me. I don't know it. If you don't know it, you don't

know it. No, in all fairness, and I know I'm making sense. I'm bad because I don't know movies. But if I don't know it. No, in all fairness, in all fairness, and I know I'm making sense. I'm bad because I don't know movies. But if I don't fucking know it, then I'm not going to fucking recognize it when he fucking says it. Right? Am I making sense at all? He brings valid points. That's a really good point, and we'll have you back on the show in a couple of years.

Hey, what did... It's like you think you're saying it in such a, like, un... I don't know. I don't know the movie, or I would have guessed it if I knew to recognize it when they said it. Oh, you son of a bitch. I know. That was so great.

Calm down, man. Calm down. Let's hear it for Graham Elwood, everybody. Boom! Who are you playing for, Graham? Is that him right there? Yes. All right, dude. You get this bag of prizes.

Congratulations. Come out to the lobby. I'll autograph that for you, my friend. Yeah, he'll lobograph that in the obby for you. Lobograph it. He'll flop an affid in the knobby. I put Tic Tacs in there. We'll all hang out in the lobby and say hi to folks,

take pictures and autographs and whatnot. And seriously, you guys are... You guys are the best. It's so fun. You guys are the best. Yeah, they gave the energy. We felt it. In our buttholes. Yeah, we will totally

punch your turd holes. Yeah, punch your fart box with our tongue. Hey, can I say something to the guys out there? When you don't buy your girlfriend a t-shirt, I'm not trying to, I don't make any money. I think she thinks you don't love her. Buy your girlfriend a Palm Strike t-shirt

is what Todd is trying to say. Yes, toddglass.com. Graham's got some nice black ones that are slinky For the ladies Yeah, CD, comedian's got a boo-boo I make delicious smoothies After the show, I got a table set up Wheatgrass shots, it's fucking great

Mayhem will choke you out For a dollar, it's fucking awesome That's all it costs is a dollar And he will fucking wrap his arm around you Maybe a leg and just choke you wrap his arm around you, maybe a leg, and just choke you out. Todd Glass, what do you want to plug here at the end of the show? Todd Glass

podcast. I seriously did have a great time. This was so much fun. Also, the Todd Glass show on iTunes. There you go. Can I come on your show sometime? Yes, I would love to have you on the show. That'd be awesome. It's written, I mean,

on podcast, so it's official. You should do all of our shows. Yay! We'll have you on everything. Never mind.

Jason Mayer Miller, everybody. Oh, thank you. Yay! What's next for you? What are you going to do? I'm going to fight sometimes,

and by the time they're freaking this thing. Yeah, don't wait a year to fight. That's probably part of it Right

Yeah exactly But yeah I'll probably fight Until then MayhemMiller.com I say funny shit Sometimes Occasionally

Yeah I love And on Twitter Twitter You're very funny On Twitter MayhemMiller But man Thank you so much

For having me Doug I really appreciate it Oh thank you For coming Out the range I'm a fighter Whatever You guys are funny

No we like strong Competitors on the show And it's too bad that Graham fucking kicked your ass. Fuck that guy. This is my octagon. It really is. That was one of my favorite Madonna songs. This used

to be my octagon. And Graham, what would you like to plug? Yeah, GrahamElwood.com, my podcast, comedy film nerds. And yeah, what would you like to plug? Yeah, GrahamElwood.com My podcast, Comedy Film Nerds And yeah Some Comedy Film Nerd fans here So check that out, man

Put your kitten hands together And I'm pretty sure we're going to have Mr. Mayhem Miller As going to be a guest on that show So listen and enjoy Thank you Hey everybody Did you just say hey everybody? Yeah, what do you think? It's. Did you just say, hey, everybody? Yeah, what did he say?

It's about time you finally said that. Wait, all this time you've been out here, you finally said, hey, everybody. If I walk around the casino like this and people think it's him. He is now shadowboxing on the stage. He looks like he's falling. He wasn't shadowboxing. He was doing that 80s dance that the women did where

they shake their fists up and down. Alright, we're running out of time. Put the hood on again. Put it on again. Ghost protocol. Ghost protocol. I will be back here at this very establishment, the

Louis Anderson Theater at Palace Station, on February 6th, the night after the Super Bowl, doing stand-up comedy, so please come back for that. I'll be here too. Hey, Doug, look how young I look. And all of my dates are on the homepage of douglosmovies.com. And as always... I don't know which one to do first.

As always, Siri is a shithead Yeah And the Mayan calendar is a shithead Now it's time we're done To watch another talkie Eisenhower's viewing crowd was Fakes in foggy There's no room in his heart for you

Cause Doug loves Movies