Doug Loves Movies - Marc Maron, Kumail Nanjiani, Kulap Vilaysack, and Howard Kremer Guest

Episode Date: August 12, 2014

Doug talks with comedians and podcasters Marc Maron, Kumail Nanjiani, Kulap Vilaysack, and Howard Kremer about the career of Robin Williams.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, 50 seats with 50 as in my boy Colonel in his seat. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Thank you. Hey everybody, there's somebody who keeps yelling one word over and over again. What do you say? Chia. Chia? Chia.

Chia. I don't, yeah, please don't do that anymore. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. That's like the angriest one I've heard, I think. This is Doug Loves Movies! He loves them! Coming to you from our most weekly home for the last six or seven years,

maybe, I don't know how long it's been, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles. It's Tuesday, August 12, 2014. Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the Dead Poets Society. Rest in peace, Robert Williams. Minneapolis. Douglas Movies

comes to the Women's Club of Minneapolis on Friday night. I am not kidding. Hashtag yes all women's club. And then Saturday I'm off to San Francisco for the Benson movie interruption of the third installment in the Twilight series, Eclipse.

And that's at the Castro Theater, the beautiful Castro Theater. And we're going to knock out all five eventually, but please be a part of this one on Saturday at 4.20. And Sunday I'm doing stand-up at Liquid Laughs in Boise, Idaho, also at 4.20. From the corrections department, Philip Baker Hall's character in Heartache is named Sidney.

That's not Gwyneth Paltrow's character's name. Yeah, thank God that was cleared up. The prize bag includes a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt and a copy of Gateway Doug 2, Forced Fun, and some other very interesting and tantalizing items

that I will share with you as the guests come out here and talk about them as the people here in the audience at UCB can see we have four chairs and that always means that there's just too much awesomeness and so we had to add a chair please welcome Kulap Vilaysak, Howard Kramer, Mark Maron, and're like the shyest guest. You're like walking out here like, is this where I go? What's happening?

What do I do? I don't want you to read my texts. Read my texts. You were freaking out about the traffic and how hard it was to get here, and then you know that you've made it in plenty of time. There's another guest who is later than you. There he is.

There he is. It was okay. It was horrendous. I'm not shy. What's up? The traffic really messed you up. Mark Maron, everybody. How are you?

The traffic really messed you up? Yeah. I'm surprised at the text I sent you. I think the C word was used at one point. Here's the first one. I'm surprised at the text I sent you. I personally... I think the C word was used at one point. Well, here's the first one. Fuck you and your 7 o'clock show.

Goddamn fucking traffic. I'm out of my mind. And then three minutes later, dude, nightmare. And this is where I thought I had hope. Five minutes. And then cunt fuck. This doesn't sound like you, Mark. Yeah, I was going to tweet it directly to you.

Yeah. It's also, you know, I guess you're stuck in traffic, so then it's okay to text. I just, you know, I knew when I was doing that, that it would fall on stoned ears, and it wasn't going to make... It did. It absolutely did. I saw, when I opened my phone,

I saw five messages and that usually means that the person's completely forgotten about the whole thing and just realized it. Oh, no. They're not going to make it. But I just saw five messages

and then hit, you know, who are they from? It says they're all from Marc Maron and it was all about the traffic. At that point point you were like the word cunt I'm gonna read in the next 10 seconds

I was like the show's gonna start anyway and then you'll run in at some point it was a general cunt it was not directed to anybody no no

it's to the universe right cunt sometimes that feels good it's not directed to anybody it feels good every single time

every time cunt don't call me that. No, I would never, Mark. Come on. Well, this is a weird time to introduce Kulop of Lysop, everybody.

She's here. Hi. There should be a porn version of At Midnight where the host just keeps yelling cunts! You get cunts! That's the worst porn where they're just talking about it rather than doing anything. Boobs! Think of them! Alright, so that's

That's me. That's Kulop is here, everybody. And she's got not only a terrific podcast with the late-coming gentleman we'll talk to in a second no no the traffic was a cunt was it bad for you why let uber do it but it was tough bad for the uber driver I think so what rest are you drinking why why uber in the of the day? It's like I don't have to deal with the road rage.

Howard really threw on an outfit like he's off to the Hamptons. This is really some great Gatsby shit going on here. This is actually a gift for you. This isn't part of the wardrobe. Instead of a scarf, it's another

t-shirt that you have draped around your neck. It's exactly that. But even your hair is very windswept today. You really seem like you came here in an Uber convertible. Yeah, the Uber had no roof. Driven by Tobey Maguire. So what do you have for the prize bag? It's Howard Kramer, everybody.

Oh, yeah. This is a T-shirt. Could you hold the mic? Thank you. Thank you so the mic? Thank you. Thank you so much, Kulop. You're welcome. Give it up for Kulop. This is a thing called Goo Cruise.

It's a song off my new album. Some people know it. Some of this, some of that. And this is the story of when you go and take a ride on a jet ski, a sea-doo, driven by an orangutan. A rangoo-tang, get it? A rangoo-tang.

Goo cruise. So that's it. Doug, I have two options for the bag. Hey, Howard, is your new album for children? What's going on with that? You know what? It appeals to the child in all of us. For just three months a year, guys,

give your time and attention to summer. Okay. What is it, Mark? Wait, you want my stuff? What? Yeah, you brought something? Oh, you brought your own bag of stuff. Here, I got the vinyl of my special.

That looks thick and heavy. Whoa. But also, Thinky Pain, it's called. I brought two options because I did the Oddball Fest and one of the sponsors was the Pax

vaporizers and I actually put a post-it on there. It just said for Benson if he doesn't have one. Yeah, and those are for tobacco use only by the way. But do you have one of these? I do. They keep giving them to me. Oh. Yeah.

Let me Pax you a question. What? He just had that joke Do you realize How much that's worth? No What do they sell for now? Like $250?

$250? $250 So do you still want to put it in the prize bag? No, I'm going to start smoking weed again Just add 15 years sober, but for $2.50, that's got to make it really good. It's an expensive item.

It's not even really weed when he's smoking out there, right? So you're hanging on to it? Is that what you're saying? You're going to keep it? Yeah, fuck yeah, I'm going to keep it. I gave you the record. People were excited.

If you needed it, I would have given it to you, but now I'd probably give it to somebody who is equally as fucked up as you are in my life. But maybe a charity if you could raise some money or something.

Yeah. For the kids I'll give it. Maybe I'll give it to my teenage niece. Why don't you put it in the prize bag? Because it's $250

worth of prizes. That record is something that I'd like to put out in the world. I enjoy that record. It's my record. This was given to me with no knowledge

of what it's worth. I do think it has my name on it though but you just said you had three of them i did i don't need it okay see that thank you for the honesty i'll this will be a pleasant present for perhaps i've done this once before uh one time tom lennon brought the actual badge prop from uh reno 9-11 that he would wear. Reno 9-11? That's what I call it. Is that a spinoff where they have their war cut out for them? Yeah, weren't you offered the lead in that?

Well, I don't make it past the first 15 minutes though. I haven't introduced him yet. That's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody. Kumail! Kumail's a very thoughtful guest because you brought

you'd forgotten to bring some promotional items, so you purchased some stuff. Yeah, I brought a bunch of candy and cookies and candy. This looks like a super fancy ding-dong. It's $250. $250 ding-dong. These Good Bites raw chocolate truffles look super fun. They're made with superfoods.

I'm sure it tastes terrible. That's the shit that Pete Holmes likes. Where'd you get that stuff? Where'd you get it? Just right around the corner. It's healthy. Yeah, so that's nice of you to bring that stuff.

And what's... I brought that. Mine goes with Kumails. We didn't plan it. I went to the dentist today. They gave you this really sweet little purse with floss and toothbrush. That's right. For your traveling needs.

It's for a dry tooth existence. The dry tooth experience. That's good to have in your luggage when you might forget your other toothbrush. That's how I use them. I have a lot of those. Right, plus hotels are pretty cool about toothbrush giveaways. Yeah, but those aren't even real toothbrushes.

They're like half a toothbrush. They're weird. Yeah, they're not. But that is the card of my dental hygienist. So that's probably different from your guys' situation. No, actually, mine all have a dental hygienist phone number attached to it. Okay, all right. Don't forget there's two free hot dogs from Pop's Hot Dogs.

Yeah, no cheap mystery meats. That's a t-shirt from Cuckoo. From Cuckoo Cruise? No, this is a Who Charted t-shirt. Yeah. Yay! Yeah, that's what Podcast Me and Kramer do. Who Charted t-shirt, a fancy lighter somebody gave me on the road,

Mark Barron's thinky pain, and no packs. That's what's going to be won today by someone. Someone's going to have to work harder for that. In this audience. Apologies to pull your hands together, because I feel like this one's going to be a long one, because I think it's only fair and nice and right to take a moment and talk about the dearly departed Robin Williams, because everybody's been thinking about it.

It's a pretty devastating loss to people, which shows how great he was, and maybe that's crazy that someone that's that great could get that depressed to resort to that. So I thought just everybody could say what they want about it, but I thought we'd start with, you know, favorite Robin Williams movie. Just go down the panel and name them,

and if you say the wrong one, points will not be deducted. I'm just saying, go ahead and say Hook if you say the wrong one points will not be deducted. I'm just saying go ahead and say Hook if you want to. My favorite Robin Williams movie I think it would probably be Good Morning Vietnam I think is the one that I would pick because I think it really

was one of those ones where he was in it and it perfectly served his character and it was hilarious. He had a great comic supporting cast. Yeah, it's a sad thing, but I think that would be my favorite one.

People are checking out the WTF with Robin Williams. Yeah, he reposted the... Yeah. You know, I'm sure it's comforting to listen to, you know, like just sort of where he's coming from. What was weird about it was, like, I've done that with

other people who have been on my show and have passed away. I did with Jonathan Winters, I did with Ron Schock, and and what was weird about it is that I knew I was going to do that, and I knew I'd have to say a few words first, which I did. I just spoke, accessed the feelings and focused and felt what I felt and talked about it.

And then people, because of that interview, were so candid with him, and he'd never really spoken like that before and I don't think since. Everyone started, I started getting these press requests. I'm like, I don't know the guy. I don't know. I don't have a history with him. That conversation was it. And it was amazing.

And it changed my life. But that's it. I'm not going to say anything. You know, listen to it. You know, grieve appropriately. Don't be a predatory weirdo who's like, we got to get comments. I was at the Houston Improv last night, and the two local news stations were outside, and if I had wanted to, I could have gone out there and spoken to them about Robin Williams.

And I'd say, well, I've met the guy a couple times. He was super nice. He had a profound effect on all of our lives. Yeah, exactly. But what me outside of a comedy club saying, you know, what difference does it make what I have to say? But I guess people, they like that coverage because it's still somehow comforting to be able to continue speaking about it

instead of just trying to forget it. Well, I thought the interview would just speak on its own. And what's really scary and horrifying and sad is that at the end of the WTF with Robin, he did a riff on suicide. It was the only time in the entire interview where he actually riffed. For some reason, I got him on a

day where he just wanted to talk real shit. And then at the end, he has a conversation with himself, contemplating suicide and talking himself out of suicide. It's sort of devastating given what happened, but it's still it shows that he had been struggling with this illness a long time.

And that I think it gave a perspective that I think is helpful to people. And Good Will Hunting's also a good movie. Howard, what do you think? Patch Adams? I'm a Patch guy. That should be your quote to the news. Hashtag Team Patch.

What news network is that huh what news network I don't know whenever people you know contact what do you think of I was a patch guy

it could be you thought a clown network would interview you possibly yeah a clown doctor network contacted you

could be a way into that industry you know could be a way into that industry you know could be a foothold in my favorite is Popeye Robert Altman's

Popeye which is like wow that was the first that smattering was well you know there was

it was considered a flop and the esteemed Leonard Maltin I was looking through some of his Robert Williams reviews,

and he gave it the bomb classification. Yeah. But I think that would happen if you don't kind of understand the... Popeye? Yeah. And also just get in... The whole spinach thing and what it means? Or just get into the vibe of the music in it.

It's got a very interesting score that you could either find grading or uh well enjoyable it was such a uh if you're going to translate one world of that of those comics in that cartoon into a film world like usually it would be a much broader sensibility and this was like altman and like the conversations are overlapping but it's just he's talking about dove. That one is weird because it's a kids movie but the plot is about a baby who can predict like horse race wins. So it's for that intersection of

kids who are really into gambling. It's like a really weird. And it's got the least scary octopus in the history of cinema. It just gets kind of thrown on the actors and they just sort of pretend to struggle with it. But he's so fucking great in it. He's Popeye in it.

He's so great in it. That's where you were like, oh yeah, this guy is like a Juilliard-trained, serious actor. He really had to do a lot to transform himself for the result, arguably. He had those huge forearms. That should be your second quote.

He had to have those glued on every day and then watch them glue hair onto those. He's got plenty of hair on his actual arms. But he's one of the hairiest dudes of all time. Kulab, what do you think? Mine was Good Will Hunting.

We won the Oscar Will Hunting. Yeah. That was like the first time. We won the Oscar for that. Yeah, and the first time I saw him, I saw him in a different light for me. Total gentle teddy bear professor. Yeah. Like kind of a Mandy Paking... Paking...

Paking... Mandy Paking... The Pakingker. I had known him as... For me, I had known him as, for me, I had known him as a comedian and him doing comedic roles. For me,

that was the first time I saw him do a drama role. Right, a lot of the stuff he did was like sort of supposed to be dramatic or kind of dramatic,

but that one was really like, that sealed the deal. Didn't he play Yakov Smirnoff in Moscow on the Hudson? I don't believe that's who he was supposed to be,

but he was in that film, yes. He was a saxophone player, I believe. Oh. Kumail? Good Will Hunting, he was so good. You can't take one that's already been... Oh, fuck. Well, I'm just saying,

he was so good at being so funny, but also really heartbreaking. Like, he could do both. He could play characters with such loss, you know, he was so good. But I would say, I'll go with, I think Mrs. Doubtfire

and Birdcage are so fucking funny, those movies. I laugh every time. I'm surprised at how funny Mrs. Doubtfire is every time I watch it.

So funny. Yeah, and Birdcage 2 is a really, it's a really fun, fun-ass movie. Really great movie. And he's really great at playing the,

you know, gay guy that's not as flaming as his partner. That was a thing you hadn't really seen, but he did a great job doing that. I think for, at least like my parents, for a lot of people, it came at a specific time where homophobia was more accepted. And that movie, I think, introduced a lot of... It does open a lot of minds. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely it did.

Do you remember that he had that little part in that Woody Allen movie. Was it deconstructing Harry when he played the actor who was out of focus? He was actually fucking genius in that because you couldn't see who it was. And he had these weird movements of being out of focus and not understanding it. And it was so it was genius. It was great. It was only like five minutes. He was great in that. Can I change mine? Yeah, change that. No, that was just an impressive thing.

Even in stuff that he did that I don't enjoy or I think is a bad film, I just think that he was a very committed performer and super talented. I didn't watch that TV series he just did. Crazy ones?

Yeah, every time I saw a scene from it, I was like, he had to fucking learn all those fucking lines. They fucking... Those David Kelly shows, they fucking talk and talk and talk. That's the most basic thing to be impressed by. No, I'm just saying...

He didn't look into the camera once. I'm just saying most movie stars can look into the camera once. I'm just saying most movie stars can't just go on a show like that and play with the TV people. They can't learn all that shit and do it that way. You've done a lot of TV, right? Sure, sure. Mork and Mindy. I saw, I went

to a taping, like I think it was my high school, we went like in a school bus up to Hollywood and I saw a taping of Mork and Mindy and Bob Saget was the warm up. Really? From San Diego? From San Diego, yeah.

And then after the thing was over with I like ran around I like ditched the rest of the class and ran around the Paramount lot until I got caught. I can't imagine Saget as a warm-up. He did not be filthy. No, he wasn't filthy, but he definitely had that

motor mouth, talking in circles, and a lot of puns. He was very entertaining. I liked him even then. I think the weird thing about Robin, too, is I've met him many times, and I've spent time with him. He was a very generous, very sweet guy.

But the weirdest thing about Robin Williams is that he was almost shy. Yeah. When you would meet him offstage, he was always interested in what you were doing. He was very humble and very sweet and just a really genuine person. And, like, people who don't know him that way or wouldn't see him, because he was coming around here, and he used to come in the comic clubs. When you first see him, you're like, oh, my God him that way or wouldn't see him in these because he was coming around here and he's used to Becoming the comic clubs you when he first see him you're like oh my god is Rob Williams and he's really like Yeah, you know and he doesn't he wasn't it was just he was very grounded and very

Sweet and it's like he was very he seemed very kind. Yeah, like he just When I he dropped in like a meltdown one,down once and I got off stage and went into the green room and he was like hey and I was like hey and he was like

hey I'm Robin I was like yeah okay what's your last name and but the I was like

oh hey Robin nice to meet you and I remember and he I was like do you want to go up and he was like I'm just here to watch and I was like just I was like do you want to go up and he was like I'm just here to watch

and I was like just do two minutes and his hat and coat were off he's like alright I'll do two minutes and how much did he really do he did 15

blew the light I'm giving him the light he fucking crushed what was great was not when his jokes wouldn't do well how self effacing

he was on stage and like make fun of himself. And the crowd, so much love. And when he got off stage, his face was so bright and he was smiling and his eyes were shining. He was like, thank you. That was wonderful. I really needed that because he'd just come from shooting Crazy

Ones and I think it was a long day or something. And he stuck around and watched the show and laughed at everybody and he just then left. And I was like, please come back anytime, Robin. And I texted my mom that Robin Williams did my show. And it's the only time she's ever been impressed.

One time when I was at the Throckmorton Theater, you know, Pitta runs that show up north. And Robin used to hang out there. And, you know, he's not the kind of, you didn Robin used to hang out there. And, you know, he's not the kind of, you didn't want people, I didn't want people to know he was in the audience. He sat in, like, like one of those, what do you call it, booths up top, like, right. So he's

up there, and I got a headline, and I know he's sitting up there, and I don't want, I don't want to play with him. Because, like, he likes to improvise, and I didn't want to get into, you know, I had to likes to improvise and I didn't want to get in. I had to get through my hour. I didn't want to just improvise or try to improvise with him. But you can't

stop thinking about the fact that he's there. I know he's there because every time a joke didn't do well, I'd hear Robin go, It was such a defined laugh. It could only, no one else. Oh, yeah, like I was like, oh my God. It was like this ongoing invitation for me to acknowledge. And I didn't, but he did get up there

and he did a German sex therapist for like 45 minutes. I ran this really tiny show at El Cid like seven years ago and it was a show where we were just doing everything but stand-up. It was called Garage Comedy and he showed up and just hung out. Like he hung out and I took a photo with him. It was such a thrill and I know

he did improv jams here on the stage and it's such a beautiful thing. he would come and jam with like students you know like I just he just loved comedy he loved being around comedians yeah that's because he was at at his core a fucking comic he was a comic he was a great comic there There was nobody like him. That's it. Yeah, and probably, I mean, I can't, you know, diagnose him, but I would imagine that he was depressed. Performing, yes.

And performing, like being in front of people all the time. Yeah. Like if there was comedy 24-7, he could probably, you know, get by. That could probably be his medicine. You should have hired an audience to live with him. Too dark. I apologize. Maybe too true.

It kind of had to happen. This is supposed to be a fun show and it's a heavy subject. I was going to say for me it's World According to Garp is my favorite. That's like right after Popeye I think. That's like one of his really early ones. It's a heavy subject. I was going to say, for me, it's World According to Garp is my favorite. Oh, yeah. That's like right after Popeye, I think.

That's like one of his really early ones. Really early, but just, you know, introduced us to Glenn Close and John Lithgow and just that whole movie. Amanda Plummer? Oh, the fucking no-tongue stuff. How about the guy who gets his dick bitten off? Is that that movie? It sure is.

It's an extremely unpleasant car accident blowjob scene in that film. And that guy was such a skeevy little actor guy. Just like fucking that guy with fucking Robin's wife and then in the car,

and he, oh boy. Yeah, yeah. That's not a good night for him. That guy. That speech that he gives in Good Will Hunting to Matt Damon

where he's like, you know, you gotta live your life, go and look at the Sistine Chapel and stuff, I think about that like once a week because my instinct

is just to like stay home and kind of fucking do nothing, God, but I think of that and I was like, yeah, it is important to go out and and kind of fucking do nothing go out but I think of that and I was like yeah it is important to go out and have like experiences and I don't know man you can still look at a lot of great video games

if you stay home then you could listen to a podcast about it called The Indoor Kids you're doing a terrible job of promoting your own it's a great TV show that you can watch on Comedy Central. Kumail, I always love hearing from you,

but there was something specific you wanted to promote with this appearance? Oh, The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail is a show. It's on Comedy Central, 12.30 a.m., Wednesday nights, technically Thursday. 11.30 in the Central and Mountain time zones. You're on it, and Mark is on it. When's my episode going to be on? I heard at the

opening night party or whatever, you showed that episode. It killed! I heard it went well, yeah. It killed! It was so fucking funny. Gabe the Magician told me that my bit turned out okay. Oh, it's so funny. And the night we did it, it was a mess, as you know. It was so funny. No Gabe the magician told me that my bit turned out okay. Oh, it's so funny. And the night we did it, it was a mess, as you know. It was so funny.

No, it was fun on the night, too. We had to change the order because there was a joke that after the Robin thing wasn't appropriate, so we had to switch the order around, so I don't remember what the order was. What was that joke? Here, I'll do it in its entirety. Thank you.

Because it'd certainly be less appropriate now. Yeah, this is the worst time to do it. No, it was like, it was a really, it's a, I don't want to get into it.

It wasn't, you know, it's not, it was a really funny joke and it's actually a very well done and compassionate joke, but it just, they were scared of airing it. Well, last night in Houston, the club for, you know, it makes perfect sense they wouldn't even think of this,

but their opening video that starts every show, they list off a bunch of comedians that have come from the improv. And they just, Robin Williams! And the crowd was like, ah! They didn't know. They made the weirdest noise. Some of them were like, yay! And some were like, ah!

Why did you take that out? Why are you reminding us before we have to watch some stoner for an hour and a half? My mom texted me yesterday. She was so sad about Robin Williams, and she never texts me. And I realized the Venn diagram of my mom and my interests, the only intersection is Robin Williams. That's the only thing we agree on.

He's fucking awesome. I talked to my mom yesterday, a few minutes after I heard, and she clearly didn't know yet, and so I didn't say anything. I gave her a little bit more time to think that he was alive, because it's a bummer to everybody. He has a place in everyone's mind

and heart, no matter what. He's been around, you know, he's Robin Williams. And everyone has a favorite Robin Williams movie. Everyone has a movie that they love that has Robin Williams in it. Death to Smoochie, anyone? I thought there might be one weirdo. World's Greatest Dad?

That's good. Yeah, that's a really great movie. What about Jumanji? People always fucking... So last night at the... By the way, can I say Jumanji? People always fucking... So last night at the... By the way, can I say Jumanji fucked up my life for like three years. That's when you made the switch

from board games to video games? Yeah. My name used to be Kumail Jumanji. I had to change it. Are you sure it's not Jumanji? Yeah, I'm pretty fucking sure. I've been hearing it my whole life. Hey, my mom texted me about it,

but it wasn't because we have common interests, but I think she... Must be nice. She was like, I think she was checking to see if I was still alive. She does check on you whenever anything happens. Yeah, so I think it was like, I think she was checking to see if I was still alive. She does check on you whenever anything happens. Yeah, so I think it was like, well, if Robin Williams' career was like big, you know. Right, if he can't make it work, then I better check on how he. Yeah, they're in similar classes.

That's the thing. Thank you, Mom. That's the thing. Thank you, Mom. You were so successful. You just realized it has nothing to do with it, I guess. Yeah, you'd think that would have helped. It's a different thing.

It's a different thing. At the improv last night in Houston, at the end of my shows, I'll play a game from Doug Lowe's movies with audience members who brought name tags. So I wanted to play Last Man Stanton and that's where you get a somebody you get a name of somebody and then everybody just takes turns naming movies that person

did until you run out and the audience people just started yelling out Robin Williams I was like oh this is a comedy show I didn't really mean to go this route you know but then we had fun just going through and naming these movies.

I enjoyed it. That's my way of saying, let the games begin! Dead Poets Society? We didn't even talk about that. That's an amazing movie. Sorry. It is amazing. Going through All of them

And just really Thinking about them Like even things That didn't work so well At least his He seemed like Always his heart Was in the right place

I loved What dreams may come Even though that's Like such a weird That's a crazy ass movie That's where he's like Wandering around In paintings the whole time

Yeah And Cuba Gooding Jr. Comes by and he's like I'm not radio In hindsight Not a good movie. I can do other things. Yeah. I like that movie.

Gentlemen and lady, pick your name tags. There's a guy with a license plate over there. I'm sure he's been here before and I made a Jaws reference before. How about the hula hoop? What's in that box? Donut holes. A box full of donut holes, you guys, if you're into

donut holes. Oh, wow. I got a hula hoop. Kumail switched out his non-donut hole name tag with a donut hole name tag. Mark looks like he might have chosen a hula hoop.

A taped hula hoop that says Hudsucker Scotty on it. Okay. Was there hula hooping in that movie? Yeah. It's a big part of the movie.

There you go. He invents hula hoops. That was very clever. Oh, right. Very clever. Scotty. Is that your name? Hudsucker Scotty.

I like it. Where did Kramer go? He has left the building. He's literally gone. He's Ubering home right now. There might be some good name tags out on the street. I mean, but seriously, we're making jokes. I'm concerned.

No, no, no. He always comes back. Don't worry, Kamau. Does he disappear from Who charted sometimes? He does. Oh, there he is. There he is. You made comes back. Don't worry, Kumail. Does he disappear from Who Charted sometimes? He does. Oh, there he is. He is. You made it back.

I got Jim Jims. All right. Well, we'll get to you here in a second. We were just worried about your well-being. It's good to know that you're here. Oh, okay. That's it. Everything's all right.

We can't eat those. All right. I'm going to make a vine of this. Let's start with Kumail. Who are you playing for, Kumail? I'm playing for Paul, and he hearts donuts. And it says donut holes with arrows pointing to the donut holes. No confusion at all.

Who are you playing for? I'm 100% sure I know what these are. Me too. Mikey Soda. He's from Minnesota. Me too. Howard. I'm playing for Jim Jims.

That's about all the information I have. It's some sort of snack box. I don't know what snack it used to be Cookies But now it's Jim Jims They're JoJo's They were JoJo's from Trader Joe's Yeah Vanilla sandwiches

Oh, I don't know JoJo's They're cream cookies There's instructions on how to eat the cookies on the side Oh, good I feel like we have that down, Trader Joe's Mark, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Hutt Sucker Scotty on how to eat the cookies on the side. I feel like we have that down pretty, Joe. Mark, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Hutt Sucker Scotty.

Brought a hula hoop. Yeah, he did. Alright. I don't know if Scotty's thrilled about me playing for him, but we're going to do our best up here. We'll be alright, man. Sometimes it happens for me. Yeah, anybody can win.

And I was delighted when you had Leonard Maltin on WTF and you guys discussed your amazing, you went negative three on Wizard of Oz. I did. Yeah. That is a pretty big moment for everyone. Yes. Oh, shit. It changed a lot of people's lives.

That was the night that I beat your ass. Oh, you remember. Yeah. Good. The pills are working. I think I need pills. Do you really? I don't have pills.

I don't do pills. Do you have pills? No. Okay. Why are you so fucking happy? Things are going all alright for Kumail. I know. Silicon Valley, big hit. You're doing a thing

where you and TJ Miller are going to be asked questions by somebody somewhere on like Thursday. Do you know about this? Yeah, that is the worst description of it I've ever heard. Why, what's going to happen?

We're just doing our Twitter Q&A because Silicon Valley came out on iTunes. Oh, a Twitter Q&A? Yes. How does that work? Is it like Twitter? Yes, it's like Twitter. People ask you questions,

you respond. And you get angry at them. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. All right, cool. What is weird is that if we ever tweeted each other, Mark, there are 10 people

who respond trying to fucking get us to fight. And it worked three days ago. I know, but we, both of us sort of petered out,

you know, because like, I don't really, I don't have anything really against you. Look me in the eye when you say that. Why do you have to look away?

Here's what it is. You're very a bright, funny man. I enjoy what you do. Thank you so much. All right, let's continue. But... But... Oh, no.

Let's do what happens. let's see what happens. It was... We were... Yeah. We'll see what happens during the game. I... No, I'm... I'm happy for your success.

Cut. Can we take that again with more sincerity this time? I said it! I said it! I'm trying to fucking... No, no. Contrary action! Hey, Mark Mark do you watch

X-Files ever? No Then you should be a guest on X-Files files with Kumail Nanjiani I watched a couple of them But not enough to listen I um It's a podcast about the X-Files

I'm going through it and watching all of it Yeah no I mean I can't keep up with all your great things. You know what it looks like? That's a great way of saying it, throwing that word great in there. People can't see it at home, but the face and the words do not match. It looks like that old Conan bit where the lips are moving and the face is doing something else. I think we're both doing okay. It took me a lot longer to get to where I am.

But luck is a big part of this business. Is that right? I don't know. It all comes down to longevity. I love what you think. It's really hard for you to be mean, and I appreciate that. Well, okay, here we go.

No, wait. I mean, it's not luck. I just didn't take a 10-year sabbatical for cocaine and failed marriages. Right. I understand that. Apologies to who charged it. Wait, hold on, hold on. Hold on a minute.

Hold on. Yet. I got it out of the way. Let's see how you handle success. That's what we were saying. We were having that Twitter battle, and at one point we were like, what the fuck are we doing?

No, I literally said, this is exhausting me. Yeah. I don't want to do this anymore. And you're like, okay, I love you. Yeah, let's not do it. I love you. I said, love Mark.

Yeah, yeah. That was a good moment. Yeah, I felt very, it was like seven in the morning, I was getting on a plane, and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah. No, I have warm feelings for you. I do.

I do. I always liked you, and I liked you at the beginning when we first met, when you liked me. And that was before you were successful and you were very sort of like, I really like what you do and it's important. It was important to you. I've never not known Kumail to be successful.

He was successful from the second I first laid eyes on him. No, no, this was before. It was a tricky time. It was in between. He I first laid eyes on him. No, no, this was before. It was a tricky time. It was in between. He hadn't moved out here yet. I was in Pakistan. I mean, I was the biggest comedian in Pakistan. No, but it was weird because I got booked in Pakistan.

Neither one of us could understand it. He said, can I open for you? I said, how much time you got? It was weird. It was in Brooklyn, though, actually. And you had a shitty car. And you gave me a ride somewhere. I still have that car.

Why? Because, I mean, it works. No, I'm the same way. I have a Toyota Camry. I don't have a problem with that. You want to go car shopping? I don't know anything about cars. Me neither.

Let's go. All right. Let's go car shopping. I literally bought my first car. I went in and I said, I want a red car. And I want it today. I went in and I said I want a red car and I want it today and I went to and I got a red car and I have a red car now.

Do you have another car though? Is there a second? Does Emily have a car? Emily has the car that we gave you the ride in. Oh, that was a great ride. Wasn't it? Yeah, it was.

I used to go on your website and reload hoping that you'd written new essays every day. Did you guys do this on the Who Gives a Shit podcast? Hi, thank you, Doug. God damn it. Holy shit.

I think we, honestly, Doug, I think we made some progress. We were just waiting for it to take an ugly turn, and it just didn't. It just became a friendly, typical chit-chat between people who don't want to start up anything. But Coolop also has something very important that she's promoting. She's got an Indiegogo. Is that what it's called?

Yeah, it's an Indiegogo campaign. Indiegogo. Yeah. For a documentary. It's a documentary. Tell us about it. I directed it. It's called Origin Story.

It's about me Kind of figuring out When I was 14 I found out my dad My dad wasn't my real dad And I just went to Laos Just this past April And met him So it's sort of a journey

The dad you grew up with Wasn't your real dad? Yeah Oh wow Yeah I found out because I defended him once And then my mom said

Why are you defending him? He's not your real dad. Whoa. This was recently? This was when I was 14. Oh, okay. It took me till 34 to kind of

figure out that I should probably meet the guy who I owe half my DNA to. That's a crazy way to find out. It's not great. Could be worse.

Your dad could have been Vince Vaughn. You know what? I've never factored that Is that a delivery man reference? He had Yes He had 250 kids I'm pretty sure

That is the only time Delivery man has been referenced He had 250 kids In that movie 250 kids And his girlfriend Was mad at him For having so many kids

And he was like I was young And I donated sperm Well at least he went out To look for them Right How did it turn out though? Did it turn out okay? It's hard to get a visa That's probably the end Of the documentary Okay okay and he was like, I was young and I donated sperm. Well, at least he went out to look for them. Right? How did it turn out, though? It's hard to get a visa.

That's probably the end of the documentary. She needs to raise money for post-production on the documentary. Yeah, I'm pretty much done with all photography, but it's just getting across. Where do they go to do it? They go to Indiegogo and search Origin Story Doc. Please. All right.

I got to tweet that to you. Yes, Alright. I gotta tweet that shit. And Howard's got a new album out. Some of this, some of that. Go for it. Don't hold back, audience. This is a dialogue. It is some of this, some of that.

This is the third album. They'll have a Summer trio of albums. The trilogy. Trilogy. And it's so great. On this special summer, just yesterday, three Panda Cubs triplets were born in China. Hey, give it up for that.

Why did you touch Kulaf when you said China? I just wanted to connect with her about where it was all going down. Not Chinese. So just somewhere else is all you need. He calls all of Asia my sector. Hey, I'm from Asia, and I'm not from her sector.

No, no, but isn't she a great representative? Give it up, everybody. You all just clapping for racism right now. You know, I like to think of it as all the tribes gathering. Just tribes? Tribes.

The tribes? Oh, yeah. All the natives. Well, I'm a tribesman. I'm a tribesman. Mark's a tribesman. A very powerful and successful tribe. Twelve colors, divisions. He knows a lot. I do, I do.

We're renegade Jews. There are better Jews than us. Exactly. The maverick bees. Hey, guys. Some of The maverick bees. Hey, guys. Some of this, some of that. Some of this,

some of that. I just got that pun, by the way. Some of this, some of that. Great pun. You got it quicker than I did,

Kamil. It's a great album. It's got 10 tracks, including goo crews and government pants, a lot of stuff that Mark endorses privately to me.

Big supporter of Howard's work. Right. Privately. He's saving his rep. But it's a great album. Pick it up on iTunes and at Bandcamp, please. Pick it up, pick it up. Pick it up.

All right, so we've run out of time, and so we're going to play a really fast game. Wait, did Mark didn't play anything? I can't promote anything? Oh, I thought earlier I said something about how you had a special Robin Williams edition of the thing. Well, yeah, that went up, but I have other things. Hey, how long will that be?

All right, maybe next time, Mark. When does this go up? When does it go up? Immediately. Tomorrow, tomorrow. All right, well, I'll be at the Comedy Zone in Charlotte, North Carolina, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Nice. The 15th and 16th.

That'd be good if you could come. Yeah. I just did Oddball there, which had 10,000 people, and my sales are not that great at the zone. Ooh. I'd say I give them kind of a big walk-up market there, I think. No, I'm excited. I like it.

I like the one. I'm listening to I like it. Just listening to this. Hey, I do this on the Who Gives a Shit podcast. Let's play the game. I'm ready. People get to do their plugs, Kumail. You guys were talking about gardening or something. We're constantly with the gardening. We're constantly the gardeners. We both have shitty cars that we believe we deserve.

Can we eat these cookies or what? Yeah. Oh, please. You want donut holes? No, no, no. Just the cookies, not the holes. Okay. But let's, to determine a winner, because somebody needs to win the prize bag.

Will we play one game? We're going to play a very fast game. It's called Doing Lines with Mark. Woo! I had 15 years sober yesterday This is good These are your lines? These are my lines You're stepping all over Mark Would you play it again?

We got Mark Wahlberg to pre-record for tonight's show because he's busy. I know. I know. Isn't it a shame that I didn't bring him out when there's no show left? Wouldn't that have been worse? I do not know what...

I don't want to know what Mark Wahlberg thinks about Robin Williams dying. So I'm glad he's gone. I'm glad Mark Wahlberg's gone. Jesus. Wow. Wow. Tough crowd. So Mark Wahlberg's going to say a line from a movie.

Anybody want a Jim Jim? And first one of you to guess what movie this line is from is going to be the winner tonight on this very special episode where everybody just learns to get along. This is it? It's one going to be it. As soon as he plays it, I think he's just waiting for just enough silence to drop it in.

Oh, the terrorists. Yeah, they were in that way. It was a run by fruiting. I'll get them. Don't worry. I got it. This is Doubtfire. That's correct.

Kumail is our winner. Drive by fruiting. I love how you just said, I got it. I should have been more clear. You just have to blurt it out. Where's the person with the donut holes? Here you go, dude. Come get your prizes.

There's a bag full of stuff and Mark's album and no packs. And you can have your donut holes back. Can we talk about movies or something? Are we really done? Is it over? It's really over. What back Can we talk about movies or something? Are we really done? Is it over? It's really over

What do you mean talk about movies? We talked about A great movie actor I saw that Happy Christmas That Joe Is it good? Yeah I liked it a lot

And I saw that other one The confusing French one Indigo Mood Indigo The fuck was that about? It's a lot of Michelle Gondry It's a lot of A lot of going on A lot of trippy imagery.

Based on a book, oddly enough. Yeah, see, I gotta read the book because I found the movie compelling, but I was so caught up with the things that were moving that shouldn't be that I couldn't follow. Yeah, that Audrey tattoo is pretty adorable. Let's do it. What have you seen lately, Howard?

I saw something terrible. Jim Jarmusch. Bad? Oh, the vampire thing? Yeah. Oh, it's not good? Only lovers left alive? Yeah, real bad.

Real bad. Well, they like... What was wrong with it? They spent just a lot of time kind of being bummed out that they had to keep finding blood. It was like, if you're going to show me another angle of the way vampires live, I can figure, yeah, that like,

down moments. You should do movie reviews. That's what I keep saying. I do. He doesn't like hard up vampires. Like successful vampires. You don't like movies that are like, what do you call them? Crazy make-em-ups. Crazy make-em-ups. Guys, you don't like movies that are like what do you call

them crazy make them ups crazy make them guys he doesn't like movies oh easy i love jaws it's a better thing for me and uh but i i'm not so yeah into where you gotta buy into five other rules before you go watch the movie but otheraws, you wish most films were two minutes? I think a lot of movies are too long. And there's a lot of songs that give you the same amount of a ride and a lot less time.

And then you can put your energies into, you live in a dystopian world where the caps are melting and the animals are dying and the animals are dying and the bombs are going off be a hero

in this world that you're already in it's like a very it was a very slow Eddie Pepitone rant a very soft Eddie Pepitone at bedtime

yeah light FM yeah it seemed like sleep talking we're all in trouble things are bad Cuckoo what have you seen lately them. Yeah, it's him like sleep talking. We're all in trouble. Things are bad. Cuckoo, what have you seen lately?

Last movie I saw was Guardians of the Galaxy. Oh, it's a delight. It's a delight. I am Groot. What about the Winklater movie? Anyone see that? Yeah, Boyhood. I saw that. It's great. Yeah, that was good. Took a long time to make that. Almost as long to watch it though, too, right. I saw that. It's great. Yeah, that was good. Took a long time to make that. Almost as long to watch it, though, too, right?

I thought that movie was so great. Like, the cumulative effect of it, by the end, I was like crying over shit. Did you give it a good CUME score at the end? Great CUME score. Because I was like, I don't know if it's going to have a real story or if it's just you seeing a kid grow up and that's the appeal of it. But by the end of it. Well, yeah, because you keep saying, like, oh, that's the same guy. Yeah. That's what you seeing a kid grow up and that's the appeal of it, but by the end of it... Well, yeah, because you keep saying like, oh, that's the same guy. Yeah.

That's what you do the whole movie. It's the same... Look what he's turning out. Yeah. And I saw it. There was like a Q&A. That kid introduced it. I saw him as a grown-up. And then next I saw he was seven years old and it was... And then also when the movie was over, you got to see

him at three hours older. Are you trying to say you didn't like the movie? I haven't seen it. I'm just worried that I won't like it. It's really, really wonderful. I don't know if you didn't know the device that it would be as compelling as it is. Do you know what I mean? I'm just going to go see this movie. I don't know anything about it. You'd be like,

what the fuck is the point of this? But knowing, then you're like, oh, this is emotionally interesting. But I think that's part of the point of this? Yeah. But knowing, then you're like, oh, this is emotionally interesting. But I think that's part of the experience of watching the movie. Yes. Of course.

I'm not saying it should stand alone on its own merits. I'm going to do some stand-up at the Tempe Improv on Wednesday, August 20th. All my dates are at douglosmovies.com.

Do you guys have shitheads on the back of your Jim Jims and your license plate and stuff? We've got gotta sort that out Cause we want them to get their consolation prize And uh Where is it on the Jim Jims It's not

It's not on the Jim Jims Could you come down And write one down for me dude Oh No one saw that man I wanna make sure everyone knows what happened People at home, he tripped on the stage But recovered

Why'd you have to do that? Recovered with a sharpie in hand And he wrote down a terrific shithead We trip on the way up Good job That was too dangerous He jumped Sir, you are full of hubris We trip on the way up. Good job. That was too dangerous. He jumped.

Sir, you are full of hubris. Is there a shithead on the hula hoop? I don't know what that is. What do you mean? It's that round thing you're holding. That's a weird sentence. Is there one? There is? On the back of the paper.

Oh, you made a puzzle. Thanks a lot, Scotty. Good one, Scotty, you made a puzzle. Thanks a lot, Scotty. Good one, Scotty. You made a puzzle. Kumail just repeated my punchline. No, I was repeating it because I thought

it was funny. You did it right. All right. Thank you to all of my guests, Mark Maron, Howard Kramer, Kulap Halaisak, and Kumail Nanjiani.

Hey, Kumail, can you come back next week? Yeah. Okay, Kumail will be back next week. And as always... Why does he get the only... Because he won. Oh. As always...

Remember last time how you won? That's me now. I don't know how you could possibly compare the two. Last time was... That was a tough moment. It was compelling. I had to use my brain and reach deep. Do you remember the pause? You just remembered going to see it in the theater when it came out.

Oh, I don't know why I did that. I'm sorry. Yeah, but it's an old joke, but I'm not that old. I mean, I'm sorry it didn't come to your country. As always. Actually,

I did make it there. Whatever, whatever. We're all big Wizard of Oz fans in Pakistan. It didn't help, though, did it? No.

We're still in the black and white land over there. To us, we were like, what's so impressive about this? It's just another fully black and white movie. Kyle Schaffer is a shithead. Did I say that right? Schaffer.

Okay. Are you using steam, Doug? No, I'm wrapping it up. On your show in the garage, do people keep crying when you're trying to close the show down? Give one more plug for coffee.com or whatever the fuck.

The people that don't like the movie Hook are a shithead. And depression is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another Bucky. Guys, the world is viewing cowards makes it foggy. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies.