Doug Loves Movies - Mark Normand, Mike MacRae, John Erler and "Mark 'Otter' Wahlberg" guest

Episode Date: January 9, 2017

Live from Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Doug welcomes Mark Normand, Mike MacRae, John Erler and "Mark 'Otter' Wahlberg" guest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby-sticky seats With 50 azir pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies That's douglovesmovies.com Hey everybody, my name's Doug and I love movies! This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again, mere three and a half weeks later,

I think it hasn't even been a month since the last time I was here, at Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas! This weekend's really pushing my, you know... I used to love Austin unequivocally. No problems with Austin, except now I have a problem. And it's this fucking weather right now. It's brutal. Like, I go to places during the winter to avoid

this weather. Austin is one of the places I go. A week ago I was like, I'm going to go to Austin in a week and see if I can get people to show up for a show. And then I got everything in place

because we've known it's going to be cold like this for a few days. People started warning me immediately. I'll be at your show. You better bring a coat. But I'm very happy to say that at least, the number may be higher, but last time I checked, 287 people showed up for the Saturday afternoon

January 7th 2017 at 420-ish Douglas Movies taping. I'm so happy for all of us. It's very warm in here and most of that is just the glow off of your

brightly lit name tags. Let me see your name tags, Austin. Only the weird ones. Oh, my goodness. So many. How many of these wiggle yours around if it's the first time you've brought that name tag to a show? Yeah, I thought some of you might just be coasting on the same old name tag.

But, you know, some people want to just keep using the same one until it works. Some people change it up. That's why roulette is hard to win at. You know? You never know when the number's going to come up. Yeah, go ahead and put them down. I normally describe some of them,

but as you can see, I lost interest. I was like, I saw a lot of these three and a half weeks ago. But this dude over here figured out a new lighting system for his Guardians of the Galaxy. What's your name? Isaac. Isaac.

And pointed towards me with the light on so I could see it because he put like a instead of putting Christmas lights all around it which just look like Christmas lights around a dark hole out in the audience he put, look at that he put like a little reading light

pointed towards it yeah Guardians of the Galaxy Isaac so good job dude I would guarantee that we get picked if there was if Jacob Searoff was here today but he is not yeah he died a couple days ago yeah he died in a plane crash with Buddy Holly I'm sorry buddy another Buddy Holly impersonator. If you don't know what Jacob looks like,

a Buddy Holly joke is right on the money. And Jacob's favorite band is Weezer. All right, Doug Plugs. I'm doing stand-up this Tuesday in Oxnard, California at Levity Live. And bring your name tags, because we'll play a game. San Francisco, Sunday, January 15th. Do not bring your name tags to we'll play a game. San Francisco, Sunday, January 15th. Do not bring your name tags to the Castro Theater because at

420, I'm doing an interruption of Fifty Shades of Grey with four special guests as part of SF Sketch Fest. sfsketchfest.com for tickets. And Los Angeles, Emile Hirsch Watch continues.

He's going to be on the goddamn show, you guys. With a taping at Meltdown Comics on Monday, January 16th at 420. That's the only way to celebrate MLK Day. Unless you're going to a parade or something. Prize bag. Let's look in the prize bag. It's an At Mid Prize bag. Let's look in the prize bag. It's an at midnight bag. An at midnight tote. That's the new thing they're giving

away to contestants on the show. And so I'm giving it away to you guys. Oh man, this is heavy. Did somebody in the back just yell, hey, give it to me? Is that really what happened? I'd keep an eye on that one

if I were other people here. See something, say something. Let me ask this woman, are you familiar with the work of the films of Amy Adams? Are you familiar with the work of the films of Amy Adams? She feels she's one of your stronger areas of expertise. I've got a pipe from my friends at Peacemaker. A t-shirt that says Doug Loves Movies on it.

Yay! Doug Loves Movies on it. Yay. Another t-shirt. I don't care what it says on it. Just moving it along. Oh, they gave me some more Deluscious Cookies because I was on Advent Nights.

There's a box of Deluscious Cookies. And I thought that would make a funnier noise but I'll settle for that this is just in time for you to go outside after the show and do whatever it is you might do outside this is crazy, what's happening

this microphone this is an assassin's it's an assassin's creed scarf. Now try to assassinate me. Scott Stapp from Creed. It's really nice, actually. I really like it. This is one, not unlike the Deadpool sunglasses

that I eventually broke. So those turned out to be dangerous, so I did the person a favor by taking them. I've been going back and forth about whether or not I'm going to put these in the bag. But just for all of you to see, this isn't some now-you-see-me-too shit. There it goes, into the bag.

It's definitely in the bag. Along with, oh my god, it never ends, somebody sent, somebody that's a friend of the producer of this show, sent something called Lords of Soaptown and said, do whatever you want with this.

So this is what I'm doing with it. It's the true story of freestyle walking. And then I read some passages last time from one of these two books here that were written by J.K. Norrie,

and he gave them to me in... Where the hell was I? I was somewhere recently, and he gave them to me. Not jail. What a weird guess is jail. And we really were, and this place isn't full. We've got to stay away from seating people behind where my guests are gonna be sitting.

Because those seats are gonna suck, you guys. It's gonna be looking at everybody's backs. I mean, unless you're into that. Then that's a different thing. I don't see the back of his shoulders the whole time. I really want to remember where this guy's from. It'll probably pop into my head.

Sacramento! So two books by J.K. Norrie are going in the bag. So I'd like whoever wins the bag to let me know about them. Read them, let me know what happens. Zombies are the last zombie, and zombies are the first zombie. So I don't know how many books there are total. But thank you, J.K. Norrie, for giving me those

and for working my name into the narrative somehow in each of the books. I'm kind of scared to read it. Also, my guests brought prizes for the prize bag. Shall we bring them out now? Oh, my. Looks like we got four good ones. Please.

Please give a big, warm Austin welcome to Mark Norman, Mike McRae, John Erler, and Mark Wahlberg. Paul Byrne. Wow, this is a hot group. This is a sexy panel I've managed to put together. I don't know what you just yelled, but you're sure. Let's meet these Let's meet these polite gentlemen individually. Let's start with this first time appearing on the show

in Austin. It's Mark Norman, everybody! in Austin. It's Mark Norman, everybody. Hey, opening for Louis C.K. over at the ACL. Wait, or was the story you were with Louis C.K. and you tore your ACL? And you got another show tonight or two shows

tonight? How many do you do with him? We've been there since Wednesday. One show a night. Holy shit. Our last one is tonight. Hell of a room over there. Hell of a town. You're having a good time. Great time. Louis, funny. Funny guy. Who knew?

I never heard of him before this. You're in his show, Horace and Pete, right? Oh, that's right. Yes. No one saw it. Let's find out. Who here has seen Horace and Pete? Wow.

These are some hardcore fuckers here in Austin, Texas. I think it's the best place for comedy in maybe the world. Yeah. Definitely this planet. This weekend, for sure. Yeah.

I'm glad this many people turned out because a lot of you are probably seeing Louis at some point this weekend, right? Hey! Alright. There you go. Well, thanks for coming by for this show, dude. I worried I forced it on you. What?

Well, I saw you were coming. I was like, hey, Doug, I'm in Austin. Well, right. And I didn't have, we didn't exchange phone numbers previously. We always wrote to each other on Twitter. And so your number came up and it was, hey, Doug, I'm in Austin. I like went into a panic of like, what area code is this? You know, to figure out who it was

because I knew it wasn't something that someone actually lives in Austin the way you phrased it. Right. And then I realized, but the part where you said opening for Louie, I was like, well, that narrows it down. It's probably Mark Norman.

And then the area code that it's from is the New Orleans area, and I know that's where you're from. Oh, you knew that? I knew that. Wow. So that's why I just wrote back to you. Is this MN?

Yeah. I didn't want to dip in too far in case it wasn't. I thought you meant Minneapolis. Yeah, is this Minneapolis? Yeah, so I'm glad we figured that out. But no, I'm glad that you gave me the heads up that you're here. A lot of times, like Morgan Murphy's on the shows with you. She's now hanging out.

I would have loved to have her on the show if she had just said, hey, I'm going to be around. But instead, she's just hanging around being a... I think she's doing meth. She's a fucking methed out mess. She could be up here clean as a whistle. That's true.

Let's meet everybody else. Starting with I think it's his third time on the show. Austin Comedy Phenom Mike McRae is here, everybody. Thank you. Yes, this is number three.

Number three. You're two away from the five-time guest robes that we give out. I think that's SNL. Based on my performance last time, I'm glad for a third. I did a terrible job at the game.

You were bad at the game. People just freeze up on some of the questions that come up in the game. You've got to understand that. You can't take it personally. Julie Roberts, she kills me. Yeah, Julia Roberts. Why would anybody know that? I know. She's nothing.

Very few Julia Roberts movies. She is not worth our time or trouble. And I commend you on not knowing Julia Roberts films. Thank you. That's the way I try to look at it. Maybe you save some space in your brain for things that matter. Oh, no. Not at all.

Oh, no? Okay. It's all Sigourney Weaver. That's what I did in the first episode. I knew her. I just go right to stepmom with Julia Roberts, even though if I know I save it, it'll probably still be good. I just get it out there. I just throw out stepmom right away.

Who's your latest impression? Oh. You working on somebody new or anything? Am I working on? Well, let's see. What are... I've been trying. I've been working on a Phil Dunphy from Modern Family.

Yes. Do you want to hear my Phil Dunphy? Hit me. It's getting very uncomfortable. Oh. I don't know if I can declare. I guess the newest one I... And now the impressions of my... Like, who introduces impressions with an impression?

What an asshole. Am I on morning radio? Is that what's going on? We use some impressions, pressure too out here. I guess the newest one that I've worked in a little bit was... I really want it. That's dangerously close to Cringer from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Oh, okay.

I don't mind impressions that are dangerously close to other ones. Oh, He-Man, do we have to fight Skeletor? Oh, wow. All right, back to Mike. Stop it. I don't think I can follow any of this at this point. These are some amazing impressions that you have to follow. Did you watch Westworld?

I have watched some of Westworld. I haven't gotten all the way through it, but I hear it ends nicely. People like the ending. I play with Anthony Hopkins' character. Oh, I love it. So Anthony Hopkins. Can we engage other people?

Yes. Now, now, look at you. What a fabulous creation you are. You see, my partner Arnold had a theory that you are you see my partner Arnold had a theory that you could create a man without consciousness whatsoever or conscience just a gauche amalgam

of ego and id driven by his basest needs and desires something that lies beyond psychopathy as we understand it and he was right as he was about so many things. And in the bit that I do it, it makes sense. But here...

It's just sort of an odd stand-alone show. Thank you for being the stand-in for Donald Trump. That was terrifying. I got one. Here we go. Guess what movie. Welcome to the Rock.

Well, I'm guessing it's The Rock. And that is an amazing Sean Connery. Thank you. Looks like you're stuck between a rock and a hard case. That's a great line from that one. You're the man now, dog. Sorry, sorry. It's like dueling Daryl Hammonds up here.

We're not drunk enough. They pull a knife, you pull a gun. Chicago way. We have to meet the other panelists. We've got He was doing a great impression earlier And he always makes a great impression when he's here It's John Erler everybody

Good luck on my cringer The CEO of Master Pancake Now has a new impression under his belt. Oh. He does lots of good ones. Oh, the problem here lies beyond any psychopathy. That's cringer

doing Anthony Hopkins. Yes, it's going deep. Topicated impression. It's the racist desires of man. He may know. Last night I was at the Master Pancake. This is the host version of man. He may know. Last night I was at the Master Pancake. This is the host version of me. The Master Pancake

Nicolas Cage-a-thon in celebration of what is now today is Nicolas Cage's birthday, but you celebrate it all weekend long. That's right. Down at the Alamo Ritz downtown. Why are people laughing at that? That's a good thing to celebrate. Oh, yeah, you gotta celebrate Nick Cage. Celebrate him now while he's still alive.

Because when he's gone, you're gonna be like, oh, I should have celebrated that guy because, you know, whether you like his movies or you hate him, he's giving you something to talk about. It'll just seem mean after he dies when we do that show. Yeah. You should still keep doing it, though.

The RIP Nick Cage-a-thon. And who knows? He might outlast us all. But what? Why are we talking about Nick Cage and whether or not he's alive? Because it's his birthday this weekend. Why are you saying we

like you're in the conversation? why are you saying we like you're in the conversation it's not keep it we it's keep it weird okay she's the host of the show now it's her show now. But yeah, you're right. We should stop talking about it. So anyway, good luck to you, Nick Cage, if you're listening. And last night during the Nick Cage-a-thon, though, I learned, I got the startling realization that you, at one point, you announced I'm Cyrus the Virus,

and you look very much like John Malkovich in Con Air. Yeah, do you want to hear my impersonation? I'd love to, sure. Oh, I'm Cyrus the Virus. We gotta fly this plane out of here. Hope I don't have to do it John earlier got a little

Personal publicity Just recently Because I saw it this morning I woke up to it on the local news What is it? Flush the What did it say on your sign? Flush the bill

Flush the bill Yeah, they're gonna try to do a new Bathroom bill in Texas Like they're going to try to do a new bathroom bill in Texas like they tried in North Carolina. Yeah. And that worked out so well for them. Right. That Texas and the GOP idiots who control Texas

have decided to do their own version of it. So, yeah, I went to a protest the other day. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's footage of him And pictures in newspapers and stuff Or online anyway Of you holding a flush the bill sign

Yeah Because it's a bathroom bill So you say flush the bathroom bill away I can't get anything past you I don't know some of the other signs I didn't get what they were doing

were there some people protesting other things just standing nearby you some people were somebody brought the book Everybody Poops my friend Jordan who comes to a lot

of the pancake shows he brought that and there were a couple others no they were mostly on point signs yeah we brought on point signs alright to a lot of the pancake shows. He brought that. And there were a couple others. No, they were mostly on-point signs. Yeah, we brought on-point signs. All right. Yeah.

And we booed real loud outside the chamber where they were making the announcement, so I guess we disrupted it. I don't know. Like, I thought they were going to kick us out because we were booing so loud, but I guess on the live cast, the live stream of the announcement,

somebody was saying, there sounds like demon spirits chanting outside. Outside the hall. So I guess we were effective. Yeah. Goddamn demons. Speaking of demons, I'm good on you for doing that, John, earlier.

Mark Wahlberg is here. We've got nothing to fear. Mark Wahlberg is here. We've got nothing to fear. Mark Wahlberg is here. How you guys doing? You doing good? Fucking A, right you are. What's up, Austin? You're one letter away

from sounding like a perfect city. Put a B in there, we could have so much in fucking common. I love this fucking sound. What's up, Doug? What, uh... Anyone else hard?

They're Americans. They're fucking hard. What's up, Doug? How you doing, buddy? I'm just looking at the people sitting behind you just making sure they're enjoying themselves. They get to be back there.

It's quite a privilege. What are you doing in town, dude? Shooting a movie. We're actually researching it. We haven't started shooting yet. Oh, really? Yeah. What natural disaster or horrible event

happened in Austin that you're going to save us from? It depends on how you look at it. It's called When to Let Go, The Mac Brown Story. Oh. It's about a dude who fucking turns his program to the dominance that it should fucking be, waits too long to leave,

and then makes these fuckers wish he was back so fucking hard. I couldn't follow any of that. You will. It's going to win so many fucking Oscars. Congratulations on Patriots Day. Everybody's loving Patriots Day. Fuck yeah, man.

It's a good fucking movie about a real tragedy that happened and how people came together to tell some people not in this fucking country. How do you feel about the whole flush the bill thing? What the fuck is going on with that shit? I told them. I'm like, they wanted to shoot Transformers 9 in... You're right. We're planning it.

Don't fucking worry. In North Carolina. I'm like, we're not fucking doing that. I don't want to go in there. Is that how they want to treat people? Who thinks that their shit is that fucking precious? Unless you're me. We got to regulate

where you dump? No, you don't. Dump in your fucking driveway for all I care. I don't think people would want to dump in their own driveway. is a kind of an epithet.

What's that? Transformers is an epithet. I don't think that's the word. Oh, no, no. Transformers is a fucking golden egg of life that was given to this country. And it shows about people getting along.

And if people come and try to fuck up your ship, telling you what you can and can't do, whether those people happen to be robots from a terrestrial plane that doesn't need to exist anymore, or they're people with ties who think they know fucking better than you because they can hold up something called a bibble, fuck those motherfuckers.

The Bible? The Bible? The Bible? Whatever you want to call it, sir. Everybody has a different way of interpreting it. For you, it's the Holy Bibble. Not everybody has to call it the bibble. I'm just fucking hopped up right now. I'm in character still.

I play Vince Young. Did I say that? What? I saw that motherfucker stand on a table with confetti, and I'm like, I'm gonna do that some fucking time. Points. You son of a bitch

Okay so Anthony Hopkins Have you ever worked with him Mark Wahlberg I don't believe we have Worked together Have we I don't think so

Is that you That is Well he does An Anthony Hopkins impression I don't pay attention Until I get introduced Oh okay Wow that was a long stretch.

You didn't hear anything? I was going over my lines. Wait, what lines? Hey, what did you say at the beginning? When to let go of the map. How's everybody doing? Oh, you were memorizing your lines from your new movie. Yeah, for sure.

Oh, sorry. Multitasking this shit. No, I don't think Anthony Hopkins... But you're a great young talent. I would like to work with you at some point. You and everybody else. Was I? That's not...

You know Anthony Hopkins is very, you know, he's like knighted. He's Sir Anthony Hopkins. He's phenomenal. Yeah. Okay. If that dude had looks,

he could almost be me. I just... Were we in... In my younger days, the girls would have looked at me, not you, but... Are you for real? Are you kidding me, dude?

Have you seen... Whatever. I saw you on Westworld and I'm like, this little man Tate, motherfucker. Young Anthony Hopkins. You're good at voices, man. God bless you. We should fucking prank call Donnie.

You can offer Donnie roles. Yeah, offer him a part in Westworld The next season Yeah Yeah, we'll offer him a part And then right when he gets really excited And all fucking teary eyed You can just hand me the phone

I'll be like, fuck you Donnie, it's a joke Do your chores And then I'll hang up He might just think you were kidding, though, and think he still has the part. You have to be very clear with him. He's an easily confused young man. Yeah.

No, and then we should make a movie and then put him in it, shoot the whole fucking thing, and then never release it. You're really great at pranks. I just want to ask everybody before we proceed to the next part of the show, the question I always ask,

start with you, John, earlier, what was the last motion picture you saw? And clips from Nicolas Cage movies doesn't count. Damn it. I watched... And I'm just checking on the Internet, and ma'am, he's still alive. We're good.

Sing Street. I watched Sing Street. Sing Street is terrific. It was pretty good. I love that movie. It was moderately positive. Right? It was a very positive, uplifting experience. It was good.

About how writing music can... Make you tough enough to beat up the bully in the school. Yeah, and meet a girl and give you confidence. Go across the English Channel in a tiny boat

and almost get destroyed by the Titanic. That doesn't... I don't think that happens. You didn't stay all the way to the end, did you? No, I don't remember. It's a long movie.

Titanic. I thought this movie took place like in the 80s. It did, but there was a big... Do you remember the final scene? It was like a Titanic-like boat? Yes. Oh, okay. Sorry.

That's like calling any tall building The Empire State Building So you like the film I like the film Let's move on Mike what was the last movie you saw I forget is this last new movie Just the last movie I watched

Whatever you saw recently you could speak on. Copland. I enjoy that movie. You did? Yeah. Okay. Are there any boats or as I like to call them,

titanics in that movie? There's a car that falls off a bridge so it's kind of floating for a while. Oh, there you go. The titanic is probably just off to the left. Just waiting to make an appearance. It has almost everybody who was in The Sopranos right before The Sopranos came out.

That's fun to see. That's on the plus side. And it's directed by James Mangold. James Mangold, yeah. Who did the new Logan, which is the new installment in Wolverine movies. And I saw the first 40 minutes of it, thanks to Harry Knowles and his button-up-a-thon here in Austin.

And I've got to tell you, I cannot wait for that movie to come out. It was so good. Really? Yeah. Okay, cool. It's got a director that normally directs drama, but it's also got Wolverine swearing

and with really awesome hardcore violence. It's R-rated Wolverine. It kind of makes all the previous Wolverines, they're going to look stupid by comparison. They're like, why is this guy that says fuck all the time, why is he so genteel all of a sudden

in all of these other movies? Patrick Stewart swears also. Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me. He's like, this fucking wheelchair. I still have my legs if it weren't for that fucking Eric Lenz here. Yeah, that. You do it better than me, so you're in charge of that. You're in charge of that riff.

I get scooped on everything. Have you seen him on that show Blunt Talk? I haven't seen it, but he's very saucy on that. And he's in the movie Green Room. He plays a white supremacist dude who's very scary. He's one of the few guys I've seen in real life

and it was the funniest thing. It was at a restaurant in Los Angeles and he was wearing like a rugby and it had giant stripes on it. It looked like something a teenager in England would wear. And he was next to like a 25 year old woman

and she was just fucking rubbing his head. And he was like, oh, yes. Yes. Just in front of everyone. It was fucking great. Get famous. That's the only

thing there is to say about that. She's about to blow him and he goes, engage. I'm glad I was here for you to sort of rub. I was like, should I go for it full on? I just met you today. Erotically rub your head. Could have just used Mark's head. I had to control myself.

Run your fingers through that hair. Mark, have you been to the movies lately? I know you're out on tour. I watched a movie on demand in the hotel last night. Yeah, you just yelled until somebody showed it to you? Does that work? There's a guy in room 402. He's making us show him a movie.

I demanded it. It's so expensive that you've got to watch the whole thing. It's like more than the theater. It's crazy. Let's be honest. Louie's paying for it. gotta watch the whole thing. It's like more than the theater. It's crazy. Let's be honest. Louis is paying for it. You can fucking watch it. Alright. You got me there. But yeah.

He got a movie on demand and I didn't want to leave his hotel room. It was pretty exciting. And we were fucking. That literally did not happen at all. That's just an inaccurate statement. Was that Louis or he was a lawyer? But yeah.

That was your Louie impression? Yeah. He's literally, that literally did not happen. That was vaguely an accurate statement. He just, my opener just lies. Just literally just tells lies about fucking me. That's not bad. That's really good.

That'll be weird. Please continue lying. So yeah, we watched this movie. And we didn't fuck. And it was called Vice 2015 Nobody's seen it ever And it's straight to DVD

Bruce Willis hasn't even seen it Bruce Willis is in it That's what I'm saying We saw Bruce Willis, we were blown away that he was in it Also Thomas Jane of Hung Yeah I've seen him around Hollywood with no shoes on Is that right?

What a dick But what was it You watched the whole thing really? Whole thing and it's so bad It's so cheap and the lighting's terrible, and the dialogue is ridiculous. There's a dirty cop, and he's got long hair, and he gets his badge taken away,

but then he goes back out there on his own. He has a matchstick in his mouth the whole movie. It was great. It's bad, but you've got to see it. All right, it's called Vice. Vice, Thomas Jane. No, I'm hung. Vice. Thomas Jane.

No, I'm hung. That sounds like you were asked to do an ad for that movie. Please, just talk about it, even if you didn't like it. Just say something about Vice. We're getting killed by Vice, the TV show and the TV network. Everything's called

Vice right now. I know, a lot of Vice. Vice President. I saw... I also saw Arrival. You see Arrival? Yeah, that was solid. There's only one movie per guest, and you picked Vice.

Damn it. Fucking Louie. He made me watch it. Don't fucking blame me for the terrible choices you made He's kind of a Woody Allen at some point Alright Okay, Mark Which one?

Oh, Wahlberg We were just talking to you, Mark What's up, buddy? Dude, you know what I saw? What? I saw the lobster. Is that a true story? No, it's...

Like, is it that hard for fucking normos to find people? No, it's like some sort of dystopian future where you have to, if you're single, you have to go to a hotel. Oh, my God. Literally, I was like, all these fucking civilians, this is what they got to do? All I would have to do is walk outside and be like,

who's ready? Yeah, you wouldn't even have to pick an animal to be when you're reincarnated after failing to find a mate. But if you did have to pick an animal, what would it be, Mark? Obviously, an otter. Okay, let's back up a second. You said obviously?

Yeah. Like that's a slam slam dunk everybody would make it choice or yeah obvious for you for you obviously for me why why what's your connection to otters because everybody loves a fucking otter everybody fucking loves me and otters you may not know it but they will fuck you up on a dime what yeah dude i just don't give a shit they're violent yeah dude i saw an ot't give a shit, dude. They're violent? Yeah, dude. I saw an otter throw a Molotov cocktail into a fucking convenience store. That cannot be true.

Literally, it's fucking true, dude. I go, otter, what the fuck? He's like, fuck you, dude. I was like, if you weren't an otter, I swear to God, I would kill you right now. And ever since then, I'm like, I would be a fucking otter.

Hey, Louis C.K., what would you be if you had to pick an animal to be reincarnated as? Probably a sugar glider. What? I don't know, or a battery. I don't know. Just who gives a shit? Who fucking gives a shit?

That's pretty much why That's why my friend Louis CK has never been on the podcast Pretty much in a nutshell The dumbest questions I've ever fucking I'm so glad to finally have you on the show And find out That I should not have wanted it so badly Because that's exactly how it would go.

I don't know. Louie answering trivia questions. I don't care. I've never seen a movie. I don't know. I don't... What would you be, Doug? And don't say giraffe.

Wait, why? Why is that off the table? Nobody trusts giraffes. It's like, what the fuck are you doing up there? Just be a fucking horse or be a snake, but don't be fucking both. What purpose? Don't be a giraffe.

What would you be, Doc? Don't you dare say giraffe. Now I'm leaning towards horse snake. Don't you dare say giraffe Now I'm leaning towards horse snake Now's the part of the show where I say Let the games begin Alright so lots of people made awesome name tags And gentlemen You have to select who you'd like to play for.

Holy hell. And while you do that, I'm going to ramble into the microphone because we don't have any ads on this episode. I choose to grab the con. Just go grab whatever. You like that one? Grab it from her. Get it out of her hand. I'm going to go with this Saturday.

Lots of good ones. I'm not going to. Vin this Saturday. Lots of good ones. What's Love Spence Survivor? Oh, Lone Spence Survivor. What? Mark? What? Did I fuck up? No, the other Mark. There's a Lone Survivor name tag, Mark. Mark!

Mark, there's a lone survivor name tag, Mark. Mark! Mark! Come save this guy's life, Mark. I have candy. There's a lone survivor right up front, Mark. Mark, don't give him a tag!

Oh, there's some Krispy Kremes over there. Looks like a really fun protest. This is why we go to commercial during this part. Mark Wahlberg, you want to... Yeah, John's just going to come back with a flush the bill sign. Throw those donuts up here, just for fun. Yeah, Mark likes throwing donuts at the crowd. Just throw them up.

Wait, don't throw them at us. Shit, that was bad. All right. Thank you. Sorry madam, you okay? You okay? She almost died, she's reporting from the scene Mark, use your microphone voice please Who's fucking throwing shit up here? Because you hit somebody. I swear to God, you better say,

I'm sorry, I'm going to go otter all over your fucking ass. Sorry! I did not want to see the angry otter rise up this soon. I'm sorry, Doug, but you do not fucking hit somebody without saying the words,

do you think you're better than me first? What the fuck is wrong with you people? Have some decorum. I don't want to rain on the parade there, Wahlberg, but I think otter is a gay term. What? Fine. I'll be whatever the fuck you want me to be. Come at me.

Otters are the best, dude. They swim on their back and hold hands with people. People love fucking otters. Until they fuck you up. Alright, if you say so. So Mark, Norman, you just wanted to eat some donuts. That's why you said bring those donuts up here? I was going to taste one and throw the rest.

Oh, okay. But you chose somebody else's name tag. Yeah. Okay. Is that wrong? No, you work in the system. Because, you know, people will give us the donuts after we don't select them to play for.

Like this lovely box of Krispy Kremes right here. The girl who got hit, if you're in any sort of pain, let me know and I'll let you make fun of Donnie with me later and you'll feel a lot better. He won't. Wow.

Is that a cruller? Box full of them, man. I guess it's kind of a round crawler. When you guys go to these donut shops, do you be like, yeah, can I get a box of regret? How's that work? Now, where's the person that hit this lady with the box of donuts?

That's you? Oh, it bounced off him and hit another lady. Oh, no. Easy, Mark. Dude, the Tom Cruise movie was right. Collateral damage is

terrible. Wait, there was a sports day or movie that was straight up called Collateral Damage. It would have been so much better if I said that. But there's still that was straight up called Collateral Damage. It would have been so much better if I said that. But there's still a Tom Cruise movie

called Collateral. Does anybody else want one before I start throwing them wildly? Wait, why do you want one? You got a whole box in your lap. Those are different.

It's like a halfie. You want to split this into a wall? No, I don't need those calories and neither do you. You want some of this wall? No, I don't need those calories and neither do you. You want some of this, uh... Alec?

Actually, can I get a margarita on the rocks? No salt, two limes, and serve it to me topless? Guy or girl? Why would you want there to be no top to your margarita? It just shows, like, a level of caring. This is some real zoo shit right here. I tried to get that guy in the back there. Gotta angle it in just right.

Oh, she handed it off to him. For the listener at home, people are acting like they've never had a donut before. They all eat them right off the ground. It's amazing. You're like Chris Pratt in the new Jurassic Park. Come here, guys. Come here.

Turn that down. All right, so Mark's got something standing by for if at any point you want to throw some donuts, Mark, just go nuts. All right. All right. We got some got something standing by for if at any point you want to throw some donuts, Mark, just go nuts. All right. All right. We got some games to play. Yeah.

And this first game I'm very excited about because I want to start with Alex's Jason and Deb's IMDb game. Yeah. And is Alex here? He's here and he's got a microphone. He's heading to the stage. It's Alex Diamond, everybody. Yeah, big Al. Star of the Jason and Deb Morning Show.

Hi, hello. How's it going? On 101X Alternative, what's it called? Alternative Austin. Yeah, there you go. Just 101X, that's fine. Okay, 101X, thank you for being's fine Thank you for being here I love the game that you introduced me to

On the show with Jason and Deb Now there's controversy Everyone's arguing over who created the game But as long as I'm the person on the podcast I invented it Yeah that seems legit Because I'm not going to have either of them back on This audience here They decided it, they voted it seems legit because I'm not going to have either of them back on.

This audience here, they decided it. They voted it and they won't be back. But I still love them and hopefully we'll see them again next St. Patrick's Day. We'll do the annual St. Patrick's Day show. Join us at the Irish pub.

One time we played the Jason and Deb game and every answer was since it was St. Patrick's Day, every answer was like O'Connor, O'Connell. It was all O names. Yeah, I've done. And that was a very clever theme that you worked into that one. I've done redheads for the Irish

tie-in there. Yeah, there you go. Every once in a while I'll try to mix it up with a theme. So explain the rules how you normally would explain it because I would like you to administer the game tonight. I will play as well, and whoever comes in second place to me will be determined the winner of this particular game. Yeah, I'm going in cocky.

I will read you titles off of IMDb. IMDb on each actor or actress's page has a known for section, has four things listed there, and I will read them in order. It could be a movie. It could also be a television program. And you would buzz in with your name

whenever you think you know the answer. You get one point for a correct answer, negative points for wrong answers. And if you guessed before, I've said all four movies or TV shows, you can guess what is remaining for some bonus points as well. Does that make sense?

No. Yeah, see, I describe that whole thing every time, pretty much like that, maybe missing one or two things, and people are always still very confused by it. I thought that was a very good description of it. There's a lot of rules in, like, four seconds. A lot of take-ins.

But the main thing is, is buzz in with your own name. And also, there's another game after this one. So you can, if you lose, it's no big deal. But wait, so basically, you say a movie, I buzz in when I know the actor. Yeah, but the movies, several movies, that actor's been in on their top four on their IMDb page. Oh, got it, got it. Did anyone else bring anything for the fact? Yeah, we knew we'd get there. And the top four

is determined either by how important they were to the movie, if they also wrote or produced it or something like that. And then also, apparently, actors can go in now and arrange their own top four, though very few do. If Nick Cage arranged his top four,

Vampire's Kiss would be in there. He's proud of his work in that. But we don't need to get all four. Huh? No, you're going to hear the first one, and you can guess then, but chances are you won't know yet. I'm going to slowly go through them, and then at any point, you can just jump in, say Mark, and then I would go to you, and you would say who you think it is.

And then if there's any remaining, you can guess those for bonus points if you're correct. Does that make sense? What if I say Mark and he says not Mark? I could say Donnie. He doesn't deserve to have a chance at winning anything. Good answer. I think we'll know the difference between your two voices.

You can say Mark or whatever you want. I'll say Otter. Okay, there you go. He'll say Otter and Mark will say Mark. If I ring in as Anthony Hopkins, can I force Mike to answer the question? Yes. Great.

All right. So Alex, take it away Do your thing Rushmore Alright, so you could say your name But there's a lot of people in Rushmore So which person does he mean in this case? Doug

I'm going to say Jason Schwartzman That's correct Fucking nailed it I knew that Alright so I get to name three more Jason Schwartzman Yeah in any order Movies and hopefully They'll be in there yeah this isn't gonna

Go well The Grand Budapest Hotel Moonrise Kingdom And I gotta say it just because it's my favorite, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Next three are Darjeeling Limited, Grand Budapest Hotel, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. So that's two points. I'll take that point.

Thank you very much. Nice, nice. Did that make sense to you, Mark? Which one? You didn't say Otter, dude. Oh, right, right. I got it. But if I had been wrong, I would have gotten negative one,

and it could have easily gone the Bill Murray way. Could have gone Bill Murray. Okay, here we go. This one actually starts with a TV show. Oh. Avatar, The Last Airbender. Oh, God. Wait for it.

Movie, The Duff. Oh, I know what it is. The audience knows. Someone in the front knows what it is. Movie, Independence Day. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Avatar, The Last Airb. Movie Independence Day. Uh-huh. Avatar, The Last Airbender, TV show. Uh-huh.

The Duff, Independence Day. Oh, I'm sorry. We do four on this. I'm used to... On our radio show, we only do three. Oh, okay. Do four. The fourth one is The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Does that help anybody? I doubt it. Wait, should I guess? I'll guess, Doug

Doug, risk it all Or half of what you have Mae Whitman That's correct Oh, wow Dear Cap City Comedy May I have another Tito's and soda? Thank you very much

Do you want a top one? Love, love, Doug I'll get a Jack and Diet. Stella. Stella! Doug has three. Everybody else holding steady at zero. Which is not

a bad thing. I've seen it get really ugly really fast with the negatives. So, if you don't know, don't chance it. Be careful, you guys. Be careful. One of you might get some points. This is over already.

Are they harder now? Because Mae Whitman, I don't even know. That was a tough one. Mae Whitman was a tough one. Okay, go ahead. The Avengers. Doug. Ah, come on.

Do you want to know the year? No, it's Chris Evans. Jesus, yes, it is Chris Evans. Oh, wow. He's figured it out. He's figured it out. How did you do, though? Because Jason Schwartzman, May Whitman, and Chris Evans

are all in Scott Pilgrim. Why are we even here? because Jason Schwartzman, Mae Whitman, and Chris Evans are all in Scott Pilgrim. Ah. Why are we even here? The rest of us. Wow. When you said you wanted me to come on so you could play, I didn't know it would be like this. No, I know.

I didn't know it would be electric shocks. I thought I'd be competitive. I didn't know. Do you want to go ahead and get three bonus points here? Yes, please. Captain America Civil War. Sorry. I'm just pretty sure that's going to be in the top four. Wait, what was the first one you said?

The Avengers. Okay, so that leaves Captain America The first time out And Captain Oh Captain America The Winter Soldier I ran the board With Captain America

But I got one of the titles wrong For the audience at home You don't get a drink If you're a god damn Fucking movie star Thanks drink if you're a goddamn fucking movie star. Thanks. I'm gonna say something. You know what comes next.

You think you're better than me? Alex, what's happening? You got two correct. Three if you don't care about how accurate you are on the titles. What's the first of them? Captain America, the first Avenger. I got two more. I'm up to six.

Yep. Next round. Wow. Number four. Superman returns. Come on. Ready, go. You guys paid a pretty cheap ticket

to watch Doug jerk off. Hey. Hey, Alex. Can I ask you a question? Please. Have you ever been in a fight? Today? No, not in a while. Cool, tell me what it's like to lose one in about five minutes. I mean,

Perfect Storm, there's tons of fucking movies you could have done. Let the rest of the guys play this one out. See what happens. I'll sit out. Okay, you're not buzzing?

Pretend I didn't buzz in. I didn't hear the title. John. John. Brandon Routh. Brandon Routh is correct. Who the fuck is Brandon Routh? He was in Superman Returns.

That's all I can tell you. So far, that's all you can say, but John can get three more points. Actually, John can't get three more points. Unless Superman the first time is a movie. Superman Civil War. Superman Winter Soldier. Are those your guesses for real?

Yes. We were looking for Scott Pilgrim versus the world. Why didn't I say that? Why didn't I say that? Why didn't I say that? TV show Chuck And TV show Legends of Tomorrow See?

Who's seen Legends of Tomorrow? I have John Earler's on the board with one point Sorry to interrupt your jerk fest We have too many festivals in this town You need to start Doug Benson jerk fest I would go Okay I'm back in again

Okay What does that mean? So you have a point Doug has six points I would go. Okay, I'm back in again. Okay. What does that mean? So you have a point. Doug has six points. Everybody else has zero points. You're in the lead, kind of. Is this like the last round?

This is the last round. Okay, good. Here we go. Unless it goes to tiebreaker. John. Do you want to do it? I'll let you do it. Let's do it. Come on.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah, just go. No, say the thing first. Come on, do it. Just take a guess? Yeah. Fuck. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, just go. No, say the thing first. Come on, do it. Just take a guess? Yeah. Fuck. Oh, Michael Cera.

That's correct. Man. That's what happens. Do you want to get four bonus points and tie with Doug officially? Wow. Yeah, if you could name four Michael Cera movies that are on that list,

you will still be one point behind me. Or TV shows. You tie me. Arrested Development. Is that on there? You gotta say four things. You just rattle off four things in any order.

Arrested Development, Juno, Scott Pilgrim the first time. Oh, New Year's Night, Big Night, New Year Adventure with music in it. Oh, Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist? That's what I was about to say there. That's your four? That's my four. Okay, we were looking for Juno, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World,

Superbad, and Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. Not bad, not bad. Not bad at all. So close. So exciting. Thank you, John. And the rest of the panel, better luck next time.

Yes, if you didn't figure it out, the theme was those are Ramona Flowers' Evil Exes in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. My favorite movie of all time. Had to give it. Yeah. I like it a lot, too. So it was kind of a jerk fest that you picked that particular movie. Yeah. But you paid me a bunch of money before we came up here to do that.

Uh-huh. Is that true? I may be high, but I wouldn't have brought up Scott Pilgrim before we did that, which is what happened tonight, if I knew that was going to happen. Ladies and gentlemen, Alex Diamond. Thank you, Alex. Thank you. I did.

I know I'm not required as a special guest host or whatever, but I did bring something for the prize bag. Oh, shit. I just said your name like that was when you're supposed to leave. I know. And we're still talking to you. I just briefly wanted to say. Is that how Jerkfest

works? I'm starting to like Jerkfest. I thought when I was finished, it announced it. Now what'd you bring for the bag? Thank you for bringing something. This is the interruptus portion of Jerkfest. I brought, because I forgot to last time, I brought a bunch of VHSs from Moppy and Papa's VHS collection.

There's some good ones. There's Rush Hour, Maverick, and also there's Miami Rhapsody. So they can't all be good. You got Vice in there? Nope. They should just direct to VHS a movie that they think is going to be

super shitty. Just in case. Yeah, what DVD? It could make a comeback like Vinyl's doing. Yeah. You can really feel the quality on VHS. But anyway, there's for the prize back. Thanks for having me, Doug. Thank you so much, Alex.

Thanks for everybody. And apologies. Get him! Get him! What the hell? Oh, shit. Wow. Wow.

Mark Wahlberg. I'm sorry. Otter threw a donut in Alex's back. I said, do you think you're the better than me? You think a hit's not going to eventually come after that? You know, it's funny. You had really given us the warning that that's how it worked. Maybe this place doesn't sell tequila.

The true beauty of an untamed beast. Wait a minute. I'm just looking around to see if somebody's going to say something. Why is there all this dead air with all you guys right now? I'm just waiting for a drink.

We all got trounced in this last game. Oh, you feel bad about how the game went? Yeah. I feel fucking great. I feel pretty good. I feel like the game's gotten harder.

Well, that was a, you know, Mae Whitman was a tough one, and you know, it wasn't an easy round of that game, but once I figured out he was doing Scott Pilgrim, then that's what made it easy for me. That's like a Thanksgiving movie? What is that fucking movie? Which one?

Scott Pilgrim? Yeah. Yeah, it's one Pilgrim decides, holy shit, what are we doing here? Which one? Scott Pilgrim? Yeah. Yeah, it's one pilgrim decides, holy shit, what are we doing here? I'm going to fight back. And then he's such a doofus that even the Indians

are mad at him. So he has to fight the world. Shit. Yeah, it's one pilgrim fighting everybody. Should have called it Scott Pilgrim versus the new world then.

Well, you know, it's already a long title and, you know, it gets a little cumbersome. Transformers, Age of Extinction. What's the one you're in called? Oh. I didn't think you'd know.

Dark Side of the Moon, bro. Oh, really? No. Dark Side of the Moon? No, that was the one that they messed up on like, we love you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it and you're a nice person. Wait, what was all that talk about not drinking earlier

and now you got a tequila? What's that? Nothing? Okay. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Do you want what I brought for the gift bag or later? What? We didn't talk about the name tags. We didn't do the gift bag or later? What? We didn't talk about the name tags. We didn't do the gift bag.

I was so excited about Alex being here. Let's pretend that whole thing with Alex didn't happen. Yes. Fuck yeah. I hate Alex. It's like we're all starting over fresh and new. And yes, what... So everyone's back to zero points? You were anyway. No, that's what I'm saying.

I mean, it's everyone. I don't, you know, I mean, I'm not playing to win. I'm just playing just for fun. And to win. I couldn't have, that couldn't have gone better in my mind. I thought I'd do well, but that was silly. You flew here to beat us. Yeah, that was my whole intention.

But we do have to talk about what you brought for the prize bag and who you're playing for. Those are key elements of this program, starting with you, John. Okay. I'm re-gifting you... Oh, I like this already. Something my sister got me for Christmas.

She... Who's not a podcast listener. She... Some people who follow me on Facebook may know what this is. It's one of the best Christmas presents I've gotten. And there you go. It is a bag of TSA confiscated knives.

These belong to real people who didn't make it through TSA. Or if they did, they had to relinquish these items. And TSA decided to make a quick buck on the side. They didn't spare any expense in the packaging. As you can see, it's scotch tape together.

I had nothing to do with that. It's a weird thing to have in such flimsy wrapping is pointy fucking knives. Like as you handed to me, I went, this feels sharp. They're mostly like Swiss Army knives and switchblades. There's a little cork coming out of that one.

Have you ever had anything confiscated at TSA? I don't think I have. I mean, maybe if I forgot that I had a bottle of shampoo or a bottle of water or something. You're pretty smart about how you travel. I haven't had them confiscate any weed stuff. Usually like a

pipe or something, they'll pick it up. At most, they'll pick it up and look at it and put it back. What are you about to do? You're like, have you ever had this happen? Have you ever had anything confiscated? Then he reaches into his breast pocket like a fucking movie villain.

I'm not going to hurt you, Doug. Yeah, what else do you have? It's a paper. It's a sheet of paper. It's an invitation to the inauguration of the new governor of North Carolina, Roy Cooper. Okay. Yeah, who defeated the evil ex-governor, GOP Governor McCrory,

who was one of the proponents of the bathroom bill. It's an invitation to his inauguration, which is happening today. It's happening. It's happened. It's happening tonight. Tonight at 10. Tonight at 10, their time, North Carolina time. So it's a couple hours later than here.

One hour later than here, I think. And then... Okay, so this is an invite. So someone could try to make it to this? Somebody could. Does anybody go to North Carolina tonight? The winner of this tonight could just kick... just bust ass to North Carolina.

You know what? If you win and you want to go, I'll let you use the fucking jet. But Donnie's got to fly it. I'm going to be at Good Nights in Raleigh on Saturday, February 18th. So thanks for helping me plug that. And I'm reaching in one more time.

I don't want you to get worried. Reaching in one more time for one last thing. It is a DVD copy of Red Dawn. There you go. Not for political reasons or anything. Not because we've been taken over by the Russians in a non-military coup.

And if only Patrick Swayze were still alive we would be okay, but unfortunately he wasn't here to protect us this time. It is sad. I heard he was buried with all of his knives. Yeah, they got confiscated It's good There's a better angle on it

We'll just do a quick edit Hey I heard he got He wanted to be buried with his knives But they were confiscated How do you come up with these? It just happens, man. What do you got for the bag, Mike? I forgot about the whole bag aspect

until this morning. That's plenty of time. I had to go to Barnes & Noble this morning anyway, so I got a Justin Bieber official, so this isn't some bootleg shit. This is a Justin Bieber Official So this isn't some bootleg shit This is a Justin Bieber

18 month calendar So You gotta get well into the next year Yeah, so this will take you far into the next year Before you get around And it'll be a collector's item I also have an official Jeff Tate

Make Jeff Tate, make Jeff Tate again hat. And this is a special one because he specifically gave this to me about six months ago to give to radio personality Matt Bearden. And I just never did it. I've seen Matt about 17 times since then. Matt could have been a guest today, but no,

we get his hat. Could you give this to Matt Bairdon? Probably. He wears hats like this. He always brings little notepads to give away. The hat's much better. He's a better guest when he's not here. Was that a Jeff Tate? Were you doing a Jeff Tate impression, dude?

What? Yeah, I don't talk like a normal person. Holy shit, that's pretty good, bro. Yeah, I want a beard and to wear the hat because he wears those. Dude, if you talk like... Mike could be all of my guests. I don't have to mess with any of you guys.

All you got to do is... I just got some scotch to make up for these other two worthless things. Dude, your Jeff Tate's good, man. If we dressed you up like a background actor from Sons of Anarchy,

you would crush it. Oh, fuck. Oh, Jesus. I fucking like it. It's turned into a Jeff Tate roast, but thank you for bringing all that stuff, Mike McRae.

Nice looking. And Mark Norman, you remember the prize bag, right? Well, this is so last minute, so I had to cobble together a few things. Translation, he stole items from the club. We got a Red Bull can. Trail mix.

And, uh... trail mix and I got a CD of the comic who's headlining this weekend Greg Warren Greg Warren's great that's a great gift also I brought a bag of VHS tapes and

I'd like to point out that I thought I was joking when I said he stole items from the club. Oh. I was trying to scoop you. I thought that was a joke. Oh, you scooped me there, Tate. And I got a box of donuts here. I had no idea.

No idea you were a thief. Mark Norman. Still working on my jet tape. I could also be Jim Florentine I could do that I got all the low voices covered That's my only trick Solid

Thanks buddy I want to have a you Give me the stuff There you go This is a heavy ass bag You're like a fat kid on Halloween Or me every day of the year There you go. This is a heavy ass bag. You're like a fat kid on Halloween. Or me every day of the year.

What is this? Dude, I brought a collector edition of The Italian Job on DVD. What? Let me guess what's collector about it. Okay, go ahead. Is it because you touched it? That makes it worth something. It's a collector because it's pre-Blu- you touched it? That makes it worth something. It's a collector

because it's pre-Blu-ray. What? Yeah, dude. Now they have a thing called Blu-ray, I guess, and it's fucking the jams. Oh, I see. But it's really good. Donnie Sutherland's in that, the only successful Donnie. And I'm... Am I supposed to tell you who I'm playing for, too, or later? What? Am I supposed to tell you

who I'm playing for, too? Well, that's what I was going to work into next, so go ahead. I'm playing for? Well, that's what I was going to work into next So go ahead I am playing for the little mic maid And he put his glasses wearing beard having face on the little mermaid Yep, because if you're a boy who wants to be a mermaid Do it, who gives a shit? Yeah Transformers

And then shit in any ocean you want. Fuck yeah, dude. Any body of water is your bathroom. It's your riptide shit in it. All right, good. That was a good message, Mark. Thank you. Now, this one I've seen before.

It's beautiful. Oh, really? Yeah. Mark Norman has a... Saturday Night Dance enchantment under the CJ. Yeah, but you know what movie that's a reference to? Back to the Few. Yeah, that's right.

For people who say a shorter version of it. The old Back to the Few movies. Wait a minute. On the back it says shithead. What does that mean? Well, you know, at the end of the show we say if you lose tonight, which my money's on you to win. Wow, bad bet. Yeah, right? But if you lose tonight, which my money's on you to win. Wow, bad bet.

But if you lose tonight, I have to say, whoever they say on the back of that, I have to call them a shithead. It's a little shithead shout-out. And they put it in an envelope on the back. That's really fancy. Good job. Good job, CJ. Who are you playing for, Mike?

This is Zeti Alpha 5! We're playing for Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Kondria. Revenge is a bowl best smoked in space. It's very chill in space. They couldn't choose one pun so they went with both. I like that. And this is awesome.

So yeah. Right here. Yeah, there you go. If you want to make a good name tag for this show, make it so. He's not in that. No, I just wanted him to do the impression again. It's the wrong captain. He's not in that one. Yeah, but please

can you just say make it so? Make it so. Thank you. John, who are you playing for? I'm playing for a guy named Rhodes, I guess. Rhodes House. And he's got my face next to Swayze's face. We need Swayze now more than ever, so.

And then the infamous fight with the guy that says, I used to rape guys like you in prison.ze's face. We need Swayze now more than ever. And then the infamous fight with the guy that says, I used to rape guys like you in prison. That's right. At the bottom. Yeah, classic. Very full-throated fellow. Thank you, five people.

Yeah. Six people. Good choice there, John. Thank you. So those people have a chance to win tonight after we play one more game, and that game is going to be Last Man Stanton. Let's do this shit.

Hooray. We're going to get the name of an actor or actress from a predetermined audience member. Thank you to the people who write to me on Twitter and say, I have the perfect name. And then we find out, you know, it's John Leguizamo. But, um... Which isn't a bad one. But anyway...

The past. We're gonna get a name from somebody in the audience and then you guys will all take turns naming movies they've been in. John, you came in a glorious second place in that first game so you get to go first. Then we'll go to Mike and Mark

and Mark and Otter, excuse me. Otter and then me. I'll play along. But you guys all get one lifeline. The person whose name tag you chose, you can go to them once for help with your answer. And whatever they answer, you have to decide if you want to use that or not.

And that's about it I think good luck everybody where is Justin Smith 58 hey man why 58 on your name there

it was available so many Justin Smith's you went through 57 so many great numbers you could put after well I'm sure 69 was also taken and a lot of the other comedy ones Justin Smith 007 was probably already taken a lot of great ones you You went 58 because... Because it was available. There's nothing about that number that has any significance to you

other than that's the best Justin Smith was going to get. It was 58. You hope to live to be 58. Well, that'll be a fun year when that happens. 58-year-olds and Twitter go together. Guys, it's my Twitter birthday, guys. Guys, it's my fucking Twitter birthday.

That was my impression. I can do impressions, too. I thought you were saying that it really is your Twitter birthday. Because Twitter will tell you when it's your Twitter birthday, I think. I think mine's in January. Oh, it must be coming up. What presents will I get? Happy birthday.

Just a Twitter birthday. Who cares? Alright. JustinSmith58, what do you got? Who are we going to play today? Andy Serkis. Andy Serkis? you son of a bitch. That is some bullshit right there. Who's that? Yeah, who's that, says the panel.

That's not a good name when you have panelists who have seen movies. You've seen movies, right? Yeah. Say, who's that? So now, we're in a tough spot. I don't want Mark to just lose straight up because he doesn't even know who it is. Well, give me a face or something.

Well, once we say that's the problem... I'll give you nine of them. But once it gets down to you, because we're starting with John, maybe by then you'll figure out who it is. Let's see how it goes. Let's not throw this one away Just yet, let's see what happens I feel like this should be a practice

You could use your lifeline the first round Oh, jeez And then you might figure some things out as we go Alright There's things to learn Starting with John The films of the great Andy Serkis Andy Serkis

Here we go Andy Serkis. Andy Serkis. Here we go. Andy Serkis. Andy Serkis. Is that another festival? Andy Serkis. How about Lord of the Rings, The Fellowship of the Rings? That is correct.

Mike? That is correct. Mike. Films of Andy S-E-R King Kong. K-I-S. King Kong is correct. Which one? King Kong.

2005. Forgot to name yours. Is that the right one? Andy Serkis. Was he the good looking guy? Yep. Depends on what you're into. Yeah.

Lord of the Rings, he was in great shape. I think you should use your lifeline. Ah, right. Then see where it goes from there. What are my lifeline options? Yeah, where's your lifeline person at? Oh, it was a CJ. Where's CJ at?

Right here. There you are. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. She says, Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. 9-11? No, just, there was a movie called Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers. Oh, all right. thank you, Siege There you go

So Mark's still in it Definitely not to win it Otter, what do you got down there, Otter? Are we doing that first man out side game too? Or you don't, that might be a surprise What's that? The first man out, like, side game What are you talking about? Where you get to say another actor do we do that shit or no just straight up

yeah let's straight up straight up i don't even know what you're talking about sometimes we start with two actors at the same time that's the last mash stanton this is just regular andy circus you can go to your lifeline. Full titles always fucking get me, but I'll take a shot. Yeah, full titles are tough. I know you get exhausted just by the time you get to the colon. Yeah. That's how a lot of doctors feel.

Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King? I think that is correct. All right, all right. Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King? I think that is correct. All right, all right. Let's get out of that trilogy, huh? I'm going to say... I don't know why you thought this was a good name. I'm going to say... Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Oh, God, more fast. this was a good name. I'm gonna say

Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Oh, God, more masks. I just need a face. Is he a monkey? Doug, I'm gonna be honest. This is the most dickish you've ever been on your game, and it is also the most fun I've ever had during a game. I love it, dude.

You're getting a donut! It wasn't my idea. I think it's a terrible name for this game, but... Thank you. I know, I could have gone like six deep on Leguizamo. We should do that later for fun Oh if you're talking about that

Then that'd be 11 deep motherfucker Until I get hard Whoa whoa what are you doing there, McCray? I'm sending a text. You're sending a text? Yes, sorry. I'm in movie nerdy nerd hell. Andy, what other movies have you been in?

You're tied with Andy Serkis And you don't even know Did you say one, John? I said one I said Rise of the Planet of the Apes I'm going to say The Hobbit Feels like the first time Jeez Come on

You really don't know what it's called? It's just The Hobbit. It's just called The Hobbit. Oh, there's more words. A great adventure. No. No. It's an adventure, but they just didn't know.

They didn't know it was going to happen. It was out of nowhere, and they had to go far. And an unexpected journey. Wow. Thank you. and an unexpected journey. Wow. Thank you. Thomas Jane should play the Hobbit. He's a little sewers fucker.

Mike, do you have another one? Star Wars, The Force Awakens. Oh, yeah, that's right. He only does trilogies yeah, that's right. He only does trilogies. Yes. All right. Is he in anything in America?

All right, all right, hold on. I'm out of life points. Did he bring King Kong back to New York at the end? Yeah, good point, good point. I will say... I'll try to piggyback off the Star Wars. It's good. We need to wrap this up anyway. Isn't there a Hobbit 2 Boogaloo? No.

That's your Star Wars guess? No, I was going off of his reaction there. Yeah, there was three Hobbit movies, but I don't even think I could game all three of those things. Let me think about it. All right. Nope. I guess that's the end of it.

That's the end of you? Donut fingers. All right. You did a great job. It was great having you here. And this lady over here wants a donut. She's over there. We need a donut.

I should plug the donut place. Mark, the otter. What's up, dude? The otter, Mark. What do you got? Mike, what do you got? Oh, he's going to his lifeline.

This is what happens when I trust normal people. It's tough. I think you've got to know those last two hobbits, I think. And then I think he appeared in something else, not in makeup Or whatever Don't say it Don't say you guys Don't say it

Oh it's the guy Sorry Like shut up That's what I would do Do you want to do that Am I trusting you right now Are you looking me In the fucking eye

You're trusting me Okay you're Wes Walker I'm Tom Brady I'm gonna fucking Throw this out there Is it gonna be a touchdown It better be a fucking Touchdown Dawn of the Planet of the Apes That's correct Boom I'm Tom Brady I'm gonna fucking throw this out there is it gonna be a touchdown it better be a fucking touchdown

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes that's correct that was for you great job and whatever the next That was for you. Great job. And whatever the next Planet of the Apes is called doesn't count because it's not out yet. God damn it. Yeah.

That one's off the table. But yeah, he does love trilogies. And then I also want to say that he was in, that he played the Billy Zane role in Titanic. You mean that great boat movie everybody loves? Yeah, I'm out. Do you have anything, John? I'm going to go to my lifeline, Rhodes. Rhodes?

He's raising his hand. Avengers, Age of Ultron. Whoa! Avengers, Age of Ultron? What was he in that? He played Ultron. Whoa! Avengers Age of Ultron? What was he in that? He played Ultron. No, that was James Spader. That's the voice of Ultron, but the body was...

The body was him? No, he was Ulysses. Just say yes, Rhodes. No, he was Ulysses. Yeah, he was Ulysses. Yeah. Who the fuck is Ulysses? He's the guy played

by Andy Serkis. Thanks, Rhodes. I believe it all. Give it up for Rhodes!is. Thanks, Rhodes. I believe it all. Give it up for Rhodes! Yeah. Mike? The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug?

Yeah! Wait a minute. Smaug. Didn't I say that? No, you said Boogaloo 2. Oh, yeah. You said other nonsense Did I say that? No, you said Boogaloo 2. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You said other nonsense words. Oh. Oh, this guy. Oh, yes. Now you realize we're going to be talking about The Hobbit for hours. Do you have another one, Mark? Otter? Damn, I was about to hit 10. What can I do?

I will say this. since we've gone with no offense to Andy but we've gone with such a shitty name to do it might be the first time no one has anything to yell at us when we're done

we're getting close here no there's somebody knows one thing there's something out there there's something floating out there okay he's very talented

actor that Andy Serkis I mean I want to say Shark Tale go ahead man oh fuck Okay. He's a very talented actor, that Andy Serkis. I mean, I want to say Shark Tale. Go ahead, man. Oh, fuck. Just say it. The Death Session of Swamp is like the third one.

I think there were three Hobbits. Oh, man. I bet you he's also the voice in something. The person trying to help me cheat right now, I'm still Mark Wahlberg. I need nothing. So even if I lose, it's by choice.

I'm going to go with The Hobbit 2, We Out Here. John, do you have anything else? Star Wars Attack of the Clones. Yeah? Jar Jar Binks. He definitely played Jar Jar Binks. What? Yeah.

Okay, next. If I recall, we've only named three of the original Lord of the Rings. No, we did all three of them. You did all three? We did all three, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Return of the King, Two Towers, and Fellowship of the Rings. No, we did all three of them. We did all three, yeah. Return of the King, Two Towers, and Fellowship of the Night. Who's my lifeline? Where's he at?

What's it called? It's called Birkin Hair. Birkin Hair? Birkin Hair? What? All right. Birkin hair. More importantly, did you hear why she watched it?

Nuh-uh. Tell them. Huh? Oh, the Douglas... Yeah, the challenge. She had to watch 366 movies. So one of them was Birkin hair. You're goddamn right.

That's what she watched. All right. That means that Mike McRae is our winner! Thank you! Fuck yeah! Thank you! But what else was there that he was in, like, as a person? 13 going on 30?

Oh, prestige! Battle of Five Armies, The Hobbit, Battle of Five Armies. The Hobbit Battle of Five Armies. I thought that was Five Army Hammers, like three more than Social Network. He's in an X-Men? The first one. First.

Get Hard? Did you say Get Hard? What? What? Inkheart. What? Ink heart. Ink heart? They're saying ink heart, Doug. Shark tail. The prestige?

Did you say the prestige? Because I love you. He was so good in the Prestige. He was the Prestidigitator in the Prestige. Clueless. Clueless, wow. Now people are looking at their phones. Shut it down.

What was he in Clueless? He was somebody we don't care about in Clueless. It's over. Stop it. What Hobbit? He was only in the first one. He was only in the first one. Wait a second. Yeah, I thought that might have been true,

that he might not have been in all the Hobbits. Tainted victory. Yeah, it's that might have been true, that he might not have been in all the Hobbits. Tainted victory. Yeah, it's totally tainted, yet I decree it. We should play a real one. Who are you playing for, Mike? What do you mean a real one? That took some skill. Oh, that's Burt Reynolds.

Who's got three hours? Yeah, who's the name that you're playing for? Our winner is... Andrea. Yeah. Who's the name that you're playing for? Our winner is Andrea. Andrea. Breath of Andrea. Breath of Andrea.

Where's she at? Right there? That's her right there? What? Oh. Yeah. Oh, good. Okay.

She did win it with that Kirk and Hare thing. Birkin Hare. Haven't you heard of it? Birkin Hare. Itkin hair. Birkin hair. It's a porn version. John Erler of Master Pancake, what do you got to

plug? What's coming up for you and you guys? Doing another weekend of Cage-a-thon. Then after that, probably taking a weekend off to go to the marches in Washington. And then after that, everybody join up there. Fuck Trump. And then after that, we're looking at probably an officer and a gentleman making fun thereof.

But we're not sure yet. And that's about it. Thanks. John Erler. Mike McRae. I have some dates coming up here in town. I forget when exactly, but follow me on Twitter, and I'll put them up,

and also listen to me on the Jimmy Dore podcast every week on iTunes. Very good, Mike McRae. Mark Norman. Sorry, CJ. I just want to say that. And check me out. I got dates all over the place.

MarkNormanComedy.com. And check out my podcast, Tuesdays with Stories. Woo! And hey! Thanks, Dad. And yeah, see me tonight with Louie. You got two hours, so get in there. Have a good...

I love Austin. Yeah! Yeah! You've been here before, though, right? Oh, I live here. Oh, okay. Thanks, Mark Norman. No, no, it's good to be here.

Thanks for having me there. And Otter. What's up, guys? Y'all want to be fucking Otters, you know it. Right now, go see patriots day because it's really fucking good or wait nine days till my next movie comes out also san francisco sketch fest guys two nights friday january 27th and saturday january 28th you're doing a show at sketch i am dude i'm doing two nights of that shit then i'm getting out of town we're doing

we're bringing it back motherfucking walberg solution is coming back, guys. Real news topics, real events, real fucking celebrities. And we're going to sort this shit out for the normal people out there. 10 o'clock at night on the 27th and 28th at Piano Fight. So come have your life fucking changed and maybe I'll let you touch me. Also, if you, Andrea, since you won, I'll write you're welcome on that fucking TV. That's very nice of you, Mark. I'm fucking giving back to the people, dude. I love that about you.

I'm also going to be at San Francisco Sketch Fest doing a couple different things, a movie interruption and a Douglas Movies. sfsketchfest.com for all the info on that. I don't know about everybody else, but I had a very nice time this afternoon.

Yeah! Thank you to everyone for being here. One more time for all my guests. Throw some donuts. John Erler, Mike McCrae, Mark Norman, and Mark Wahlberg. Mike Drop Wahlberg Thank you And as always

Greg Abbott is a shithead. Shh. Be quiet. I'm saying shitheads. Vladimir Putin and his reckless girlfriend are a shithead and everyone that moved to Austin after I did is a shithead now it's time for Doug to watch another

talkie eyes of gold is viewing cow as fakes hip-hoppy. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.