Doug Loves Movies - Mark Wahlberg, Abby Elliott, and Jackie Kashian Guest

Episode Date: August 28, 2014

From the Portland Film Festival, Doug welcomes "Mark Wahlberg," Abby Elliott and Jackie Kashian to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies. And this is Pop-Up Movies! Somebody threw in an and.

Somebody's rewriting the thing. Coming to you from the Mission Theater in Portland, Oregon as part of the Portland International Film Festival! of the Portland International Film Festival! Hundreds of filmmakers and movie lovers from all over the place are here for this Labor Day weekend festival. It's fucking hot as shit in Portland, which is not what it's known for.

And it's Thursday, August 28th, 2014. Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2. Judgment Day of the Dead Men Walking Tall The President's Men and Black Fisher King Ralph the Dog Ralph the Dog Day Afternoon Delightfully Perfect Murder by Death Wish Three Amigos, World's End of

Watchmen Don't Leaving Las Vegas Food, La Jingle All the Wayne's World's Fastest Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Doomsday Doomsday. Doomsdays of Thunder. At 420.

Ish. And I gave the theater and the festival very explicit instructions that I needed four water glasses and a pitcher, and my guests get none. It's all for me, you guys. If any of them starts eyeballing my water, I'm just going to be like, hey, back off. That's my table of water. I am the water king! Let me see your name tags, Portland. Did you guys bring name tags? Oh, yes, you did.

Oh, wow. Apologies in advance to the folks in the balcony, because chances are you won't get picked, unless one of the guests is just like, throw that down to me, which could happen, sure. But these ones up front are amazing. There's a fistful of Darla's. That's a pretty awesome pun. That's going back a bit. That's a fistful of Darla's. That's a pretty awesome

pun. That's going back a bit. That's the poster for her, but what does it say instead? Kirsten. Kirsten. I get it. Somebody brought the album of the soundtrack of the motion picture, Fame, and you changed it to

James. Very good. Wow. Behind Enemy Carolines. That's a really good one. Right next to instead of Jaws, Jess. So, and the Wolf of Walt Street? Your name's Walt? Wow, these are some good ones,

you guys. Oh, there's another big one there that's Anaconda in Anna's ANNA. Love it. My Anaconda don Anna's A-N-N-A. Love it. My Anaconda don't want none unless it's got buns, hon. You can do sidebands and sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt.

Go ahead and put the name tags down. I don't want to make you guys tired during this hot afternoon of movie talk and comedy. I got a couple of things to plug. Tomorrow night, right here in the Mission Theater, the Portland Film Festival is screening my documentary,

The Greatest Movie Ever Rolled, and I'll do a Q&A after. An introduction before, Q&A after. That's at 5.15 tomorrow, and it's only $10 to get in if you don't have a day pass or something. And Sunday, I'm doing stand-up at 8 o'clock at the Bumbershoot Festival in Seattle,

Washington. And Sunday, we're doing Doug Loves Movies at 4.45, so that'll really give me nice leeway to get high. Bumbershoot.org for tickets and deets. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys.

Some amazing stuff in here. Somebody brought their exercise socks that they've actually worn and exercised in. So those will be neat for somebody to have. We've got a fun shirt that I'll show you when that guest gets out here. Well, I'll show it to you anyway. It's a Captain EO shirt.

I was hesitant to show it. I didn't want people to get excited that maybe Michael Jackson was here. It's definitely not Michael Jackson. Oh, here's some fun items. Talk about those in a second. And we got a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, a Gateway Doug 2, and this is bittersweet,

you guys. Leonard Malton is going to stop doing his physical movie guides with this current, the latest edition. If it's not out now, it's out soon, and he's going to stop doing them because his demand isn't there for big, thick books full of movie

reviews, so it's sad that it's done, but he sent me the last one already, and I am giving it away today. Leonard Maltin's 2015 movie guide. And then this bag I got last night in Hollywood. I got invited to go see a band called Broods do like a little private show just to kick off a tour that they're going on. And they also gave me, I enjoyed their

music very much, and they gave me a sampler CD as well. So that's in the bag. A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. Go to Doug Loves Shirts for all your Doug Loves Movies and other shirt needs. This is a fun little thing that somebody gave me

that's called a Save-A-Bowl. It's this rubber thing that you can wrap around your pipe device so that the weed doesn't just continue to burn while you're in between hits. I feel like you don't... This is Portland, though, right? You guys smoke weed?

Okay, good. I tweeted that I was going to be outside smoking weed at 420, and none of you came out there. You just had to get... There's no re-entry? What kind of sex palace are they running here? I don't get that.

I'm going to have a talk with management. No re-entry doesn't make any fucking sense. Put something on your chair and go outside. It's called America. This isn't a nightclub. I've never been told at a movie theater, no re-entry, bub. But I got to get my babies out in the car.

Sorry. Sorry. All right, well, but that's a great excuse for not coming outside. Oh, I almost forgot. Someone in Boise, Idaho gave me Citrus Paradise Extra Moisturizing Lotion. It smells really good. So that's in the bag. I don't use lotion. You guys, I'm excited because there's some awesome people in town for not only comedy, but this film festival, and also somebody that I can't believe I talked him into coming. Please give a big, warm welcome.

Let me think for a second. Who's back there? Give a big, warm welcome to Let me think for a second. Who's back there? Give a big warm welcome to Abby Elliott, Jackie Cation, and Mark Wahlberg. All right, let's say hello to the ladies first. First time guest, Abby Elliott, everybody. Hey, guys.

How's it going, Abby? It's going great. You're here in town for a motion picture that you're in called Sex Ed. Sex Ed. Sex Ed. Yeah. The premiere was last night at this very festival, right? Two nights ago. Two nights ago.

You've been here all this time? Yeah, I've been here all this time. Love it. Love it. And how did the premiere go? It was great. It was wonderful. Well received?

It was. It's fun to watch a comedy with a big house full of people. It is, yeah. Right? it was it's fun to watch a comedy with a big house full of people well you can't tell if people are laughing or just like drinking and partying what do you mean well I couldn't tell if people were like

it went really well people were laughing but I couldn't tell laughter from like talking but it was great. Listen, you guys. And Haley Joel Osment is in it as well. Haley Joel Osment is in it. It's wonderful.

That's awesome. And when does it come out? Out, out, out. It's on iTunes in November. Okay. Okay. There you go. Woo.

Somebody said over there. A nicely placed woo. And you're in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Yeah. What are you doing there? Uh, it's pop-in here and there. Still couldn't pop in? Michelangelo.

She's Michelangelo. She's Michelangelo. I don't think that. Is that true? You're the voice of Michelangelo? Maybe. I don't think. I think you're lying to me. I also think if you guys can make whatever adjustments it'll take to not make these microphones continue to be absolutely

crazy, that would be fantastic. Like one thing you could have done is put four mics up here and have four people come up and test them. That's a little tech advice from a pro who fucking shows up at 420 and stands around outside

wondering why no one will come out and smoke with him. And Abby for the prize bag, brought socks. Not just any socks. My bar method socks. You've sweated up these socks. Yeah, I haven't, I've never washed them. Yes, you have. They're washed. I don't know.

There's no way that you worked out in these and didn't wash them. There's no way. I mean, it's and didn't wash them. There's no way. I mean, it's kind of weird that they're sticking to my face. Definitely never wash them. All right. It's in the bag. Jackie Cation's here, you guys. Hello.

Hello. And you're in town performing, headlining at Helium. They won't use my slogan that I came up with. What is it? Helium. It's a gas. They're fools. They're stupid.

I came up with L-O-L-O-M-O. Remember the L-O-L-O-M-O in San Antonio. Nobody gave a shit about that either. Ass heads. Oh, like Alamo? LOL is the name of the comedy club. Because people get to name their own comedy clubs.

It's never okay. They're never good at it. It is only saved if the comedy club does not blow. Like Helium is great. Acme is great. But they're named Helium and Acme. One of my favorite clubs is called Rooster Teeth Feathers. Cock-a-doodle-doo, they answer the phone.

Not even kidding. Oh, shit, can we call them right now? Yeah, yeah, we can. Do you have your cell on you? Nope. I got a bottle of ice. I don't have their number dialed in, so I can't. Nobody knows what that number is.

Sunnyvale. It's in Sunnyvale. The hell mouth. Yeah. It's where they make the internet. It's where they make the internet. It's true. It's called programmers. In Petaluma, right? It's next to Sunnyvale.

It's next to San Jose. It's next to San Jose. It's in California, and it's kind of in the Bay Area. We've got to go to a quick break. We'll be back with more of Doug Loves Maps. Various comedy clubs around the country that are called weird things. Mark Wahlberg is here, you guys. Guys! Thank you.

How you guys doing? You doing good? You're welcome. What's going on, Doug? It's kind of hot in here, isn't it? Feels fucking great dude Burning calories bro That's all I give a shit about Mark how is Entourage the movie Entourage the movie is going to fucking kill

It's not going to be as good as Transformers So don't get your fucking hopes up Wait a second Not as good as Transformers So don't get your fucking hopes up Wait a second Not as good as Transformers I wrote a fucking robot dinosaur in that movie We don't even have normal dinosaurs in Entourage Do you have normal robots? What's that?

Nothing Okay No it's going to be It's going to be really really fucking good We got all the white people back It's going to be great Do you guys Does anybody want water? No, it's going to be really, really fucking good. We got all the white people back. It's going to be great. Do you guys, does anybody want water?

I would love a fucking water. There you go. Gotta hydrate, bro. They gave them all to me, but I'm going to share. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Can I have that? After you've touched it. Yeah, go ahead.

That's perfect. Are you good, Abby? I love to be part of this. That's water? Pass that one to Mark. I got one more water. Let me pass that one to Mark. I'll give you, I got one more for you. Or pass this one to Mark.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna dip these socks in mine before I... Dog, you're lucky I was in town, bro. What happened? Oh, you're just lucky I was here in town.

Yeah, why are you in town? Well, Donnie wants to do a walking tour of Stand By Me. And I told him, I'm like, dude, all it is is woods and some fucking train tracks. And he's like, I want to go, dude. I'm like, all right. It's my weekend with Donnie, so let's fucking go. So he's up there running around fucking making hamburgers over a fire or whatever the fuck they do in that movie.

And I'm here. They made hamburgers in that movie? Oh, yeah, dude. They talked about wagon train and what the fuck Goofy was. You didn't see that fucking movie? Is he going to be disappointed if he doesn't find a body at some point?

I told him. I'm like, dude, they found that fucking kid. And he's like, no, I'm pretty sure, Mark, it's still out there. I go, okay, go off on Bat-Carlo Road and go fucking looking for it. So I'm just killing time. I'm supposed to pick him up on Saturday afternoon if he makes it. Well, I just wiped my face with what you brought for the prize bag. Why did Mark Wahlberg bring a Captain EO t-shirt?

That's fucking right. I did bring a Captain EO t-shirt. You know why? Because that amusement ride changed my fucking life, dude. How so? I don't know. I always wanted a pooter after I saw that. Here's the other thing, too.

I was like... Was that the name of the little weird elephant thing? Yeah. And I said to myself, Here's the other thing too Was that the name of the little weird elephant thing? Yeah And I said to myself I'm gonna be rich enough to someday own one of those little fuckers And I'm halfway there Owning one of them? Yeah, I don't think you need two

You know that that was the black guy in that suit in that movie, right? What? Nothing Yeah, owning's really not a great word to use when it comes to that character. I don't know. Tony Cox, who went on to star in Bad Santa. Really?

That's one of my favorite fucking Christmas movies. He's Hooter in that movie. And he wanted to open up a chain of restaurants and somebody beat him to it. It's about owls. Oh, I get it. Because of the fucking place with the owls. It's all about owls. Oh, I get it. Because of the fucking place with the owls. It's all about owls. Oh, you've never gone in there, I take it.

They don't have any owls in there. That's so fucking unhealthy, that place. I'd be more apt to just run around, like do laps in the parking lot before I would go inside a Hooters. But the casino in Vegas? Top notch. You like the Hooters casino? Oh, in Vegas? Top notch. You like the

Hooters casino? Oh yeah, it's great, dude. They got hardwood floors. That's how you know you're in a fancy fucking place. Alright, Mark. I think this worked out great that you're here. Thank you for being here. You're welcome.

Jackie, what'd you bring for the prize bag? I brought a free beach towel from Grown Ups 2. Yeah. Yeah, Grown Ups 2. Beach towel. Grown Ups 2. Yeah.

I know how to party, you guys. And then I brought two, because we're in Portland. We're in Portland, Oregon. I brought two, because we're in Portland, we're in Portland, Oregon, I brought two VHS movies that you guys can turn into bookends. You guys are crafty. Get your glue guns out.

Fucking get on it. Crazy coincidence. They're two movies from a recent guest, Steven Seagal. He was on the show recently, and you brought, wait a second. It's the same movie twice. recently. And you brought... Wait a second. It's the same movie twice.

That's right. Because they've got to match if you're going to make bookends. Who wants, like, if you get two elephants, they've got to be two elephants, right? On either side of the bookend. You're going to want two Steven Seagal. It's not going to be hard target and then out for justice.

I just feel bad for this girl tammy who wrote her name on it she's probably pissed i just saw steven last week he's driving what he likes to call an unofficial uber i'm like steven you got to get a fucking license for this what's your what's your my favorite line from hard target is what's uh what's your name my name line from Hard Target is, what's your name? My name is Chance. He's like, why is your name Chance? My mama took one. That's the greatest line in cinema. Seagal says that?

Seagal says that. He's a fucking genius. What are you, Jackie, are you crazy? Yeah, I'm going mad. Hard Target star Jean-Claude Van Damme. Right, who's just like Steven Seagal. And he said that. And Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Hey, I'm going to be great at this game. This is going to be. Everyone's going to want me in on this. Yeah. Jean-Claude Van Damme. By the way, I met Steven Seagal one time. I was on the VH1. Back in the 12th century, I was on a show called The List.

You did The List, didn't you? I did The List, yeah. With Henry Rollins. I was on with... I wasn't on with Henry Rollins. You weren't List, didn't you? I did The List, yeah. With Henry Rollins? I was on with... I wasn't on with Henry Rollins. You weren't? Nuh-uh. He hosted mine, and it was me, Steven Scull, wearing two kimonos. Not just one.

Two fucking kimonos. It's cold in that studio. He was wearing two? What? He was wearing two? He was wearing two. To be fair to Steven, it was two kimonos sewn together so that he could wear it. It might have been mirage kimonos where it was one and then just another color

just accenting, like an accent wall. Nope, looked like two kimonos, people. And then from the doors, the guy that died. All of them. Ray Manzarek. That's it. There you go. Ray Manzarek. And Henry Rollins had a moment wait

nope okay I gotta it's a great story allow me to tell it again fuck okay so yeah put that all away that's great okay so so Henry Rollins and Steven Scull have a moment Henry Rollins is like remember when I lent you $20 and Steven Scull

is like what do you mean and then it went like that for like 10 minutes and Henry Rollins is like I needed you $20? And Steven Scull's like, what do you mean? And then it went like that for like 10 minutes. And Henry Rollins was like, I needed that $20 back. And they had a genuine moment. And it was me, Ray Manzarek, Steven Scull, and the guy who played, he's an amazing

actor. The only thing I can remember he was in at this time was he played Chandler's roommate who had the pet goldfish. Joey? Adam Goldberg. What was it? Adam Goldberg. Yeah, Adam Goldberg. Genius vine stylist. he was in Private Ryan. And he was one of the hitmen

in Fargo. Right, in Saving Private Ryan, he played the Jewish guy. I'm here all weekend. You should come and hear me do things that I know shit about. And also in the prize bag, a copy of Jackie's CD. This will make an excellent horcrux. Woo!

Yeah. Yeah. Because my soul is in it. So that's the prize bag. It's a pretty good one. And somebody's going to win it tonight. But let's just talk movies for a second. Abby, have you been to the movies lately?

Like, have you seen anything other than Sex Ed a couple nights ago? Just Sex Ed and Ninja Turtles. Over and over? Did you go to, like, the premiere of Ninja Turtles? Yeah. And how was the reaction at the premiere? Because was it mostly adults, or did everybody bring their kids? No, it was mostly adults.

That's weird, right? Everyone was in 3D glasses and did not know what was going on. Oh, you think everyone was fucked up? Or you think they didn't follow the turtles enough to know the story? You've got to have a backstory, man. Eastman Laird, you've got to know. But don't they kind of start at the beginning again with this one

you don't need to know anything about the two in fact if you know anything about them you might get angry apparently like Shredder's relationship to them is completely different in this movie than it's ever been before but that's not the sort of thing I care about but it's doing very well

So congratulations on that But you haven't seen anything Like just on your TV Or your laptop Or your device We can come back to you I watched Private Benjamin the other day There you go

Classic Goldie Hawn Her husband dies while they're fucking yeah early on in the movie yeah Albert Brooks spoiler and so she's destitute so she has to join the army and it turns out

at first she's not good at it by the end she's okay at it it's like G.I. Jane I spoiled the whole movie it's like G.I. Jane but it's exceedingly less violent I have a favorite line from that Vin Diesel says no it's uh no it's Goldie Hawn wait what I spoiled the whole movie. It's like G.I. Jane, but exceedingly less violent.

I have a favorite line from that. Vin Diesel says, no, it's a gold one. Wait, what? No, I'm just kidding. My favorite line from that movie is, I want to go shopping. I want to go out to lunch. I want to be normal again. It's a beautiful line in that movie.

I want to go out to lunch. I want to go out to lunch. It's the greatest. Whenever I want to go out to lunch, I want to go out to lunch. It's the greatest. Whenever I want to go out to lunch, I always think of that line. From Hard Target? From Hard Target. From Overboard?

Come on. From Overboard. No. Overboard. Love Overboard. What a great movie. Up high. Down low.

Cut the pickle. Get a tickle. It's good. I don't really need this bag anymore. Does anybody have a baby that they need something to play with? What about you, Mark? Have you been to the movies? You know, I just put something on in my own personal theater two days ago.

Two guns, motherfuckers. How big is it? How big's the screen? Oh, it's like a 30 by 40. You get a good aspect ratio on it. The problem is you got to fucking find Donnie to come pull it down and then pull it back up with your tongue.

But that's a great movie. Did you guys see that? I didn't play a cop. In two guns? No, I played a Navy guy. Just Navy guy. That was your... Navy guy.

Yeah, that's what it said in the fucking... I kept asking people. I'm like, where am I coming from with this? They're like, you're just a fucking Navy guy. And I'm like, that works for me, dude. So Denzel had both of the guns?

I don't know who Denzel is, but... I had a gun, and I wore, like, a card-hard hat, and there's a scene where I blow up a restaurant. That's pretty much all I needed to be in the fucking movie right there. Fair enough. No, it's a great flick. People should check it out again. Two Guns, yes.

I feel like I gotta see it now because you talk about it every time you're on the show and I haven't seen it yet. I feel bad. Oh, it's so fucking good. There's like a car wreck. It's great. Oh, it's an action movie?

There's one car wreck? No, there's like six, but I just read up until the first one, and I'm like, I'm in. That's how you pick? Are either of the guns a dinosaur? No, there's no fucking dinosaurs. They're hard to come by, because it took... Like, Michael Bay kept telling me, he's like, like oh we'll get the dinosaur in post

And I'm like if you can't get the fucking dinosaur here to shoot now Why are we even making this fucking movie But I guess they got it Jackie have you been to the movies lately Guardians I've seen it twice It's good stuff Not the one with the owl

Not the one with Jack Frost We're talking Guardians of the Galaxy I've seen it twice. It's good stuff. Not the one with the owl. Not the one with Jack Frost. We're talking Guardians of the Galaxy. I've seen it twice, too. Yeah? And I enjoyed it the first time, but I really enjoyed it the second time. For some reason, once I knew all the parts, it all came together better for me. Yeah, I had two tiny problems with it. Oh, let's hear this.

Yeah, yeah. Detractor. Gamera, the giant turtle. No, Gamora, who um she's she's more hard-ass in the comics man she's more yeah she should have rorschach'd she when she walked into that prison there should not have been her being protected she should have said what rorschach said in the watchman which was uh i am not in here with you you people are in here with me and then fucking killed everyone.

But they gave that to Rocket Raccoon. And Raccoon and Groot, they nailed it, man. It was so good. And Drax was better in the movie than he was in the comic. Though there was a weird line, because he's super literal, right? And there's a laugh line where he calls her a whore, where you're like, wait, she didn't turn tricks at all previously in this film. So why does he think she might be a whore? To me, he seems dumb enough.

Oh, that he might have thought. That's also just like a label for a woman who's clearly not married with children. Oh, fair enough. You know, she seemed wild. I've decided that I only want to be called Mrs. Andy Ashcraft, by the way. That's my husband's name. Remember in the 70s when everyone was just like, this is my friend. Yes, hi, I'm Mrs. James Claxon.

And you're like, you don't have a name? Oh, okay. Remember that was weird? That was just weird for me. Okay, just weird for me. The weirdest part about it is we were talking about Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, I did weed off. I will.

Do you remember when people used to say, I am Groot, when they would greet you? And it didn't mean anything except for I am Groot. Yeah, and then later it did mean things. I got a great idea for the holidays. What? There's got to be Christmas cards with Groot on them that say, Seasons Grootings. That's just good writing, man.

Yeah, that's solid. That's solid. He's perfect for the holidays. He's such an adorable character. It's so fun the way at one point his branches go out and he murders 12 people simultaneously. It's pretty awesome. What was the other?

Did you have another bone with it? Did you cover all your bones? That was my bones. There were two bones. It was Drax and his literalness and Gamora because she's a giant turtle that spits fire

she is not I love this movie because I love the idea there's going to be more of them every ten poll franchise thing of late I'm like I hope this doesn't lead to more of these but this one I have the opposite feeling like I'm like, ugh, I hope this doesn't lead to more of these. But this one, I have the opposite feeling. I'm more excited

about the next one than the one that currently exists. That's how I am about Transformers. You think there's gonna be more? Oh, we're making seven more. And you're gonna be in them? At least the next two. I had no idea. Oh yeah, dude.

Oh, fuck yeah. I was a scientist in that, guys. So obviously. It's like an honorable... What's that? You can't kill the scientist. Nope. I was a scientist and I rode a dinosaur and then I had a gun that I stole from set and it's in my house right now. It doesn't work.

Is scientist still just another word for inventor? Because I thought you were an inventor. Yeah, I invented shit too. Oh, you're a scientist and an inventor? Yeah, and a fucking engineer. This is different from when you were a Navy guy, right? This was just a scientist and inventor guy. No, this one was totally different.

I've really taken a departure away from where I'm just a person who's a cop. Because after like the 33rd cop movie, I was like, maybe I could just be like a coast guard Or Even like a secret shopper at a mall Something different you know Yeah you gotta stretch You gotta fucking mix it up

What did you play in I Heart Huckabees I was just a lonely dude I think You didn't have a profession Fireman A lot of public service people I'm gonna stretch it out like McConaughey a lonely dude, I think. He didn't have a profession? Yeah, I wasn't a fireman. He was a fireman. A lot of public service people. I'm going to stretch it out like McConaughey.

You're going to do an AIDS movie or something? What? You got to get AIDS to do it? You're going to go Down syndrome? He got it for a while and they promised him that he'd be the first in line

for the cure and I guess he's fine now. Really? Yeah. Fuck it. I'll get AIDS if we're going to make him. Didn't McConaughey

really get AIDS for that movie? I don't think so. And they found The Cure. There's a guy over there. Yes. That is correct. Was The Cure in his rider?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if that's what it takes. God, you know, fucking Christian Bale gets one just for showing up. So, I'll do whatever.

I'll cut a fucking arm off if they'll put it back. Alright, well now's the time as part of the show where I have to say let the games begin! The good folks here in Portland have made a lot of beautiful name tags, and they're going to hold them up for you right now and light them up. There's a lot of light-up ones.

Holy shit. And there's some huge ones. Oh, my God. And if each of you could just go into the crowd and just take the name tag that you would like to play for. Are those boxes of Voodoo Donuts? Oh, Voodoo Donuts. Well, that's ridiculous.

Yeah, that might be the way to go, you guys. But just go grab whatever you want to play for and bring it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back. Who are you playing for? Who are you playing for, Abby? You've got a giant light-up sign.

I'm playing for Ruby Sparks Up With Doug. Ruby Sparks Up With Doug. And then attached to it was what? A marshmallow. No. This little bag of pot.

You've got about a gram of pot for your trouble. I think that's the first time that's happened. You can hang on to that, Jackie. I can't take this on the plane tomorrow. I know. You're going to have to finish it all tonight. You can do it. It's early. It's Portland. You can go to

ground control or something and get high and play pinball. But that's a really nice sign. And it's got a bunch of light-up stuff on the back, so good job on that. And then there's also a ton of voodoo donuts those things are sick there's like a blue one in there

that's some crazy shit you wouldn't eat something like that would you Mark? nope that's just a box of regret there's about 22 5Ks in that fucking box. All right, who are you playing for, Mark? Check it out. Summer Like It Hot. Oh, that's cool.

It's like that song, Drop It Like It's Hot, but it says Summer Like It Hot. Dude, you're on it. Oh, yeah, that is me. In the, uh, I guess I'm Jack Lemmon, dressed up as a woman. Oh, no, I'm Tony Curtis. And then Summer, she's playing the Marilyn Monroe character. Yep.

And Tony Curtis is just himself, dressed up as a woman. And I don't see a shithead on the back of that. I don't either. that means this person likes everybody So you're going to have to win today, Mark And then Jackie, who are you playing for? Jess Who has a Jaws A Jaws poster with a bite out of it, right?

And then she was the one who gave the marshmallows That look like Marshmallows on sticks Shaped like little shark heads. They're so delicious. They're delicious, and I'm about to have a sugar crash in about two seconds. And that's going to be fun for me. And she's got a shithead on the back.

Yeah, so save that for later. So that'll be fun for me to be reminded of my own material. Well, excellent name tag selection, you guys. And thanks to everybody who brought name tags. Good job. Good job, everybody. Yeah. Okay, we're going to start off with a really simple game, Abby.

You'll go third so that you'll have it figured out by the time we get to you. Jackie's going to go first, and then we'll go to Mark. And it's called How Much Did This Shit Make? It's a game where like Price is Right, you all have to guess how many millions a movie made at the domestic box office,

according to Box Office Mojo, without going over. And since we're in Portland, and I'm told that it was filmed here, we're going to do Twilight, the first Twilight movie. We're in Portland, and I'm told that it was filmed here. We're going to do Twilight, the first Twilight movie. Yeah, exactly. I know how proud you guys are of it.

You're like, just go to fucking Forks. Stay there. Don't do anything in Portland. Goddamn vampires. Did pretty well. I will tell you this, That the next one did better And the next one after that did the best of all of them And then the next two also did better

So this is the lowest grossing of the five Twilight movies There's five Twilight movies? They made five of those fucking things? They did Jesus Christ The last one was one book chopped into two parts Which is what they're doing with Hunger Games And what they're going to do with every goddamn

series of books that get made into movies from now on. They're going to try to drag it out for two movies at the end. And how much do you think it made, Jackie? 112 million dollars. 112 people like that?

People like that. Million dollars. Mark? 186. Yeah. Mark? 186. Dollars? No, we're going millions, right? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Sorry, I have to take your first thing that you said. You said

186 dollars. Motherfucker. I said 186. That's like 12 tickets. No, I was doing like 186 on the motherfucking dial. 12 tickets. You heard me. Shit. 186 million, you're saying? Also, I wanted to let everybody know,

can I announce this? You just made me think of it. Okay, what? I'm a part of a book that's being made into two movies. Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends motherfuckers you have to see it to find out what happens they're gonna drag that out

in the two movies yup it'll be fucking great especially the part where the dude has wavy hair but it turns out he's got a wavy fucking head

spoiler alert turns out turns out he's got a wavy head Fucking A dude Yeah It's not wavy hair It's the shape of his head

He's all worried about it And then he's like I thought I had wavy hair I'm not gonna fucking get into it You gotta fucking see it That'll be part two though So check out part one Can't wait

Yup Dad I looked for my cameo In Gone Girl Gone Cameo Is that the sequel? What? Gone Girl? No it's I think it that the sequel to Gone Girl? No, I think it's the sequel to Gone Baby Gone. It's just called Gone Girl Gone.

No, it's just called Gone Girl. It's Ben Affleck and... Yeah. Gone Girl. Can I get back to you on that? You can, yeah. Text me. Okay. Text me. Okay. Text me that I was right.

And Abby, how much do you think it made? $186. Jackie. Wait, she can't say the same fucking number? She's underbidding it. You got a million. $186 million. I gave you the million.

I knew what you meant. No, I think it made like a lot of money. Yeah. Which is like... Can we say a lot of money? A lot of money. Oh, you can just go a lot. made like a lot of money. Yeah. Which is like Can we say a lot of money? A lot of money, okay. You can't just guess a lot of money. More than my

rent, less than what a house costs. What size house? It's more than both of those things. It's Twilight. They've made a lot more because of the success of the first one. So, yeah. So, to help you out, Jackie said $112 million.

Mark said $186 million. And you can bid anywhere higher or lower than that. But not go over, right? Yeah, you don't want to go over. I don't. Mm-mm. Okay. I don't know

like I don't know money like I don't know $100 from like $1,000 well that's what I'm saying is you could you could just bid $187 million and fuck over Mark you could bid

$113 million and fuck over Jackie I mean what's like $80k is k like k? 113 million and fuck over Jackie. I mean, what's like 80K? Is K like K? Those are thousands. How did that weed get you high when you haven't even smoked it yet? You are well off.

Yeah, but just guess any. This also doesn't really matter. $80,000? No, 80 million. Okay. 80 million you're going with. I think that's right. I think you're right, actually. Well, you know, unfortunately in today's movie business,

when something makes $80 million, they actually will call it a flop sometimes if it costs close to that to make. But, yeah, so... But, you know, like I said, it doesn't matter. This just determines that Mark Wahlberg is going to go first in the next game. Because it made $192.7 million. Nice.

He said $186. We're just fucking winning down here. I tried to help you, Abby. I was like, bet $187 million. No, I wasn't picking up on it. You refused to do that. You were not having any part of million. You refused to do that. You were not having any part of that.

All right, so that means Marco's first in the next game. We're going to play a round of Last Man Stanton. Here's how this game works. We're going to get the name of a writer or a best boy or a gaffer we're not to not to relegate any of any of those crafts to all to each other i probably insulted

somebody with that but no uh writer uh director you want to keep wanting to say writer let's say writer director a writer director actor or actress who has done a ton of movies, we need someone to play with. And the idea is we take turns. I'm going to play, too. We take turns naming movies that that person did until we, you know, when you run out, you're out. Seems easy, right? Jim Carrey. Whoa, whoa.

Shh. We're not going to do Mark Wahlberg because we've done it before. We'll be here all fucking night. Yeah, and he'd clean up on that one. Are there any movies you did that you don't remember? Okay, good answer.

I did a movie once where I played a cop. Oh, yeah. Okay, so we're going to need someone to play this with. You guys, I don't know if you've heard the show before, but that is not how you're going to get your name on. I'm going to

ask a specific person to name somebody. And since this other box of Voodoo Donuts didn't get chosen, I feel bad for that guy, because that's the kind of... You're holding her donuts? She gave them to me. She gave them to you? All right, then you don't get chosen, I feel bad for that guy because that's the kind of... You're holding her donuts? She gave them to you? All right, then you don't get to do shit.

And also, dude, you guys are in a relationship now, so I hope... Yeah, go home and fuck those donuts. So the lady that gave the donuts away, that was a nice gesture. Can you name someone for us to play with today? George Clooney? I think we've done him before, but I don't mind doing it again if you guys are all right with it.

Let's do it. You got some Clooney? It's got to be a movie. You got some Clooneys? Yeah. All right. Mark, you start. Three Kings.

Three Kings, of course. Why do you think the two of you never work together again? Oh, he couldn't handle it. I heard there was a lot of trouble on that set. No, he's always weird. He's like, I gotta stand to your left. I'm like, do not stand on my fucking left. But it's a thing with George.

Go check out all the posters. Left, left, left, left, left. Three Kings? Right, motherfucker. Oh, you got him. Three kings? Right, motherfucker. You totally got him. It's like when The Rock thought that he could take a lunch the same time I did when we did Painting Gang. He tried to eat lunch at the same time as you?

Yeah, I'm like, Rock, you go fucking eat on set. This is my tent. But whatever. You have lunch in a tent? Yeah. It's huge. It's like a circus tent. But whatever. You have lunch in a tent? Yeah. It's huge. It's like a circus tent. Jackie? Any George Clooney movie? Gravity.

That was one. You are good at this. Also a great John Mayer song. I'll go with so many good ones to choose from I'll go with good night and good luck alright that was one he directed it

you can do ones he directed too if you want Abby what do you got Use your microphone voice The Ides of March Was that a movie It was a movie It was based on Shakespeare Mark

Syriana I believe you won best supportinging Actor for that one. You did. Jackie? Up in the Air? Yeah. Yeah. Not Up.

That was different. Don't just say Up. That would be wrong. That was with the old guy. Yeah. Ed Asner. Flying away. Up in the Air.

Up in the Air. Burn After Reading? Ooh, nice. I'd burn it before reading. Just skip the reading all together. Abby? Ocean's 11. Mm-hmm.

Mark? Ocean's 12. Jackie? Ocean's 13. One more round. All right. I'm going to go with Batman and Robin. Nice.

I need a hint. Okay, it's George Clooney's in it. Okay. It's a motion picture. And George Clooney's the one And ER doesn't count What about ER the movie? I feel like I lost

You might have lost Because it sounds like you're not saying a George Clooney movie But it's still your turn If you could pull one out Anything with George Clooney in it Descendants Who fucking yelled it out? Why did you do that? I will fight you right fucking now You could pull one out. Anything with George Clooney in it. I just thought of three or four. Who fucking yelled it out?

Why did you do that? I will fight you right fucking now. Please don't do that. I don't know why that happened. They probably... I'd throw that person out if we had time. I got time. Okay. I got a baseball bat and time.

Go throw them out. Alright, so, Abby, nothing? They're descendants. Yeah, I heard that. But that guy helped you, so that's not fair. I know. Say the one that I'm about to say. Okay, you're out. Abby's out. I'm out.

Out. Mark. Dust Till Dawn. Full title, please. National Lampoon's Dust Till Dawn. Nope. Thank God you're here. I don't have a full title. You don't have it? Not off the top of my head.

Really? No. If I told you which part of the title was missing, would that help? Determiner? Verb? Noun? That kind of thing? I was going to say it's at the beginning of the title. Okay. You know, like, The Dusk Till Dawn.

Is it The Dusk Till Dawn? No, really, I don't fucking know it. All right, you're out. Hey, I'll be honest. You're fucking out. Well, I'm still fucking in, so. It's called From Dusk Till Dawn. Fair enough.

There you go. Jackie, all you need is one more. I know. All I got is Facts of Life. That's not a movie It's not a film It turns out Come on, you got one more Is there Batman and Robin 2?

Is there Are you familiar with how Batman and Robin turned out? Yeah, it didn't go well They kind of had to walk away from the franchise for a long time and then hire a... He apologized for it, too.

Christian Bale. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. He was in space. He was in the desert. He was... He's usually fucking somebody. There's usually some touching

of some ladies. Can I just say another one yet? Yeah. Why don't you say it for me in my voice? Mark Wahlberg. I don't know. What you got? another one yet? Yeah. Why don't you say it for me in my voice? Mark Wahlberg. I don't know. Hey, I'm Jackie

Jackie Cation. That's how Mark, yeah. That's not a terribly good impression. It's eerie. Alright, so that means Mark was the last person to successfully name one. True. Facts of life doesn't count. So Mark is our winner. Yeah.

Conversions of a Dangerous Mind. Out of Sight. Out of Sight. Out of Sight. Yeah. A thousand movies. Yeah, there's a bunch of them. Do you want to hear a bunch of them?

Yeah, I do. I do. Men in Black. Men in Black. Somebody said Men in Black. I don't know who yelled out Men in Black. The Goonies. Guys, these aren't right. Men in black? Somebody said men in black. I don't know who yelled out men in black. The Goonies. Guys, these aren't right.

Goonies? Stand by me? What? 24? None of those are... The Peacemaker. The American. Why would you make a movie about a thing you put in your heart?

Was he in Fun Size, Abby? Yes. Yeah. I saw Fun Size. Like, in a movie theater. I don't think I did. Yeah, because that was where we, I think, met for the first time when you were in Cleveland filming it. And I came to town to do some stand-up.

Yeah, we smoked some pot. We did, a little bit, sure. On a roof, I think. Yeah, it was on a roof. It was neat. What are you guys, high schoolers? Mark is dominating today,

you guys. He's the winner of Last Man Standing. Out of hand. It's not looking good, Shark Lady. Jess, it isn't going. And now,

now here's the real, the main attraction. Charades. It's time to play. Pictionary. That's right. I'm going to start stealing things from Hollywood Game Night

because they do a thing on there. I haven't seen it, but Jane Lynch's show, you know, they do a thing on there that's like build a title, but it's, they call it movie mashup or something like that.

Yeah, yeah. Fucking thieves. I'm going to sue them like that. Really? Yeah, yeah. Fucking thieves. I'm going to sue them. Any rate? For no money. Because I won't get any anyway. Just for props. Yeah, I didn't invent that game.

I mean, I kind of did. I don't know. All right. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Come on, feel it, feel it. I brought that back one time for you fucking people. You're so generous. Donny D on the backup.

You know it. All right, so Mark's going to get to go first. And then we'll go to Jackie because she's played before. Name it. She's great at it. And we're going to come because she's played before. She's great at it. And we're going to cover out of you, Abby. And it's going to be awesome.

I was just saying how much I appreciated you having me back on this show at all, ever, since I never know anything and I think that Vin Diesel is Steven Seagal. Or maybe the third... Jean-Claude Van Damme. Is actually Ryan Gosling. No?

Nothing? Is that true? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. But the movies... That makes a lot more sense. The movies you do know about, Jackie,

though, you are... I know them all. You're quite into. You know what I mean? You know a lot about Guardians. Yeah. So someday that might come up on the Linnermal.

That could come up. Sure. All your Marvel films. It's not going to happen on the Linnermald. That could come up. All your Marvel films. It's not going to happen today, but it could happen. It could happen. Alright, Mark, you get to pick a category. Let's do it. Yeah. You get to choose. Indian Summer. Indian Summer?

No, she's a white girl. That's just the fucking truth. Jackie walked right into that one. Holy shit, that was like a glass. Are you texting? Yes. I'm sick of this shit.

I'm going to see who else is in town. See if there's anybody in Portland that knows anything about movies. Don't check out, Doug. I got to kill time while Donnie looks for that fucking kid. No, I used the Leonard Malton app to play the Leonard Malton game.

Now I get it. Now you get it. And markets can pick a category. Prairie Home Companion. A Prairie Home Companion. That, of course, is movies that have bestiality in them. I got a shot. Because when you're on the prairie and you have a home companion, you get it.

At Revo underscore suggested spoiler alert. And that, of course, is movies where someone is run over by a car. And then celebrating a birthday today is Jack Black of Tenacious D and lots of other things. So the films of Jack Black. Those are your three options, Mark Wahlberg. Let's get tenacious on this motherfucker and go with Jack. All right.

Did you ever work with Jack on anything? I don't think so. No. One might have been on the same telephone. He invited me over to his house to do like a hand puppet show for some kids. And I was like, I don't mix it up that much, Jack. That dude can do anything. He really can.

No, he really fucking can. Did you see King Kong? Mm-hmm. He's in it. Is that another one that I can use? What's that? Can I use that one? What?

It probably won't be that. Are you going to pick King Kong? If that was it, Doug would have yelled at me already. If that was the answer? Yeah. No, I'd just be chill about it. And then it'll be funny that you already blew it when the answer is revealed later. Unless I name it.

The year is 2006. Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie. He says that this movie is... Wow. Every single thing in this review gives away, I think, gives away what it is. This movie has an extremely offbeat concept. Okay. Okay. As opposed to extreme beating off.

Which would, that would be a totally different movie. Jack Black co-produced this movie. Yeah, that's a clue for you. 2006, two and a half stars, and Leonard lists eight names. How many names do you think it'll take you to name this movie, Mark? Summer, do you know what it is? Don't you fucking lie to me. All right.

2006, Everything Gives It Away. What else did you say it was? He co-produced it? Yeah. You get one on the little fucking thing. He co-produced the movie and it's an extremely offbeat concept, this movie. 2006.

Eight names. So, just so I'm clear, he has to name eight names? No. From the movie? I gotta name eight fucking names? No, no, he has to say how many names he has to hear to guess the title of the movie. And he's about to bid someday.

And he's probably gonna say, like, eight names. Which means he gets to hear all of them. Reading from the bottom up. So the idea is, you know, you don't hear the stars' names. I think I get it. Zero names. Whoa. Whoa.

I'm sick of fucking letting other people name shit. All right, so... If I lose, it's just like a race. I'm going to trip some people on the way down. So, Jackie, you're stuck with either going in. Negative one. You're going to do that? Negative one.

Yeah! Way to fucking bring it, Jackie Kayshun. That's it. I will lose with style and panache. Way to fucking bring it. Now we're in a fight. That's what I like. Negative two.

You do it. You do it. Negative two? Yeah, you say negative two now. Abby, I'm going to Now we're in a fight. That's what I like. Negative two. You do it. You do it. Negative two? Yeah, you say negative two now. Abby, I'm going to talk to you as a friend. I'm going to talk to you as a friend. Yeah, tell her what to do, Mark. Tell her to name that fucking movie.

Do you know what it is? Name that fucking movie. There you go. Well, I think I know, but I also, but I don't know how to play the game, so I don't. Do you know what it is? I could explain it to you. If you bid negative two names, then you have to name the movie and the top two billed people in the right order. Jackie is, she's wagered negative one, so she's going to name the movie and the top billed person. She could be wrong. She could have the wrong movie. So if you ask her to name it and she misses it, you

get a point. Or you can go negative two if you think you can do that. Okay, negative two. Back in the fucking driver's seat, Summer. Here we go. You do me a favor? What are you gonna do, Mark? Abby, you do me a favor? Yeah, anytime. Name that fucking movie.

Oh, boy. I believe in you. It's a win-win. Are you asking me to name it? Yeah. Yeah, so now... Now you have to name the movie. This is the greatest episode.

And the top. You guys, I'm fucking around. Me and Abby. Head body, head body, head body. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! I'm fucking around. Head body, head body, head body. He's a merciless player. Wait, so give me hints about the movie because I forgot.

I already did. It's got an offbeat concept and Jack Black co-produced it. School of Rock? 2006 is the year. School of Rock? And then who are the top two Billed people in the movie

Oh Jack Black Uh huh And then who would be second Who else was in that Mike White iCarly was in it What Mike White

He's in it yes Yeah and he wrote it And it's a movie And it was directed by Richard It was directed by Richard Linklater. So don't I win? No, because the movie's called Nacho Libre. Oh, shit.

And the top two people are Jack Black and Ana de la Riguera. That's all. What were you going to say, Jackie? Oh, I was going to lose with even less style than that. I couldn't have named Mike White. I was going to... I think I was going to guess High Fidelity. That's from the 90s.

Oh, yeah. I love High Fidelity. And also, not two and a half stars. Everybody fucking loved that piece of shit. Who was second billed in High Fidelity? John Cusack? No. Nope.

What? Who would be built above John Cusack in High Fidelity? Jeremy Piven? No. Yeah, Jack Black's in it. Jack Black was number two.

It's true, he was in it. Tim Robbins? But yeah, Tim Robbins is kind of a wacky supporting role in that, so I don't think he got second.

You guys have no clue how confidently I was going to say Gulliver's Fidelity. John Cusack and then... Yeah, School of Rock was what I was going to guess, but I couldn't... Can I ask a question real quick? Yeah.

You guys want to do some fucking lines? Oh, shit. I meant to say no. We don't have time. All right. But they love it, so do one real quick. Abby and Jackie, sit here and just be stunned and have no idea what Mark Wahlberg is doing for a few minutes,

and then I'll tell you the name of the movie. You gotta stand up when you say it. We'll be friends forever, right, Copper? Right, Todd. We'll be friends forever, right, Copper? Right, Todd. Motherfucker right there with the fox and the hound. All right, Mark.

I don't know what just happened. I don't know why you opened it up to the crowd. I thought that's what you wanted. I'm sorry. You were playing with the other contestants on stage. Oh, I'm sorry. And I also don't want to play the game at all, so I don't know what you're doing. Sorry about that, brother.

We've got a schedule to keep. We've got to be done at 6 o'clock, and we have to get through this game nobody understands. You're right. Sorry about that, brother. But congratulations, guy in the audience, for Fox and the Hound was the answer? Yeah, Fox and the Hound, dude.

Holy shit. If I would have done the opposite of stand up when I said that answer, I would have laid down. I would have hidden. Why do you know dialogue from Fox and the Hound? Either of you. That movie makes me fucking cry my eyes out.

How come you haven't been the voice in a cartoon yet? Oh, I don't like it because you can't see me. Why are you on this podcast? Oh, no. These fuckers see me and they'll never forget it.

All right. So you got a point. You're on the board. Mark Wahlberg has a point. It's first person to two points, Abby, so you still have a shot at this. All right. Don't let it shake your confidence. You never know what's going to happen in this game.

I believe in you. Jackie gets to pick the category. Oh, Christ. And then we'll go to Mark and then to Abby. You got to go with Christ in it? No, let's do this. Jackie, at spoiler, we all die on Twitter suggested I am DB. Of course, because I am DB, but also because it's movies where the title is the initials DB.

No. Like an example would be like Deuce Bigelow. Oh, Deuce Bigelow. I would have gone DB Cooper and that was the only one I could think of. Okay, well, again, that's probably not something you want to tell the other players. Right, not out loud.

But also, you don't have to pick this category. Okay, yes, please. Or, at Rock and Roll Geo, suggested a category called Splash, and that's movies where Tom Hanks pees or gets peed on. And at Eric R. Stevens suggested Meals on Wheels, which is a fun category we've had on here a few times. That's movies where someone has oral sex in a car.

Meals on Wheels. So would you like Tom Hanks pees or gets peed on, oral sex in a car, or the movie's title is initials are DB. Splash. Splash. Let's do the peeing one. Peeing one. Yeah.

1992 is the year. Three stars from Leonard. He calls this movie thoroughly entertaining. He says, oh. He says it's good-natured fiction. Interesting way to describe a movie. And then he says later, this was briefly a TV series, this movie. Sans Tom Hanks, of course.

And he lists a whopping 15 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Jackie Cation? I'll go 15. I'm not going to be a hero. See what she's doing here, Abby, is now she gets to hear all 15 names. So that's probably going to make it very clear what the movie is. And now Mark's going to have to bid lower or ask her to name it, which I'm sure he won't do.

I'm going to go nine. He says nine. He chopped off six of the names. So that gets a lot tougher now. So you can bid. Oh, six is a great bid. Jackie? I got to say name that movie. I think you do.

I think Jackie does have to say name that movie. Alright, so I'm gonna give you those six names. And now I name the movie? And then you name the movie. After I tell you the six names. But you get six. I feel pretty good about this. I'm sure.

I didn't say which way. Someone is about to get a point. The six names are Bill Pullman Taya Leone Janet Jones Tracy Reiner Ann Cusack

And Renee Coleman God All of those people were in this From 92 with Tom Hanks If you guess something with Tom Hanks Especially something where Tom Hanks pees. I believe he's peed in about five different movies. He'd be up there probably, yeah.

Could be a movie where Tom Hanks has a cameo. That doesn't happen very often. No. Maybe not at all. I mean, he'd be a lot lower build on that thing you do because he's a supporting character. I heard in the DVD extras his character's gay. Really?

In That Thing You Do. Also, That Thing You Do is not fiction. That was a real story? There's really a band called the Oneeders? I don't know, but they really made that fucking music. They did really make that music, Mark. It's a good point. I don't know.

Just name a Tom Hanks movie. You might luck into it. I don't think I will, but... Just do it. Uh... Big? See, there you go. You guessed one.

This particular one is called A League of Their Own. Oh! But how are those people. And Cusack is John Cusack's sister. She's a baseball player. Gina Davis should be number one and so

should like Madonna. But we read from the bottom up. So you're right. Those are the people at the top. I would have been sad that I didn't get that either because that's a great movie. League of Their Own right there. I still don't understand the game.

I'm still getting the game. Oh, yeah. And once you've got it completely figured out, you're still going to be shitty at it. I thought it was the birds. I've made a career out of it. So I recommend you. No, Jackie does great with it. Sometimes people aren't good at it.

Win because you just make the other person name it. And that's what Jackie did Jackie's on the board am I out? no you're not out no you're as you're as in style as ever

where'd you get that bracelet Mark? I had it made you had it made? special? yep it weighs 27 pounds sweet looks nice I had it made. You had it made? Special. Yep. It weighs 27 pounds. Sweet.

Looks nice. Yeah. Sometimes I think I don't want it, but then I'm like, it's kind of my name tag. So I keep it. Mark, you get to go first. Let's do this. Yeah, and then we go to Jackie. Get to pick a category. Yes, sir. Are you right, Abby? Yeah, I have we go to Jackie. Get to pick a category. Yes, sir.

Are you right, Abby? Yeah, I have to pee so bad. Oh, let her rip. Does anyone do a good Tom Hanks impression? Let's go with these categories, Mark. Would you like deep fried bacon? That's where Kevin Bacon smokes weed. At whereis underscore Q suggested Port Blandia.

Port Blandia. And that's movies that are set in Portland that Leonard gave two stars or less. Yeah. Local thing. And then the Blueberry Johnson category, that's You're In This, and that's movies where someone on this panel is in the film.

Which one of those would you like to play, Mark? Let's do Kevin Bacon Getting High. Okay. Shh! Would you like a movie where Kevin Bacon got high from 1980 or 2011? 80. Why are you suddenly moving things along?

I don't know. I'm just trying to be decisive because then I feel more confident when I don't know what it is. One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1980. He says about it that it's... Oh. He says it rates higher than Bomb simply because it's slightly better than Part 2. So he's doing this interesting retroactive reviewing where he's giving this one more of a higher rating

just because the next one sucks so bad. Holy shit. Yeah. Was that the year of his review then or the year the movie came out? No, he's a time traveler.

Yeah, he definitely had to write this later. Yes. Yeah, he did. And he lists seven names. I really wish we could just do a line instead. Did I just give you the one clue?

Yeah. Let me give you one more. Okay. It was a box office smash. One more clue as to why SAT scores continue to decline. He made an SAT scores joke in this review. Holy shit. Only seven names.

One more reason why SAT scores. Did you take the SATs? No. I didn't even take them. I would have fucking aced it, obviously, but I never even took them. You didn't? No. ACT?

Did you take that? No. You didn't need to take those? The only test I've ever taken was a syphilis test. I fucking passed that shit. That was in like 87. Did you pee on Tom Hanks to do it?

No, but one time I spit on him from a balcony at the Beverly Hills Hotel. All right. He just laughed. I'm like, you know what? Not everything's going well, Tom.

Then he just held up two Oscars and walked away backwards. 1980. The second one. You know what? Fuck it. No names.

Zero names? Yeah, why not? Well, because if you don't know it, that's a stupid thing to do. Well, because I feel like I have an idea, but I don't remember if this movie had a fucking sequel or not. And the SAT part... It did. It did have a sequel. It did? Yeah, negative one.

Okay. Oh, look at her go. So now, Abby... I'm pretty sure I got this one. You said negative two? Yeah. I think I got it. You're like T.J. Miller.

Like, just don't have any idea And play balls to the wall No she's like that Fucking dude in Backdraft She won't even check that door for heat She just fucking kicks that shit open She don't give a fuck The stakes are low

I'm not gonna lie Fucking destroy shit up here Hey Mark You fucking destroy shit up here. Hey, Mark. Let me just ask Mark a question real quick. I'm just curious. When Michael Bay would yell at TJ Miller on the set of Transformers, when he'd yell at him,

you're not being funny enough. Why aren't you saying anything funny? I paid you to be funny. What do you do? Do you just stand there and watch it happen? You want to know a secret about TJ? I would like to, yes. Okay. This is a safe place, right?

It's just between us. Doesn't leave the mission. We never told TJ when we said action or cut. So it's just constantly we're just filming him at whatever the fuck's happening at that time because he just keeps fucking going.

For me, after they set up my personal gym inside my big circus tent, they just come and get me, and they go, fucking go, be a badass. And I'm like, I started this morning, bro. So it was two different levels. I'm ready to go when they need me. TJ never stops.

And then that's why they killed him in the first act. Spoiler alert. Spoiler. But you've all fucking seen Transformers So who am I fucking kidding This dude's taking pictures of himself Jackie Yeah

He says zero names No she went negative one And then Abby Oh you went negative one And then Abby went negative fucking two So it's on you, Mark It's on you Negative two, yeah

I lost track after all that I'm sorry I brought up the TJ Miller thing Negative two says Abby That means she knows the title of the movie And the top two billed performers in that movie I'm gonna tell you something I tell Donnie every fucking day. I believe in you. Now fucking do it.

Do it. Okay. All right, so you got to name the movie. Am I naming them from the bottom or the top? The top. It's so hard. The top. Top, girl.

You're lucky. Top. The two biggest people. I don't say the movie. Top down when we go negative. Say the name of the movie. There's never been more ballsy or bidding by someone who has no idea.

It's awesome. You have to name the movie. Kevin Bacon. And then the second build person. Kevin Bacon. He is the name of the movie and the two top build people. No matter what happens, I will find you.

Wait, what's the movie, first of all? No matter what happens, I will find you. No matter what happens. Yes, sir! Last of the fucking Mohicans. Stop slipping lines in. You got it. You got it.

So easy just to do a line. So what's the name of the movie, Abby? Last of the Mohicans. No. No. No. You got it, Abby. Kevin Bacon did not smoke weed in Last of the Mohicans. How do you know? A peace pipe at most. But he did talk about his SAT scores. A lot of people don't know that.

Kevin Bacon was Tatanka in Last of the Mohicans. Abby, you got this. You got this. I know. Last of the Mohicans. Abby, you got this. You got this. I know. Last of the Mohicans. That's what I said. It's a Kevin Bacon movie. Okay, Footloose. For the record, it's not an either or.

For the record, I'm the only person that didn't eat a marshmallow and I'm okay. Just fucking saying. That's why you don't eat food people hand you, and you never eat anything blue, ever. Nothing should be blue. Did you learn that on a Fireman movie? No, I read it on a Snapplecap. Oh, nice.

All right, so you got Footloose, Kevin Bacon's number one, and John Lithgow's your guess for the second slot? Say yes. Is that what you said? Go-Go Lithgow? Yeah, of course he was. He was against dancing. The reverend or the guy in it.

The pastor? He outlawed dancing. Yeah, you wouldn't allow for it. John Lithgow has done it in real life in some towns. That's my final answer. That's what you're saying? Footloose, Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow. Or Last of the Mohicans.

They're in both. Kevin Bacon is not in Last of the Mohicans. Hollow Man is the other one. Who was second building Hollow Man? She's been on the show. This audience loves answering questions that are not for them. The movie is called Friday the 13th. Oh yeah, that was my other.

And the top two billed people are Betsy Palmer and Adrian King. And Kevin Bacon was coming in in the seventh slot. So if it had gotten down to somebody saying I could name it in one name, that name would have been Kevin Bacon. This just proves that I was right. There was no Animal House 2. Because that's what I fucking thought it was. Oh, you thought it might be Animal House.

Yeah, this was around the same time. It was 78, 78. Yeah, it was early on. Yeah, I think Animal House was his first movie, and this was his the same time. It was early on. I think Animal House was his first movie and this was his second or third. That means Mark Wahlberg is our winner, everybody. I would like to have you

back on the show sometime, Abby. I'd love to be back. And we already talked about getting Doug with High, about you possibly appearing on that. Getting Doug with High? Yeah. And you're reticent because you think you get kind of silly when you're high. Yeah, I do.

Yeah, and I can't possibly be worse than what happened today. And I won't make you eat a shark marshmallow head or whatever the fuck that thing is. But yeah, whatever shows you want to come on, you're always welcome. Abby Elliott, everybody. Sex Ed is the movie. It's sex ed.

You can see it on VOD soon. Yeah, look for Sex Ed. I mean, the title alone, why wouldn't you want to watch that? Oh, the director's here, and she's fucking it up right in front of the director. When is it in theaters, sir? November 7th. November 7th in theaters,

and then a VOD thing around the same time? Yes, around the same time. Yeah, they time them together these days. So one way or the other, whether you watch it at home or with other people, check out Sex Ed. And we've got... Hopefully we'll have some more people from Sex Ed on the show very soon. Mark Wahlberg, what's going on besides...

Fucking Where the Sidewalk Ends. Gone Girl Gone. Check out those fucking movies Yeah Other than that I'm just straight fucking Killing it out here people Fair enough Burgers

Wahlburgers Wahlburgers Emmy nominated You still haven't watched it though right No I've never fucking seen it I've never even eaten there I've never even eaten there I've never even fucking been there But it's great people you should fucking check it out

Jackie Cation everybody Hey guys Host of the Dork Forest podcast Dork Forest, dork on dork dialogue Yeah and I don't know anything about what people come to me with there either. Let's do this.

What? Helium Comedy Club all weekend long. Go see her there. Yeah. And then what? You got any other dates you can talk about in the future? Chicago. Zany's.

I'm doing Zany's. Great club. Good club. Down town. When's that that's in that's like September 20th

or something and then I'm coming back and working with Regan Brian Regan all over weird places like

Billings and Portland I'm doing your schnitzer or whatever and then I'm going to Seattle to do some

other fancy he makes me laugh his career because it's awesome and then I get to be part of it. Brian Regan's the best. He's the best. Tell him to come on this show.

I will. I know he doesn't smoke pot, so I'll settle for him being on this one. He'll be on this one. He'll eat food with you on your other one. Oh, that's cool. He'll do all of it. Oh, my God.

We have Wayne Fetterman on the dining podcast, and he's a fucking idiot. About food. Who'd you? Wayne Fetterman? Oh, Fetterman. Yeah. It's the first comic

to come on the show not know anything about food, spit out some of the food because he doesn't like it. It was crazy. You could totally come on that. He refers to Taco Bell as a diner.

It's his special spot. He's just super into fast food and shitty food and was our first horrible guest. But you were great when you were on, Jackie. You told us a lot about cooking chicken. That's it. I'm going to start a new podcast

calling Getting Chicken with Jackie or Getting Jackie with Chicken. And then we're afraid of things and then we eat chicken. Also forgot to say, if anybody wants to work out tomorrow or any girls want to make a memory tonight, I'll be in the fucking back. But Jackie,

I truly love that podcast idea. You go to a haunted house. There's a nice chicken spread set up in the back of the house. But you turn off all the lights and you and your guests have to go through every room of the house. And if you can get through it without being too scared,

then you get rewarded with chicken. It's already being done. Already being done. It's called Knott's Scary Farm. It's Knott's Scary Farm in Los Angeles, and they have a lot of scary stuff. And then they got a chicken restaurant right there. Right.

That's just a fact. It isn't funny. It is not funny. No, you're right. You're right. Sometimes comedy is just facts, you guys. Yeah, sometimes I'm just here to teach. I'm going to be in Vegas doing

Doug Lowe's movies at the Plaza Hotel on Saturday, September 6th at 420 DougLowe'sMovies.com and everybody, please come back tomorrow and watch Greatest Movie Ever Rolled right here in this beautiful theater. Is there a shithead on the back of your name tag, Jackie? On the back of mine there sure is. Yeah, pass it down.

Thank you. And that's their consolation prize, Abby. You're going to find out about that right now. Okay. All right. These are interesting ones. All right. These are interesting ones.

One more time for all of my guests. Abby Elliott, Mark Wahlberg, Jackie Cation. Thank you guys so much for coming. Love you, Portland. And as always, waiting until the last minute to make your name tag. This name tag is a shithead. This was last minute? Holy crap.

I hate to see what you do when you put some time into it, because this is elaborate and a good name tag. And, of course, I don't know what reaction this is going to get. People who stand in line at Voodoo donuts are a shit now it's time for doug to watch another talkie eyes of gold is viewing prowess makes him cocky there's no room in his heart for you