Doug Loves Movies - "Mark Wahlberg," Adam Burke and an audience member guest

Episode Date: August 24, 2017

Live from Thalia Hall in Chicago, Doug welcomes "Mark Wahlberg," Adam Burke and audience member Rachel Dent to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and tasty, sticky seeds With bitty acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Oh, my God. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Coming to you once again from Talia Hall

in Chicago, Illinois. It's Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017. I got my Tito's. I got some folks that brought donuts. The generous, nice people who brought donuts to the show tonight got them confiscated at the front door. This is a classy joint, you guys. But guess what? I brought some of them on stage anyway. I mean, they said I could bring a few out here.

They gave me permission, you guys. But the question right now that looms over all of us is, you out here. They gave me permission, you guys. But the question right now that looms over all of us is, what's the name tag situation like tonight? If I get the house lights up a little bit.

Alright, I've got a very, very special hasn't happened... Oh, there's name tags in the balcony aren't you hopeful alright so here's the deal I've seen Finding Nico before

out in Rosemont right that's right holy shit so lots of great name tags very well done don't put them down yet. I've got two amazing guests waiting in the wings to come out on stage, but we need one more person to join us up here for the entire show. So now the question is, put your name tag down if you don't want to come up on stage and be the third guest.

If you're shy, if you're shitty at trivia, if you don't like people looking up your skirt, those are all reasons to go ahead and put them down, because I'm going to pick three of you right now. You're going to go over to this side over here and someone's gonna help you come up onto the stage. We're gonna get three people up here to play a game to determine which one of you gets to stay.

So let's start with Finding Nico because that's the biggest, craziest sign. Guy's out of his mind. Yeah, that's cool. Who else really wants to get up here? I'm kind of into the guy that has the Doug Hart's Tito's poster. Come on up here, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's pick one more. What's with the dress over there? Why is there a big version of me wearing a dress? Craig and the real girl? I'm supposed to be your... your blow-up doll? What is this one right here? Dent pool.

What does that mean? Dent is my last name. Your last name is Dent? All right, come on up here, Dent. It's Harvey Dent, everybody. Harvey Dent's daughter. Rachel. Oh, really? His wife's name is Rachel? Oh, shut up. Alright, we're going to get three people up here and and we're gonna play a round of Last Man Standing to determine who stays. Come on up, you guys.

Grab any seat you like. And, uh... Use your microphone voice. Yeah, just grab one. There you go. It's like musical chairs. Wow, there's fucking patriarchy up here. These guys know where they want to sit. Keep her away from me.

But let's say hello to her first. It's Rachel Dent, everybody. She made a beautiful Dent Pool name tag poster Candy, not for you And I'm somewhat of a sucker for Deadpool stuff so I like that a lot What do you do for a living, Rachel Dent?

I'm a burlesque dancer You're a what? I'm a burlesque dancer. You're a what? I am a burlesque dancer. Okay. Thought that might have been what you said. Yeah. It can be a profession, guys. Yeah.

And you're taking the night off tonight to be here with us? Of course. I wouldn't miss it. You're taking the night off from taking it off? Yeah. But, you know, it's good I'm up here Because I don't mind people looking up my dress Hey You know what I kind of sensed

That it wouldn't be a problem for you And I'm glad it's working out now for all of us Thank you for being up here Rachel Thank you What's the dude's name next to you? Let me see your sign dude Oh that's Nico of course Finding Nico It's a huge pink sign Rachel. Thank you. What's the dude's name next to you? Let me see your sign, dude. Oh, that's Nico,

of course. Finding Nico. It's a huge pink sign. And what do you do, Nico? I'm a bartender. Alright. You don't want to say where? You don't want to get people to come by and say, hey, Nico. Not tonight, no. I'm not saying they all have to go there tonight. McCormick and Schmicks.

Oh, okay. Popular chain. Save your money. Whoa! What are you thinking? You sending everybody to Chili's instead? All right. And this dude that says I love Tito's, is your name Tito?

No, it's also George, and I'm also a bartender. Yeah, fun fact. But I'll totally play my, where I work. It's the W Hotel, Lakeshore location. Come on by. I'll hook you guys up. Fill the bar. It's very expensive

drinks, but... Yeah, he will hook you up with very expensive drinks. I will put very pricey shit in front of you and then I will take cash or credit for that. Yes. Absolutely.

How about you throw in something, like nobody has to tip you. No, no, no, I mean, please tip, please tip, but I'll get you half off on food. Oh. The food's good, guys. I bet it is. I like, you know,

blah, blah, blah, blah, know... Here's what I like about the W. It's any time I'm awake in my room, in the elevator, in the bar, I know that if I want to, I can just hear... It's so true. Yeah, it's very... Our music is very bad. It's a throbbing place.

No, you're right. You're right. Don't go there. It's always thumping. There's so many other hotels. If Thumper's your favorite character in Bambi, if you're like, oh, I wish that movie was just Thumper

just thumping the shit out of everything, the W Hotel is for you. But I do like it a lot. Gotta throw that in there because we need sponsors on this show. Doug, I can hook you up. Doug loves W Hotels. I'm whispering right now.

Doug loves McCormick and Schmitz. And Doug loves Naked Ladies. Thank y'all. Yeah. Alright, you guys. So the three of you are going to play... Are you all familiar with Last Man Stanton? Yes. All right.

Yes, sir. I didn't really think ahead of how to decide who would go first. So we'll start with Rachel. And then go to Nico. And then to Bartender. What'd you say your name was? It was George. I mean, you understand the concept of a name tag, right, George?

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I have... The idea was brought to the show because I can't remember people's names. I have zero talent as far as Photoshopping, so I figured I'll save the Tito's text. Dude, whatever, it worked.

You're fucking up here. I'm so proud of myself. But I just, you know, I feel like, and we'll do this again some other time, but I feel like when I pick people randomly from the audience, that I'm attracted to bartenders and strippers. people randomly from the audience, then I'm attracted to bartenders and strippers.

If there were any budtenders here tonight, they would be up on stage. Oh, do we have some? Okay, did you make a name tag? No. But thank you for being here, and I'll see you outside after. Alright, so we need a name for these three folks to play Last Man Stanton with, and I'll play along, because I don't know. It'll be fun.

Where is a pre-selected Twitter follower named Rob Grabbo? Did I pronounce it right? Grabo? Grabbo? Grabbo. Rob Grabbo with one B. Two B's if you count the B in Rob. Rob Grabbo. And

you wrote to me today. You said you had an amazing suggestion for Last Man Stanton. So, oh, shit. For a second there, I was worried you might withhold the name, but it sounds like you're ready to give it up. And what is that name, sir?

Danny DeVito. Dan DeVito. This could be a short one. So to speak. Rachel Dent, do you have a start us off with a Danny DeVito movie? Your lifelines are yourselves. Okay.

You're in this alone. Death to Smoochie. Yes. Director as well. There's no extra points for initial trivia or enthusiasm. Okay, sorry. Mm-hmm. Nico?

Big fish. Yeah. Now, just because people didn't applaud doesn't mean they don't like you. George? Doug, I'm gonna go with Matilda. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good pull.

If they do applaud, that means they do like me, right? No, they just... Okay, I know. It's weird. They applaud for movies they like. I know. It's just random what they applaud for. I know how it works. Like, the fact that nobody

applauded for Big Fish just tells me this crowd got along great with their parents. Like, everyone here had a loving dad. Because I think that's what it's about, right? Anyway. Okay, I'm going to say Tin Men. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Rachel? Matilda. Matilda. We just... Thank you. Thank you very much. Rachel? Matilda. We just... It just happened, Matilda. Sorry. But you see how tough this shit is now. You can't just get on stage and keep yelling Matilda over and over again.

What have you got? One flew over the cuckoo's nest. Yes, got? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Yes, it did. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Very well done. Nico. Batman.

Hang on, everybody. Hang on, everybody. George, you too. Who died made you Georgian jury. Woo! Nico, we need a more specific title.

Was he the talented Mr. Ripley? That's not how this game works. You can't go on a big fishing expedition here. You need to just say... All right, Batman Begins? No, it's not. No, it's not. Hang on, hang on.

Your noises are going to help him. He's got to pick one. Just go with one title, Nico. It's not feeling good for you in general. At this point. Fuck. Fuck. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The Batman. All right, Nico. Thank you for playing, but you're out. No, if you're quiet, you can just sit there for a second. Okay. Okay, George. I believe it's Batman Forever. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. That means that Rachel Dead is the one who gets to stay. Yes, it was the second Michael Keaton Batman, so it's called Batman Returns. Batman Returns. But thank you to both George and to Nico. Can we help them find their way? Just go off to this side over here thanks guys

nice try and Rachel if you could exit to that side over there you'll be joined by the other two guests who will give you some last minute tips right no just go right over where that flashlight is there you go alright

and you know when you come back, have less on. Do burlesque shows have an HR department? All right. She's very nice. We have a therapist in the room if anybody needs it. Doug plugs, this Saturday, San Francisco Castro Theater, 420, 50 Shades of Gray. I mean darker. 50 Shades of Darker Gray is going to be interrupted.

And for that and all my shows, go to douglosmovies.com. That's douglosmovies.com! Yeah! Yeah! Hey! All right. There's a lot of anger on both sides.

There's a lot of anger on both sides. So I got a bag full of stuff for you. For one person's going to win the bag of prizes tonight. This is kind of a cool thing I got somewhere along the way. I think it was a hangout music festival maybe. But it's like a little fan for your face, but it's also got like water in it so you can like, you can spritz your face with water while you're fanning yourself. What's that? Throw it up in the balcony?

No, it's gonna go to somebody who brought a name tag and also is not sitting in the balcony. So good luck. Then you just suddenly hear, ah! I'm good now. A card from, a blue card from Getting Doug With High.

A Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. Several Peacemaker pipes, all the different shapes and sizes that peacemaker makes. The hotel gave me like a $50 gift certificate if you spend $60, which seems like, what kind of store is this that has items they're willing to give away for $10 that normally cost $60? Doesn't seem like it's going to be the best stuff. But I'm not going to say the name of the place

because then you'll know what hotel I'm staying in. But the winner's going to get that and then have to figure it out where it is. Oh no, they got locations in London and New York and Beverly Hills. I'll just say it. It's Chipotle.

And also a copy of my album, Promotional Tool, my new album, Lexington, Kentucky's out now. Oh, and also, like I said, people brought donuts. This is from, somebody brought these from Doughboy's Donuts. Yeah, and we've also got a guy named Kirk. It was also supposed to be his name tag, I guess. He brought some from, what's it called? Spinky?

Spinky Dunkey? What, Spunky dunkers okay I'm glad I'm not eating those I don't want to eat a fucking spunky dunker I'm going to type that into a search engine on a porn site make sure I know

exactly what I'm getting into but that was made by someone named... These donuts were made by someone named Kirk, and he just took... He cut the Dunn out of the Dunkirk poster and then put it on top of the Spunky Donuts. And then so the Dunn... So it's Spunky Dunkirk.

Which, that would be a completely different movie. If everyone was, like, just skipping and and just real spunky go-getters instead of people hiding from being bombed on. The tagline for Dunkirk should have been, on the beach, everyone can hear you scream.

Too soon Too soon, says the balcony Alright, so my guests also brought prizes And they're waiting to get out here And they're three good ones You've already met one of them So please Give a big warm welcome To out here and there are three good ones you've already met one of them so please give a big warm welcome to Adam Burke Rachel Dent and Mark Wahlberg Thank you. This is going to be an interesting competition.

Very excited to have the three of you here. And let's meet them individually. Starting with our friend, Chicago comedy phenom, Adam Burke, everybody. Hello. Starting with our friend, Chicago comedy phenom, Adam Burke, everybody. Hello. Hi, Doug. Welcome to the proceedings. Were you impressed by Rachel's performance against those bartenders?

That sounds like a cute little indie movie, doesn't it? Rachel against the bartenders. Yes. She's going to get into that club if it kills her. Even though two of her exes work behind the bar. Right. That's a Noah Baumbach joint. Oh, no.

Okay. So who are we seeing in the Rachel Dent role? It depends how she does. This is, this is her audition, I think, to play herself in the movie about herself. Again, I'm sorry that you've got a short skirt on and you're sitting on a tall stool. That was not, you know, my intention at all. What's weird is Doug was referring to me at that point.

You'd look all right in a kilt. You could pull it off. Let's also say hello. Let's go all the way to the other side of the panel. Sitting there so patiently. I'm so grateful he comes on the show. The world's, this year's highest paid actor. Mark Wahlberg. Mark Wahlberg.

How you guys doing? You doing good? What's up, Chicago? For the listener at home, if it sounded weird when I walked out, I almost fell off the stage and my aura caught me. You're right, dude. I am the highest paid fucking actor in the world. And you know who I fucking beat out to do it? Dwayne.

That motherfucker Gravel Johnson. He's like, oh, Mark, did you fucking see? 2016, 65 mil. I go, all right, hold my dumbbell. 68, motherfucker. Isn't it safe to say, though, that you engineered your own opportunity to make more than him

by hiring him to be on a TV show that you produce while you're still making movies? Isn't that a little bit unfair? Nope. It's like entourage with two less guys. Just two of them walking around

making deals, meeting girls yeah you're just speaking a synonym for the word great that's people to pay fucking ain't dude we got it down to two people Rob Corddry who's fucking awesome and that other guy And that other guy. He's got that Jumanji movie coming out. He might... That's not fucking Jumanji, dude. You don't go into the world

and then be like, I'm in Jumanji. Jumanji comes into you and fucking Bonnie Hunt and David Alan Greer save the fucking day. Make a movie without Bonnie Hunt? What the fuck's wrong with you? She might have a cameo. A little wink and nod cameo. I try to get her in every single movie I can.

Bonnie Hunt? She's hard to fucking get, dude. Chicago's own Bonnie Hunt. I know. Former Southside nurse holding that shit down. I'm always like, Bonnie, come on.

Because I'm the fucking best person in the world, I call her number two. I'm like, number two, you gotta fucking do this movie with me. We're gonna make it happen. We're gonna make

Return to Me the sequel. That's my fucking plan. What's that gonna be? It's called Oh, You Returned. That's the title? Working bro, fucking working What's the new Daddy's Home called? Daddy's Home 2

Not Daddy's Home Also? 2's better because then people know Oh it's just another one You're right Comes out this fall, it's just another one. You're right. Yeah. Comes out this fall, it's gonna be fucking good. You're not making a Patriots Day 2, are you? Because if you are, you should really let us know ahead of time.

No, we got no plans right now. That's what I pitched. I was like, why don't we make sequels to this fucking movie just to prove terrorists? We will get your fucking ass. Because then they might see it and be like, oh, never mind, we already saw how this goes. Mark Wahlberg comes in and fucking beats the shit out of us.

Yeah, it'd be a good way to stop crime, I think. Terrorism. Yeah. Speaking of ways to stop terrorism. Joining us tonight for the first time ever on the show, it's Rachel Dent, everybody! I don't know what the pageant hand wave was, but that's what I felt.

I felt regal in that moment. So I did that. Oh, okay. Well, keep in mind that mostly listening is happening. Yes! Listeners, I think I'm cooler than I am. There's like 400 awesome people that came out tonight on probably the single

nicest night in Chicago that you'll have all year, so thank you. We'll try to keep this short. Rachel, I hate to spring this on you, but you just happen to have and Rachel, I hate to spring this on you, but do you just happen to have anything that would be good for the prize bag? Yeah, so I brought

some golf stoppers. Oh, that were attached to your poster. Your name tag. So that's cool. So we could just put the golf stoppers in the old prize bag. That's beautiful. If it were Sour Patch Kids, it'd be like

Sean Jordan was here. But damn, that's so sad. I had Sour Patch too, but I chose those. I thought Deadpool, which is my sign, would like gobstoppers. That'd be funny if somebody asked you in a bar, what's your sign, and you said Deadpool.

That's what I'm going to do from now on. I think that's a solid answer. That's her defense against the bartenders. I also think all the people sitting in that... I thought they must be cool people. You guys have to be reaching the maximum capacity for that box. It's a VIP situation, but they

also look like robots. They look the same. All of them. In the private box over there. Is that the private box over there. Is that the band from Chuck E. Cheese? It's the Chuck E. Cheese band on their night off. Let's go see some comedy and sit in the VIP section where we belong. All right, so Adam, what do you got for the prize bag?

I got, let's see, got a copy of my album. Blah, blah, blah. Let's just say it's called blah, blah, blah. I like old books about old movies. I picked this up. This is a book from the 60s called The Films of W.C. Fields. And I like old books about old movies because they never have any commentary. They're always just a list of movies the guy made. And then they just

tell you the plot. It's really great. Because there's no VHS. So they just go. And then the third I always feel like I don't do a good enough job on the prize bag. So I made something. I drew a picture of Hal Needham. Does anyone know

who Hal Needham is? He's the great stuntman turned director. Exactly. Smoking the Bandit and Hooper. And he lived in Burt Reynolds' guest house for 12 years. I just figured people wouldn't have a picture, like, wouldn't have a drawing. This looks exactly like him.

Exactly. Like, if his corpse were in trouble, you could, you know, pass wouldn't have a drawing. This looks exactly like him. Like if his corpse were in trouble you could pass this around to find him. That's the good thing about drawing a picture of someone nobody knows. You can just say it's a perfect likeness and they can't correct you.

But I know Hal Needham and you nailed it. Oh, thanks. Yeah, you did a good job. Alright, Mark. What, you did a good job. All right. Mark? What's up, Don? I fucking brought a good gift, man. Stole this from Donnie's shelf.

It's Barricade, a Transformers deal. And if you want me to, I'll fucking sign it. And if you need that to pay your rent... You're a normal person. Don't worry about it. If you need that to pay your rent, you're a normal person. Don't worry about it. Ages five and up. All right, so somebody's going to win all that stuff tonight. A couple of quick questions for y'all before we do that, though.

Starting with Adam, what was the last movie you saw? I wish I could say it was one with Mark, but it was Logan Lucky I saw. Yeah, he's not in Logan Lucky. Why aren't you in Logan Lucky? You know why. You already know the fucking answer to that question. Because it was low budget? Turned it down.

Because? Just didn't feel like fucking doing it. I thought it was a James Bond movie. I'm like, I'm not doing a fucking James Bond movie. They're like, no, no, he's different. I'm like, is James Bond in it? They're like, technically. I'm like, then no. Then I come James Bond movie. They're like, no, no, he's different. I'm like, is James Bond in it? They're like, technically. I'm like, then no.

Then I come to find out it was a great fucking deal. If you were offered the role of James Bond, do you think you could essay it? Has he ever died on camera? Has he ever died? James Bond's never died, right? No, no, no. Okay, so that definitely means I could do it.

Would you do the accent? I mean, yeah. You mean talk like I normally fucking talk? I would probably think about it. But, I mean, why? I could just fucking... Did you see Shooter? So you're saying you could just point to an existing movie

and say you've already been James Bond? Four Brothers, Contraband, Invincible, Three Kings. I feel like I've already fucking done it. Yeah, those are all James Bond movies. Yeah. James Bond-esque. Yeah, very much so. Like one guy handles all the shit,

handles it when nobody else can, lone survivor, a.k.a. you all fucking saw it. All right. Did you like Lucky Logan? Adam? What's that. Did you like Lucky Logan? Adam? What's that? Did you like Lucky Logan? I thought it was really good. I'm just finding out about the mystery

about the person who wrote it. Have you heard about this? No. Apparently it's written by someone called Rebecca Blunt and they're now saying that she doesn't exist. But I think, didn't the screenplay say two names or just say her? Just her. Well, Rebecca Blunt is two names.

It's the first and the last one. Yeah, just the second name just is a thing to me. But maybe she's related to Emily Blunt. Maybe. But maybe Steven Soderbergh wrote it himself under a pseudonym. That's what they're saying. They're saying that's how much Hollywood dislikes women in creative positions

as soon as someone writes a really good script someone goes ah she probably doesn't exist she's probably Steven Soderbergh that wasn't my theory you're the one that brought up that she doesn't exist I would also like to distance myself from that theory. I feel like you would know. Have you heard of her?

No, I'm getting far away from any commentary on this sort of allegation. I heard that that movie was written by a Nazi. Once again, Mark Wahlberg has nothing to do with these rumors. Rachel, have you been to the movies? I haven't been to the movies, but I watched one at home. That works.

Mars Attacks. Danny DeVito's also in that one. That was going to be my next. Oh, yeah. You would have still been in that game. I would have still been, yeah. I would have next gone with... Yeah, what?

Throw Mama from the Train. Yes! Nice. But enough about what we would have done. Do you like that movie? I love it so much. That's why you were watching it? It was a repeat viewing?

Yeah, on Hulu, everyone. Okay, everyone. I'm really into sci-fi, let's just say. Okay. And Have you seen Transformers the last night? You know, I'm so sorry. It's rhetorical.

It's rhetorical. That's a rhetorical fucking question. The answer's obvious. You don't even have to try and make him feel better so shining and the ghost double feature at the park recently at Millennium Park well you started with I haven't been to a movie outside of my home now it's all coming back to you but that's a great double bill yeah yeah it's great all right influence the Mars attacks that's all I see

Shining and Ghost Jack Nicholson the Shining and what was the other one the other one's incidental then she saw Mars attacks it's okay she didn't need to bring up Ghost Story

I didn't need to bring that Ghost Story or whatever that other one was. I didn't need to bring that stuff up at all. Yeah. That's cool. I'm sorry. You're doing great. Mark, have you been to the cinema? I know you're busy flying around.

Yeah, I usually just have it sent over. I watched, you know what, I fucking watched Wind River, dude. What's it called? Wind River? Wind River. Yeah, it's really, really fucking good. With Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen. Uh-huh. And you loved it? Yeah, as far as I could tell, it's like

this dude who was also Jason Bourne decides to live out the wilderness for a while. And he fucking handles his shit. See, I thought it was another car chase movie. I thought it was Wind Driver. So I was like, really? Oh, never mind. Okay. It's called A Sailboat.

But whatever. Yeah, Mark Wahlberg really has a way of making you take back your jokes. He really does. When he glares at you when you're trying to tell a joke and it's not hitting with anybody. The joke crawls back into your face as he's looking at you.

He stares you down. Yeah, he really does. Yeah, it's intimidating. He's got something she said in the audience. The lady yelled out. It's irrelevant. More rhetorical shit, I'm sure. But yeah, no, it was a really, really fucking good movie.

So you recommend people see that, even though you're not in it? No. Isn't that fucking crazy? It is. I just liked it. I liked that Taylor Sheridan dude. He fucking wrote Sicario. He wrote Hell or High Water.

And now he's got this movie out. Are you going to try to work with him? I mean, I think the better question is, is he going to try and work with me? Yeah, that is a better question. And so the answer is yes. You've got to imagine everyone asks you to work with work with me? Yeah, that is a better question. And so the answer is yes. You got to imagine everyone asks you to work with them, right? Dude, all the time. All the time. Remember with fucking Baby Driver?

Yeah. Turn down three rolls in that fucking movie. Which three? The Driver. Okay. Baby. K-Space. Kevin Spacey's part? And then, The Diner. You were up for the role of The Diner?

Fucking A, dude. Have you played diners in other movies that I haven't realized? I haven't. One time I played a booth in a diner. Oh, wow. So you're really expanding your... Want to know what movie?

Yeah, which movie? L.A. Confidential Dude, the whole fucking scene I'm like, you don't fucking think I can hold these people up While they talk to each other about who killed fucking who And we can't figure out the goddamn plot Watch me, motherfucker I'm gonna have to re-watch that now

For the listener at home, I'm proving it. Yeah, where'd that booth come from? Oh, there's suddenly a booth on stage. The VIP section sucked during that part, though. No, they didn't. They got the best fucking view in the house. There's only people in the boxes on one side of the theater. I hope we don't tip over. It always sucks when you're on a plane and they're like,

we need to move some people around for balance issues. Like, I didn't know one fat fuck could really ruin this trip for everybody. And that that fat fuck was me. Rachel, we ask a question all the time on the show that, you know, I'm going to be springing it on

you now. So let's start with Mark because he's answered this question before. What's the best movie I've never seen? Shit, dude, you're fucking hitting me with this too, bro. The best movie... First of all, did you see Equilibrium yet? No, that's on the list.

Okay, all right. Just fucking checking. Applaud if you've seen Equilibrium. Now applaud if you don't think it's that great. Bullshit. that great. Bullshit. Yeah, memorize their faces.

Don't pick their name tag when the time comes. That's the problem. Even when I go to fight somebody, in their head, they're still thinking, he looked at me. Alright, I'm still gonna, I'll keep equilibrium up towards the top of my list of things to check out. I've got to say, for Equilibrium,

the main actors in that, if someone was going to tell you that one of those people will go on to play Batman, would you have guessed Christian Bale or would you have guessed our esteemed guest? I'm not in it. You're not in it? Fuck no, dude.

Oh, I just assumed. Didn't you see how few people have seen it? it's obviously not a Mark Wahlberg movie I just figured you were a booth or something

I thought maybe you were like a retaining wall or something I don't know no he knows I've seen every Mark Wahlberg movie

so he can't he's gotta come up with one but Equilibrium is the one he's sticking with so I guess I'm gonna have to see it I really want you to fucking see it do, but equilibrium is the one he's sticking with, so I guess I'm going to have to see it.

I really want you to fucking see it. Do you have one, Adam? Yeah, Ninochka. Ninochka? Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. So what's her name, right? Yeah, her.

Greta Garbo? Yes. Yeah, I've seen her. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah, her. Greta Garbo? Yes. Yeah, I've seen her. Oh, wow, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought I had you. Yeah, I've seen a lot of old shit like that. It's all right.

Rachel, do you have one for me? Put it in there. Ladies in Lavender? Okay, so I don't know what that is, but I can't imagine it being something that I would like. You might cry. What is Ladies in Lavender? The lovely...

Judy Dench. Dame Judy Dench. Oh, now you've got my interest. Oh, my God. It's got Wilhelmina in it. And Dame Maggie Smith together again. Two games for the price of one, which was the

marketing for a fresh out of Running Hogwarts. Yeah. She's a good one. Those are two good old actresses. That sounds like an amenity had ended. We're all out of fresh running Hogwarts.

Sorry. All right, so if you're keeping track at home, that's two strikes for Adam. Yeah. One more, and Mark Wahlberg's going to throw a battery at his nuts. It's a weird punishment, but that's, you know, I don't make the rules. George R.R. Martin decides everything that happens on this stage. Sometimes it's cruel.

All right. Here's the part of the show where Bert turns it off, because I'm about to say, let the games begin. Let the games begin. Name tags, come out of the shadows. Let the games begin! Name tags, come out of the shadows! Lots of great name tags. George thinks he's back in the running.

Go ahead and go grab one, you guys. Be careful coming on and off the stage. There's a way to go around over here if you wanna be safer about it. Oh, look at her go. She does not give a shit. Alright, we'll be right back. Hey everybody,

while name tags are being chosen, I just wanted to remind you to go to iTunes and purchase my new album Lexington 5-7-17 if you would like to purchase my new album. It's only $3.99. I'm out of my mind. Back to the show. All right, we're back. Adam Burke, who are you playing for? I am playing for Courtney, way at the back.

Does she have her full name on there? No Courtney for old men. No Courtney for old Ken. Oh. Has this two people made this? One, but it's still, you're with a guy named Ken? Okay. She decided to drag him into it.

Just because it was a fun name. No country for old Ken. No Courtney for old Ken. Holy shit. Isn't the, you're normally supposed to take him out of the fucking bag. Oh no, we kicked your drink over. He did it for the food. But yeah, some crunch mini donuts,

donettes, just crashed onto the stage. It was very violent. I'll put them in the prize bag. Someone gets to go home with that weirdo's donuts. Fucker threw fucking carbs at me, dude. What the fuck's wrong with you, bro? Rachel, who are you playing for? Uh, Thomas Doug Benson's

The Nightmare Before Chris Thomas And there's more candy Yeah, there is, holy shit Cookie Dough Bites and the Sour Patch Kids Yeah, so You get to keep those if you want, Rachel Oh, you don't want to add them to the bag? No, you picked the name tag because you wanted that candy, didn't you?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah, so that's yours to keep. Congratulations. Might be the last thing you win today. We'll see. We'll see.

Mark, what do you have down there? It's a big one. And I got a big sign. It's too fucking easy. It's not a good joke. You shouldn't even fucking laugh at it, but it was too fucking easy. Dude, it's that fucking game you always play

with a person's name. Purple Rain Man. Fucking A, bro. That's somebody named Rain is in there, audience? I'm guessing. That's your last name? Purple Rain Man. Fuckin' A, bro. Somebody named Rain is in there, audience? I'm guessing. That's your last name? Your first name is Rain? Your first name's Rain? That's fuckin' badass, bro. Are you

Rain's prebus? Hanging out? He lost his gig, right? But it's Purple Rain Man. He's got me on there. He's got Mark Wahlberg on there. He's got Kumail Nanjiani. So two out of three. Yeah. You're just hoping Kumail would be here today?

It's like wishful name tag making. Well, you got Rachel instead, dude. I know. I'm sorry, guys. I don't apologize. I would have loved Kumail. How do you feel about these two guys? Yeah, Rachel, I'm going to go on a limb here and say you really lucked out.

Well, I'm getting a lot of heat from this side. It's called aura, babe. Is your aura like the fifth highest paid actor? That's a great point. I'm going to start billing for my aura. Yeah, if your aura's around, it should be making some money for its trouble. Yeah, dude, I need an aura bump.

If your aura's hanging out, let's get on the payroll. All right, it's funny that someone made a Purple Rain Man name tag, because that's the first game we're going to play tonight, Purple Rain Man. Everybody guess as often as you like. I'm going to start with the third build people, then the second build, and the first build in a movie mashup title.

The first name's always the first movie. The second name's the second movie. Guess as often as you like. Just the people on stage. I know, right? Isn't that a shame? You just have to watch. It's like, don't you hate it when movies are like

not responding to what you're saying? The third billed actors in this movie mashup title are J.B.ove and Terry Hatcher. Yeah, that's probably a tough one. I'll give you guys a second in case anybody has some sort of inkling. It doesn't look good. But this next pair of names might be helpful.

But this next pair of names might be helpful. Lance Crowther and Kurt Russell. Settle down. The guy over there says he's got it. Might not even be the answer. Who knows what he's got? It just means like it. More mini donuts raining down from above.

No guesses? All right. First billed people in this movie mashup title are Chris Rock and Sylvester Stallone. This is a weird one. I got it. What is it? Poodie, Tango, and Cash. That's correct. Mark, would you like to throw a donut into the crowd?

Fucking A, I would. Come and get it. There's some powdered ones, a chocolate one, that one. Here it comes Alright, I'm gonna aim for that fucking sombrero Oh, get it in the sombrero I like this game I'm gonna play this game Here's the deal

Here's the deal I did a marathon and a half today Here's the deal. It's just gonna hit that guy in the face. Here's the deal. I did a marathon and a half today. So if I'm two or three people off, get those fucking mouths open. Doug, go first. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow.

Made it. I made it! Sorry, Mark. I didn't mean to upstage you. First of all, not possible. Because you know what? You get to tell everybody you did that in front of Mark Wahlberg. Second of all, for the listener at home,

I let Doug borrow my aura for a second. Here we go. Ready? Underhand. Oh, yeah, that's what I was... Dude. I would have sworn you an overhand guy. You've never fucking seen Rookie of the Year?

There's a mom who looks like Jane Lynch standing right behind this guy saying, float it. Here we go. Fucking A, Chicago! We all go home now, right? That's what happens? We all just go home?

That was impressive. I'm going to call it early. I'm going to call it early. Somebody's getting an extra hotel key tonight. For the listener at home, you know what fucking happens. I think my least favorite euphemism for sex is, let me put my donut in your sombrero.

Get on board, brother. Just leads to a siesta. Feels good to have my aura back, I'll tell you that. All right, so Mark gets to go first in this next game, and it's a little something called Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? I'll say to Mark and Mark alone, the tagline for a motion picture. He gets to guess. If he can't guess it, we'll move to Rachel and Mark alone the tagline for a motion picture.

He gets to guess. If he can't guess it, we'll move to Rachel and then to Adam. One guess each. What did you call me? Huh? Okay.

You just say that about once every hour, right? No, I thought he called me Marky Markaroni. I don't think so. All right. You know what? I'm going to give myself one. Thank you. But Mark, you get to go first.

Okay. Marcaroni. I still heard you. What movie? Can I ask Mark a quick question? Is your pickup line, What Did You Call Me? Did you just go out?

No. What is it? Hello. Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. Yeah. All right, Mark.

What movie had the tagline, Power? He loved it. He took it raw in big gulpfuls. He liked the taste. The way it mixed with bourbon. And the sin in his blood. That is a tagline for a motion picture.

That's long. It's a chatty tagline. Very descriptive. I'm going to be honest, dude. I thought you were chatty tagline. Very descriptive. I'm going to be honest, dude. I thought you were joshing me for a second there. No, it's real. This is real. There hasn't been a movie called The Mark Wahlberg Story, right? No, do you think that would be the tagline for it?

That or winner. Okay. Power. He loved it. He drank too much of it. He liked it with bourbon. Yeah, he loved it. He drank too much of it. He liked it with bourbon. Yeah, that's close. If this were the repeat it back game, you did all right.

Fucking A, dude. Just think of a movie about someone who, well, for instance... drank power in raw big gulpfuls. Okay. Um... Jesus Christ. Oh, shit, my glass is empty. Could you refill it with more power? Power in big fucking gulp falls.

Don't cook it, I want it raw. Wall Street, Money Never Sleeps. Oh. Terrible title, great guess, no. Rachel? Oh man. I have no idea. No. Rachel? Man. I have no idea. Right? It's a tough one.

Adam? Just get me. American Gangster? That's not a bad guess. But this is more of an old-timey kind of tagline when they go into that much weird detail. Power. He loved it. He took it raw.

I mean, it doesn't make any fucking sense. It sounds very sexual. I'm surprised they didn't specify the type of bourbon. Yeah, but it is a classic from 1957, and I thought it would be perfect for what happened tonight because we brought somebody up from the audience. It's a movie called A Face in the Crowd.

Right, with Andy Griffith. Classic movie. Still resonates today, if you will. It's about fame and power and taking big gulpfuls of it. Alright, so let's try another one. We'll start with Mr. Wahlberg. What movie had the tagline,

Is the price of stardom a broken heart? Damn. The answer is no. Okay, that's good to know. I inadvertently asked you that question. But it is good to know. A star is born? From 1937, that's correct.

Wow! Wow! You drop the mic a lot. Let me tell you something, brother. If you rolled like me, you would have reason to as well. Would you ever just bring your own mic because you know it's going to be fucked by the time you're done? I mean, it's a mic. What do those fucking cost? Two bucks? Yeah, you can get them at the convenience store.

Yeah, and like all good doggies, he keeps it on the rug. Fucking A, bro. He drops it on the rug, gives it a little soft cushion. Rachel gets to go first on this one. You have a chance to tie it up with Mark. What movie had the tagline, the applause of the world, and then this?

The applause of the world. And then this. Definitely wish I was better at this. These are tough ones for sure. I like that as a tagline. I definitely wish I was better at this. I think I'm going to have to stick with that. I'm sorry. I'd rather not. I think I'm going to have to stick with that. I'm sorry. I'd rather not.

That was the tagline for the movie W. It's funny. You guys have mixed emotions because part of you is like, I kind of wish he was still around right now. That's where we're at. Yep. All right. So do you have any idea, Adam? Um I really don't

It's not, no No idea Mark The day the earth stood still I wouldn't even dare to say that's a good guess, but... Well, nobody's clapping. Yeah. The applause of the world, and then this,

was the tagline for a star is born from 1954. Never saw it. And then I looked up the stars born in the 70s to see what the tagline was, and it was tagline free. They didn't even bother. It was just Streisand, Christofferson, fuck you. Doesn't even need it. Have they taglined the new one yet?

No, that's part of the reason I brought it up at all is because they're making a new one. What do you think about that? I mean, if somebody wants to watch a movie about a baby, go ahead. Well, it's not about the actual birth. It's more about her career

that becomes like a star is born through some sort of career opportunity. I'm just telling you, the title's all about birth, so you go see that movie if you want to see that movie. Do you think when you were born, did people know that you were going to be a star? Yeah. What was some of the indicators, do you think?

Let's see. I came out ripped as fuck. I figured that. When they did the talent show, I went first, and then they shut it down afterwards. Done. When I asked my fifth grade teacher if he wanted a fight, he said, no, can I have your autograph? Do you want me to keep going? And he just won.

Whose tagline is it anyway? Would you like to throw a donut, Mr. Wolbert? I do. Come on. We got some powdered ones. It's going to be messy on somebody. Does anyone else have very receptive hats? Yeah. Does anyone have...

Someone's got a bat-ish... Does anyone have one of those Devo hats? Oh, there's a balcony one over here. This guy's... Can you hit that? I went up for a nice little... The thing is, I want to run the mistake

of hitting someone who wants no part of this. Okay, I got my person. They should have brought their protective gear. Yep. Brad Trouble and Little China. Oh, shit. Look out, everyone around there. It's gonna rain.

Oh, there's a lady right in front of it. Wherever this lands, that's what I aimed for. Oh! Move that sign again, motherfucker. There you go. Wait, I'll do your sign. Yeah! Aw.

Bounced off, hit a woman in the head. She didn't get shot, it's just jelly. Shit's all over my fucking jeans. I look like I'm hanging out with Rob Lowe in 1988. Like, Rob, I don't know. That girl looks young. What? All right, Mark gets to go first in our final game of the day. Or the night.

It's nighttime, right? Did that eclipse end yet? And then we'll go to Adam and then to Rachel. And the game is Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.

So just as a quick reminder, you will each get an opportunity to guess what you think might be in the top three of someone's an actor actresses all-time box office achievements after being adjusted for inflation by box office mojo if you get one if you get the one that's came in third you get one. Second gets two, and the first place movie gets three points.

I got a tiebreaker ready after three rounds if we need it. Mark? Yes, my friend. We're friends? Let's just go along with the show. The answer's yes. Alright. The answer is yes. All right.

Come on, dude. We've got like a Copper and Todd situation going on here. Let's just... What? You're going to act like you haven't seen The Fox and the Hound? If you haven't seen that, that's number one on your fucking list.

But I know you've seen it. Of course I've seen Fox and the Hound. It's one of my favorite pubs. No. Oh no, that's the Fox and the Furkin. Pubs have weird names. Mark Wahlberg, give me one of the movies in the top three

of Mr. Jim Carrey. Someone gasped like every time you say a name, they appear in a cloud of smoke. Oh my God, if he appeared right now, I'd be like, you should have been a guest for the whole show. I would have been rude. Yeah, get out. I'd throw like, you should have been a guest for the whole show. I would have been rude.

Yeah, get out. I'd throw him out. Too late, Jim Carrey. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. Okay. That's a big one for him. Adam? I can't believe I'm fucking this up. The Grinch that sold Christmas.

Okay. All right. People are excited for you on that one. People want the full title. I don't really care. It's the one with Grinch and Christmas. Fill in the rest. Yeah, yeah.

No, you were so damn close. And some people prefer to have Dr. Seuss's at the front of it. Oh, I see. You know, but let's not get crazy. I put it at the end. Let's not get crazy. I mean, Dr. Seuss was dead the whole time. Let's be honest.

That was the twist? Yeah, the whole movie's over his dead body. Like, he didn't want it to happen, he died, then they made a movie to celebrate. The cartoon is so perfect. Anyway, what do you got there, Rachel? The Truman Show.

Oh, okay. A lot of interesting choices there. Let's see how you did. Coming in at number three, people are saying their ideas out in the audience. It's not time for that. It's really never time for that. Number three is Bruce Almighty.

Yeah, that was a big one. And then number two, this is funny because I think it came up accidentally earlier, Batman Forever. I did? Wow. Yeah, and then

coming in at number one, How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Nice. Someone in the back is like, I could have sworn it was Mr. Popper's penguins. I was thinking the majestic. Here's a crazy thing. The movie, the number 23

is number 23 on the list. That's fucked up, bro. Yeah, it's mostly fucked up because I just made it up. That's fucked up, bro. Yeah, it's mostly fucked up because I just made it up. That's fucked up, bro. And that's fucked up because I made that up. What?

Yeah, I don't know what we're talking about anymore. Okay, it's... Coming in for a second round, and we'll start this time with Adam, then Rachel, then Mark. The films of Steve Carell.

Again, the crowd is shocked. They can't believe this is happening. Adam's going to say... I'm going to say Evan Almighty. Okay. Because people think it was a bomb, but it was very expensive to make, but it still made a lot of money. Okay.

Sorry, you didn't ask for my reasoning but I gave it anyway. That's alright. It's fair to give your reasoning. Even though we don't want it. 40 year old virgin. Whoa. I didn't wait for you to call

my name. Rachel? Yes. Would you like to stick with that answer? I didn't wait for you to call my name Rachel Yes Would you like to stick with that answer? Yes, I'm going to stick with that Okay, alright 40 year old virgin Now we go to It's always great when Rob Schneider's in the crowd

You just don't want to run into him By the coffee machine. Mark, how you doing over there? You good? Look, I feel good, bro. What are you doing this Saturday? It's my weekend with Donnie. Well, he's perfectly welcome to wait outside if you want to come interrupt Fifty Shades Darker.

Where are you doing it? In San Francisco at the Castro Theater. Historic theater. Do you want to know what's funny? For a second, I thought to myself, I'll check with Donnie. Like he has a fucking say, dude. That's what I mean.

Just have him wait outside. No, I think he's working as an usher at that theater that night, so it'll be fine. No, you know what I'll do? I'll take her down that street where the Bushman fucking scares people and I'll leave him there.

And I'll come over and do your show. But let me make sure, because if he has a t-ball game, we're fucking booked. But I'll try to make it for sure. Where's this bushman you speak of? Over there by the fucking wharf. There's like a dude who hides behind a bush and just scares people into heart attacks and everybody's like, ha ha ha, someone died.

I want to see that. Oh, dude, happens on the reg, bro. All right. Yeah, good part. I'll let you know. Thank you. You ready for my answer? Yes. Despicable me.

Oh. Yeah. All right. Someone says, which one? But you just said Despicable Me, and there's no reason to say part one, because that was what it was called. It was just straight up Despicable Me.

Coming in at number three, Despicable Me 1. That's good for one point for Mark. Number two, Bruce Almighty. Oh, I know! Both of them, gosh.

It kind of stood to reason if it was in Jim Carrey's top three. That's where they introduced the Steve Carell Weatherman character who went on to Evan Almighty. Yes, of course. And then number one for Steve Carell, these fucking

animated things are just crazy popular. Number one is Despicable Me 2. Despicable Me 2 is Steve Carell's number one movie. Alright, so let's look at the scores.

Rachel has nothing. But I'm sure you've got a rich full life. Yes, I do have some things. Yes, you got things. Rachel, you want to feel like a winner? Oh, oh no, what's gonna...

For listener at home, Rachel got a hotel room key Now the feeling isn't gonna come until later But it's already happened She's gonna be so disappointed when she finds out It's my hotel room key. That's not very nice. She was going to be. I'm trying to fucking help you out, bro.

Especially after she's tried it in every door of every hotel that's in that chain. Because it doesn't say specifically what hotel it is. No. Wasting my time. Yep. Dude, she was just like you an hour ago. Give her one. You guys could say you were here

when a star was born. A face in the crowd. And she gets to go first in this final round. It's your chance. If you get the number one movie, Rachel, you will tie with Adam. But if Mark gets it, he'll be straight up in the lead. Let's see what happens.

Speaking of Rachel, the films of Jennifer Aniston. Which one would you like to go with, Rachel? So we're going by these ratings. No, box office. What's her most popular... What movie that Jennifer Aniston was in made the most money? What's your guess? She was in Bruce Almighty.

Oh. Okay. Mark. Or wait, does Mark go last this time? Yeah. Sure. I went last last time. Does it matter?

Oh, yeah. No, you shouldn't go last this time then you should go next because we rotate the order on this every time I see this girl like at the grocery store she's just crying what movie

did they pay her to cry in The Breakup her to cry in. The breakup. Can some people have your back on that one? Ah, crap. Well, Adam. Yeah, Rachel figured out the pattern before I did. Just say Bruce Almighty and nothing else

the entire time. So that's gone. I'm trying to think if she was in an animated movie because those seem to do well, but I can't think of that, so I'm going to go Horrible Bosses. She was a voice in Iron Giant. Oh!

Oh, right. But Horrible Bosses is a good guess. That was successful. They made a Horrible Bosses 2. good guess. That was successful. They made a Horrible Bosses 2. No colon. No subtitle. Right? It was just Horrible Bosses 2. Alright, but let's settle this thing right now.

This is exciting. Because coming in at number three for Jennifer Aniston, We're the Millers. Yay! Where she plays a dancer. Is she human or is she

dancer? Coming in at number two. Marley and Me. Come on. Huge ass movie. Marley and Me. Who on! Huge-ass movie, Marley and Me. Who doesn't cry at that movie? She cries in that movie. You're right, that is some bullshit, sir.

But this is what's exciting about the situation right now, Mark. You're not going to believe this, Mark. You've come in third place. Because, number one, Bruce Almighty. No, not in life, that's true. You're doing slightly better than both of these two in real life, but

here tonight, they brought it and they took you down. Let's see who the best normal person is. Top normie is going to be determined by the following. Who went first that last round? You did?

I think so. No, I think it was Rachel. Rachel. Okay, so Rachel goes second this time, so you go first, Adam. And see who can come up with the best one, because you guys are tied at three apiece, so you just have to come up with one of the top ones for an actor

named Morgan Freeman. I knew you were going to say fucking Morgan Freeman. So here's the thing. I know what you've done there. You've set up a pattern. I'm supposed to say one, but I'm going to say

The Dark Knight. Fair enough, fair enough. Rachel? The Lego Movie. Hey, Rachel, I'm going to need that hotel room key back real quick. Coming in at number three, Bruce Almighty. That's right.

You didn't fall for that, did you, Adam? Number two, The Dark Knight Rises. Yeah, Rises. Number one, The Dark Knight. Adam Burke is our winner Well done Thank you Mark Where is

The person you were Playing for? She's all the way at the back Alright come on down and get your prizes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Quite a whistler over there. Also, there's a big can of nuts on the stage.

Yeah! Mark Wahlberg! It's okay, it happens. It's a tribute to the late, great Jerry Lewis, I guess. I've replaced him in the Nadia Professor. It's a tribute to the late, great Jerry Lewis, I guess. I've replaced him in the Nadia Professor. Did you think of that before he died? And then just, you didn't even know he died.

When you showed up with this tonight, people told you, holy shit, that's nuts, he's dead. That's nuts and he's dead. It's amazing and horrible at the same time. What a tragic coincidence. Thank you for those, Nadia. And can you pass your name tag down here to Rachel? Or actually, Adam's going to help out with that. Thank you, sir.

Yeah, and you've got to take the candy off of there for her. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just need it for the shithead on the back. Don't worry. You can't rip the shithead part, dude. Oh, there's two years of shitheads on here. Oh.

Oh, here's the other candy off the other one. This is really entertaining. Probably the highlight of the show for most. But why are they both crossed out, both of the shitheads on here? I guess they're older. Yeah, but why isn't there a current one? That's what I'm looking for right now. I think that's it.

Oh, I see. I get it now. I got this, you guys. Adam Burke, our winner. What have you got to plug? What's coming up for you? I'll be at the Galway Pub here in Chicago, August 31st. Come and see me there.

It's a good pub. Go there anyway. Okay. Rachel, do you got anything to plug? Yeah, sure. Rachel Dent, everybody. Yes. Four out of five doctors recommend Rachel Dent.

Keeps you sparkling clean. Can I get one of my strikes back? Yeah, we'll change one of those to a ball. Rachel, what do you got coming up around the city people can come see you do? Yeah, so if you want to find me on the Instagrams and Facebooks, it's Fiona Firebatch

is my burlesque name. Fiona Firebatch? Firebatch, fire with a Y. Oh, I know, guys. Okay. Of course. I'll be doing a Halloween show mid-October. Murder theme. TBA.

To be determined. Yeah, there's not too much you'd want to tell people about the murder theme. It's more better to be surprised. Yeah, no, that's what it's all about. But thank you for coming up here and being awesome tonight. Thank you for choosing me!

Thank you guys! This has been really awesome. Dream come true. It's, you know, it's a little thing we're messing around with because it's another level of excitement for the audience to get the opportunity to actually participate. And, of course, at all of my stand-up shows, if you bring a name tag,

we always drag people up on stage for Last Man Stanton. But I think you held up pretty good and did a good job, so thank you, Rachel. How can I? Way to go, girl. Thanks! Who wants a maple bar? Oh, yeah! Whoa, that was some real 2001 Space Odyssey shit right there.

That was a good one. Like a monkey throwing a bone. That was like the beginning of Cliffhanger. It's like, I got you, donut. Mark Wahlberg, what have you got to plug? Everything, bro. Wahlbergers is running right now on A&E. We just had Joey Fatone I know

on this episode so when this drops people can check that out him and Donnie just talking about what used to be for a half hour is pretty fucking fun

then we got Daddy's Home 2 with me and Will Ferrell coming up in November and then a movie after that I got coming out

it's called All the Money in the World. People should check that out. And later on, a couple years, guys, Six Million Dollar Man. Fucking night, dude. So we just started pre-production on that. Yeah, so it'll be out in a while. Yeah, it'll be fucking good. Are you going to have the same bionics as Steve Austin

on the TV show? We're working it out a little bit, because I see him more as an eight million dollar man, but that's just me. Probably like a better brain, maybe? Yeah, a little bit. Just everything's souped up. Because in the show, he had one good eye

and one good arm and one good leg? Yeah, and I have double of all that shit. No, I meant that we're bionic. You're saying all your shit's going to be bionic? Oh, I keep telling him,

like, why can't we get Michael Bay on this? So we'll see what happens. What about a bionic? Oh, I just keep telling him, like, why can't we get Michael Bay on this? So we'll see what happens. What about a bionic dick, maybe? I think he went with the things he needed. That's a good point. Maybe his dick was tore off in the accident. Right.

Mine's a goddamn cane. Well, thank you so much for being here. It's always great to have you. Love you, Chicago. Good time. Love this fucking city. Love you, Chicago. I hope to see you in San Francisco on Saturday.

I hope to see people at Doug Lowe's Movies in Cleveland on September 2nd. Lots more dates coming up. You know where to go. One more time for all of my guests, Adam Burke, Rachel Dent, and Mark Wahlberg. And as always Studio execs refusing to cast Mark Wahlberg in every major Motion picture are a shithead And this is why this threw me off,

because it starts off just talking straight talk. To be honest, these last two years are a shithead. Thank you. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie He's a roadie doing prowess Pains in cocky There's no room in his heart for you Because Doug loves movies