Doug Loves Movies - "Mark Wahlberg," Chad Daniels and Apples guest

Episode Date: May 15, 2017

Live from Comedy Works in Denver, Doug welcomes "Mark Wahlberg," Chad Daniels and David "Apples" Appleton to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Thank you. It was never my intention to create a nerd movie trivia show that would be ruined by stoners. Nice. Ruined by stoners. Hi. Hey, hey, hey, everybody.

My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Hot Loss Movies. It's like we're in a bomb shelter. And there's yelling. It's just like, oh No, we're in a bomb shelter I didn't realize It would be so noisy down here I just wanted to quietly hide

Until the apocalypse is finished That's right, you guys It's Mother's Day. And we are back for what I dare to guess is the fourth annual Mother's Day Douglas Movies at Comedy Works in downtown Denver. Yeah!

Yeah! Now I understand why T.J. Miller is such a loud individual. Yeah! Deadpool, yeah! Silicon, I can't even do it. Silicon Valley, yeah. I hope he comes back and ruins this show again someday. Did I say Colorado? Probably not.

There are other Denvers in the world, you guys. Don't get cocky. It's Sunday, May 14th, 2017. And I want to see the mother of all name tags. I saw you all reaching for them as soon as I started to... Oh, my goodness. Always so many good ones here. There's Wilson the volleyball,

but with my face in the bloody hand on the volleyball. Your last name is Wilson? What? Oh, your name's Carrie Away instead of Castaway. Okay. Would have been perfect if your name was Wilson.

I assumed your first name wasn't Wilson. Instead of Goodfellas, we got Goodfarras. Yeah, with me. That'd be a good movie. You and me and Jeff Tate as the good Ferris

I like it Guard Dougs of the Galaxy Oh, I found my favorite Did you change any of the faces? No My name's Doug It's hard enough to write Doug on something But next time, if you're just going to change My name's Doug. It's hard enough to write Doug on something.

But next time, if you're just going to change the letters on the sign, you should go for Hotel for Dougs. Or Must Love Dougs. Ross to Jeff's in the front row with kind of a Star Wars thing going on. What poster is that originally? Rasta Jeff Strikes Back. Rasta Jeff Strikes Back.

Fair enough. Robocop. I like it, Rob. Good job, Rob. Hairspray what? Hairspraychel. I like the sound of that. Hairspray what? Hairspraychel I like the sound of that Hairspraychel It's a porn waiting to happen

And right here in front of my face Blocking other Robo Rob We've got Robo Cop And Robo Rob One of yours is better I won't say which Robo Rob. We've got Robo Cop and Robo Rob. One of yours is better. I won't say which.

But then right in front of my face this whole time, let me hold part of it for everybody. Love and other dogs. So whoever's behind him, I'm sorry. That's a good name tag and a big name tag. Jay of the Dead, I like. Why? There's a sign that goes with it. He drew this in his seat waiting for the show.

What is he? He can't speak for himself? Jay and Christy make a huge mistake and leave their awesome name tags in Kansas City. Well, but it turned into a quickie art project for the two of you. I feel like I'm hosting a reality show, and you just did the quick draw challenge, and you did a good job. Holy shit, that Passion of the Christ poster

with my face on there. Could you turn around and show that to everybody? Yikes! And your last name is Gilchrist? Okay, so good for you. And your last name is Gilchrist? Okay, so good for you.

Nice job, everybody. Yeah. I make the very beginning of the show all about you because I'm about to make it all about me. Doug plugs. Tomorrow night. Monday. May 15th. Douglas Movies is back at Meltdown Comics in Los Angeles.

Wednesday, May 24th. We're going to be over at the Improv in Houston, Texas. LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio on... What the fuck? Oh, Saturday, August 27th. No, May 27th. August looks like May the way I write it.

I thought it was coming up sooner than that. Yeah, May 27th at 420. And Douglas Movies is back in New York City on Monday, June 26th at the Gramercy Theater for deets and many other dates, go to douglosmovies.com. That's douglosmovies.com!

Who here is going to the Benson movie interruption of Mother's Day tonight in Littleton? Very polite hand raise in the front row. That was adorable. So we're going to watch Mother's Day, which I thought was a really funny idea

on Mother's Day last year because it was out Mother's Day weekend last year. And the great director and actor and funny man, Gary Marshall, passed away in the time in between. But I thought, well, he's not going to be

offended. He's dead. So we're going on with it. I've interrupted all of his holiday movies, Valentine's Day, New Year's Eve, Halloween. I've done them all. So, finally getting in Mother's Day,

and of course it is Mother's Day, so it's too perfect. And for some reason, the Alamo Drafthouse lists the movie as being 138 minutes long, and that is not right. And I feel like that's making people not want to come, because I would not...

I would not sit through a 138-minute rom-com Cloud Atlas was close enough. So, it's two hours. It's two hours long. But it's tonight at 8 o'clock over in Littleton. There's a brand new Alamo Drafts house in Denver that I might take advantage of at some point. That sounded dirty,

like I'm going to finger the movie theater. But tonight we're in Littleton. Yeah, that should be an expression for a beer or something. Tonight we're in Littleton. Let's drink up. So there's a few seats available for that, is all I'm trying to say. And a more important question,

by applause or the polite raising of hands, how many mothers are with us today here at Doug Loves Movies? I swear a woman with a green... There you are. The man behind you is wearing a similar color and it looked like he raised his hand just a bearded bald man

raising his hand I am a mother let's hear it for the mothers yeah seriously Let's hear it for the mothers. Yeah, seriously. I don't care what you think of your mother. You're here.

But that's why I can always count on Denver to be the one city where the mothers will either come to the show or their offspring will say, fuck them. It's really a win-win for me. Denver's got a lot of cool moms and a lot of regular moms. And a lot of people who moved here are away from their moms. Because their moms don't need to move to a state where marijuana is legal. But they fucking should.

Everybody should. Or wait, is Denver overpopulated? Don't come here. Check out Fort Collins. All right, so I brought a very special... No, this is just regular shit. Regular prize bank stuff, but I had to fly here with it, so that's exciting. Well, not all of it.

First up, from my hotel room, a copy of Denver Hotel Magazine. This particular issue features the band One Republic. So I signed the magazine for the winner, and I wrote, for which I stand. Someone mailed me this, and it's so heavy, I couldn't even start to read it. Because the whole time I'm reading it,

I'll be like, this is heavy. Seriously, hold this for a second. It's fucking heavy. It's not as heavy as your name tag, but... Marijuana horticulture fundamentals. Yeah, way to make it sound boring. Good job. That'll keep your parents' nose out of it.

I was in Kentucky recently, and someone was nice enough to give me a shirt that won't fit me and a flyer to go with it about the hemp highway of Kentucky. Right? Who knew? And the shirt says Kentucky hemp on it. So I thought this was a good place to give it away because you could walk down the street with it on

and can't get in trouble. You know, in a lot of places now, a shirt that says Kentucky Hemp on it, that's like in Kentucky, for instance. It's probably an excuse for the cops to stop you. A copy of my most recent album. I'm going to have a new album out soon. I'm very excited about that.

What the fuck is this supposed to be? What do you think that is? It's like a rag? Thanks, dude. This is like a $15 iTunes gift card. Did it sound like I said 50? 15. I wonder if there's some rapper out there that gets really mad when the crowd is upset

when he walks down the stage because he's 15 cent. Sounded like Fitty. Fitty Cent is here. Could go either way. And then also, holy shit pipes pipes pipes all three sizes of the peacemaker Christmas pipe

the bong the kazoo and the tiny kazoo yeah for all of you you can start making your Christmas plans now. Two of these have only been used once.

Plus all the stuff brought here today by my guests. Please give a big warm welcome to David Apples Appleton, Chad Daniels, and Mark Otter Wahlberg. Thank you. I'm the same way.

Whenever I meet someone... Somebody's dick just hit the floor. Whenever I meet someone named Apples, I get that excited. That's right. Let's meet the guests individually starting with a gentleman who likes to be, his last name is

Appleton, so it makes sense, but he wants to just go by as all the greats in show business do, you really get to the top quicker if you just pick one name. Sting. Trump. Let's hear it everybody for Apples Thank you

Thank you very much I am Apples Yes it's a nickname, no I didn't get it in prison Alright so you're a stand-up comic. You don't have to do your act right now. Thank you. Thanks. Just assume that. We don't have to do all the apples jokes. I'm sure there will be plenty of apples

jokes as we go along throughout the proceedings. What are you rooting around in your bag for? I brought many treasures. Right, but I'll get to that part in a second. Just settle down, apples. So excited. See, here's something I'm excited to part in a second. Just settle down, Apples. So excited. See, here's something I'm excited to be able to say. Simmer down, Apples.

Your name on Twitter is ApplesForLife, if people want to look you up. And the four, of course, is the number four. And, uh, yeah. ApplesForLife. And you recently moved here from is the number four. And, uh... Yeah, apples for life. Yeah. And you recently moved here

from, so you're part of the problem. Yes. People that live here don't like you, but the listeners don't care. And you are a transplant from, I met you in Charleston. Charleston, yes.

Yes, that's where we met. I call Charleston home. I'm new to Denver. I love Denver. Thank you, Denver. You're awesome. I drive a Honda Element, so I blend in. I got

a beard. And you got the shirt for it. I got the shirt. Clearly made of hemp. Seriously? Yeah. From Walmart. And, uh, really?

Yeah. Because it's supposed to, it's not supposed to be marijuana. It's just supposed to be leaves. No, but you know what? It, it, it kind of, it blends the line.

If you're on marijuana, you look and you go, is that a marijuana leaf? He's all right. No, I, if I wasn't on marijuana, I'd and you go, is that a marijuana leaf? He's alright. No, I... If I wasn't on marijuana, I'd still say that. Well... Because it's not

a marijuana leaf, but you do seem alright. Well, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being here. I am so happy. We're going to get back to you about your bag in a second. Oh, treasures. But first, we have to say hi to a gentleman who's been on Douglas Movies in a second. Oh, treasures. But first we have to say hi to a gentleman

who's been on Douglas Movies in a few spots but not here in Denver. It's Chad Daniels, everybody. Hello, everyone. Thanks for coming out for this, dude.

Thanks for having me, bro. I like everything that's happening with your face and head hair right now. Thank you very much. Right? It's really working out

good for you, I think. Well, I think that's real nice of you. Yeah. Hunt for Red October-y, dude. Oh, right? You're totally Sean Connery in Hunt for Red October.

Okay. All right. Hey, listen, if I'm going to throw you off with movie references, maybe this isn't the place for you. We've done shows with you in Minneapolis

and San Francisco, right? Columbus. Columbus. You had to compete against Bert Kreischer there. Yeah, so that was tough. That was tough competition. But which one was the most recent one we did? I think Columbus.

Columbus was most recent. It took me a while to wash Bird off. And did you... You just smell like a Russian mob. Russian mob. Yeah, it's a fireball. After you have an encounter with... Did you win on that one?

Probably not. Okay. That's your win-loss record? Probably never? I think I'm two and one. Oh, okay. So the other ones you won, but you lost to Burt?

No, I lost to... I can't remember. There's someone else on there, but I lost to them. Oh, right. Yeah, it was Sean Connery movies. Our callback's not gonna work tonight Okay, just checking Some of you look fucking dumbfounded And I was like

It was 15 seconds ago, Dory Dial it in. Jesus Christ. I lasted seven seconds of not yelling at your crowd. That's great. It's funny that people listening need to know, I feel, that when they did finally start laughing is because you shook your head no.

Right, I did. That's what they're laughing at. Alright, so it's just been building up. People are excited. It's Mark Wahlberg! How you guys doing?

You doing good? Fucking A you are. What's up, temper? What's going on, dog? So there's a new Transformers coming out. Fuck yeah, June 21st. Last night with a K. That's what I would say whenever somebody says,

when did that happen? I'm gonna go, last night with a K. Fuckin' A. Have you seen King Arthur with a K? No, is that that fucking Guy Ritchie movie with the sad kid from Sons of Motorcycles or whatever?

Sons of Motorcycles? I don't know. What are they on, fucking bikes? Yeah, I think you're talking about Charlie Hunnam. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. I like that guy, but I don't know about that King Arthur movie. Dude, I don't fucking know about any of that.

So my question about the new Transformers movie is, what happened to your daughter from the last movie? Why would they switch out a new romantic interest for you? for you. And yes, that was a trick question. And when I told them, I go, here's the deal.

I want this to mirror my real fucking life, okay? So if you're gonna put a daughter in this, you gotta give her a fucking nanny because I can't deal with this shit all the fucking time.

And they're like, that's another actress. I'm like, then don't fucking give me one at all. And then they just gave the fucking time. And they were like, that's another actress. I'm like, then don't fucking give me one at all. And then they just gave me another girl, and I was like, do you want to watch me save the world? And that actress was like, yeah. I'm like, you're in the fucking movie. All makes sense to me now.

Yeah. Fucking lucky I was in town, dude. I'm glad to do this fucking show with you. Yeah, why are you in Denver? Shooting a documentary. Yeah, I was in town, dude. I'm glad to do this fucking show with you. Yeah, why are you in Denver?

Shooting a documentary. I guess I have to ask a follow-up question. What's the documentary about? It's called Blonde Ambition. And it chronicles the story of John Elway transforming into Ric Flair. of John Elway transforming into Ric Flair. He's very close. He's on stage six of seven right now. I don't know how Mark Wahlberg does it.

He's in an A&T&T commercial. Is that not the best fucking commercial you've ever seen? You know, you wear a lot of different outfits in it. Fucking A, dude. I talk, so I wear a white t-shirt. Anything's possible. Yeah. James Marsden is in it.

I know. I'm like, shoot him with another fucking arrow. Yeah, you really seem to enjoy that. Yeah. He was like, do I have to? I'm like, do you not want to do it? And I looked at him real fucking hard. He was like, whatever you say, Mark.

And I was like, can you please go tell Donnie to fucking say that? I was just going to say, I don't know where you find the time to come up with local references every show we do together. You're a really gifted entertainer. You know what? You're welcome. That's all I do it for is the you're welcomes. Apples, what'd you bring for the bag? Oh, buddy.

I was so waiting for you to ask that. You brought your own bag, which I noted as soon as you came in that that was a lot. My own bag, but there's a bag within a bag. It's like a Russian doll of bags. Okay. I'm new to Denver, but I meant to... What was wrong with just the inner bag? Well, I actually...

Is it too heavy? No, I carried a little something to drink along the way and I had that in here For the listener at home we have a real Mary Poppins situation Seriously Alright I didn't mean to dig into your whole sad

situation I really thought this out guys I didn't He really thought this out, guys. I didn't. He really thought this out. Since my name's Apples, I met some friends at 710 Pipes and they gave me a banana pipe. It's still in bubble wrap, so no one

can really confirm that it's a banana wrap. It's fresh. It's ready to be ridden home. It's very banana-y. Did you start that with, since my name is Apples, I brought a banana pipe? I'm going to be honest. I was going to let that go. I'm going on a trip and I'm bringing a cat.

How about that shit? I just wanted to give them a good experience. They gave me one of these big deals. Since my name is Chad, I brought something from Nigeria. Exactly. I brought something from Nigeria. Exactly. I brought something from a Florida election. Chad joke.

Here's a big doobie deal. Let's keep it moving. They got one of these ADD spinners. Are those bad? Good? I don't know. I've never seen one. They're like, here's all the ruckus. I was like, put it in the bag. Now, some things that I personally picked out, okay?

Let's go to this first. The other things were not personal for the people following along. Those were very impersonal. These, I brought a VHS copy of Stroker Ace. Oh, nice. For Reynolds. Oh, nice. Lonnie Anderson's first movie. I brought a VHS copy of Stroker Ace Oh nice Lonnie Anderson's first movie Now that's okay But I also found a VHS copy

Of Iron Eagle 2 Okay Spoiler alert Doug dies in like the first 15 minutes of that one Sorry Doug Not you Doug The Doug in the movie I got some DVDs here.

The 2000 smash hit, Bring It On. I do. I like that one a lot. That's, oh, I tell you what, that Gabrielle Union. My lord. Yeah, she brung it. Yeah. And they didn't have the actual

Transformers movie since... I'm a huge Transformers fan. I have this little deal here. You're welcome. So I've had that for a long time since before... For the listeners, he has Optimus Prime on his dick. It's... He transforms.

It goes towards a little truck. Goes to a robot. It's more of a Decepticon. So you can actually hear the sexual assault. Whoa. Oh. No, no, no. So you can actually hear the sexual assault. Whoa.

Oh. No, no, no. I'm married. I'm all good. Sorry, ladies. No, we could do this all day. It's more than meets the thigh. That's right.

So if there's any true Transformers fans here, and you remember before Michael Bay started fucking up your world, I brought Beast Wars. Which, if you've never seen it, the best part of this is Megatron, okay? Because every time, he's like, okay, he's a dinosaur. And he goes, all he says is yes. But he says it like, yes, Optimus Primal. Yes.

Wait. In the first example, he said more words than yes. You said he only says yes. Okay. And then you went, yes, Optimus Primal. But yes is his main deal. Yes is his main thing.

That's his go-to. Okay. And there's some hacky sacks in here, too. So anyway. And it's wrapped in a Charleston Bridge Run backpack that goes with you. Yeah, it's really double bagged. It's double bagged. Pass it over here.

I know you want to keep some of that stuff. No, I don't double-bagged. It's double-bagged. Pass it over here. I know you want to keep some of that stuff. No, I don't. I don't want any of it. Get it away from you. So today's winner's going home double-bagging it. Double-bagged. Triple-bagging it. Now that I think about it.

Chad, what do you got for the prize bag? You brought a bag! Let me start by saying I should have gone first Because It was really pales in comparison Well this is probably better than going last Our bags will work together Like Transformers

The newest HGTV magazine It's only been Thumbed through twice Once by me and once by a lady next to me coming to Denver for a hip surgery later this week. We all wish her luck. I agree. I have a packet of pink salmon.

Oh, a packet of pink salmon. I was going to try to eat that. Don't they normally call those fleshlights? Smells of uncooked fish. Oh, packet, not pocket. Yes, correct. And then I had a new CD come out February 3rd and it's been on Billboard

Top 10 for 14 weeks and it's in there. That's it. 83 awesome colors inside. Oh, yeah, Apples is reading the cover of the HGTV magazine. Dude, I'm not gonna lie,

I fucking love HGTV. If I could, if I could, you know what? I would definitely work out with Drew and Adam Scott. Just all day long, just fucking flipping fucking houses

with our hands. But it would be fun if Chad's CD said 83 awesome colors inside on the front, and it would especially be cool if it said it on the packet of pink salmon. 83 awesome colors will go into you and back

out of you. Why, Chad? Why? Because you never know when you're going to get hungry when you're traveling. Is this regional or can you get a packet of pink salmon like this anywhere? I think anywhere. Anywhere. They just got to a packet of pink salmon like this anywhere? I think anywhere.

Anywhere. They just got to go to the pink salmon section of the freezer case. No, it's right by the tuna. It's out by the tuna. They don't even keep it cold? No. That will last you a long time. I think it's pretty cool you guys do your own grocery shopping.

They sell you on eating it out of a packet by saying, fresh taste, no drain. What? I like it's HGTV magazine. It's like... Really? We're going to do that now? Sorry. It's TV... I think we already had a lot of big laughs

off of the name of the magazine. By the way, four of the 83 colors are black, red, brown, white, field of vibrations. That's real. Why is everyone whoing? Two things. First off,

you owe me $1,357. Secondly, I'm going gonna give you one. How about them apples? I'm starstruck. He actually met Optimus Prime. For the listener at home, that's true. Yeah, when we say for the listener at home, it's usually for visual things. You could have just said, that's true.

It was just for them. We're having so much fun here. I want to make sure we get all the games in, but I also have an important question to ask each of you. It's the same question for all three of you. Is it okay if we start with you, Apples? Sure. When was the last time you smoked weed?

Earlier today. Okay, so I'm going to come to you third then. Mark? What was the last movie you saw? I saw Guardians of the Galaxy on Tuesday night. Volume 2. Very good. Full title. Full title. Volume 2.

It was pretty fucking good, dude. Jack Burton crushed that shit. That, of course, is for the listeners. That's Kurt Russell. Jack Burton to me. You call him whatever the fuck you want. He said he went a lot of places in that movie So I was like fuck it he probably went to China Got in some big fucking trouble

Who knows Okay I'm Donald Trump And I just saw a Kurt Russell movie And Mark asked me What Kurt Russell movie I saw Dude what Kurt Russell movie I saw. Dude, what Kurt... Hold on. Look Good, Feel Good.

Look Good, Feel Good. You look good. You feel good. What's up, Doc? I'm Donald Trump in this bit. What Kurt Russell movie did you just see? Wait, what's happening?

I could have swore you said to me... You have to call me Donald. I'm Donald Trump. Oh, okay. Here we go. Or don't bring names into it, but when you called me Doug, that threw me off. Okay, okay. but when you called me Doug, that threw me off. Okay, okay.

What's up, Worst Donny? I just want to say the answer to the question, not a whole conversation. Okay, here we go. I can only do the impression not a whole conversation. Okay, here we go. I can only do the impression for one couple words. Okay, here we go. Just ask Donald Trump what movie he saw. What movie did you see? Big Trouble in Little China.

Fucking A, too. I just want to say China. China. No, no, no, no. It's China. China. No, I'm sure that's how he says vagina. This is China.

China. China. There's a hint of sadness now in the way you say it. China. It sounded like he was asking the ex-female wrestler to come back to bed. China.

Come on back. Hey, you guys. He went a long way to get there. You should at least give him some gas money. Did you ever answer the... Oh, yeah, you answered the question. Did you want my prize? Chad... Oh, yeah.

Sorry. It's your show, dude. I'll do it whenever the fuck you want. Alright, let's find out about your prize? Chad. Oh, yeah, sorry. It's your show, dude. I'll do it whenever the fuck you want. All right, let's find out about your prize after the show.

You got it. No, what did you bring? I brought two things. Oh. After everything I was in, best movie of the year. Monster Trucks. And then,

for people who are like me and like to leave it in, I brought a little kid's shirt. Wow. A little kid's shirt that says Monster Trucks on it. For the listeners at home, he doesn't like to leave it in little kids. It's just a shirt. Thank you, Chad.

You're welcome, Mark Wahlberg. It just makes you wonder which came with the other one with purchase. Did he buy the shirt and get the DVD or the other way around? Neither. They sent it to my house and I had extra ones.

But I bet if you had to pick... Oh, fuck. Probably you buy the shirt and they trick you into taking the movie. Well, now I can proudly say that there's two rags in the bag. Well, now I can proudly say that there's two rags in the bag. Someone's going to be a car-washing fool after winning.

Winning today. Did Chad answer the question? No. Please do. The founder? The Michael J. Keaton The Michael J. Keaton. Michael J. Keaton. Yes.

That was a solid fucking mashup right there, dude. Hold still, Beetlejuice. So. Oh, Doug, you nasty. Did you like the founder? I did, but I thought that guy's a real prick. Who, Ray Kroc? The guy that stole McDonald's, yeah yeah I thought he was a real asshole You don't like him

Well no but then at the end he's dead That's like the happy ending Is he dies Yeah What do you think Michael Keaton saw in the role Did he like playing an unlikable Or basically a bad person Yeah I mean I guess there's probably a little goodness

In him but he just got to steal The biggest thing ever unlikable or basically a bad person? Yeah, I mean, I guess there's probably a little goodness in him, but he just got to steal the biggest thing ever. So he probably enjoyed that quite a bit. Is that like a huge plot point in the movie, him stealing it? Yes, it's the whole movie. To our listeners at home, it's been spoiled. So he's not really the founder.

It's one of those sneaky titles. Yeah, right. Yeah right You find out halfway through I mean, anybody could know the story of Ray Kroc I just always known of him as the owner Starter-upper of McDonald's Yeah, me too You heard it I got your back, hold on

Yeah, starter-upper Well, you don't know what I mean when I say that? I got your back. Hold on. Yeah. Starter Upper. Well, you don't know what I mean when I say that? So, yeah, he's the founder. They ran it by focus groups, and as a title, the Starter Upper didn't go anywhere. So they went with the founder, and as a result, the movie floundered because nobody knew what it was about or cared like i don't think people care that he's a bad

person because mcdonald's yeah it doesn't seem like it you know i mean it's just like the the zuckerberg zuckerberg came off pretty bad in social network zuckerbug he came off pretty bad in Social Network, but, you know, it doesn't seem to hurt his life at all. He's still rich and has become, seems to be a better person. At least publicly. Somebody over there is like, mm.

Mm. But anyway, I don't, I forgot what we were talking about. I just want a Big Mac. That's all I... That's all I know. Isn't there a chance, like, couldn't McDonald's have sued over it? Or they don't care?

It makes the founder look like a bad guy. Do you want me to tell you the whole thing? Well, I mean, we should already all know the story. It's like, I saw a Vietnam film. Oh, really? What happens? Did anybody win? He just goes out and he sees this McDonald's and how well it's run,

and then he talks these guys into letting him franchise it into the Midwest. So it was his idea. No, no. He had a restaurant that he stole. I saw some people doing movie trivia. I said, can I franchise that? Now it's Doug Lowe's movies.

That makes me a bad guy? I'm waiting for you to die at the end. Oh, fuck off. He's not even a mother. Save your shit. Listen to that fake shit. It's be mean to everyone. It's not Mother's Day, you guys.

Get with the program. When's the last movie you saw, Apples? I'm sorry, we're out of time. It's be mean to everyone who's not a... You're following. I was going to say Guardians 2, but... You could say that also.

But I'm going to go to one before that, which was Fist Fight with Charlie Day and Ice Cream. Oh, I thought... I mixed it up with Cat Fight. Go ahead, talk about, talk about Fist Fight all you want. Fist Fight with Charlie Day and Ice Cube.

That's the last, you saw it on home version or something? No, I went to like the budget theater. Oh. Like the $3 theater. Okay, so second run. Yeah, second run. So that's why you saw it recently.

Yeah. And was it, did it deserve to not do well I don't think it did terribly well at the box office honestly

I love both those guys I enjoyed it I felt it was a little it was a little too much Charlie Day Charlie Day you know

he was like I don't know guys I got one you know you know what you know what I've had enough of it already right now.

Like, I feel there's a little more range to Charlie than that, but it was good, and there was a little too much ice cube, ice cubing. Just being like, yeah, I'll punch you. And like, when he said you got knocked the fuck out. I'm gonna say it, dude. That was a fucking perfect ice cube. I love both those guys.

However, the supporting cast, I feel Tracy Morgan, the other chick in there, it was awesome. Oh, that other chick's good. The other chick. I forget her name. Jillian Bell.

Yes. She is good. I haven't seen the movie, though. But she's worth seeing. Anything she's in is worth seeing just for her. She's always... She elevates the material, as people like

to say. Kicks it up a notch. Another way of saying it. But there's no reason to go round and round. It's like apples and oranges. Right? Like, apples seems to work, but if somebody said,

my nickname is oranges, you'd say, why not just one orange? But in the case of apples, I like it. Okay. Everyone sees it as a challenge. They do?

Yeah. I'm like, hey, I'm apples. And they go, ooh, I'm peaches. I'm bananas. Oh, my God. So you just find out immediately that people fucking suck. I'm gonna change my name to something stupid to see what happens.

Damn. I hope someday you get to meet Gwyneth Paltrow and the guy from that band's kid. First off, that's not my kid. Because his name is Apple. Yeah. And you could be like, hey, Apples is Apple. I'm Apple.

You're Apples. And then that'd probably be the end of it. Security would probably whisk you away. Yeah. After that, they'd go,

how'd he get over the fence? Very bad. Fists. Ow, ow, ow. Let's play some games, Apples. Woo! That's right. I'm not even going to say it right. That's how special today is.

People brought name tags. Boy, did they ever. I'm going to make a video of the name tags. But gentlemen, go pick the name tag of who you'd like to play for. We'll be right back today's episode is brought to you in part by our friends over at loot crate you guys already know the deal it is the best surprise you know is coming if you haven't already go sign up and get a box of fun stuff shipped to your door each month every month features a different theme with new exclusive items.

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Apples, this is his first time walking around a comedy works I guess. You tripped there and you almost fell and I was just worried we were all going to just see a big pile of applesauce. Then you realized he's quite graceful for his size. I didn't think that.

I thought, look at that Claude tripping over those stairs that he just walked the other way on moments ago. Then he did like a move to let everyone know he was okay. Then he almost kicked over his stool Yeah

And by that I mean the shit that he left on the stage Who you playing for? Barry and the Bensons Yeah show the Show the people It's beautiful Here let me see it I'm just gonna put it like this so that I can remember Barry's name

if I need to reference it again at any point. What do you mean, aw? That's where I could see it. Chad, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Farrah. Yes, I talked about this one at the beginning. Good Farrahs. Unfortunately, you know, Jeff Tate isn't here today

because I guess he didn't hear about his passing Had to bring it up somehow Mark, who are you playing for? Wait, hold on one fucking second What'd you say about Jeff? He's on this poster Oh, okay, good The Lizard of Oz

Oh, okay, good. The Lizard of Oz. Why did you pick that? I love any movie where people travel a really far way to pick a fight. Put them up, put them up, put them up. What? But are you sure you didn't go a long way to find the smallest, simplest name tag you could find?

You know what? I'd like to say something clever, which I'm really good at, but it just comes back to picking a fight. All right. And who's the person's name on there again? Lizard? That or Oz.

But I'm guessing Lizard. Either way, great parents. Which... Which... Where is he? Is it a he? It's a girl I imagine. It's a girl? Right here. It's a girl? Right here.

It's fucking Ginger. How you doing, girl? Hi, so your name's Elizabeth or Lizzy? Liz. Liz, okay. Lizard. There you go. Now it all makes sense. Great pick, Mark.

As always And as always Comedy Works is a wonderful club That I would like to write a letter to Dear Comedy Works May I have another Tito's and soda? Signed

Some other people Might want some stuff too. Dear Comedy Works. Hi, it's Apples. What's up? I also would like a Tito's and vodka. Or, yeah. Tito's and soda. Go ahead and mix up some Tito's with some vodka.

Bring it up here. And then we're going to have him walk on and off the stage repeatedly. Apples? Say to yourself, look good, feel good. Say it. Look good, feel good. Now try it again.

Look good, feel good. No, make your fucking order. Make your order now. Mine's here already. That's how long it took you to order. Vodka order now. Mine's here already. That's how long it took you to order. Vodka soda, two limes, please. Just one like that. Thank you so much.

Chad? P.S. Jack and Diet, please. Oh. Dear Comedy Wars. Jack and Diet. Why you gotta start the letter over? Just P.S.S. it.

I'm my own letter, bro. First... Why you gotta start the letter over? Just PSS it. I'm my own letter, bro. We need some smooth-ass background music. You can ask any girl. I never go last. You always like to be within the first two or three? Exactly. You always like to be within the first two or three? Exactly. Dear Comedy Works,

first off, you're welcome. Second off, I hope it's okay that I had Donnie hand deliver this to you. If he won't leave, call the cops or call my wife. One of us will come get him. My wife? to you if he won't leave call the cops or call my wife one of us will come get him my wife those last two words were from doug

he says hi i would like it if i could get a margarita but i want it used with a tequila that you don't give to normal people. Sincerely, you know who the fuck it is. You're welcome, Mark. Do you have, like, an assistant that takes out one of your welcomes and the you know who I am, but then also using your name? Did somebody clean that all up for you? So many people do so much, Tom.

Alright, this first game we're going to play is called Purple Rain Man. I almost changed it to Papal Rain Man, which would be like a Pope meets the Rain Man kind of thing. This is a game where I've taken two titles of, you know, hopefully well-known movies, and I've mashed up the cast in these movies. So I'm going to say the third build people from the two movies that the titles mash together. Purple Rain Man style. So like Purple Rain

Man would star Prince and Dustin Hoffman in the lead roles. Chad is... It was great talking to you guys. Chad is... You'll get it. When you hear Mark say the right answer, you'll go,

that's how this game works. You can guess as many times as you want. Just remember, it's two titles mashed together into one title, so they have one common word in them. At least one common word. And audience, no audience guesses, please. Third build are josh charles and tj miller denver yeah No guesses? Second build. Joanna Cassidy and Marina Baccarin.

Oh, shit. Okay, first build, and I'm sure you'll all know what the second title is, so maybe that'll help you think of what the first title leading into it is. Christina Applegate and Ryan Reynolds. Better off Deadpool. Don't tell Mom the babysitter's Deadpool. That's correct! That's quite a quote, huh? Thank you.

Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys so much. That's what a panic attack feels like. Never had one, so it probably isn't, but my whole head almost fucking exploded trying to say that. It really did. I just, like, started...

You really punched through. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it was like you just went in Threw it into the upside down If I could make a TV reference But Netflix doesn't I don't know what Netflix is But Stranger Things isn't a movie

Alright so Chad won that one Squeak that one out Thank you so much Mark was saying something. What did you say, Mark? I said better off Deadpool, but Christina's not in that movie.

No, she's not. She's not John Cusack. All right, this next game... We're just going to keep going, Tom. Oh, I'll keep going. I'm going to give you four. I'll take a lot. And you haven't even done one yet.

What'd you say? You haven't done any yet. I'm giving you four. you haven't even done one yet What'd you say? You haven't done any yet I'm giving you four You haven't done any yet I appreciate it It's your fucking show I'm just here to make it great Is that one? No, I agree.

That makes you normal. Let's play Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. You're going to love this, Chad, because it probably sounds just as crazy as the last game, but I like your instincts. I know this one. Served your will.

You have done this one. I have played this one before. All right. Apples, here's what's going to happen. First, there's going to be a sinister laugh in the audience Next, a young woman's going to be tied to some train tracks And I'm going to save her ass No, in a strange turn of fate

The blue bear guarding the convention center Comes to life and saves her. What? Yep. Then I'll kill that bear. I'll do what Leo couldn't. Which is what I say when I start every movie. Don't you dare say he got a fucking Oscar.

I don't want to hear it. That's exactly what I was going to say. I knew it, dude. It was more of a fucking Lifetime Achievement Award, dude. He used to be in fucking growing pains. He earned it. I'm sure if I would have started when I was six and had that ugly fucking haircut, people would have been like like just give him up.

I wish I could get him on this show. Leo? Yeah. Could you ask him? Yeah I'll make a fucking call for you as soon as we're done here. Just tell him

just tell him Martin directs it he'll show up. Do you see Shutter Island? it. He'll show up. Do you see Shutter Island? Trust me, he'll show up. You think... Apples, you've got me all messed up. You think...

You got some bad apples, bro. I'm going to be honest with you, Doug. I love when we dance like this. You should go... Apple should go see the new Amy Schumer movie and heckle the whole time because then people will say, there's one bad apple ruined the whole snatch.

No. ruin the whole snatch. Here's how this game works. I'll say the name of an actor or actress. And you have to guess what movie you think of theirs might have finished in the top three of their films at the box office domestically after Adjusted for Inflation.

Adjusted for Inflation. By our friends at boxofficemojo.com. Does that make sense? Yes. Okay. Chad gets to go first the first round. We alternate who goes first from round to round, but we'll go Chad and then Apples and then Mark for this round.

And Chad and only Chad, tell me what movie you think is in the top three of Mr. Robin Williams. Kind of felt like you thought he was going to appear or something. It's kind of like

there's suddenly a hologram before you. Who wants to make some wishes? I'm gonna go Mrs. Doubtfire. Mrs. Doubtfire, okay. Controversial choice with the audience. Well, that's the same group

that's been owing everything to. It's the O group. It's stage left. All I'm hearing is, aww. It's, aww. They're all left. All I'm hearing is, aww. It's, aww. Why are you... They're all members of O-Face Anonymous. All right, Apples, what do you got?

What do you name any other Robin Williams movie that's not Mrs. Doubtfire that you think is in his top three? I'm gonna go with Aladdin. Okay. Fair enough. Mark? It's definitely not toys.

Okay, we're going to have to be quicker about narrowing it down. You got it. It's just between two. I'm going to go with that fucking classic, Hook. Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! Rufio! Yep, that's what happens. Dante Brasco walks in here and we just fucking lose our minds.

He's a great dude. Of all the Robin Williams movies, after Adjusting for Inflation, Hook comes in at number seven. All right, I'll go with a different one, then. It's funny. There's one that seems kind of obvious to me that you would pick,

being where you're from and all. I had it between two. What do you want to change it to? Oh, wait, where am I? Fuck. The only one I was going to go to if you said where I'm from, which throws me off to it.

I was going to say Jumanji's. Well, you are from a board game. Don't shut up with that full title shit. You don't want to say Good Will Hunting? I would, but it's not my fault. You're welcome, two dozen people. All right,

coming in at number three, Night at the Museum. Yeah. Yeah, he plays Roosevelt. Coming in at number two, Aladdin. So Apples is on the board with two points. And number one, of course, is Mrs. Doubtfire.

Thank you. I lost a lot of people stage left. I'm grumpy about that shit, but don't yell no at me. I got two kids. I left them at home. I don't need no at me. I've got two kids. I left them at home. I don't need that right now.

Just nice to have a little quiet when I'm thinking. Chad, can I tell you with the fight you're guaranteed to have with a few people after the show, when it gets up to 10, I will join in and dominate that shit. I got your back, back dude Thank you very much

Fuckin' A bro I love a good Ten on two fight Denver needs a good There was a big fight On the streets After a weed comedian Did a show

Story We really Really need to stir it up A little bit Things have been going too good. I don't think we're going to have to fight anybody, because if you're oohing on Doug Loves Movies, you're probably going to be busy getting water for your fake

service animal. Wow. That joke divided and unified this audience. Fucking great, though. Your fake service animal. I know there are real ones, but goddamn, there are fake ones. I have a service cat.

It helps me with my white entitlement. I have a service brother. All right, so... Apples gets to go first this round, and then Mark, and then Chad. So this is your chance to make your mark, Apples. This is the chance to put some apples on the board, Mark.

Apples, give me a movie that was a big box office hit for Pierce Brosnan. I'm going to have to say GoldenEye. Okay. He's going GoldenEye, Mark. What do you think? Can I do this?

I think you can. Okay. Mrs. Doubtfire. Chad, how you feeling? Did they make Dynasty into a movie? No, and what does that have to do with anything? I feel like he would have been in it. He would have been in it if they did?

Yeah. Oh, Chad, mama mia. Yeah. I gotta tell you, I do not feel bad about never having seen that. Ooh, it'd be a lot better for you if you had. I washed it with my service iguana. It really calms me down. Chad, I mean, apples.

I mean, whose turn is it? Chad. Chad's still got to come up with one. I don't know. For Pierce Brosnan? I don't know. You know, he's in a bunch of James Bond movies. No, I know that.

But you don't know the names of them? Sure. Okay. You're in the lead already, so we'll see how this plays out for you. I started going to James Bond movies four years ago when my son turned 13. That's it. So you want some new ones, let's make it happen.

Wait, what? Like you know all the Daniel Craig ones? Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, okay. What are the Daniel Craig ones called? Don't know. Because they got great names. Skyfall.

Sure. Back there. Quantum of Solace. And of course, Casino Royale, because why not just go ahead and use that again? Really great titles. All right, here we go. Coming in at number three for Pierce Brosnan,

Tomorrow Never Dies. That's always a good way to go with James Bond movies, just something about death. You know, like GoldenEye, for instance, which unfortunately came in at number five of the Pierce Brosnan's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Number two, Die Another Day.

Yeah. And number one, Mrs. Doubtfire. Mark is tied for the lead. And Mark gets to go first in this final round. And then we go to Apples, then Chad, right? Sure. Okay. Wait, Chad just had to go third in that one, didn't he?

Yes. So he's second. Sure. Apples is third. Chad's first. What? Interesting. Chad's first What? Interesting He can have it

Mark gets to go first But then Chad So sit tight Get ready to say I've got nothing, Chad The films of Susan Sarandon. Damn. Stepmom is really fucking good.

I will go with Stepmom. Philman Louise, that's mine. Philman Louise. Oh, fuck. Oh, get out of me. Oh, sorry. I know it wasn't my turn, but shit. I just sat here thinking, don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it.

Hey, I'm not good at this. I only know like one for each person. And none for some of them. Apples. I'm going to say Rocky Horror Picture Show. Probably very wrong. So Mark said... Mark said...

I said stepmom. Stepmom. It's fucking good Chad went with Thelma and Louise And Apple said Rocky Horror Picture Show Coming in at number three So one point

Goes to Mark Wahlberg for stepmom I'll take it. Go, Chad. Come in. For the Lister at Home, Chad has not alienated one member of this audience. Number two for Susan Sarandon, The Client.

Oh, The Client, yes. And number one. And we're three points for the win. It's the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah, that movie is still playing. It's still making money. They're still counting it? They're still counting it, yeah.

Dude, fuck it. Yeah. I know for a fact there's a city in Nebraska that plays Shooter every weekend. Wait. Did you say a theater or a shut-in that plays it every weekend? It's a city. They have Shooter afternoon from 2 to 4. I'll get you those numbers.

I'll get the corrections department. I'll take care of it. All right, Apples gets to go first in our final game of the afternoon. And, of course, it's last man, Stanton. He's a professional noisemakers. So I'm going to get from one audience member, pre-selected, a name of an actor or actress,

and then you guys take turns naming movies that they're in. And here's the wrinkle today. Fun new wrinkle. I can be your lifeline once. So if I'm out of titles, you're out of titles. So good luck. And Apples gets to go first and then which way were we going last time so we'll go the other way

we'll go then Mark and then Chad and like I said one time you can come to me where is Jeremy S. Willard alright he's enthusiastic. You wrote to me on Twitter. I believe you're the first person

that got to me. Lots of people wrote to me today. Thank you to everyone. Especially those of you that said things like, I've got a great name and if you don't like it, I'll think of another one. Those people are really getting what I'm looking for.

But I'm ready for whatever you got, Jeremy. Kirsten Dunst. Yeah, that is going to be a rough one. But I get why you picked it Because in Bring It On She plays one of the best mothers She's a great mother Okay, I'm not gonna say

Other titles, but Panel, what do you think? What the fuck, dude? It's like, why don't you do your follow-up, Mekhi Pfeiffer? I'll do it if you want to do it, Doug. I could probably... I can roll a little bit. The O people just announced that Mekhi Pfeiffer was indeed

in a movie called O. That's what they've been doing all along is pre-guessing. Has anyone ever had to use a lifeline first round? Oh, hell yeah. Oh yeah, it's happened. Okay, because I'm going third. It's gonna happen again. Wait, are we definitely doing it?

Because we could toss it out and get a different name. It's your call, dude. I'll roll wherever you want. You know, I could probably go seven or eight deep on Chris. That sounds really bad. I'll do it. I mean, I can't not do this joke. Because I could probably roll like 11 to 15 deep.

I'll be honest with you, I got five. You think you could name five? Yeah, probably. How many do you think you could name apples? Maybe six. All of a sudden this turned into deal or no deal up here. Yeah.

I don't know if we have time for this, but David Apples Appleton, name six Kirsten Dunst movies. Alright. Bring it on. Interview with a vampire.

Wimbledon. Spider-Man. Spider-Man 2. Spider-Man 3. Stop talking. You are not on the stage. Yeah, I love when people start throwing up. The Spider-Man 1 and 2 didn't have anything after.

They didn't have a colon, so you can relax about full titles. And was she in 3, though? She was in all 3 of them, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because 3 was winning Evil Jack. So that's 6 movies. You did it.

You didn't win anything. You just proved your manliness. I guess I could have gone seven. She's a talent. What can I say? There are three Spider-Man movies. Sexless talent. Yeah.

Yeah, she was in Dick. She's in the movie Dick. Virgin Suicides? Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, that's what happens when you're afraid of getting dick. That's unfortunate. Virgin Suicides.

All right, so... That's unfortunate Virgin suicides Alright so Please no one listen to Kill Yourself Because you're afraid of dick Unless it's specifically you're afraid of that movie Then yeah you should probably kill yourself We need another name Now let me ask Jeremy If in his Like when you thought of Kristen Dunst Were you like We need another name. Now, let me ask Jeremy, if in his, like, when you thought of Kristen Dunst,

were you like, I can relax, I got this? Or did you, in your own mind, have a backup name? I'm going to kill you. Wait, wait, let's wait for his third, when he says Lou Gossett Sr. Cuba Gooding Jr. Jr. He must have been in a movie by now. Will Smith.

All right, I'm going to go to... Thanks, Jeremy. Jeremy's spoken, everyone. No, don't just yell out names. I'm going to do this polite style. Because this lady with the glasses in the green whose arm I thought belonged to a bald man. Paul Rudd, she says. Paul Rudd. Alright.

Not a lot better, but we don't have much time. So let's do it. No more suggestions. We're going to do Paul Rudd. Starting with you, Apples. Ant-Man. Ant-Man is indeed a Paul Rudd film. Mark.

I'm going to go with. Do you want to use your lifeline? It's me. And I'm almost out of titles. It's not Liz? What? It's not Liz? It's just you? Just me. Just you? Yeah, I'm your only lifeline. You do it. For reals? Yeah, dude. I trust you, bro. Remember that time I invited you and Donnie out for some dinner? Donnie wanted to go so bad. He was like, it's free, it's free.

I'm like, everything's fucking free. Donnie, I pay for you. I was dared to do that because I was trying to get Donnie to go to a dinner for schmucks. Boom!

You should not call you and Donnie that, but that's okay. All right, so Mark's still in it because I helped him. Chad? Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yes.

Good pull. I would have saved that one if I were you. Apples? I love you, man. This isn't the time or place for that, but I think I'm? I love you, man. This isn't the time or place for that, but I think I'm pretty fond

of you as well. Mark? The Avengers. What? Oh, wait. Well, then fuck it. I don't know the... The National Lampoon's

The Avengers. All right. That's a four-year-old joke, and I appreciate all of you for fucking knowing. Clueless. Yeah! Chad. Stop oohing.

God, I just fucking saw one. Well, I could be your lifeline for now, and when it comes back around to you, you might think of something. Wet Hot American Summer. Captain America Civil War. Yeah. That's the Avengers that Mark was probably thinking of.

Mark? 40-Year-Old Virgin. Yes. Oh, that's a way to look at it. That's helpful. Chad? I just want to say thank you guys for having me. Thank you. I just want to say thank you guys for having me. Appreciate your time.

Does your mom listen to podcasts? She does. She does? Say hi to your mom. Hi, Mom. Oh, she's here, Chad. And good job. Thank you so much.

Apps. Role models. Fuck me. Come on, Otter, you can do it. Can I tell you something? I was waiting for half the women to say okay. Why just half of them? I gotta believe he had a fucking cameo in this This is the end

What? Okay, sure Apples I get you as a lifeline Uh-huh Lifeline The object of my affection Apples. I get you as a lifeline. Uh-huh. Lifeline. The object of my affection.

Yeah. Yeah. What'd you think now, Lone Survivor? I think that after this show, people will remember me. By the way, thank you for your service. What are you doing with yourself, Paul Rudd? Where have you been lately? Fuck, Douglas. People really want you to win.

That's because they're Americans. Was he in Clueless 2, the search for clues? I think so. Apples? This is 40. Yes. Thank you, sir. Mark, do you want to keep embarrassing yourself?

It would be a first. You know what? Man, do I want to make a normal person's day? What does that mean? We're all normal. We're all less than him. To the person trying to whisper it to me from your seat, you're a cheater and nobody appreciates that.

But just out of curiosity, what are they saying? Something like... That's correct, apples. Fuck yeah. That's correct, Apples. Fuck yeah. Couples retreat?

Fuck yeah, Apples. He's not in that. He's not? No, and Apples won a long time ago. Let's hear it for Apples, everybody. Now we're going to do a one-arm push-up contest. I've already won one for the day. It'll be between these two guys. Go ahead.

I'd like Apples to name six things he does besides watch movies. That's not a dig. He's great at it. That was a compliment. What the fuck? Come on. What do you got to plug, Apples? I will be me and my wife.

My wife. It's like you're asking me to say it, then it's no fun. It's got to be like you accidentally said it in front of me and then I did that. I'm sorry. It's all right. It's all right. Wow.

Actually, me and my wife. My wife! Oh, you got me! You got me! Got me! Pow! Right there. We'll be at the Voodoo Comedy Playhouse

on July 13th. We have an improv troupe that we do together. And we'll be there at 10 p.m., 713. Awesome. Thank you so much. Apples for life. And actually, if you watch this summer on HBO's Vice Principals, it's a TV show on HBO. If you look in the background, you will see a very non-speaking Apples.

A very... I might make a funny expression, but I'm not gonna make a peep to get a SAG-AFA check from it. Way to go, dude. That's a great fucking show to be associated with. It was truly a pleasure

to be a part of. But look for your boy Apples in the very background, not talking, being a fat, sloppy teacher. All right, Apples. Chad Daniels, what's coming up? Me and my wife. My wife.

Got divorced. Divorced. I have some dates coming up. You can check on my website. But I also... I know some of you are mad at me. What's your website called? ChadDaniels.com Okay. And if you guys...

Some of you are mad, but if you laughed, you should buy my CD. Thank you. It's got 83 different colors. That's going to be the hashtag for this episode. 83 different colors. Mark? I've got a few things.

June 21st, Transformers The Last Knight. Woo! With a fucking K. A couple more things. Oh, if you have never bought a Dreamcatcher and you want to go to Donnie's Etsy store, he paid my assistant $25 to set that up. catcher and you want to go to Donnie's Etsy store? He paid my assistant $25

to set that up. Side note, I loaned Donnie $25. November 10th, Daddy's Home 2 with me and Will Ferrell. So that's fucking good. Well, I hope you're back on the show before November 10th.

And then we just started production on Mile 22. Peter Berg and I are going to change the fucking world with another movie. And last but not least, if you're not up to anything, I'm looking for a third later tonight. Who's the second? TBD, baby. So you're looking for a second and a third.

Her name is Tara Brianna Davis. She's a beautiful fucking girl. I know. I know. I don't have any more plugs written down. I'll just say douglosmovies.com. douglosmovies.com. Great job. douglosmovies.com.

Am I late? Thank you to all of my guests, Apples, Chad Daniels, and Mark Otter-Walberg. Goldberg! For the listeners, I'm alone now. As always, Ryan Berger is a shithead.

Okay, that's a real specific one. And anyone who hasn't called their mom yet today is a shithead. Thanks again to Loot Crate for sponsoring today's show. This month's theme, Guardians. Featuring authentic products from Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Star Wars, Destiny, and Goonies. One lucky subscriber will also win a Mega Crate. Be sure to subscribe by 9 p.m. Pacific Time on the 19th to receive this month's crate

and save $3 on your subscription when you go to lootcrate.com slash Doug and enter the code Doug. D-O-U-G. You know how to spell it by now. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies