Doug Loves Movies - "Mark Wahlberg," Matt Mira and charity auction winner Josh Brown guest

Episode Date: May 29, 2016

Live from the Wilbur Theatre in Boston, Doug welcomes fan favorites "Mark Wahlberg," Matt Mira and charity auction winner Josh Brown to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, today's episode is brought to you by our longtime friends and supporters, Squarespace. Whether you need a landing page, a beautiful gallery, a professional blog, or an online store, it's all included with your Squarespace website. Start your free trial today at squarespace.com and enter the offer code D-o-u-g doug to get 10 off your first purchase enjoy the show That he won't see another movie Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name's Doug, and I love movies.

This is Pop-Up Movies. Oh, shit. Some of you are so high right now. Even on the ground floor. We're coming to you once again from the Wilbur Theater in Boston, Massachusetts! Yes! It's Saturday, May 28th, 2016. Let me see some name tags, Beantown.

Oh, goodness. This is crazy. Apologies to the mezzanine in the balcony because there's a shit ton of name tags on the floor. because there's a shit ton of name tags on the floor. That Children of Ben one freaked me out when I saw it on Twitter. That's a pretty disturbing poster. Show everybody.

Look at that shit. Okay, okay, put them down, put them down. I don't even know why I ask at a show like this. I've seen a lot of them on Twitter already, and I know your enthusiasm from previous experience. Doug plugs, I'm happy to announce that Doug Loves Movies will be right back here in this very venue, the Wilbur Theater, on Saturday, October 8th at 420. I assume it won't be balls hot when you're outside waiting to get in.

But they got the air conditioning fired up today, so it feels like everybody should be comfortable. And if you want to, the tickets went on sale just now. So if you go to the box office of this theater right after this show, or at any point between now and October 8th, there's no service fees if you buy it at the box office of the Wilbur. So that saves you like six or seven bucks. Fucking ticket master. And six or seven bucks for them to just print out a ticket. That sucks. And yeah, and also, obviously, you'll get a shot at, you know, you'll get better seats. Those of you who aren't up front this time, no one else is going to know about this until this podcast

is released tomorrow. So buy your tickets today or tomorrow if you can. Monday night, Douglas Movies is back at the Gramercy Theater in New York City. I'm doing a bunch of stuff at the Limestone Comedy Festival next weekend in Bloomington, Indiana. My mom calls it Bloomies. And Doug Loves Movies is back in Los Angeles at Meltdown Comics on Monday, June 5th at 4.20.

And for those of you who are wondering what happened to the Doug Loves Movies from St. Louis last Wednesday, it was a bit of a disaster, but I know people love to hear the train wreck episodes. So we're going to put it on sale for $2 on iTunes in the comedy album section in about a week to 10 days. So some people might buy it with no idea how...

It's not an awful episode. Some really funny stuff happened, but there was some carnage. Now it's time for Not For Emetophobes. The very first scene of Neighbors 2 is not for emetophobes. The rest of the movie, you're golden, but I mean, unless you get grossed out by

tear bonds. Let's take a look in the prize bag, you guys. I was at a thing called the Hangout Music Festival last weekend, and somebody was giving away these mistin' fans where you can fan yourself,

but it's also you can fill it with water and spray and fan yourself at the same time. That's pretty genius. I can't believe I haven't seen an infomercial for that yet. Doug Loves Movies T-shirt. A cookie from my hotel. A Peacemaker pipe, a rubber pipe that's very good for getting through situations where metal's not allowed, and from my personal VHS collection. A Comedy Central Presents compilation reel.

So it's like 20 minutes of moments from Comedy Central Presents. I don't know why I have it. I think it might be something they send out to the comics like, here's what we want you to do when you come on. Talk into that microphone and be funny. And an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Entitled Reptile Boy. So all of that is in this Brookstone bag because I had to go to Brookstone recently.

Yeah, I said it the way I meant to. Had to go to Brookstone. It's the only place in the mall that had headphones and I fucking needed headphones. I had a headphone emergency, you guys. Let's get my guests out here.

Yeah. For a very Boston episode of the show, please give a big warm welcome to Josh Brown, Matt Myra, and Mark Wahlberg. Oh! Oh He's very handsome in person I know right This is your first time on the show together

Together yes Oh my god I just got pierced by those blue eyes I love it He doesn't speak until spoken to We gotta meet the guest sitting directly to my left With a big glass of beer in his lap Because This dude

You got fans? Someone loves me already I think it's my wife My wife Alright settle down, wife. Don't you be yelling out answers to him and shit. But here's the deal. Josh is on this stage with us because he lives in the Boston area.

And I had an auction on the podcast-a-thon, Jimmy Pardo's podcast-a-thon, where the money goes to a great cause. It's called Smile Train. And how much did you... What was your winning bid, Josh? If you don't mind repeating it out loud. It was a lot. Can you not say? I mean, especially with the

wife here? Because, you know, you probably need that money. Yeah, she might not know how much it is. Oh, really? That could be a problem. Let me really quickly ask her, how much do you think he spent? She doesn't even want to know. You really don't want to know.

I'll tell you this. It cost $250 to fix for the surgery to fix a child in a third world country's cleft palate. That's what Smile Train does is they fix children's fucked up palates

so they can have a normal life instead of having a crazy messed up face and it costs $250 per surgery. And thanks to our new friend, Josh Brown, 20 kids are going to get a new face. Just keep saying to yourself, it's tax deductible.

It's tax deductible. 501c3, that's all. Make sure you need a big tax deduction at the end of this year, because you already have one. That's right. And thank you for doing that. Of course, my pleasure. What's your job in life? What do you do?

I sell toilets. Whoa. You must sell a lot of fucking toilets. A lot of toilets. Oh, yeah, yeah. You must sell a lot of fucking toilets. A lot of toilets. Oh, yeah, yeah. My family owns a company, Metropolitan Pipe in Cambridge, Mass.

Go to Metropolitan Pipe if you want your toilets sounding great. And if your toilet's face is messed up, they'll fix it. Well, that is awesome that you could afford to do that. And thanks for being a fan of the show. I'm told you've never been to a taping, but you've heard it, obviously. Yeah, I wanted these seats. So you know what to do. I got it, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. All right. I think he's going to be a great guest, you guys. I feel good. you guys. I feel good. Also joining us here on stage for I think the second time in Boston. Yeah. Or maybe third? Second one? Don't remember. Yeah.

Because we see each other out in California all the time and random spots. But it's Matt Myra, everybody! Hello! Hello! but it's Matt Myra everybody hello I figured if I said to you you know you want to go do the show in Boston you'd be up for it if you had the time yes you always like to visit

I love coming back of course he hails from Lowell, Mass yeah wicked awesome Lowell Spin. Yeah. Wicked awesome. Lowell Spinners. Single A ball club for the Sox. Yankees do suck.

You are right. In case you were wondering, David Ortiz hit a home run in the ninth inning. They are up by one run right now. ninth inning. They are up by one run right now. I love that they care that much about a game that they blew off to be here. But sometimes, you know, too many options. In the St. Louis show on Wednesday,

there were some Blues fans that came to the show anyway, even though they were playing a crucial game. And then we all got the news that they lost while my show was going on. Wow. That was another thing that did not help. Doug, if I wanted to hear that show and I had $2, could I get that show? You can, as long as you're willing to wait 7 to 10 days.

And have to deal with iTunes. You can also get it at Dougouglosemovies.com if you want to do it that way. And also joining us on stage is the one and only Merrick Wahlberg. How you guys doing? You doing good?

The man does not speak until the room is silent. I'm like a substitute teacher. I'll wait all fucking day for you kids. That is true. The substitutes usually have to wait a long time

for the kids to stop cheering their appearance. I'll just fucking stand there. I'll tap the board and I'll be like, eyes up here, eyes up here. And then I crush. What you doing in Boston, my friend? The fuck aren't I doing here, motherfucker? This is my hometown.

I'm bringing this up. You know, actually, I'm actually starting an unofficial door test today. It's tomorrow. Let's fucking do it. Everybody bring their own rock and we just throw it at Buicks when they drive by.

Kind of steps on Memorial Day, Mark. Fuck that shit, too. They can have Monday. We're taking Sunday. I don't see what the problem is. I appreciate everybody here taking a few hours out of your Memorial Day weekend. I guess it's pretty hot out there, so it's nice to be inside.

Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah, well, I don't know how you walk around in that jacket outside. That's fucking sweaty. The weather changes for me, dude. So, Mark, what did you bring for the prize bag today? I brought some fucking great gifts. Okay, let's hear about them.

bag today. I brought some fucking great gifts. Okay, let's hear about them. These are brain teasers. What? They're like little fucking tricks that magicians do and shit. It doesn't seem like that'd be something you'd be into. I'm giving it away because I'm not fucking into it.

I don't need this shit. Why would I let the... I'm the one that does the teasing. They don't fucking tease me. I'm the one that teases. And then this, I brought this out of spite. It's a glow-in-the-dark axe and the only reason I bought it

is because Donnie wanted it so bad. And I was like, I'll buy it, Donnie. I'll buy it for you. And then I brought it here. It's a glow axe and there's just a child like, I'm holding an axe! Yeah, that child ain't fucking around, Doug.

This kid's ready for questions. Yeah. Axe me anything? It's like if Game of Thrones met an EDM festival. I think you can get that at the Lizzie Borden House gift shop. Local reference. It's also got a warning that if you're under three, you might choke on it.

But four-year-olds can swallow it down. That's also a warning I give every woman. I don't know how to feel about that joke. Seems like an unspoken. And it says it lasts for hours. You know how I give that warning. Oh, I'm so confused by these brain teasers. I'm going to put them away.

Matt, what do you got for the bag, buddy? Well, Doug, I was walking around this morning. And first of all, first thing you're going to get is $20 to Dunkin Donuts. It's right there. And then the second thing you're going to get is a whole set of Cheers magnets. Whoa. Yeah. You got Norm. Whoa. Yeah. You got Norm.

You got Cliff. You got season two cast picture. It's got Coach in it, guys. Coach is fucking legit. This is some pre-Woody shit right here. Yeah. And there's one more on the bottom, Doug. It's got the Cheers logo on the back.

Do you see that? Yeah. It's very nice Cheers logo on the back. Do you see that? Yeah. That's very nice. Four magnets. Four magnets, you guys. In one package. I was going to bring a gift card to Wahlburgers, and I was like, fuck you. Spend your money there.

You think you're fucking better than me? You need free fucking burgers? Fuck you. Get the Thanksgiving burger. It's my favorite. Was that a turkey patty? Fuck, it is, dude. Nice.

Paul makes that shit good, bro. And Josh, as if he hasn't given enough, has brought a whole bag full of stuff. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So the winner tonight is going to get two bags. First of all, we benefit by not having to look at 20 weird kids. bags. First of all,

we benefit by not having to look at 20 weird kids. I do what I can. I do what I can. All right. So, I mean, I'm a real shill for my own company. You said first of all, and that was the only... That was it. Well, second of all,

you got this stuff. Sure. There's more things. So, I've got some Metropolitan Pipe koozies. Oh, okay. Yeah, let's get more references to Metropolitan Pipe. When you were growing up, was your dad like, son, we lay pipe for a living? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've also got a Metropolitan Pipe t-shirt. Oh! You're being careful. That's amazing. If you give me one of those shirts, I will wear it the next time I'm on at midnight. Oh, I'm totally yeah.

This might not. I don't know what size that is. All right. If you need another one, it's happening. I've also got Metropolitan Pipe golf balls You know what dude If you want me to I'll cut a fucking promo For your business right now Oh yeah yeah I want that Why don't you come on down to Metropolitan Pipe

We'll never get sick of Taking your shit That was good Yeah I know you don't usually Do a second take But you kind of stumbled Through that one Okay let's do another one

Okay You know why I know why I fucked it up Look good feel good Oh shit You forgot to get ready Feel good Okay say it again

Hey how about you Come on down to Metro No you need to shut the fuck up. What are you doing? The man is acting. Put your hand in the air and punch yourself. All right, ready? Here we go. Come on down to Metropolitan Pipe.

Maybe you didn't know this. We can handle your shit. Little rewrite. He rewrote it a little bit. Fucking improv, bro. I'll no-am that shit all day. Mark, you've taken improv classes? Fuck yeah. I'm the best.

Every time we get an improv scene, I'm like, who brought the fucking guns? And then I just fucking shoot everybody. And I play a cop all the time. Every scene? Every fucking scene, dude. Cop improv. It's like cop rock. It needs to be cancelled

immediately. Buckle up. We got some more branded merch Oh there's plenty more I'm feeling like it's less generous How much stuff you brought If everything says Met Pipe on it Nah I'm gonna finish strong I know it's 95 degrees

But I have a Met Pipe winter hat In case anybody needs that You don't want your pipes to freeze If they do call Met Pipe winter hat in case anybody needs that. You don't want your pipes to freeze. If they do, call Met Pipe. Now, I've also got two universal shower heads in case anybody needs a new shower head. One's a little bit... One's like kind of a plain wrapper, like a black market showerhead.

But this one's real nice. Doug, that's some quality shit. That's a Delta. Oh, yeah. And a Kohler. It's a fucking Kohler, man. That's what we sell at Metropolitan. So at MetPipe, you get quality merch?

That's right. I have a question here, and I'm just thinking about the lonely people. Are those detachable? I didn't bring here, and I'm just thinking about the lonely people. Are those detachable? I didn't bring those, no. There's nothing like taking a detachable showerhead under your undercarriage and enjoying yourself.

I've got one last one. It's a signed copy of a Blu-ray of Beer Fest. Signed by Josh Brown? Signed by Josh Brown. Josh Brown signed this, you guys. That is some prize bag. Yeah, I managed to get everything into one bag, though, so you only have to leave with one bag.

I don't feel bad about taking this T-shirt now. Oh, yeah, yeah. It wouldn't have fit in the bag. Yeah, no, it all fit perfectly once you took the T-shirt. So we'll just leave that other bag on the floor like it's about to shoot a scene in American Beauty. Thanks for bringing all that stuff, you guys. And I just want to ask you a couple things before we get into the game portion of the show. a couple things before we get into the game portion of the show.

Starting with, let's start with Matt. Do you know, let's do your MDB instead of IMDB. Do you know the top four things you're known

for according to IMDB currently? I think there might be four things I did. So just list them off think there might be four things I did. So I'm going to just list them off. Just list the four things you've done. It's got to be Attack of the Show. Number one. Yeah. At Midnight. Number two.

Nerdist on BBC America. Number three. Fucking run that table, bro. Hang on. Number four is probably a Comic-Con special? No, it's also The Nerdist. Two seasons.

Two seasons. We had two seasons. It was a good show. Yeah, that's cool. Mark Wahlberg, do you want to take a shot at what your top four are? There's a lot of movies to choose from, obviously. How do you choose four?

You don't, dude. You don't really. And the answer might surprise some people. Rockstar? No. Okay. That would have been surprising if that was one of the top four things that you're known for. No offense.

They throw B-Nights up there? Boogie Nights is number one, dude. Fucking A it is, dude. It's an American fucking classic. I heard the director of that didn't make another movie after that. Not true. Not true. Pretty sure it's fucking true.

He's made a lot of good stuff. Pauly T. He's made some really good movies. I doubt it. Okay. He's made a lot of good stuff. Pauly T. He's made some really good movies. I doubt it. Okay, let's see. Transformers? No. I mean, we literally could do this all night.

Yeah, you got a lot of credits, but just try two more times, and we'll see how many you get out of four. So far, Matt has four. It'd be great if the fourth one... Is the fourth one Four Brothers? No. Fuck. Contraband.

The Departed. No. The Other Guys. I Heart Huckabees. No. The Happening. No. Renaissance Man.

No. I swear to God, if one of these is like a documentary about Donnie and I'm just featured in it, that he made himself on a fucking Galaxy 2. What about...

Entourage? Walburgers. Entourage? Walburgers? Yeah. Entourage? Ted 2. It's a guy who's like,

you've got a lot of feature film credits. I know. They're all fucking classics. It's a guy who's like, you've got a lot of feature film credits. I know. They're all fucking classics. They can go all feature films on you. Well, Entourage was a feature film, lest we forget. What would you say, yeah. What would you say if I said they should have only listed one movie?

Boogie Nights. I was trying to get you to say Lone Survivor. Fuck yeah. And then for your fourth one to say Lone Survivor. Fuck yeah. And then for your fourth one, for some reason, they went with Prisoners. Why? Because I produced it? I don't know. Yeah, I guess.

All right. Well, you know what? It's just the hits. Mark, what was the last movie you saw? You know what I fucking saw to put me in the mood to come back home I saw The Finest Hours Those fucking kids fighting waves up in the fucking cape That's true That's what happened in that movie

It is fucking true They got the fucking The kid who cries a lot from Star Trek You got Chris Pine I don't know what his fucking name is Chris Pine Whatever his fucking name is. Chris Pine. Whatever his fucking name is.

Him and the Hulk. Him and the Hulk. Mark Ruffalo. No, the other fucking Hulk. No, the other fucking Hulk. Lou Ferrigno. No. I'm out of Hulks.

He was the Australian. Eric Bana. It is fucking Eric Bana. It's like side games are breaking out on my show. Let's do a side quiz. They're so mad too because they wanted to call that movie something else.

They're like, can we call it The Perfect Storm? And I'm like, go fuck yourself. Well, that was my next question was going to be,

doesn't that movie just feel like a remake of Perfect Storm or is it about two different incidents different era no you got cassandra affleck fucking running around on a broken boat it's fucking great i love the answer it's a different era like being in a boat out in the ocean is like oh it's different things at your disposal yeah that's true that's true all Matt. What was the last thing you saw? Last thing I watched at home movie wise was running down a dream.

The Tom Petty documentary. Sounds like we got some old people in the audience. The Peter Bogdanovich directed. I'm going to throw this on. And then I paused it. And it was there was three and a half hours left. I was like, I guess I'm all in on this stuff, anything. And you watched all of it. I watched all of it over two sittings.

Yeah. And loved it. I did. It was great. It was great. Are there really long passages of music? Is that why it's so long? There are songs, there are full performances, but, uh, it's a lot of interesting stuff.

And then like about his first band mud crutch, which I thought, I thought that was interesting. And then I was like, they played a song and I was like, holy shit, that sounds like fucking Vampire Weekend. But it was from 1974.

And then like the next day, I went online and just typed in Tom Petty and the Ticketmaster and Mud Crutch has reunited. And they're touring right now. Go see Mud Crutch, everybody. All right.

Do you insist? I do. You're welcome. Can your nickname from now on be Mud Crutch? Sure can. Because that just fits in perfectly. Matt Mud Crutch Myra. Love it. Thanks, Doug. You're welcome.

Josh, what was the last movie you saw, man? You know what? I was really hoping that I was going to be able to see some type of movie that came out recently, but I just came back from Ireland on Wednesday. This guy fucking brags constantly. I'm country dropping. They got a lot of shitter troubles over there. They do.

Yeah. So the last movie I watched on a plane, it was Juno. Oh, all Yeah. So the last movie I watched on a plane it was Juno. Oh, all right. It was a good movie. That's a fun plane watch. Yeah, right.

You had a library of movies and you chose Juno? Well, it was the fourth movie out of four movies that I had watched. Oh, so that made it the last movie he's seen. That was the last one.

All right. Before that, Star Force Awakens was on there. It's a great plane movie. It is. It is a really great plane movie. It is. That is a really good plane movie. Yeah, I can watch that shit

over and over again. I've seen Deadpool like 10 times now on planes. My favorite, for a long time, my favorite plane movie was Age of Ultron because it was so

fast forwardable. Fucking, that movie is so good if you give me fast forward. Yeah, if you can move it along when it needs to be. If I can move it along

at my pace, that is the best Marvel movie ever made. There's a couple scenes when Captain America Civil War is playing on planes. There's a couple scenes where I'll go take a shit. Oh, yeah. But I love it. I love most of it. It's really good.

But there's a couple parts where you can go to the bathroom. What's that, Mark? I turned it down. Which character did they want you to play? They wanted me to voice that little fucking robot. Johnny Number Five or whatever the fuck his name is. I really, Mark, I got to be honest. I thought you were going to say

you turned down the part of the war. That's true. I've turned down the ocean in three fucking movies. Am I missing something? Is there a robot in it? An Ultron? Isn't there a fucking movie? Yeah, but no.

We're talking about the new one. Civil War. I'm on my own level, bro. Civil War was all right. Can I ask a serious fucking question about that movie? Please. No, this is fucking hardcore. No one can fucking answer this for me.

Go. They do a big fucking fight. Spoiler alert. It's called war. Fuck yourself. Go see it. They do a big fucking fight. Spoiler alert. It's called war. Fuck yourself. Go see it. They do a big fucking fight, right? Yeah.

The whole fight. Who's fighting that super ripped Barney looking motherfucker? Nobody. That dude doesn't fight anybody the whole fight. Like you just fucking stancer. Did anyone else think this at all? Okay. I think he's just, you know, Vision is very powerful and he understands this, so

he doesn't want to really... So what, the fight starts and he's like, I'm over here. You guys fucking do your thing. Yeah, he's like, if you really need me, I'll be over here staring at Red Scarlet. He doesn't want to hurt anybody. At Scarlet Witch's, you know. Yeah. You know, there's people he likes are on the wrong side. By the way,

her accent in that movie, Scarlet Witch's accent in that movie, is so off and on. It's insane. It's the worst accent I've seen in a movie. She's a fucking spy, bro. She can slip in and out of whatever fucking accent she wants. It's all part of the character.

I stand corrected by Mark Wahlberg. She's a fucking spy, bro. I think he's thinking that the Scarlet Witch is Scarlet Johansson. She was a spy. No. You're getting your characters mixed up there. Uh-oh. Now he's taking a call.

Why does Mark Wahlberg have an iPhone 4S? You know why? What is happening, Mark? I have two phones. That one is for contacting normal people. I have a nice new phone for contacting famous people. With the normal people phone, I just recast Scarlett Johansson as the Scarlet Witch,

so I'm fucking right, people. I can't argue with that, Doug. I'm not going to join. I still have a pager, too, but that's none of your business. Speaking of trying things, I tried to see X-Men Apocalypto today. And, I mean, I wanted to see Apocalypse now. I was psyched about it.

And went down here to the street to the Lowe's and in the lobby, the snack bar, the ticket thing, it was all pretty mellow, you know, but I got there right when it was going to start. And I go into the theater and the theater's packed, the 1130 a.m. showing for a two hour and 16 minute movie plus 20 minutes of fucking trailers that show the entirety of the other movies that are coming out this summer and uh and i'm sitting there and right behind me i just hear like a little peep every once in a while i turn around look and there's like a five-year-old kid with his dad and dad is fast asleep like i wanted to call social services like this fucking guy's gonna put this kid through this movie they'll surely maybe torment him I don't know I don't know where kids are at these days

with all the shit they see watching Walking Dead in their living rooms but because it's PG-13 but it's just intense and has a lot of like so long story short you sure? we'll see we'll find out and has a lot of, like, so long story short. You sure? We'll see. We'll find out. No, it's a pretty short story because it only took about 10 minutes into the movie.

First of all, the very first scene of the movie, it was so boring, I couldn't believe it. And then it got into some better stuff. Jennifer Lawrence shows up. And so the movie suddenly has some mystique again. That is a professional.

And the little kid, he makes an occasional peep. So I'm kind of shooting looks like, what's going to go on with this? What's going to happen? How's this kid going to endure this thing? When's his dad going to wake up?

Ten minutes into the movie, at most, the kid starts singing Jingle Bells. I love this fucking kid. Also, Doug, for the record, movies. Babysitting kids in Boston for a hundred years. Yeah, so yeah, dad thought this was a good chance for me to get some shut-eye while my kid watches this movie.

And the kid's singing Jingle Bells, so I turn and give him a little shh. Just like that? This is where it gets really good. You're right, I probably was more like shh. It's probably? This is where it gets really good. You're right. I probably was more like shh. It's probably a meaner shush than that.

But the kid goes, you shut up. Fucking A. Roddy fucking does. That's fucking Boston, dog. That's fucking Boston. That's right.

Welcome to the hub, bitch. Fuck yeah. I hope that kid looked at you and was like, you think you're better than me? Go fuck yourself. Well, and because I'm bad with confrontations in movie theaters while the movie's in progress,

I said, what? You fucking heard me. And then he goes, shut your fat mouth. and hurt me. And then he goes, shut your fat mouth. To which his dad opened one eye and went, way to fucking go, son.

So I got up and, because this, you know, no offense to the Lowe's chain, necessarily, but, you know, movie theaters, Alamo, Drafthouse, Arclight, there's movie theaters

popping up everywhere. They're spoiling me by saying, you know, if someoneamo Drafthouse Arclight there's movie theaters popping up everywhere they're spoiling me by saying you know if someone's really talking during the movie we will do something about it but you walk out

into the lobby at this place you can't even find an employee you're at Boston Common Lowe's brother there's nothing happening in that

fucking lobby fuck yeah dude if you kids talking to you you fucking deserved it fuck yeah dude if you came up to me and I'd be like, what's your problem?

And you tell me the story. I'm like, have you tried fighting the kid? Well, did you look at him? What the fuck did you look at him for? Seriously. Was he in front of you? Oh, you turned around to look at him. You expect him to say nothing?

Yep. Either break a fucking ball. Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Take your fucking movie-watching attitude to Los Angeles. At the very least... Dodges suck.

At the very least, break a fucking bottle and show it to somebody that works, or take an old-school cap to a Gatorade, the metal kind, put it in the center of your hand, and fucking smack the person. Mark, we're talking about a five-year-old. All right, Nantucket Nectus. Perfect.

Matt Meyer, you better be careful. You're going to work your way into a fucking buddy cop movie with me. That's right. So I said, I'm going to get you to shut up, or something to that effect, and got up and left, knowing I wasn't going to find anybody or do anything. But and got up and left knowing i wasn't gonna find anybody or do anything but i at least went because the dad was uh seemed to come he was coming around

say that in this atmosphere that kid probably thought you were going to get a gun i i just you know i said something you know and i just got up and left and then uh but i was you know i went and saw another movie and uh with with a a crowd of seven or eight people. So I guess they're really into their tent poles on opening weekend around here. Neighbors 2 did not get such a good turnout, which is fine. I was fine with that. And I wanted to see Neighbors 2. And I was only fuming a little bit because I was excited about Apocalypse.

Do you feel like you're never going to see it now? What? Are you going to go back to try and see it somewhere else? Yeah, I will. I might skip out the first few minutes because I couldn't believe how boring the first few minutes were. But it's just a sequence that doesn't involve any of the characters we know, and it's like a disaster movie kind of sequence.

It's just sort of like, why would I care about any of this? Because it hasn't been set up at all. It's just suddenly there's some sort of disaster that happened a long time ago. But I guess we'll find out later in the movie why they show it. Well, you're never going to know because of that fucking asshole kid. Yeah, I'm never going to watch that movie. But the thing is, Neighbors 2 is considerably shorter. So I was like, I could not my curiosity, I just could not drop the idea that it was a packed theater. I couldn't have been the only person that didn't want a kid singing Jingle Bells.

So I went back and the movie was still going. Dad and son were gone. Fuck yeah, dude. You won. I might have. I don't know. No, because you played that perfect move. I do this shit all the time.

You look at somebody and you go, stay right here. I'll be back in two fucking minutes. And then you never come back. And then you never come back. And then you never come back. Matt almost ran off the show. Don't do that. I told him to me. I got to go.

It's the best, though, because then they sit there for another hour being like this fuckers coming back at any time. You probably went to go get other people. What the fuck is happening? You scared the shit out of that little kid. And then there's a running gag through Neighbors 2 where Seth Rogen and what's her name? Rose Byrne. They're like two or three year old. Their two year old has turned a corner and just says no to them.

Everything they ask him to do. It was totally like that kid. So kids suck. Is the bottom line. But I already had the nerve to be concerned about that kid because five is not old enough for a PG-13, right? Well, I mean, he had his parental guidance there. He did.

Which is only a suggestion. He had his sleep master with him. Yeah, it is just a suggestion, but that's where I get frustrated with the violence, the kinds of violence they have in PG-13 movies, because I like Bloodshed very much, because it's cool to look at, but it also depicts it realistically, so at least even though it's gratuitous sometimes, it's still showing that there are consequences, whereas these PG-13 superhero movies, they just throw each other against walls really hard constantly,

which you cannot do in real life. That would hurt. That would cause irreparable damage unless you're Mark Wahlberg. Like, you're not in any, except for Transformers, I don't think you're in any, like, action movies that are PG or PG-13.

Like, they show the violence as it is in your movies, right? Yeah, we keep it real. I mean, I said numerous times, lone survivor, real ammo. Mark, you're right. We don't have real ammo. You can't be shooting a real gun on set. Okay, use that past tense

because it already fucking happened. No, that is not a real gun. You whip out in boogie nights. Yes, it is a real fucking gun and it never shoots blanks. He actually had to put on a prosthetic of a smaller dick. Yeah.

No, I've said this too. They shot that scene, the camera's 75 feet away, just so people would believe it. They did a reverse of the Zali shot in Jaws, just to make it look smaller. Forget it. Wow. I bet his name tag has something to do with Jaws because he was way too

happy for that reference. Let's get right into it, you guys. Let's let the games begin. Fuck yeah. Whoa. Look at all these name tags. Boston brought a lot of name tags. And especially the people up front, I think. But can we get the house

lights up a little bit to see the see all this stuff? See what's going on in the balcony and a little bit more. Can it get brighter in here? And while they get their name tags, we're going to go to a brief commercial message we'll be right back today's episode is brought to you by squarespace our buddies at squarespace we love squarespace

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first purchase. That's D-O-U-G Doug at squarespace.com. Back to the show. We're back and Matt has got all the donuts. Oh man, that's a lot of donuts. Ding dong. Hey, mom, the donut delivery guy is here. Holy crap. All right, well, maybe put it all down on the stage before it all falls out of your hands, because that is quite a leaning stack of donuts.

Let me just take a look. Oh, those are good. Oh, yeah. Doug, I'm just taking a look at all the donuts we got here. We got a lot of donuts. Oh, boy. Hang on, someone ate half of these. Someone took a bite

out of some of them? What's this? Is this called like a Simpsons donut? It's kind of like it. I can't see the balcony when the lights are down. But I'm going to try. Does anybody want a donut?

Doug, I figured it out. These people want donuts. Guess what's going to happen? It's so inconvenient for you guys to get these on your way here because there's hardly any Dunkin' Donuts in this town. Oh, good catch. Throw them to people that want them. Where's a big name tag? Somebody hold up a big name tag.

I want to hit a big one. Oh, that's a big name tag? Somebody hold up a big name tag. I want to hit a big one. This is also what's wrong with this country. That ex machina one right there. Oh! Put it up. Did I hit the floor? Did it go frosting first? Are you okay?

You good? Coconut munchkin! What did you do today? You want a Boston cream? All right, you guys. We got to wrap this up. Hang on. I'm not going to throw the Boston cream. It's got cream. Oh, come on! Fucking eat it. It's good. It's. I'm not going to throw the Boston cream. It's got cream. Oh, come on.

Fucking eat it. It's good. It's good. You got a five second rule on that. All right, guys. Periodically throughout the show, I will be throwing out donuts. What a day. I've had so many dreams like this.

That blow up doll was there there Mark Wahlberg was there all these donuts you also got a 30 for 30 well the guy gave it to me and said give that to Doug this is for me I haven't seen any of them this is a lot of them

first three oh have you really never seen they're awesome the first 30 are in here nice oh boy thanks dude never seen. They're awesome. The first 30 are in here. Oh, boy, dude. I feel like I should have a donut.

That's 340 calories. I know that because I read the sign. I'm going to go French color to 280. Here we go. All right. You don't have to talk us through the whole process. Mark. I don't know. Who are you playing for, Mark? Look at this thing. It's the Depatted.

I'm playing for a dude named Ed. Is the guy who made it, is his name Pat or Ted? Ed. It's just Ed, I think. Or Dep. I think it's The. What's your name, guy who made that? Pat? Okay,

it's Pat. Fucking A, dude. The fucking Departa. I guess that makes sense. He wouldn't take the R out if his name was Ted. He'd still say Departed. But great job. That's a really amazing poster. Matt, who are you playing for? Joe and Fred's Excellent Adventure.

Am I playing for Joe and Fred? Yep. They're playing for Joe and Fred right there. Teamwork. They made a great poster. Mark Wahlberg's on it. See you right there, Mark. Pretty cool, right?

I'm on that. Ed Asner's on there. Jeff Tate. Doug's in a moon. Jeff Tate's in there. I see you right there, Mark. Pretty cool, right? I'm on that. Ed Asner's on there. Jeff Tate. Doug's in a moon. Jeff Tate's in there. What a time. What a time to be alive. So many donuts.

Josh, what do you got? I just want to say on maths, it says donuts fly when you're having fun. Under Joe and Fred's X-Men. Holy shit. They changed the tagline. This is... I might have to eat another one. Those are some fans of the show. Wait, let's give them some donuts. Where are they?

Where are the guys that made that one? Yeah. Oh, wait, is that jelly? This one's got shit in the middle. I throw those extra hard. If they have filling, I really want it to explode when it hits the person's hands. For the listener at home, there's literally six dozen fucking donuts on the stage. And for the listener in the room right now, I will be hosting a cardio session after the show.

For all of you people making mistakes right now. Oh, by the way, just for the bar, really quick. Sorry, Doug. Can I get a Jack and Coke medium rare? Jack and Coke. Please. I don't know what the medium rare part means. You know what?

We cannot exist on the same level of drink ordering Mark Wahlberg does. That's why your number's in my normal person phone. Hang on. It's an honor just to be there. This one's really messy. Oh, hey. Almost went right into her cleavage. Hang on.

Somebody brought wet naps. What? Yeah, hang on. Where? There's a wet nap situation on one of these lids. Oh, look at that. I'm going to bring this

over to you. I need one. That's somebody that thinks ahead. Thanks for the wet nap. All right, hang on. Why can't we do this same sort of deal?

Which is something I say after sex. Why can't we do this same sort of deal? Which is something I say after sex. Doug, I don't understand why we can't do the same sort of thing at shows just with like Ziploc bags of protein shakes. Well, that could become a thing if people bring healthy snacks and they get up onto the stage. I'll throw those out too.

Fuck yeah. I think I'm sweating From being around This much sugar Also just so you know If you keep giving away Free food at your shows Donnie will start Showing up And this is

A blow up Who brought this up here That was attached To some fucking Donut holes I went back there Because two girls Each Two girls Each showed one tit And this is a blow up. Who brought this up here? That was attached to some fucking donut holes. I went back there because two girls each showed one tit. Okay. Okay.

Read the back. Check out the tramp stamp on the back. For shitheads, see shithole. And then it points to the butthole and then you got to reach in there pull out a note. That is fantastic.

Who's Denny Chin? Yeah, apparently. He's a shithead. That's all you need to know about him. Denny Chin's a shithead. What a fucking payoff. I don't know if you know this, but Denny Chin, that's the name of that five-year-old kid that was behind you at X-Men Apocalypse. The fucking shithead.

For the listener at home, that all came out of a blow-up doll that is currently being gagged by a chocolate donut hole. Oh, yeah. I forgot to say there's a donut hole in its mouth. That is a 100% accurate description. Careful, Doug. Donuts. All right. Oh, boy.

Do it, Doug. Oh, no. You check that door for heat Doug Is that a pussy in your donut Or you just Donut in your pussy I need another wet nap

I should put another donut in its butt This thing has got For the lizard hole It has got all the holes. Doug took that blow-up doll and carbo-loaded that pussy. You flip it over, Doug. Don't let that thing look at us. Oh, boy. We're getting Prince of Tides now.

Oh, boy. We're getting Prince of Tides now. Go watch Prince of Tides if you don't know what that means. Oh! Doug, you just put one in the stink. But if you need to put one in the sink, call my good friend. Yay!

Matt Pipe. Josh, thank you for being here. Alright, now that that's over with, that's gotta be a fun 15 minutes for the listeners. Horrible. Horrible. Let's play

some games. Wait, I got my name tag first. Oh yeah, sorry Josh. Tell us about your name tag. So mine is Harry Potfin in the order of the pizza. And it's got a picture of you as Harry Potter and then I'm assuming either Harry, Pot, or Fin

sleeping with pizza in the bottom left-hand corner of it. Yeah, that must be the person's name tag it is. Yeah. Well, that would be my guess. Is it Vin? Is that who it is? Potvin. Your name is Potvin? Your name is Potvin? It's a great name.

Wow. Your name is Potvin. That's an amazing name. I don't want to ruin anything, but I totally agree with your shitheads. We'll see what happens. I feel like I feel this is anybody's game. I think we've got three strong competitors.

Josh just watched four movies on a plane, so he's loaded for bear crush us. I just I had so much fucking food this morning and then these donuts showed up. This is why I'm fat. I'm just like, I'm going to get hungry, and then guess what? Donuts are going to be gone.

Matt, one way to not have to deal with donuts is to not gather them all from the audience. Doug, you don't understand my plight. If there are boxes of donuts being handed to me, I'm not going to say no to that. I'm the same way with ellipticals, dude. See? You see? You hand Mark Wahlberg an elliptical,

he will throw it at someone. All right, you guys. Let's start with a new sensation that's sweeping the nation. It's Jason and Deb's IMDb game. So this will be the first to five points, or the person with the most points after five rounds.

I will start listing the top four of somebody's IMDb page. You buzz in with your own name when you think you know who it might be. You buzz in too early and guess wrong, like after one movie, then you're subject to negative one point for an incorrect guess. But if you get in in the first two or three, then you get a bonus point for each additional movie you can name featuring that same person.

Sometimes it's directors, but I'll just say it right now. Not today. So there's no confusion. Many questions? I'm excited, Doug. I'm ready to win, Doug. No questions. Yeah, thank you, Josh, for summarizing

that they just made statements. And of course, no audience help, please, until the very end of the show, after it's over. And you can walk right up to anybody and say a correct answer. We'll all be out on the street waiting. Round one. The first movie is called Ex Machina. Matt.

All right. He's already making a ballsy play. What do you got, Matt? Hang on. You just made me think. You just made me second guess my first guess. Is it Dom O'Gleeson?

No. Fuck. There's no reason to be that cruel to those wet ones. That's a negative fucking point. I mean, I don't think Dunkin' Donuts would ever sponsor the show, but wet ones, they should come around. Because those really came in handy. Those came in much

more handy than the donuts. Alright, here's the second movie. Only Josh or Mark can respond. You're out for now, Matt, but you'll be back soon enough. Inside Llewyn Davis. Mark. Who? Mark. No, I mean, who do you think it is?

Oh, for a second, I did think it was me. Oscar Isaacs. Oscar Isaac? Yes. Because we all know it's not Mark Wahlberg. I thought it was too easy. Right? Well, that's why you don't want to jump in too fast,

because every movie has a lot of people in it, for the most part. So Mark gets a point, and he can get two more bonus points for guessing two more Oscar Isaac films. No help from the audience, please. Mark, what do you got? Drive.

That is correct. What was that independent movie that came out last year? Ex Machina? No. Star Wars. The Force Awakens. That's correct as well. Mark has three points. Say it, Matt.

Matt's so mad at himself. Maybe you need to throw a donut. Does that make you feel better? I think so. Go mezzanine level. Oh, I tried to get that right. Hang on. Here, take a munchkin. Green shirt.

Yes, it's coming at you. That went in the cup. I am so good at beer pong. Way to go, Matt. Now drink that fucking beer with that donut hole in it. Yeah. Just chug it. I don't get a point for that, but whatever.

Yeah, there's no points for accuracy and donut throwing. Plus, I don't think there was ever a point where you were trying to get it in the cup. Listen, semantics. That just happened. All right, here's the next round. I am the dude perfect of donuts. It's on the internet. It's a big YouTube thing.

X-Men First Class. Some of the audience went... And it made me and Matt laugh Because that's where we're at Impeccable timing Such good timing Alright, so the first movie is X-Men First Class Next one

No, you shut up I think I told that story earlier just to say No one respects me No, you shut up. I think I told that story earlier just to say no one respects me. I can't even get a five-year-old to not say stuff when I don't want him to. The next movie is Neighbors. I just have to take a second. Do you see what happens when you do something that's incredibly not funny in a room full of a thousand people?

Try to follow that impulse to be a person that doesn't do that. The listeners probably didn't even hear him. Nope. But that was way too soon to yell out, no, you shut up. Yeah. But that was a good show too, right? The Paul Tompkins show?

Yeah, it was a great show. That guy's just probably trying to do some viral marketing for a show that doesn't exist anymore. Tune in to Fuse in the past. Okay, here's the third title. Nobody wants to buzz in yet, I guess. No, I'd rather not. I already have a negative point, though. I can't risk it. I like the way you play. 28

weeks later. Meh. 28 weeks later Matt and the fourth title if anybody no it's me oh you said Matt I said Matt oh I thought you said man

like you so did I that was my inner monologue did I say is it is it James McAvoy who James McAvoy?

Who? James McAvoy? No? No. Okay, keep going. No. Keep going. No.

Guys, I'm sorry. Hang on. Yeah, I got to write down negative two for Matt. No, no, no. You don't have to. You don't have to do anything, Doug. It's your show. You can do whatever you feel like. I felt like writing down negative two.

Well, that's fair. Matt, what's your deal, dude? Are you pretending this is golf? Yeah. I was told the scores were like golf, and I just fucking eagled. The fourth title for one point is Insidious.

Oh, I definitely wouldn't have gotten this anyway. I don't feel bad. Nobody? Come on, pipe boy. I have no idea. Pipe boy? The answer, of course, is I even couldn't think of

her name earlier and then said it out loud. Rose Byrne. Is the one that was in all those movies. I liked her a lot in X-Men First Class and I guess she's in the new one, but I didn't see that much of it. I think the apocalypse has like 50 characters in it, and only one or two had showed up by the time I bailed.

All right. So far. Next round. Mark has three points. Matt has negative two. Josh is doing better than Matt. Second place. The first movie in this round is Inglourious Bastards.

That doesn't count. You guys can't yell out the names of the people up here and make me think that they threw their own voice into the crowd. The second movie is Prometheus. Mark. What do you got, Mark? Michael Fassbender. That's correct.

That brings you to four points, Mark. And to take this game down, all you got to do is you get two guesses to name one Fassbender movie that's in the top four on his IMDb page. Wrong. Steve Jobs? No. Okay. What the fuck else did this dude make? X-Men First Class? That's correct.

And then the... Oh, it's not really... It's not really a mic drop kind of... kind of moment. We're going to play another game and... Doug, in my life, everything's a mic drop moment. It was also one of the gentler mic drops

I've ever seen. Drop a mic like you've been there before. That's my fucking rule. He just respects the equipment of the Wilbur. As he should. And the fourth one for those that are curious and maybe don't have access to IMDb. X-Men Days of Future

Past. Yeah. There you go. And Mark may have figured it out. He may not have, but all of the people in the game today that I wrote down are featured in X-Men Apocalypse. And I wrote all this down before

I saw it because I was so excited that I was going to see it today. And you can't just bug into the next theater where it's going to start next because every other theater had it in 3D and I'm not fucking wearing 3D glasses for over two hours. So my... So my McAvoy guess wasn't so bad.

I will say that the ones that they have at this particular theater, the Boston Common, Lowe's, are the ones that are like sunglasses. Some theaters have these things that are just so heavy and cumbersome. So they have the good ones, but I don't think any of them are good. I don't think

it ever adds anything to the experience. Maybe they're cooking my Jack and Coke well done. That's what happened. They're really going to make sure it's almost burnt. Just this close to... Maybe we should order again.

Can we get a Jack and Coke? Here's the rule. When you want it really fast, you say rare. When you want it, you can take your time getting me my fucking drink, Donnie. I'll take it medium, medium rare. Well, why is it automatically Donnie who's getting you your drink? Because that's his newest privilege.

He gets to get you a drink? Yes. And how long did it take him to earn that privilege? Well, he cleaned the garage. AKA his house. So him and Jenny McCarthy live in your house? Yeah, we got a whole growing pains deal. It's like Mike Seaver. He's living above the fucking garage.

And Leonardo DiCaprio is an orphan that lives inside my living room. Alright, so congratulations on winning that game, Mark, and that means you get to go first in this next game, which is known as Last Man Stanton. Felt like maybe a record number of people.

Oh, donut toss. Oh, I just felt like throwing a donut. Okay. Well, just one more. There you go. One more. It's a good catch. That was a good catch.

What? You're just going to keep going? I really have stuff I want to do. He just ate that one. Matt, you're the only person I've ever seen throw things with love. You're a real gentle donut tosser, which used to mean homosexuality. I just love my hometown.

Hometown love, that's right. You're like the mom and the rookie. You're just floating it. Well, maybe if there's time, we'll get rid of every single one of these donuts. There's some really chocolatey ones there that I think also have something in the center. That's probably a really bad idea to throw

those. Boston cream. Boston cream? That's what those donuts are. There you go. The pie was invented at the Omni Parker house, which is a couple blocks down there, Doug. Boston cream pie. Home of the...

Boston cream pie. Home of the... Okay, so we're going to play one round of Last Man's Stand for all of the marbles. What's... Oh, there he goes. He gets his drink. Thank you so much for bringing Mr. Wahlberg his beverage. I thought you were like walking off or something.

How is it? Is it medium rare? There's extra protein in it. It's fucking great. So someone, a record number of people tweeted at me that they had the perfect Last Man Stanton name. A lot of people wrote to me and said the name I have isn't good at all. Pick me. Lots of different strategies being employed, but I always look for somebody that seems confident and knows what they're talking about. But you know, how can I know that just from one tweet? But I picked somebody and that's how it works. Where is D train 207? There's a couple different people screaming in different parts of the room.

That'd be a tricky way to get your suggestion in, is to pretend you're also that person. But I'm assuming the first manly woo over there is the actual D-Train. I thought it was down there. No, I think he's up top. Doug, I think he's up top. Doug, I think he's up top. Jump down so we can see you. It's definitely up there.

You're definitely him. What's your name again? No, your Twitter name. That's correct. I figured if someone was just jumping in, they might not remember it specifically. They'd fuck it up and I'd go, wrong! And then I'd throw a donut at them.

Doug, you were like the podcast version of LifeLock. Verify your identity. What's your Twitter handle? Boom, no one's your Twitter handle? Boom. No one's stealing his social security number. I just can't see much at all

other than the folks up front in this theater, so I just want to make sure the right person's getting picked. It's so hard to figure out who I'm going to fuck after this show.

That was a fast hand. That was real quick. That was quick. Aren't you happily married? I meant verbally. I don't know what that means. All right, so Dalton D-Train, he's going to give us, he's going to suggest an actor or actress.

I'll play along because that's how I like to do it. And we'll start with Mark. Then we'll go Matt, Josh, me. If you can't think of one, you're out. Except one time in this game, you can use your lifeline, which is the person or persons whose name tag you picked. So you can go to that once. And D-Train, tell us what we're working with.

Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. That's a good one. I swear 100% of the time when a person says to me, I've got a name that's never been used, it's been used. But Matt Damon is a good one. So let's go ahead and do it. Starting with Mark Wahlberg.

Name any Matt Damon movie. I'll wait until you guys shut the fuck up. Fuck you all. It's the Departed What'd you say? I told them to go Fuck themselves And then I said The title of the movie

Is the Departed Oh the Departed The Departed Yes Okay Your accent gets so thick When you're saying The name of a movie

Where you had a thick accent So when I'm in fucking LA It's like I could fucking be on Mystery Science Theater Masterpiece Whatever the fuck That shit's called Then I get here And I fucking be on Mystery Science Theater Masterpiece or whatever the fuck that shit's called. Then I get here and I fucking have a

couple drinks. I have three or four fights with rocks and then I'm fucking back in it, motherfucker. It just slips right in. Matt. Matt. Damon. Matt. School ties.

Okay. Shot in Lowell, Massachusetts. Josh, don't take mine. Josh? I'm going to go with Good Will Hunting. Motherfucker. God, he's been in so many great comedies, but I think the funniest movie he's been in is The Martian.

Back to you, Mark. I think the funniest movie he's ever been in is Stuck on You. Okay. Shot on Nantucket. The Bourne Identity. Oh, no. That's a can of worms right there. The Bourne Identity.

I forget the other ones. Just grab an adjective or something. I'll go Ocean's Eleven. Oh, okay. Oh, well, there's a can of worms right there. I mean, I don't like... I generally don't like to give Bourne ultimatums, but... Bourne ultimatum. Ocean's Twelve.

It works. Is he in the Bourne Supremacy why wouldn't he be what was the Jeremy Renner one called I don't know that was called Bourne Legacy thank you now I won't accidentally say it alright so let's just say

we've got through the Bourne movies what do you got Josh I'll do Ocean's 13 let's just say we've got through the Bourne movies. What do you got, Josh? I'll do Ocean 13. Yeah, let's get those off the table as well. Pulling them off. Let's get those over with. And let's go with The Rainmaker. Nice.

Mark. Rounders. Nice. Uh. Rounders. Nice. Check, check, check. I'm going to go with Dogma. Oh, shit, yeah. The Informant.

Whoa! Is there any punctuation in that title? Yes, there is, Josh. There's an exclamation point at the end. The Informant! Yeah, you got to say it very excitedly. Didn't really catch on with people, but I certainly yelled it when I bought my ticket.

Sir, stop yelling. Don't yell at me. Don't yell at me. Shit, shit, shit. I'm going to go with... I think he was... Don't, please. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Damn it.

Elysium. Yes, Elysium. Nice. Mark, that was great. I'll go New Canon. I don't give a fuck. I couldn't remember or spell that title. Matt. Fucking bro, Matt Damon.

What were you in? Don't forget about your lifeline. Don't guess something that's wrong when you got a lifeline. Okay. Hang on, guys. I'm just thinking of his gorgeous, gorgeous eyes. He's got beefy arms

it's a handsome guy and he is in some movies I'm going to name one of them Doug you like blew out school ties second movie in the game the rest of us might not have thought of that

I burned it shouldn't have burned it so early. Go to your lifeline. Because also going to lifelines helps you to jog your memory of other movies too. Joe and or Fred, I have two lifelines. Which of you has the correct answer? But did you get a lifeline from every

fucking donut person he grabbed? No, just the name tag people. What do you guys got? Do you have one? The Telly Mr. Ripley. That is worth a donut. For yourself? Nope, that was off.

That was off. And if I got chocolate on you, I have wet naps and I'm sorry. If I got ruined a shirt, you let me know. I'll buy a new one at the Macy's Men's or Ladies. Alright, Matt. Sit down.

Josh, was he in We Bought a Zoo? Yeah, he was. Was he in it? He was the fucking star! He was the zoo! He's the we of We Bought a Zoo. He's a title character. I don't know what you're yelling.

Oh, okay. They're yelling, good job, Josh. But it always scares me. I think you're yelling out titles. I got to go with, you know, his career has had some ups and downs. He's had to do some things that aren't as well known as his other movies. You guys might not know this one. Saving Private Ryan.

Mark. I could do Matt Damon and Mellie Turner movies all day, bro. Courage Under Fire. Yes. He was so skinny in that movie. Fuck. So fucking skinny. It's okay, Matt.

No, it's not okay, Doug. I'm going to lose everything. You're losing with dignity. I'm losing everything but weight. Hey, Josh and Matt, just remember, if either one of you end up winning, I let you.

Then you just get up and leave for a while. Oh, loud motorcycle going by. Or somebody defarted. Come on, Matt. I'm trying. Just picture that Matt Damon face doing stuff. I am, and it's gorgeous.

We've done a good job here, I think. Yeah. But the audience knows some, and I think I've got another one. You can't do TV, right? You can't. No TV, man. You can't plop a TV show.

Go on Doug Loves TV sometime. I would love to. Thank you for inviting me. No such thing. No such thing. Oh. You got to give up, man. I know.

He gives up. He's giving up. Somebody said, come on, Mud Crutch. Come up, man. I know. He gives up. He's giving up. Somebody said, come on, Mud Crutch. Come on, MC. Valiant effort, though, and everybody loves your donut tossing.

Josh. I got one. I'm good. He's good. He was in small part in Eurotrip. Yes.

Thinking you could just come in here and lay some fucking pipe like that? That's how I do it. That's how I do it. Stop yelling at us. I'm trying to think. Matt is putting on his new shirt, showing off the logo. Guys, do me a favor.

Go to www.metpipe.com. It's great. Check out everything they have to offer. If you want some Kohler, some Delta, all the best name brands are there. If you need some work done, you want to get your pipes ready for winter. I know it's May, but it happens. You call up my good friends, 1-800-MET-PIPE and... Hey, Matt, I gotta thank you real quick for giving me

the time I needed to think of a Matt Damon title. Promise land, motherfuckers! Mark? I got one. Oh, shit. Way too late. Hey, Pat. Oh, we're going to Pat. Do Pat it.

Adjustment Bureau. Very good. You're welcome. You know why I didn't think of that one? Because I call that movie Hat Squad. Josh, don't forget about your lifeline. I was calling on him. Josh and don't forget about your lifeline

I was calling on a pod you got one you got one Interstellar of course the second funniest movie after the Martian I'm going to go with Team America World Police.

Matt Damon is in it. You can't argue with that. They call him Matt Damon. He says, I'm Matt Damon. Mark. Is he in the sequel to Good Will Hunting? Is that a thing? That was fictionalized in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Gotcha

I think he might be out buddy I think he might be done I think I might have to let a normal person win one It is pretty sweet if Josh wins this thing You know what Josh? You're welcome You got one more just to rub it in Josh? I don't think I do.

You don't? No. I'm out. Yeah, I figured I'd win more. Who else did we miss? What else? Everybody yell at once. Holy shit.

Can we go one at a time, please? One at a time. Yeah, one at a time, you guys. We said stuck on you. True grit. True grit. True grit. Can I say the one I thought that chasing

Amy was the voice in Titan a that I knew that one green zone green zone here after the here after right

there's grim oh yeah mystic pizza. Wow. Deep pull. Wow. People love Matt Damon in these parts. Matt Damon went to Cambridge, Rindge, and Latin right across the Charles. Congratulations to Josh for being our winner today. Thank you. There you go, Potvin. Wear all that Metropolitan Pipe attire very proudly.

I hope you need a showerhead. Oh, Potvin. When I'm trying to talk, you guys won't shut the fuck up, and when I'm not near your microphone, you all get quiet. I was just so sad about losing, Doug. So badly. And then I was looking at the donuts.

I was letting people look at me. Don't watch me watch the donuts. Oh, now you're just... Oh, Jesus. I don't know what's happening now. Sliding towards the stage so they can pass them however they'd like. I think people sitting up front don't even want donuts. No one wanted donuts up front?

Oh, she wants one. You want a donut? You want to choose? Here, take that. There you go. Share with your table around. Do you guys like some munch choose? Here, take that. There you go. Share with your table around. Do you guys like some munchkins? Matt, you need to open a bakery. You're taking all the

fun out of it. You would be the greatest fucking baker. The little league teams would come in. You'd be like, what are you fucking kids? Hi, kids. What do you need? Time to make the donuts. He's dead. I can't wait till we make a movie together. I'll put you in a movie so fucking quick.

That's a good point. Do you have a line for us, Mark? You guys want to do some fucking lines? Okay, we're running out of time, so let's just do one. Yeah, make it sexy? What?

For the person who told me to make it sexy, I was born this way. Look good, feel good. You look good. You feel good. Holy shit, our baby is so ripped. I came out doing fucking sit-ups, bro. In the womb.

All right, here we go. But he did it. He kissed a woman that day. He kissed her long and hard, and we were banned from the pool forever. It is the fucking Sandlot! Sandlot! Josh does it again!

Holy shit! Followed by Mark Wahlberg's gentle mic drop. You should get that, you know, trademarked. Mark Wahlberg's gentle mic drop. Done. You just trademarked it. Where you don't damage the equipment, but you still get your point across. If you do a flare, look how fucking good this looks. For the listener at home, you should have bought a fucking ticket. I don't know what either of the shitheads are

on the back of these name tags, so when I say them, I'm hoping they're just references I don't get and that everyone will love it. Let's start with Josh, though. One more time, the name of your company is Metropolitan Pipe and Supply. And then...

Thank you. And now also because everybody does, I also have a podcast. You do? Yeah, I do. Fucking bury the lead. It's called Off the Wagon. We talk about sports mostly,

but then get into other shit as well. Are you drinking while you do it or something? Oh, we're definitely drinking. That's why it's called Off the Wagon? Yeah, yeah. And so, yeah. So if you search Off the Wagon, you can also follow us on Twitter at Wagonsports.

All right, geez, I'll do it. There you go. See, that wasn't for the wife up there. That wasn't money poorly spent. He got some promo for his podcast. That's right. Worked out great. What?

Lay that pipe? Lay that pipe. You should end every podcast by saying that. Lay that pipe. And remember, kids, lay that pipe. It can get you pretty far, trust me. Well, that'll be a good hashtag for the show when I tweet about it. Lay that pipe.

And what do you got to plug, Matt Myra? You can... Oh, I'm writing on the new season of Fameless, which is David Spade's prank show on TruTV. New season premieres in August. Nice. And the first episode of that season, I wrote this crazy prank where I convinced some poor girl

that the world was being invaded by aliens and she believed it. Which just means Trump's going to win. All right. And Mark Wahlberg, what's going on with you, buddy? Obviously, I love you, Dorchester. Secondly, you can check out seasons 8, 9, all the way up through 19 of Wahlburgers.

We've already fucking sold that. I got some great movies coming out. One about the oil tanker. One about the marathon here where we're going to fucking show some shit being done right in this fucking city where people save motherfuckers. here where we're going to fucking show some shit being done right in this fucking city where people save motherfuckers. And then, on the lighter side of things, June 10th,

come see me live at North Bar in Chicago. I'm going to be there, 8 o'clock, doing fucking shows and giving back to people by letting them look at me. You're welcome. That's a great idea. Just get people to pay a cover and come in and just look at you. Yeah, I'm basically doing the Shia LaBeouf thing

Except people want it That's probably what you also thought about Transformers Douglovesmovies.com For all my dates and deets And like I said I'm going to be in New York City On Monday and tickets for the October 8th Douglovesmovies here at the Wilbur Are on sale now

Get those tickets kids What? I said get those tickets kids Yeah get them kids I think they're all adults I don't know what that was It was more of my people Oh Josh

You gotta tell your people Shut the fuck up Okay Okay okay we got it Your support has been noted He won there's no reason to rub it in You saved 20 fucking kids from being uggos and this is what happens.

That's Matt's going to meet all the rest of the donuts on this stage because he's so sad he lost. But seriously, that's enough. What the fuck are you like? I don't care who it was. Just stop yelling shit out.

The show's over. One more time for Mark Wahlberg, Matt Myra, and Josh Brown. No, Matt. Matt, enough. Just leave him on the stage. Not near the people. Get your ass crack out of my face. You'd think we had two plumbers on the stage

from the size of that ass crack. As always. Like, it's so funny. You put them right by people and they're not even touching them. Got to get them near people who want them, I guess. No, don't eat donuts just because I'm forcing them on you. Here, I'll put them over here. People can walk up to the front of the stage after and grab them. That is a sad state of affairs when we have too many donuts to throw.

Like there's not enough time to throw all of them. Well, that's nice of you. She's passing them all around. All right. I just want to kick one of these hard so badly. No, no, no, no. No, because that could potentially hurt somebody.

As always, thanks you guys for being here. This was so much fun 93 north is a shithead Maybe I should have said that one second. And Jeremy Latour is a shithead. Yeah, I blew it. Play the theme. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky.

There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.