Doug Loves Movies - Matt Besser Guests

Episode Date: April 5, 2007

Doug welcomes The Upright Citizens Brigade's Matt Besser to the show to discuss dance movies, Hollywood premieres, and the art of improvising for film.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! Clapping right on cue. Welcome to Doug Benson's I Love Movies. Now coming to you every Friday. That's right, the new ones are going to air, start airing. I still call it airing, and that's not what they do.

But you can download new ones starting every Friday, so my guests and I can discuss the new films that are opening that very day in each podcast. Of course, this is Easter week, so some of the films from this show came out on Wednesday and Thursday, but you get the idea. It's going to be fine. I'm obsessed with reading the comments. ILM, as I like to call it,

gets on handheldcomedy.com, where you can get it. And since I can't actually respond on the site, because I would have to sign up or some shit, I'll just do it here. So someone who goes by Notorious, Notorious with a T on the end, maybe just a typo, was kind enough to point out another holiday-themed scary movie that I forgot to mention, New Year's Evil.

Yeah, that's a good one. I forget the ones that I said before because I'm a stoner and I also smoke a lot of pot. And Johnny Arthur, someone who goes by Johnny Arthur, one word, two names, in response to Nick Swartzen's no show last week, he said, That was a dick move from him, even if he was the only part of Click that didn't make me want to stab my eyes out with a toothpick, except for Kate Beckinsale, who made me want to stab her vagina out with my penis. If you know what I mean. I think I know exactly what you mean, President of the North American Society of Subtlety.

Nicely played. Speaking of hallowed institutions, my guest today is one of the founders of this very theater we are sitting in, and the UCB Theater in New York. Please welcome one of the four original members of the Upright Citizens Brigade,

Matt Besser, everybody. Let's hear it for him. Give it up. Yeah. I have a guitar with me. Yeah, he has a guitar, so that's why you heard that little extra pump and the applause.

Yeah, I've always wanted to do that. Come out and just hold it up, and people are like, yeah! Yeah! He's going to play! Because I don't know how to play. You're not going to play, though. No. Yeah, you just brought it up.

I set up a lot of expectations. To get that extra burst of enthusiasm. Yeah. You should have come out in a Patton Oswalt suit. Oh, yeah. That would have gone really crazy. On my knees, I guess. It's true.

Like Dorf on golf. Exactly. Dorf. Talk about good movies. Those weren true. Like Dorf on golf. Exactly. Dorf. Talk about good movies. Those weren't movies. They should have been. I always passed out from laughter early. I didn't know.

They're short. So, Matt Besser. Yes. What have you seen lately? Have you been to the motion pictures, either on TV or on a DVD or a plane? I saw Pan's Labyrinth. That's hard to say. You mean the attraction at Magic Mountain?

Or you mean the motion picture? That's an attraction? I sure hope it's going to be one. At some weird ass amusement park. You walk through a labyrinth and there's like fruit on a table and if you eat some of it a dude with hands on his eyes is going to fuck with you. That'd be an awesome ride.

I did eat a pot brownie. So maybe my opinions don't count. But it was pretty cool movie. Especially how it lures you in like, oh, it's kind of a kid fantasy. Oh, there's a fairy. And then also, bam, shot to the head. Fascist. Point blank range.

Back to little girl. Yeah, I still can't get past the knife, fascist. Point blank range. Back to little girl. Yeah, I still can't get past the knife in the mouth sequence. Yeah, there's so much rough violence. Really rough. And also, once you've got a knife in somebody's mouth, why did she then pull it sideways? You know what I mean? That just cuts his face.

Because that's the... His whole thing was about making uh taking dignity away from people and i think that kind of took it away from him that's what i just made him look ugly or yeah because he wasn't really that great looking to begin with was he no but he was confident and that brings a lot of he's kind of mexican that turns on the chicks apparently yeah the mother's like you don't understand understand. It's like, come on, Mom. You're hooking up with a fascist so we can get some chocolates and stockings, basically. Right? Hey, you know, you saw it with a pot brownie, so you have a deeper understanding.

I saw Take the Lead this week. Why? That's not in the theaters. Why? On HBO? I actually burned it on a DVD and took it to my trailer where I was working. So that shows a whole other level of commitment of watching it, I think. Why did you get so fired up about Take the Lead?

That's Antonio Banderas teaching kids how to be sexy? Teaching kids, teaching ghetto kids how to ballroom dance. They're like, no way, man. I bet he convinces them that it's pretty cool eventually. Pretty cool. Well, only if they can find a way to put their hip-hop beat Do it their way. in Lena Horne songs, basically.

That's how you trick people to do things for you. Have them think they're doing it their way. Yeah. And then you've got them on your highway. Yes. I was not high for this one, though. I was working. But I love dance movies, basically.

I've seen every dance movie. You can't name a dance movie that I have not seen. Except for Stomp the Ground, because that just came out. Stomp the Ground. That's a good one. Stomp the Dirt. Stomp the Yard. No, I'm talking about the parody of it that's already...

That'd be a great parody. Stomp that ass. Stomp the ground. We're really showing Stomp the Yard a thing or two. Changed it to ground. It's a pretty funny parody. That's cool. Yeah, I saw it.

All right, well, this has been a... Any questions about dance movies? I'll take them. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. I was going to try to think of one. Try to. And see if you've seen it. Challenge you. See the plot.

Now, but that doesn't... Does that flap over into cheerleader movies? Like, bring it on? They are of the... That's a subgenre, I think, or drumline is sort of that. Stick it. Oh, that's the new one, yeah, with Jim Nest. You've seen that yet?

I have not seen it. It's almost got Sam in the theater. Yeah, yeah, with Jim Mist. You've seen that yet? I have not seen it. It's almost got Sam in the theater. Yeah, yeah, Netflix it or whatever. Yeah, I won't go full fairy on seeing dance movies in the theater. I have to watch them by myself. I actually cry at the end. I think you do go full fairy when you're watching dance movies, but that's cool. Not in front of people.

You know, I will wear panties in front of my own mirror, but not in public. But I actually embarrassed my own self. I thought you meant full price when you said full ferry. And that I was being clever and switching it over to a gay ferry. No, I meant that. When you said, I don't see it in the theater, I don't go full ferry, I thought that meant you don't pay full price to see that shit. You meant you don't go out in public to see that shit. i like to turn things into slang by adding a y at the end

i'm not gonna use this mic here tonight i love this audience here tonight boy uh well there's some new movies that are out in theaters because it's Easter week, and so some stuff came out already. Can I say something about Blades of Glory? Please say something about it. Is that on the list? It's out.

I just saw it last night. Okay. Did you like it? So say something about it. I loved it. Look at your eyes. I think. I feel that Will Ferrell,

I mean, he's just pretty funny no matter what he does, right? Like in that Napoleon Dynamite guy, he was Napoleon Dynamite on ice, right?

Right. That must have been funny. So you haven't seen it? Amy and Will were funny. No, this is the thing. I went to see the premiere. You know, I'm not bragging either.

I've only seen like six premieres and but the guitar goes with him and everyone if you're not a star do not go to premiere if you're not in the movie there's no reason because you feel insanely unspecial oh god you feel like the biggest piece of shit i felt like i was trying to con me when we went in the whole time you go up to this table you know will call and i'm like a matt besser and they're looking at me like sure you know you don't know amy puller that's bullshit and they finally find me and i'm like this table is for will ferrell and will arnett that's why it's called will call so then oh so then they uh called will call so then oh so then they uh they just give you a hard time so you left no no i got up i got my ticket i'm with my girlfriend and i look in there's only one ticket i'm like oh

fucking great so i go back and i'm like you know i got a plus one right and they're like oh well for that you gotta go talk to that guy in the white shirt you know and i'm getting this other line and people meanwhile are going move on on. You can't stand here. They're yelling at people. And I get there. I finally get up to this guy. And he's like, huh, let me see. And this woman comes up and goes, wait a minute.

You're Matt Besser? And I'm like, yeah. And I'm thinking she's going to go, I got this taken care of. Amy Poehler, just call me. No problem. And she's like, well, I just got a call from a publicist. I'm like, I'm looking at Danielle, my girlfriend. Like, yeah, this is going to be no problem.

And the publicist says, you definitely don't have a plus one. I'm like, what? You're getting calls telling you I don't have things? There's a list of people that aren't going to come in. You know, meanwhile, you know, you know, I know Kate Flannery in the office and she's coming in with the whole office crowd with the red carpet. And people go, yeah, Kate. I'm like, see, I can't even get in here through the back door.

You should have come with your whole crossballs gang. Yeah, people really would have recognized that. If you're like a posse of crossballs people, then they might have been like, cut right this way. Yeah, you're right. You are right about the premieres, though. It is kind of a funky thing, which has kind of led to now, even when when you're attending a premiere it's got to be a star-studded movie because if it's just a movie with one or two famous leads and like one of them doesn't come because he's nicholas cage and he's crazy then you're like then you're just sitting there looking around and there's

these just random celebrities that are big enough to get invited but low enough to say okay right come in. It's like Ryan Seacrest. If I'd have been there, I'd have been like, hey, Bester's here. That's cool. But you know what I mean? Yeah, Ryan Seacrest. I don't think he goes to anything because he's very busy.

Yeah, that's true. You can't turn on something without hearing his voice. But you're saying there's celebrities that aren't necessarily in the movie. They're just recognizable. They're just there. They're just red carpet people. You know, the girls that wear the crazy dresses so they get in Fashion Police and Us Weekly.

And then people that are actually in the movie. So that's how I decide if I want to go to a premiere. It's got a lot of cool people in it. And those people across the street always amaze me. It's like packed with people. That's like a Wes Craven movie,

the people across the street. The People Across the Street. The People Across the Street. What will they yell? What's on their placards? Why are they staying across the street? They're so well behaved. Why don't they break free? What if the barriers came down?

This summer. Regular people got into a premiere. Holy shit. Speaking of trailers, though, when does Across the Universe come out? Oh, I haven't seen the trailer for that yet. It's like a weird-ass musical. It's all Beatles songs.

Yeah, but it took me a while to figure that out because I hadn't heard about it when I saw the trailer. So a Beatles song opens up the trailer, obviously. And I'm like, oh, this is just the Beatles song that's scoring the trailer. Yeah. And then all of a sudden they cut to the, you know, some dialogue. And then someone's like, hey, Jude, you know, here comes the sun.

Don't go talk to that fool on the hill. You know, I'm like, what the fuck? There's another Beatles song. Oh, Mr. Mustard. Someone let a hole in the sky where the sun is in. Really? All the dialogue is just dropping lyrics and titles of Beatles songs? The lead is Jude, I guess.

He's fucking Eleanor Rigby or something. I don't know. They tried that once already with that Sgt. Pepper's thing. It was George Burns. That had Danny in it. I'm fixing a hole. I had a ring. It's in.

Don't sing too much. We don't want to have to pay for it. Okay. Okay. No, fuck it. Beat it. Let's sing the most expensive song ever They just randomly throw in a Michael Jackson song

He owns all the Beatles songs He can declare his own songs Beatles songs Now I'm beat It is a Beatles song Henceforth and forever I love you, Heather Mills. You're my new wife.

You keep showing them that you have a leg up on the competition. Got a groan in the audience on that one, so I know it's time to move on. Let me ask you about, this is the part of the show where I talk about movies the guest has been in and will be in. This will be a short section. Because you're working on a... I got... There's a few here. I got...

But the first thing I want to talk about is you're currently shooting a movie called Walk Hard. Yes, that's why I have my guitar with me. It's a parody of biopics like Walk the Line and... Ray. Ray. Ray. Was there ever one with the word hard in it? In the title?

Like it took two and smashed them together? That would have been good. But I can't think of one. Walk Ray would have been not a great title. Ray Hard. That wouldn't work. Anything with hard is pretty funny. But this is a funny, it is funny. I'm not just saying that because I'm in it.

There's a sticker for it on the back of your guitar. They gave me this guitar. Oh, wow. The production. But I play the guitarist in Dewey Cox's band, which is John C. Reilly. He's the lead. And that dude can sing, man. Yeah, he's good.

That dude can sing. Mr. Cellophane in that Chicago movie. Yeah, and not just can he sing, but he can do, you know, he can sing, like, in different ways. Like, he nails a Johnny Cash song, and he does a Roy Orbison kind of song. He does a Bob Dylan song. You know, he nails each style just in both a funny way, but also you're like, hey, you know what?

This is a pretty good song. It's like character actor singing. He can do it. He's an amazing actor. I love that guy did you have you smoked pot with him yet i have not i've i always save that till the end or they might think i'm high during the production if they know how good i am at smoking pot right yeah i wait no that's smart yeah what about him you think um i don't think he could get high. He has so much to do during this. I don't think he is.

Is it sort of in the style of like a Talladega Nights or Anchorman where people do alternate takes of everything? Like they do different versions of the jokes? Yeah, we actually did a scene today where, because I don't have that many lines in the movie when it comes down to it. I'm doing a lot of, Dewe Dewey, you gotta go on. It's your turn to go on. You know,

I got a lot of those kinds of lines, but, uh, this was a good scene where there was jokes and back and forth. And that's what we did. You do the, you do what's written first and then you, then you do more takes where,

where you improvise and he can go, man. I mean, he's not a, you know, an official improviser, I guess, but, um, he did a scene with John Michael Higg man. I mean, he's not an official improviser, I guess. But he did a scene with John Michael Higgins. You know that guy?

Yeah, he's great in all those Christopher Guest movies. They just did a scene where they improvised. Yeah, they improvised for like 10 minutes one time straight. And I'm like, all that could be in the movie. But that's the shame with those type movies like Talladega Nights. I was in Talladega Nights and Anchorman, as a matter of fact, on the editing room floor is where you might have seen me if you were an editor of that movie.

But otherwise, you didn't see me. Brooms, love your work. Yeah, exactly. But because those movies, the first draft are usually like, no kidding, three and a half hours long. And it's funny. And that's why DVDs are good, I guess, with these kind of movies. Yeah, but you get like every alternate line that Will Ferrell said.

You don't get to see all the gold that like, you know, all the supporting players came up with. Like me. All you guys. I was like, I thought McBrayer was like sadly underutilized in Talladega Nights. But at least he was in it. He did better than you. Yeah, that's true. When the script is 90 pages long and you improvise,

something's got to get cut. Yeah, it's got to be on point and on story or on the star. Well, that's the problem. That's why I almost maybe like Anchorman better than Talladega Nights because I don't give a crap about the story usually frankly a lot of people crap shit i'll say it i don't give a shit about the story usually i'd much rather them well the story is always such a phony excuse for a story you know comedies always yeah like oh they're gonna win the big competition it Yeah, it's a competition

half the time. Who gives a shit? Oh, and there's an evil character that's going to try and stop them. And there's a love interest and we know. And you just know

and it's like, all right, I just want them to go, okay, next. All jokes. Let's just get into the jokes now. But I have to say, that was my reaction

to Blades of Glory is it's like, it's 86 minutes long and there is a story but it's like, it's 90% jokes and 10% Craig T. Nelson. Who, I'm not saying he's not funny, but he commits to a character that doesn't get to say anything funny,

but has to always be like, okay, you guys, you're going to be the first two male skaters together, and now we're going to go practice. Like he's always the one pointing out where the story's headed and what's about to happen. And then Will Ferrell could just say something retarded. Yeah. And John Eder could make that face. I'm kind of that grease and walk hard to be honest. And also, fucking figure skating is so much funnier

than cars going around a track. You know what I mean? That's very true. He said funny things in the car, but a car wiping out and all that, there wasn't that much funny things you can do with the actual act of racing a car. But the act of skating,

they're doing so many silly things the whole time that it just looks funny that they're both so into skating, the faces that they're making. And the effect of morphing them onto real skaters looks awesome. And there's one really violent scene in the movie. It's good. I liked it. So you did like it.

Until I think about it for a while. And then I'll be like everybody else, like, those movies, they don't even try. They just fuck around all day and then call it a movie. But I like this one a lot. This is my favorite of the Will Ferrell goofy movies so far. Really?

But also, I just saw it yesterday, you know. Really? Okay. But I was really tickled by it. I was really giggling the whole time and i thought and i felt john heater since napoleon dynamite has given us nothing he's there's no other shades to that he's giving us he's just doing the same thing just making that face but in this movie i really liked it because it's just it's it's a perfect role for him like will it's kind of fun that will ferrell Has a character That's always around So he gets to be

He's kind of the funnier Of the two But the other one's Making a stupid face Right You know So they go They compliment each other

Nicely Neither one of those Characters could probably Be the sole character Of the movie Oh really And Will and Amy Are really funny

Yeah I saw a clip And lots of other people Lots of other people You know roll in And say something funny And then leave and it's pretty good I wish I kind of like it more you've really talked me off of it really I think because it's so funny when you first asked me that's such a comedian trap

like have you seen blades of glory yet yeah I was great oh really I was against this dude you know I mean you always get like fall into those traps of like you don't know which way they're thinking about it when how many comedy movies per year do you think you really like in the last five years this one might be the one for me this year like one i might have fucking blown it and there might be something funnier later in the year what was your what was your favorite last year i'm sure this was another podcast mine was idiocracy i loved that movie i like idiocracy i finally caught up with it on a plane and i liked it a lot i like the commitment to the uh premise but i also thought that i got a little tired of them just all being dumb all the time really i never i mean that's my biggest gripe with some

of these some of these comedies that feature all the guys that are popular comics now is that every character is stupid you know so it's like like that's what i like about the the the american version of the office is it's kind of evolved into in a strange way carell is the least stupid and weird next to you know pam and jim like everyone else is such an oddball character that he's kind of like become a little less uh of a buffoon like he's not the major buffoon that ricky gervais was he's like a buffoon that's actually kind of able to work with all these people and you know like like he's smarter than other characters at moments so you know ricky gervais is always always the fucking dumbest guy in the room doing the dumbest thing you know he never has a moment

of clarity where like where he like ed helms his character seems a lot dumber than corral's character so it's fun to see that you know i i don't i agree about the dumb movies it's like it seems like everything's about being dumb that's more like a 10-year trend yeah no it's been going a while and it's just like that every character's stupid like but i-year trend. Yeah. No, it's been going a while, and it's just like every character's stupid. But I thought Idiocracy was a comment on that, too, wasn't it? Yeah, it totally was. It was, but it's still like you just – I started to feel Luke Wilson's frustration. It's like I can't fucking talk to these people who are so ridiculously stupid.

It's kind of like frustrating to know that our lives are kind of like that right now. You know, that it's gotten to a point where people don't know what the hell you're talking about half the time. I didn't even like him much up until that movie, actually. It turned you around on Luke Wilson? It did. Speaking of people who appear in Blades of Glory, he shows up, and the audience is like, ah, they get all excited when he shows up.

Well, no shit. He was probably on the set every day, hanging out. Maybe I'd put this blazer on and be a sex guidance counselor. I think we're out of time, man. This has gone out of control. I wanted to ask you about Wild Girls Gone. Is that like a cross between Girls Gone Wild and Without a Trace? You know what?

Yeah. That's a pretty good description of it. Oh, okay. That sounds good to me. As long as you get enough of the wild girl before she disappears. If it starts off with her gone, then I'm... That's what I hate, too, is these R-rated movies with hardly any nudity. Oh, there was a big nude scene in the Walk Hard scene.

I was in an orgy scene in Walk Hard. See, now we're talking. Now we're talking. But they might push out and for the pg-13 i know we did different takes it was funny it was like all right this is the underwear take now this is the topless take and i was like oh topless take you know that's gonna be it even i was like whoa what's going on here? Dildo take Donkey take Is that a donkey?

You know what? There was a giraffe Oh, that was my donkey That was the man in a donkey costume Oh, shit So that's gonna When's that coming out? In our portrayal of the 50s orgy

Women shave it all off Oh, when's that coming out? In our portrayal of the 50s orgy, women shave it all off. Oh, they're all totally Brazilian? Yeah, a lot of them. In the 50s? Yeah, the audience is going to be uncomfortable with that. It was an unknown trend. Sorry, ladies. I think they're more uncomfortable with the 50s than being completely shaved.

It's like, what do we know about that? Long before our time. I always love that when people are like, you mentioned a movie to somebody. Did you ever see this? Oh, that came out before I was born. You can't see it. Off limits. No good to you.

Speaking of idiots, is that in black and white? I don't like black and white. I don't want to watch Schindler's List. Wait. There's something red. Yeah. I like it kind of.

Look at that flame. Thank God that little girl's got a colored coat on. I was really finding this bleak. Oh, Stephen, you found some hope. Colored coats on children. That was the Jews' problem. Not enough color. God, that's just so drab with everything so gray.

Did the sun ever come out there? I didn't see it once in that movie. With their attitude, no. My favorite Mad Besser role was in Junebug. Really? Well, not only did I like your work, but I enjoyed reading the end credits

because you played Scout who goes in and Jerry Minor is listed in the credit as Scout who stays outside. That's pretty much it. I love when they describe the characters that way but in your case, it's practically like that's all you do in the scene is you just say, I'm not going in.

I mean, you say, I'm going in and Jerry says, I'm going to stay out here and then you go in and Jerry doesn't. And we improvised. That was a case of Phil Morris did that, who also directed first season of UCB. And he had us improvise for a whole day. We're driving around in the car, doing all this funny improv. And I was like, this doesn't have much to do with the plot, all this stuff we're seeing.

This isn't going to be in the movie. Amy Adams isn't in the car with us. No. That's the trick to being in the movie movie is never letting go of the lead character in your scene so like handcuffs being cuffed to the lead character would be good that worked for

what's his name most deaf in that Bruce Willis movie what was it called 13 blocks I didn't see that that was on HBO the other day. And it's not a bad movie, but I just can't get past most devs' choice that he makes. You know, he's got like a silly voice. He sounds like a cartoon character.

And after a while, you're supposed to be three-dimensional. You know, he's supposed to be like a real human being. And real human beings do talk that way. But in this case, it just too too weird for that that's the defense that's the defense for every character i've ever done in the sketches there's a guy new york in washington square who talks like this and then but then it's somehow unbelievable that someone talks like that you got to see the genuine guy. But then there's Chris Tucker, you know. You hear the words coming out of my mouth! You're like, all right, that's pretty funny.

I don't mind that. I think most people would agree that Chris Tucker's portions of the movie The Fifth Element is the single most grating thing that's ever happened in a motion picture. A choice was made there by the director and by Chris Tucker, and it just, it's a total misfire. Totally ruins what could have been just okay.

So we normally play the Leonard Maltin game at the end, but we've run long on time because this has actually been really, really fun talking to you. I mean, not that it's not fun talking to the other guests and then we get to the game, but it just didn't work out this time. I wouldn't have done well anyway. You don't think so? I'm one of those fans that, like, for instance, I'm really into sci-fi, like whatever, Star Trek or whatever.

But, like, people say, yeah, don't you like Patrick Stewart? And I'm like, who's that? Like, I never care. I've never cared who the actors are. Right. It's like, you know, that's Captain Picard. I don't care that, you know, you like's like you know that's that's the captain that's captain picard i don't care that you know you like michael dorn who's that i like wharf you know i don't it breaks the reality for me to know that there are actors involved i think of sci-fi as a

documentary of the future basically that's all i need to know it as. I could, oh, maybe Suzy Park is in Battlestar Galactica? Is that her name? I only think I remember her name because she's cute. Is that Starbuck or the six? It's something Park. Oh, she's Boomer. My guess next week will know. See, I love Battlestar, but I don't know any of those actors' names.

The one lady who played, she was in Dances with Wolves as a lady who has orgasms with beauty shop feathered hair she had. Catherine McCormick or something like that? I can't remember. Oh, McDonald. O'Donnell. Wow, it's like we're playing Leonard Maltin without even picking up the book. Sorry.

Just start trying to name people that are in things. If I'm on again, if you're going to do it, you should do a really obvious movie and have fun with how could it possibly be that I can't get it. All right, let me try one. Burgess Meredith. Burt Young. Okay, Batman. No, Talia Shire it's not Batman

Sylvester Stallone Rocky yay see you next time thanks guys until next time this is Doug Benson saying Willem Dafoe is a shithead now it's time for Doug to watch another until next time this is Doug Benson saying Willem Dafoe is a shithead