Doug Loves Movies - Matt Besser, Kumail Nanjiani, and Shane Mauss Guest

Episode Date: March 24, 2015

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes comics Matt Besser, Kumail Nanjiani, and Shane Mauss to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet baby sticky seeds With 50 as in 5 or hurdles in his feet There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Like, how, why are you guys so much better at it

than people on Tuesday night, for instance? Like, what's the difference between Sunday afternoon and Tuesday night? Everybody's answering quietly. Such a polite group. We're going to be doing these here on a lot of Sundays coming up, so I hope you guys come back.

Next Sunday being one of them, but also I think we're going to do one here on Easter Sunday. Do people have things they have to do on Easter Sunday? Like, it just seems like eggs. You do some sort of egg thing in the morning,

maybe eat them or look for them. Both. And then you're done, right? Church, I guess? Alright. Let's talk about right now. We're coming to you once again from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics.

I already said that we'll be here next week. Today is March 22nd and I'd like to see your name tags, Los Angeles. I also think those are going to be quite impressive, and I am accurately correct. Lots of good ones. What's that helmet over there? My name's Rudy.

Your name's Rudy, and it's a football helmet, so Rudy. I like it. I'm afraid, though, just like Rudy, you're going to spend the whole show on the bench. Rudy the Rabbit, what was the last movie that you saw? Gone Girl. Gone Girl. So, you haven't been to the cinema in a while.

Did you like it? Only the last 20 minutes. Last 20 minutes. So that last 20 minutes would be right. It would start when she's covered in blood. And then the rest of it. All right. That's cool.

We've got an ID in the front row. What's that about? You're just holding up your ID? It's the best I can do. It's the best I can do. It's the best you can do. Well, you know what? That's the great thing about my guests is they'll pick the worst name tag as easily as they'll pick the best one.

So have a shot, buddy. What's your name? I'm Lawrence. Lawrence. And what's the last movie you saw, Lawrence? Casablanca. Casablanca. So it's been a real long time since Lawrence has been to the cinema It hasn't been since the 40s Did you like it?

It was good It was your first time seeing it? Third or fourth So you already knew you liked it That's what happens to me I'll find something like a Casablanca. I know Casablanca gave me a good nice feeling at the end

like I'm glad I saw that but it didn't make me go I want to see that over and over. I don't want to see it three or four times. But no offense to you. I mean I've seen some garbage a lot of times. But I'm just saying there's something about when you like something, when you just like a movie and you like

how it's all put together and you don't even the problems you have with it you entertain yourself with them. Then you can just watch stuff over and over again. Good story, Doug. Jesus. Jesus. Charlotte, North Carolina

Wednesday night Stand up with a special guest And then if you bring name tags Which you always do there To the comedy zone We'll play a game at the end of the show In Portland, Oregon You get four stand up shows at Helium Comedy Club

It's a gas On April 3rd and 4th. Now it's time for Tree Relief, tweets about movies. Past and future, Douglas Movies guest Kumail Nanjiani, who goes by Kumail N. on Twitter, tweeted I want to make a movie where two people

who seem to have nothing in common meet and then go their separate ways because they have nothing in common. This has been a tweet relief. Nothing in common edition. 1,700 retweets on that one he's gotten. Yeah, that's impressive. I was like, that's a good one.

He's got so many retweets. Athens, Georgia. Georgia Theater, April 9th. Let's do this. Douglovesmovies.com for all my stuff. The prize bag, it's back, you guys. They sent me another crate. I'm going to give one away

until I don't have them anymore. And I don't know how to discourage them from doing that again. But I also don't know how to get it out of this bag. This bag turned into a puzzle. Shmovie! The board game of insane fun. It's one of those board games, like,

I appreciate that a lot of people love playing this sort of game but to me it's just sort of like the game is just going you make everything up you do everything we just sit here be a construct that you paid for you know what I mean like I bet you Schmovie

if you saw the instructions you could, I bet you Schmovie, if you saw the instructions, you could just make your own Schmovie. Shh, don't tell Schmovie. We got a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt. We got another shirt from one of the panelists today. And what does this shirt say on it? Oh, this is fun. My friend Jason at 101X in Austin, Texas

gave me a bunch of movie-related swag that they get at the station, and this is a run-all-night T-shirt. I've got to run all night. I've never really attempted a Liam Neeson before, and won't again. Let's pretend that was my Ed Harris. He's in that, right?

He's chasing him all night, right? All right, so, did I say Douglas Moody's T-shirt? So all that stuff, plus who knows what else is going to be coming out here, is going to be somebody's today. Please give a big warm welcome to three guests who I dare say are regulars on the program. Let's hear it for Matt Besser, Shane Moss, and Kumail Nanjiani.

Hey, everybody. Hello. Hello. Hi. Matt Besser's here, you guys, with... In the green room, he room he was damn i forgot to bring something but he just whispered that he's got something i thought of a way to have something okay what's your what are you going to put in the prize bag um i'm gonna put a hashtag on an improper humans business card that if they want their suggestion made into a scene using that hashtag,

I'll make sure it happens. Is that any kind of cool thing? I don't know. I think that's a good price. It's like a guarantee, right? Improv for humans fans probably inundate you with suggestions that you have to ignore because you can only use one whenever you ask. Exactly.

I get 100 a show, but with this magic hashtag, straight to the front of the line for a suggestion. Guys, Calm down. I love it. So what do we have to put in the bag? A business card. You're going to put that together? No, I got it. Okay. Oh, there it is.

You have one business card in your back pocket? One prepared one, motherfucker. I got three in my back pocket. I'm almost embarrassed to have a business card. Like the people you just use. Does it say the word raconteur on it anywhere? Troubadour.

Okay. All right. So they just use the hashtag that's on here. Yeah. That's not that clever a hashtag. We shouldn't say it out loud. Otherwise anybody could do it. Okay, I won't say it out loud.

That's Kumail Nanjiani, everybody, who contributed a t-shirt for his Indoor Kids podcast. Who do you do that podcast with? My wife.

My wife! Please don't make fun of my wife. I love her. No, don't do that. She's my wife. It's my wife! No! She's just the love of my wife.

My life! Wait, what? You tricked me. X-Files files as well. Yes. Is another thing you've got. I'm just going to talk about your podcast. Who cares that you're in feature films and television shows and HBO?

That's not TV. When does Silicon Valley come back? Who do you host the X-Files with? I just do it myself. Do you watch the X-Files? I did a long time ago when it was on. You're in. You're going to be a guest.

Burn. He's making everybody, it's like me and the weed thing. If somebody smokes weed, I ask them to be on my show. If someone's watched X-Files, you're in. It's hard. I'm doing a show about a show from 20 years ago, going through every single episode. Someone going, oh, God.

I remember one time I was just listening to one for content, and I was 20 minutes in, and then I left the car, and I came back in, and I hit play, and I was like, what the fuck am I doing? I, like, turned red from embarrassment at my own actions.

It is a show, though, if you're a certain, above a certain age, you should have watched that show. You probably wouldn't like that kind of person anyway if they didn't watch that show. Is that not fair to say? That's a fair point. That's a very good point. Your people. Yeah. So I'm getting my people to sit in my garage and

talk about a show from 20 years ago. What am I doing? Everything still gets compared to it, though. Every time they do a show on TV that's anything at all like it, it gets a little credit. Well, I think it changed the landscape of television, specifically

sci-fi on TV. There would be no Lost without the X-Files. And now they're, I think they're going to announce they're going to bring it back. They're going to do more X-Files. What? Yeah. Yeah. They're going to do a X-Files. What? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. They're going to do a miniseries. You sound excited. I don't believe you. Why would you not

believe me? I'm more scully than Mulder on this one. I think they changed the way that cops hold a gun and a flashlight at the same time. Is that fair? I think that's right. I think all the forensic

stuff that CSI and all do, that's all from the X-Files. The way they hold flashlights. I wonder if police academies watch the X-Files. You know what? That's the best way to do that. Yeah, the cast of Police Academy, watch that.

And Shane Moss is here, everybody. He brought a bag for the bag. Yeah. I got that bag for my mom. It's from IGA

from like 20 years ago. What's IGA? It's a grocery store that no longer exists, really. You have a podcast about it, right? Yeah, I do. I hear they're reopening that grocery store that no longer exists, really. You have a podcast about it, right? Yeah, I do. I hear they're reopening that grocery store.

One person in the audience knows an IGA. Where are you from? Maynardville, Tennessee. Oh, okay. I'm from Wisconsin. I'm there as well. Piggly Wiggly. Piggly Wiggly, anybody?

I got to stop and make water. That's my first CD. I just, I didn't have much, so there's that. I have a third one coming out soon. Oh, that's great. No one buys CDs anymore. Whoever wins this prize bag is gonna make a friend tonight.

For life. Let's both go home and listen to it on separate devices. I almost brought in, and this is a real idea that I had today. I was just talking to Kamail backstage. I had a vacuum attached to a hole in my foot that I no longer need. I feel like you guys have no questions about this. It's from a surgery. No, no, please don't.

I don't want to. Collected juice out of my foot. No, Shane. I don't want to hear it again. And I considered bringing it in a canister to give away my foot juice. So instead you got. Everybody cut foot juice. Foot juice.

Pick off your Sunday shoes. I have a question. Foot juice. Pick off your Sunday shoes. I have a question. Please, disease. You could clone me with it. Holy pants on my knees. Why are you keeping a canister of your foot juice around? The garbage. I was going to have to pull out all the garbage

and then bring it. It was just a passing thought that I had. You've hit rock bottom when you're putting your own foot juice out of the garbage to give away as a prize. No, no. It was in the garbage. Then I had to fish it out to give away as a prize.

I didn't put it in the garbage as a prize. No, no. Just to be clear. That reminds right, right. I didn't put it in the garbage as a prize. No, no. Just to be clear. That reminds me, I'm interrupting Footloose at the Belcourt Theater in Nashville, Tennessee on April... I always get the date wrong on this one. It's around the 15th or 16th, something like that. Yeah. 15th, I think it's the 15th

yeah somebody look it up it's not above the 31st anyway what's this somebody texted me what I know insanity

don't they know I'm doing a show I just got back from this bag that I brought Insanity. Don't they know I'm doing a show? I just got back from this bag that I brought. So you've got a double bag situation tonight if you win. I brought this bag back from South by Southwest where I had a marvelous time and saw many films. And Matt Besser was there. I was. I missed you.

When I got that same bag, like you get your bags and they send you to the bag line, right? And was I a fool when I got my bag that looked in the bag for other stuff and there was just another bag and that's all? And I was just way disappointed. There wasn't the big thick catalog. Yeah, the catalogs, but no, you know, chocolate bars. No, they used to be

chock full of stuff. Yeah. And some just real random shit, but like, you're right, this time it's just there's nothing in them. I like now comedy festivals

are trying to be cool and they'll put like condoms in the bag, like, ooh, fuck people, comedians. Comedians, raw dog, everybody knows. Yeah.

We don't use condoms. And you've got a baby to prove it. Amen, brother. And we're here on out on the back of Bax. Skeet on Bax. Oh, no. What's wrong with that?

I don't like the sound of it. Or the visual. Not great. Doug, what was good at South Bend that you saw? Well, I enjoyed several films. The most recent one that I saw, though, the last one I saw yesterday was a movie

called Rolling Papers. And it's all... It doesn't sound like a movie you'd be interested in. It's all about how Colorado, how the first year has gone of legalization. And it's a documentary

about how nothing bad happened and only good things happened. I mean, bad things happened in terms of like, there's already politicians there that want to try to turn it around and stuff like that, but. Yeah, a lot of white dudes with dreadlocks are out of business.

They didn't get a job in the dispensaries? No. No. You have to be a doctor. Oh, that's right. Now, that's crazy talk. What do you where'd you get that information? Just, I asked my dad. I wish that you did have to be like, okay, so you go to a dispensary.

There's only one question to ask a dispensary as far as I'm concerned. Is it sativa or is it indica? I don't know. The price tells me everything else about it that I need to know about any other product how good it is right and they are so vague on that one question they'll you'll go is this indica or sativa and they'll go well i'm pretty sure and as soon as someone says pretty sure then imagine yourself in a pharmacy asking a question about some medicine. Well, I'm pretty sure. You'd be like, you're pretty sure? I want you to be positive. I'm pretty sure it's sativa.

What's the difference between sativa and indica? Oh my god. I don't know the difference. Sativa up, indica coma, indica couch, down. See? Those are the full names for those things? Yeah. Sativ up in da coma in da couch down see those are the full names

for those things yeah it's a memory device you're the only Camille's the only one who hasn't been on Getting Doug With High where we discuss

that stuff here we're gonna talk about movies so Rolling Papers was good I liked it yeah it was a great thing

to decide to do a documentary about because you know like they show that first day, the lines to get into the places to buy weed. It was like January 1st, so people got up early in the morning on a snowy, cold day and stood in line just to be the first people to buy legal weed. I want the pot watch.

You wear pot on your wrist. What? Like Apple? All right. Sorry. What was the last movie that you saw, Kumail? I watched a movie last night. It's not a new movie, but it's a movie called Headhunters.

It's on Netflix. It's like Dutch and Norwegian. It's about an art thief. It's just like a thriller. It's fucking awesome, Headhunters. It's got Jimmy Lannister from Game of Thrones in it. He doesn't speak in English at all, which is very impressive.

One of the most handsome men I've ever seen also the movie's really good alright Headhunters it's an art thief but it's interesting because it just goes so many different weird places but it's just like a thriller it's like an action movie

is it better than Casablanca? huh he compares all movies to Casablanca? Huh. He compares all movies to Casablanca. Such a random question. It's better because it's in color. Casablanca is black and white. There you go.

Yeah, that's a standard by which all films should be judged. Whoa, hey. Humphrey Bogart is sitting back there. I can't do a Humphrey Bogart. Whoa. Dude. Humphrey Bogart is sitting back there. I can't do a Humphrey Bogart. Whoa. Dude. Humphrey Bogart. All right, let's play a quick round of your favorite movie that didn't have to be in black and white,

but they chose it for artistic reasons. I go with Young Frankenstein. Okay. Ooh, that's a good one. Yeah, what's yours, Matt? Oh, fuck. You're out. Kumail. Broadway Danny Rose? yours, Matt? Oh, fuck. You're out. Kumail.

Broadway Danny Rose? Yeah, yeah, that was good. He went a little nuts with the black and white for a while there, of course. Oh, Dead Man, Men Don't Wear Plant? Wasn't that one? Yes, it was. Oh, yes. Dr. Strangelove.

Yeah, that could have been in color, right? Yeah. Yeah. Why not? No, they were making color movies at that point. It was a choice. The first part of Wizard of Oz should have been in color. That was bullshit how they cheaped out on the first part.

I thought that I had a bad VHS of it when I was a kid. Really. And I was like, someday when I have money, I'll buy one that's in full color. I was like, it works well. As soon as she opens the door, it's in color. So it kind of works, but mostly horrible. What was the last movie you saw, Shane?

Last night, I watched 127 Hours because I Okay, you watched a lot of movies. Name one of them. Last night, he watched watched a lot of movies. Name one of them. Last night he watched 127 hours of movies. Time slowed down. I broke my feet hiking

and I wrote a bunch of material about it and then everyone goes, oh, that reminds me of 127 hours because I had to crawl down a mountain. And so I wrote a bunch of jokes at the expense of this man's stump. And then I was like, maybe I shouldn't be doing this. And so I watched

As you were vacuuming the hole in your own foot? Yeah, yeah. Like maybe I was raw dogging it. Your foot hole? You were raw dogging your own foot hole? That's how I caught the foot juice. That's what you're vacuuming out of there. I was like, I should have used those condoms in that gift bag.

You got another little pinky coming out. Dude, you do it on backs, not in footholds. Pot watch. That's what comics do. Hashtag pot watch. Raw dog net foothold. So that's why I watched the movie And it was good It was fine

Did you say it was fine or it was fun? Fine Fine Yeah I enjoyed it up until when he got stuck In the rock thing Because up until then It was just about a fun guy running around

He meets a couple of cute girls you liked that and uh you know they jump off a thing and they're like and they uh they go into a dark part and don't they make doesn't he make out with them or something um this sounds like a great movie yeah it sounds like i'd like to see like later on she's like flirtatious in the video that he has to watch and then he like jerks it to her while he's stuck in a rock. He jerks it while he's stuck in a rock? I'm pretty sure. Does he come in his foothold?

Someone's going like that. In my mind, I was like, are they just showing a scene where he jerks it quick because he thinks he's going to die? I must not have been paying attention. He calls it off. He gets distracted by his arm being caught in a rock. Yeah, yeah.

So he decides not to jerk off. Yeah. That's top of mind. You know how you have to focus. And then at the end of the movie, he's like, still just doing dumb crap. Oh, spoiler alert. Like, the story should be him writing a 400-page book with one fucking hand. And instead, it's like, hey, I'm still doing dumb stuff. I got

an ice pick arm now and he's gonna lose his other arm for sure. I don't know about any of that. I guess I should tell the guests to try to watch a movie that I might have seen in the last week or so. What have you seen in the last week? I saw a shit ton of movies and I wouldn't do that to my guests. What was the last week or so. What have you seen in the last week? Because I saw a shit ton of movies.

And I wouldn't do that to my guests. What was the last movie you saw, Matt? I see most of mine on Netflix these days. I saw a sci-fi movie called Frequencies. Anyone? One or more? Two. It's not Frequency.

Frequencies. It's about a world where everyone's born on a certain frequency and your frequency kind of matches your personality and as we soon realize like dumb people have a lower frequency and super smart people have a higher frequency but the higher frequency you have the less empathy you have is another uh way it goes this. You're describing insurgent. What's that? Or divergent. I haven't seen that.

You never saw divergent? They have frequencies like that in that, too? No, it's just everybody's in different categories based on. How is insurgent? How is frequencies? I love it. It's a Romeo and Juliet. So a high frequency woman woman And a low frequency

Guy fall in love And frequencies Can't come together What does frequency mean? Is it like a force field? It's almost like a Of something you put off Yeah

An aura You don't hear it But like If a dumb person A smart person Come together Bad things happen Like planes fall out of the sky.

Why have I never heard of this? Check it out, man. It's cool. I enjoyed it. Is it American? It has to be American for you? No, I just watched Headhunters, which is Dutch or something. No, it's in English. I don't know if it's American though. I can't remember now. I think it actually might be British. You don't remember what accent they've spoken? I don't. It was like a month ago. It probably was British now I think about it. That was the last movie you saw? It was a month ago?

I've seen a lot of Oscar things. I guess Doug wouldn't want to talk about that. I'd talk about any movie anybody brings up. I think the best comedy of the year was Whiplash. I will say that. I thought that was hilarious that someone could exist like that. Didn't you laugh at that movie? Not once.

My wife was like, why are you laughing? I'm like, that's hilarious. Who would put up with that in the class? All these people are like, no problem. He's throwing symbols at their heads. He's straight up slapping them. Yeah, yeah. How does Koss say, oh, the professor was slapping the shit out of another student, and you didn't

do anything? Are you a fucking sociopath? No, I really want to make it in music, so I'm cool with that. If I was in his drum class, I'd be like, bum, ba-dum, bum, bum, bum, bum. So, we are farmers. He should do that thing in one of the farmers commercials when somebody's talking about, but we don't need. Do not grab the thing.

Not quite my tempo. Scare the shit out of him. Yeah, yeah, exactly. What did he say? Not quite my tempo. Dragging or what was the other? What was the opposite of dragging? Rushing. Rushing of dragging. Rushing.

Rushing or dragging. Rushing or dragging. Again. Yeah, that was trippy. His hands were bleeding and I read in an interview that his hands were actually bleeding. He says his hands were bleeding. So the blood on the drums is the blood of actor Miles Teller. Not the character.

Not Ketchup. Not ketchup. Ketchup. His name was Ketchup. Which I thought was a weird choice. Well, in the scene before, he's eating a burger with a lot of ketchup on it, so I was focused the whole time going, is that ketchup from that burger?

You guys weren't thinking that? And at what stage of the bloody hand did they do the insert shots where he had to sit around and still continue to have a bloody hand? Did they use fake blood then? Maybe. Or did they just push him? They were just like, yeah.

Have some blood standing by if he lost too much on that day. Yeah, I just found out in Fight Club, the scene where Brad Pitt gets punched in the ear, that was like a real thing and like a mistake. Like the director went to Edward Norton and was like, hey, punch him in the ear like he was supposed to hit him in the shoulder or something and then he punched brad pitt in the fucking ear that's not a mistake he got told to do that he got told to do that

and then they just kept it sorry mistake he told me to do it yeah Yeah, Fincher will do that shit. Like, he told Gone Girl to kill Neil Patrick Harris. Her name was Gone Girl. Gone Girl. Rosamund, I need you to kill him in this scene. But he's beloved. He's beloved.

He's had a career resurgence. Zip it, Amazing Amy, and do your job. In Conan, the first one, Arnold Schwarzenegger punches a llama and the llama goes down and that was not scripted.

He just saw a llama punched it and you can see the camera doesn't quite catch it. He just comes out and punches this llama and you can see

the llama going, oh no. And it like, kind of shakes and then it just goes down. And it's on YouTube and you should all the llama going, oh no. And it like kind of shakes and then it just goes down. And it's on YouTube and you should all watch it and know that he was the governor of California.

When he was shooting Conan Tick. Yes. He just punches a llama full in the face. Great movie. Hashtag pot watch. I brought it up because it was similar to punching Brad Pitt in the ear. And I brought it up because your thing was similar.

We're all talking. Oh, the blood, yeah. And we brought that up because you said ketchup. But I don't remember if that was before or after it. But that was the funniest comedy of the year. And then we talked about 127 hours. And then I put on my underwear. Those were the days, huh?

You remember when Doug was talking about rolling papers? Oh. I miss that. Is that funny, that documentary? Or is it just a serious documentary? No, it's got some funny parts. It's kind of fun. But it also gets into some interesting issues,

like the child care services are not happy that there's some people whose jobs it is to... Like there's critics for the Denver Post of marijuana, and their job is to, you know, like there's critics for the Denver Post for marijuana, and their job is to smoke pot, and this woman has a child, and she's worried they'll take her kid away from her because her job is to smoke some weed and write articles about it. I mean, I would be like, get a new job. But it is legal to do.

It's legal for her to smoke it, but it's still one of those, it's up there high on the list of, you know, you get your kid taken away from you if you're, you know, using too much of it. Or at all in some cases. She should get a different job. But it does sound like the best job ever. Next time you're viewing Blown Jobs. It's a pretty sweet gig.

All the reviews are like, I don't remember. Your child could eat one of those marijuana cookies. All right, we've got to move on to the game portion of the show. So I'll say, let the games begin. Now, Shane might be particularly attracted to the signs that are in the front row today, so good job for getting here early, because he might just reach out and take one from you instead of hobbling around on his...

Foothold. Foothold. But you guys also, Matt and Kumail, just go grab whoever you want to play for, their name tag, and while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. And we're back! Did he give you his driver's license?

Yeah. He picked Chad. It's Chad, right? Lawrence. Sounds the same Won't forget Rudy though Because that's so funny That the name tags that we talk most about Got picked

Kumail picks the helmet that says Rudy on it Is that one he brings in all the time? No no we were just talking about it Before I brought you guys out I told him somebody might pick his license, his ID, and someone did. And that was my favorite,

was the Rudy helmet. I talked to him for a little bit. And what do you have, Shane? I have, it says Ryan Stone on it, which is a reference that I don't understand. So I took it to have a closer look. She basically

got tricked into picking this guy's name tag. And then with Doug Benson and Ryan Bruckner? Yeah. It's instead of Rhinestone. With Dolly Parton would be him now. And I'm Stallone.

She's bet everything and we mean everything that she can turn this New York cabbie into an overnight sensation. He has other things in mind, but he's never had a trainer like this one. Man, we really

went short on the catchphrases now. Used to be catch paragraphs. Yeah. All right. Now it's like, the wait is over. So you're playing for Ryan. Yes, he's playing for Ryan.

I'm playing for Ryan, yeah. What's the next Fast and Furious movie going to be called? The eighth one. The eighth one. Seven, eight, nine. I don't know. I didn't mean to put you guys on the spot with it. My point was just that.

What's this one called? Furious 7. The one with Fast 5. Fast 6. This will just be and. Furious 7. No, whoa, wait 7 Fast and Furious 6 Didn't it all come back for that one?

There was one called Just Fast and Furious But I think that's That's the fourth one That was after Tokyo Drift If you get my Tokyo Anyway

It's quite a saga And I got to see Furious 7 And? At the thing At South By And I enjoyed it Is it as good as 5?

I think 5's the best one 5's still the best one Okay But this one's better than 6 Okay Yeah There you have it everybody Everyone's gonna to go anyway.

It's going to be fucking huge. Yeah. And they can keep making them, but now I'm curious which way they're going to go with eight. I just like when they had in five, when they had The Rock fighting Vin Diesel, and it wasn't that The Rock murders him in 20 seconds, because Vin Diesel, he would get murdered by The Rock.

I could beat up Vin Diesel. Nice. This is where the challenge started, right here. Kamau was found dead. Okay. Yeah, I mean, The Rock is a massive He has a couple He has a fight scene in an office Where you know every office

Is made out of windows So they just fucking going through Windows These floors are made of windows too After walking through window after window It's embarrassing for anybody who's genuinely injured from something a lot less crazy.

You know, like just trying to hike or something. And I had to climb down a mountain, crawl down a mountain. Where were your friends? It was too steep for anyone to help me. Wait, so your friends were there? Yeah, it was like, they were trying to help. They were like, we're not gonna

go up there. Well, there's not much to be done. Look what happened to you. Yeah, yeah. It was a long story. It was quite an ordeal. I'm making an album about it in April. So that'll be out soon. And yeah, I'm not gonna, it'll take

like 45 minutes to explain right now. I broke my feet hiking. I broke both of my heels at the same time. That would be worse if it wasn't at the same time, if one was 30 minutes later. Break the other one going down. I think I could get it this time. But one was more broke than the other. And so one is pretty healed up and the other one's still bad.

One's 100% fine. The other one's on on its way toward recovery he's part robot now yeah i was a robot for a while and then it didn't work out for me and my body was rejecting oh no the cybernetic implants were yeah so then they were as far as you know yeah and it, and it wasn't some great piece of technology. It was like a plate and eight screws. Then they just screwed in bones where they hoped they might be one day. And it worked. And then they took it out, and I was like, that's what you put in. Like, the technology is all in, like, fake titties and stuff people care about. Yeah, feet can look like horse shit.

Nobody cares. But titties have look like horse shit. Nobody cares. But titties have like the amazing technology. You can put fake titties on but no fake feet. You got the blade, you got to murder your wife. The guy that had the blade on his foot,

he murdered his wife. What? You know, the guy that was missing the foot and he was running. He had a blade on his foot. He was sharing about it. And so that's why he murdered his wife. Because he was running in the Olympics. And I was like, oh, this is like a Disney movie.

And then he came in last and then murdered his wife. Yeah, yeah. That did not go well. When you said blade on his foot, didn't you guys all picture blades coming out of some guy's foot? And he murdered his wife with them. With the lady in Kingsman. I get it. When your foot's all fucked up, you get real irritable.

I know that now. Yeah, well, he doesn't have feet. Shane, did you fall on your head off of that mountain? We've got to play a game. Here we go. I'm going to let Shane go last in this game. Alright. And Matt

will go first and let's see what happens with Kumail. How much did this shit make is a game I love to play on the show where we talk about, you know, box office bombs or, you know, movies that made a lot of money but I thought they were shitty.

And, you know, box office bombs or movies that made a lot of money, but I thought they were shitty. And the Insurgent movie came out this weekend, and it's doing okay. It's about the same as the last one. Insurgent? Mm-hmm. But you guys didn't even see Divergent, right? No. I saw Detergent.

I made a detergent joke on Twitter and got a few boos from people someone tweets at you boo it's like mute

but so I don't mute them on that one because that was pretty cornball but I thought it was great it was great

do it again I heard the third one's coming out soon. What's that going to be called? Oh my God! Fuck! Fuck me! We should have lived with the beautiful memory! You can't reach me in sunset!

Yeah, you can. It happens every day. What's the third one called? And sun goes down. What's it called? Detergent. Detergent? Detergent.

Just detergent? Surgent? Insurrection. Urgent. Itgent? Turgent. Just Turgent? Surgent? Insurrection. Urgent. It's called Urgent. Are those movies anything? Flagrant. Flargent.

What is the next one called? Sargent. It's detergent, insurgent, allegiant. Allegiant? Allegiant. Just made it up. No, that's true That's a real word

I saw the first one and that's what we're going to play with How much did this shit make How much money did the North American box office In it's entire run Did it make according to Box office mojo dot com In millions without going over Friday to Sunday

This has just been one weekend? No, no, no. The original the first movie is called Divergent or Divergent. And this is how much money that movie make in its whole run. Oh, but not international, just North America.

Oh, boy. I don't know if I'm good at this kind of stuff. Let's find out. I'm going to say 85. Okay. I'm going to say 130 million. One dollar, Bob. Because if we go... Yeah, we go over.

What an asshole. Oh, because if we go... Yeah, we go over... Hmm. What an asshole. I hit my head on some rock. You'll have to forgive me. Definitely didn't make a dollar. He could have said $131 million, and that would have been another way to... another dick move to pull on Kumail,

because just in case it is over 130 million which it is it made yeah it made 150.9 million fucking close wow the new ones on target to make like 140 130 140 so they're doing good business with that

I like Shailene Woodley she's great I'm alright with her She's great. I'm all right with her. She's great in The Descendants. That's the first one of those. She just hits movies. All right. So I win? Nothing.

You just get to go first in the next game great yeah and then Shane will get to go after you and then

me and then Matt yeah I'm gonna play that's cheating no well yeah kind of no I just like to play whenever we play

Last Man Stanton Last Man Stanton! Last Man Stanton! Which I'll repeat again just because it's so fucking funny. We were playing the films of Bruce Willis and nobody said Last Man Standing while we were playing Last Man Stanton. I think there was four of us doing the guessing,

so that was amazing. So you can blank on this game. It's real easy to blank. We're going to get the name of an actor, actress, or director with large body work. Take turns naming movies that person was in or made in the case of directors. And, yeah, when you can't think of one, you're out. Love it. You've done this before, Camille?

Yes, I have. All right, cool. Love it You've done this before Camille? Yes I have Alright cool So Does anybody Feel like they've got one

That like People write to me on Twitter Begging to do certain ones Certain actors Like Willem Dafoe Or Jack Nicholson What do you think

The chances are I'm going to pick their movie I mean that person Just wait, you guys. That was like, it's caught on like wildfire. No, I always like to just zero in on somebody and ask them, because I don't like to have a bunch of names yelled out all at once. But some of those were good ones, too.

But this polite guy over here whose head is framed by the artwork Yeah, it looks great. In a delightful way. Yeah, it just looks like you're popping up from an orange tombstone grave. And very happy about it. Well framed, sir. Yes, and who do you think

would be a good name for this game? I was going to say Walter Matthau. Is that too hard? You were going to say Walter Matthau. Is that too hard? You were going to say Walter Matthau. It sounds like you got a backup because that one sucks. Walter Matthau? I play the shit out of Walter Matthau. I can think of

at least ten right now. Let's not do it. But it's not fair. It wouldn't be a fair one. How about Jack Black? Jack Black? That's interesting. Let's give that a whirl. Alright. Yeah. Go, Kumail. Uh, Kung Fu Panda.

School of Rock? I love the gimmies. Kung Fu Panda 2. What's the name of it? What's the name of Kung Fu Panda 2? It's called Kung Fu Panda 2. Don's the name of it? What's the name of Kung Fu Panda 2? It's called Kung Fu Panda 2. Don't look it up. I'm not looking it up. What's it called?

I believe it's called Kung Fu Panda 2. I believe that's where it ends. I don't think it has a subtitle. There's no fun subtitle? I don't think so. I wouldn't have stuck my neck out on that one if I didn't know that. I think it's Tokyo subtitle. There's no fun subtitle? I don't think so. I wouldn't have stuck my neck out on that one if I didn't know that. I think it's Tokyo Drift.

That works. Kung Fu Panda 2, The Penguins of Madagascar. Three. My turn? Bob Roberts. Yes, that's a deep pull. I like that. Maybe his first movie, possibly. Possibly.

I will go with... I think I know what his second movie is. Yes, Shane? Oh, it's me. High Fidelity. Oh, wait, I'm sorry. It was on Camille. Yeah, High Fidelity.

I hope I'm pronouncing it right. Nacho Libre? Yeah. Woo! What part were you... I've never seen the movie. I saw pronouncing it right. Nacho Libre? Yeah. Woo! What part were you... I've never seen the movie. I saw like two times. You must have heard the word nacho.

I was like, I had like nacho macho in my head or something. I couldn't remember exactly what the other part of it. I'm disinterested. Okay. I'm disinterested. Okay. This one's going to blow your minds. Dead Man Walking.

What? Yeah, he's in Dead Man Walking. Next. Next. No need to debate it because he's in the fucking movie. Is he in it? He's like Sean Penn's brother in the movie. He goes to visit him when he's on death row

and Susan Stratton's like, I'm a nun! Yeah, odd choice. She made a really weird choice there, didn't she? I'm going to say the Tenacious D movie. Oh! What's it called? Well, you're next, so you can say the actual title, because Matt's out.

I can't just say... No. In search of the... You can't just describe a movie. Golden pick. You're just helping one of the other contestants now. I know what it's called Well go ahead

Wait is he out? Yeah he's out Okay Pick of Destiny It's a cruel game Fuck What's the full title? Tenacious D What can I do?

Kung Fu Panda Pick of Destiny Kamil's gonna fuck this up Can I just do a different one? Yes I don't want to do that one. God Livers Travels. Yes.

Cable Guy. That's another long pull. I like that. Saving Silverman. Oh! Oh, he's out. Yeah oh he's out yeah he's out he has a movie called the D train huh. Tell us a little bit about that film. It's him and

Cyclops. Okay. Kumail's out. No, it's real. D-Train is real. I'm telling you. It's real. It's not a Cyclops. It's James Marsden. James Marsden plays a Cyclops? No. He plays a cyclops, it's James Marsden. James Marsden plays a cyclops? No.

He plays a cyclops in the X-Men movies, but in this one, they're friends. And what do they do? They ride the train? Yeah, guess which one. Not the train, the train. Does anybody object to this? It's real, confirmed real. Not the train. Did anybody object to this? It's real. Confirmed. Real.

Oh, man. Wow. That's really interesting. Grown-ups? Did he make an appearance in that? I'm sorry, Jack Black. Wrong click. How about a motion picture called

Envy? God. I think I'm gonna win this. Orange County? Yes! That's the first time that movie has gotten a round of applause. I like that movie.

I don't know why I said that. I'm going to say Sunshine Boys. Oh, it's Walter. Shit. Please don't do that. King Kong! King Kong!

Okay. Never Ending Story 2. Three. Never Ending Story 2. Three. Never Ending Story 3. When is that story going to end? There were three of them? He was in part three?

Yes. The main villain. Well, Kumail loses anyway. But it's fun to learn that. I had no idea that he was in that I didn't know there was a three Sorry What was the name of the movie he did

Where he was the Really nice guy Bernie Of course Bernie would have been a good one The Cradle Will Rock Or Rock the Cradle What was that called? School Rock we said The Cradle Will Rock. Or Rock the Cradle? What was that called? School of Rock.

School of Rock, we said. I got here late. Tropic Thunder. Tropic Thunder, of course. Demolition Man. Demolition Man. The Holiday, that's right. Muppets, Anchorman.

Probably Anchorman 2, right? He's in sex tape? Yeah, he's in sex tape. The Tenacious D movie. You know what I'm talking about. Tenacious D in the pick of destiny. I should have just said that instead of whiffing on Neverending Story.

I also like people being upset. It's Neverending Story 3! How dare you get that wrong? The finest film ever made. Shallow Hal. Shallow Hal. Somebody said that? Yeah.

Who? Biodome. Biodome? That's... Why wasn't in that? Airborne. That's right. He was in Airborne. What's Air... Why was it in that? Airborne. That's right. He was in Airborne.

What's Airborne? Is it a virus? Skateboarding movie. Oh. I thought it was a virus movie. I meant Rollerblades. How dare you get that wrong? But they did it on dangerous streets. Water World.

Mars Attacks. Water fucking World. Mars Attacks. The Jackal. He's done some work. The Jackal! The Jackal! The Jackal. The Jackal.

What? Bong Water. Wild Water? Bong Water. Bong Water? Are you offering or is that a movie title? I'm covered in it. Yes, you just saw.

Get it off me. Bong Water? I just took the Bong Water challenge. title. I'm covered in it. Yes, you just saw. Get it off me. Fog water? I just took the fog water challenge. I nominate Doug. But anyway, School of Rock. Great job, though, guys. That was a fun one. That was a fun one. That was a fun one that was a fun one

that was a fun one I'm gonna look something up uh oh cause I'm being an asshole but what is it somebody in the audience can look it up I'm gonna make sure

that Kung Fu Panda 2 is just called Kung Fu Panda 2 guess what it's called Kung Fu Panda 2 still kunging guess what? It's called Kung Fu Panda 2 still kunging.

So I win. He's making that up. No, still kunging. It'd be like the curse. If there was one, it'd be like the curse of something or something like that. They went straight up too because they knew those kids are still going to want more panda.

I haven't seen any of those, but I hear they're good. First one was fun. Yeah. I haven't seen that or Happy Feet or Madagascar or... I like Happy Feet because the little penguin he really likes to dance. It's fun to watch that little guy dance.

Billy Elliot, but with a penguin? That's exactly what it is. Yeah, he gets ostracized by all the other penguins, because they've got more important things to do, like sliding around on their belly. They're like, we should have serious feet. Yes. No, actually, it's about how they all are great singers,

but this one bird can't sing, but he's great at tap dancing, and nobody accepts him because they're all great singers. Is that real? You know, it's like when a tap dancer goes into a accepts him because they're all great singers. Is that real? You know, it's like when a tap dancer goes into a karaoke joint. There's nothing but disrespect. Yeah, when they move the microphone down to their feet, everyone tsk-tsks. Right back here. Imagine a guy going, hey, I want to tap this one.

I got a little tap that I do in this song, so let's just put the mic down there and let everybody hear it. The problem with tisking is it sounds like tapping, so it doesn't sound like they're disapproving. It just sounds like they're churning in. They're, okay, yeah, they're encouraging. Yeah. I fucked up. That sounded like whiplash.

Thanks. I was dragging. I can't. If I hear drums at all, I just have whiplash. Thanks. He's dragging. I can't. If I hear drums at all, I just have whiplash slash Birdman or the unexpected

virtue of ignorance PTSD. You didn't like that movie? It's got a lot of drumming in it. Yeah. Both of those films feature quite a lot of drumming. Like, the credits

start to come up and they have more drumming. Like, that's the one place where they can just fucking take a a lot of drumming. Like, the credits start to come up and they have more drumming. Like, that's the one place where they can just fucking take a break from the drumming. Yeah. Get Celine Dion in here. They'll drum your ass out of the theater. Bum, bum, bum, bum.

I didn't even do it right. Was it a drum sound? Kumail? Yeah. You get to go first in the leonard malton game playing at two points i think we got enough time um shane will be second but kumail gets to pick the first category uh would you like valentine's dray and that's a romantic comedy or just a rom, just a rom. Let's not drag comedy into this. Just a rom. A rom that has a hip hop artist in it.

Okay. Or want to do some nines, and that's all these films are from the year 1999. Okay. All right. If you're good with years, you know. Or, I think we're going to need a bigger coat. Which, of course, is films where someone is frozen.

Wow. I want to go 1999. Okay. This movie from 1999 got one and a half stars from Leonard. Yeah. The first two words of this review are followed by an exclamation point and have a comma in between them. The first two words of the review.

Okay. All right. And I'm going to tell you what that sentence is, but I just thought it was interesting to describe it first. Because I have no idea why. I've seen this movie... Okay, I'm saying too much. The first two words of this review are

hokey-jokey. Okay. Okay. I don't know. I have no idea. I mean, I. I have no idea. I mean, I kind of have an idea. Anyway. He goes on to say that this movie

goes on forever. Never ending story. No pre-guessing. Hokey jokey. Goes on forever. And then he lists Seven names Please no audience guessing And Kumail

How many names do you think you can get it in? Seven I'll go seven He says seven names Shane Six Six to Matt Besser He sounds like he just ate a Scooby snack He says five He says five

He says five, Kumail Four I'm calling him on it Oh Thank God Just gotta say name that movie Name that movie Okay

You get four names? Yeah No, it was five. No, he gets four. I said five. You failed that test, Kumail. This reminds me of Kung Fu Panda, too. We already don't trust you.

Kunging up a storm. No, that's the third one. Kunging, is it? Like, that's a thing. How was your date last night? Oh, he'd the third one. Cunging, is it? Like, that's a thing. How was your date last night? Oh, he cunged me out. He's... Has the Kung Fu Panda gone to college yet?

Because I could do something like with Fu Yu or something. I could go off to school in one of them. That would be kind of cool. Oh, yeah. Fu Yu. Or he goes to a school that's called Kung Yu. Your four names are... Odad Fair Fair Jonathan Hyde

Kevin J. O'Connor and Arnold Vosloo. This is great. It's great. They were all in one movie. Yeah. Do you know? All four of those people

plus three more people. I've heard of all of them. But of course, I'm looking right at what this movie is that they're all in. I remember them distinctly from... I could tell you which characters they played in that movie. Oh my God. Yeah. So you know the movie?

Oh yeah, I know this movie. Do you like it? I think I said something to the effect of one and a half stars is a little unfair on Leonard's part. No, but did you just see it in the time? Oh, yeah. In that year. Oh, 1999? Yeah, you kidding me?

Probably opening day. So when you went to the... Yeah, with my dick out. Wait, wait a second. That doesn't narrow it down. I was going way too excited. When you went to see it, what did you... This is it.

The floor is not open to questions. What did you say to the guy when you wanted to see it, what did you... This is it. The floor is not open to questions. What did you say to the guy when you wanted to buy a ticket? Look at my dick, sir. As you may know about me, I like to say a comedy movie title to the person behind the glass to see what they have to say. I'll just say, I don't know, Hocus Pocus. My guess is Hocus Pocus. I think that came out earlier.

I was just about to give you one more great clue. Okay, give it to me. That when I went to this movie, I probably said to the person behind the glass, can I have one for Mr. Mom? Because the movie's called... Mr. Mom? No. Why would I just directly ask for it and

say, here's the funny take on it. What if I was being funny and I asked for a ticket to Mr. Mom when I was buying a ticket to Mr. Mom? Am I right? Ladies, sit this one out. Is it Dr. Dad? Was that a movie? No, the film

we're talking about. Professor Boyfriend. The film we're talking about with Arnold Vosloo as the title character is The Mummy. The Mummy. Oh! And that's hokey and jokey. Hokey jokey.

Oh! I thought that was a, I like it. I like when it's on cable, I'll watch it. Maybe not so much The Mummy Returns, but.

The first one's not bad. Yeah. Stephen Sondheim directed it. I'm joking, it's Stephen Sommers. Stop repeating. It's the Bongwater Lady. Sondheim I'm outta here

of course Rachel Weisz that's where she was unleashed on the world and Brendan Fraser was on a hot streak at the time he was on a hot streak we were like

oh he's the next and John Hanna played his like that's right girl Friday and Kevin J. O'Connor was the guy with the fez who was very shifty and rat-like.

That's right. Odette Fair was some guy with a giant knife. I know what that guy looks like. I know Odette Fair. I thought Odette Fair was a music festival. Plot watch, folks.

All right. All right. All right. Okay, so what just happened there? Shane gets a point. Shane gets a point. That's great, Shane. I used my cunging. Oh, very cunging.

Matt gets to pick a category and then we go to Kumail and Matt gets to choose between Red Light Challenge, which is films where a cab is involved in a chase scene,

which is pretty much chase scenes in general. Cherub. These are categories that were invented back in Valentine's Days. Cherub is movies that have a lap dance in them. That's great. And at Christyfuss underscore suggested lunch at Christopher's underscore suggested lunch at

Tiffany's and that's romantic sequels which is very narrows it down very

much because romantic movies tend to not get a sequel for whatever reason mostly because I guess somebody has to

die in those movies. Well because they fall in love and then you can't do ghosts too and she's like

you know... I would say most romantic movies people don't die in. That's the only one where someone really dies. Oh, really? What about Romeo and Juliet? Yeah, okay. Love Story? You could get Alzheimer's. The Godfather? But I mean like most rom-coms end with

them falling in love. When Harry reintroduced himself to Sally. When Harry wet Sally. himself to Sally. When Harry wet Sally. Which one of those categories do you want to play, Matt? The first one, the taxi one. Red light challenge. Would you like a movie that has a cab in a chase

from 1963 or 1972? Ooh. Unless it's Wizard of Oz. I'm going to say I don't have a shot. I'm going to say 72.

Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1972 that he says one of the lead people in this movie is impish. He also says that this movie is a bouquet.

But he also says, look for John Biner and Randy Quaid. Look for them. Guy in the back of the crowd just went, hmm. And 10 names are listed. How many do you think, Matt? Kumail, you're up next?

I could do it in two names. Whoa. What's Kumail going to do with that? I'm going to say name that movie. Yeah. Okay, let me give you two names. Will you like, movies that are a bouquet? I know.

A bouquet is a bunch of flowers, right? Yeah. Alright, I'm gonna get this. A bouquet is a bunch of flowers. Your two names are M. Emmett Walsh and John Hillerman. What's the movie called, Matt? 1972.

Cab. In a Chase. You know this. Just say it. You know what it is. Give me those names again. John Hillerman. That's never a good sign.

Emmett Walsh. Emmett Walsh. And John Hillerman. It's got to be Chinatown. No, but they do also have in that same chase scene a Chinese dragon when they go through Chinatown because the motion picture is called What's Up, Doc? Starring the impish Barbra Streisand. go through Chinatown because the motion picture is called What's Up, Doc?

Starring the impish Barbra Streisand. And it was a bouquet to 1930s Hollywood. What bouquet were you thinking about? Things can't be bouquets to things.

I think a gift or a nod to or something like Love Letter. Sure. You know, Leonard likes to spice it up a little bit.

But that means that Kumail is on the board with one point. By the way, I met him and hung out with him one afternoon, and he was very nice. Who was? Leonard Maltin's a very nice man. Yeah, he's great. Super nice. I thought we were talking about Ryan O'Neill or something.

I was talking about John Hillerman. John Hillerman, who, of course, was on Magnum P.I. He's the guy? He was Fenwick on Magnum P.I. The second guy? What was his name on there? Higgins. Oh, that's him.

Higgins, yeah. That guy's great. Yeah, his one scene in What's Up Talk is hilarious. It's a great, every beat's really funny. It's between him and Ryan O'Neill after Ryan O'Neill and Barbra Streisand destroy a hotel room. Movie really holds up. It's really funny. And it's rated G too. I'm not being sarcastic.

What's Up Doc is like the perfect movie for a beginning screenwriter to watch as a comedy movie. That makes sense because it's all character and plot driven but then they write jokes for the situations. They don't go out of their way to make jokes that don't fit the situation or the characters. Thanks for that, Matt.

I've never seen it. Me either. Check it out sometime. I'm going to watch whatever bullshit you were talking about. Headhunters. Headhunters. It's great. You're going to love it.

Headhunters. You're going to love it. All right. Shane gets to go next first and he gets to pick a category and then we're coming back at you, Kumail. Because you're always challenging people. You're the great challenger.

At Crosscheck with a K How else would you spell check? Suggested the other Jeff Tate. You know our friend Jeff Tate's on the show all the time. But this is movies that have Queensryche on the soundtrack. Because the other Jeff Tate is how he's known from now on. And then Puff Puff Pass is movies that feature Emily Blunt that Leonard gave two stars or less. So he gave Blunt a puff-puff pass.

And then your third option is a fun category called the Ken Jennings category, and that's movies where the title is in the form of a question. What's Up, Doc? I'll take the third one. What's Up, Doc would qualify, of course. You want that one? Yep.

Yep. You want that one's name of a movie. Leonard calls this movie from 1987 a bomb. He says it's atrocious. He says it's derivative.

Oh, and this is fun. He says it's missing just two things. You want to guess which two things are missing? Plot and characters. Queensryche soundtrack. The correct answer is charm and humor. This movie is is charm and humor. This movie is missing charm and humor.

And he lists seven names. This was 87? Yeah. Yeah. I guess I'll do seven to play it safe. I like that. Me? I'll do seven to play it safe. I like that.

Me? Yes, sir. I'll do six. Good, good call. Matt Besser. Back to me. Five. Yes. I feel like I was watching a fair amount of dumb movies when I was seven years old. I'll try four.

Name it. Name that movie. Okay. All right, so this is going to determine the winner today because one of you two guys is going to get the second point. And you get four names? Four. It was four.

He's doing the thing again. Where he says words that aren't true. I just like to test everybody. Okay, your four names are John Mills, Drew Pillsbury. Oh, boy. He's like the dough boy. It's going to come up to people you know. What?

No, I'm just saying you'll hear of these. I'm nervous right now. Joe Pillsbury. Yeah, we got Drew Pillsbury. Drew Pillsbury. Then we got the great Rupert, pardon me, Robert Swan. Not Rupert Swan, no.

Robert Swan. And finally, Bless you. Never heard of them? This movie, I am honestly allergic to this movie. That's how bad it is. And the fourth name is John McMartin. John McMartin. Oh, no.

Well, I don't have a name. I dare say there's only the top name might help you, but even then I would worry about your ability to come up with this. But just think of a question that may have been the title of a movie. About 87. It's probably, dude, where's my car? Two. I think, does dude, where's my car have a question mark at the end?

It might not. It does? Okay. It's not a statement. Dude, where's my car? Yeah. Dude, where is my car? I can't make It's not a statement. Dude, where's my car? Yeah. Dude, where is my car? I can't make it sound like a statement.

Oh, where's my car? Dude. Where's my car? I can't do it. Make it sound like a statement. It's hard to say where. Is it? Is it. Is it? Is it?

Is it foot juice? I don't, I honestly, I don't have the You've got 14 minutes. Foot juice.

Dude, where's your answer? Where's your answer, dude? I'm going to say, um, we're going to Dude, where's your answer? Where's your answer, dude?

We're going to play one more round for fun because you guys have got a lot of stoppers today that are just ridiculous. I apologize. Can I steal? Are we allowed to try to steal? I should have done Mummy. I lost. I definitely lost. I'll tell you what, Matt. If you can name this movie right now,

we will call this a three-way tie and play one more round to settle it. But you're not going to be able to, which is why I'm giving such a crazy offer. No respect. You think you have a shot at this? I don't know. Is 87

the time Who Killed Roger Rabbit came out? Jesus Christ. That's way late. That's a fun guess. No, but it was wrong. It ended up being Who Framed but I think it started off as Who Killed I think. No, Who Framed. It started off more violent. But the

final title was Framed, yeah. Just like they changed... So that's your guess that's your final answer yeah okay that was good

it was a question and it was probably around that time but this was a movie the top person in this movie it was a young lady by the name of Madonna

and it's called Who's That Girl? question mark co-starring Griffin Dunn the great Griffin Dunn and it's called Who's That Girl? Question mark. Co-starring Griffin Dunn, the great Griffin Dunn from After Hours and American Werewolf in London. Oh yeah. Yeah. He's the best friend

guy, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let's play another round just for fun, but... Truth or dare? So whoever wins, I'm gonna Let's play another round just for fun. Truth or dare? So who just finally won that? Whoever wins, I'm going to throw in a business card. Jamel wins.

Where's Rudy? Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. Rudy. Come get your schmovie, Rudy. Should I give this to you? And the bag. No, you can have his helmet back. Well, you got it right down the...

No, I don't need to know this shithead. You won, shithead. There you go. Yeah, you won, too. He doesn't get that consolation prize. But let me see your shithead anyway, just for laughs. I hadn't even seen it yet when I laughed. Okay.

Good job, Rudy. Tried with all his might. He won! Yeah, he's very happy. Look at him. He's like, look at all this garbage I have to carry around for the rest of the night. There's good stuff in there. A couple business cards. Two CDs of the same

album. Stereo. But yeah, the ID that you got from Lawrence doesn't have a shithead on the back, does it? Oh, it does. We did it with a, whatchacallit, post-it. Good job. Let me give you your the back, does it? Oh, it does. We did it with a, whatchacallit, post-it. Good job. Let me give you your ID back, though. Thank you, Lawrence. And do you have a shithead

on the back of your thing over there, Shane? Yeah. Alright, I'll read that at the very end. But let's play one more round of the game real quick, because we've got a few extra minutes. Does your foot hurt? No, not so much. Unless I try walking on it. It hurt a lot for a while.

Sure. It's fine now. You know what? We can fill with foot talk. That's cool. Yeah, we can do foot talk. I mean. I'm always looking for new ideas for podcasts.

You should have a podcast. A foot show would be kind of fun. I do have a podcast. Is it called Foot Juice? Nope. It's called Here We Are. Oh, change it to Foot Juice. Yeah, I should. I think that'll catch on.

Yeah, it's all about breaking my feet. I actually do talk quite a bit about what it's like to break your feet on my podcast. I think people are fascinated by that. Yeah. What happened? How did you break your feet? So I was hiking with a buddy in Arizona.

He wanted to take a shortcut, which involved jumping off of something that was very high. It was my decision. He talked you into it. I got talked into it, and I jumped first because I was worried about him dying. And I was a very avid rock climber at the time, so I had way too much confidence. And I jumped off of something. I was wearing barefoot running shoes, so I knew that was going to be trouble. I said before it happened, I was like, I might break a heel.

And then I jumped. You were half right. And then I broke both of my heels, one of them horrifically. And I broke both of my heels, one of them horrifically. And I turned. Because I knew immediately because I heard them break inside of my body. How high was the jump? It was like 10, 12 feet.

And doctors go, eight feet. That's the threshold. That's what they told me. I was going to say, it sounds like the injury people get on spring break jumping from the second floor of a motel. I jumped off higher. It was just a bad, there was a cliff there, so I couldn't tuck and roll. I had to jump straight down and take all the weight with my feet, and I did that, and it was a horrible mistake. Your friend was like, ha-ha.

I had to scoot down on my ass for three hours. It was interesting. Did you try and convince your friend to jump? Hey, I'm fine! I turned around and I said, I just broke both my feet. And I said it so fast. Or I said specifically, I just broke both my heels. And I said it so fast, he thought I was joking and was just going down to jump.

And I was like, whoa! And he had to like halfway climb back up. Otherwise, we would have both been scooting down a mountain for three hours. Did it hurt immediately? Yeah, it was horrible. And there was this weird like endorphin

release of like, I want to live! Which is weird because I normally don't want to live. And then I broke both of my feet, which you'd think would send you over the edge. Instead I was pumped about life all of a sudden. It was weird. Three hours down the mountain. And then they give you morphine.

And then I fell in love with everybody. And they kept on coming in and being like, no, this is really serious. And I was like, oh, I get it. Where you got to lop it off? I don't want to make this awkward for you. It wasn't your fault. You didn't jump me off.

I was just like super nice about the whole thing. And then because that's what morphine does. And then, yeah. And then they did a major surgery on it. And I'm and then I had a second surgery in January which put a vacuum on

my foothold. We're full circle with the foothold thing. Yeah. And I'm on the way. I took the vacuum off like three days ago. I have a question about the vacuum. Is it a standard ass vacuum? Yeah, yeah. It's just like a Dyson? Yeah, yeah.

It's a vacuum vacuum. It's a dust buster. It's like the size of a Bible or something and covered in... What kind of analogy is that? Isn't it the size of the Koran? It's the exact size. You motherfucker. Why is it not the size of the Scientology

Center? I'm not as familiar. It's not a pamphlet. It's about the size of Jesus' hand. And then there's a whole thing that slows me down. It was about the size of God's love for us. So it was infinite.

Six inches. So if you ever have a foothold, what you have to do is you have to pull all of the stuff out of your foothold. Sure, no, that's what I was about to say. And then you have a look at your bone and then you like rinse it with stuff

and then you pack it full of foam and then attach a hose that a vacuum sucks your juice out. Yeah, I mean, I've tried all sorts of fun stuff. You could smuggle drugs like in a foothold. But not very much, right? It'd be enough. Also, who wants

to do those drugs then? Here. Hey guys, I have something. Yeah. Hey. Your coat smells like toe jam. I'm going to call people foothold instead of asshole.

It's way worse. Because no one can get mad at you for swearing, but it's strangely more awful. Yeah. It's like somebody's foothold. Like you put thought into this. If you go sniffing around a foothold, you're going to get sick.

I'd eat out an ass before a foothold. Oh, a hundred percent. I'll fucking eat ass. If you don't mind, Doug, I'll be selling that t-shirt after my shows From now on Alright well we ran out of time For more game Because of all the foot talk

But it was great though Is there crazy scarring? Will there be? So far it's not bad Except for the hole. Except for there's an enormous hole. And right now, the skin seems to be growing into the hole, so maybe I'll just have a weird hole there.

Have you shot a vine through the hole? I was about to say. Yeah. What filter did you use? Have you used the hole for, you know... I do have a videotape of it, but I was mostly just saving that. A videotape? You got a I was mostly just saving that. A videotape?

You got a VHS? Yeah, it's real to real. How much of the hole is on videotape? Like, did you get the whole hole? Yeah, I got the whole hole. I got myself changing it, so if insurance ever tried to give me a hard time. Could you pass a ho-ho through your hole in your foot? A hobo? A ho-ho. Don't be ridiculous. A hobo. A ho-ho through your hole in your foot? A hobo?

A ho-ho. Don't be ridiculous. A hobo. A ho-ho. He's asking you a serious question. A ho-ho, you idiot. Just answer one question seriously. God damn it.

I said ho-ho. Hobo. It doesn't go all the way through. I could easily cram half of a ho-ho into my foot hole. Yeah, you can cram a ho-ho into anything. It was the size of a golf ball. It's the size of a golf ball? Yeah, down to the bone.

Then I signed Ivy Antibiotics for a while and I don't have a punchline to any of that. That's just like wrapped in dressing. We're just talking, man. You don't need punchlines. This is the backdoor pilot for Foot Juice.

The show about foot injuries. It's a dancer. Foot care would be good. Yeah, they're a dancer and they want to go back to dancing. There should be dance breaks in the podcast. It's just dancing on one foot a lot. And then it's really hard because you're slipping a lot on the foot juice from the other foot, dripping everywhere. I think it's the movie.

I have a question. Your friend, he feels very bad about it. Can't you save this conversation for the X-Files files? Do you like the show Leftovers, by the way? Because wasn't that done by the people who lost? Have you seen it? That's Lost, yeah.

I have a podcast about the X-Files. A show 20 years older. You said we went to have Lost. Yeah, we wouldn't have Leftovers. We wouldn't have boring shit like Leftovers if it wasn't for X-Files. I haven't even watched Leftovers. Did you like it?

It sounds like it's not as good as... I watched the main course. Pot Watch isn't so bad anymore. I had to get one in in the 90 minutes allotted. Thank you to all of my guests. Shane Moss, Kumail Nanjiani,

Matt Besser. Can we plug stuff? Oh yeah, let's plug some stuff. I'm sorry. Go ahead, man. I have a podcast I'm sorry. Go ahead, man. I have a podcast I mentioned earlier. Impromptu for Humans. If any of you forget what it's called, go to mattbesser.com.

I have a podcast called The X-Files Files. I just mentioned it. And a podcast called The Indoor Kids. That one was a little while ago. Silicon Valley comes back April 12th and it comes out on DVD March 31st. the indoor kids. That one was a little while ago. Silicon Valley comes back April 12th. Yay! March 31st. I have a podcast called Here We Are.

I started last year. I travel around asking scientists about life, so I'll stop fucking up. And then I'm recording a new album, which will be out soon. I have a special on Netflix called Mating Season. Very nice. Apologize for not asking for your plugs

before saying, as always, I find it interesting that this was on the back of his ID. The government is a shithead. I don't think, that's not what it says. It says gout, I think. It's gout? G-O-U-T. Oh, I thought that was

an abbreviation for government. No, gout's another foot thing, though. Yeah. Art of foot doc. Yeah. Do you have gout? It hurts, he says. Oh, does your foot hurt a little bit?

Dude, a lot of your fans are here tonight, man. A lot of the foot-hurting fans are here. All your fans have feet itches. I might have stumbled into a good band name, though. Government Gout. And parking enforcement workers are a shithead. into a good band name, though. Government Gout. And parking enforcement workers are a shithead.

Yeah!