Doug Loves Movies - Matt Fernandez, Jamey Jasta and Geoff Tate guest

Episode Date: December 15, 2017

Live from the Improv in Orlando, Doug welcomes Matt Fernandez, Jamey Jasta and Geoff Tate to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Fox Searchlight has a new movie from visionary filmmaker Guillermo del Toro and it's my favorite of all of his movies and it's called The Shape of Water. With an all-star cast that includes Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Michael Stolberg, and Doug Jones, The Shape of Water is an otherworldly fable about the unpredictable nature of love. It's a stunning and beautiful cinematic vision that must be experienced in theaters. Don't miss The Shape of Water, nominated for seven Golden Globes, and now playing in select theaters. Enjoy the show!

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seats with 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.

Yeah, that's not where you do that. Coming to you once again from one of my favorite places in the world. International Drive, in Orlando, Florida! We're back at the improv, and thank you guys so much for being here. I was in the middle of doing something when the show started. I was doing something on my phone,

because I recorded on the walk over here from the hotel, I recorded a Doug Loves Minis, and it's going to be, I name every Doug Loves Minis after a movie, so this one's going to be called The Florida Project. And I just have to send it to my producers so they can post it, and I don't want to wait until the show's over because they might be in bed. They're out in California. I don't know why they'd be in bed

three fucking hours earlier. I always have to write a description that they can put in there, so I'm just writing, Doug's in Florida. I don't need to say any more about it. All right. Okay, I did that.

Sorry to hold everybody up. None of you have seen Star Wars already, Last Jedi, but are some of you going later tonight? Well, thank you for staying up way later than you normally have to to see me first and then go do that. That's my plan, too, but I was flying all day, so I might be sleepy. that. That's my plan too, but I was flying all day, so I might be sleepy. Did you guys have time to make any name tags during this busy holiday season? Oh, yes, you did. Wow. Pamby is my favorite already because it's Bamby, but it's changed to Pambi.

I haven't seen that before. Kelly's Heroes, is that a hat? It's like a helmet? It's also a name tag. That's pretty creative. Your name's Kelly, right? I saw you on Twitter. What's this Christmas vacation one?

I'm Chris. Your name is Chris, So that was easy. I don't understand this one. Dolphin Tale 2 but you changed it to Stephen Tale 2? That is way too clever. You're in Dolphin Tale 2 because it's shot here

in Orlando. Part of it. Clearwater. Clearwater. Okay, close enough. Oh, we got some nicely lit up ones back there. What's that one with the big mouth on it? What? What does it say? Mac OS contains a built-in screen reader.

Oh, I get it. Dennis. Okay. I don't really get it. Dennis. Okay. You don't really get it. What's that thing you're holding up right there? Yeah, that thing. Just a tiny card that says Devil's Rejects, and you change it to Doodle?

Because your name is Doodle? Doodles Rejects? You're saying so much with so few words Oh there's a big Jeff Tate face And it's next to Snoop Dogg And the movie's called The Josh Instead of The Wash Yeah I know my blaxploitation Alright thank you for bringing all those you guys I forgot to mention instead of the wash. Yeah, I know my blaxploitation.

All right, thank you for bringing all those, you guys. I forgot to mention that it's Thursday, December 14th, and the Doug plugs are as follows. Yeah, you heard me, Doug plugs. It's a brand new dildo that's the sensation around the nation. Tate Crazy Nights continues tomorrow night in Houston, Saturday in Dallas, Sunday in San Antonio, etc.

And don't forget about Doug Loves Movies at the American Comedy Company in San Diego on December 26th, day after Christmas tradition. And for all the dates, deets, and links you can handle, go to douglosemovies.com. That's douglosemovies.com!

Yeah! Baby! Baby! Yeah, baby! We checked into the hotel like 30 minutes ago and Jeff Tate took a quick shower and then he told me the way he can take a quick shower is he puts a song on that's the length of time that he has

and then he takes a shower and I go like, you're the baby driver of regular activities. Instead of a heist, he needs a song to get through a shower. And he goes, yeah, I'm baby shower. Not even knowing that that's already a thing. Baby showers are already... Jeff's the last thing a baby shower needs. All right, so the prize bag, unfortunately, it could be a lot better, but a couple of

my guests didn't have to fly here today, so they probably brought some cool shit to make up for what my bag is lagging that I brought some mints from the hotel few of those oh weird ball that's in the lobby of the hotel it's like lighter than it looks like it should be so that's fun I guess and

and a a Christmasy peacemaker pipe I'm finally almost out of these now that it's finally almost Christmas. I've been giving them away for a year. And something that I might use during the show, but I also might give away. Somebody last night at the 12 Guests of Christmas in Los Angeles. Don't panic, Steve. Somebody gave me this confetti shooter, which, interestingly enough, TSA didn't care about at all. They weren't concerned that I was taking this little gun onto the plane.

But yeah, if you flip this part open, I guess it shoots out a bunch of confetti. So maybe when somebody wins tonight, I'll shoot confetti all over the place. Apologies ahead of time to whoever has to clean that up. Probably one of you guys, right? They'd probably make the audience tidy up before letting you go.

So all that's in the prize bag, plus stuff bought by three. All three of these dudes have been on the show before, and they're terrific guests. So please give a big warm welcome to Matt Fernandez, Jamie Josta, and Jeff Tate! What's up, everybody?

How you doing? I'm the only one that has a stool to put my drink on. I apologize for that, guys. You're just going to have to tough it out over there. Let's meet them individually, starting with the man directly to my left. over there. Let's meet them individually. Starting with the man directly to my left. This is his second appearance on the show.

Lead singer of the band Hatebreed. It's Jamie Josta, everybody! What's up? Any metal fans? All right. Who took his daughter to, what's it called? Hollywood Studios.

Hollywood Studios. I always still want to call it MGM Disney. But Hollywood Studios and Epcot, you hit them both? Yeah, I hit them both. That's tough to do in a day, right? Quick. Don't you have to take a shuttle from one to the other? Yes, but it's fine.

Okay. Wait, you were able to do two things and a shuttle? Yes. A baby shuttle. You battleheads are fucking crazy. This guy looks like he loves you. Sleepless flannel? He is so stoked you're here.

And a mosh. I can see his knee and he's wearing pants. What is happening? He looks like a Roy Moore voter. Damn, Doug. What? I take it back. Let me give you another one.

He looks like Daryl from Walking Dead. Much better. Do you have a Circle Jerks logo tattooed on your arm? That is... Oh, he's double checking. No, maybe not. His Circle Jerk tattoo is on his thigh. It's a mosh shirt, nonetheless.

It's Operation Ivy. All right, respect. All right. Well, thanks for being here, dude. Do you want to point out anybody else in the crowd, Jamie? No, I'm going to let you take that. I don't know. It was your fault.

Hey, Matt, who looks like they love me? That guy raised his hand very politely. We've got a winner. He's politely and calmly in love with you. All right.

Well, thanks for being... Were you in Florida just to go to Disneyland World? Yeah, we just finished tour on Saturday, so... Oh, so you hung out a little bit. Yeah.

Nice. Went to all four parks, actually, Doug. Yeah, you're a regular park hopper. Yeah. We took Lyft, though. It's not a shuttle.

Because you were drunk. You took Lyft from one park to another yeah and it was cheap and faster yeah that's what i was saying the shuttles take fucking forever that was my point yeah you're like no no problem for us we took we ride on the top we don't wait in line we just scamper up onto the top of the tram, and off we go. But that's a great idea, to take a lift from park to park. No wonder you got in two today.

Well, we did. I love it. And what's your favorite attraction of all? Did you go on the Avatar thing? Yes, we did. Because I haven't done that yet. That's in Animal Kingdom? Yep, we did that. Because all the best animals are in Avatar. That's in Animal Kingdom? Yep, we did that.

Because all the best animals are in Avatar. It's good that they have that there so we can study those animals. Learn about the fake animals. Is it fun? Yeah, it was great. I like Soarin'. It's just like that, but with Avatar shit? Yeah, but you ride on the beast. Yeah, instead of just flying over orange groves.

Right. The beast! You just ride on the beast. You're a heavy metal singer. You could have said that way cooler. The banshee, that was it. There you go. That was close.

Wow. We had a lady nerd in the crowd. She's a knobby. She said it condescending to Banshees. Fucking idiots. Doesn't know his Navi terminology. Fucking metal guys. In fairness, a Banshee is a specific type of beast,

and you were being very general, and that's insulting to all the other types of beasts. To the Navi culture. Two Navi people just got up and walked out. The Cyclops. We'll get to you. But first, let's say hello to Tampa's own Matt Fernandez. Hello.

It's very nice of you to come all the way over to Orlando because we can't successfully... Did you take a shuttle? No, I drove my grown-up car. We can't successfully tape a Douglas movies in Tampa. I've given up. It always sounds terrible.

You were on both of them, right? Yeah. Both of the ones that turned out. None of you can hear them. They don't exist. Yeah. But yeah, I'm glad you're willing to come over here. And how are you doing?

Terrible. Really? No, I'm having a great time. And is it a full 90 minutes between the two? Yeah. Hour 15. Yeah, okay. Give it 10.

Now it comes out. It's like an hour and 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. You like to round it off. And there might be traffic. Oh, man. Was it bad?

This is an exciting podcast. Oh, man. Was it bad? This is an exciting podcast. I'm going to talk to Matt about traffic, because fuck him. Well, first of all, I thought Michael Douglas was great in traffic. Well done. Well done.

Filmed in my hometown. Is that where he met Catherine Zeta-Jones was on that movie? Yeah, that's where the throat cancer started. That started. But unfortunately not where it stopped. You guys know Michael Douglas is alive, right? It's okay. And that was a crazy ass thing he said about getting cancer from eating pussy.

You can't let him off the hook for that. That's comedy gold. Jamie's 18-year-old daughter is here. This is perfect. I'm a great role model. She listens to way worse podcasts. Now I'm uncomfortable. I bet. Yeah, I mean, if she listens to podcasts, she's listening to worse shit because, you know, podcasts,

we're getting away with everything at this point. They mostly talk about pussy eating. We'll see what this net neutrality thing does to podcasts. Yeah, I know, right? Don't boo me. Oh, finally, we took a pulse of the citizens of America. Hopefully that Ajit guy,

right? Hopefully he hears this part of this podcast. Eight people know what you're talking about. It knows that you guys are unhappy. Everybody booed except the Roy Moore supporter over here. Don't call him that. Because also Daryl isn't racist anymore. Remember when he used to be racist?

Now he's a super nice guy. He's asking his friend who Roy Moore is. He was like... He's a good Christian. Double birds. And let's say hello to him. He's here with me for eight shows in a row.

It's Jeff Tate. Yes, thank you. Thank you. You guys are correct. Appreciate it. Thank you. They're not called Roy Moore supporters. They're called Roy Moore enablers. That's what we call people that let people like that continue to exist in society. Enablers. Don't get away with people that let people like that continue to exist in society.

Enablers. Right? Don't get away with just, I support them. You're enabling pedophilia. So good job, Republicans. What? You guys want to talk about traffic between here and Tampa some more? We had a hell of a day today, Doug.

Did you talk about that in the intro? Probably. We flew here. Yeah. Right? We took a shuttle from Los Angeles to Orlando. And it was tight. That's why we were thinking, how'd you do it? We were going to be on a you know we would have to stop in houston and then come to orlando and we got there and you know it was gonna be

cutting it close getting to this show and uh and then we got there and the first flight was running two hours behind and uh so we thought oh shit this is it's over it's not happening in orlando tonight and then a nice uh lady that was at the gate started doing a lot of that crazy typing they do where you're like, what are you typing so much? And she was typing for a while and kind of muttering to herself. It was kind of magical.

And then she goes, I put you guys on a nonstop from here to Orlando. Gets you in like a half hour later than we were supposed to get here with a stop in Houston. So we sat around at LAX for a while and then got on that plane and we made it. Yeah. I told him the baby shower story. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I didn't.

I forgot that baby shower was a thing, but nobody else does that? Like, we had 20 minutes, so I found a song that was eight minutes long. Tell them the song. It was Tunnel of Love by Dire Straits, because here, right here, listen, it's got

five and a half minutes of singing and then two and a half minutes of where it's just like a musical outro, like in Layla, only it's not Layla. And so I just get the shower done before the singing's done, and then I got that whole outro to, you know,

blow dry and stuff. You did a great job. Yeah. And I also have tinnitus. That's true. Don't, don't. Oh, it doesn't matter. That makes it more impressive.

Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't put a blow dryer right in your ear. Doesn't seem to have, what was that? All right. Well, that's the bottom line is we made it. Jeff won last night. Spoiler if you haven't heard it yet. So he's here to try to win again tonight. Yeah.

I think I brought in some strong competitors, though. I hope so. Plus, I kind of know what you know and don't know, and all the questions are about things you don't know. I'm kidding! It's totally fair. Oh, fuck. This podcast is about math now?

Because we all know math. Math Hernandez. Alright, so Jamie, what did you bring for the prize bag, dude? Alright, I brought two Star Wars pins and a mug. Nice! These were acquired at Disney World today? Yes. Nice. That's very cool.

I'm gonna hang on to one of these. I never wear pins that are this big. Like, Jeff has a lot of little pins on his coat and stuff. He already turned it down. Yeah, yeah. It just feels weird to that are this big. Jeff has a lot of little pins on his coat and stuff. He already turned it down. I said he didn't need one. It just feels weird to wear something this big. It just feels more like it says I'm lost on it or something.

That's the kind of pin you have if you have to emergency give your dog some water. Plus this thing's covered in spoilers. Yeah. Oh, man. It'd be funny, a pin of just a bunch of dead characters. But, boy, I just keep hearing such good things about it. I kind of almost don't want to see it tonight just to kind of savor knowing that it's out and it's good. People like it.

But I'll probably go tonight. I've been avoiding social media to just avoid spoilers, but yeah, I'm going to go Saturday. I like it. So just stay off the internet. Yeah, you're going to all of tomorrow, you're going to stay off the internet. I even sort of heard someone talking.

I just don't, yeah. Just block it out. Don't be around anyone talking about anything. Just avoid all conversations, because they'll just suddenly slip it in there. Can't believe they killed Jar Jar. No one would say it like that. They'd say, I can't.

I can't be less excited. I can't believe they waited this long to get a car jar. He has a two-minute cameo just so they can murder him. Oh, that'd be so great. That'd be so wonderful. I'd love that. Before the credits, get it over with quick. Just pull that Band-Aid and go.

Well, I think it would be great if he died. Mesa wants you to shut up now. We walked by the Christmas carolers and Warwick Davis was doing the stories in between. What? Yeah, and I was hoping that he was the other guest. The leprechaun? Sorry, when I saw you backstage, I was very let down.

What? You're like the opposite of Warwick Davis. I'm like Warwick Davis if he ate like a Mario mushroom or got stretched out. But also kept most of his thickness. Alright, Matt, what do you got? Oh, we're doing this. Okay? Oh, we're doing this. Okay, that's right.

Yeah, we're doing this. I brought a great book called Fart Sounds, The Reason Why Jokes Are Funny. Zuri Irvin wrote, he interviewed a bunch of great comics. I'm in here, Mike Lawrence, Sam Morrell, a bunch of great comics, really good. And also I brought a koozie, one of my slap koozies. No, Jeff Tate's not in there.

But he's also really good. Maybe he'll do... Nope. He's not going to find... That's why Jeff doesn't read books because he's never in them. That's true. He just puts on a really short book on tape

during the shower. I try to convince him Paddington is based on him But he didn't buy it Oh, can we get you a raincoat? I like jackets, man You can get me any kind of jacket you want Alright, pass that stuff down here Should we read the joke on the koozie Or have we read it on the podcast before?

We've read it so many times It's up to you. Oh, you'll like it. It's a solid joke on the koozie. His name tag is he changed Dolphin Tail 2 to Stephen Tail 2. That's a lazy pun. Mostly in that it's not a pun at all.

He's in the movie. Oh, really? He follows it up with he's in the movie. Are you the dolphin? No, he's the tail. Is Dolphin Tail 2, is it a different dolphin or the same dolphin has problems still? Same shitty dolphin? Same shitty dolphin! His slap arm thing says,

I always cut my six-pack rings so they don't choke any dolphins. If I'm going to choke a dolphin, I'll do it with my bare hands. That's a solid joke, worth repeating. Thanks, man. Even if it's going to make Steven cry. Jeff, what'd you bring? I thought I brought two magazines, but apparently I dropped one of them on the way over.

There's just a magazine on the sidewalk of International Drop, is it out in front of Ice Bar, you think? Maybe. Because we peeked into Ice Bar, like who would go in there? I was so, when you described it to me, I was so shocked that I just dropped one of my magazines. You mean it's just cold? Yeah, it's like a regular bar, but cold.

They make it really cold in there. Anyway, so there's an Entertainment Weekly out there somewhere. And I got the Vanity Fair. I read these on the flight yesterday. Or two, whatever. And a copy of my last album. Jeff Tate again. I signed the front.

You're really not going to make another album? What's that? You're really not going to make another album? It's your last album? Oh, yeah. There you go.

Right? That's one of those eat shoots and leaves things, right, where I got... My previous album, my most recently released album. Yeah, I don't want to hear about your most recent release. It's disgusting. Is there somebody here that is in, like, that is a publicist that can help me figure out how to explain when this album came out?

This is my most recent album. This is my most recent album. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you. You did it. Solved that problem right away. All right, pass that stuff down here. All right, so all of that's

going in the prize bag, but before we get into... Autograph, too. By what? Oh, Jeff. By Jeff. I got excited maybe this Vanity Fair had a

Chris Pratt signature on it or something. We'll start with you, Jamie. The question I always ask everybody is what was the last movie you saw? You've been busy at Disney World, but have you seen a movie in the last little while? Yeah, I watched Spider-Man Homecoming.

On a device? Yeah, on the Roku stick on the tour bus. I bet you got a nice TV on the tour bus. It's pretty nice, yeah. It's not bad. Yeah, it is. What did you think of that movie? Loved it. Yeah, it's a good one.

It was great. Oh, yeah. Probably top ten Marvels for me, maybe. I would agree, yeah. I know it came out back in June, but I'm catching up now on the movie. Have you seen Thor Ragnarok? No, I haven't. Oh, man!

I know. I heard it's awesome. I'd say fucking skip Spider-Man. Really? Get right to Thor Ragnarok. But they're both good. But I like Thor more because for a Marvel movie, it's pretty silly. Yeah, I heard it's like a straight comedy.

Jeff Goldblum's a weirdo. Oh, here we go. We got a beverage for Matt. Is that for me? Oh, I didn't even have to ask. Heather, you're the best. That is so nice. Shout out to Heather.

Give it up louder! Yeah, Heather! Yeah, be sure to tip all the staff here well tonight because they're not seeing Star Wars either. They're here doing this. Torture. Matt, what was the last movie you saw? I watched Atomic Blonde last night.

Not really. What? If you want to hear Charlize Theron whisper for two hours, that's the movie for you. Yeah, she doesn't raise her voice much, but she raises those fists and beats the shit out of a bunch of people. There's some great fight scenes. And there's a girl on girl sex scene.

It's like a movie I would have made when I was nine. I mean, I wasn't that into all the dialogue scenes. Oh, the story? Yeah, because it's terrible. I saw it a couple times, though, because every time she fights somebody, it's way too cool. There's some great fight scenes. I can't take that away. If you just want to turn your brain off. I wish she was more of a Lady John Wick.

I wish she was a little less story. A Jane Wick, if you will. There's no story. There's really no story. John Goodman seems displeased. The whole movie is an interview. The whole movie is a podcast. With some fight scenes.

She's all dry and quiet. I kept waiting for her to open her legs like Sharon Stone. Not that that's something Sharon Stone does all the time. She made a movie a long time ago. We all remember A-Mind. And that reputation has stuck. Jeff, what'd you get in movie-wise since last night? I didn't have a lot of time.

Yeah, you're busy reading and dropping magazines everywhere. Yes, that took up most of my walk. Last night, after the 12 guests, I went back to where I was staying and I turned on the TV, the Apple TV. I went to the Showtime app because they have Showtime.

I don't. And I was like, first movie I haven't seen. I'm going to watch. And it was American Outlaws starring Colin Farrell and Scott Kahn. And it's a Jesse James movie. And it was not, I mean, it wasn't as bad as Atomic Blonde, but it's fucking moron. The guy's like, Charlize Theron whispered.

You don't have a volume control in your TV, buddy? You're not whispering right now. Yeah. You're speaking in a normal human voice. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah.

I mean, I don't understand. Maybe you're just... I can watch Nicolas Cage movies anytime I want, all right? The point is, American Outlaws was not great. I wanted to like it, too, because I was watching it, you know? Like, I didn't want it to be bad. I kept hoping.

Any minute now. There was some cool stuff on trains. You know what? I take it back. It was alright. I remember the train stuff. I'm a fan of anything that apparently Westerns and trains.

Yeah. I like Colin Farrell. I don't know what the big deal is. Wait. You don't know why people don't like him or why they do like him? You said I like him like there's a lot of Colin Farrell hate out there or something. Maybe it's just in my circle of friends.

I got a lot of anti-Colin Farrell folk around me. He was the title character in The Lobster. People like that. Cool people like that movie. I haven't seen it. It's creepy as fuck yeah see when people say it's creepy that's when i don't want to watch it creepy is the one thing i can't get by or get behind well i like fake westerns sorry to break this to you jeff but Creepy. I mean, you've already seen a porg, haven't you? Those things are nightmarish.

I don't know what that is. Really? Yeah. It's that thing that goes... Chewbacca? It kind of looks like a seal. It's a mogwai with a meth habit. But it's a porg. It's a lot of porg merch. Is there a a porg. It's a lot of porg merch.

Is there a lot of porg merch? A lot of porg merch. Yeah, people don't even know what it is yet, and the merch is everywhere. Is it that bird-looking penguin thing? Yes. Yeah. Those things are fantastic. I love them.

Best stuffed animal I've seen? I can't wait to see the movie they made around it. Around that merch. I love't wait to see the movie they made around it. Around that merch, right? I love all movies based on merch. Trolls, Battleship. Right? Anytime the merch came first and then they make the movie, Clue.

I'm a big fan of merch first movies. I'm trying to think of one. G.I. Joe? What one? G.I. Joe. G.I. Joe one G.I. Joe What one? G.I. Joe G.I. Joe G.I. Joe I mean this is straight out of my act

Is there a Barbie movie? Yeah Should there be a movie? I think there was Or there isn't gonna be It's not for us No it's probably gonna be very I bet it's gonna be really progressive

What about My Little Pony? Did you see that? I did not No, it's probably going to be very, I bet it's going to be really progressive. What about My Little Pony? Did you see that? I did not. No, I did when I was a kid. I saw it in a double feature with Space Camp. No, but there is a. With Bobby Prevost.

There's a new Little Pony this year, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, like a reboot? It's weird how many people knew that. No, it's not weird. It's not weird because it's supposed to be good. It's supposed to be like adults could watch it.

What? Is this a live action? That one adult can watch it over there. My Little Pony? Are you a brony? I wasn't assuming your gender or anything. Or a Janie. Is that how

you do it? Nope. That is not how you do it. That's not how you do it. That's not how you do it at all. I watched a little bit of a Netflix movie that's getting some buzz. It just got nominated for Best Ensemble in a movie by the SAG Awards,

and it's a movie called Mudbound. Yeah. Have you seen that? Yeah. Yeah, it's got a lot of racists in it, but... But I was telling Jeff about it. I said Mary Kay Blige is in it. Mary Kay. One of those is wrong.

One of those names is incorrect. Because now she's out selling cosmetics now, apparently. James is incorrect. Because now she's out selling cosmetics now, apparently. But she's good, and the movie's good so far. I haven't seen the whole thing, but it's all right. Carrie Mulligan, I like that lady. She's a good actress. What else is she in?

Oh, you'll find out later when we play Last Man Stanton. Ah, shit. Damn it. Now that I found a weak spot. Yeah. Fuck. What else has she been in, Jeff? Oh, I'm going to wait for the game, man.

I'm not going to give you the answers. Right now, I mean, I got a streak going. 1-0. You did have to take down 11 people So that was Well in fairness That was impressive Seven of them took themselves down

Not everybody can be as great as you are At the games Jeff But I'm gonna try to make you lose Yes I appreciate that And since we're on the topic I might as well say it. Turn the show off, Bert.

Let the games begin! We got some bonkers name tags out there. Lots of them. You guys always have very impressive name tags. And you do a lot of yelling during this part. So we're going to go to a brief commercial message. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by The Shape of Water

from Fox Searchlight and visionary filmmaker Guillermo del Toro comes the highly anticipated and critically acclaimed film The Shape of Water in theaters now. With an all-star cast including Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Michael Stolberg, and Doug Jones, The Shape of Water is an otherworldly fable that is part love story, part espionage thriller, part fantasy, and 100% 100 original this film is a stunning and beautiful cinematic

vision that must be experienced in theaters not to mention it was the winner of the golden lion for the best film at the venice film festival and is currently at 98 certified fresh on rotten tomatoes and it is already getting a lot of buzz as part of the awards season conversation, especially for director Guillermo del Toro and lead actress Sally Hawkins. Don't miss The Shape of Water, nominated for seven Golden Globes, and now playing in select theaters. All right, we're back. That's impressive. That is...

All right, use your mic voice there, Matt. Sorry. That's impressive. Right? I had to. That is... Nice. I had to. All right, use your mic voice there, Matt. Sorry. That's okay. And Jamie, tell us about... You can bring the house lights down now. I don't want to look at everybody. Are they bringing them down slowly, or is... Do I need my glaucoma medication?

Okay, thanks. There are two dudes in the booth trying to figure out how to work the lights. There you go. It's not a good sign. It's like the nuclear codes. You have to have two guys. You got to turn a key. They each put a hand on one knob.

It's a Roy Moore supporter. He's like, leave them on. Fuck them. Seriously. It's a Roy Moore supporter. He's like, leave him on. Fuck him. Seriously, is there anybody here that would have voted for Roy Moore if he lived in? Good answer. That's the perfect answer. That's for later. You know how that works.

If you lose, I'll say a shithead. Okay. Yeah, on behalf of the person you played for. Right. So they get a little something for their trouble. Came all the way from Tampa or whatever. St. Pete. That was me.

Into the beer! Sometimes he's talking to your beer. Alright. Jeff, you need to loosen up and have more fun. Jamie, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Greg. Oh, look at that. Look at that service.

Is it two Gregs or one that we're playing? Is it two Gregs that we're playing for here? Okay. Or Greg S? Yeah, you put an S on there because it's Star Wars, so he's Star Gregs.

You got Nikki Glaser front and center there. Did you think she was going to show up? I thought that was Kristen Bell. That's why I did it. Jeff looks really good on that. That's a really good Photoshop job, Mark Wahlberg. Jeff looks like a young Kenny Rogers in that. Look at that.

Yeah. It's confirmed. And then he left Mark Hamill alone up there. That's regular Mark Hamill. All right, good job, Greg. Hang on, let me see that for a sec. All right. Good job, Greg.

Hang on. Let me see that for a sec. See why you have to sit there holding it. Why do you guys get drink stools? Well, she brought one out. You just don't want to share your stool. I jumped on it. Do you have a drink? Oh, I can't share it with you because later I have to write on it.

I have to keep track of the games and stuff. I'll pass you a drink. Where's your drink? I have to be the quiz master over here. I want to write on it. Okay, yeah, you're right. I have to keep track of the games and stuff. I'll pass you a drink. Where's your drink? I have to be the quiz master over here. I want to hear about this. Don't worry about these fucking people. I want to hear about this shadow box. I'll help you out.

Guys, this is part of the show. This is taking it to the next level of... I immediately had to take this. It is impressive. Yeah. It's Jumanji. And it has you with a monocle. Yes.

That's you. Oh, and you're on here too, bro. Yeah, buddy. We're here. Fuck yeah. And it's based on the latest Jumanji movie? I think it's based on Battleship. It's based on the board game.

No, it's based on the good Jumanji. Wait a second. Let's back up. First of all, What? The Rock is going to be our next president. Oh, you want to see a video game, Jumanji? Get the fuck out of here.

No, I mean, that is a funny hill to die on because I've heard a lot of people say, it's not a board game anymore. Now it's a video game. Yeah, it's fucking 2017. They had video games when the first one came out. There were video games when the first... Why would you make a movie about kids playing a fucking board game? There were video games when the first one came out. Right, but they weren't there yet.

It was like... Oh, but they're there now. Board games were still a thing. And the first Jumanji has some of the shittiest effects in any movie ever. I'm not here to argue about that, alright? You got me there. I'm just not a big fan of the first Jumanji, so I say, go ahead.

Fucking make another one. Also, I just think the premise of all the characters being in other bodies looks fun. Okay. You feel the opposite, apparently. We are on opposite ends of the spectrum on this one. You feel differently about it, but I enjoy Jack Black a lot.

Yeah, I don't hate the cast. I like the rocket. Who doesn't like those? Kevin Hart? Oh, no. But they're playing the kinds of roles that in a lot of classic motion pictures and comedies is where someone that looks one way has something else going on inside of them,

like the classic Steve Martin movie where Lily Tomlin was in him, All of Me, that kind of thing. We are different ages. People don't do that. That's the problem here. Now I just figured it out. I know, I know.

You're too young to know who the fuck Steve Martin is. I don't know what movie you're talking about. What? That's why if you sit there and listen while I tell you about it, you'll learn something. I'm listening. Go on. Instead of just going, I wasn't born yet.

I don't know. Doesn't exist if I wasn't alive yet. So the guy's name is Joe. Oh, this guy. Yeah. I think so. Thank you. What's the back of it all about? The back of it.

It's a very complicated shithead on the back. Yeah, don't read that. But it's very involved. There's something in there too. It's heavy. Is there weed in there? Joe? Joe! Is there weed in there? Okay. There's there weed in there? Okay. There's not weed in there.

Thanks, Joe. Jeff Sleepy. I don't know why that guy yelled out Jeff Sleepy That's the actor he wants us to play in Last Man Standing Alright, name all the Jeff Sleepy movies you can Who are you playing for, Jeff? I'm playing for Lindsay She made Star Wars, The Lindsay Jedi.

Great big poster. I'm very, the picking of the name tags part is the most stressful because I'm always going to disappoint virtually everybody. But this one is a giant poster of the movie we're going to see after and I'm going to take this with me.

And I'm going to go into the movie like this. They'll be like, I want two, please. Yeah, we really should have gotten tickets. It's probably going to be pretty popular tonight. They'll have to let us in, man. I got one of the stars of the

poster. That was pretty two out of three Star Wars from the audience. Were there more Star Wars that didn't get picked? Right there? There was a few. That was smart.

The Phantom Jenny. Don't make a prequel one. No one's going to pick the prequel one. Jacob could have been here. Could happen. They put Sean Jordan on the Star Greggs. He's not here. But it's not his fault that he's not here.

He died. The shittiest way to give the news to everybody. Yeah, your bedside manner's not great, but he did die. And what bed am I sitting near in that scenario? That was a metaphor. Doctors have bedside manner. Doug will always explain it to you in case you don't get it. Jeff, go take another baby shower.

He's like Forrest Gump's mom. You're out of here. Hit the baby showers. Rory Moore will be in there too. Now you're getting it. I love that he's here with the dolphin guy. What an odd couple. This needs to be a television show.

Oh, they're brothers. From other mothers? Same mother. Oh, different dads. I knew there was something up. Oh, shit. I'll look for the guy without sleeves. The sleeves aren't genetic, you fucking idiot.

Kind of they are. Kind of. Oh, look, they must be father and son. Their shirts are the same. Are you sleeveless under that jacket? I'm sleeveless if you keep going down layers at some point. We're all sleeveless. Aren't we all?

I want you guys to leave that guy alone. He's just here being high. I like that there's a few people with little Santa or elf hats, depending on how you like to look at it. I always find that adorable when people do that. Anyway, I don't know why I had to mention it.

You're in the holiday spirit, Doug. Yeah. You're festive. I gotta get my hands on one of those and wear it. Human skin? What are we talking about? There you go. Oh, the hat. Look at that.

Nice. Immediately, lice. Did you say nice or lice? They're not mutually exclusive. That looks lice. Did you say nice or lice? They're not mutually exclusive. That looks nice. Oh, it looks nice? Wait, all you had to do was say, hang on, boy, I really want to wear

one of those throwback Penny Hardaway jerseys sometime. Black with a white pinstripe? Yeah. Put on that big Star Wars pin and they're going to let you right in. Can you imagine just walking up? Oh shit,

I think Star Wars is here. Quick, we gotta find a place for Star Wars to sit. Everybody starts tucking in their shirts and standing up straight. Oh, fuck. Star Wars is here. Hey, Jeff, did I ever show you what happens when you graduate from elf school? You did not.

Oh, man. What you guys don't know about me that Doug does know is that I'm a huge fan of mortarboard humor. Like any of that. Oh, man, I love it. I love it so much. I mean, everybody graduates, right? So everybody gets

that joke. Some people here didn't graduate and they're so pissed right now. No, they don't, Doug. I did get to do that when I got my GED. Oh, Florida. No!

I live here. I can say that. All right, let's play some games. Yeah! Finally! Did you explain to him how all this works? I made him listen on the ride. You made him listen?

Oh my God, I bet you he was riveted. That's why he looks so pissed. Yeah. Ever since we got here, he just looks to me like he's mad they took his crossbow at the door. Oh my god. Alright, so... Let's play a round of Characters Welcome. This is a game where I name characters

that are on the list of credits at the end of a movie. Not the actors who play them, just the characters. And you guys can guess as often as you'd like. And whoever says the correct full title first wins this game. Gets to go first in the next game. That's all you win. So don't get too excited, but it's still important.

What movie, and no audience guesses, please, because you guys are going to know this right away. What movie has a character named Sly Moore? Okay, not going to stop there. I got more. This movie's also got a character named Captain Colton. Galaxy Quest. Captain Colton. Galaxy Quest. Captain Colton?

People are making a lot of noise out there at Eat Fish Drink or whatever it's called. Yeah, yeah. It's my favorite. It's a restaurant based on the Julia Roberts film. Right? Someone just got the bill. Oh!

There was only four scallops! This movie's got a character in it named Senator Orn Free Ta. Orn Frita? Ornfrita? Ornfrita.

There's also a character named Tertaniel. Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones. There's a character named Commander Cody. Governor Tarkin. Star Wars, A New Hope. Star Wars, The Last Jedi. Captain Typho. Star Trek.

Rogue One, A Star Wars Story. This is one of my favorites. Count Dooku is in this movie. Star Wars Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith. That is correct! Oh! We've also got Mace Windu, Anakin Skywalker, Padme. Padme just is her first name on there.

I don't know why they give her a last name. Yoda. He's got a last name too, doesn't he? Johnson. Padme Smith and Yoda Johnson. And finally, I was going to say Obi-Wan Kenobi if you guys weren't there yet. But yeah, Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith. So Jeff has done it again.

The streak continues. All right. Well, this was an easy one, Doug. Thanks a lot. I'll let you order anything you want from Eat Fish Blue. But only on the app side. Just one app. Get the pickle chips.

Can I get the sampler? Can I cheat and get the sampler? I do not like that character you were just playing. All right. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Now, I'm going to go out to one audience member to suggest an actor or an actress for all of us to take turns.

Give it to him, dude. He deserves it. He was like, I just wanted to go to Eat Fish Glue. He looks like a beaten down man. Give him something to live for. He's doing all right. He's having a nice time. Easy, Doug.

Well, I think there's something you could do about his nice time, Matt. Wait, what does that mean? What does that mean? I'm not going to blow him, all right? This ain't Mexico. No, what I mean is, what I meant was something you can stop doing that would affect his nice time. I still don't know what that means. What I mean is just leave him alone.

Doug did it, not me. Let the man drink his Budweiser in peace. Oh, God, he is drinking a Budweiser. Yeah, it's only $4.75, dude. Are you Captain America? Let's go around and make fun of everybody's choices. What's with that fucking water? What are you, some sort of dehydrated person?

What are you, trying to live or something? Show off. All right, so... I'm not going to go to him, because he barely knows what's happening. No, I've preselected two people because I'm going to get the first name from somebody, and then I'm going to look at you guys,

and if any of you look panicked at all, then I'm going to get a second name. And if on that second name, naming movies from those two actors, if that's not enough for you, there's no more I can do. Yeah, that's cool. What's happening, Steve? I said you missed it,

they made fun of Connor a little bit more. Oh, you missed it? The whole show, they made fun of, his name is Carl? Connor! Oh, thank God. Oh my God. Yeah, that reminds me. Where's Carl? Carl!

Did you make this, Connor? The Con Air is fantastic. It's way better than the Stephen tale. Get that back, get that back. All right, so... I pre-selected a couple of people off of Twitter. Where is the one you call Fizz? There you are.

Hey. How's it going? I'm supposed to call you Fizz? That's what everybody calls you? Yeah, you said you're the one they call Fizz. Gotta be completely honest in a Twitter name.

Are you here with Plop Plop? Ha! Ha! Are you gonna finish this? No, no. I'm already too wired. Glad you're here, Fizz, whatever length it is. You're welcome.

First, you drop Con Air. Then... Then... Thanks, dude. My monster. All right, sorry. Someone's going home with a wet bag. In addition to Jeff. Sorry, I forgot you got a right on that.

I don't even know what that means. But Connor's really cleaning up nicely. Do you want a job here? Jeff is so pissed. Oh, he's got a good point. There's electrical, there's Christmas decorations here. So it's a good thing you did that. Oh, you're talking about my boomstick?

The word sticks. The things that make us talk. The sound ice cream cone. The pointy... The pointy noisemakers. Those things. Ah! Jeff.

Jeff. That's my guy. Jeff is joining the boys club to be his big brother. Oh, shit. That's my guy. The things that make you talk as someone who sometimes can't remember the words of a...

What's in your hand? This isn't going well. I get this guy, and I like it. He's gonna be a sponsor in Rednecks Anonymous. Hey, wait a second. Wait. Why am I a redneck? Rednecks Anonymous,

they're not even sure. They say, hi, my name is Connor and I might be a redneck. And then that's when I go, hang on, I have a few questions. Do you, in your front yard, well, then you might be.

How about, how many TVs do you have stacked up? Well, then you might be. Man, you see them guys talking into their magic wands? That shit was crazy. Their voices were like a ghost filling the whole room. Could hear it from every direction. They surrounded me with noises. The mouth noises got all around me.

All right, you guys, we got to talk to Fizz some more. Because Fizz wants to suggest, he wrote to me on Twitter, he's all fired up, says he's got a great suggestion for Last Man Stanton. So what is it, Fizz wants to suggest, he wrote to me on Twitter, he's all fired up, says he's got a great suggestion for Last Man Stanton. So what is it, Fizz? Steven Seagal. Steven Seagal. So I'm looking around. All right, what do you guys think? Do you need a second name,

or do you feel confident with Steven Seagal? Which one? Second name. Yeah, because Steven Seagal is making movies around the same time as Steve Martin. So that's probably before your extensive knowledge. But thank you, Fizz, for that name. And is there any particular reason you brought him up? Your brother loves him.

Does he have a ponytail? We've got a lot of weird pairs of brothers here tonight. You guys used to play board games together. If you're opposites. It's two for one if you're opposites. We used to play board games and watch Steven Seagal movies together. Yeah, back during the Great Depression.

We used to just... We only had 80 channels. Steven Seagal's gonna find out about this. He's gonna kick all our fucking asses. If he gets off a couch. Well done. Okay. Where is Dat Slothboy?

Boy is spelled B-O-Y. He's raising his hand so slowly right now. Ooh. Where is he? Is it a he? Why are you called Dat Sloth Boy? Because you're slow? I knew it.

Alright. And what do you think we should do in addition to Steven Seagal? Keanu Reeves. Well, that is... If that one had come up first, we probably would have just done that. Way better.

But I like the mix. I like doing Steven Seagal and Keanu Reeves. And Jeff will start us off. Then we'll go to Matt and then Jamie and then me. I like to play along. Could you talk louder right in front of me? They're working out their bill. Do we get to work with our teammate?

What's that? Do we get to work with the guy? You get one lifeline. You can go to Joe Mangi once. And Jamie can go to Greg once, and Jeff? Under Siege. What's the name of the person you're playing for?

Oh, Lindsay, but I'm not going to need the lifeline. Are you officially declining your lifeline? Because I will take it away from you. Yeah. Okay, no lifeline. He's on his own. Heather. Yeah.

Exciting. All right, Matt. Heather. Matt. Am I first? No, Jeff was first, and he said under siege. Oh, Matt. Heather! Matt, am I first? No, Jeff was first, and he said Under Siege. Oh, sorry. The Matrix.

Yeah. Are we doing Steven Seagal or Keanu Reeves? We're doing... What's so hard to follow? You're acting like you've never been on the show before. Yeah, it's Steven Seagal and Keanu Reeves. And so we got Under Siege for Steven, The Matrix for Keanu, Jamie?

Marked for Death. Oh, interesting one. I thought you might have said... Anyway. I'm not going to do it either. I'm going to leave it out there and say

On Deadly Ground. Good one. leave it out there and say on deadly ground. Good one. Good environmental message in that one. Is that the one? The environment one? So that's the one where he shoots

the candle at the gas station? And murders the environment? No, like Randy Travis puts gas all over the ground and then he throws a candle,

and Steven Seagal shoots the candle out. And that's it? Yeah, I mean, it's... But the bullet would have set off the fucking gas, too. Anyway, Randy Travis is in it. What the fuck? Hard to kill. Exit wounds.

Hang on a second. Sorry. Matt. Exit wounds. Jamie. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Davey. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

I'll go with Above the Law. Oh, God. Oh, I was going to say Scanner Darkly. Scanner Darkly? Matt? Under Siege 2, Darkanner Darkly. Matt? Under Siege 2, Dark Territory. It's like Under Siege 1, but on a train. So it's a little better.

Jamie? Constantine. Ooh. Johnny Mnemonic. Ooh. And then he got older and became, you know, more of a grown man and decided to just go by John Wick. Matt? John Wick. Matt? John Wick Chapter Two.

It's one of my favorite books. Books are like movies, but they were from before now. I brought a book for the gift bag. Yeah, okay, so you gave away a book. You analyzed it and decided you weren't in it. Yep. Shit book. Jamie?

Point break. What'd you just look at? I wasn't cheating. Why? Do you have a list of answers there for Steven Seagal and Keanu? No, he's writing down the ones that have been said already. It was just such an interesting point break. Like, you looked very specifically somewhere.

Not the remake. No. No, point break. I got it. I the remake. No. No, point break. I got it. I am an FBI agent. Knock, knock. Who's there? Yeah.

Is the name of a movie that Keanu Reeves is in? That movie is unsettling. You were one of three people that saw that movie. It's creepy. Three of the four of us have seen it. He gets tortured by a couple of hot ladies. It's pretty entertaining. Was Scott

Khan in it? Is that why you saw it? No, that's why I didn't bring it up. I was terrified, but I also had an erection. We're all scared now. So nobody said Matrix Reloaded? No. Yeah. Someone should.

Anyway, my Matrix Reloaded. Matt. Keanu. He's the cat. Right. He is? Yeah. He plays the title.

He plays the title character. He's the title role. Yeah. Oh, you can make sounds all you want. Google it. Jamie, did you see Keanu? Yeah. Yeah, there's a part where the cat talks,

and it's Keanu Reeves' voice. Oh, right. It's not a movie you see sober. I get it. Shit, now I just forgot what I was going to say. It was a good Steven Seagal movie, too. Oh, yeah? Shit.

Do you want to go to your lifeline? Yes, Greg. Greg. 47 Ronin. Yes. 47 Ronin. Yes. 47 Ronin. Good one. I like it.

That's a good one. Man, I think something's got to give. Parenthood. Parenthood, yes. That movie starred Steve Martin and was from 40 hundred years ago. It was just a play. It was before movies. They traveled around the Old West.

You done? Speed. Shit. Shit. You got a lifeline if you want to If you want to use it He already used it He didn't go to Greg yet Yeah he did

He got 47 Ronin from Greg No I don't remember it that way No I'm joking Don't do it. I was joking around. Was Keanu in Speed 2? You're on your own now. Well, you'd have to know the full title.

Speed 2 Electric Boogaloo. And he's not in it. Shit. Yeah, it's called Speed 2 Cruise Control. Fuck. Yeah, Tom Cruise isn't even in it. Don't ever see it. Yeah, it's not good at all. Shit. Yeah, it's called Speed 2 Cruise Control. Fuck. It's not good. Don't ever see it. Yeah, it's not good at all. Boats are not as exciting as buses

as it turns out. So you're out, dude? I'm out. Alright, we still have one more game to play, so you're not completely out. Okay. You're going to have to wait a second for us to get done with this. Sorry, Greg.'re going to have to wait a second for us to get done with this. He seems all right with it. Maybe Doug will give you one of the big pins.

Do what, huh? Maybe you give him one of the big pins. Yeah, there are two of them. Yeah. That sounds like great consolation prize. You're festive. Plus, you haven't lost yet. Okay, all right, all right, all right. Just this one game, yeah.

You will eventually, but... Shit. Oh, shit. Oh, um... I'm gonna to go with The Lake House The Replacements Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

That's a good one. I'm going to take a chance on something and maybe fuck it up. But might as well get this over with. Was Seagal in a movie called Cadillac Man? No, that's Tim Robbins and Robin Williams. Right. Okay, I'm out. Okay, I guess I gotta go with Cadillac Man.

Oh, shit. Executive Decision. That's what I was thinking of. Matt to the bone. Ooh. Who's in that? Keanu. No, not DMX. It sounds like a DMX movie.

You're right. Jeff. The Glimmer Man. That's seriously what I was thinking of when I said Cadillac Man. The Glitter Man. Oh, shit. How's it going, Matt? Oh, I can go to fucking Joe

We're going to Joe Hit me Machete My man What? What? Machete Yeah machete

Oh Seagal Seagal's in machete? Okay Jeff Feeling Minnesota Minnesota is a girl that Roy Mara met at the mall I thought it was a girl that Roy Mara met at the mall. Did anyone say The Matrix Revolutions?

Nope. Oh, yeah, I'll take that one. Okay. Oh, yeah, it's me again. My own private Idaho. Jeff's going to do all the states I got one oh all right you guys are cool if he gets back in, right? Yeah, I don't mind.

Lindsay's really looking forward to those magazines. It's just one. The other one's on the street somewhere. No, keep talking. Was Steven Seagal in The Expendables 3? Ooh. Was he? He was in one of them. No.

I don't remember which one it was, though. Jeff? I'm going to say no, he wasn't. Was he in one of them? Yeah, now it's your turn. Oh, Street Kings. Oh your turn. Oh, um... Street Kings. Oh, shit.

Oh, okay. Well done. But which Expendables do you think he was in? Because he's in one, isn't he? No, I don't think he's in any of them. He's never been in one? Really? No, yeah, yeah.

He doesn't get along with all those other guys? He's, like, salty about it. Oh, okay. Yeah. There's a movie with Keanu Reeves and Cate Blanchett. Who knows what I'm talking about No you beautiful woman Yeah Katie Holmes

That's okay I already lost but thank you Hilary Swank What was the one you thought of Jamie Devil's Advocate God damn it Yeah yeah yeah What else did we miss Hardball Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What else did we miss? Vampires! Vampires!

Dracula! Dracula! It's like a bunch of porgs in here. Vampires! Vampires! Vampires! Oh, Bram Stoker's. I love you to death. Yeah, he's the...

He got Constantine. Sweet November. Dracula! Dracula! We said all the Matrixes. Yeah. We did. Bram Stoker's Dracula is a good one. That's the best one I've heard so far.

Yeah, we said Parenthood. A Walk in the Clouds. That's a solid. I hate that I love that movie. The Onion movie. What? What? Much Ado About Nothing.

Much Ado About Nothing. Oh. Keanu. You yell it like it's a lot to do about something. Hardball. He's in a movie called Hardball. Yeah, I said that just a few moments ago. I mean, yeah.

Constantine was already said. I think we did pretty good. The Day the Earth Stood Still, yes. Clad Borado, Nick 2. Chain Reaction. Morgan Freeman. We said the replacements. Okay, I don't want to do this anymore because you keep yelling out

things we already said. Obviously everyone forgets what's happened so far. But Jeff won another game! Gonna have to start bringing in some real ringers in the rest of this tour. I'm trying, Joe. I really am, I swear. Got to get somebody to take you down, Jeff.

But we're going to play one more game, so you all have a chance at winning tonight and winning the prizes for somebody, because we're going to play Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game. Jeff gets to go first, but you each get a chance to go first because we have three rounds. I'm going to name an actor or actress.

You each, when I come to you, get to pick one movie that you think might be in their top three of all time at the box office after being adjusted for inflation according to boxofficemojo.com. Jeff. What order were we going in for? Okay, so we'll go Jeff and then Jamie and then Matt. Jeff, the films of Daniel Day-Lewis.

Jeff, the films of Daniel Day-Lewis. While you're thinking, I'll be over here drinking your milkshake. Thanks. Thank you. There was a moment there where it's safe to say he never did a movie with Seagal. So safe to say that.

He's barely done movies with anybody that is a box office draw. The Gangs of New York. There's a gentleman over here that thinks that's a good one. Thanks, Martin. It's Scorsese's here. I call him Martin. I don Scorsese's here. I call him Martin. I don't know him that well. Marty.

People call him Marty. We're not there yet in our relationship. I just graduated from Mr. Scorsese. I like how Zach Galifianakis in Birdman goes Martin Scorsese and they couldn't say cut because the scenes are ten minutes long Jamie

my left foot. Okay. Nikki's got your back. And Matt? Lincoln. Coming in at number three, for Daniel Day-Lewis, I didn't even know he was in this movie.

Apparently he shows up in Gandhi. I know, right? He's in there. And then he's definitely in the number two movie because he has a very good speech in that movie about I will find you, the last of the Mohicans. No matter where you go, I will find you. Doesn't sound anything like that.

And coming in at number one is Lincoln! Lincoln! So Matt is racing off into the lead on this one with his three points. And Jamie and Jeff are here. And Jamie, you get to go first on this next one. The films of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Fuck, didn't we do this on the last episode I was on?

Maybe. Fuck. With the one where he jerks off too much and the whole fucking thing. That could be a lot of them. 500 days of jerking off. Okay, but it's got to be adjusted for inflation? Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, it's tricky. All right. But generally, you just want to try to hone in for inflation? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, it's tricky. All right. But generally, you just want to try to hone in on what their biggest hit was. Dark Knight. You piece of shit. I mean, good job. Now, is that...

Hang on, Matt. Is that your final answer, Jamie? The Dark Knight? The Dark Knight rises. Is that your final answer? Yes. Okay. Okay.

Combat zero. Matt. Ooh. 50-50? Which is about my chances. I love that movie. It's a great movie. Jeff? Inception.

My second guess. Shit. All right. Coming in at number three, Lincoln. He was the kid. He was the kid he was the son yeah he wanted to go to war but his dad was president didn't want him to go number two

Inception Inception so Jeff's on the board with a couple of points and then the number one JGL The Dark Knight Rises staying alive now we got ourselves a shooting match Matt and Jamie are tied with three police and Jeff is now suddenly the underdog. But Matt gets to go first. Then Jeff and then

Jamie. So Matt, here you go. Sally Field. Steel Magnolias, motherfucker. Oh, shit! Jeff? Smoking the bandit.

Alright. Jamie? Jeff? Smokey and the Bandit. All right. Jamie? Spider-Man. Which one? Full title. Oh, fuck. I mean, you could just say Spider-Man, but that would be wrong.

But, like, which Spider-Man, but that would be wrong. But, like, which Spider-Man? Like, how would you describe him? Oh, no, wait, yeah, Spider-Man would be right. She's in that. Yeah. But that's your final answer? Yes. Okay.

Matt's shaking his head. That's not right Yeah This is an interesting one I don't know, somebody in the audience is saying something loudly And I don't know why They're probably right What'd they say?

Oh yeah, we're done already Forrest Gump was probably number one I don't know why you guys didn't think of that Mostly the weed and beer I don't know why you guys didn't think of that. Mostly the weed and beer. That was so weird, too, because she played Tom Hanks' mother in that, and, like, one year prior to that,

they were in Punchline together as, like, the same age and, like, a love interest, yeah. Hollywood. So sad. It's sad. Coming in at number three, Mrs. Doubtfire! Doubtfire! Yeah! So sad. It's sad. Coming in at number three, Mrs. Doubtfire. Yeah. Number two, though, Smokey and the Bandit. And of course, number one is not Steel Magnolia, motherfuckers.

That's the sequel. I loved how hard you laid into that when it's not even in her top. Might be four, I don't know. But number one is, of course, Forrest Gump, which means that Jeff just narrowly squeaked the lead. He wins with four points. Jeff Tate did it again.

Oh, man. Walk off. Home run. It was an honor. Alright, so where's Lindsay at? Come get your prizes, Lindsay. So excited I'm sorry You read the back of it already?

Yeah yeah Yeah You don't get your shithead read though Because you won That bag full of crap That means you won You're a winner The ball from the hotel lobby

Is one of the best gifts. Right? Yeah. I mean, it's like... So light. It's very light. Let's check out these donuts. Uh-oh. He's going to throw it at us

Who likes pink? Hold stuff up for me to throw this at I promise I will Who likes pink? Hold stuff up for me to throw this at. I promise I will. Who likes pink flavor? Ooh. That's a level 10 out there. Someone just died. Nice sidearm there, Doug.

That's the trick. You got to whip him so you don't hurt anyone. Yeah. I'm sorry. Doug throws it like a Frisbee. Where's that Jeff's asleep guy? Jeff threw his into his mouth. Oh, hey, lightsaber, lightsaber. Knock it out of the air.

Oh, my God. Damn, Doug, you threw an 80-mile-an-hour fastball at him. But congratulations again to Jeff Tate. For those listening at home, Doug is shooting blanks. Why the fuck does it... Oh, is that how it works? You gotta close it? Okay.

I thought maybe the lid was just to keep them all in there. I've never used a gun before where close the lid is part of the instructions. Oh, oh, oh, oh. All right, I'm making it up. It doesn't go past the stage. You're the Peter North of confetti. All right, let's do some plugs. Jeff, what do you got to plug? I'm doing this thing called Take Crazy Nights for the next six nights. We're on night two of the craziest nights of all time.

And then January 12th, I got a new album coming out. It'll be, I think it's on pre-order iTunes now or tomorrow or soon. It's called People Are What People Make Them. And then I'm at Go Bananas in Cincinnati January 4, 5, 6, and 7. Yes. Yes, that's it.

All right, Jeff. See you in Houston. Matt Fernandez, Fat Fernandez on Twitter. Yep, that's me. December 22nd, I'll be at Rock Brothers in Ybor City.

We're doing a charity show. All the money goes to Puerto Rico for Hurricane Relief. If you want to come. Also, since we're Orlando, in the first week of March, the Orlando Indie Comedy Fest happens. You should all buy tickets.

They've had Kyle Kinane, Eddie Pepitone. I highly recommend it, just because we're in the city. Thank you and good night. Signing off. I'll be there. Jamie, what's going on with you You're in more than one band right Yes and I have a podcast network GasDigitalNetwork.com

If anybody wants to check it out we have comedy, music Tons of other stuff And I have a live podcast December 23rd In St. Louis at Blueberry Hill. Two shows. One with Don Jameson and one with Howard Jones, who used to be in Killswitch Engage if there's any metal fans in the house.

And yeah, Hatebreed will be on tour next year. HatebreedVIP.com And I have a Jasta show Toad's Place, New Haven, January 13th Alright Thank you very much Thank you, Doug

One more time for Jamie, Jasta, Matt Fernandez And Jeff Tate Here Can you hand me your Joe Mangi? Thank you. Go as slow as possible, guys. No, I know. What?

Okay. Okay. I got one more plug. What? Okay. I got one more plug. Don't forget about my holiday taint stand-up shows at the Irvine Improv in Orange County, California on December 27th and 28th. And thank you to the Orlando Improv and to all of you guys for coming out. The numbers are pretty good here.

I've pledged that the city where the most people turn out for one of these this week with all my shows with Jeff, the number one turnout, I'm going to try to come back in the first quarter of 2018.

But you know, I'll be back here anyway because I love it here and this is a great time and as always, Black Bart and Old Man Parker's furnace are fudging shitheads.

And the FCC is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Once again, thank you to The Shape of Water for being an awesome movie and for sponsoring today's episode. Fox Searchlight has a new movie from visionary filmmaker Guillermo del Toro called The Shape of Water. With an all-star cast that includes Sally Hawkins, Octavia Spencer, Michael Shannon, Richard Jenkins, Michael Stolberg, and Doug Jones,

The Shape of Water is an otherworldly fable about the unpredictable nature of love. It's a stunning and beautiful cinematic vision that must be experienced in theaters. I'm telling you, I'm going to go see it again. Don't miss The Shape of Water, nominated for seven Golden Globes, and now playing in select theaters. Bye-bye. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.

Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!