Doug Loves Movies - Matt Fernandez, Trey Galyon and Joyelle Johnson guest

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

Live from the Miami Improv, Doug welcomes Matt Fernandez, Trey Galyon and Joyelle Johnson to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you for the first time ever in Miami, Florida!

Actually, we're in Doral, Florida. Dorolfina. Does anybody here live in Doral? Aplaud if you live in Doral. So no Venezuelans here at the show today? Yeah, I learned when I got here. It's a very Venezuelan community.

And people that come to the improv are probably from Miami or Fort Lauderdale or West Palm or wherever I haven't been lately. But I'll be back to those places, hopefully. It's Saturday, November 23rd, 2019. And when you're backstage, when you're in the green room back there, there's this camera that's pointed at the stage so you could see what's happening on stage but it also catches the first few rows of seats.

And I was back there going, did people bring really small name tags or are they just hiding them really well? But yeah, so I guess I see one here up front that's pretty large. Edpool 2.

That's good. Go with the sequel. And then, okay, now they're all creeping out. Oh, there's lots of them. Okay. All right. This is good. Shit, I forgot something backstage.

Hang on a second. Talk amongst yourselves. You know what? Let's put the commercial break right here we'll be right back today's show is brought to you in part by blue chew guys remember the days when you were always ready to go increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed with bluechew.com blue chew that's blue like the color brings you the first chewable with the same FDA-approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis. Take them anytime, day or night, even on a full stomach. Since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast as a pill, so you can be ready whenever opportunity arises. If you could benefit from extra function and more confidence where it counts, Blue Chew is the fast and easy way

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in the real world of the Marvel Universe and the lives of the people who inhabit it. The story takes place as the city braces for its first encounter with Galactus, The story takes place as the city braces for its first encounter with Galactus, but it's an audio drama that follows a journalist, student, and photographer's mission to unravel a super-powered conspiracy. If you want to give Marvels a shot, go to StitcherPremium.com and sign up with the code Doug. That's D-O-U-G. You'll get a free month trial of Stitcher Premium, which will let you listen to Marvel's right now. That's StitcherPremium.com with the promo code Doug. Back to the show.

We're back. And I have signed copies from the Cannabis and Cheese Tour with Dale Cheeseman. Dale Cheeseman's not here today, by the way, in case anybody was getting excited. I think you'll like the guest. But so we had a bunch of these posters left over from the tour, and I signed a bunch of them. And so what I'd like to do is give everyone who brought a name tag a poster. And hopefully that's how many I brought.

We'll see if it works out. Here you go, Ed Poole. All right. And you can share one? That's so sweet. You'll take two and like it. Where else? Where else?

Okay. Here we go. How many name tags do you think there are? I won't fall. That's my plan. There's three over there. Wait, you know what you guys why don't you come to me

or yeah just give one of these to everybody that's got a name tag if they yeah if they don't have a name tag tell them to F all the way off but we got a couple back there and those light up ones over there which always prove my theory that I still can't see what's on there

even though it lights up. But that's perfect. Thank you guys for passing those out and thank you to everybody who brought name tags. Time for Doug plugs. This is the part where I talk about upcoming gigs that I have. Wow, that is a long step down, ma'am.

I'll catch you up. Thank you. All right, can you read this first plug for everybody? Right there, number one. Doug Loves Movies is back at UCB Franklin in L.A. Tuesday night, November 26th. See how hard? That's my problem is I can't read my own writing either.

And so I will call it the VCB theater sometimes, even though it clearly says UCB. Will you do one, sir? All right. Do number two. What's number two? I can't read your handwriting. Two's right here.

West, I can't read. 12 guests. Wait, wait, wait. Here, do the second one. Show him how easy it is. Fine. Guests at Christmas is happening. 12 guests at Christmas is happening.

Gramercy Theater. You haven't heard this a million times already? I really have. New York City, Sunday night, December 1st. Don't be naughty. Get tickets. Yeah, see? She knows how to do it.

But let's go to Ed Poole over here for this next one. Number three. Number three? Yeah, right there. Twelve Guests of Xmas is also happening at Largo in Los Angeles on Thursday night, December 12th. Be naughty, get tickets. Okay, one more, one more, one more.

Number four, please. All of Doug's dates and deets are at Douglovesmovies.com. Douglovesmovies.com. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Deadlovesmovies.com. Deadlovesmovies.com. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Dead dancing. Dead dancing.

All right. We did it. That was great. Let's check out the prize bag. We have got, oh, I accidentally put two of them in there. Let's put one down there. This is a Cannabis and Cheese tour poster

signed by me and Dale Cheeseman. So, yeah, you'll... Since posters just signed by me went to everybody, one winner will get a poster that's got Dale as well. Everyone else is going to have to find Dale somewhere and get him to sign. So many good things, including a T-shirt that was dropped off along with a lot of other goodies from Ghostly Goods. You can find them at ghostlygoodsgram. And here's their beautiful shirt with a little ghost guy on there.

And where's the person who brought this stuff? Where are you at? Hey, there were instructions? I heard there were instructions that you needed to give me. What's that? You want to let me know what everything was. I'll tell you what everything was, you guys. It was delicious.

And I probably shouldn't have everything was, you guys. It was delicious, and I probably shouldn't have eaten all of it already. All right, well, we could discuss it further at the meet and greet afterwards if there's more to say. Oh, and also you included some stickers from the company. Once again, that's Ghostly Goods Graham. I've also got a TSA warning in the bag. I thought it would be fun to give you one of those. Whenever they search my bag, they put a little note in there saying, we searched your bag.

Some socks from my friends here at the improv. The Miami Improv employees, when they're walking around, check out their socks. Everybody wears fun socks here. And so they contributed some socks for the prize bag plus a doug benson pin from rock and pins i'll be selling those for 10 bucks after the show we've only got a few so don't worry about it uh oh this is a uh one of those things you put on your cell phone and you can take selfies. And it's presented

by the 10,000 Laughs Comedy Festival in Minneapolis. And then from Magical Butter, my friends at Magical Butter here in Florida gave me lots of stuff, including this is a package of silicone spatulas. Three spatulas made out of rubber. What you do with them is your business. Reenact a scene from Stripes if you want. A Douglas Movies t-shirt. And a copy of, I was just in San Jose. All the prizes are falling on the floor now. I was just in San Jose and I got a copy of

Explore Silicon Valley, San Francisco Peninsula, et cetera. I don't read the whole, I don't have to read the whole thing, but that sounds like a fun guide to a place you may never go. I'm just going to drop them all on the floor now. It's going to be easier to collect all that shit later. And then this is my favorite thing that I've given away in a while. I'm so excited about this. I got this on Josh Wolf's show the other night, Controlled Chaos. And it is called Gary. Gary the Naughty Garden Gnome. And he's got things to say that are not appropriate.

Let's check it out. Hi-ho, hi-ho. Excuse me, I'm just saying hello to all my bitches out there. What was that? I want him to say I'm sexy and I gnome it. My tiny hands will make your little boobies look bigger. You bang one rabbit and they stick you in the damn tool shed. Let's go back to my shed where you can work the kinks out of my holes.

It's so hard to understand. But they have examples on the back. My tiny hands will make your little boobies look bigger hi ho hi ho excuse me I'm just saying hello to all of my bitches that's the kind of shit he's saying we can't hear it this is a bunch of belching

alright well so Gary wasn't as great as I thought he'd be Yep, I puked in the petunias again. This is a bunch of belching. All right. Well, so Gary wasn't as great as I thought he'd be, but he's still great to have around for the holiday season. And let's get the guests out here, because they brought some stuff for the bag as well. Please give it up for Joyelle Johnson, Matt Fernandez, and Trey Gallione! Hey, let's meet them individually.

Hey, let's meet them individually, starting with performing here this weekend at the Improv. It's Joyelle Johnson, everybody. Thank you for having me. First time on the show. Yes, I'm popping my cherry. Popping a dog cherry. I'm so excited that you are performing here this weekend

and available to do this. How have you been? You're working with Ilana Glazer's headlining shows tonight. You'll be on both of those shows. Yes. Y'all know her, right? She cool. Yeah, she's awesome. We had fun seeing her last night. Yes. Y'all know her, right? She cool. Yeah, she's awesome. She's awesome.

We had fun seeing her last night. Is anybody coming back to see her later tonight? Yeah. You came last night? Which show? The Late Show. Oh, that bit. The Late Show was good.

Woo! Miami, y'all are crazy. I love it. Yeah, that was super fun. Was there anybody with a name tag that didn't get a poster? Did we run out of them? Or did everybody get one? One back there didn't get one? Yeah, come and super fun. Was there anybody with a name tag that didn't get a poster? Did we run out of them? Or did everybody get one? One back there didn't get one?

Yeah, come and get it, dude. Yeah, I got one more. Come on, man. I just found it. Also joining us on the panel, he's been on a bunch of times, our Florida friend, Matt Fernandez, everybody. Hey. How you doing, dude?

Great, how are you? I'm good, you drove a few miles to get here Yeah, it was worth it And what are you drinking? Just vodka Vodka with some limes in it? Some limes in it, yep, that's right Wow

I get right to the point Yeah, okay, get after it And joining us from Brooklyn It's Trey Galliol to the point. All right. Yeah, okay. Get after it. And joining us from Brooklyn, it's Trey Galliol. Hello. Hello, my jammy. My jammy,

am I saying that right? That's how the taxi driver was saying it. So I assume that's the proper my mom's Puerto Rican driver was saying it. So I assume that's the proper, my mom's Puerto Rican, it's okay. I can do that. I don't think people are as upset

as just not getting what you're talking about. What does that mean? My jammy? Yeah, what's the joke? Oh, because we're in Miami, but some people pronounce it my jammy? Okay. Yeah, see, there was some yes there.

Enough people got it. The old lady got it. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to call you old like that. Gender non-specific old person. Oh, my God. Is that how you're supposed to say it? We're off to a great start.

Is that why I'm on the panel? I love that. She just said, she just said, somebody's got to be old. And it is true, especially here in Florida. Way to take it for the team, man.

Appreciate that. Yes. She's at a 420 show. She got to be cool. You're the coolest grandma ever. What's up? Yeah, she's cool as shit. You're the coolest grandma ever. What's up? Yeah, she's cool as shit. You're like Jamie Lee Curtis.

Yes. Gracias, abuela. Seriously, what's up with this Activia stuff? Is it good? Ask my 30-year-old boyfriend. Oh, damn. She said, ask my 30-year-old boyfriend. Yeah. Oh, damn. Oh, y'all been here. She said, ask my 30-year-old boyfriend. Yeah, her boyfriend, Gary the garden gnome.

Let me read you another classic. My hat's not the only thing that's big, red, and pointy. You should see a doctor. This gnome is disgusting. Like the shades. Oh, my God. I was like, if we doing it, we doing it, bitch. I like the shades. Oh my God. I was like, if we're doing it, we're doing it, bitch. I hate daylight.

So I'm an actual vampire. Yeah, that's the thing. It's weird to be a comedian who doesn't like daylight and then you're in a dark room where the only light is on you. That's it. Yeah, so I'm going to be wearing my shades a lot. These are my Tony Starks. Those are rad.

They're working out pretty good for me, except for when I have to read or drive a car. Then they're a little bit of a problem. Let's talk prize bag, you guys. Starting with Matt, what have you got for us? Matt, can I hold your drink, baby? Oh, that's so nice. You're the nicest person ever.

Thank you. I got Brian Posehn's book, Forever Nerdy. A couple of slap koozies with one of my tweets on them. It says, I always cut my six-pack ring so they don't choke any dolphins. Then it says, if I'm going to choke a dolphin, it'll be with my bare hands. So there's a couple of those in there. And this was just an impulse buy on the way here. It there's a couple of those in there. And this was just an impulse buy on the way here. It was at a

gas station for $3.99, so I picked up Johnny Depp in the secret window. It's a movie where Johnny Depp goes insane, so it's kind of a documentary. Gas station movies are the best. Miami, you guys do it like no one else. There's all kinds of great DVDs in there for $4.

People like to make fun of Johnny Depp, but he's truly one of the greatest hair and glasses actors of our generation. If he has different hair and glasses, you won't believe it. He's so different every time. I like his perfume. Sauvage.

It's more of an experience than a perfume. Oh. What's it called? Sauvage. Not savage? It's got an A and a U. It's like Sade, but different. Okay, Joelle.

Thank you so much. Yes, I was having brunch in Delray before I got here. Yes, because I'm fancy. You were on some sort of old people's tour. I was. I saw all the old people. I saw an old man with two birds. He was taking his birds out for a walk on the beach.

They were cockatoos in the tree. And the reason we started talking, because he was like, move, because she might shit on you. We were like, who? And he was like, Sophie. And we shit on you. We were like, who? And he was like, Sophie. And we were like, where the fuck is Sophie at? I'm going to just fight this bitch. She was a cockatoo.

And then he said, Louis is way more respectful than Sophie because Louis potty trained. And Louis says he needs to go to the potty when he's ready to take a shit. Anyway, I was on Delray's Beach and I went to a shop and it was run by two white ladies and

everything was way too expensive. So I got this fanny pack. It's very colorful and it's very Delray. So this is my contribution to the gift bag. It's beautiful. Thank you. Those go perfect with my roller blades. Yes.

And your time machine. Okay, Trey. It's a lot to follow. I'm going to try. Good prizes. We're going to start with the classic United Airlines barf bag, which is holding a couple of GravLabs one-hitters and then this Good Grips can opener

that my roommate Allison got me, but I'm left-handed, so it don't work unless I hold the cans upside down, which is not... I tried it. It's not a great idea. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Huh?

Your roommate gave that to you? Yeah. So you're giving it away instead of like, why not just contribute it to the household? Like you... Because she's already got a right-handed one. Why did she have to buy you your own can opener if you share a kitchen? Because I got a cool-ass roommate that was just being nice. She doesn't even know if you're right or left-handed.

I mean, it's the thought that counts. I don't know. I mean, either way, somebody's going home with it today that's not me. Oh, and then I got a once used Trey Gallion Live at Creep Records

rolling tray. And then I have one of my to the left t-shirts, which if you guys aren't familiar, I wear these when I'm smoking pot, so if I forget which way the weed's going, I can look down and it's

a, oh, to the left. And do that. I've got a couple of those for, that I'll sell to you guys afterwards if you want to haggle and shit. Yeah, and photographs are free always. Yeah, always. And hugs are free too.

Okay, no, I'm not giving out any hugs. It's getting creepier and creepier. You're listening. Oh, no, even you're shaking your head? Damn it. She'll take a hug. Nah, I don't want it now. The way you said that, you were like, nah, right.

Nah, I don't need that one. It's a pity hug. Yeah. I'll get Joelle to hug me later. Okay, baby. Keep those arms up. Yeah, man, that's no problem. That's an easy rule.

Comedians hug, bitches. They be all down in the fucking small of your back and shit. No, man, nobody's fucking tweeted about me or anything. We're good. You know me. Listen, before we hug, I just need to let you know that I don't know where to put my hands. Ricky Bobby, I hugged Dick first.

Is that weird? Here we go. I hug mostly with my dick. I really lead with first. Is that weird? Here we go. I hug mostly with Dick. Yeah, coming first. I really lead with the lower half of my body. It's a weird hug. A little pelvis. It's a weird hug.

I should really tell you about it in advance. Like I'm crossing the finish line. That's why I'm going for hugs. I lead with my dick. Well, all of that is going in the dick-hugging bag today. Yes. And someone's going to go home with it, and that's a very lucky person.

But before we get to the games, you know I have a question for everybody. Yeah. I'll start with you, Matt. What was the last movie you saw? Peanut Butter Falcon. Yay! And it was so fucking good.

Yes. It was so good. Really good. I can't recommend it enough. It's so funny and heartwarming. It's so good. Really good. Can't recommend it enough. It's so funny and heartwarming. Jake the Snake, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I keep telling wrestling people,

people that are into wrestling, just go, you know, like don't worry about what it's about or anything. It's going to be a nice little surprise when that happens, but yeah. It's good to see Shia LaBeouf making a comeback. Dude, LaBeouf is, he's always been a

great actor he just his personal life got a little weird and he had weird parents like it's in this movie Honey Boy that's uh I think it's LA and New York right now but it's moving around the country where he plays a basically a version of his own dad and uh that's intense not a great person to be around like a stage dad you know that, that forced him to become even Stevens. Oh, shit. I haven't thought about even Stevens in 11 years. He forced him to, is this a better reference? He forced him to dig some holes.

Yeah, so, yeah, I'm very excited about Shia's comeback because I think he is a really great actor. Go see it if you haven't seen it for real. It's so good. Yeah, so, yeah, I'm very excited about Shia's comeback because I think he is a really great actor. Go see it if you haven't seen it for real. It's so good. Yeah, okay. Joyelle? Dolomite is my name. Yes.

Oh, my God, so very black. It's a very, yes. That's one movie where I sit there and go, okay, there's only three white guys in it, so I guess I don't have to feel bad about not getting to audition. They were all pretty young because they were playing his

crew on that movie he made. It was awesome. But it was fun. It was funny. Yeah, they're saying Eddie Murphy might get an Oscar nomination. Yeah, he's looking for that Oscar, but I also think Wesley Snipes might deserve a little nod. Wesley Snipes is really fun in it, but I don't know if, you know,

there's so many, like, heavier performances that'll get those supporting actor nominations. You know, like Tom Hanks is just a supporting actor in a movie called, you know, Welcome to My Fucking Neighborhood. Just have a seat while I take off my sweater. Yeah. I think that's what it's called.

Full title. Yeah, exactly. What were we talking about? Wesley's Black-Ass Snipes. Yeah, Dolomite is my name. They did a good job with that. It's on Netflix. Did you get to watch it in the theater

or you just watched it on your Netflix? I watched it on Netflix in my house on my cozy couch and I got to smoke a drink while I was watching it. Oh, that's great. That's what you do. I can't concentrate on movie theaters anymore.

Really? I can't. I need to be able to pause it and go, you know. Right, go to the bathroom, look to be able to pause it and go, you know. Right. Go to the bathroom, look at your phone. Play dress up, you know, the things you do. Put out that fire you started with that joint.

Exactly. You can't do that in the movie theater. You gotta focus and shit. Can I come over and watch a movie with you? Alright, Trey. Yeah? Trey, why are you so fucking desperate today? What's going on? It's the cleavage.

I don't want to help him. Oh, God. Hot damn. I got some good titties out today. It was a long flight this morning with a lot of old people, so I saw Joyelle, and I was like,

oh, she's about my age. That'll work. Yeah. Plus, we both live in New York, so, you know, we're going to play dress-up, too, yeah? Dang. All right.

It's a requirement. I'm going to put dress-up, too, yeah? Dang. All right. It's a requirement. I'm going to put a thong on you. Oh, okay. Joyelle, when you were on this stage last night for two shows, was it freezing up here like it is now? Like, I want to go get my sweatshirt. I'm going to go get my sweatshirt. I'm always cold, so I feel like it was pretty cold, but it wasn't this cold.

Yeah, it's cold today. Yeah. And maybe the improv is supplying all the snow for the blizzard they're going to make outside. Yeah, because tonight's the tree lighting ceremony here at the city place. And you guys might want to just get out of here fast when it's over was anybody going to stick around for that i don't think so why would they know about it nobody lives here did you bring mushrooms you did bring a child all right we'll talk after i see you bald head beard i'm just glad this show's going to be over

before they light the tree. Because remember in Tampa we were doing Douglas movies one time and they did a tree lighting downtown and it knocked the power out on the whole block. That's why you'll never hear that episode. Fucking tree lighting. Ruining my show.

What was the last movie you saw, Trey? Was, I went to a screening of Queen and Slim. Oh, dope. Yeah. People are really, people are jealous. Yeah, yeah. What is this movie you saw we haven't heard of? It was about cops being not nice to black people.

What? Yeah. I know. I was surprised, too. That's science fiction. I was like, wait a minute. Are we going to have a Q&A after this? What?

Because I definitely got some cues. Just all white people at the theater. Dude. I tell you, it was like going to see a horror movie at Court Street in Brooklyn like it was proper it was proper white oh and this was the thing too was like so it was a screening and there were two empty seats on the back row one on each end and there was a couple that was getting seated last and they wanted to sit together and so they came in and they were like hey man like do you guys just mind moving over one seat in either direction so this couple can sit together

and this lady goes they're gonna have to learn to be apart once in a while and dude they did not that back row god bless them did not fucking move they were like we're not gonna start the movie until you guys do this. And they just sat there and were like, nope. Other people in the theater were like,

come on. And they were like, nope. And they didn't move. Did a black woman say that? Yes. Of course. Yeah.

That sounds like one of my aunties. She did that shit. Bitch, I'm not moving. So rude and I love it. But it was good. It was a good movie. It was.

It was about 20 minutes too long. I told him that. So we'll see if that shows when it finally comes out. They're going to cut 20 minutes because you said that? I mean, we'll see. You wrote it on a comment card? Yeah, man. But Flea is in it, and Sturgill Simpson is in it.

I was like, holy shit, that's Sturgill Simpson. And it was. Nice. And then Chloe Sauvignon. Sauvignon Blanc? Yeah, she's in it, too. And then a bunch of black people that I don't. That one guy that's like the new Omar Epps, he's the main dude in it.

The new Omar Epps. Yeah, I forgot dude in it. The new Omar Epps. Yeah, I forgot his name. Okay. Yeah. All right. I'm not just going to start naming black people. No, yeah, yeah. It's the guy.

Not going to help you guess. It almost made me cry. It's Daniel K. from Get Out. Yes. How do you say his last name? Kaluuya. Kaluuya. He's amazing.

He was great in Widows. That was like a weird movie, but him and Brian Tyree Henry, I would watch the two of them. He's amazing. He was great in Widows. Like, that was like a weird movie, but him and Brian Tyree Henry, I would watch the two of them. He was the best part of the movie. Yeah, the two of them together. Oh, my God. He was scary as fuck.

Scary as fuck. Which is so impressive, because you just saw him in a movie where he was scared the whole time. Yeah, so crazy. Versatile. That boy versatile. Yeah. He's good in this one, too.

Okay, I'll see it. Yeah, I dig it. It's cool. I love that a black woman refused to give up her seat in this one, too. Okay. I'll see it. I dig it. It's cool. I love that a black woman refused to give up her seat in the back of the theater. That seems a whole row, man. I mean, solidarity. That's poetic justice. Was it for a white couple?

Oh, they looked Hispanic. Okay. There were Hispanics for for trump so it's okay she saw a light skittish train here she was like i'm not moving bitch oh man it was it was pretty i mean it was very hard not to laugh in that moment and it was a small theater so i would have been cackling well and then at the time like i was sitting at the end of a row that was all empty for other people that were

reserved that had the anyway and so it would have been and everybody would have been like what's this fucking white boy laughing at and I would have left I would have left the theater but it was great so I was glad that I was able to keep it in and enjoy

that fucking moment because it was pretty beautiful. I like it. Yeah. Do any of you do impressions? I don't like where this is going, so nope. The way he came out of nowhere with it. That's the next question on my sheet. Oh.

I guess I could have tried to segue better. I'm having a really good time in Doral. I mean, this place has made a great impression. Speaking of that, do any of you guys do impressions? Man. Dude. You know, the stupid thing is I thought of one last night and I don't remember what it was.

Joyelle, do you do any? No, I don't. Not even like a friend or a line from a movie you've seen over and over again? Shit. Think about it for a second. Hold on for a second. I'm just super into seeing what a lot of people

have impressions that they do. I do a Pennywise every once in a while. See, there you go. I knew we could drag one out of you. To scare the shit out of my girlfriend's kid. So it's not like a good thing. What do you do? Go good thing. Yikes. What do you do?

Go Georgie. Oh, shit. And how old is this kid? Eight. That's about right, I guess. Any older, I'd be like, why is he scared of a guy that doesn't look like Pennywise? Also, it's coming out of this. Yeah, that's what I mean.

It's imposing. You're not Pennywise-ish. Thanks, man. You're welcome. Keep up the good work. Did you think of one, Joyelle? We could get an Oprah. Oh, shit.

Hello! Hello! we get an Oprah oh shit hello and that was from Color Purple yes yes Oprah asked Sophia after she beat Harpo's ass she beat him up hello you told Harpo to beat me

she's so dignified but but she lets it rip sometimes. She's just screaming, but she's still such a cool lady. Like a psycho. Yeah, it's very psycho. You get a car! My favorite things! Okay, Oprah. She did a bump of cocaine.

Oh my God, her arms are up in the air. See, that's how I learn to do impressions, is I ask my guests to do them, and then they teach me. So thank you for that. Pull that out of my ass. Yeah, that was very good. Very good ass pull.

Turn it off, Bert. Let the games begin! We got games to play, and there are lots of name tags out there. So go select the one that you like, that speaks to you. We already went to commercial break earlier in the show, so the listeners are going to get to hear all of the action

as Trey works his way through the room. This is like, doesn't it feel like a Sadie Hawkins dance, Trey? Where you just have to walk around and hope somebody picks you? Is that how that works? That's how you do it. Well, that looks good. Oh, if it has Trey's picture on it, he picks it. Yeah.

Did Deadpool 2 have Trey on it? Oh, what's happening over here? There seems to be an exchange of goods. That one lights up. Oh, yeah. They got some light-up ones that I can't read at all. All right. Show me after.

What does it say on the light-up one? Star Wars, the staffup one? Star Wars, as Steph awakens. Star Wars, as Steph awakens? Oh, and who am I? Kylo Ren. Tree, it's Kylo Ren. Maybe you should have picked that.

Yeah, I want to check that one out after. I'll check a picture with it. Alright, Matt, what do you got? Raising Sarazona? There was weed taped to it, but that's not why I picked it. That's a good pun. I'm proud of you for that pun.

That was solid. Yeah, so you gave back the weed? No. Don't be crazy, Doug. What does it say on the back? Does it have a shithead on the back? Oh, yeah, it has a shithead on it. Anyone still supporting Trump is a shithead.

Okay. Joyelle? Ed Pool 2. That's a beautiful one. I love it. I saw Abby and Alana and Trey's head is on there too. Like everybody, the whole crew's there. Jeff Tate's in there.

Yeah, they got the whole crew. And I'm at the head of the table. He was like, it comes with weed. So, of course, I had to grab it. You know what I'm saying? How much weed? That bag is huge. There's a whole gift bag here.

What? There's Swedish fish. Oh, shit. Okay, so this whole bag of these set off the TSA thing for me once, which was weird. Really? And I had drugs on me. I was like, what? Yeah, like actual weed doesn't set that shit off.

I was like nervous. And then they were like, it's the Swedish fish. I was like, what? Yeah, like actual weed doesn't set that shit up. I was like nervous and then they were like, it's the Swedish fish. I was like, oh good. Stop trying to sneak that fish in from Sweden. Yeah, bitch. A Kit Kat bar. Give me a break. Biatch. Double-sided

tape. Oh shit. What's that about? Oh, he was going to use it to stick the stuff to the poster. Said, fuck it. I'll just give her the tape. That's fair, cop. I'm a Virgo. I'm practical.

We love shit like this. I can use it. We got Sour Patch Kids. He wants my teeth to be fucked up. Oh, my God. And then, oh, a little Tito's. A little ball of Tito's. What?

And two J's. Nice. That's so sweet. I'm going to smoke these with Alana tonight. Yes, bitch. That is so amazing. Is this all for me? That's probably, yeah, you can keep it.

Okay, good. He probably wasn't looking to be called a bitch. Gave you all that nice stuff. Yeah, man, it's gender non-specific bitch. Yeah. And you could just go ahead and throw his poster on the floor like it didn't mean anything to anybody. You could do it gently.

Right on, man. Also, I'm going to be mentioned to the League of Their Own. I was walking towards that, too. Love that shit. Okay. What's your name, League of Their Own? Elle, League of Their Own. Elle, League of Their Own.

Good. Love that. Trey? Okay, so I picked The Johnster Squad because Monster Squad was one of those movies I came in late to. Like, I only saw it a couple years ago. But he's got everybody on here, too.

There's Cheeseman and Jeff Tate and Ham and Alana and Sam and me and fucking everybody. Yeah. Amy Miller. Yeah. And Guy O. There's a lot of people on there. Yeah, man.

And Dan Kirk. Oh, good. You got them all in. Yep. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it says, you know who to call when you have ghosts, but who do you call when you have stoners?

Who do you, who? have stoners? More stoners. John? The weed man. Postmates is a good answer. That's true. Don't yell out any more good answers. Okay, let's play. Let's determine who's going to win today,

starting with a little game called Characters Welcome. Characters Welcome is a game where I'm going to name a bunch of character names from the end titles of an existing motion picture, and the first one of you to guess the title I'm looking for, the first person on stage to guess it correctly, wins. And you can guess as often as you like. All right. Got it.

Character names. I won this one last time. Okay, cool. All right. Trey, you can't intimidate the other guests. I know. This kind of thing is not cool. I don't even like the way you're facing me right now.

Like rules? Or I thought you meant like they're too mentally strong to fall for my shenanigans. It's definitely not that. I won in LA. Remember? I beat Tate. Yeah, I don't think so. What? Look how proud he is. It was Bubble Boy.

Yeah, you're making it up. I'm not. Go back and listen. It's recorded. Look, she said yes over it. She's saying yes. Yeah, I're making it up. Go back and listen. It's recorded. Look, she said yes over it. She's saying yes. Yeah, I get it. They're trying to trick me into thinking you're telling the truth. Why do you refuse to believe that I've ever won?

Have you seen how you play these games? Yeah, but I have actually won a couple times. Oh, now it's two times. Now he's a freaking champion. Dude, former reigning 12 Guests of Christmas champion. Yeah, he did win that one time. I don't know how that happened. Well, it's, yeah.

Because I was way more stoned than everybody else. You'll be back at it. The 12 Guests is coming up. I will, yeah, man. One week from tomorrow. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's one week. Yeah. All right. I'll be back. Did you start making your

turkey yet? I got... Let's not get into it. This sounds like a struggle. I'm going to spend Thanksgiving alone on purpose. I bought turkey burgers. Wait, wait, wait.giving alone on purpose yeah i bought turkey burgers oh wait wait wait why alone on purpose what does that mean it's because i want to be yeah what

about with your friends don't you have any friends that'll just be kicking it yeah yeah totally yeah she won't be i know his friends they're gonna have things yeah yeah yeah things are gonna be happening you're just gonna stay home and eat turkey burgers? Yes. Okay. Yes. All right. Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, yeah. All right, cool, cool, cool. That's all. We'll talk about it later, not on a podcast that a lot of people are going to listen to. You know, when somebody says they're going to stay home and eat turkey burgers, I think we should put you on a watch list. Oh, man, I'm good. I'm going to make it through it.

Did you already get the burgers? It sounds really sad. If you go in and buy them the night before Thanksgiving, the cashier is going to be so sad. Yeah, no, I plan ahead, man. They're all out of turkey burgers the night before Thanksgiving. It's a mad rush to get them. You're fighting in the aisle with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

It's my turkey burger. Yeah, I don't need that. My baby wants a turkey burger. Which baby? I don't know. He had a fucking kid in that movie where he had to get him that toy. Okay. Jingle all the way.

It was a jingle all the way reference, sort of. Okay. Here we go. Yep. This movie has someone in the credits who is listed as herb herb the drugstore clerk yeah sandlot Sandlot. It? No.

Clerks. Oh, right. Another character in this movie is called Santa's Elf. Elf. Bad Santa. A Christmas Carol. Both wrong. All three wrong. All wrong. It's a Wonderful Life. Wrong. All three wrong. All wrong.

It's a Wonderful Life. Wrong. Bad Santa T. Wrong. And then we've got a polka band member. Home Alone. That's it. Oh, shit.

Okay. John Candy. John Candy. John Candy has a polka band, and he has band members. I thought it was going to take a while. I thought airline counter person might have been a good clue. Oh, that's a good one.

French woman. Yeah, there's a French woman in there. Buzz. The brother. The annoying brother. Oh, yeah, the jerk. Then Kate and Harry are, I guess, the parents. And then, oh, no, Harry's one of the wet bandits.

Harry and Marv. Yes. Oh, sure. Marv might have given it away if he didn't get it from the polka thing. And then, of course, the number one name is Kevin. Kevin McAllister for long. And, Trey, the number one name is Kevin. Kevin McAllister for long. And Trey, you did not win that game. I'm sorry.

I just want to be on the record, so next time we get together, if you're like, I won that one game, I can say, no, remember we talked about it afterwards. Why do you have to? I suck so bad. It's not so much that I won. I didn't win. You just lost.

Macaulay did stand-up recently in Brooklyn. Seriously? You suck so bad. It's not so much that I won. I didn't win. You just lost. Oh, man. My colleague did stand-up recently in Brooklyn. Seriously? Yeah, at the Bell House. He did a show. What? Yeah. How was that?

I didn't see a shit. I just saw it online. Smart. I was like, what the fuck? Good girl. Yeah, I was busy. He's got a podcast, right? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. It's called Slap My Cheeks. I just called, ah! See, you have a lot of impressions. You didn't know. You didn't know you also had a Kevin McAllister impression. Oh! That mic is hot, or I really hit myself hard.

Let's play ABCD's Nuts. All right. D's Nuts. Do you know this game, Joyelle? I do not. It's a spelling game. Okay. And we're going to spell something. I'm going to give you a letter.

This game always sounds so weird when I describe it. Then once you play it, it starts to make more sense. But I'll give you a letter in the thing that we're spelling and you just have to name any movie that begins with that letter.

Begins with it, okay. To stay in the game. But if you match the one I wrote down ahead of time, because there's a theme, sort of, then you automatically win the game. Okay.

I hope that doesn't... I don't want that to happen. You don't want me to win? But it's... No, not you specifically. Okay. We all know who he's talking about. I don't want to match. I want to try to...

I want to try to get through the whole thing without anybody matching. But, of course, if you do match, then you take it down and you win. That's how it works. Okay. So Matt gets to start us off and then we'll go to Joyelle and then to Trey. And we are going to spell... It's not a smelling game, although that sounds fun. What movie does this smell like? Can I just hand you something? I'm going to guess Turner and Hooch.

Okay, so... Turner and Hooch. Turner and Hooch. I smelt it. I just smelt Turner and Hooch. Is it a wet dog? It's got a real specific smell. Yeah, man. It's also

how a Florida smells. Yeah. Wet dogs. And feels, really, to be honest. There were way too many ahs. We're going to spell garden gnome.

Okay. Yeah, one of the trickier things we've ever spelled in this game. So, letter G goes to Matt. His name in any movie begins with G. Go. Perfect. Perfectly good G movie. Super short title.

And a good movie. Yeah. I like that movie. Timothy Oliphant. I like it very much. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Claire. Claire.

I went with Gnomeo and Juliet. Okay. That was my G. What do you think, Joyelle, for the letter A? Is the next letter in Garden Gnome? Do I adapt it to a movie? So you just name any movie that begins with A. Any movie that begins with A?

All About Eve. That's a good one. Classic. I went with not quite as big of a classic, but still amazing motion picture. A gnome named Norm. Trey, the letter is R. Ramon the Gnome?

I don't know. I would totally see that if it existed. Ramon Rivas, of course. Not enough Spanish representation in the gnome community. I've always said that. Ramon does look like a giant gnome. He does. He would be.

He could leave home. But for real, Rushmore, just to stay in the game. Rushmore? Yeah. That's incorrect. Yeah. No, it

is a movie that begins with R. I went with Rain of Fire. Oh, okay. What's happening? D is the next letter to Matt. David the Gnome never had a movie.

There's a gnome named David? He did porn, though. What? Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to get that. I don't want to find it. He is so small, it was a step up from what he'd previously been doing. I'll just go with Dope.

Stay in. Oh, yeah, Dope. I like that movie a lot. Stay for the end credits. Oh yeah, dope. I like that movie a lot. Stay for the end credits. It's got dancing. He dances through the whole end credits. It's great. I went with Dragon Slayer.

Dragon Slayer. If I say it like that. Not better. E for Joyelle. I'll go with your one word inspiration and say elf. That's a good one.

Elf would have been so perfect. You fucked up, didn't you? I sure did. I wrote down Ella Enchanted. All right, Trey, I'm going to help you out on this one. Oh, really? There's no way in hell you're going to match what I wrote down. Wait, we're on N?

N, yes. But N, I could not find a movie that very specifically fit the theme I was going for, for N. So I had to get creative. And it's something that kind of fits it, but not really. That's a terrible clue. Good luck.

Yeah, cool. Oh, man. Oh, now I'm having a hard time thinking of just anything that begins with N. You having trouble thinking of N-words? That's good, Trey. I want to live in that world. I'm happy about that, Trey. You can come to my house and watch a movie

yeah and we're going to play dress up still I don't say the N word anymore because I have racist Alzheimer's you forgot um Jesus come on a movie that begins with N Jesus. Come on. I'll believe it goes with N.

National Lampoon's Animal House. There you go. I didn't mean to freak you out or anything. No, it was touch and go there for a second. You guys have no idea. I know I looked all cool and shit up here, but inside I was freaking out. Well, and you didn't help either, Joyelle.

Hey. Well, because after you said that, that's the only word I could think of for a minute. Like for way too long. Yeah. There's no movies that start with that, right? I tried to think of one. There's a movie called Boss with that, right? I tried to think of one. There's a movie called Boss Nigger, though.

Yeah, and there's... It's a ridiculous blaxploitation film. There's one that ends with an A instead of an ER, but I can't think of it. Anyway. Probably a good thing that I can't think of. I don't like where this is going at all. Doug loves N-words. Been looking for a spin-off idea.

I like that you pluralized it. Words. All of them. All the words. All the N-words. Well, I do. And an N-word that I do like quite a bit, but

I try not to call anybody it, is I went with Nosferatu. Oh. Or Nosferatu, yeah. Gee, back to you, Matt. I've been trying to think of movies that start with gnome. There's another movie called Gnome Depot.

That doesn't exist. But I wish it did. I would shop there for sure. Did you say Gnomeo and Juliet? I did. Okay. Shit. Yeah, and Sherlock Gnomes is off the table

because there's no S in Garden of Gnome. I'll just say Gone in 60 Seconds. I should have made it Garden Gnomes and then whoever was last, Sherlock Gnomes. Anyway. I fucked up. What was your guess, Matt? Gone in 60 seconds. Oh. No, that's not it. Damn it.

There is a movie. This is legit. This means I don't know it. There's a movie called Gnome Alone. Gnome Depot was so close. So close. That's going to be the sequel to Gnome Alone. Gnome Depot was so close! So close. That's going to be the sequel to Gnome Alone

is the gnome gets trapped in a gnome depot and decides to make the best of it. But then it's got a sad ending because somebody purchases him and takes him home and throws him off the roof. Because I would like to destroy a garden gnome. That would be fun. That would be a fun thing to drop off a roof.

Yeah, totally. David Letterman, the dropping shit off the five-story building. I don't think they ever did a ceramic garden gnome. I don't remember that. We got a roof. All right, we're halfway there. Let's throw a garden gnome into the tree lighting ceremony tonight. Yes.

Mushrooms. This is for you children the gnomon. You know, I met a doctor that lives here. He's a doral surgeon. N is the next letter. Yes. For Joelle. In words.

Nightmare on Elm Street. That's a nightmare. It isn't? As it turns out. Okay, then Notting Hill. Yeah, Notting Hill. No. That's a nightmare. It isn't? As it turns out. Okay, then Notting Hill. Yeah, Notting Hill. No, that's a Notting Hill. A Notting Hill.

The Notting Hill. The Notting Hill. Okay, Notting Hill, Notting Hill. Yeah, you did good. You're just a girl standing in front of a boy answering trivia questions. I couldn't think of another one, so I went with Nosferatu again.

Trey, show us your O face. Yeah. That was horrible. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. They should make a movie with that guy. Oh, the movie. Ow. Ow.

Ow. Oh, fist space. Oh. Oh. Oh is your letter. Yeah. Oh, you're going with oh. Othello.

Yeah. Othello. Yeah. Oh, you're going with Othello. Yeah. Othello. Yeah. It's crazy how few movies are at the beginning of the letter O. Yeah. Was Omar Epps in Othello? Oh, shit. I don't know.

You don't know which black guy? Mackay Pfeiffer. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, you didn't get into that Eminem Pfeiffer. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, you didn't get into that Eminem song for nothing.

Right. Okay, O for you, Trey. Oh, you said O. God damn it. Oh,

that's obviously not what you picked. I went with Oz, the Great and Powerful. Damn. All right. Back to Matt with M.

My Giant. Cute. No. Damn it. No. I went with Mermaids. Oh, yes. Shares Oscar.

And then we are back to yet another E in Garden Gnome. Oh, yes. Shares Oscar. And then we are back to yet another E in Garden Gnome. Ever after. That's where you should have said elf. Ah! I don't get no points for that. You don't get shit for that. Did you say Ella Ann Chen too? But we're very proud of you.

Yeah. Yeah. And I'd give you a proticipation. A pro... I would like... A proticipation trophy. I would like that. I'm a...

For proticipating. It's covered in spit. I'm trying to say participation. A proticipation trophy. Don't touch it. It'll give you a proticia. So, but that just means Matt gets to go first in the next game, and then that will determine a winner.

So you didn't really lose or win anything. Okay. Oh, so no one won. Okay, I got it. Yeah. Which means no one lost. Gnome won one. Gnome won.

Whom? Gnome won. Way to go. You did it, Doug. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm never bringing gnomes into this show ever again for any reason. You sneaky, sneaky. I don't know why I decided to attribute to gnomes today.

I mean, it's because of Gary, but Gary turned out to be an asshole. What did he say? Where is Gary? Because that's what happens. Gnomes will run away. The bag is so full of stuff that I just ripped it. I hope he's not in the bag. I just want to...

The Ralph's bag. I want to give Gary one more chance. Before we give him away. Matt, give me a little music while I look for this. No. You're doing great. It's a big-ass gnome. There you go.

Does it just say dirty things? Well, this is what I want you to do. This will be a fun game. You've got to press just above his belt buckle and then listen to what he says and then repeat back exactly what he says. And whoever does it correctly wins. What?

I'm just kidding. Why do I have this? Press it and listen. I'm a big hoe. It's all me. That's all he said is I'm a big hoe? No, he said you're a big hoe. He slut shamed me and I didn't like it.

I didn't care for it one bit. All right, let Joyelle give it a try. See what he says. All right. This is like, where did the man touch you? I don't know. Where did the gnome touch you below the knee obviously

I don't know what this motherfucker talking about I think he said I want to fuck I don't know okay Trey you try let's see if anybody speaks gnome talking about. I think he said I want to fuck. I don't know. Okay, Trey, you try it. Let's see if anybody speaks gnome. What's he saying? Wow, he's got a lot to say to you.

You guys going to go out? Are you on a call? Hey! Trey's phone and shit. That's the iPhone 12. No, Dave's not here, man. That's my impression. You can't tell what he's saying at all?

No, because you guys keep talking. Oh. My tiny hands will make your boobies look bigger. No, but tell us something that he says. I knew Gary would pay off eventually. Pass him back. Damn it. He's going in the bag. Somebody's going home with Gary. pay off eventually. Pass him back. Damn it. He's going in the bag.

Somebody's going home with Gary. Gary? There he goes. All right. Good job, Gary. Let's play last man or woman, Stanton. Oh, damn it. Oh, you guys pick something good, please.

Couple people in the audience said, God damn, it's cold up here. Are you anemic? God damn. I came to Florida to be warm. Everywhere you go, they crank up the air conditioning, so you're just like fucking freezing. You can't wait to go outside and get warm.

And then you get all hot, and you got to go back in the cold. Yeah. And then you die. Yeah. That's the circle of life. Yeah. I've never in my life been warmer than a man. This is weird.

Yeah. Bitches be cold. She just made fun of your blood You got some bitch ass blood Bitch ass blood Benson over here Alright so here's how That's how. That's how cold it is. The microphones are screaming.

What did cause that? That was weird. Joyelle, what'd you do to the microphone? Oh, I might have got mine too close to the monitor. Oh, that was it. We need more kick drum in that, by the way. I think, do you guys feel the same? I don't, I'm just saying.

All right. Edible kicked in? Yeah, what's going on, Trey? I'm all right. Is it that croissant? Did that hit you? Or the gummies or something. Yeah, yeah.

Or staying up all night and taking an early morning flight here. I think that's what he wanted to say to us is don't eat everything. No, yeah, yeah. I think that's the instruction he wanted to give. Don't eat it all. I got this, man. Let's go. I like your I got this stance. Yeah, you're really ready.

He got this. Okay, so I pre-selected a couple of people, or I should say they pre-selected me by reaching out on Twitter. Where is Air Chino 33? Hey, dude. Thanks for being here, and thanks for making me feel even worse by wearing shorts. Yeah.

Are you cold right now? He's good. Yeah. Yeah, you guys are just used to it. Coming at you. Weird people down here. Okay, so, Joyelle, this is a game where I like to play along. That's why we're going to have an audience member make a suggestion.

We're going to take turns naming movies that star or feature the person, or even a cameo, the person that he suggests to us. If we like it, we might go to a second name if he's over there. I think you should do. He has a good shirt on. That's a terrible impression of this guy. I don't know him very well, but this is what he sounds like to me. I think we should do the films of...

Who did you say? Jason Statham. Jason Statham, okay. I was going to say something else. I was going to make fun of you for a while, but you cut right to it with Statham. What a lady. She's like creaming her shorts right now. He's sexy.

Is it the bald head or is it the whole thing? It's all the things. Bald, buff, and British. That's how she likes it. Bring me the three B's, she says. So, bald, British, and a little tubby? Meh. Not so much? Blobby.

Bald, British, and blobby. Blobby. Blobby. Okay, so, thank you for that. Oh, what's your actual name, dude? John. Thank you, John. So, Statham, that's a good one, but let's go check out the other suggestion. I like where this is going.

That one's pretty. I mean, I feel like Joey L is not a fount of Jason Statham trivia. How are you going to play me like that? Are you? I mean, I can name a couple. Yeah. So yeah, ask somebody else. Name somebody black.

Yeah, I don't want... Yeah, right, right. Omar Epps. Like Lou Gossett Jr. Where is Crappy? Underscore. I mean, you should know already it's you. I mean, your name starts with crappy

underscore yeah he's like crappy underscore that's me for sure crappy underscore face underscore pick is your name what does that mean

you don't like your face your avatar is crappy you're beautiful crappy face pick that's your name pick pick okay You don't like your face. Your avatar is crappy. Crappy face pig? That's your name? Pick. Pick, okay.

Pick. I mean, it's a little better. Not much. Wow, that wasn't taken? That's weird. I mean, you should... As soon as you get back to your device, you should change it to crappy face pig. As soon as you get back to your device, you should change it to Crappy Face Pig.

Why is your face so crappy, pig? It's all I eat. What's your actual name? Nick. Nick, okay. Yeah, go with the other one. I'm kidding, Nick. You could change it to bad Nick-sure.

And what's your suggestion today? Steven Spielberg. Steven Spielberg, the great actor. The great actor. Wow. Known for so many films

of which he is directed. Now I always have to do this when Spielberg comes up. It's got to be movies he directed or appears in and can't be movies he produced. Because he's produced a million things that he didn't direct

and I can't keep track of all direct and i i can't keep track of all of it i can't keep track of every uh batteries not included young sherlock holmes shit like that i can't keep track of it all he's like the gingus khan of films like he's fucked so many films like Like his DNA is everywhere in films. Right? Wait, so it's been put out there that we're all part

Genghis Khan because he fucked so many things? Yeah. Hundreds of babies, right? Right, a lot. I don't know the exact number but it's a lot. Startling. Why do you think he did that? Didn't he have other hobbies? Back then?

No, it was just like, yeah, kill dudes and bang chicks. Wasn't he busy, like, you know, starting wars and shit? Yeah. Well, yeah, but that was the killing dudes part. And then you, yeah. After a hard day of war, come home, get your fuck on. Yeah, man. Okay. Eat some cows. You got gotta make sure you get those in line.

You can't mix those up. You'll get in real trouble. Yeah, I mean... He's out there on the battlefield just fucking his way through the other army. Ooh. All right, so we gotta decide what to do here because

Spielberg, you know, he's directed a lot of movies. But as a panel, how do you feel about having to name the films of Jason Statham or Steven Spielberg? I mean, it's going to be a... I would be better with Spielberg. I'm not going to front. Yeah, no, that's fair. So let's do them both. Yeah, right. Okay, so we're going to do Spielberg and Statham,

who I'm pretty sure, but don't correct me if I'm wrong, they've never worked together. We'll start with Matt and then we'll go to Joyelle and then to Trey and then to me. Matt, start us off. Statham

or Spielberg? The Transporter. Yes. Okay. Keeping it basic, out of the gate. The movie that made him a star, I think, probably. Yes. Or at least a leading... Come on. Don't yell out.

Did he say Splash? No, Splash. He did. He said Splash. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Wait, so... I heard what he said.

And were you going to say it? That's the movie that made him famous. Was that one you were going to say? That was one I was going to say. Let's go ahead and say it right now. Let's get it over with. Okay, snatch. But I was contractually obligated to say another one.

No, you're not. Yes, I am. But I'll say it on the next round. It'll get back to you, yeah. Yeah, because y'all ain't going to say it. Trey? The Transporter 2. I know that's what it is.

Fucking sequels. Yeah, that happens sometimes. Okay, I'm going to say... Please stop yelling out titles for whoever's doing that. Yeah, man, please. I'm going to say Jawa's. Oh, all right.

Matt? The Transporter 3? Yes. How many of those did they make? Three. They made the perfect amount. I can say four or five. They made the perfect amount for this game.

I love it. Oh, and don't forget, everyone can go to their lifeline once, which is the person whose name tag you chose. So Matt can go to Ed, and Joyelle can go to Ed. Matt can go to Ed and Joyelle. I mean, Joyelle could go to Ed. Matt can go to Sarah.

And Trey can go to hell. Yes. To John. John. Yes. Okay. Who's up? The color purple.

Yeah. Yes. Biggest Oscar loser. Trey? Raiders of the Lost Ark oh we're gonna do that now are we might as well get it over with right Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom damn it Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Schindler's List my favorite Indy and the List come on I'm naming the blacks and the Jews E.T. Indira Jones and the List of Life oh you say E.T.?

yeah I'm gonna go with ooh this is fun The Sugarland Express Okay, I'm going to go with... Ooh, this is fun. The Sugarland Express. Oh, damn. Yeah. I could take ones that are easy, but why?

Matt? Hobbs and Shaw. Full title? Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shaw. Steven Spielberg presents Hobbs and Shaw. Steven Spielberg presents Hobbs and Shaw. I just love that the words Fast and Furious can present something. Hey, I'm Fast and Furious and I've got this to offer. Go ahead and give this a try. Which one's Fast and which one's Furious?

You figure it out. One's Hobbs and one's fast and which one's furious? You figure it out. One's Hobbs and one's Shaw. I mean, also, it's like they weren't even thinking ahead when they named those characters. Like, what a bland title. Their names could have been, you know, Machete and Cash. Totally common names.

My birth name is actually Stab, so, you know, that's cool. This is the Fast and the Furious we're talking about. It's not like they had their ride. Not a lot of thought. Okay, we're back to Joy-O. They're fun. Lock, sack, and two smoking barrels. Yes.

Hit. Very good. Trey? Yeah, give me a second Do you want to do your plugs? Huh? No, hey, oh John?

Oh, you're going to Lifeline? Yeah, yeah He says Furious 7 Yeah Now you have to say it Furious 7 That is correct. Those are ones I have problems with the titles.

Yeah, they're tricky. Yeah, you don't know if they have an extra title. They're super dumb. Three fast. And he hopped in like halfway through, so it's hard to know anyway. Yeah, they're really hard to keep track of if you get my Tokyo Drift. Oh, wait. He's not in that one. No. really hard to keep track of if you get my Tokyo Drift. Oh! Wait. He's not in that one.

That's why I can say it with impunity. But it's... Whose turn is it? Yours. No wonder. That explains why we're not playing. Yeah. Okay, I'll keep going, Spielberg. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, I'll keep going, Spielberg. Yeah? Yeah, I will.

All right. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Lincoln? Woof. I have no idea. What do you mean? I'm not asking.

He's not asking, he's telling. Lincoln is a correct answer. This list is all over the place. Like, beautiful films by Steven Spielberg and pieces of shit by fucking Jason Statham. Snatch and Lock, Stock were pieces of cinema. No, no, you got me. Those were great.

You're right. Guy Ritchie, yes. Is it my turn? Yeah. Oh, Fate of the Furious. Fate of the Furious. Damn. Yeah.

Spelled with an eight. Yeah. With an eight? Which is an interesting movie because no one's fast at all in that one. They're just furious. Just a lot of sitting like this. Because they're cold.

Joel? I'm not sure. Don't go with the not sure. You want to be sure. I want to be sure. There's other ones you could say. You want to be sure. We just don't want any wrong answers at this point. At this point, I don't want to use my lifeline yet,

and I think this one's right. Wow. Whoa. Did you call me a bitch? You got to calm that down. I think he started with a D. I think he started to and then withdrew it. Bitch.

Bitch. Come on, bitch. It's not even 6 o'clock. Buh. Buh. Come on, buh. It's not even six o'clock. You need to calm down. You have to pace yourself. Yeah, yeah. You got a tree lighting ceremony to go yell at. It's a marathon, not a sprint, man.

Relax. That was a sudden realization in action. Goddamn. I think I'm going to go for it. I believe in myself. Okay. I might be fucked up saving Private Ryan. Yeah.

Yes. I got to save my Ed because I know Ed got one for me. I got to save my Ed. Okay. There we go. That's good strategy, Trey. Fast five. I don't think he was in it yet.

Damn it. Really? I don't think so. He was in damn it really like he was in the one he was in six I think that's where he started six seven eight yeah six seven eight

god damn stop going to see that movie shit he'd be like ten yeah stop it stop it oh they're so good

did you guys see Shaw and Hobbes Hobbes and Shaw you did oh yeah she did shamefully you put your hand up I don't know yeah she's seen the shit wasn't Hobbs? Hobbs' show? You did? Oh, she did. Shamefully, you put your hand up.

I don't know. Yeah. She's seen the shit out of four times. Does anyone want to speak tonight? Three times. In the theater? You go, girl.

And that's funny. Nobody does that shit no more. Remember back in the day when you'd be like, I saw Star Wars 26 times. Nobody does that. She does that, though, with Jason Statham movies,

apparently. Hot damn, you're sliding off your chair. Get back in. That motherfucker's sexy. That voice. But he got to be. I bet. Yeah.

He's probably terrible in bed. He has to, like, something has to be wrong. Something has to be wrong with him. Anyway, go. He's probably mean to animals. Aw. Aw. Go. He's probably mean to animals. He's off. Oh, I just pictured him kicking a... Never mind.

A cat? I support that. Statham or Spielberg. Yeah. I don't even remember what we said so far. We haven't even done half of the Spielberg movies. I know. Close Encounters, did he do those?

No. No, we didn't. Do you want to say it properly? Yes. Close Encounters. Did he do those? No. No, we didn't. Do you want to say it properly? Yes. Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Very good. Yeah. Very good.

Do you know how often I'm going to have you on this show, Trey? What? Oh, no. How often? Always. Oh, that was a good movie. That one almost made me cry, too. You cried at that firefighting movie? Always. Oh, that was a good movie. That one almost made me cry too. You cried at that firefighting movie?

Almost. Okay. Yeah, like that close. It was a remake. Oh, really? When was the original made? A long time ago. Like black and white long time ago?

It was like Spencer Tracy black and white movie, I think. Oh, hot damn. It was something about some guy named Joe. Okay, go ahead. Oh, wait, it's my turn. Yeah. Oh, I said always. Oh, hot damn. Something about some guy named Joe. Okay, go ahead. Oh, wait. It's my turn. Oh, I said always. Go, man. Oh, that's right. Crank.

Oh, man. Joyelle. E.T., the extraterrestrial. He already said it. He said that? Fuck you. Wow, that quick? Yes, because I was happy. I was like i was like what i did it we still watching movies though shit um god damn it there's no way i can't name anymore um ed help a bitch you're on your lifeline i think i'm going it's gonna help you out he's saying ready Player One. Okay. Yeah. Very good. That apparently is a movie.

Yeah, it's very good. That was a good one. Is that Jason? No, that's... Spielberg. That's a Spielberg movie. From what year? A couple years ago.

Two years ago. I don't know his recent work. Yeah. You haven't been keeping up? I haven't been keeping up. Trey? Closing Counters of the fourth kind fuck you I'm gonna murder you

which is real confusing because it's the second movie in the series yeah I'm gonna kill you Trey are you out Trey man are you out Trey man um Steven Spielberg there's gotta be another Statham one that I'm not thinking of oh there is

oh I know but there's even I think there's even more Spielbergs out there yeah I know but there's no way I'm gonna think any of those there's no way I know those just start at the beginning of the alphabet. Work your way.

Make it happen. If you need Gary to help, you could consult with him. He hosts a podcast called Gary Loves Boobies. Really? Because he's a naughty garden gnome. Keep up, Matt. He'll make your boobs look big, dude. I got nothing.

All right, Trey is out, everybody. Sorry, John. You can chant his name anyway if you want. Trey! Trey! Trey! That's so nice. Thank you. That's a fun, that'll be a fun thing. I'll have everybody chant for the person who loses the most.

The biggest loser gets a chant. I can't even fucking argue. That's what's so funny. I tried to tell you to start at the beginning of the alphabet because I thought then you might say Amistad. Oh, I would not have. I didn't say Amistad. Matt. Oh. Crank 2 high voltage. Yes!

Crank 2. Crankier. You thought he was cranky in Crank 1. Check out this bitch in Crank 2. Jason Statham's a fun person to call a bitch what else has that bitch been in? shit

I'm thinking about that that Tom Hanks movie with it's like an express something but I can't help but think about Pineapple Express. And I was like, I know that's not the name of the movie. Yeah, Spielberg didn't direct that anyway. Spielberg didn't direct that one.

It was Polar Express is what you're thinking of. Oh, right, okay. But he didn't direct that. That was the nexus. Shit, I'm drawing a damn blank. Alright, let'm drawing a damn blank. All right, let's give you a second to think about it while Trey does his plugs.

Oh, that's happening? All right. Oh, so for you guys that are actually here, I only have mediums and smalls of those t-shirts, but then if you go to my website and scroll down, TreyGallion.com and scroll down to the bottom, you can get them through there.

And then. Oh, all right. So. I should. Yeah. No, we're all right. What is happening? Are you all right?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. So, no, I got a great run of shows with Jeff Tate, right? I know. Tate, Tate, Tate. And I've known Tate as long as I've known Doug.

So we're doing December 19th and 20th in Atlanta. If you live there, come see us. And then Asheville on December 21st. And then Knoxville on December 22nd and then I'm doing Austin with Dale Cheeseman at the Velveeta Room on January 24th and 25th

and then we're doing Houston on January 31st. Yes, bitch. Fucking A. Trey Galliol. Yeah. Yeah, come see him and get your rolling you got rolling trays today?

I got rolling trays and t-shirts the one size fits all on the rolling tray yeah totally alright Joyelle did you come up with anything? rock and rolla? oh no that's a Guy Ritchie he's not in that one? oh yeah he is

no is he? that's so funny I was correcting her. No that's Guy Ritchie because I thought she meant Spielberg. A lot of good people. Tom Hardy. Sherlock Holmes. You had a good run. Naming Guy Ritchie movies.

I was naming Guy Ritchie directed films. You did great. First time on the show. Sherlock Holmes 2. Very proud of you. I beat Trey. You did great. First time on the show. Sherlock Holmes 2. Very proud of you. Yay. I beat Trey. You did. Okay.

Whoa! No, wait. Thank you, everyone. You guys were just chanting my name, and now you're clapping for her. Chant my name. I want to hear how that sounds. Go.

Joy-O. Joy-O. Joy-O. Joy-O. Joy-O. Joy-O. There you go. Joy-O. Put some deep voice Joy-O. Joy-O. There you go. Joy-O.

Put some deep voice on that bitch. You've heard me chant your name before. Don't play like... No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just talking and smoking weed after shows and shit. Nothing sexual. Why'd you guys have to make it weird? Why are you still talking?

Right. Just let him go. Just let him go. I don't know. Some of that shit must have been a sativa. Finding a bag of words. Look, we're good. We're good.

You know what job you could never do, Trey? What? Spy. Your turn, Matt. Oh, shit. Yeah, he's in a movie called Spy. Oh, that's right. Yeah, he's tricky like that.

The Expendables. Oh, yeah. Come on. Open up a can. The Expendables 2, yo. You saved that one. You saved that one. The Expendables 3.

Oh. Classic. I couldn't understand a word the motherfuckers were saying. Stallone. I mean, the subtitles were. Dude, you know there's still some Fast and Furious ones that haven't been named yet. Are you doing a Stallone impression? It's fucking spot on.

Oh, really? I am that high. The Terminal. Ah, yes. That's where Tom Hanks is stuck in an airport. Damn it. And then I'm the other one. The Italian Job.

Oh. This is fun. Wow. Yeah, fucking Marky Mark and shit. Right? Yeah, he's in there. That's the movie that Ed Norton, Paramount, forced him to do it because he owed them a movie and they just said, you have to be in this movie.

And he was like, okay. And I think he did an okay job under the circumstances. I love him. Yeah, he's a good actor. I want to say one quarter of the Twilight Zone, the movie. Yeah, Spielberg directed one segment in Twilight Zone, the movie.

Yeah, that counts, right? I mean, he was a director. Super 8. No, that's, right? I mean, he was a director. Hmm. Yeah. Super 8. No, that's J.J. Abrams. Oh, he was a writer, like a producer. Shit.

But we both did great. Yeah. Yeah, that was good. I'm ready to wrap it up. Yeah. Yeah, Matt Fernandez is our winner. Well played, Matt. Sarah, come get all your goodies.

Yeah. There she is. There you go. Be careful to bag that handle there. Yeah, you can see it's broken. And yeah, congratulations. Fun. What do you got to plug Matt Fernandez

I'll be in Fort Lauderdale next month you can follow me on Twitter at Fat Fernandez and you can watch my one hour special on Amazon Prime called Why Does Everyone Hate My Mirror I love that and you're going to be somewhere later tonight

oh yeah I'll be at another club in Coral Gables anybody going there I love that. And you're going to be somewhere later tonight? Oh, yeah. I'll be at another club in Coral Gables. Anybody going there? Nah. Who's going to Coral Gables? Y'all aren't 94 years old. Good for you. Who wants to give Matt a ride to Coral Gables?

And Joy L. Johnson. Yes. I'll be watching you tonight. Oh, my God. It's so much fun. Yeah, I'll be here tonight at 7 and 9 30 and in February I'm doing the

Impractical Jokers cruise oh neat that's gonna be so fun and then in March I'm doing the Joko cruise which is

two cruises back to back so I'll probably want to kill myself so yes everyone's gonna be eating yeah I'm excited

but that's gonna to be fun. So yeah, joyelnicole.com, at joyelnicole on Instagram and Twitter. I will, later on, I will give you cruise tips. Please. But I'll give you one right out of the gate. Don't get murdered? No, don't take Trey with you.

Look, man, I only took a lot of acid that one night and it was so much i met lisa lobe are you kidding me i was so tri it was little rainbows and unicorns and kitty cats were popping up behind her and shit it was awesome i'm so happy d Doug Love's movies and The Benson Interruption are both coming to San Francisco Sketch Fest in San Francisco in January. And thank you to everyone for coming out today. Yeah. Thank you to the Miami Improv.

And to all of my guests, Matt Fernandez, Joyelle Johnson, and Trey Galliol. Yeah, you can get, oh, you're going to keep that? I'm going to show it to Alana. She's going to show it to, she's going to show Alana your name tag, so I don't know if you're going to get it back, Ed. And...

What? Well, I don't know if he wants it back. Are you cool with her keeping it? Yeah, you can keep it. Yeah. Good for you. Where'd that lady go? Where'd the lady in pink go? She fucking vanished.

She doesn't want us calling her old up close. All right, thanks, you guys. We'll see you in the back. And as always, positive energy! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing crowd was big. Tip cockies, there's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.

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