Doug Loves Movies - Matt Jones, Haley Joel Osment, Matt Belknap, and Matt Mira Guest

Episode Date: October 14, 2014

Doug welcomes actors Matt Jones and Haley Joel Osment and podcasters Matt Belknap and Matt Mira to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seats With 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies! Thank you! Hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies! I love movies!

Coming to you from the UCB There's a cartoon character in that audience Coming Yay, yay, Doug loves movies! The UCB Theater in Los Angeles, California on Tuesday, October 14th, 2014, Wolf of Wall Street Fight Club. First rule of Wall Street Fight Club. Don't talk about Wolf Street Fight Club.

I was high when I wrote that. And now. I had a great time in Madison, Wisconsin, New York, New York, and Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We put the 12 Guests of Christmas East Coast Edition at the Gramercy Theater

on sale last Tuesday, and it sold out in like six hours. So, yes, thank you. Thank you, Baseball Jordan, for starting that applause break. So, we added a regular Doug Loves Movies on Sunday, November 30th. I'll get some

good guests. Don't you worry about it. And that goes on sale tomorrow, October 15th at noon Eastern Time. So if you're listening to this, tickets are probably on sale. Because this is coming out tomorrow. You get it. Getting Doug with High returns tomorrow

at 4.15 Pacific Standard Time. It can be viewed live on my YouTube channel. That's youtube.com slash Doug Benson. Saturday, this Saturday, October 18th, I'll be doing stand-up in Cincy, Cincinnati at Go Bananas. Yeah. That guy went bananas at the mention of Cincy. And that's at 4.20, of course, ish. And I'll see you guys next door

for a drink at McCleave Lee's Pub at approximately 6 p.m. there in Cincinnati. I think it's actually in Montgomery is the name of where... Anyway, go bananas. That's all you need to know. And Monday, October 20th,

I'm doing stand-up at Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois. Both of those shows. Bring your name tags, because you could win the prize bag, which tonight includes a T-shirt. That's the exact response I was looking for. Let's see what noise the guy makes when I bring out a Roku. We couldn't even hear him

under the din of excitement. We got a Gateway Dog 2, Force Fun. We got a T-shirt from my friends over at Star Wars Minute, which is a great podcast that analyzes Star Wars minute by minute. We also got, of course,

some Pops hot dogs and a couple of CDs we'll tell you about in a second. And then some of the guests were scrambling to come up with something, so we'll see what happens with that. But as you can see, we have four chairs out here and four terrific guests. Please give a big warm welcome to Matt Myra, Matt Belknap, Haley Joel Osment, and Matt Jones is going into the wallet

And Matt Jones everybody 25 Euros Matt Jones is going into the wallet. Matt Jones, everybody. 25 euros. Holy shit. In the bag, courtesy of Matt Jones. Why don't you sign one of them? I got a Sharpie, because I don't make it extra valuable. Oh, maybe I don't have a Sharpie.

I don't have a Sharpie. Why would I lie about that? What would I say? I have a Sharpie. I'll find one. Does anybody else have a Sharpie. Why would I lie about that? What would I say? I have a Sharpie. I don't. I'll find one. Does anybody in the audience have a Sharpie? Just toss it up here if you do, along with any joints or hamburgers. See, one came flying in immediately. Just don't say that about knives.

It's right under you. It's right under your seat. There you go. Awesome. Yeah, there you go. Haley Joel Osment was like, I see Sharpies. And we'll talk to him in a second, but let's say further hello to Matt Jones,

Badger from the hit program Weeds. He was on Weeds, right? Yeah, I was on Weeds. Showtime And thanks for being here It's your first time on the show

Yeah, we've tried to hook up a bunch of times I don't know if that's the way I want to put it No, we tried to kiss We're finally gonna fuck It's finally happening But yeah, I appreciate that we have had some misconnections, but we're here.

And Craigslist made it work. And just in case anyone hasn't figured out yet, I decided to have an all-Matt panel. Yeah, with Matt Jones, Matt Myra, Matt Belknap, and Haley Joel Osment. Haley Joel Osment is here, everybody. Yeah! He brought for the prize bag signing the other side of

the Euros that Matt brought. And those are extra worthwhile Euros. They're worth more money now. Yeah, get both of them there. Wouldn't this be weird if this is our way of tricking you into getting your fortune?

I wish Interpol burst in and clubbed you for defaming their money. It looks like monopoly money. I think so. I don't think you're allowed to do that, but certainly in America you can. Nobody's going to take that no matter what's

written on it. Matt Meyer is here, you guys. He brought a shirt for the prize bag. I did. And it's, what does it say on it? It says enjoy your burrito. Oh, okay. You guys say that on Nerdist.

To ladies extra large. Enjoy that. Really? Yeah, sure's a lady's extra large. Enjoy that. Really? Yeah, sure is. So an extra large lady is smaller than all of us. That's interesting.

I had no idea. It's just science, Doug. And Matt Belknap is here, you guys. Just yesterday, I recorded a podcast with him, the Never Not Funny podcast, and of course his henchman Jimmy Pardo was there. Matt, when can people hear that episode?

Do you know? Tomorrow night. It goes up tomorrow night. Oh, there you go. That's Wednesday night. Yeah, Wednesday night. So they'll hear this maybe in the afternoon, and they go check it out almost immediately.

And you brought, of course, you represent AST Records, the specialty records.com. And so you brought for the prize bag one of your latest release by a gentleman named Jared Logan, very funny guy, and it's called My Brave Battles. That's the newest thing you can get at AST Records. You got records by me and Greg Proops and Paul F. Tompkins, Jen Kirkman. I could go on and on if I had a better memory.

And then also in the prize bag from my friend's band you may have heard of called Weezer, their new release, Everything Will Be Alright in the End. Yeah. And that title doesn't match up with the artwork at all, because it looks like that monster's going to fuck people up. There's a monster on the cover. Yeah, but after that, it's going to be fine. Yeah.

Once the monster's eaten everybody, then they'll be in a better place. I've actually listened to that album and it's good. Well, thank you so much for that ringy endorsement. I hope they put

the quote in the ads. It's dot, dot, dot. Good. Good. Yeah, if you go up on the end there, it sounds like you're lying, but I believe you

because I've heard a bunch of the tracks, and I enjoy it. And so I hope people, hope Wins Surprise Bag tonight enjoys it and sends us a nice tweet letting us know how much they love the new Weezer album. If they ever do another Weezer cruise, I've been told I get to be on it. So I'll give away their shit until that happens. Is there a band you won't go on a cruise with? Yes. Do the 311 cruise. Yes't go on a cruise with? Yes. Do the 311 cruise. Yes.

Do you want a list? Yes. Here we go. Nickelback. And this is in alphabetical order. So all bands in A through L just dodged a bullet. M, yes. Oh, yes.

The band M. That's right. That's right. That's weird. Which weird coincidence. We talk about it on Never Not Funny. That doesn't come out until tomorrow. Today, if you're listening today. Oh, this is so confusing.

I'm just going to move on. Have you guys been to the movies lately? Matt and Ira, have you seen anything lately? The last thing I saw was the re-release of Ghostbusters. I know. It was good. Guys, it was restored. It was restored. It looked good. It looked great. It was a good print.

The folks at the Arclight stayed in there to make sure the sound was right and the picture was good. They just say that. They'd fucking take a powder like two seconds later. But I do love that theater, though. And Ghostbusters, there's a lot of buzz about the, is it going to be a reboot? Or is it, what do you think it's going to be? What the rumors are saying, and I'm on the internet.

But what rumor Willis is saying is what? Rumor is saying I have not had surgery, even though my chin looks smaller. But what the internet rumors are saying is that it's going to be an all-female cast. Paul Feig's going to head that up, which sounds great to me. But then they're like, it's going to have nothing to do with the Ghostbusters universe. So the new Ghostbusters takes place in a world where there's only women?

So far. As far as I know. But it was supposed to be, originally it was supposed to be, like, the original incarnation of Ghostbusters, the Dan Aykroyd script, was supposed to be a chain of these, like, exterminators, these Ghostbusters. So it was, like, supposed to be Dan Aykroyd and Belushi. Like a franchise. Yeah, like a franchise thing.

So I was thinking, oh, they'll open up the world to that. But what they're saying now is that, like, Pete Venkman doesn't exist in this world. Right. Which sounds, I don't know. Okay. Yeah, they're saying that if there's any cameos from the original Ghostbusters, they won't be playing

their original characters. I don't care for that. That's stupid. Yeah. That's disappointing and stupid. It's totally DNS. Oh my God,

I love that. Matt Belknap, I should also mention that you guys are doing the podcast-a-thon again this year. The Never Not Funny Guys. And so are you. I will be a guest.

I will only be like 20 minutes or maybe, how long are the guests there? A half hour of the 20 Hours of Madness or whatever it is. That's a DLM exclusive. We haven't announced any guests, but you're the first. All right, well, and maybe I won't show up. Maybe I'll blow it off. Maybe they'll be like, eh, fuck Smile Train. Kids with cleft

palates, they'll be fine. Leave them alone. No, it's a great cause. You sounded like me describing the Weezer album. No, it's actually a great cause. Yeah, it's a dot, dot, dot, great cause. I just think that, you know, they should put Denzel Washington in charge of the Smile Train.

It is Joaquin Phoenix. Did he have a cleft palate? Yes. Yeah, he did great, right? Yeah, it worked out for him. Smile Train visited over the... I'm just saying it might not be that bad. He just wasn't as messed up

as some of the other kids. And also, there's a new voice train, and that's to help kids that grow up sounding like you. I'm telling you, it's not that bad either. It's not that bad. It's a fucking moneymaker. Somebody told me. No, that's why I was making fun of it,

because I already know kind of the back story. Somebody was telling me about how you, you know, basically your voice just got shot, and you thought it was going to hurt your career, and then things really picked up, because let's get the guy with the shot voice. Yeah, yep, yep, yep. I do a lot of cartoons.

A lot of young, fat children. I sound like everybody's fat kid. I was going to say, like how many characters in cartoons have emphysema it's all like oh but it's the young fat children they do

cause they try to run up the stairs every log line says exercise induced asthma yeah Matt I brought up all that stuff and forgot to get back to

have you seen a movie lately I did see Gone Girl yeah okay you took your kids yeah matinee Sunday matinee yeah and you said it Have you seen a movie lately? I did see Gone Girl. Okay. You took your kids? Yeah. Matinee.

Sunday matinee. Yeah. And you said it, and you don't seem that excited about it. Did we talk about it on Never Not Funny? A little bit, yeah. I didn't, yeah. Oh, that's right. You were not into it. I thought it was going to be like a drama.

I didn't know it was like a kind of trashy thriller. Like, I could get into that kind of movie, but I didn't expect it. I thought it was going to be like Oscar. Right, right. If they made a movie about you watching Gone Girl, it would be called He's Just Not That Into You. Yeah. And Ben Affleck would be like, oh, burn. I was in both.

And then he flies away. You really double got me. I just, like, I feel like they just took an Ashley Judd script and just crossed out her name and put in Ben Affleck. That's right. That's what we did discuss. So everybody listen to Never Not Funny and you'll hear the whole discussion about that. You'll hear version

1.0 of that non-joke I just said. Yeah. We have a lot of fun with it. And then, Haley, have you seen anything lately? Yeah. Unfortunately for the business, the best things I've seen in the theater this summer have you seen anything lately? Yeah. Unfortunately for the business, the best things I've seen in the theater this summer have been re-releases. And I was in New York a couple weeks ago,

and they did There Will Be Blood with Johnny Greenwood and a full orchestra in this huge church in Harlem, which was a really neat experience. That sounds crazy. A full orchestra to be like... They did. So I was wondering... They got the guy that plays Skrillex's

air horn. It's like Gone Girl. I like Gone Girl quite a bit, but one of the things I didn't like about it was the score has that Inception sound in it that's in every movie now. Blah. Blah. You can't... That's Inception.

Like, since Jaws, every scary movie doesn't have bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Or, you know, nobody's going, ah, ah, ch-ch. You know, every time a serial killer shows up, you know, you can't take that shit. But I know what's happening when you're making that noise. Blah.

Oh, the ship's leaving the harbor. I thought I was watching an intimate drama about a man who murders his wife maybe. So Haley what did you say you saw? There Will Be Blood. Oh that's right. Yeah.

See I'm excited about the new PTA movie because it's set in a time where the music isn't it's like got more of where the music isn't it's like got more of a contemporary score and also is like

apparently a flat out comedy and Pynchon is in it too apparently in a cameo which you'll have to look for who?

Thomas Pynchon really? yeah yeah so it's like the first time he's ever appeared in it it'll be really crazy me looking for

Thomas Pynchon because I will I will think that everybody could be Thomas Pynchon except for Joaquin Phoenix because I'd be like, oh, there's Hairlip. It's a callback. There he is again.

Matt Jones, what have you seen? Have you did anything as culturally stimulating as Hayley? Oh, like a week ago I had a day where I just needed, I was sick. So I just watched a bunch of movies. I watched three Michael J. Fox movies in a row.

I watched The Secret of My Success. This is interesting. Okay. Which had the bonk, bonk. And that was already taken. Yep. And they also. It's in another movie already.

And they also played the song Secret of My Success in the movie seven times. What? Seven times. Yeah, Secret of My Success is that I'm living 25 hours a day, seven times. Wait, are you sure you weren't watching it? I counted it. Were you watching it on Netflix or TV?

On Netflix. And was it performed by an old blues man? Yeah, it was. It was it performed by an old blues man? Yeah. That's what you sounded like. It was also in a church in Harlem. It was. So I watched that, Secret of My Success. Okay, all right.

I watched Doc Hollywood. Boom. Thank you. Oh, shit. And then I watched The Hard Way. Hard Way. All right. With James Woods.

Yeah, not a great movie. I dare to say all three of those are not great movies. Secret of My Success is a perfect 80s movie. It is perfect. Oh, really? You think it's better than Back to the Future, for example? Because that came out in 1985. No, no, no, because we're going to talk about,

within genres, Back to the Future is a perfect fantasy sci-fi. Bullshit, it's a perfect 80s movie. Okay, sure, in the grand scheme. It's a perfect 80s movie. Okay, sure. In the grand scheme. It's a perfect movie. Please don't fight, Matt. I'm talking about romantic comedy. Romantic comedy.

Perfect romantic comedy. There's romance in Back to the Future. With who? With Jennifer. His mom? And his mother. The most romantic Back to the Future. There's romance.

There's that part where he stops his mom's rape. There's romance and there's attempted romance. There's that part where he stops his mom's rape. There's romance and there's attempted romance. Doug, Doug, I agree with Matt about this. Oh, okay. Thank you, Matt. We don't know who you're agreeing with. Thank you.

I love it. Matt Jones is in a movie. Matt Jones is in a movie. You play cowboy dick in something called A Merry Friggin' Christmas? Yes. Tell us about that. I don't know much about it. You just showed up one day in a cowboy outfit and were a total dick?

No, there's this Christmas movie, like a family Christmas movie with Robin Williams and... Joel McHale, right? Oh my God, Joel McHale and... A bunch of people. A bunch of people.

Star-studded. And it's great. And I'm in like some scenes. Wait, you just... You just said it's great. No, I haven't seen it. You said,

I don't know much about it. Then followed it up with with it's great. Oh yeah. What the fuck am I supposed to say? Oh, I know a lot about it. It's fucking terrible. No, it's Hollywood. You say everything is great.

You want to have another job, man. I get you. Hayley is currently starring in Tusk, of course. And then also... Sex Ed is coming out on November 7th. That's correct. Yeah, and I saw it.

Oh, really? I did get to see it in a theater up in Portland. I missed you by a day at the film festival there. And we all laughed and got extremely uncomfortable because in the film, Haley plays a young man who is so passionate about teaching high schoolers about sex ed. Middle schoolers, even younger. Middle schoolers. Oh, Jesus.

You made it grosser. This is intense. It's so intense. Middle schoolers, he's so into teaching them about sex ed that he just starts teaching them it when he's just supposed to watch them during detention without getting permission. He starts showing them diagrams of vaginas and then talking the talk.

And he's also a virgin. Wow. Have I said too much? Yeah, yeah. But it's a very funny movie. And like I said, also kind of there's some awkwardness because you're teaching these children these things, and some people wouldn't agree with it necessarily. But I thought it reminded me of Jack Black wanting so badly to teach the children music

that I think Sex Ed should be called School of Cock. We'll take that into consideration. I've made my peace. I've said what I wanted to say. I've made my peace I've said what I wanted to say but November 7th and the lovely Lorenza Izzo has been a guest on the show a couple of times

because she actually won the game one week, I think it was because Eli Roth was helping her but then she came back and tried on her own didn't do so well but she's great and she's in it Retta was also on the show recently and she's in it. And Retta was also on the show recently and she's in it.

She's so funny in it. Your scenes with her, she just gives it to you so straight and so hard. Yeah, Abby Elliott gives me trouble. Matt Walsh gives me trouble for that movie. Your scenes with Matt Walsh are so funny. Clearly a lot of improvisation

there. I decided to make up a word yeah to describe what was going on there a lot of improvisation like so much it wasn't just improvisation you added stuff

yeah I say to people stick around for the end credits because you would have to continue to go at it oh shit Jackson shows up and recruits you?

We need to teach Thor about sex. Oh, and quickly before moving on, I just want to mention Matt Meyer, of course, is the co-host of Attack of the Show. At one point. The dearly departed. The dearly departed. You actually are currently hosting many things, but one of them is James Bonding, which I enjoy being on. Thank you.

I enjoy the idea of it and that it exists. Yep, still exists. It still exists. How long until you get through? How many are there? 23? There's 23. There'll be 24.

We're going to keep, as the movies, we're still a little bit behind right now. We have four more movies left. But as they, we're going to, it's going to be a fun thing. We take the podcast out of dry dock every couple of years just to do the new movie. Oh, I see. You're already four away from being completely done. Yeah, yeah.

That's crazy. We're saving it. We're doing a big live View to a Kill episode in the new year because everyone wanted that movie for some reason. So can we line that date up for me to be there? Yeah, absolutely. Doug will be on the View to a Kill episode of James Bond. It's one of the worst ones. Yep, sure is. Sure is awful.

But also I put the theme song in the top 15. I agree. I put it in the top 5 last week. Holy shit. Alright. So Matt, what's your favorite James Bond movie? If you had to pick one. Cas shit. Yeah. All right. So Matt, what's your favorite James Bond movie?

If you had to pick one. Casino Royale. It's Casino Royale. The newer one, obviously. Yeah. Not the one with David Niven.

But you've stood by that for a while. Yeah, and then my other, my second favorite one, which was my favorite until that came out, was From Russia With Love.

Yeah, you go way back. Yeah. All right, Matt Belknap, what's your favorite until that came out, was From Russia With Love. Yeah, you go way back. Matt Belknap, what's your favorite James Bond movie? I would maybe also go From Russia With Love, although when I was a kid, I watched Never Say Never Again like a million times. That's not an Eon production. I don't count it. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry.

Let's not start this argument. That was like my entry point and I think that's what I think of when I think of James Bond even though it's completely It's the first one you fucked. Entry point. Yeah. Yeah, it's just a

it's just a thunderball. It's like a lesser It is thunderball. They just remade thunderball if like James Bond was older and crankier and was going to drop out again after he was done.

Yeah. And kind of kind of launched Kim Basinger's more serious career because strangely enough she was She was done. Yeah. And kind of launched Kim Basinger's more serious career because strangely enough she was, her acting wasn't as bad

as most Bond girls. It's very true. Not hard to do. No. Take a look at Denise Richards in The World Is Not Enough. That's amazing.

What is she playing that? A geologist? She's a nuclear physicist. Oh, physicist. Yeah. That makes sense. Named Christmas Jones. Because she only comes once a year. Haley, do you have a favorite James Bond movie?

Don't mean to put you on the spot. No, it's far from the best, but my favorite is because I had a friend whose parents went all in on Laserdiscs and we used to watch Moonraker on Laserdiscs. Moonraker. There's like 16 LaserDiscs, and we used to watch Moonraker on LaserDiscs. Moonraker. And there was like 16 LaserDiscs you have to put in. The response to the success of Star Wars was, we got to fucking put Bond in space.

Immediately, yeah. It's fun to watch that every three or four movies, they're clearly responding to movies. So like, 89, when they did License to Kill, they were like, oh, I guess we should just put a drug cartel in this for no reason. Yeah. Make her real bloody. And Live and Let Die

reacted to Smokey and the Bandit. Yes! And added a fucking Hick Sheriff who was chasing him for a while and saying stupid shit.

I thought Live and Let Die was a reaction to Blaxploitation because there's also like a crazy... Oh, it is. Yeah. Yeah, Yafit Kodo

was big at the time. They got it all in there. They got James Seymour in there. Well, you know, License to Kill is a reaction of all 80s action movies because at one point for no reason, James Bond is attacked by a ninja

in South America. I think that outfit works no matter where you are. Any time of year. It's gorgeous. Matt Jones, favorite James Bond movie? Her Majesty's Secret Service. You like the darker,

more... It's like the independent film of Bond movies. You know what I mean? It's like, it has, I don't know, it seems the most original.

That's Lazenby, right? That's George Lazenby. Is that where he cries at the end? original. That's Lazenby, right? Is that where he cries? Yeah. At the end, yeah. That's unprecedented for James Bond. Yeah, he cries because his wife just got shot in the head. Yeah.

Because James Bond feels. She's like a bullet in the forehead. It's nasty. Diana Rigg hated working with George Lazenby so much that she has said later that she was so happy that she got a bullet in the head so she didn't have to be

in another movie with him. Nice. That's awesome. And then of course he didn't make any more James Bond movies and why would she be in another one

because she got a bullet in her head. Also I think the worst one ever is Tomorrow Never Dies. Really? Fuck you. That is so bad.

I disagree other Matt. So bad. That's the Holly Berry one right? No. Fuck you. That is so bad. I disagree, other Matt. So bad. That's the Holly Berry one, right? No. Oh, shit.

Who said yes? Which is the Holly Berry one? No, Die Another Day. Die Another Day. That's what I'm thinking of.

Which I will back you up. He's not even naming a movie. He's just asking you, please, fucking die.

Not today. Just another day. Die Another Day. That's what I'm talking about. Halle Berry is so bad that they should have taken her Oscar back. Like, Cap will be bad. They should. Just another day. Die another day. That's what I'm talking about. Halle Berry is so bad that they should have taken her Oscar back.

Like, Catholic bad. They should have been like, what the fuck are you doing? Because there's a scene where she comes out of the water. She looks great.

The whole Ursula Andress thing. She looks amazing. And then she just like, for no, I mean, I guess they said do this, but she just like looks

at Pierce Brosnan's dick and goes, wow, that's a mouthful. Yeah. You sure he didn't just say a long sentence right before? He said that I'm an ornithologist. There you go.

I don't care. Don't look at his dick. The guy likes birds. That was also the one where they were pushing that hideous new Ford Thunderbird, and you expect it to appear in the movie, and it appears in a terrible zoom shot where she drives 15 feet and then valets the car. That's the action that the car appears in the movie. Because clearly B-Unit was like, oh, we didn't put the car in.

We'll just drive up to the ice hotel and go home. That was the fun period of time where Ford owned Aston Martin and Jaguar. Oh, yeah. So they're like, well, you can have this Aston Martin, but have you seen our new Thunderbird? Oh, man. Die Another Day is also the one with Alan Cumming clicking his pen over and over again. Nope, Goldeneye. That's Goldeneye.

Goldeneye, yeah. That's a good one. That's what I didn't like about Goldeneye. I thought that was contrived. Three clicks, then two clicks. Then they rigged the pen to explode or whatever. They didn't rig it. It was three clicks to arm it, two clicks off.

Real simple. If you were just listening to Q's briefing, it wasn't a problem. It totally counted on a villain that likes to click the pen too much. Like, how would they know that ahead of time when they create that device? If you want to hear about us talk about these movies for longer than the actual movies, listen to James Bonding.

Yeah, check out James Bonding. I was on, what did I do? Diamonds Are Forever. Diamonds Are Forever. That's probably what I'd cite as my favorite. I enjoy that. I like that he goes to Vegas, and Thumper and Bambi are a lot of fun. He's got a really good mistake where the car goes in the alley up on two wheels

and then comes out the other side on the other two wheels. Yeah, and then Cubby Broccoli was like, how much will this cost to fix? And they were like, this much. And he was like, all right, just put a scene in where they tilt the other way inside the car. And then they did. So it's just this and then they're out.

It's very weird. So dumb. It's weird. But it's also got the classic where the bad guy throws the girl out the window and then they say how did you know there was a pool down there and he said I didn't. No no no you threw her out the way and then he goes I didn't know there was a pool down there. Yeah there you go. And then they switch, I didn't know there was a pool down there. Yeah, there you go.

And then they switched it around in Wolverine. Yeah. And the Asian girl goes, did you know there was a pool down there? Yeah. And then she says, no time for love, Dr. Jones, right? Yes. Holy shit. We're running way behind.

Apologies. Put your hands together. Let's, let's, let the games begin. Let's, let's pick some name tags, you guys. Matt and Haley, go pick a name tag you want to play for and then bring it back to your seat. And don't read the shithead on the back out loud. And while they do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back.

We're back. Hey. Who are you playing for, Matt Myra? I am playing for Kayla, who made a poster that Kayla after tomorrow. And if you want a job on At Midnight writing our hashtags, come on over. We're out of puns. Kayla came up with the one, and you're like, let's fire her. I haven't heard this one yet.

She's got to have more in her. Thank you, Kayla, for that. It's a nice poster, though. Yeah, it's great. You wasted a lot of ink, and you're not out of Sienna. Good job. She's got a nice post-it on the back with her shithead. Who are you playing for, Matt Belknap?

I think Breezy Puffs. That's her name on Twitter. Okay. At Breezy Puffs. And I got Chewbacca here. He's a fan of your other podcast, Getting Doug With High. He's got a pin. And he did it all for the Wookiee. It's a joke I did not see when I picked

this name tag. Do you want to trade it back? That's a great Star Wars pun. Fired. Hired. I think that pun's limp. Biscuit! And then, what else is the Wookiee doing? He's holding a

Pez dispenser. He's holding up a Stormtrooper Pez dispenser. What is this? This is a clone. That's a clone, yeah. That's a clone trooper. There you go. So it's almost like he's saying, hey, I got this. He's got the scalp.

I've got this thing, and I'm going to fuck it. I see it as like he scalped a clone trooper and is holding up his. That's very violent. He's quite the warrior. How else do you explain this? I would interpret that as he just found a helmet, put it on top of a stick that as he just found a helmet. Put it on top of a stick that said Pez.

So literal. All right, Mads. Haley. I am playing for Jake, whose avatar is Yoda. So I have Yoda here in front of me. I like Yoda's turn around for the audience. Look at his hair on his head. He's got this little, like, cotton balls glued to his head. Did you add that? It doesn't look like him around for the audience. Look at his hair on his head. He's got this little, like, cotton balls glued to his head.

It doesn't look like it came with the toy. Did you retrofit him with that hair? And there's some button on the... Oh, is this a camera? Oh, my God. Oh, is it a Yoda nanny cam? Is it a Magic 8-Ball? A Yoda Magic 8-Ball?

Fuck, someone make that. You know what this is? Try again, you will? That kind of thing? Yes! I remember this thing. They have, like make that. You know what this is? Try again, you will? That kind of thing? Yes! I remember this thing. It had a remote control with it, right? And it would say different phrases.

Yeah, and the remote was a lightsaber. And you have to point it at this thing on his chest. How lazy do you have to be to need a remote for your Yoda toy? I need some motivation, but I just can't get up to it. Nice. All right, Matt Jones, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Punch Drunk Jake. He took a Punch Drunk Love DVD case and put his name on it.

Yeah, but he put more of a Hasidic beard on it. Yeah, because that's what he looks like. There it is. He looks like a Jewish-er Adam Sandler. Not possible. I want to say Jew-ier, but is that offensive? I think it's all...

We probably should just stop talking about it. Let's probably just move on. Especially because we've got to play a game, but we've also got to determine who's going to go first in our game today. So let's do some lines with Mark. You guys want to do some fucking lines or what? Wow, extra energetic Mark Wahlberg.

New York City! We're back in L.A. now, Mark. Los Angeles! How you guys doing? You doing good or what? Yeah, we're doing great. I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long back there. I'm sorry, I got some reps in.

You usually get to this quicker. Oh, wait, he does look pretty buff. He busted pumped up before he came out. Oh, yeah, right. We're doing Pain and Gain 1.5. What is... Half a rep. Okay.

So Mark's going to say a line from a motion picture, hopefully one that people know. And it's up to him. I don't have anything to do with it. And you guys, first person that knows it, just say it into your microphone. Get your microphone ready, Matt. Oh, there it is.

Ready. And yeah, as soon as he says it. Here we go. Ready? If you know it, just shout it out. Look, I feel good. Look, I feel good. Here we go.

Was that part of it? No. This is how I get going, bro. All right. You failed me. You failed me. You failed me. You failed me.

Now, let me ask you a quick question. Did this character say this five times, or are you repeating the same line over and over again? He says it about four times. Four times, okay. You failed me. Okay, do three more. I'll do a different one.

A different line from the same movie? Same movie. I can do all day, bro. Nobody has a guess yet? You failed me, you failed me, you failed me, you failed me? Now that's me talking. Do you know why you're scared when you're alone? I do.

I do. Do you know why you're scared when you're alone? I do. That sounds familiar. I do. What is it? Do you know why you're scared when you're alone? Matt Jones with the incorrect answer.

It is a success. Oh, Jesus. What did they say you failed me? Right before he says that fucking line, the character has one scene. You know who it is? It's Donnie. Donnie.

It's Donnie Walber. He begged me for an hour and a half. I go, Donnie, until that garbage goes out, I'm not going to fucking say the line. And then I made a deal. I go, I'm going to say you failed me because one, you say it in the movie and two, it's what you do to me every fucking time.

See, I thought... I told you Haley would be on here. I thought you'd say one of his lines from Sixth Sense. Are you on that? Yeah, I still wouldn't have one of his lines from Sixth Sense. Are you on that? I was, Mark. Good job, though. I really liked it. Thank you, Mark. I gotta go. Donnie's waiting. He's got ice cream.

Nice to meet you, Mark. Greatest 80s movie? The Burbs. Don't fucking forget it. Big Joe Dante fan back there. I think he just likes that one. He just loves the Burbs. It's great. All right, let's play Last Man Stanton

because we don't have a lot of time, but I do want to have a fun game here. It smells like Mark Wahlberg has used the microwave incorrectly back there. He probably put Donnie's ice cream in it. He put a cup of noodles in with no water. Oh, shit. Don't worry, I got my weed, everybody.

It's right back here in my pocket. Safe and sound. All right, so we got to decide who we're going to... So Matt Jones gets to go first, then we'll go to Haley,. Safe and sound. All right, so we've got to decide who we're going to... So Matt Jones gets to go first, then we'll go to Haley, Matt, and Matt, and then Matt again. I'm going to sit this one out just to get through it. Let's let the audience decide.

I've got two options. Do you think we should do Matt Damon, or in honor of all the Matts being on stage tonight or in honor of Haley, his co-star, Bruce Willis from Sixth Sense. Bruce Willis.

Alright, here we go. The films of Bruce Willis, you guys. Belknap just goes, fuck. Matt Jones gets to go first out of all the Bruce Willis movies. The Kid. Okay.

I would have holstered that one if I were you. Yes. Because nobody else would have remembered that. But okay. And you know, I'm not going to go full-blown technical on you, but I swear to God, that movie's called Disney's The Kid.

Oh, no. Yeah, but I'll let that one slide. Okay, okay. As Mark Wahlberg likes to say, I'll give you one. Haley? Twelve Monkeys. Of course, you know you could have said Sixth Sense, right? I couldn't pick out a line from about five minutes ago,

so I'm going to stay away. You went the dignified route. All right. Twelve Monkeys. Die Hard. Yes. Cop Out. Mm-hmm.

We're back to you, Matt. Die Hard. Wait, no. Wait, no. Come on. Die Hard 2. Yes. I'm trying to remember.

It was like, you know, Wes Craven's Die Hard 2. No, it's... It was Rennie Harlan, but it was also, you know, Wes Craven's Die Hard. No, it's... It was Rennie Harlan, but it was also... A lot of people say that it's unofficially called Die Harder. But I agree with the unofficial part.

So I'll give it to you. Let's continue with Die Hard with a Vengeance. Live free or die hard. You guys are great at this That's off the table We're done Alright yeah no more dying hard

Is that me? It is Hudson Hawk Which is better than I think it's one of the most beloved Movies that was considered a failure Of all time Because most people when pressed go, it wasn't that bad.

Probably up there with Ishtar. For being not awful. Not awful, but a huge failure because it just didn't work at the time. But I'll watch Hudson Hawk right now. Let's do it. Fuck this podcast. Let's go, Doug. We only got a few minutes left.

Alright, then we'll go do it. Then we'll go do it. What a fun Tuesday. I'm going to go watch Hudson Hawk with Matt Meyer. That's his next podcast. It's really coming. Hudson Hawking. We'll do one minute of Hudson Hawk each week,

like Star Wars minute. Who are we on here? Hayley? Pulp Fiction. Mm-hmm. I think for the game Last Man Stanton, I have to say Last Man Standing. Oh, my God.

Yeah. Get a nice head in there. So clever. Looper. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Story of Us.

Oh. Deep cut. Nice. You really could have saved a couple of these for later. I could only remember these at the time. Hayley? Mercury Rising. That's a really good poll. With Sarah Jessica Parker

was his girl in that. Belknap? We didn't actually say it, so the sixth sense. That was still up for grabs, you cheating fuck. Sin City? See him there?

Yeah, he is. You don't want to end your answer with is he in that? You want to be more positive. Matt? Death Becomes Her. Nice.

That's a fun one. Oh, I just thought of one. It's easier when you're not playing. Haley? The Fifth Element. Yes. It's a good Halloween costume when girls just take some tissue paper

and wrap it around themselves a few times. Say they're from the Fifth Element. Leeloo. Leeloo, yeah. Unbreakable? You said it like you weren't sure. I'm not. I'm suddenly questioning everything. That might be my second favorite.

I'm sorry, third favorite after Sixth Sense and Pulp Fiction. Oh, okay, wow. Season one of Moonlighting. Is that really what you're going with? Matt Meyer is out. I'm out. You're out.

In the interest of... Time. We're doing pretty good. We still got a minute left. Matt Jones. I'm out. The guy ran through the fucking kid

he got death becomes her yeah he really pulled out some weird ones yeah I think you've done your job Matt Jones there's still a shit ton

more though yeah I know that's the problem it's the crazy thing it's so prolific it's so yeah oh that's what's wrong yeah

Kaylee um Moonrise Kingdom. Yeah. Wow. Matt pounds the table. Belknap? G.I. Joe?

Yeah. That'll work. I don't know the rest of the title. I'm sorry, sir. I'm trying to think of it. No. Now I know it. G.I. Joe Retaliation.

G.I. Joe Retaliation. The first G.I. Joe was a sequel. The first G.I. Joe is Rise of the Cobra, yeah. He's only in the sequel. That's the movie where I learned how awesome the Arclight ceiling is, because it's so fucking boring. The dome has a nice ceiling. Oh, yeah. It looks like you're

in a bee. It looks like you're in Spaceship Earth at Disney. A honeycomb or something. Yeah. A big golf bowl. Oh, my God. I'm going to let Matt have that one. Oh, that's weak. Okay, you're out. You're out. He wasn't in the first one. Oh, I got a good one. Fuck.

Wait, it's just Haley now, right? To me? Oh. Does he have to name one more? No, I think he already did name one, didn't he? No, he... Yeah, he did. He's a Moonrise fan.

You could do another one, though. I'll do a deep cut. His first movie, he's an extra in the courtroom in The Verdict with Paul Newman. Whoa. There you go. Let's see. extra in the courtroom in The Verdict with Paul Newman. Whoa.

What was the one that he was in with Dustin Hoffman and Nicole Kidman? What was that called? What? Look Who's Talking. No, it's not Look Who's Talking, but of course he was in Look Who's Talking, Look Who's Talking 2.

I thought of that earlier and I forgot. He was in Red and Red 2. Armageddon. The Expendables. Armageddon. What the fuck? He's done a lot. Do-over.

Too many. First Date. Or Blind Date. Blind Date. Blind Date. Last Boy Scout. One of my favorites. The Expendables.

North. North. That's what I was trying to think of. You Expendables? North. That's what I was trying to think of. You wore a fucking bunny suit. Over the Hedge. Four rooms. We get it. You're all better at this than us. An entire crowd of people can think of more names than four guys. Three guys named Matt and Haley Joel Osment.

Anyone can add one more. That's the trick to it. When you're not playing, you can always just jump in and go, well, how about this one? Look who's talking, too. Yeah, exactly. How about season two of Moonlighting? But I knew Bruce would be a good one to play with,

and congratulations to Haley Joel Osment. Thank you. For winning on behalf of the person with the Yoda Yoda doll. Come get your prize bag. Yoda guy. What's his name? What's your actual name? Jake.

What's your actual name, Jake? Jake, don't fuck with me. Jake. What's your real name? Jake, what is your real name? Jake, god damn it! I like that, but you don't get it. Do you need passing down some shitheads to you? Yeah, yeah.

Anything to plug, Matt Myra? Watch at midnight, every midnight at Comedy Central, Tuesday through Friday. It's not really every midnight. And why don't you go on iTunes and buy My Ray and the Highway? It's a comedy album I did with Jonah Ray that's on iTunes. Yeah. Go get that.

You guys did a comedy album together? We did. You're not a team? No, I know. And if you listen, you'll agree. Oh, okay. Strong pitch. Check it out, everybody.

Matt Belknap, what do you got going on, buddy? Never Not Funny is on Earwolf and iTunes. The podcast you mentioned earlier is the day after Thanksgiving, noon to midnight, 12 plus hours. And that will be at Acme Theater. Tickets are sold out, but you can watch it at NeverNotFunny.com. Nice. We'll do an auction on there.

We'll do an auction for a guest seat on Doug Love's movies. Be a guest on this show. Yeah. I was thinking also maybe we should do them for the other podcast too. Be on Dining with Doug and Karen and getting Doug high. People want to be on all of them. Do it all in one day. You can eat, get baked, then come here.

Here's a little behind the scenes. That's pretty much what I did today. I don't know if people know, I field Doug's emails for this show because I'm one of the producers of it and so many people email to be on Getting Doug With High. No one really emails to be on this show.

I think they realize there's no chance, but everyone seems to think they can be on Getting Doug With High. Everybody thinks it'll be that one time where I'm just like, yeah, let's just have a regular Joe on. This guy that just happened to randomly email me all the emails are like

I've smoked a lot of pot yeah yeah I could put your guests to shame or whatever I could smoke more than that guy it's like well yeah

what if a guy was like I'm a scientist and I've never smoked pot before I don't I might have them on, but probably not. We could find somebody that's famous

that's never smoked pot before. Make them do it. Like Haley Joel Osment, for instance. Sex Ed, November 7, on which, like, 10 cities? Yeah, check out our Twitter. We're in Austin, Tampa, Phoenix, New York, and Los Angeles, and a few other cities.

Tampa's where it takes place. Where we shot it, too. That's a whole podcast in itself. It's an interesting city. I've spent some time in Ybor City. That's where we shot it, yeah. Interesting place. And then Mark neglected to mention earlier

that the two of us will be appearing in the Entourage movie coming up in the spring. So that's after that. Wow, you're both in it? When he's done with the microwave. Matt Jones, what do you got coming up besides Cowboy Dick in Fuck This Christmas?

What is this air? Now-ish. Tomorrow. Great. I'm on The Talking Dead this Sunday. Neat. I directed a movie that's going to be in a festival near you at the beginning of next year called The Night is Young.

And yeah. And I'm in a... Oh, and I'm on a show on CBS. I'm on a sitcom called Mom. And one of the leads. You're on Every Up? I'm on... Oh yeah, I'm a series regular.

Not on Every Up, but... Who are you related to on there? I'm Christy. I'm Anna Faris's ex-husband. We have a kid together on the show. Oh, okay. I smoke a lot. And Kevin Pollack is her wayward dad, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's in...

He actually did my movie because I met him there. And so did Allison and a bunch of people. Oh, alright. I play a drug dealer on that show as well. Just a drug dealer on a show called Mom? Yeah. That's adorable. I'm going to be at Festival Supreme on October 25th in Los Angeles, right here in L.A.

Go to douglasmovies.com for all of my dates and deets and stuff. And real quick, Haley, offhand, do you think you could come back next week? I would love to, yeah. As our reigning champion, Haley Joel Osment, back next week. And as always, the people that canceled Freaks and Geeks are a shithead.

Those people. I don't know which one to choose from here. People who don't vote in the November 4th midterm election are a shithead I agree with that there's a lot of marijuana initiatives out there referendums and what have you oh and of course heroin is a shithead

laughter now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie guys of golden viewing crowd which makes it foggy there's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.