Doug Loves Movies - Matt Mira, Brad Williams, and Joe Parsons Guest

Episode Date: April 9, 2013

Doug welcomes comedians Matt Mira and Brad Williams and Master Pancake's Joe Parsons to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, skinny babies, sticky seeds With Mickey as a pot, more kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey, everybody. My name is Doug and blah, blah, blah. This is Doug Loves Blah Blah coming to you from the Blah Blah Theater

on Tuesday, April 9th, Two Oceans. Blah, blah. Since last I spoke and you listened, I haven't seen any movies, but I did catch up on the last few eps of Justified, which is currently one of my favorite movies disguised as a TV show. I enjoyed that.

Oh, let me get... Let me make a vine really fast, you guys. Can I see your name tags? Did you guys bring name tags? Listeners, hang on a second while I attempt to make this vine. Oh, come on, vine. Okay, here we go.

Yeah! Yeah! Oh, that's a nice vine. That's really... It ends on curtain. Like, two seconds of curtain. That didn't seem necessary. All right.

Hitting next. Done. It's going out to the world. Enjoy it, world. Phoenix in Seattle. Are you coming to see me on Saturday and Sunday Respectively The deets and links can be found At douglasmovies.com

From the corrections department A lot of shit going on You guys A lot of inaccuracies At Bobby Hawk H-A-W-K-E, and others, who will go unnamed, pointed out that Scarlett Johansson is in Iron Man 2, and Jeremy Renner is in Thor.

And so I wasn't clear that by the category some assembly required means that two or more of the actors were in an Avengers movie. But these are movies that aren't, you know, Marvel movies. And I wasn't clear enough about that. So thank God that's been that. That was close, you guys. That could have really gotten ugly. So I'm sorry about that.

you guys that could have really gotten ugly uh so i'm sorry about that and i've been told by people like at eric lindbergh e-r-i-c-k lindbergh uh that anton chigger is not a bounty hunter and uh i found a site that listed him not only as one of the top 10 bounty hunters in movies of all time he was number one uh yeah and i questioned it myself i was like that guy was a bounty hunter yeah fuck it who cares well you know who eric lindbergh cares that's who cares hashtag lindbergh hey great news for baseball jordan in the the front row. This Friday at midnight, CineFamily is hosting a 20th anniversary screening of The Sandlot. Yeah. I won't be there, but you can catch me and Graham Elwood earlier that evening at 8.15

at the Improv on Melrose Avenue right around the corner from CineFamily. So you can make a whole night of it, Jordan. Let's get the guests out here because I'm really excited that we are going to proceed, even though the Super Tournament of Championships hasn't

happened yet, we are now proceeding with the fourth regular tournament of championships with three of the people that have qualified to play. One of whom brought a bottle of Tito's handmade vodka

all the way from a local store. But it's made in Austin, Texas. And I brought some copies of the nice folks at Savage Henry Magazine sent me copies of their magazine. So I clued them in the prize bag.

We got a copy of Smug Life, of course. We've got... This was given to me by somebody. I'm not going to watch it. A movie called The Strawberry Statement. It's got people that seem to be in peril and then guys with guns and gas masks on.

And it says their dream was to go to college. So I think it's about a group of kids that protested something and got gassed. The strawberry statement. And then one of the guests brought, this is pretty awesome, a full-screen limited edition Star Wars Empire Strikes Back,

Star Wars Part 5, of course, and also a copy of Dave Matthews Band World Tour live at Wrigley Field. I think Dave Matthews Band World Tour live at Wrigley Field. I think Dave Matthews would be a good guest on this program. I think he'd fit in okay with the nuttiness. And then a hilarious T-shirt that we'll talk about in a second. So I think that's everything in the bag. Please, qualifiers for the fourth Tournament of Championships

Please welcome Joe Parsons, Matt Myra And Brad Williams Hey fellas Hey Doug Brad Williams everybody Let's go smallest to largest Smallest to largest Brad brought a t-shirt

That says R.I.P. Lindsay Lohan And then on the back it says Just kidding I'm only practicing. That was a tweet I put out about six months ago, and I got banned from Twitter for one day. Wow. Yeah, you got banned for one day.

Like, he's done more time than she has. It's not fair. It really isn't. Like, all her fans defended her, like, she's not fair it really isn't like all her fans defended her like she's not dead yet and it was just nuts because when you think of the things that people put on twitter

like the guy that passed around that photo of the basketball player with his shinbone sticking out of his leg that's okay but don't touch our Lindsay she's delightful I just like to think that Twitter is run by school principals and they suspend you for one day.

I was going to say Brad that commentary was really cutting edge. I liked it though. That was good. That's what I'm saying. That was Matt Myra that enjoyed the cutting edge commentary from Brad Williams and he brought That was Matt Myra that enjoyed the cutting edge commentary from

Brad Williams. And he brought Dave Matthews band and Star Wars. Sharing the love. Sharing it. Also, that's the way George Lucas intended it to be seen this week. That could change next week.

We don't know. It's full screen. Pan and scan. Enjoy it. Is it like Dark Side of the Moon where if you play Dave Matthews it syncs up with Empire Strikes Back? I'm not going to say it isn't. Let us know. Yeah, give it a chance.

See if that 37 minute version of Two Steps syncs up with the scene where Han gets frozen in carbonite. That's a sentence I just said. I'm just like, words, words, words, words. My turn. I'm back in it. Joe Parsons is also here, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you. Joe is visiting Los Angeles from Austin, Texas, where he is a member of the Master Pancake movie mocking tribe, troop. We're a tribe and a troop. Grouplet. How many tribes wear suit jackets?

I guess. I don't know. It's weird. He's dressed up for a fancy Los Angeles meeting. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. This is your show business outfit. I'm like a less homeless T.J. Miller. Less homeless. Less. And

what was I going to say about oh, you won in a round against two of the other guys from Master Pancake. Yeah. So you're saying that you don't deserve to be here. I don't think I said that, but you're probably right. No, I'm...

It was low-hanging fruit. Let's put it that way. They'd never played the game before, and one guy doesn't watch movies. But you hadn't played either, though, right? I played. Okay. Well, we play at home.

All right. We have the home version. Who's the best at the home? It's between me and another guy, so, you know, watch out, fellas. Wait. Another guy in your home? There's between me and another guy, so, you know, watch out, fellas. Wait, another guy in your home?

There's lots of guys in my home. What kind of... Well, it's me, TJ Miller. But he's... You mean with friends, you play it with friends?

Yeah. Okay. Yes. I thought you made the family play it in a very cruel way. Gather around, kids. It's the Leonard Maltin game.

I'm going to check Twitter for a category. Here it is. Tinny Fucker 97 says, Movies with Dave Matthews in them. They're all just Adam Sandler movies. Adam Sandler, yeah. I was about to say Adam Sandler. Jack and Jill Part 2.

How many more times have you seen Skyfall, Matt Myra? Zero since we interrupted it. Because we ruined it for me. Before interrupting it, you'd seen it nine times. Yep. And that was number ten. And now I've retired it. It's up in the rafters now?

Now I just watch Octopussy. Because that is a flawless title. Did you really switch to Octopussy? Was that in fun? Hang on. What did you switch to? What are you watching? I'm trying to think of what's in my PlayStation

in my bedroom right now. That's a cool sentence. Ladies? I'm pretty sure that's what you tell me. What am I masturbating to? Is it les miserables? All the guys at the White Lotus use that line when they open. It might be Thunderball, which is what I call masturbating.

Think about it. Gross. It's a faker. Very violent masturbating. Thunderball Come down on you All the force of thunder I haven't been watching movies lately Doug Because I found out all 264 episodes of Frasier

Are on Netflix I don't know why you're here right now Got my night planned out guys Season 5 episode 18 Yeah Ski Lodge Words words words I planned out, guys. Season 5, episode 18. Yeah! Ski Lodge. I don't know if that's correct.

Words, words, words, words. So Brad Williams, you... You tore it up at Kevin and Bean's April Foolishness on Saturday night. Yeah, that was fun. I couldn't believe how you managed

to top yourself because the year before you did a lap dance on the Weather Lady, Lisa May. Weather Lady, traffic reporter. Yeah, she does a traffic report there. And I got her pregnant. No, I did a lap dance on her. Don't steal Tracy Morgan's act.

No, I'm stealing Jay Moore doing Tracy Morgan's act. Exactly. You're pregnant. Yeah, but I did a fancy cartwheel onto Lisa May. If you've never seen a midget do a cartwheel, a fancy cartwheel. I do it with both pinkies up.

That's fancy. That sounds like an unexpected journey. So this year, you did a dance recital as your closer of It Was Too Legit to Quit mixed with Gangnam Style. Yeah, I did that. And that was amazing. Because I'm about the size of a small Korean.

I made a vine of it and put it on Twitter. You know, Twitter and on Vine, yeah. So if you want to see, there's no sound, so you just look like you're having an attack. Brad's having a seizure on stage. It's pretty amazing. And

I'm sure there's video of it out there because I don't think they had any rules in the audience about people filming the show. Yeah, one guy put my entire set from April Foolishness on YouTube. That's what's going to happen. That guy's so nice. I'm so thankful he did that.

That's why I did decoy jokes. I just did an act that I wrote that afternoon that wasn't funny at all. But when there's 6,000 people there, of course some of them are going to laugh. It's going to sound great. Also, thank you for getting me high afterward in your dressing room.

I do appreciate that. By getting you high, you mean that you walked in for a few seconds. Right. Left the room without smoking anything. Exactly. But the room was pretty smoky. Absolutely. So I apologize.

It really takes nothing on me. I'm four foot nothing. So like puff puff gone. That's me at that point. And that's a good tip if you're ever at a party with Danny DeVito and you feel he needs to be subdued.

That applies to Rhea Perlman as well. Two and a half puffs each. Five puffs to knock out the DeVitos. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game, you guys. That's what we're here to do. It's the tournament. Gentlemen, start your boners.

I mean, select your name tags from this dazzling array of items in the audience. There's more album covers than I'm used to. Alex Selsier. in the audience. There's more album covers than I'm used to. And Alex Selsier. It's a virtual movie studio. Oh, Matt got a very nice

large name tag. Brad got a fun one too. It's on you now, Joe. You better get a great name tag. Hey, that's about as far as you'd need to pass something in this room to be the farthest

possible. You'd be the worst hot dog salesman at this. At the ballpark. Alright. There's some confusion. Oh, and Joe brought the Tito's handmade vodka that is... Oh, no.

Scoot down, fellas. This is... Oh, no. The Papa book? Scoot down, fellas. Jesus Christ. This is a big-ass name tag. That's what she said. Can you even... What the fuck is this? What is this? Oh, my God.

We're on Mars. Wait a second. We're leaving the spaceship. I did this backwards. Now we're inside the spaceship. I got it. It's just water, assholes. There's water on Mars. What the fuck is wrong got it. It's just water, assholes. There's water on Mars.

It's a virtual movie studio. What is this for? And it says it's my birthday and it's Whose name is it? Is it for claymation? It's three different settings. Is there a name on it anywhere? No, it says roll more joints. Take 69.

You gotta have fun with both of those. You wouldn't want to put your name in there anywhere. Is it for puppets? I think it might be a stop motion situation, right? How often does this get you laid? Maybe you're supposed to draw a face on your dick and drop it in there. This probably

looks real good next to the Playstation in your bedroom. So what do we call you? What's your name? Robert. Great name tag, Robert. You really understood the concept of a name tag. Bring a weird item

from home. Don't change a thing about it. Robert. Okay. Robert. Brad, what do you got, buddy? I have a Darth Vader helmet that has a Target employee name tag

on it. And apparently this belongs to Loh Kim. Is that close enough? What's your name? How do you pronounce it? He-Wah-Kim? He wasn't close at all. That wasn't close. That wasn't the same language.

Hewakim. Tell me. Hewakim, right? Low Kim. That's an I. Yeah, but I'm going to go with him on his pronunciation. No, I think I'm right with this. I said an actual name.

He said the intro to the Survivor Like that's his fucking name That's awesome though bro The poor guy is such a defeat in his voice He's such a defeat in his voice He's just like yeah fuck it Just say it however you want It's only my name

It's only something that's used everyday No but say it one more time for me. E-O-A-K-E-M. E-O-A-K-E-M. E-O-A-K-E-M. All right. Boy, Pardo would be out of stuff to say to him. Is that the traditional spelling?

Half your name is Ewok, and it's on a Vader helmet. I like that. Yeah, that's right. Ewok. Okay, nerds. Good job, Brad. You rarely find someone picking a name tag that's actually bigger than them, and that's...

It's a life size. So I got a laser disc of Groundhog Day and a brownie glued to it. Oh, snap. Or blondie, I guess. And it says Grant Hog Day, because I'm assuming your name is Grant Hog?

That's his porn name. Why does it say 2XX on the brownie thingy? It's medical. Oh, shit. It comes with two kisses. There's like... There's like Zantac in it.

Every kiss begins with two kisses. So, yeah. So, that might be for me more than for you. Now who's the Grand Hog? You can keep the LaserDisc, and I'll take the blondies. All right. Unless they want them back. Sometimes people take their name tags

back at the end. That'd be an interesting ploy with food. Do you have a working laser disc player? Absolutely. He does. There's a gentleman in the audience who says he has a working laser disc. All right. Does it have two lasers? Will itglazed head. You don't? All right.

Does it have two lasers? Will it flip sides on its own? No. Yeah, that's right. Wow. Sorry I didn't come here in a time machine. All right. So that's your name tag.

You're playing for Grant. Playing for Grant Hogg. You better write that down. Grant Hogg. I'm assuming, by the way, off the top, that there's no shithead written on this either. Oh, no, no. He doesn't have a shithead on the back. Joe's has a shithead by the way, off the top, that there's no shithead written on this either. Oh, no, no. He doesn't have a shithead on the back.

Joe's has a shithead on the back, so we'll share that with everybody at the end if they lose. And same with Brad. His doesn't have one on there, but we'll get one from Wacky Wicky. Oh, my God. That's the best Wikipedia name ever Oh no Thank you Brad

You saved me by putting physical humor Putting the half a Darth on I kind of have half a Darth on right now This is awesome Wait is this like a semi boner What is a half Darth I got a half-Darth helmet. Don't worry about it.

EY Kim? Yeah. He really does accept. He accepts anything. Yeah, he accepts anything. Close enough. But congratulations on having such a fun name. And good luck.

Brad is playing for you. And I haven't devised a way to decide who we start off with. fun name. Good luck. Brad is playing for you. I haven't devised a way to decide who we start off with. Let's just start with Joe since he came all the way from out of town to join us this evening. Are there any Master

Pancake things coming up soon? Like this weekend? Yes, this weekend I believe we're doing the Bond movie Goldfinger. Goldfinger at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin. And then we will be partaking in Sketchfest in Austin at the Hideout Theater. And also the Cold Town Theater. Cool.

That's thrilling. I know for all of you that regularly go to Dead Silence. You're great at making up theater names. The Biscuit Wrapper. Theater. Theater. All right. Joe.

Yep. You're going to go first. You're going to get to pick a category. Okay. And it's from these three options. I'm going to dial up right here, right now. You're good at making up options. Well, you know, some are submitted

by people on Twitter. We get some awful good ones that way. So, let's start with at Captain Awesome suggested... No, I'm sorry. At KPT underscore awesome KFT.

It's got to be too many letters. Suggested not for Arquette-ophobes. And that's movies that have one of the acting dynasty, the Arquettes. David or Alexis or... Would a Courtney Cox Arquette apply? Courtney Cox. Yes. Good question. Courtney Cox Arquette would count, I guess.

Now that you mention it. Or would you like, at A Cushy, K-U-S-H-I-E, suggested Dangle Unchained. And this is the films that feature Tom Lennon. Lieutenant Dangle from Reno 9-11. That's good. Or, at Matthew Dump Truck suggested...

That son of a bitch. That's why I'm Matthew Dump Truck too. That sounds like a sexual maneuver gone wrong. He suggested two thumbs down. two. That sounds like a sexual maneuver gone wrong. He suggested two thumbs down and this is the Roger Ebert Memorial category. It's films that Roger gave

less than two stars. Oof. Yes. Which one of those would you like to play? Tough categories because this is a tournament we're playing here. Ebert's all over the map. I'm going to go with Dangle. tough categories because this is a tournament we're playing here uh doesn't make a difference all over the map

I'm gonna go with uh I'm gonna go with Dangle all right Dangle Unchained this is a the audience

back to your play you're welcome uh this is a movie that uh Mr. Maltin gave two and a half stars uh

the year is 2009 and about this film he says that uh he says that the gave two and a half stars. The year is 2009. And about this film, he says that the lead performer in it gives a nuanced, intriguing performance. And that's enough to make this uneven film enjoyable. Yeah. Wow.

And Tom Lennon is involved. uneven film enjoyable. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. And Tom Lennon is involved. And there are 11 names. I believe, yeah, 11 names. How many names do you think you can get it in, Joe Parsons of Master Pancake from Austin, Texas? Thank you. That is what it says on my business card.

I'm gonna go... This is a tournament. I'm gonna go strong four. Four names. Says four, Brad. Four. I can go... What do you do with that? I can go two names. Wow. I really don't know how I feel about you wearing that helmet.

It's helping me. But without the Darth face, it just seems German. It just seems like... I believe I can go with just the two names. German fucking dwarf. The German dwarf. We don't high step. It's probably the scariest of all the dwarves.

Absolutely. Wow. Well, mine, Brad, I'm going to say name the movie. Name it, name it. How many names does he get? Two, he's got two. Two names, wow. Really swinging for the fences.

Number 11 and 10. You're really going for it, you tiny German. Yeah. We are very ambitious people. you tiny German. Yeah. We are very ambitious people. If you don't know it after this,

say, I know nothing. Your two names are Margaret Cho and Nicole Sullivan. We're in this movie from 2009 that also features Tom Lennon. Two and a half stars from Mr. Malton. I'm going to go with Balls of Fury. That was an excellent guess. Tom Lennon is indeed in that.

Is it Hancock? What is it? But this movie also featured Leslie Mann, Matthew Perry, and Zach Everett. Ah, 17 again. So that means Matt is on the board with one point, playing for Robert. Good job. Exciting. Yeah, 17 again, which is much more enjoyable than it deserves to be.

Is that a compliment? I think so. Maybe it deserves to be. Is that a compliment? I think so. Maybe not deserves to be. Tom's very good. It says that on the box. Maybe then you'd expect it to be, I guess I should have said, but everybody says things like that all the time. I wanted to say something interesting.

I'd blow it. Okay, so Joe challenged Brad, who did not get it. So we're back. I mean, Matt did. So we're back to starting with Joe, but then we'll go to Matt next. Joe gets to pick from the following categories. Ebert, Every Time Around. Ten movies.

I've loaded up ten movies that he gave less than two stars. So I'd love it if you picked that. Not to nudge you in any specific direction. I'd love it if you picked that. Not to nudge you in any specific direction. I'd be so happy. But no, you get two other choices. At E underscore J underscore Howard

suggested Beverly Hills Flop. And that's Eddie Murphy movies that Leonard gave two stars or less. That's a broad category. Have you loaded up ten movies in that as well? Yeah. And celebrating a birthday today,

the films of Kristen Stewart. The films of Kristen Stewart. So that's a great category for a bunch of middle-aged men. You guys have the same birthday. Good job. Middle-aged men love Kristen Stewart and know all there is to know about her and her films. Which one of those would you like, Joe?

I'll tell you, the Eddie Murphy one is really tempting, but I feel like all the descriptions that Leonard gives it are all going to be the same. Like, oh, Murphy really falls flat on this performance. He's better works behind him. I enjoyed when he put on the fat suit. Still nothing. Gosh, let's...

You know what? Let's do that. Let's do Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy. Just ignoring Ebert. You're such a dick. Would you like an Eddie Murphy flop from 2007 or 2002? Boy, right?

Those were great years. Let's go 2007. All right. One and a half stars from Leonard. Seems about right. Works. Checks out. He says about this movie...

How do you spell that, Doug? Is it just a picture of a turd on it? this movie. How did he spell that, Doug? Just a picture of a turd on it? He says that the three main characters are in search of a script. And he says that Murphy shows his comedic range. And he lists a mere five names. Ooh.

Hmm. 2007. 2007. Mm-hmm. Well, I'm going to go negative one name. What? Negative one. That's smart.

Smart way to play considering the category. I understand how this works. You son of a bitch. Yeah, what can you possibly do with that? I'm going to say name it. I'm going to say name it. Yeah, you have to say name it.

Name the 2007. I can't go negative two. Yeah. Yeah, so you to say name it. Name the 2007. I can't go negative two. Yeah. Yeah, so you've got to name the movie and the lead performer in this movie. Yeah, God help me. All right, so I think it's Norbit. And?

And that would be Hedy Murphy in the lead role. Correct on both counts. Wow. Good for you. It's a move like that that would get you into the tournament of championships If you weren't in them right now But you're already here So there's no reason to get into it

Boy That was tough That was bullshit Joe seems really impressed with himself That was a hard one I just got It was a hard one I was not expecting to get correct answers. Well, congratulations. Thank you.

You fucking stiff in your suit. I don't know why I'm that guy. I don't know why I'm that guy. You are much more casually dressed than he is. Yeah, I'm all ready for casualties. Don't worry about it. So now we're going to start. Well played.

We're going to start with Brad and go to Matt. Okay. And Brad gets to pick between these categories. At Stubbs, 6'8". How ironic. Suggested. Dude, I didn't mean to rub it in. Really?

You had to go for your tallest fan ever? He suggested... At stomps on midget 42. He suggested cool in the gang, and that's movies where two or more people are freezing to death in the cold. And... to death in the cold. And of course the Roger Ebert category

in Loving Memory and In Theaters Now, which of course is movies that are in theaters now. Oh, I don't get the Kristen Stewart category. That one might come back up around later, but you are out of... Especially since you want it so bad. It is not an option.

Got a bone to pick with her. All right, let's go. Since you guys have passed over it, I feel like I need to honor the man's memory. Let's go with the Roger Ebert category. Yes. Yes. Nice choice.

Would you like, and you get a little extra bonus clue here because of picking this category. Would you like a movie that Roger Ebert gave two stars or less from 2005, 2007, or 2004? Let's go with 2007. All right. Leonard gives this movie one and a half stars from 2007.

He says that this is a really dumb premise. Let's not be vague about it. It can't be Norbit again, right? He says that it is even worse than it sounds. Was there a movie just titled Shit? And that the unrated version runs 101 minutes. Holy shit. Yeah, there's an unrated version. It's just become pretty commonplace, I think, these days.

But anyway, that's your clues. Live with it. Five names. Five? Five names. Let's snore a bit. I think I know the movie. 2007.

I'll go... One and a half stars. Then he was really mean to her. One and a half seems kind of generous. I can name that in three names. What? Name it. That's a smart opening bit.

Because he gets more than half of the names. Still. Okay. All right. It's on you, dude. Okay. I'm going to give you the names, and then you can ask for the clues again if these names don't help you. Still. Okay. All right. It's on you, dude. Okay. I'm going to give you the names,

and then you can ask for the clues again if these names don't help you. Yeah, the clues were very specific. Chaylin Simmons. Of course. Everyone's favorite. Classic. Troy Gentile. Oh, I love him.

He doesn't stop working. And Dan Fogler Oh this must have won Best Picture I like Dan Fogler I think I know I have a guess on the movie That's the idea of the game I think it's that Johnny Knoxville movie

You can't describe the movie You just have to say the name of the movie I think it's that Johnny Knoxville movie where he... You can't describe the movie. You just have to say the name of the movie. Well, I know that. I'm just trying to think of the name of the fucking movie. If you sit there and describe it like that, somebody in the audience will yell out because they'll get confused about what game we're playing.

Mr. Nidzibit? Might be somebody drunk out there. I tried to get it right. Nidzibit. Give me the clue again I'll tell you if you're Even on the right track No I think it's the

Johnny Knoxville special No that is incorrect Not fair 2007 crap Yeah that's not it But that also You don't deserve More clues like that

So I'm gonna go ahead And give the point to Matt Yeah absolutely Okay And the film The other The two stars Are Jessica Alba and Dane Cook. It's called Good Luck Chuck. Good Luck Chuck.

He's right about that. Yeah, Roger did not care for that movie one bit. Even the unrated version? How many minutes did the unrated version run? 101? Yeah, that's crazy. Alright, let me see if I have it. I wrote down some things

that Roger actually wrote about the movies. If I could find one for good luck Chuck, I will. I will share it with you. God damn it, why do I write so small? Oh, Roger Ebert's review of Good Luck Chuck, he gave it one star and he said,

there is a word for this movie and that word is ick. My favorite Roger Ebert movie review quote was when he reviewed Sin City and he said, to say that the acting is cardboard is an insult to the material that we find so useful. Oh, Roger. Okay, so what just happened? Matt got the point

because he challenged so we're going to start with Joe and then go to Matt. And Joe gets to pick between movies that Roger Ebert gave two stars or less or not for emetophobes.

That's movies that have copious amounts of vomiting in them. Or Salma and Louise. And that's movies that have Salma Hayek, Louise Guzman, or both. Holy shit, there is a lot of crossover there.

Salma and Louise. There is a lot of crossover. Which one? That's very clever. I'm going to do the vomiting one. Okay. Sorry. It's not real vomit.

It's been on the board for a long time, and nobody ever picks it, as you know. Jordan knows what's going on. Is there vomiting in the Sandlot, Jordan? Yeah, there's plenty of it. Yeah? I'm wearing a Hamilton the Ham t-shirt for no fucking real reason other than

I liked the fat kid when I was a fat kid. Well, Sandlot is not for metaphobes. Neither is the Jerry O'Connell fat kid movie, Stand By Me, has that horrible projectile vomiting scene. Well, that rules those two out. This movie is from 1987. Wait, it could be...

No, I'm just kidding. Three stars from Leonard. He calls this movie lively and colorful. Colorful. The vomit was colorful. You could see carrots. You could see... Not for metaphobes.

And it was buoyed by an infectious score, and it was loosely based on a novel. Those are your clues for this movie that's not for a metaphobes from 1987 and Leonard and his pals list eight names what do you say Joe and then Matt and then Brad I'll go eight names I'll go eight names. All right. You came a long way.

You should play it safe. I'll go seven. You also came a long way, probably on foot. Did you walk over tonight? No, I drove tonight. I'm looking at him. He hasn't done a lot of walking. It's all right. He's a tiny man.

That's why I asked him if he walked over, because that's what he's been doing lately, and he has lost a lot of weight, actually. But it's okay. He's going to man. That's why I asked him if he walked over, because that's what he's been doing lately, and he has lost a lot of weight, actually. But it's okay. He's going to keep going, though. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to stop. Yeah, yeah. If I wanted to stop, I would just be having a pizza right now.

I mean, between the two of you, Matt has more options, let's be honest. That's true. He can get thinner. He can make you take back your insult. Okay, so... Yeah, it's what, seven? Seven, he says. I can at least get the co-star in that.

Born in 84. I'm not going to know when they're in 87. You can watch movies after... You can? Can you go back? Yeah, yeah. They don't disintegrate! Don't you have to go to the High Library of Congress to see them?

I'm going to go six names. Name it. Okay. Here's your six names. Carol Strachan. Keith Joaquin. Richard Jenkins. Veronica Cartwright.

How many did you get? Six? Six. Wow. I still haven't recognized one of them yet. Veronica Cartwright. Michelle Pfeiffer. Ooh, with a P-H.

And Susan Sarandon. People in the audience know it. That's five. What? No, no, no. That's not five. Is that six? I'm listening to you, Robert,

because I'm playing for you. Six names. Carol Streikin, Keith Joaquin, Richard Jenkins, Veronica Cartwright, Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon.

I think Joe's going to have two points. I think he will be because I... Old Durham, I don't know. Oh, well, Susan Sarandon's in that. Yeah. But Cher is not. No, she isn't. And neither is Jack Nicholson.

Of course. It's called The Witches of Eastwick. Of course. And if you've never seen it, the vomiting in it is just horrifying. Awesome. And I meant awesome. I meant it's awesome and completely not for emetophobes. We've got a two-way tie for the lead, two and two between Joe and Matt.

Oh, man. Brad is going to have to have a massive comeback story. I think the helmet might not be good luck. Not at all. So since who challenged who there? I chose. No, who challenged?

Who challenged? Joe challenged. Yeah, so we'll start with Matt. Okay. And then go to Joe. Finally. Yes. Matt.

Yes, Doug. Would you like would you like... Would you like... 70 Meters suggested greatest movie ever bowled, and that's movies that have bowling in them. Okay. Kate Ralph, obviously. Or Put Me In, Coach.

Movies with John Fogerty? Let me say that better. No, let me say that better. Put Me In, coach. Movies with John Fogerty? Let me say that better. No, let me say that better. Put me in, coach. It's movies that have air travel in them. That's delightful. Or, I think it's gotten laughs before. Like, it's funny the second time.

We'll try it again next week. Yeah. Unless you pick it tonight or movies that Roger Ebert hated I'm gonna go with Put Me In Coach just cause it cracks me up alright

this movie that has air travel in it is from 2004 one and a half stars from Leonard. He says about this movie that it is vulgar. And he says how much you laughed is strictly a matter of personal taste. So it's not a bad review. Which he should try to put into any review of any comedy ever made. It's not a bad review. How much you laugh is your decision.

I'm here to tell you that you may or may not. Good luck. And he also says, at least it's short. Sorry, Brad. At least it was a compliment. These just come up randomly, I'm just saying. It's just going to happen. And he lists a ton of names.

We've got 8, 11, 16 names. Whoa, ensemble. 2004, you said? Yes, sir. Oh, I don't like the way you asked that I'm gonna go And say that I can do that in Eight names

Who next? Is it me next? Yeah it jumps to you Eight names Name it Okay go ahead Whoa Bring it on Doug

Brad Shut out Yeah There's no way Brad could win Name it Okay go ahead Whoa Bring it on Doug Brad Shut out Yeah There's no way Brad could win He's gonna do that Pouting bit that we've all seen You're supposed to put that first It's gonna go over the dark side

Is there Is it possible for us to power you down For the Oh my god That is He's going to go over the dark side. Is it possible for us to power you down? Oh my god, that is... For the listeners, he's got the full Darth Vader thing on. And it kind of fits. Like, that makes Darth Vader even scarier. You can see some of his tiny back of his head in the back?

I do have a big head. You would clean up at children's parties. Literally. Finally, at Darth Vader the children can beat up. They're always sending over a gigantic black man

and finally... Can you even hear me out the microphone? Yeah, you kind of sound like Darth Vader, actually. All right. Not so much with that take. All right.

I'm Darth Vader, y'all. Darth Vader, motherfucker. Watch me dance. Okay. What happened? 16 names? One and a half stars, I said. Highly claustrophobic.

Eight, and he said name it. And he said name it. Okay, here's your eight names. Snoop Dogg, John Witherspoon, Gary... Soul Plane, motherfucker! Soul Plane! Done.

Man, of course he'd be last billed. Can I just read the names? Yes, please. God damn it. We all know them. Monique, Kevin Hart. That's my favorite part. Did you see what happened

when they used the cell phone on the plane? That shit went down. And it happened in the movie, Doug. You saw it? I saw the trailer. And I was like,

I get it. Man. I got it. I know what this movie is going to be like. I've enjoyed it in my head already in a much shorter amount of time. Well got it. I know what this movie's going to be like. I've enjoyed it in my head already in a much shorter amount of time.

Well, congratulations. That means Matt Myra's moving on to the next level of the tournament. You are going to love that Dave Matthews CD, Robert. Don't laugh, Doug. Do we have some... So we needed a shithead for Brad, for the Darth Vader. Don't laugh, Doug. Do we have some... So we need a shithead for Brad. Yeah.

For the Darth Vader... I need a shithead over here. Darth Vader helmet. So if you could approach the table. Come on, write down the name. You've got to write down the name of a person we want to call a shithead. Yeah, who's a shithead? Oh, I'm sorry.

What am I doing? Here, just write it right here. I just want to know who you would have picked had you not won. Just anybody or anything that you want to call a shithead. Anything you want to get off your chest. Maybe people who gave you that name. I agree.

Okay, that's a good one. Well done. I don't understand this one, though. Does that make sense to you? Yeah. I think those are instructions so that I wouldn't do it without opening it. I thought avoid reading aloud was their shithead. That's a weird shithead.

Avoiding reading aloud is the shithead? Well, this is a good one, too. Okay. We have some good shitheads. Delightful. And I'm going to take this medicated thingy and Matt,

the person that you were playing for was Robert. Where'd Robert go? Come get your bag, Robert. Get your stuff, Robert. Come get your bag of stuff. What do you got to plug, Matt Myra?

Please tune in to The Nerdist on BBC America. Yeah, it airs at 10 o'clock after Doctor Who and Orphan Black. Enjoy. Please watch it. This week, when does this drop? Tomorrow, like right away. This week, Jon Hamm and Bretzi Brandt are on the program. It'll be a fun one.

It's interesting. He told me he was too busy to come out and do the Super Tournament. Well, we did it on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, that's when I offered to do it. He was probably booked on the Nerdist. I was like, 420, dude. Brad Williams,

what do you got going on, dude? Follow me on Twitter at FunnyBrad, and please listen to my podcast called About Last Night. We don't have Jon Hamm on it. No, but you do talk about your... Your ham. Your ham. We do. And it's called About Last Night because you get into some...

You have a lot of good stories, don't you? Yeah. When a midget goes out to a town, people want to do fun things with me. Is this in addition to throw? Yes. I mean, that's always top on the list. You know, toss, whatever. How many times have you feared for your own life, though,

when you went out with people? This week. And Joe Parsons, going back to, you mentioned earlier, we got some Master Pancake shows go see Goldfinger in Austin I'm gonna go

yeah I think that'd be a fun movie to talk during it's a pretty damn good one but yeah check out

Master Pancake Theater at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin Texas and also Stag Comedy at stagcomedy.com thank you for coming out let's hear it one more time

from Matt Myra, Brad Williams, Joe Parsons of Master of Pancake. I'm going to be doing stand-up right here at UCB Theater this Thursday night at 9.30. It's only five bucks. You'll get to watch me warm up for my 420 album taping at Cobb's in San Francisco. Hang on for a second, guys. I'm going to get a picture of everybody. Maybe you should put the thing back on, Brad. And as always, pot prohibition

is a shithead, and German dwarf is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies