Doug Loves Movies - Matt Mira, Joe Pettis, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: May 27, 2013

Live from Zanies Comedy Club in Nashville, Doug welcomes Matt Mira, Joe Pettis, and Graham Elwood to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Hey! Hey, everybody! Oh, my name is Doug, and I love movies.

This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from Zany's Comedy Club for the second annual Memorial Day in Nashville show. We did it again of course this year I'm hoping that the entire show gets recorded there was a mystery chunk last year let me see your name tags you guys we got our friend Steven from yesterday with the monkey back up front why would you think you get picked bringing back that same monkey we'll find out the other two guests weren't here maybe they won't know a born in the USA Bruce Springsteve album okay it's this isn't double Doug loves music but

close enough fruity pebbles from yesterday are here and they're still absolutely gluten-free dusk till from dusk till sean that's a good one why does it say anus start on your on your license plate justin oh it's a rusted development riff okay no spoilers jurassic mark is back again today uh lots of good name tags, and I appreciate you guys bringing them, and good luck getting picked today. From the corrections department, it's Premium Rush, not Maximum Rush. And it's, I don't give a fuck, not, I don't give a shit. No, no.

And in the last Build-A-Title, someone could have said, Jack Reacher from the Black Lagoon. Jack Reacher from the Black Lagoon. Jack Reacher from the Black Lagoon. Yeah, that's pretty clever. I just joined a summer movie league. It's like fantasy football for people that are even bigger nerds. And I had to pick around ten movies. They each have a certain amount of money that they

cost you. You can spend up to $100 million. It's a complicated process, so you probably won't understand my picks, but I just wanted to say that I'm hoping these movies make money this summer. I'm pretty sure Monsters University is going to be huge. World War Z is going

to be huge. The Heat is going to be big. Kevin Hart, let me explain, I think is going to be huge. World War Z is going to be huge. The Heat is going to be big. Kevin Hart, let me explain, I think is going to be big in a, you know, underground sort of way. Lone Ranger, of course. Fruitville Station's kind of a weird pick, but it's a drama that I heard is very good with the kid from Friday Night Lights and The Wire and Chronicle. What's his name? Jordan? What? Michael Jordan? The Smurfs 2, that's going to make a lot of money. It's going to be a piece of shit, but it's going to make...

It's going to be a big blue piece of shit, but it is going to make money. And another independent film I'm rooting for called The Spectacular Now. And then, of of course I had to pick Morgan Spurlock's One Direction this is us yes Spurlock is making a document a concert film about a boy band so I don't know how I'm gonna parody that Oh speaking of summer I've got shows in June In Toronto, Bloomington, Indiana Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, Philadelphia New Orleans Oklahoma City and New York City

I'm exhausted already Go to douglosmovies.com For dates and dinks Dinks? Oh, that's going to be my new word for deets and links Dinks, go for dates and dinks, you guys. Lots of great stuff in the prize bag. We've got some seeds that you can use to grow dole products, apparently.

We've got a packet of Twizzlers, the movie treat for certain parts of the country where red vines aren't available. We've got a T-shirt. We'll talk more about that in a second. I brought a bottle of Hint, lime-flavored Hint. I don't really care for it, but I got a lot of free bottles. So you might like it. Somebody gave me a Legalize It T-shirt, and you know what I mean by it.

That'd be weird. It says Legalize It and it's just like a picture of Tony Danza or something. And then somebody gave me a hat and I believe this was in Knoxville that says Dale's Fried Pies on it. It's a nice hat. Yeah, you like Dale's Fried Pies?

And of course a copy of Smug Life and very soon I'll start to give away a copy of my latest album, which will be dropping shortly called Gateway Doug. But now,

please welcome to the stage Graham Elwood, Joe Pettis, and Matt Myra. Hey, fellas. What's up, Doug? Hello. Oh, no. He's here with the crazy accents again.

All from Chornoy. That's Graham Elwood, everybody. Back for another Doug Loves Movies here at Zany's in Nashville. And go ahead and do your plugs right now, Graham. Let's get it over with. Well, I will throw a copy of the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies into the prize bag. So whoever wins will be outside after the show. Yeah, and you put this in the prize bag.

Describe this. Oh, that's a download card for my feature documentary, Laughganistan. So you'll get that, and I'll autograph that for you. Yeah, and you know what? Yeah, he'll autograph it for you. And you know what else will make it special? I just touched it to my dick. It's a dick download card, guys. So it is delightful

Yeah you can see Myself and Chris Mancini doing Comedy Film Nerds at the Limestone Festival In Bloomington, Indiana June 6th Road trip Nashville Take it north And then I will be headlining

This little club in Louisville June 9th with Chris Mancini as well The Bard so that's all available at GrahamElwood.com. Boom! That's another fun road trip from here, right? Yeah. Louisville? Sure. Okay. Sure. Sure it is. That sounds fun.

And Joe Pettis is here, everybody, and he brought the t-shirt that I didn't say what it says on it because I don't know if that would give away that he was here, but it says Beer and Comedy Night on it.

This is a medium and it also says that it's gluten-free. Gluten-free t-shirt. What is Beer and Comedy Night? I don't think my mic's on. Good call in the booth. He's not a very interesting guest, so don't really need to turn on his

microphone. Beer and comedy night. Oh, there it is. I gave him mine. Wait, but yours is working. Yeah, now it's working. He just now turned it on. Wait, wait. I don't know if mine's working. Wait, wait. Hold on.

Is this working? Sadly, it is. Is it working? Okay, Joe, I don't know if mine's working Wait, wait, hold on, is this working? Sadly it is Okay, Joe, what were you saying? Beer and Comedy, it's a bi-weekly show That I host at the Sweetwater Brewery in Atlanta So another fun road trip If you make it to Atlanta, you get lots of beers It's a show for bi people that you do weekly? Yeah, for bi people, yeah

It's for only bi people We have a lot of those in Atlanta So specifically for them. It's every other Monday at the Sweetwater Brewery. And if you're bi-curious, is that where you just go there and check it out? Yeah, check it out. Why not? All right, cool.

And Matt Myra is here, you guys. And he... Thank you. He actually brought the aforementioned seeds. Yeah. To grow your own Dole products. But here's the great part, is that they are signed by Matt Myra and Chris Hardwick and Jonah Ray, the three dudes from Nerdist Podcast.

Yep. Those came from the land in Epcot Center. You're welcome. Just got back from Disney World, and here I am. What did you do at Disney World? What didn't I do, Doug? I did everything.

I rode Everest and Big Thunder Mountain and Space Mountain and the whole mountain range. They got a lot of mountains there. That Everest ride at, what's it called, the Animal Kingdom? Animal Kingdom, yeah.

Animal Kingdom, by the way, the attraction at Disney World is not based on the feature film Animal Kingdom. Remember that one, Graham? Yeah, that would be awesome if it was a ride based on a fucking Australian mob family.

They're just like, hello, put one in his bean. I know that's an English accent, folks, but I can only do one accent. Barely. So, yeah, so that Everest ride is fun. Yeah, it's a good coaster. They got a giant animatronic Yeti at the end. So, worth the trip, guys. It's a good coaster. They got a giant animatronic Yeti at the end. So, worth the trip, guys.

It's worth the trip. Is it waving and holding a sign? Are we Yeti there? Wait, are we there? Jesus! Fucking butchered his own joke. I love it. Is it holding a sign saying, Yeti, we are Yeti there.

Starring Ice Cube. If any of you guys get thirsty for a little hint water. Oh. Yeah, it's lime flavored with a hint of water. I have a whole bunch of them in the trunk of my car. I'm not a big fan of hint water. You're not?

No, because it just tastes like what's left of your drink when only ice is in it. It does. It tastes like my vodka soda when I finished it. So here's what I think. I think their factory, they just collect ice from restaurants. And they're like, what was in this? Lime, Sprite, I don't know. Okay, Hint of Lime. like what was in this lime sprite i don't know okay hint of lime they gave me a bunch of them

just you know to plug them and then and then we say that about it so that's but you know that's sometimes the best part of your drink you know after the ice melts you're like hey it's more drink it's delicious that's what it should say on the bottle. Hint water. It's more drink. It's more drink. That's the slogan. Hint water. It's a happy ending. Yeah.

Pick up your hint water today. I'll let you know when this drink starts to taste like hint water. But it's like when you were a kid and like you'd see a cooler and you'd think, oh, it's delicious like Kool-Aid. And then it was Gatorade. And it was like, fuck, there's not enough flavor in there. You mean it's like when you were a kid and you saw The Cooler starring Alec Baldwin and William H. Macy? And I was like, I can't believe that drunk driver came out of nowhere. Nice pull, nice pull. Real nice. Very specific reference.

Thank you. Now, Joe, the last time you joined us, we were doing a show at the Laughing Skull there in Atlanta. And I want to know, have you been in any movies since we saw you then? Did you ask if I've been in movies

or I've seen movies? Have you been in any? Been in any? No, I've not been in any. I saw Olympus Has Fallen. That was the last movie I saw. What? Oh, you saw White House Down Part 1?

Exactly, yeah. Except they have a white president. That's what made it unbelievable. I didn't get it. But more unbelievable, they had a black Speaker of the House. That was way more unbelievable. And now everyone thinks I'm racist. You're among friends.

How? I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that. Wait, what? Did you just say we're all like white supremacists? No, you just took it to a whole other level. White power, everybody. That's what we're here for. You took it past hint to Sprite. But how was it?

I wanted to see Olympus has fallen, and no one would see it with me. How was it? It was all right. Gerard Butler was the guy who saved the day. I'm on board. Yeah, but he's like a Secret Service agent, but he's Australian. I can't get over that fact. Yeah, sure.

Well, that's like every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. Exactly, yeah. But it was okay. I think the Jamie Foxx one's going to be a lot better. Oh, I don't know. I saw the trailer for that last night. Wait, Arnold Schwarzenegger was Australian in every one of his movies? Yes.

Oh, no. I missed the L. It's Austrian. Put the shrimps on the barbie. That's not a knife. That's a knife. Get to the chopper, mate. A dingo ate my baby.

Get down. A dingo ate my baby. Matt, you have a lot of big names on the Nerdist podcast. I'll be out back. You're welcome. Okay. Always squeezing one more in. That's the Matt Myrus time.

Lots of big names on the Nerdist podcast. You can download that today. Today, the Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg episode dropped. Oh, that's fun. That's a good one. Listen to that. But who, I was going to ask, I don't want you to sound like you're insulting those guys, but I was going to say,

who's your favorite movie star that we've had on the podcast? That you've had on the podcast? Like who? I mean, I'm not going to offend anybody. Who gave you their home? They're not home, but they're, you know, their pocket phone number. Who gave you their personal cell phone number?

Well, I got his email address. That's pretty good. His name is Tom Hanks, everybody. Nice. He gave you his email address. That's pretty good. His name is Tom Hanks, everybody. Nice. He gave you his email address? And it is? It is a great email address. Is it just TomHanks at Gmail.com?

Dude, shut up. It's catchmeifyoucan at Gmail. It's Hanksy. He's the street artist. me if you can at gmail. Hanksie. He's the street artist. That would be fucking awesome if that was what Tom Hanks did in his spare time. They'll never know it's me. They'll never suspect it's me. I'm America's sweetheart.

They'll never suspect me. Yeah. No. Yeah. Tom Hanks. He's a delight. He's everything you want him to be and not more. Which is good.

He's really into wars and space. Yeah, I'm into one of those things. Which one? Space. Good answer. But if you add wars to space... He just likes stories about wars.

Yeah, he's an interesting guy. He knows all about NASA. He was in that movie where he played that astronaut. Jim Lovell from Apollo 13. How messed up does his next movie look? Oh, man. That's fucking Paul Greengrass. And it's based on that actual event.

Of that cargo ship that got hijacked and the Navy SEALs took out the pirates. Yeah, it looks like it's so messed up that someone could be in Asian makeup and we wouldn't say anything about it. Unlike Cloud Atlas where that's all anybody said about it. Alright, moving on.

Thank you for your answer, Matt. You're welcome, Doug. We already know that Joe saw Olympus Has Fallen and then gave up on movies altogether. you for your answer matt you're welcome doug uh we already know what that uh joe uh saw olympus has fallen and then gave up on movies all together yes but um have you seen the movie you would give up on it too if you had no that's the thing is i did see a few minutes of it and i was i was like oh this isn't this i don't care i don't care what happens but um last night, Matt and Graham went on a date with each other here in Nashville. We did some research.

And they saw the number one movie in the country right now by a large stretch. Yeah. It's a huge hit. Who's going to weigh in first? What did you guys think of? Fast and Furious 6. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even Ha? Fast and Furious 6. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not even the Fast and the Furious anymore. It's just Fast and Furious. It's, uh... What a hunk of awesome shit. It is... It is the Dollywood of movies. Unbelievable how ridiculously dumb fun it is and I don't know what was

more fun for us was the shit that was going on in the movie or the people in the theater laughing legitimately at lines that were being said not ironically but like oh that fucking Vin Diesel and Tyrese man they're fucking awesome everything Tyrese said

was like it was Chris Rock's Bring the Pain. It was unbelievable. The funniest fucking thing they had ever heard in their lives. And that movie is full of false wisdom. The whole movie is broken down into nuggets of shitty bumper stickers. Yeah. That when you think about it. You're not living unless you're almost dead.

Ride or die, Ride or die. Ride or die. What was the wolf one? Oh, well, obviously, Graham, to catch a wolf, you got to become a wolf. No, you don't. That makes no sense. No, no. You can use a trick.

No, no. A hunter's do that? Men are better at catching wolves than other wolves. Oh, my God. Wolves don't hunt each other. What the fuck are you talking about? Did you see the gray? Oh my god.

To hunt a wolf, you gotta tape fucking small Jack Daniels bottles on your knuckles and fight them in a fire pit. And you have to say, I'm gonna need the wolf to get under the bed. Here's the thing. I like

it was like everything Vin Diesel said was like you would hear on a white noise sleep machine. His tone of voice never changed. He has the easiest acting gig in the planet ever. Just like, okay, Vin Diesel, here you are excited. We're going to get a truck and drive. Okay, now it's here you romancing a girl. We're going to drive.

Every scene. He's getting a girl. Every scene. He's getting chased. Crazy car chase. Like everything. He's the Keanu Reeves of this generation. And it's got the most bullshit fucking chunk of bullshit I've ever heard in my life, which is his saying, apparently, which I learned from the first movie, which is the only one I saw besides this.

Show me how you drive, and I'll tell you who you are. Who the fuck does that mean? He's either going to say you're a good driver or you're a shitty driver. So people fall into two categories. They either love the Beatles and they're a shitty driver, or they're a good driver and they like the Stones.

I mean, that's all there is to it. If you leave your blinker on, that's when I know you were going to cheat on me. What? Every third line out of that fucking guy's mouth is something about how important family is. They really stick together while killing innocent bystanders trying to reach their goals.

Bystanders are bystanders, but family's family. Yeah, just that. Probably in the movie. That's probably in one of the movies. You can use it, Justin Lin, if you're listening. You can use it.

And The Rock is the biggest he's ever been. Oh my God. He's fucking gigantic. The Rock looks like he ate Hulk Hogan in his prime. And we checked, we googled it after the movie. He's 41.

He's put on so much muscle. If I worked out and all of this turned into muscle, he'd still be bigger than me. Oh, ever. Yeah. He would still be bigger than me. He was in scenes and you're like, holy shit, I'm sure there's stuff we're supposed to be seeing

behind him. It was ridiculous. Where the fuck is Jordana Brewster? We haven't seen her once. There's her pregnant stomach jutting out behind the rock. I haven't heard anything about how important family is because his chest is muffling it.

And he's wearing, and there's a scene, all he wears is the same tight Under Armour t-shirt the whole time. Like, oh, Under Armour has a deal with the WWE. No, it's like when he packed, all that he brought was one bulletproof vest and 70 Under Armour shirts. It's like, I'm going to solve a crime.

There's a scene in there where he's got 70 Under Armour shirts. I'm going to solve a crime. There's a scene in there where he's got the Under Armour vest and I'm like, he literally just walked across the whatever universal lot from G.I. Joe. It's the same goddamn outfit. It is. Oh my god. He just went, alright, hold on. G.I. Joe cut and then he just walked in.

It's distracting to the point of you're like, this guy cannot stand comfortably. His arms won't go down ever again. It's ridiculous. The whole time. The whole time. And they somehow found a white German guy who's bigger than him to fight him.

I don't know where they found this guy. On a goddamn Viking spaceship. No, he's like,. They found the one successful Nazi experiment and were like, get in this movie. Get in this movie. Joe, Joe, Joe, enough already. Shut up, Joe.

Oh my God. But I will say this. The ending of this movie. The ending of this movie. I don't want to spoil it. People in the audience agree. Give it away. I said this to Graham when we saw it. It is the equivalent of when I was a kid. It would be the equivalent of me going to a movie and at the end of Rocky, the Terminator

walks up. And then credits like, oh shit, Rocky 7 is going to have fucking Terminator fight Rocky. So great. I don't want to ruin it for everyone, but it's the other guy that drives in movies.

Maybe he transports things. I don't want to spoil anything. We got to show how they, how The Rock and Vin Diesel do their final mutual respect goodbye. Okay, first of all, let me just say

Oh my God, they're on their feet. It's unbelievable. I've thought of seven jokes I wanted to say in the last ten minutes. I can't get into anything. Justin Lin, I think he's a very good director. The action scenes are perfect. There's one scene we had a problem with the frame. Hey Joe, you want to go grab a bite?

Maybe smoke a few holes outside the parking lot? We got to do this for every angle. Okay, you'll be Vin Diesel. I'll be The Rock. No, you're taller. You'll be The Rock. I'll be Vin Diesel.

Okay, here's how it should have ended. Face to face. Hey, man. No, nice. Mutual respect. Family, bro. Family. That's how it should go.

Okay, how'd they really do it? Here's how they really did it. Family, bro. Bro, it's family family is what it's all about you know i just like you know family and steroids after all that shit went down in brazil family i show you how i drive the other angle then the other angle then you see the rocks angle that's this one yeah family, yeah. And then The Rock's head is so fucking big that it really, you can't see anything else.

It looks like an eclipse. Yeah, it is. He's eclipsing. It's just like, yeah, family, family, family, family, family. We all know Vin Diesel's what? 5'9", 5'10", with shoes on. So, yep, thank you. Rock is 6'4", 900 pounds.

Yeah, yes, yes. Doug, you should see it. That's all. I tell you what. I want to make a step up and the Fast and Furious should fucking combine. I want step up Furious and I want them to be like, you got it. Because they bring down a giant military plane with cars and I want them to be like, get on the wings and bring down the bad guys, and have them just be like fucking dancing on the wings of a plane at 30,000 feet,

and then it crashes. That's the other thing, too. The climax of the movie happens on a runway. That's 40 miles long. With a plane going at speed to take off, and the climax is 40 fucking minutes long. It's the world's longest runway. At the end of the runway.

It's like the runway is the entire length of Russia. They just found a runway, and we're like, let's just do it. And then they fucking complain about not being able to take off. We took on too much weight. One car. This is a plane that carries tanks to Afghanistan. Cargo plane. Can't handle a fucking souped

up Miata or whatever the fuck they got. Mind you, a much smaller plane flies with the space shuttle on it no problem. This giant plane couldn't take the Mazda Miata. And as soon as it lost the Fiat, it was ready to go. Those Fiats, they always put you over the edge, the Fiat.

God damn that movie. Wait, but you did say it was fun, though. Oh, it's awesome. It was great. It's fun to hate it that much. Everyone should see it. You got to see it in a crowded theater because you got to listen to regular people going, ah, this is awesome.

And they have throw out little Easter eggs. And there's people in there who are like, oh, they've seen every one and they're like, oh, that's from, and I'm like,

come on, this isn't. That's a reference from that other dumb movie where nothing happened. Mind you, there's a part in the middle of the movie where Paul Walker

goes on his own little adventure that you think is integral to the plot until he gets back. And they're all like, don't worry about you just did. That was for you. It turns into let's go to prison for a while. He tries to get information.

Yeah, with more laughs. Guys, no, I'm just saying that movie's shitty here. It literally just, they just jammed in an episode of Locked Up Abroad For no goddamn reason I hope you guys have podcasts where you can really talk about this Because I don't feel like I've given you enough breathing room Well if you heard the Nerdist I don't

Let me ask you guys this Don't answer I'm just hoping That at the end of the movie Let me ask you guys this. Don't answer. I'm just hoping that at the end of the movie somebody says, all good drivers go to seven. Roll credits. You guys want to play some games?

Should we play some games? It was a lively discussion, though, and thanks again to Joe for really... It's really intimidating to sit between these two guys right here. It's all right. Especially when you guys got up and did that whole bro thing. I was scared. Joe, don't worry about it.

You're family. What family is. I felt like I was the guy behind the rock. I couldn't be seen anymore. You could have been in the movie. I know. You could have been in the movie behind the rock. Why didn't you just say when I said, have you done any movies? Yeah, I'm in Fast and Furious 6.

I'm behind the rock. I was almost in the fifth one, actually, because they filmed it in Atlanta. What? But I didn't show up because it was like a 5 a.m. call, so I didn't show up. You stupid asshole. I really regret it. Whatever time you need me, Justin, I will be in Fast 6, 7. I'm sure Justin, the director, appreciates everything you've said.

He's going to take all your notes and put them into the next one. Well, in fairness to him, I don't think he wrote the script. He doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks, because these movies print fucking money. Yeah, $120 million. Yeah, he's got a pile of money the size of The Rock. And he stands next to it and goes, yeah, yeah, family, family, totally family, but doesn't look it in the eye because he'd want to fuck it.

Oh. What? Alright, let's... Let's see your name tags, Nashville. Oh, shit. Zany's in Nashville, I should say. All of Nashville's not here. Oh my God. There's an amazing rendition of my face wearing

a shirt and a tie. That doesn't happen very often. That's like from Men in Black where the guy's head shrinks. That's all the way up in the balcony. So gentlemen go pick your name tags and while you do that I'll say this. We'll be right back. And we're back.

What kind of name tag do you have over there, Graham? Who are you playing for? Well, I'm playing for Jurassic Mark. Mark has a dinosaur pinata and he called it Jurassic Mark and he said that inside are treats of some kind so we can smash this fucking thing open and eat some shit.

Yeah. Nice. Yeah. We're gonna fast andious this goddamn name tag. We don't have a bat. What are you going to use, your microphone? Yeah, we'll use this. I don't know. I think I could find something that could break through cardboard and paper. The rock's eyelid.

Maybe. So what are you saying, Graham? Do you want to do it right now, or do you want to do it when you lose? Make it organic. It'll be my victory smash. I will palm strike this thing for victory. That's right, Hashville. I'm claiming victory now.

And if I lose, I will stand and say, yeah, bro, family first to Matt Myra's shoulder. Don't get cocky. Which is a classic line from Deep Throat. You check ass. Joe, who are you playing for? Take your hat off and read it.

I'm playing for Megan or Pete Holmes. One or the other. Well, try it again. Yeah. Just say... Okay, don't say the second name. Okay, just Megan. Don't say that name.

Megan. Say the first name. Joe just stepped in the shithead trap. Trust me. A lot of guests accidentally read the shithead ahead of time, but it'll be still satisfying later in the show when I say Pete accidentally read the shithead ahead of time, but it'll be still satisfying later in the show when I say Pete Holmes is a shithead.

There's never a wrong time to say that. Who are you playing for, Joe? Megan. Yeah. Sweet revenge. Nicely done. And Matt, of course, had to pick the fast and furious name tag. I am playing for Tara,

who for some reason decided, I'm going to make the best sign in here and put six cars on it because it's Fast and Furious 6! Yes! My listeners know how to count.

And glue things to a piece of paper. I can't wait to see Fast 7 transported. Oh, God. I can't believe you. That's a pretty good surprise. No, shit. Oh, don't worry about it.

Oh, God. Should we bleep it when you said who it was? Sure. That's up to the audience. Well, they already heard it. They don't fucking care. It made $120 million. I know.

Everyone who wants to see it should have seen it already. It's my feeling. But people don't want you to spoil shit. Like, I'll say something about The Wire, and they'll go, Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, haven't watched it yet. Well, fuck them. Right? Well, that's what I'm trying washed it yet. Well, you know, it's crazy. Fuck them. Right? Well, that's what I'm trying to do.

That's why I'm talking to them at all. Yeah. I'm trying to make love to them. I don't know. So spoilers spoil the lovemaking process. Make them part of your family. Them when they're family. Family first.

Yeah. Family's like a wolf. You got to be one to be in one. What? What does that mean? Also, by the way. What does that one. What? What does that mean? Also, by the way. What does that mean? What the fuck does that mean?

I expected to see that fucking kid from Twilight just run in the background and turn into a wolf. And I was like, I can catch him. Do they talk when they're in wolf form? I don't know. Do they? Wolves don't hunt each other. No, does anyone see Twilight?

All right, you're all my people. I haven't seen it either. Yes? They don't talk when they're wolf form? Why not? They growl. Can they understand each other with the wolf growling? They give each other looks.

They give each other looks. Oh, they speak with their eyes. I'm sure in the book they communicate, sort of. Yeah. Yeah, telepathically. Wait, so they're telepathic werewolves? Yeah. What?

That's scary. I may need to give this a chance. So then is this how the wolves... Matt, stand here. Is this how the wolves talk to each other? Is this how the wolves talk to each other? I'm like a wolf. There you go. I'm a wolf.

I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf. I'm a wolf.

Is the wolf bark? Is the wolf bark? Is that like that? Can they bark? More fun for the listeners. More physical fun. That's just for you guys. You get that special.

The live audience gets a special treat, everybody. Let's play ABCD's Nuts. We'll start over there with Graham, then we'll go to Joe, and then we'll go to Matt. The idea is I'll name a letter from a phrase that we're going to spell, and then you have to name any movie that begins with that same letter. If you match me, you win automatically.

If you can't name any movie that begins with that letter within a few seconds, then you're out. We start with Graham, and we are spelling Hangover 3. Yeah. As a tribute to that motion picture that opened this weekend that none of us have seen yet. And

we start with you, Graham, with the letter H. High Plains Drifter. Oh my god. That is a fantastic guess, because I picked another Clint Eastwood movie called Honky Tonk Man. Oh.

Yeah, because it was filmed in Nashville. That's right. Yeah. Woo. So is the television program Nashville.

Yeah, that's, that's not going to come up again. I watch it. I watch it. Joe, Joe, your letter is A. Anaconda. That's a going to come up again. I watch it. Joe, your letter is A. Anaconda. That's a good one, and you got the first three letters right,

because I picked An American Haunting, which is set in Tennessee. Oh. Yeah. Okay, now we're up to Matt, and the letter is N. Night shift? That does begin with the letter N, but boy, are you dumb, because I picked Nashville. Because it was filmed in Nashville. That's because Matt's not a wolf.

To catch a wolf, you gotta be a wolf. That's because Matt's not a wolf. To catch a wolf, you gotta be a wolf. To get trivia right, you gotta not say the answer before they ask the question. That's why family's first. What? You were a precog with that Nashville reference.

Now we're back to gram letter G. Going south. Oh, that's a good one. I picked good burger because I'm hungry. Joe. Oh. The last movie I saw, Olympus Has Fallen. Oh, nicely done. Tied together beautifully.

I went with One for the Money because it was filmed in Pittsburgh where I'll be at the improv on August 3rd and 4th. V for Matt. Van Helsing. That was also filmed in Nashville, by the way. It's a true story. Yeah, they have a great green screen here. I picked Vegas Vacation

because I hope to go there this summer. Hope to have one. E for Graham. Everybody's All-American. Also a terrific E selection. hope to have one E for Graham everybody's all American also a terrific E selection I went with Ernest Goes to Jail because it was filmed here in Nashville R

Robocop nice Redemption Road set set in Tennessee. That's the end. No. Three. Three. Do you guys want to do the number three or spell three?

Spell it. Spell it. The number three. If we spell it, it'll drag this out longer. Who's next? Who's up? That'd be me. Do you want the number three or the letter

T? You get to decide. A gentleman just said there's a U in it. So I don't know. I have no idea what that means. Wow. If you want to spell three, you better have a U. I'm going to go

you can choose because I'm going to say three men and a U. I'm going to go... You know, you can choose, because I'm going to say three men and a baby. I went with three ninjas, but let's spell out three. Start with the T. Three men and a little... Three ninjas, I'm sorry. I meant three ninjas.

I went with the Green Mile, because it was filmed in Nashville. Damn it. H, Graham. Highway to Hell. High Fidelity was filmed in Nashville. Damn it. H, Graham. Highway to Hell. High Fidelity filmed in Minneapolis where I'll be on July 12th.

R. High Fidelity was filmed in Chicago. High Fidelity was not filmed in Minneapolis. Close enough. Your plugs are getting shittier and shittier.

Wikipedia doesn't lie. Wikipedia does not lie. Wikipedia does not lie. High Fidelity was filmed They could have filmed parts of it there. Okay. R. Robocop 2.

Nice. You are my hero. Joe Pettis, everybody. I went with Rear Window Classic. That's a good one. Okay, E. Matt? I'm going to go with

E. Eldorado. What's that to go with... E. El Dorado. What's that? I don't know. El... All right, you're out. El Mariachi. Yeah.

El Mariachi. That's a great second guess. Thank you for playing. El Dorado's got to be a movie. Someone look that up. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is, but you have to know what it is. Yeah you for pointing it out. El Dorado's got to be a movie. Someone look that up. I'm sure it is. It has to be a movie. I'm sure it is, but you have to know what it is.

Yeah, it's a movie, Doug. You have to know what's up. I know it's a movie. Don't shake your head at me. It's a movie, young lady. What? Ooh-wee. What up with that?

What up with that? E, Graham. Elvis, The Way It Is Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't say I went with Ernest Saves Christmas for the last E Santa's in the slammer And what'd you say, Graham? I said Elvis, That's The Way It Is Okay, I went with Ernest Scared Stupid

That was ABCD's No! No! And since Matt is out and Joe gave my best, my favorite response, we'll let Joe go first in this next game and then he will be followed by Graham and then by Matt.

And this game is called Build a Title. Yeah. And I picked a movie that was filmed in Nashville. Yeah. Keeping shit local. Local ref. Or a bumper sticker in Fast and Furious 6.

Keeping shit loco. Sweet Dreams is the name of the movie, Joe. And I don't know if you know how to play build a title or not but I'll walk you through it you need to come up with a movie that either begins with the word dreams or ends with the word sweet got any idea other than I mean if you want to just breathe into the mic may I please have another vodka and soda? Gigantic. Gigantic. I'll take a Sam seasonal while you're at it.

I don't know anything that goes with Stars of Dreams or ends in sweet. We'll try to work in the Olympus has fallen. Okay, Joe's out. Yeah, I'm out. Graham. Two sweet dreams. Okay, Joe's out. Yeah, I'm out. Graham? Two Sweet Dreams. Two Sweet. What is Two Sweet? That's what the NWOs say.

Two Sweet actually was a Goldie Hawn movie that was a limited release that starred Goldie Hawn. Was it so limited that no one ever saw it and it was never made? No. She plays Goldie Hawn and a young James Woods. A young James Woods. They have a detective

agency and there's a candy store crime. Are you trying to describe? Matt, this is yours to win. Yeah, it is. I mean, to lose or win. Lose is more like it. Do you have anything that ends in sweet or begins with dreams? Hang on, Doug.

Take this. Whoops. It spilled a little bit on me there. And then I'm going to take that. Can I lick that off your pants? That's what family does. I'm not an alcoholic, but that vodka on your shorts looks really tasty. God damn it. Yeah.

Thank you to the staff here for bringing me a drink so quickly. You've had some time. Yeah. Nightmare on 34. Dream Warriors. Dream Warriors. Dreams Warriors. Yep.

Dreams Warriors. We're out. Okay. It happens every once in a while, but there's nothing better than a build a title that doesn't start at all. Doesn't even get going. Whose fault is that? You're right.

You're right. When all three contestants miss on Jeopardy, it's all on Alex. No, but it's on the dickhead producer that wrote the question. Yeah. Yeah, that guy. No, it's good. It's fun to stump everybody.

I don't like it. That's dumb. You wouldn't stump family, would you, Doug? Yeah. You want to stump a family, you got to be a family. I learned that in Brazil. When picking a title, I always choose one that has something you could say on both ends that I think of just off the top of my head.

I don't do any research beyond that. And I would have gone with California Suite or Suite Dreamscape. Dreamscape. Yeah, that's what I would have done. I don't care for either of those. But I might not have done it under the pressure that these guys were under. Because look at your faces. Like, they really want to make you guys happy.

Why did I get married to... Dreams. Sweet. Oh. And none of you are high or drunk. So that's exciting. Let's move on to a game that anybody can play. Because all you have to know is how to say a number out loud.

And it's called How Much Did This Shit Make? Oh, fun game. Fun game. And I apologize for dwelling on it, Nashville, but let's do Ernest Goes to Jail. They're very proud of that film. And let's do the same order again. Joe, how much did Ernest Goes to Jail make at the domestic box office during its entire run?

And you have to get the answer right without going over. What year was that? Can I ask that? You can. I'll have to look it up. But I, you know, just the fact that you asked nicely makes me want to look it up.

Let's see. Scared Stupid was in 94. Oh no, that was 91. Goes to Schools in 94. That makes sense. that was 91. Goes to school was in 94. That makes sense. First, you're scared stupid. And then a few years later, you're like, I got to go to school. You got to get some shit straightened out.

You got to get a degree. It didn't work out, though, because he went to jail. School didn't work out. I had to go to jail. First, this is an interesting timeline, because first he went to camp. Yeah. And I guess things didn't go that badly there because a year later, he saved Christmas.

So he was kind of on a roll, but then I don't know how you could save Christmas one year and two years later you go to jail. But that's what happened to him in 1990. What happens after he gets out of jail? And he was scared stupid in jail, obviously. And then he went to school. Okay. Yeah.

Did Ernest not go to Africa? And then of course he played the dog in all of the Toy Story movies and then has left us. He's passed away. Well, the first two Toy Story movies. Ernest goes to heaven. Is the dog not in the third one or they got somebody else to do it? They got Billy West or something? No, it's a comedian whose name I can't remember who did the voice. Oh, that guy.

Yeah. Ernest buried alive. I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure he was cremated. Ernest, heaven can wait. Jesus. Ernest, hell is for children. Crossed over into music there.

Joe, what do you think? I'm going to guess $25,000. That's what movies made back then. Joe, Doug wasn't... Tickets were like $3. Doug wasn't asking the Nashville per screen average. Graham, what do you think it made? I want to say

$35 million. That's cash. People do not like that bid. They didn't keep making them because they were fucking losing money. I'll tell you that much, folks. I'm going to underbid but overbid $25,000.

$25,000? I'm going to saybid, but overbid $25,000. 25-1. I'm going to say... You could say that. No, I'm going to say it made $28 million. So Joe Pettis could potentially win this with a bid of $25,000. Which would be goddamn awesome. Wait, it's Price is Right rules? Yes, you can't

go over, remember? Oh, fuck you all. I forgot. I'm going to showcase after this. 23? 23? What did it make? Our winner is Joe Pettis. What?

You get a box of happy gluten-free fruity pebbles. It's empty. Because Ernest Goes to Jail made $25 million. Wow! I was taking into account VHS sales.

The VHS were probably ridiculous. $100 into account VHS sales. Oh, the VHS were probably ridiculous. Yeah, probably. So $100 million in VHS sales. $100 million. That's the same as the score we got in Brazil. Family first, guys. Yeah. I heard $25,000 was just spent.

That was just... Come on, here comes the joke. That was just earnest on, here comes the joke. That was just Ernest's cocaine budget. Would have been a lot better if I just said it. We'll work on it. We'll fix it in post.

Ernest goes to rehab. So that means since Joe was the closest without going over and then Matt was the closest while going over, that we're going to play the Leonard Maltin game. We're going to start with Joe and then go to Matt and then go to Graham. Everybody's pumped! Let's do it! Ride or die, bitches!

You want to win Leonard Maltin, you're going to be a wolf. What? You show me how you play the Leonard Maltin game, I'll show you who you are. You show me how you drive, I'll show you how you do trivia. Dominic should have a bumper sticker that says, Ash, Cass, or Grass. Gimme. Dominic, are you just

full name? What's his last name? It's Dom to his friends and family. Toretto. Toretto, yeah. Well, that's all Vin Diesel,

or The Rock, just Toretto. That's all he said was call him Toretto the whole time. God, it was so great. Does Jordana have her baby in it?

Yeah. Yeah, there's a baby. It's a beautiful baby named Jack. It's a beautiful baby named Jack. It's born and then it's eight months old. Oh no, it has Benjamin Button. Yeah. And they're like constantly...

Doesn't make any sense. No, it has Jack. It has Jack. Remember the Robin Williams movie where he was like old and went to school? Wait, his name is Jack. Holy shit, is it a prequel? Crossover.

Oh my God, you get Jennifer Lopez in there as a teacher? Oh my God, this shit is going to be crazy. Throw in the bald British guy. Guys, we're making so much money with this And I'm telling you Just throw in the step up kids It'll be fucking awesome A car race to save the dance teen center

That is owned by Russian arms dealers Like just fucking go Do it Print it Shoot it Now I love it You show me how you dance for a Russian arms dealer

I'll show you who you are. What? That doesn't... Why would you... Yippee-ki-yay. They're the same person now. Vin Diesel and fucking Bruce Willis are the same person now. That's Bruce Willis.

That was very hurt by that, too. Bruce does have more range. Do you think Vin still has a a shelf where he's where an Oscar might go someday do you think he thinks that way or do you think he's just like I'm gonna phone in one car movie every year and be the richest man alive that's what he's gonna do I mean what was that movie he did where he gained weight and put on a wig and played an Italian guy on the witness stand? Oh, Raging Bull. You want to be a guy that fights for the mob? You got to be a wolf that fights for the mob.

What? Doesn't make any sense. Joe gets to pick a category. Hi. By the way, I just noticed that my mic cord says Zanny's mic cord. In case you don't know where you are. A lot of comics leave with the mic cords. In case you forgot where you are and you forget what town you're in. That's Billy Zane's Mike Cord. In case you don't know where you are. A lot of comics leave with the Mike Cords. In case you forgot where you are

and you forget what town you're in. It's Billy Zane's Mike Cord, everyone. And his was tested back in March. It says that on his tested pack on the other side. Tested on March 15th. 2012. It's been a long time since they tested

their Mike's here at Zany's. At least it's labeled. Thanks for bringing all this great behind thethe-scenes stuff to the show, Joe. March 15th is also when corporate taxes are due, guys. So FYI on that. It's always a month before. It's the Ides of March, too, right? Yep.

All right, let's do this. Anything else? No. You good? What are you, channeling Jeff Garland? Anything else? No. You good?

What are you, channeling Jeff Garlin? Would you like at Keet, K-E-T-E, zero, zero, suggested, what's in the box? And that's movies where Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant. What's in the fucking box? What's in the fucking box? That is delightful. What's in the fucking box? What's in the fucking box? That is delightful. Or, at Casey Malone, Casey with a C,

suggested Jack Reacher from the Black Lagoon. I can't even say it. Jack Reacher from the Black Lagoon. And that's movies where Tom Cruise wears a mask. Or, in theaters now, Joe, which, of course, is movies that you have not seen or probably paid much attention to because you were so crestfallen when Olympus. Olympus is down.

It still might be in a dollar theater. So you might you still have a shot if you pick that category. I'm going to go with Jack Reacher because unfortunately that was the last movie I saw before Olympus has fallen. OK, this has nothing to do with Jack Reacher Because unfortunately that was the last movie I saw Before Olympus has fallen Okay this has nothing to do with Jack Reacher But I also like Tom Cruise Except for it's a Tom Cruise vehicle And you get to pick between

1999 or 2001 Movies where Tom Cruise wore a mask Let's go with 99 Okay Interesting pick. People in the audience are murmuring. Don't say it too loud if you think you know it. Three stars from Leonard Maltin.

Top Gun! That includes everyone on stage. This is just on Joe right now. This 1999 movie is overlong and flawed according to Leonard and he also says

that the European version is more graphic. Yeah. Which I think is probably true of all films. So terrible clues As always And you get 12 names How many names do you think you can get

In Joe Pettis Atlanta, Georgia, Comedian, Phenom How many? Eight names Alright And then we go to Negative Deuce Oh crap Negative two names. All right. And then we go to negative deuce. Oh,

negative two. I translated for you guys. He meant negative two. And Graham is he's really in a pickle.

Yeah, because I don't like Graham to be able to remember the third person. I don't know the third name, so name it. All right. You got to get to remember the third person. I don't know the third name, so name it.

All right. You got to get them in the right order, of course. The film is Eyes Wide Shut. Maybe. And the actors, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman. In that order? Yeah, that's the order I'm going with. It's really kind of her story when you think about it, the way she's left behind and is barely in it. Yeah, he's the winner.

I'm not trying to get you to change your opinion. That is correct. That is correct. Who's the third name? Who's that third name? Who's that third name? Who's that third name?

Who's that third name? Who do you think it is, talking dog? Is it Sidney Pollack? Yes. Nice. Watch this. Watch this.

2001, I can go negative three names. Wait a second. Watch this. Watch this. 2001, I can go negative three names. Wait a second. Let me pull that up. All right. What do you think you could do on that one, Graham? The 2001. Wow, I'd have to say name that too.

I don't know. It's that other movie where Tom Cruise wears a mask. I might be totally wrong now that I remember. Because it could be one of two. But go for it. Vanilla Sky. Maybe. Tom Cruise. Penelope Cruise of the Cruise Clan.

And I'm going to say third build in that movie would be Cameron Diaz. Did you take your Sam Levine pills today? Because that is correct. Nice. Fourth build, Jason Lee. No.

Kurt Russell got it squeezed in on four. Gotcha. Yeah, Kurt Russell got a paycheck for talking to Tom Cruise in that dumb mask. Wow, what just happened? Who got the point? Me. Matt. Yeah.

I should get some sort of bonus for doing that other thing I did. No, that was fun, though. Yeah, it was good. I like that you did that, but you don't get shit for it. I might take away your one point just because of... Okay. It's the hubris reduction. That's fair.

I should start that with Sam Levine. You're being too cocky. Taking away a point. Sorry, buddy. Doug has his list written out. And then in the back he goes, I've got to hide this so no one Sam Levines it. That's more backstage stuff.

I really don't want you to reveal. And Sam doesn't cheat. He just plans. He's very studious yeah does he go through your at replies and figure out who's sending categories and try to figure out what's in the categories because that's what he could do now he could do that but i don't think he does i don't think that's what he does i think he hears the show and here's categories come up and they might come up again. Clever. That's my theory. But he denies it.

Lil Wolverine's very clever. He is. He's going to be back on soon. Nice. Like tomorrow. What? Yeah. Defending his title out in Los Angeles.

I'm going to have all new categories. That's crazy. Yeah. It's going to be sick. That's so exciting for this crowd right now. Move on. They can't get enough of what's going to happen when this isn't happening.

Who got left out of that skirmish? Joe again? Yeah, I told Matt to name it. Yeah, so we'll start with Joe and then we'll go to Graham. And Joe gets to pick between four weddings and a funeral. That's Frank Sinatra movies because he's had four wives and now he's dead. Or from our friend, my friend. No one's ever picked that one.

Yeah, people stay away from that one because he stopped making movies 30 years ago. But my friend on Twitter named at Matthew Dump Truck suggested two thumbs down. And that's motion pictures that Roger Ebert gave less than two stars. And then your third option, Joe, is Beverly Hills Flop. And that's Eddie Murphy movies

that Leonard Maltin gave below two stars. All but three. It's quite a few. Since you don't watch any modern movies, you should pick Sinatra. I'm going Beverly Hills Flop. I know all the Eddie Murphy movies, I think. Okay, this one's from 2002.

Leonard gave it one and a half stars. He says that Eddie Murphy sleepwalks through this dumb comedy. Again, not that great of a clue. 2002? Yes, sir. And he also says that Alec Baldwin appears unbilled.

And he lists 13 names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Joey P. Seven names. Seven? Seven names. Okay. Smartest bid would have been 13.

Seven is a way to go. Seven names? Yeah, that's what he says, Graham. All right. Name that movie. Oh, interesting. Strategy. I've given him a lot of names, but I don't think he knows anything.

That's a lot of names. And he said he knows Eddie Murphy movies. So this is 2002, and the seven names are Eliana Douglas, former guest on the show, future guest on the show, Miguel A. Nunez Jr. Nunes. Burt Young, who famously said in Rocky IV, What are you crazy?

What are you crazy? After Rocky said, I'm gonna fight the Russian. John Cleese, who does Funny Walks. Pam Greer. Peter Boyle. And James Redhorn. So I'm gonna just go, oh shit.

So he said, oh shit, on Peter Boyle. Oh shit. Everybody Peter Boyle. Oh, shit. Everybody loves Boyle. How many, Joe? I mean, what's the call, Joe? I'm going to go Dr. Doolittle. No. No.

That was one of his better ones. That probably got two stars. Two and a half. Yeah, the rest of the stars are Luis Guzman, Jay Moore, past guests on the show, Joe Pantoliano, Rosario Dawson, Randy Quaid, Eddie Murphy, and it's called, what's the full title? The Adventures of Pluto Nash.

Yes. Yes, I would not have accepted Pluto Nash or Dr. Doolittle. Nice strategic playing, Graham Elwood. You have a point. Boom! Put it on the board. I really want you to get on the board here, Joe. It's really important.

I won one of the games, right? I can tank it, Doug, if you want. No, don't. Nobody take it. I just said that just in case I lose. It looks deliberate. If you do lose, it looks like you were just being a nice guy. Just helping out Joe over there. Family, Joe.

Family's first. Hey, family first, man. Family first. Yeah, I hope Joe does well in this next round. Because if not, then one of the other two guys is going to win. And then we're going to have a little extra time on our hands and we're just going to have to talk about Fast and Furious. Oh! You're going down, Joe!

We will act out every scene from the film. How does it start? What's the first scene? The first scene is a car chase between a Nissan Skyline and a brand new Dodge Charger that shows the Charger keeping up with the Skyline, which is bullshit. Bullshit. Fucking bullshit. Right? You know. That is bullshit.

Why did you point at the black guy and say, you know? Because he had the reaction I was looking for of someone who agreed with me. He's a car guy. He did agree with you. Wow. Jesus. You could tell he was a car guy oh yeah how could you tell because he had

a reaction to it he agreed he went there's no way that white guy over there reacted he's too far away for me to see where that asshole's sitting plus he blended in with all the other white guys oh i get it now all white people look alike. Anyway, Jesus. It's like a game of where's blacko. I'm actually playing that game right now. The white guy was all like, hey, man. I'm from Massachusetts. We can't play that game.

It's just the governor. And then you look around and go, oh, it's a bunch of Irish people. There's several black people here that all probably came by themselves. Or with their weird friend. Who are you here with? He's with his weird friend. He's with his weird friend. It's his weird friend, Silent Bob.

His friend's got a mullet. That's fucking hardcore. He's more of a J Mullet and the black guy Thursdays after Detective Sleepy Oh my god If you put that shit on CBS It's after Nashville It is number one Right after Mike and Molly

Mondays Yeah mullet makes meth And the black guy's like a muscle car driver That's how it goes down. I'm watching the show. I don't fucking care. I'm so on board with that show. Why do they hang out together then? Because they share an apartment because the white guy

his grandmother died, left him a sweet rent-controlled apartment in New York City. Oh, they live in New York City? Of course they do. Yeah, no, it was a pilot. You'll see. They have to leave. They leave Nashville to go to New York City. Yeah, yeah. Of course they do. Yeah, yeah, no. It was a pilot. You'll see. They have to leave.

They leave Nashville to go to New York. Okay. He wants to get out. He's like, listen, no one understands my love of cars here. New York City's the place for me. It's like a modern day Midnight Cowboy, right? Where the weird white guy's rat's so rizzo. I'm walking hereboy, right? Where the weird white guy's rat's so rizzo. I'm walking here! You right?

Oh, God. That was fun. We had a good time. Where were we, Doug? That's the world we live in, that black guys who love cars have to make friends with a white guy with a mullet. Just to talk about cars. Baby steps's why obama picked joe biden biden's a big car guy

it is weird like why does he grow like he grows his hair long and then curls it under in the back and it's just like what what's he what's prove? Just get it nice and high and tight. But he was young when that hairstyle was in vogue. That's what he's trying to prove. It almost looks like a wig. Oh, like a barrister? Yeah. Yeah, like a barrister down at Starbucks.

Jesus. Hey, let's play the Leonard Moulton game. The score is 0-0-0. We're starting out from scratch. I call take backs. Hey, it's past March 2012. We check this again. Is it Tara or Tara?

Tara. Oh, there you are. Where is she? There she is right there. Hi. Great sign. I can't root for anybody specifically, but if you don't win, I'm going to rig it so that you do win. And who challenged who on that last round?

Graham challenged me. Yep. Okay, so we'll start with Matt, and then we'll go to Graham. Matt, would you like The Dark Knightly? That's movies where Keira Knightly kills someone. Domino. Or? Dude.

What? Oh, I thought you just said Domino. Did you think we were playing a different game? The Name It immediately game? So that category's out. Okay. No, no, it's alright. At

nam underscore joti J-O-T-I suggested the Werner Herzog category. And that's movies that have a colon in the title. Because Werner Herzog loves movies with colon in the title. Like

Bad Lieutenant 2, Port of New Orleans. And at Bassman Kurt, K-U-R-T, guy plays a mean bass, yeah,

he suggested Baby Got Back and that's movies where a missing baby is returned. That's pretty good. Now, let me ask, what's the cutoff age

for Baby? Like 14. You know, like that point where you go, oh, look at that thing that's walking around. Some people will be like, that's a toddler. Why is that baby walking? Okay, so the point of like, what's he start walking?

Because they toddle and then they're toddlers, is that what you're saying? Is that what you're saying? Let me double check. Yeah, these are babies that aren't walking yet. Okay. That's why they're so easily kidnappable. Listen, I'm going to take my chances.

They can't run away. All right, so none of these movies are Mel Gibson's conspiracy. Or ransom. Anyway, I'll take the baby category. I'm going to take the baby category. Babies! I want to get those babies back. Chili's.

Would you like a baby gets returned from 1987 or 2009? A baby gets returned from 2009. If it fits his ships. I'm going to go 80. These are fictional babies, you guys. No real babies are in danger right now. For anyone that's concerned with the babies.

The Lord's Year, 1989. 87. It's 87. 87. All right. I'm going to rethink this and go the Lord's year, 2007. Oh, go 87. You keep saying years that aren't options.

Doug, what was the year again? 2009 or 87. Damn it. I really wish 89 was... We'll go 20 on 9. We'll go 20 on 9. Okay. Three stars.

Oh. From Leonard. That's 9 3 stars from Leonard that's like 5 stars from any other human being he gives plenty of movies more than 3 stars but he says about this movie that the screenplay was written by two dudes that's Leonard's wording

not mine he says that this movie is well acted and he also says that it oh everything

everything gives this away he also says that it is oh he says that the unrated version runs 108 minutes. Oh.

And he lists... Zero names, Doug. 13 names. I'm going to go zero. Wow. Just jumping in with zero. And at least half of the people here applaud that. Everyone else is like, we got high,

thought we were seeing a stand-up show. We don't understand any of these games. This makes no sense. What the fuck is happening? I came here to support the troops. So is it to me or to Joe? It's to you challenged last time, right? Yeah.

Yeah, so it's you. All right, give me the clues again. I don't remember. Three stars. It was written by two dudes. Unrated version runs 108 minutes. And he said it was well acted. Well acted.

And a baby gets kidnapped in 2009. Yeah, and Matt took it from 13 names to zero names. Matt's really grown in this game. Because the first time he played, you were terrible at it. Made one of the biggest mistakes I've ever seen in the game. Someone would say name it 13,

and I would say name it. Yeah. And it was the shining. That strategy did not work out. It was the shining. Yeah. Kind of popped into focus around Shelley Duvall and Jack Nicholson. All right, I'll just go ahead.

The category was Stephen King movies. What is wrong with me? But you've learned and moved on, and you're a great player now. You're the current. You're going on to the fourth tournament of championships. You're already qualified. You're going on to the next, the fourth tournament of championships. You're already qualified. That's right. Graham? I'll go negative one.

Ooh. This sucks because Joe's going to be like, name it. He'll never get back to me. That's possibly what's going to happen. You really have a Sam Levine attitude right now. If I don't get it right, then Joe gets appointed. We have a three-way tie.

That's right. I'm going to throw himself on the grenade. That's what family would do. That's what if you want it, that's what would you do? That's what family does then. If you go negative one, then I know what kind of guy you drive. What? How did I? Because if this game ends soon, you guys are going to have to do 15 more minutes of Fast and Furious

material. That's why I said negative one. Yeah. I'm going to say name it then. Alright. Alright, what is it, Graham? Give me the clues again. You idiot! You idiot! Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has well acting.

It's well acting. It's the baby Jessica movie. It's totally well acting. It's a baby that fell down a well, everybody, in the early 80 movie. It's totally well acting. It's a baby that fell down a well, everybody, in the early 80s. Well acting. Well, now that you brought it up, I have to do my impression of a small child

trapped in the bottom of a well who doesn't understand the seriousness of the predicament. Small child trapped in the well doesn't understand. I'm gonna get some candy. Alright, Graham, your other clues are that it was written by two dudes

and that the unrated version runs 108 minutes and you have to name the movie and the top billed performer in the movie and the category is that a baby gets returned. Apocalypto Mel Gibson.

First of all he's not fucking in Apocalypto. Has a cameo. He could have been standing behind the rock. He's top billed for his cameo. Why wouldn't he do that? He threw on some more paint one day He could have been standing behind the rock. He's top built for his cameo. It's his movie. Why wouldn't he do that? He threw on some more paint one day and showed up on the set.

I'm going to do a quick bit here. He dresses up. He's the leopard. He's in the leopard costume that chases the guy through the true story. That guy loves him. Some blue face paint. He chases the Jewish guy in the movie. Get off my set. Chases him right out of Mexico.

Get off my set, sugar tits! Yeah, that was the working title of Apocalypto, Sugar Tits. The answer is The Hangover. And the top-billed person, of course, is Bradley Cooper. Yeah, I wasn't sure where to go with that.

Yeah, no, that would have been tricky. What was the... Could you read me the top three in there? Can you guess the top three? I just don't know which order it would be. I guess it would be Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis. That's correct. Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms. Do you get anything wrong?

Oh, yeah. Ever? Yeah. Lots of times. Okay. I'll wake up this TV king apparently. They threw Justin Barthel the fourth slot, though. That was kind of sweet. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Because Heather Graham has a bigger part. She's fifth. You know, she's the one

the baby gets returned to after Zach jerks it off. Yeah. And now you can buy a teacher. He just mimes it, you guys. Settle down. Are you familiar

with the Hangover films? No, we only go see movies that are in black and white or have subtitles. We were hoping for Doug Loves Bergman. Doug Loves Bergman. We have a three-way tie, ladies and gentlemen. Graham Elwood knows how show business works.

That's goddamn right, baby. Yeah, and he knows how to make for an exciting conclusion here at this wonderful Memorial Day... You can't spell Hollywood without Elwood, motherfucker! Well, actually, sort of. Well, you don't need the E. Or... You can't spell Hollywood

without a wolf. He's right. Do you have anything to say about Memorial Day, Graham? I know you love to entertain the troops whenever you get a chance. Yeah, you know, if you want, you could donate. There's some great vets organizations. There's the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans

of America. That's iava.org. There's the Disabled American Veterans, which is dav.org. And there's an organization that I just did a show for, the Wounded Warrior Project.org. So support a vet and go to those websites, you guys. And next, Matt gets to pick the category. All right. And since who challenged who? Joe challenged Graham, so then we'll go to Joe.

And Matt, you get to choose between these options. At Ben Tumble, T-U-M-B-U-L-L, suggested Battle of Balls Deep. And that's movies where Lord of the Rings actors have sex. People from Lord of the Rings having sex in another movie. It actually happened. Serious question. Why don't I understand the pun of that title? Helm's Deep.

Okay, thank you. I hate the Lord of the Rings. I did. Thank you. Thank you. Sorry hate the Lord of the Rings. It is. Thank you. Sorry, this doesn't... You hate it? Yeah, I can't stand it. I concur

with Matthew Myra. I think it is boring as shit. And, uh, listen, I think it's well acted. And that the uncut version runs 129 minutes. And I'm really glad they get that baby back to Mordor.

Let's find out. Joe, where do you stand on Lord of the Rings films? It's not my favorite Pia Jackson movie for sure. What is? I'm guessing Beautiful Creatures. Nope. Heavenly Creatures. I'll give you a clue.

I'll give you a clue. It's his first movie. First movie. Nope. Heavenly creatures. I'll give you a clue. I'll give you a clue. It was his first movie. First movie. Oh. Oh, Ghostbusters. Dead Alive? Dead Alive, yeah. Ghostbusters. Which was Dead Alive, which was also filmed in New Zealand. It's interesting. This is the first show we've ever done on the road

where the audience is gone by the time we're done. Everybody just politely got up and left. Well, that was... I think that's ending. Those guys didn't seem like they were ever going to stop telling their stupid references. Their little insider remarks. All right, so I'm guessing you're not going to pick that category.

No, sure. I like all the actors. I said it was well acted. And you remember which actors are in it? Yeah. Because that's key to this category. You got your Vigos. You got your Relages.

You got your... Why are you helping the other players? Oh. I'll take it, Doug. What? Well, I mean, I mean, I'll take the second category you said. I've only said one category. Who's high today?

Once you say the second, I'm going to take it. Go ahead. Your second option. Yep. Suggested by G-E-O-F-F Tate. Jeff Tate, 96. Really thought it was going to be G-E-Squid. Girls, man.

He suggested Snakes Not on a Plane. Love it. Which is movies where Kurt Russell takes a different form of transportation. Ah! Ah! So Kurt Russell can't be on a plane? That's the category? There may also be a plane, but there's at least another form of

transportation. Okay. Yeah. He gets around in some other way. And at BJ underscore Schwartz underscore Schwartz suggested Glenn

so close. And that's movies where Glenn Close was nominated for an Oscar but didn't win. Wow. Which one of those would you like? Second category, Doug. Kurt Russell. Would you like a movie where Kurt Russell

is on some other form of transportation that's not a plane from 2006 or 1997? I'm going to go 1997. Okay. This one, three stars. I already heard somebody in the audience say the correct answer.

Three stars. I did too, so go with the other one. Go with the other one. All right. Fucking don't say Breakdown. We all knew it was Breakdown. We're going to go with 2000. Who said it?

Was it you, my car-loving friend? Was it your weird buddy? He just got excited that he drives a red Jeep Cherokee. And he's like, fuck it. I love this movie. Red Jeep Cherokee, 210 foot-pounds of torque. I'll tell you how you drive. If it was the black guy, I deserve that.

The black guy. What is your name, sir? I gotta stop talking that way. Henry! I'm gonna stick with black guy. You ever go by Hank? Do you go by it? You don't go by Hank.

He's like, never. He's not Henry Aaron. He could be Hanksy. Hanksy and the mullet.anksie and the mullet. Hanksie and the mullet. That's a morning radio. Welcome to Hanksie and the mullet. Hey, it's a Freaky Frat Friday.

Hanksie and the mullet. Giving away a Q105. We got Doug Benson on the line. He's at Staney's today at 420. Doug! Are you guys going to let me say what I came here to say? Hey, Doug! Doug, are you high right now?

I bet he's high right now. I mean, this is why I don't do morning radio. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. It's very difficult to get your jokes in. Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug. Yeah, hey, what's up? Who's the most famous person you ever smoked weed with? Oh, I'd have to say...

Was it Paris Dillerman? We all know you like Sarah Dillerman. Are you going to let me answer the question? Hey, we're going to be down at Hooters this weekend. We'll be down there with a 93.7 van. Give it up for party favor. Let's go to the hottie cam. Yeah.

All right. Everybody see Doug Benson today at 420 and Zany's. Thanks so much for being with us, Doug. We got to go to commercial mattresses. Sleep train. I don't know. That didn't sound like a train. That's the sleep train sale alarm, everybody.

When Hanksy and the mullet and I get tired, we always sleep on a sleep train mattress. 93, Shepard. Leave the last ass off for savings. Caller 15,

you're on the line. Yeah, I really like Doug Benson, and I don't think you guys gave him enough time to talk. Well, if you guys want to get tickets, don't think you guys gave him enough time to talk. Well, if you guys want to get tickets, don't forget to call Sadie's.

What are you guys having for lunch? All right. I'll see you guys at Hooters this weekend. Nice tits. Thank you. There's no one in the balcony anymore. Some of the staff have left. They just shut down the bar.

We're out. Don't forget, out on the street where it belongs, Graham Elwood is going to be selling copies of... Out on the street. I work the streets. He's got his book and Palm Strike t-shirts.

2006, Kurt Russell. We'll take pictures and stuff if you guys want. We'll all be out there. We'll autograph your signs and everything else. Two stars from Leonard for this movie. We'll take pictures and stuff if you guys want. Yeah, we'll all be out there. We'll autograph your signs, everything else. Two stars from Leonard for this movie. We'll have some 93.7 Frisbees to be giving away. Hacks and a bullet on the sidewalk. No fat chicks.

I love disc golf. Shut up, stoner Stanley 2006 Leonard says about this movie Let's see How can I not give it away When a rogue wave overturns a luxury ocean liner A random group of passengers

Band together to find a way to escape and survive. Why did you just give it away? Who will live? Who will die? Oh, my God. Who will care? Hey. Wow.

And Leonard Liss. Hey, Matt Myra, here's the victory. And Leonard Liss. Oh, but I don't know who's on top. Eleven names. How many names do you think you could get it in I'm gonna go this Kurt Russell movie where he takes another form of

transportation is probably never seen in a plane in this movie I'm gonna go with I'm gonna subtract one negative one yeah he says negative one god damn it and then we go to who was the last challenger I think it's up to James One. Negative one. Yeah. He says negative one. God damn it.

And then we go to who was the last challenger? I think it's up to James. Who's James? I mean. We got Jamie Petbone on the line, 9-3-7, doing some shows out of the lab. But. I'm going to say negative two. Negative two. Oh, this is awesome.

Hey, Jamie, name that movie. All right, Giorno. No, this can't happen. Oh, crap. What's the movie called? I have no idea. You motherfucker. Yes.

I thought Matt was going to win. That's what you get for calling me James James. I gave the win. No idea? That's fair. No idea at all? I can name the first person, the first name, Kurt Russell. Oh, wow. Oh, my God.

There you go, guys. It was a remake. All right. Remake Poseidon. All right, Joe. Poseidon. What's happening? Why are you?

You just did it. I can't do this. I don't know the second name, though. Okay, you said negative two. Yeah. And what's the name of the movie? Is it Poseidon? Something. Maybe. Poseidon something. I don't Yeah. And what's the name of the movie? Is it Poseidon? Something? Maybe. Poseidon something? I don't know.

And who's the top billed actor? Kurt Russell. And then the second one was, the second bill is James something. Richard Dreyfuss. Richard Dreyfuss? He's probably like third billed. He's third billed. Eleventh bill build, of course, is Fergie. Because sometimes she takes time away from English royalty to appear in films.

But unfortunately, nice try, Joe. Thanks. But the top build actor in Poseidon was Josh Lucas. What? Followed by Kurt Russell. Wow. Well, I would have gotten it wrong, too. Well done, America.

And that means that he probably won't go to his head. He won't make a big deal out of it. Graham Elwood is our winner, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah! Oh, Pop strikes. There's so many pop strikes.

He's punching that dinosaur so hard. What's in there? What's in it? Just guitar picks? Yeah, we were in Nashville. You gotta have a guitar pick. Oh, Graham is hacky-sacking something in the crowd. You got some brass?

Throw the pins out there. He's got some papers. He can roll the real sticky icky. Hey, have fun with those shoelaces. Wow, that was the weakest. We'll give Mark his prizes, Graham. He won the prize bag. Congratulations, Mark.

Congratulations, Mark. Tara, I'm sorry. Come on out. I'll give you the book. Oh, there. Really? Tara had the best. They're both great name tags.

They both did a great job. Let's do the plugs. Graham're both great name tags. They both did a great job. Let's do the plugs. Graham, you already did yours. But you can go to my tour dates at GrahamElwood.com. No, I'm going to talk over the whole thing. My Twitter handle is at GrahamElwood. And I'm the current 12th guest of Christmas two times. You can't stop victory, Doug.

Joe, where can people see you do your stand-up comedy? Like I said, every other Monday at the Sweetwater Brewery in Atlanta. Or you can follow me to find out on Twitter. That's the website. Twitter, Instagram, OKCupid.

By the way, I use... Follow him the website. Twitter, Instagram, OKCupid. By the way, I use my... Follow him on Match.com, Christian Mingle. And I use my real name on all his websites. Ashley Madison. The best thing about Christian Mingle is in the commercial, they go, we never would have met if but for Christian Mingle. Find God's match for you, because he needs a fucking website. Yeah, God would just have you bump into each other

on the street. No, he wants you to walk. Okay, my bad. No, he would. He would. That's what the Lord would do. He wants you to walk through the desert. Matt, do you have any plugs? Yeah, watch the season finale of The Nerdist 10 p.m. on BBC America

on Saturday. Follow me on Twitter at MattMyram, A-T-T-M-I-R-A. I love how you looked at your watch. I looked at the... I actually had to look at the date to make sure there was another show, which there is. Enjoy it. You got Seth Rogen, Zach Galifianakis are going to be on. It's going to be a fun show.

Nice. All my dates and dinks are at DougLovesMovies.com. And Mark, did you write a shithead on the back of that? Yes Okay, Graham's gonna pass that to me Like a fortune cookie Oh, Outlook Bleak Wow, you got multiple shitheads

Yeah, there's also a shithead on these gluten-free fruity pebbles If you just want to go on a shithead rampage No, no, that guy didn't get picked The guy you played for doesn't get to name a shithead. I don't know why I asked you. Oh, okay. That was written before the show? That is the strangest coincidence.

Oh, not a coincidence because your name tag is... You obviously saw Fast and Furious 6. All right. Thank you to all of my guests. Matt Myrick, Joe Pettis. Thank you so much, Nashville! Nashville, Nashville. Thank you. Brian Melwood. Nashville.

Nashville. Come say hi to all of us outside. And where's that hat? Joe, Joe, where's that hat? I already forgot. Oh, I remember who's on there. As always, Pete Holmes is a shithead. And Jason Statham is a shithead and Jason Statham is a shithead