Doug Loves Movies - Michael Moore, Graham Elwood, and Patrick Moote Guest

Episode Date: July 31, 2013

Live from Michigan's Traverse City Film Festival, Doug welcomes Graham Elwood, Patrick Moote ("Unhung Hero"), and fest founder Michael Moore to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, Sticky seeds with 50 azupe popper kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, because Doug loves movies. Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Oh, that was a good one.

You guys are good at that. The last few crowds, half of them have sang it and the other half have gone, yay! So it's just a mess. And we're coming to you from the Old Town Playhouse in Traverse City, Michigan as part of the Traverse City Film Festival! Woo!

as part of the Traverse City Film Festival! Woo-hoo! All right. Let's get into it. It's great to be back here. I performed on this very stage during the Comedy Festival, the Traverse City Comedy Festival. Yeah.

And I was like, man, this would be probably one of my most favorite places on earth if I wasn't freezing my balls off. It was fucking cold here in the wintertime. But that's how much fun it was, though. It was totally worth it. But then I also got you know started scheming to come here during this time of year where i'm still dressed like it's cold outside i got a hoodie on because it's it's a little chilly out there i love it uh you guys

it's july 31st two oceans 13 can i see your name? Did you bring some name tags? Holy cow. We got lots of name tags. They're all up front so they knew what was going on. No name tags in the balcony. Those are the first timers. Waving at me like this is a TV show or something. I love it, but there's lots of good ones. There's Annie Hall that has my face on there.

It's kind of disturbing. There's Jan the Unknown Comic, I guess, is what that bag over your head is supposed to be. But your name is Jan? In the Iron Mask. Jan in the Iron Mask. Okay, you don't seem crazy. Does she not know that that's a paper bag?

It's not an iron mask. There's a Fez over there. What's that Fez say on it? Austin Powers, the stepson who shagged me. Austin Powers, the stepson who shagged me. Stetson. Stetson. Who shagged me.

Your last name is Stetson? Okay. Because that's a Fez, not a Stetson. Although, I should have said cowboy hat. name is Stetson? Okay. Because that's a Fez, not a Stetson. Although I should have said cowboy hat, not a cowboy hat. Stetson, like, do you think there's a Fez name like Stetson, like the name in Fez's?

Like the name to go to if you're Fez-ing? Is that Baseball Jordan? What's your name? Heather, okay. But you're ripping off Baseball Jordan? What's your name? Heather, okay. But you're ripping off Baseball Jordan's idea. Well, thanks you guys for...

Oh, and there's a Flint... Man from Flint poster, which is a very clever Michigan reference. And what is the Jeff who lives at home? What does that say? That's me, Jeff, and Doug. That's you, Jeff, and me, Doug. Okay. It's like dialogue right, and me, Doug. Okay.

It's like dialogue right out of a Tarzan movie. All right. Thank you guys for bringing your name tags, and we will spring those on the guests a little later in the show. Now, by round of applause, how many people here have never heard the Douglas Movies podcast? Applaud if you've never heard it. All right. We've got a line of people outside that are actual fans. have never heard the Douglas Movies podcast. Applaud if you've never heard it. Alright.

We've got a line of people outside that are actual fans. So what I'd like you to do I would like you to get up. We're going to need you to get up. No, thank you for coming and I hope you enjoy it. Like I do with the movies here, I like to just

take a chance and just go hey, it's 9am, let's go see a fucking movie and i'll just go walk into something and watch it and just be like whoa like today i saw the shamu movie the uh blackfish uh it's about how sea world's so horrible to whales and um uh not the whales in the uk they're horrible to the actual whales fish blackfish and um there was a little girl maybe five six years old a tiny little girl sitting in this in the seat in front of me and i just kept like looking at her like waiting for her to just have a complete you know nervous. Because the movie is a series of trainers on video getting killed by whales.

Like, it happens a lot more than we know about. Oh, it's messed up. I'm never going to SeaWorld again, you guys. I'm serious about that. I don't care how many roller coasters they add. Because that's why I go. Once again, thank you to everyone who's new here, and also if you've never

seen my comedy, you can check out a movie that I did called The Greatest Movie Ever Rolled over at chill.com and it'll be available on VOD in your homes and iTunes on August 15th. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Gary Lucy, with

three U's, Lucy tweeted, I hear Blue Jasmine is Andrew Dice Clay's best movie since Ford Fairlane. This has been Tweet Relief, Tweets About Movies. I thought you guys would get it because that movie's playing here,

but I don't think, Yeah, because the joke is he hasn't done any movies since Ford Fairlane. And it is his best movie. I like Blue Jasmine. From the corrections department, Don Cheadle was not in Speed.

And I misquoted Pootie Tang. Yeah, in both cases, it's because I'm racist. I got shows coming up in Pittsburgh, Salem, Oregon, Madison, Wisconsin, Tempe, Arizona, and more. Go to douglasmovies.com for deets, dates, and links.

I love this festival. I want to do it every year, if that's possible, if you'll have me. From the music before all of the screenings, I should have caught the name of the performer that was here tonight, but she had to stretch a little bit. She was great, right? Right?

You guys are looking at me like, that was a man. Because I only heard... You know what I'm saying. I figured out it was a lady with my ears. They got recycling programs here. They've got outdoor screenings.

This festival's a total delight. I can't recommend it enough. And the prize bag, of course, has got you can get, there's a card in here that you can get a t-shirt and a hat, I believe, that say Traverse City, Michigan Film Festival TCFF.

And when I was in Philadelphia, two dudes, a guy named Matthew, whose name is M. Stargle on Twitter, and a guy named Eric, whose name is Sheets, S-H-E-A-T-S, Eric, they gave me

Cuban cigars, like Havana, Cuba, legitimate cigars. And they're like, put it in a prize bag and I'm like that's great I can't wait to fly around the country with those in my bag people are going to think

TSA is going to think I'm some sort of cigar smoking asshole no cigars are cool I just don't smoke them so happy to pay them forward I got a couple of comic books because I was at Comic Con No, cigars are cool. I just don't smoke them. So happy to pay them forward. I got a couple of comic books because I was at Comic-Con recently. I got Battle Pope. That looks pretty good. And on the other spectrum of comics, one called The Little Depressed Boy.

It's really two kinds of comics, and that's both of them. I've been fueled since I arrived here with some edibles from a place called Sweet Stone Candy. And thank you to them. And I've got a gift card in here for iTunes for $10. You can go buy premium episodes of Douglas movies or, you know, whatever you want to get. Get some Kesha if you're into that. And copies of two of my CDs. All this can be yours, including another prize that I didn't want to touch.

And, oh, and this book that we'll tell you about in a second. Please give a big, warm Travis City Film Festival welcome to Graham Elwood, Patrick Mood, and Michael Moore. Uh-oh, Graham's already... Is this a vine or just a picture? Photo bombing. That's just a selfie. I don't care for that word, selfie. Hello? Can you hear me? Yeah, see what I'm talking about?

Another professional comedian gets on this microphone and it's just not, it just doesn't feel that hot. I like a hot mic. Yeah, Graham Elwood, everybody. Let's hear it for Graham. He needs a hot mic. What's up?

You are including in the prize bag a copy of your book, Comedy Film Nerds, which is based on the Comedy Film Nerds podcast. Someone just sat and wrote down things that you said during the podcast.

That's not accurate, Doug. It's a movie guide, so we have 24 different genres of film that are covered. There's 11 contributing writers. Doug wrote the foreword, and we'll be here doing a meet and greet after the show. We'll be right here by the stage if anyone wants to

buy that, take photos, whatever. And we'll also, you get to meet Wolverine who's here. Stand up. Wolverine's here. There he is, ladies and gentlemen. That's the Wolverine. That's the actual... Hugh Jackman looks a lot more ripped on screen. Do you... So you just don't understand what the word's name tag...

You wrote your name on it? On the inside of the thing that you wear on your head? Yeah. And what is your name? Tony. Okay, Tony. We'll see you later. Is this Tony Wolverine? Michigan Wolverine. Hey, I'll get back to? Tony. Okay, Tony. We'll see you later. Wolverine?

Hey, I'll get back to you in a second, Tony. There's an Academy Award winner on stage. Thank you so much. Graham, sit down. I was talking about future Academy Award winner. Patrick Mood is here, everybody. Yes. I'm excited.

The inspiration for the motion picture Unhung Hero. By the way, not my idea for titles. I was going to call it Fruitfully Average Hero, but it got hated on immediately. All right.

How did the director of this movie, the people who made this movie, how did they find you and decide to tell your story? Well, actually, the director is a close friend of mine. Okay. So I had a situation in which a marriage proposal was turned down, and one of the reasons was because my penis might be a little too small.

Or does she just have a giant vagina? That's what I said. That's what I said. I know. I don't know. Yeah, she probably has a vagina.

There was an echo but there was... She just has a really big baby cave and it's her problem. That's a scientific term. Look it up. It is.

It is. Single's a scientific term. Look it up. It is. Single man grandma wood, everybody. Really woos the ladies with the baby cave talk. Hey, what's up, ladies? Nice baby cave. Ooh, you look good. I just want to get up in that baby cave. Oh.

I want to do a drone on the side of your baby cave. I'm sorry. My new album is coming out. Don't apologize for that. That was awesome. How are the folks that have never seen this before liking it so far? Traverse City locals are like,

what is this business? Where is the... Foul-mouthed Hollywood comedians come here. Talk about baby caves. Is there a tour that goes to the baby cave? I want to see it. Is that like a traverse? Yeah, yeah.

I'm the tour guide. So failure is where the tour ends. All right. All right, you two. I have to live here after you guys leave. Michael Moore, ladies and gentlemen. Michael Moore, ladies and gentlemen! Michael Moore is here.

Founder of this festival. Nine years. This is the ninth one. Big Ten next year. Maybe? Maybe? We'll come back next year I'm assuming the rest of the week goes

okay all the baby cave talk you might be like oh we're canceling this shit I love your film actually it's really a good movie but Deb Lake who's the director of the festival,

she programmed you in the midnight as a midnight movie, like the horror movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the small penis guy gets to the horror slot. As far as I'm concerned, that's where it belongs because it is terrifying for me to watch that movie. It's awful. But it is very good, and I'm very... Oh, that reminds me.

What did you bring as your contribution to the prize bag? Oh. Well, I kind of found out about the prize bag a little late, so hang on. I got to do something. So I autographed a pair of underwear. And then I made the director autograph the back, which he would only put his initials on

because he was terrified. We then burned the Sharpie. Completely creeped out by that. So, this is in the prize bag, but I signed it. It says Patrick Boot, a.k.a. Unhung Hero. My penis was here. All right, well, you... And it's my

smallest pair of underwear. So you go ahead and hang on to those. And whoever, whatever audience member wins tonight, you can just pass them off directly. Yeah, Doug wouldn't put it in the bag. I was like, come on, man. I don't think a prize has ever been turned down.

Listen, I'll keep them all back on tonight. I'm not afraid. So, man so I don't think a prize has ever been turned down so back to Michael this isn't your like we got our first piece of evidence here for a CSI Traverse City like we need rubber gloves we've got it the evidence here here just put it here put it, the evidence. It is not the thing. Here, here, just put it on the straw. All right, there we go. That's evidence. That's how you handle evidence. I can't sit here for two hours like this. Stage manager.

Come on, take a bow. That's our stage manager. No, they're back there drinking. Just drop it on the ground. Not a hell of a thing. There it is. That's our stage manager. No, they're back there drinking. Just drop it on the ground. Not a hell of it. There it is. That's awesome. That's where underwear belongs,

just on the ground. I used your straw. Honestly, I'll go pick it up and use it again. I'm comfortable with myself. Yeah, what is it? A five minute rule? As long as you pick it up.

It's more like the five inch rule michael moore ladies and gentlemen how about that yeah tip your wait staff he's going to be doing the late show as well ladies and gentlemen thank you by the way for the five inch thing well you know there's this great moment in his movie uh not i don't give too much away Thank you, by the way, for the five-inch thing. I have a question. There's this great moment in his movie. I don't want to give too much away, but you consult various people during the movie, and you discover that the inside of the vagina,

the baby cave that you guys were talking about, is not like a bat cave. It's not a huge operation in there. It's like three and a half inches once you're in the vagina back to the cervix. It's short. To the clitoris, it's only

three centimeters to the clitoris. Three centimeters? Yeah. What more do you need? You can't go past the cervix. Five inches, I'm too big for most of you ladies. You hear that, ladies? I like to announce that when I walk into a bar.

Good evening, ladies. I'm too much for most of you. The others are going to be severely disappointed. I'm sorry, Doug, you were saying. Oh, I was just going to ask a serious question about the festival. Is there kind of a new slogan each year, or is it always one great movie can change you? The slogan has been just great movies since the beginning.

Okay. But this year we started thinking about making a short film for our 10th anniversary and asking people on the street during the festival about that one movie that you felt changed you in some way or maybe even changed your life. And I really believe that that's true. I mean, I think we all can think of that movie or maybe two movies even that was it like a real training

I've narrowed it down to 700 because that's a tough question for me because as a guy who goes around proclaiming his love for movies I get asked all the time what's your favorite movie you know they just want bar none what is the one and I just love him so I love all my little babies living in their caves. So you don't tell them just one movie? I can never come up with it. I can tell you my favorite movie

right now. It's probably something I just watched a few minutes ago or a couple days ago for the 15th time or whatever. I always have current favorites. Right. So what's your one if you were asked to name one?

Changing what movie? That or just your favorite. Either one. My favorite movie is Clockwork Orange. Taxi Driver. Pee Wee's Big Adventure. And when I get there, when I get to Pee Wee's Big Adventure. And when I get there, when I get to Pee-wee's Big Adventure,

then they start looking at me like, what do you mean Clockwork Orange and Pee-wee's Big Adventure? That's very odd. It's like Apocalypse Now and Transformers. No, but Pee-wee's Big Adventure actually is a brilliant... Was it Tim Burton's first film?

Tim Burton's first, yeah. Yeah, it's good. It's real good. He rides an awesome bike. But I'd say the one movie in terms of having the initial impact, I mean, as a child, was To Kill a Mockingbird. That, I would imagine, not only inspired you as a filmmaker, but also an activist as well.

No, just maybe want to shoot dogs in the street. Rabbit dogs. You should be Boo Radley in the reboot. When are they going to reboot that shit? What are they waiting for? That movie's perfect. Why aren't they out there ruining it as we

speak? It's Michael Bay's next project. Oh, my God. I will kill myself if that happens. I'll go to the next one. Atticus Fitch is back. Shia LaBeouf has never been... more argumentative

yeah the judge is the transformer in the big trousing start shooting at everybody Boo Radley takes off his mask this time it's personal Robert Duvall

his first film does he have one line or is he just quiet the whole time i don't think he speaks at all he doesn't there's that one scene he comes out and and you finally see his face and she goes hey boo that's it oh you know what though i heard that he had a line they cut it his line was my penis is too big for you that's what he said to the little girl? Wow. That's horrifying. Yeah, he was a scary character. Made it a completely different movie. Yeah, they had to cut that out. Like, this changes it.

Midnight screenings only for this film. It was terrifying. So thanks for bringing that up, dude, in the balcony. I love what you've done with this, you know, not only this festival, Michael, but also the comedy festival that I had the privilege of performing in. With you sitting right there in the audience the entire time, I was absolutely terrified doing my act in front of you.

And then T.J. Miller walked out here and poured water on himself, and I felt better. I was like, my shit was really sophisticated. People loved you here. That's why this show sold out the very... Like two hours. First two hours. Yeah. And some of these people have even heard the podcast.

We could have done three more of these. Wait, what's a podcast? Is that a thing that happens? You know, it's a little? Is that a thing that happens? Well... You know, it's a little big for you to worry about. Stick to the small time step.

Oh, so that reminds me. Unhung Hero is playing tonight at midnight and, you know, the standby lines seem to work pretty well here.

So if anybody is inspired now to go check out that movie and knowing the Premise. Check it out? Yeah. It's a lot less creepy than it sounds. I wouldn't be sitting here if it was. And it wasn't just that his girlfriend

turned down his proposal, but it begins with, he decides to do the proposal. Was it a Laker game or UCLA? UCLA. Okay. So he's in, what arena? Is that the Bruin Arena there? Pauly Pavilion. Yeah. Okay. So they're in this huge basketball arena, and you know they do that,

you must have arranged it with the Jumbotron people. I did, I went way out of my way. Okay, so he's got the Jumbotron ready, and all of a sudden they put the camera on and his girlfriend, and he gets down on his knees, holds out, and it's not the jumbotron, holds out the ring

everybody in the arena is just so happy and she's just staring at him and then she goes, no on the jumbotron and this one on the internet went viral crazy viral outbreak viral people felt really bad for you

but she didn't say the tiny dick thing with the... No. On, of all places, the jumbotron. Yeah. She's probably like... The film actually premiered at South by Southwest in Austin at the

Long Center for the Performing Arts. And I was like, oh, this is real. Very funny. Very funny. Every festival is like, oh, this is real. Very funny. Very funny. Every festival is like the big crank theater. Has she seen the movie? She has seen the movie. Yeah, she has.

She wants to marry it. Yeah. She wants to marry it. Now she likes me. No, she has seen it. Yeah. And we've, you know, I mean, stayed in touch

as much as people in that situation stay in touch. It's basically I hate her and we don't talk that much. But, yeah, I mean, she understands where the project went. My point never was to, like, demonize her necessarily because I took very personal things that she told me in confidence and made it everybody's business. Which, you know, has kind of been the way that I've attacked a lot of my insecurities since I was a kid. And that's really what the film became about, for me and I think just

through the process. But it's about embracing your insecurities. And like, if I'm the first one to say that you know, my penis isn't that big, and then if somebody else is like, you've got a small dick! I'm like, that's my material, asshole. I made a movie about it. So, can it. I'm uncomfortable with the use of material, asshole. I made a movie about it. So, can it. I'm uncomfortable with the use of dick

and asshole. If you could spread them apart a little bit next time. We prefer baby caves. Baby cave and man stick. We could use that. Hiking with my man stick and find a baby cave. That's the thing about

podcasting. It's pretty amazing in terms of free speech and being able to say whatever you want. Our buddy, you've been on the show before, Michael, because Jeff Garland called you from an episode in Los Angeles just to try to get you to say

my dad. Because when Jeff Garland name-dropped your name the Pete Holmes would not stop saying my dad over and over and over again so then Jeff quietly got on the phone and got you on the line and then you said it you did it for us my best Midwestern accent but you have it you're not familiar with like all the all the games and the things that go on here? No. Okay. So we'll talk you through it.

I've been on Jeff's podcast, which was great, actually. Oh, yeah. In Conversation With? Yeah. Yeah. That's an interesting title for Jeff Garland to be throwing around. If I did that, it would be In Monologue With. If I did that, it would be in monologue with.

But we love Jeff, and we're sad that he's not here, but happy that he's on a TV show. He's got a TV show, and that's why he's not here. And I ran into his lovely wife, Marla, today. She said she was going to come. Is she here? Fucking liar. She's got the kids with her. And it's full. You know, she probably couldn't get in.

People are leaving. You guys are good, right, for like, you don't have another movie to get to or anything. Hey, Doug, can you speed this up? There's a 1005 we want to check out down the street. We're going to do a little midnight movie.

Yeah, well, they might want to see a midnight movie. Are we really going to do three hours of this shit? You know, I don't know what's going to happen. I get really comfortable when I'm in the mitten. He's smitten with the mitten. But I do love everything that Michael Moore has done for this city with the adding... Yeah, just adding...

Where else in the world is somebody building a single-screen movie theater just from scratch and going, this is just going to have one screen in it, and it's going to be awesome, and on the bay, and it's called the Bijou, and it opened Monday night with Spectacular Now, which I'm dying to see. How many of the movies...

You can't see everything, obviously, but how much of it do you... I see everything. Really? I won't book a movie at the State of the Bijou that I haven't seen. I just don't want to do that. I want every time you go to the movies here

to know you're going to a good movie. And because in L.A. or New York, we can go to screenings and we can see things a month or two or three early. And for the you know, in L.A. or New York, we can go to screenings and we can see things a month or two or three early. And for the film festival, I watch movies all year long and go to film festivals. And I have a setup at home where filmmakers can feed their movie to me over the Internet and I can watch them. And, you know, to pick 100 plus movies, it takes a long time because you're rejecting another 500. And we don't accept submissions.

So we're just looking. Deb and I are always looking for things we hear about. Things that look interesting. And because if we took submissions like Sundance we'd get 8,000 films sent to them. We could never handle that.

So you don't need to actually watch anything during the festival. You just run around and introduce stuff. No, because usually I've just seen them on my big screen TV. Oh, you want to see it with it. I love seeing these movies with packed houses. It's so much fun. My definition of a movie is it's not a movie if you watch it on a computer screen or a television screen or an iPhone.

I don't know what to call those things, but Lawrence of Arabia on the iPhone is not Lawrence of Arabia. So, I mean, it's a version of it. It's like when the post office issued the Mona Lisa stamp. That was the Mona Lisa on the stamp, but it's not the Mona Lisa. It's just a stamp version of the Mona Lisa stamp. That was the Mona Lisa on the stamp, but it's not the Mona Lisa. It's just a stamp version of the Mona Lisa. So, no, I have already watched a couple of films today that I've already seen.

I got to see them at the State Theater and at the Bijon. Oh, man, a whole different experience with 200 people, 500 people in the room. And that's a movie. A movie is, and I say this as a filmmaker, that we make these to be shown on that size screen, not this size screen. And I'm not opposed to doing web things. I'm not opposed to doing TV. I've done two TV shows, all for that. But if you're going to make a movie, a movie means it's shown in the dark with strangers. You're sitting there with strangers watching it on a large screen with great sound.

And that's a movie. And so I decided just one day to build my own theater here for the town because I'm so frustrated as a filmmaker because these cinemas suck so bad. The experience of going there is like... You know, there's the nine dollar popcorn you know you usually leave a shoe behind because it's stuck to the floor limping

out of the theater it's it's uh and and and up here we have a lot of golf courses there's a there's a golf course here the design with Jack Nicklaus was a golf course here designed by Arnold Palmer. Another one by Gary Player. And it's like, well, that makes sense, right? I'd want to play on that course. How come filmmakers are never consulted about the venue that we show our art in? It's awesome. That is awesome. And no other artist, no other artist would allow their art out there in front of the public without having some control over the presentation.

Even a stoned out rock band shows up a few hours early to do a sound check, right? They care how this is going to sound. They're not going to just trust the arena. They're going to check this out and get it right. But filmmakers, we finish the film, put it in a DHL box, that's it. And it's just so wrong, and I've had it, and so I just decided I'm going to make

a movie theater the way a filmmaker and Quentin Tarantino purchased the Beverly. Yeah, the new Beverly in Los Angeles. So he's doing it, and other filmmakers now want to, I'm just starting a movement of directors and filmmakers. We're going to build or design or whatever our own theaters

so that people have a chance to see the movies the way we intended you to see them. That's great. And could you keep... Yeah, sure. But could you keep George Lucas out of the loop on that? Could you not involve him? Because he'll figure out a way to fucking, you know, make it some sort of, you know, digital nonsense.

Like a pair of giant glasses. Yeah. Holy shit, you're an imposing figure. Is that Jar Jar Binks? Miss, I like digital. We exist on this show because of digital, right? I mean, we're going to be carried out to your public in ones and zeros. Oh, sure, yeah.

Yeah, but it's pretty low tech. Watching it digitally, I fall asleep more because your brain is having to process more than when it's watching one frame at a time of film. As opposed to your brain scanning all these lines. So I fall asleep more. That's exactly correct. And not just that. You no longer have the flicker from the bulb to the screen.

And we don't notice it. It's very subconscious because it's going 24 frames per second. But that flicker going into your eye means everything in terms of even, I've read something by a psychologist that actually you see the film differently

when it's through the flicker as opposed to the flat, clean, antiseptic, digital way of looking at it. And in the same way that why people still want to buy vinyl, because it does sound different than the iTunes. And so I hope film will come back, but there is no more film. We have 180 films in this festival.

I have one I'm showing on film. One. It's gone. It's just gone. And I don showing on film. One. It's gone. It's just gone. And I don't know what to say. I mean, it's great because it's cheaper for an independent filmmaker to make their film. That's great. I shot a short film 10, 11 years ago on 35, and it cost me 30 grand. I could shoot a feature for that now.

Right. So that's good. But I think the presentation of it should be on film. I think it should. But I'm just howling in the wind at that because it's over. So, a moment of silence. Yeah, there it is. My reasons are different. I just want it on a big screen so that it doesn't look so small.

By comparison, it's much larger. Patrick Mood. Patrick Mood is his name. Thank you. The E is silent in Patrick. What should we do now? Should we talk about like what are you gonna to do? Do you have ideas for things you're going to see here at the festival, Graham? Well, I'm going to see what is it, a band called Dark?

Death. A band called Dark would be racist. It's a band called Death. I've heard about that because doing the Comedy Film Nerds podcast, I have so many fans emailing us saying, you've got to check this movie out or that movie.

I've heard a lot about that film, so I'm definitely going to see that for sure. I'm seeing that tomorrow night. And tomorrow at 6 o'clock in Clinch Park, we're going to be doing a panel on comedy. So if you want to just come out and sit in the park and learn how to become a comedian

you only need the one talking to it's a talking to there's a brief ceremony where you drink a little blood and then you're a comedian it's pretty simple so come on down to that comedy panel yeah if you had a good upbringing

Then it's not for you Okay? So you have a fucked up life I'm actually on that panel too You're on the panel as well? I am, but I don't know if I'm going to go anymore You guys are freaking me out I'm down with the drinking blood

And the director, Brian Spitz He will be on there as well? Yeah, I believe so Is he here? Brian Spitz, the director of Unhung Hero? There he is. There he is. He's clapping for himself. He's there.

He's so excited. Everybody, like when he's standing there like that, these badges with the laminates and everything, they're so big, he just looks like a child waiting to get on a plane. Very large child. Do you have any intentions to see any movies while you're here? I do.

I'm going to try and see as much as possible, but I really would like to see Room 237 and then the midnight screening of The Shining. Yeah, it's fun to see them in close proximity. There's a version of somebody made there's all these theories that if you play The Shining backwards and forwards at the same time, In close proximity. There's a version of somebody made, you know, there's all these theories that if you play the Shining backwards and forwards

at the same time, there's these weird overlaps in the imagery that some people claim Kubrick intended. And so that was another thing I saw at a recent festival was Room 237 with all the theories and then sitting through all of the Shining backwards and forwards at the same time. And

it was interesting, I guess. And you were high for this, right? Is it better backwards or forwards? What's that? Is it better backwards or forwards? Well, it's both happening at the same time, so it's just a weird experience.

It just meets in the middle, and then it goes the other way. It just meets in the middle and then goes the other way. It's very strange, but Room 237, some of the conspiracy theories surrounding The Shining are extremely entertaining. And to be able to then watch The Shining like, what is it, the next night

or the same night? Then to be able to just watch it right away on a big screen. I'd love to see the signing on a big screen. Wait till you see it at the State Theater. I can't wait. You won't sleep for a month. I'm in there alone just making sure it looks okay and everything and it's dark and it was very creepy actually. It's a hundred year old theater.

I have to go to Pittsburgh on Friday morning unfortunately. I love Pittsburgh, but it was just a scheduling thing. Next year, I would come for this entire festival because I can't believe how many things I want to see, how nice everybody is.

It's just perfect. Well, please do that. I actually would like this to become a tradition here at the festival. Yeah, and if you come in from out of town, I believe the entire time you're here, your health care is free. That is correct. That's true. The closer you get to Canada, the better the perks are and the nicer the people are, right? Friendly.

It's a clean town. it's very Canadian-like, but without their attitude. I hate that Canadian attitude. Sends that Canadian edge. They refuse to carry a gun, for one thing. What's up with that? Yeah, how dare they? That is so lame.

what's up with that? how dare they that is so lame I actually this festival, a few of your awesome pics I've actually seen already I saw Fruitvale Station recently and that movie is just devastating

it really upset me I think the only film this year I walked out of at the end in tears, it's the, I think the only film this year I've walked out of at the end and in tears. Yeah. And it's a, you know, true story

set at the BART station in Oakland, California. The filmmaker, first time filmmaker from Detroit for Fruitvale Station. Oh, good.

Nice. It's a, it's a really, you guys have to see it. What else have you seen that we're showing? I wrote it down even just to make sure that I would get it right. Today I saw...

I was talking about it earlier. Blackfish, which is just mind-blowing how evil SeaWorld is. And I saw No, which is... It's kind of a more indie Argo kind of a little bit. Or Mad Men under Pinochet. Yeah. The TV show Mad Men. Yeah, it was like the movie proves that advertising can actually be used for good.

The advertising tricks they use in the movie actually run a successful campaign. So that's an exciting movie. And then I saw that crazy-ass movie Superstar about a guy who just is suddenly really famous and he doesn't know why. He's like Memento

without the tattoos. Right. He's just an average Joe. All of a sudden paparazzi show up on his doorstep and there's news stories done on him. He works in some... I don't know. Not a factory, paparazzi show up on his doorstep, and there's news stories done on him. He works in some, I don't know, not a factory, but he's just a working guy. Oh, I saw the trailer for that. That movie looks hilarious.

It's great. It's great. And pretty much anything French or Norwegian I have found is going to be a winner. When I pop it in or look at it, it will go to a screening of it. I don't know why that is. I mean, well, I guess the French, we know, make great films, but the Norwegians have, I mean, nobody pays much attention to the Norwegians,

but the last five years, they've made some great films. What's the, do you have an example that's playing this weekend? A Norwegian film? Yeah. Contiki? Oh, I'm going to see that tomorrow, I think. Oh, well, again, again, is that the State Theater, or is it the... I think so. Yeah, that's the place, yeah. That's an incredible film, nominated for the Oscars this year for Best Foreign Film.

And actually, I tried to get a version of the Contiki, the raft, with a little hut on it, to come floating into the bay here. Such a showman. That's a request only Michael Moore can make. Literally, it's all going on 10 o'clock right now. Right now, there's a tall ship pulling up to the six-story screen in the open space.

Pirates are jumping off it with swords for Pirates of the Caribbean. They're going to actually attack this city, you guys. Hold on to your baby caves. You know, it's a fun idea hiring people to be pirates,

but you don't know these guys. They may seize an opportunity. I personally did not vet the pirates. That's true. Now you've got me worried. Because what if the swords aren't aluminum foil? What if they're crazy? What if they're just out of their minds?

Just a bunch of homeless guys. Now that we think of it, they were really authentic at the audition, now that I think of it. He brought his own sword. Yeah, they came in ready to... They sailed in from Gron. Local joke? Local joke? That was a local joke?

I'd rather save big money at Menards. Yeah, the outdoor screen is showing the first Pirates of the Caribbean, the one, the one you should watch on a big screen outside at night while actual pirates attack. And then what kind of craziness do you have for something like it hot? Are you digging up some bodies? We have a large LGBT community here in Traverse City, and they're going to put on some kind of show, I think. Oh, for reals? That's what I heard, yeah. We have a large LGBT community here in Traverse City,

and they're going to put on some kind of show, I think. For reals? That's what I heard, yeah. That's awesome. Again, I didn't vet this. Everything at your festival to you is just scuttlebutt. I heard a rumor a thing's going to happen. Should be cool.

I actually have a bunch of dudes showing up to my... no never mind it's not important so I got to ask what's gonna happen with Independence Day really the screen gonna get blown up we're gonna blow up J&S burgers I guess I don't know no they, they were actually good burgers. You bummed out the crowd. Because they're the good burgers in town. The Midwestern, those are nice burgers, Michael. Don't do that now.

I went there in high school. If I had said we're going to blow up Moomer's ice cream, there'd be a big boo. But if I said we're going to blow up Moomer's ice cream, there'd be a big boo. But if I said we were going to blow up the Dairy Queen... Boo! Not an enthusiastic yay, though. You can just kind of blow it up. We don't blow things up here.

It's just the way it is. Can I try one, though? We're going to blow up Sally's Crochet Shop. You're just picking stuff on Front Street? Is that what you're doing? We're going to blow up the 7-Eleven. See, you guys like convenience.

You're not keeping it all local when you need something at 3 a.m. It's not a lot of good shopping downtown here at 3 a.m. I think Sally's Crochet is open all night, though, right? Yeah, that's a 24-hour crochet store, right? Ooh, I'm out of yarn. Or whatever you crochet with. 24-hour crochet.

You can make your own baby cave warmer. Michael Moore, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to make a personal ad that starts off, I'm looking for a warm baby cave. How are we doing on time? Nearby. Thanks, boss. I love that the audience has a representative.

Well, Michigan's a union state. It did sound like the Teamster rep. Yeah, it did. That's their Teamster rep. You're fine. You're fine. Just shut up and talk. That's how nice people around here are, is that the rhetorical questions are being answered

by a different individual each time. It's not one person that won't shut up. It's everybody takes a turn. And that's how long we're going to stay here until everyone has answered one of my rhetorical questions. How does that sound? Too many of you answered that one.

It does not count. You have to go individually. Who here thinks a reboot of RoboCop is a good idea? Yeah! have you answered that one? It does not count. You have to go individually. Who here thinks a reboot of RoboCop is a good idea? Idiots. This woman went eeeeww

That's not the reaction I would hear to that. RoboCop reboot. Gross. Maybe she, yeah, she might not have liked the first one. Yeah. But this one's gonna be PG13, you know, to get the Kristen Stewart fans or whatever. Robocop was set in Detroit, but it was filmed in Pittsburgh. They used Pittsburgh to pose as Detroit in the first Robocop. Future crappy Detroit.

It's Pittsburgh. Yeah, because Pittsburgh was... Well... That sounded like five people have those cans you turn over, they go... I don't think... But I don't think they can set this one in Detroit, because RoboCop, he'd be going, like, for blocks,

and there'd be no houses, or no... Just prairie, and deer, and... Shit's pretty deserted in that movie, the original. I just think that it's a shame that they're going to PG-13 it because that's part of the satire. And what makes the first one so great is how horrifyingly violent it is. Unfortunately. But let's do some games, you guys.

Oh, yeah. Let the games begin. Oh. Wait, what movie is that? I'm Traverse City's Rocker. Is that from a movie? What is that? No, it's just I have a throat thing.

Weird. Ricola. throat thing. Where? Marie Colan. So, since two of the guests tonight are new to the show, we'll just try to walk you through this. A lot of people in the audience have brought name tags with them, and they are going to

hold them up for your viewing pleasure now. And what each of you need to do is just go physically take the name tag of the person you'd like to play for tonight. They can win all the prizes in the prize bag, wherever you play for, so it's a great responsibility. But just go, you know, either have them pass it up,

which one you like, or go and physically get it. And while you guys do that, we'll do this. And we're back. Who are you playing for, Graham? I picked, I grabbed this it's a baby, and it says Rosemary Ann's Baby, and it's got a devil

on it, so I pulled this right out of her baby cave. And then in the back, she has the shithead underneath the diaper. I'm not going to read it. I know how the goddamn game's played. Twelve guests at Christmas,

two-time champ, asshole. But I was going to point out that there's a pull tab, and it says pull for shithead. That's an elaborate name tag. What's the name again? Rose Marianne. Marianne.

We'll remember that. Who are you playing for, Patrick? Seth. I'm playing for Seth. And it's Seth Becomes Her. Is the poster. Did he change any of the faces? Or is it the original Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn and Bruce Willis?

I'm kind of disappointed in you, Seth. I feel like you did the minimum. Well, he'd have no... Oh, but he did put a really small penis on Bruce Willis. Oh, yeah. You're a real sweetheart, Seth. I don't know how you knew, Seth. I don't know how you knew who the guest would be tonight.

And Michael, who are you playing for? I'm playing for John. And his thing is, Michael Moore is our man from Flint. I guess you saw that when you came out here, right? Yeah, and that's the James Coburn classic. Yes. And man, I have really slimmed down on this thing. Thank you. Yeah, that's really good when have really slimmed down on this thing. Thank you.

Yeah. That's really good. When they paste your head on the body like that. And I've got three, I got three women here and it's a gun. And I carry a gun too. Your feet are scary long too. That's because I'm, I'm a dancer in this movie. And my martini. Thank you very much. Alright, so that's who everybody's playing for.

This first game we're going to play is a regular game on the show. Graham's played it before, but it doesn't necessarily give him an advantage. It's called ABC Deez Nuts. And it's kind of a spelling and movie title game. We're going to spell out a word. We're going to go down the line. We'll start with Graham since he kind of knows what he's doing. And then we'll go to Patrick and then to Michael.

But each person, I'll tell you the letter you have to name. Name any movie that begins with that letter. So it seems like it would be easy to do. But sometimes you just freeze up and blank out. And I write down a movie ahead of time, so if we mind meld and we say the same movie, then you win the whole game automatically. And if you can't think of a movie, you're out.

Graham, start. Oh, and since I got to see it last night, thank you very much, Michael Moore, for that. Blue Jasmine, which is only playing here and New York and Los Angeles. I got to see it last night, so let's spell out Blue Jasmine. Graham starts with the letter B. Bowling for Columbine. That's the title I wrote down.

I should have started with Michael on that one. That would have been more fun. You probably wouldn't have said your own movie, though, if I said, name a movie that begins with B. What would you have said? A movie that begins with B?

Yeah. Baby Face. Yeah. Nice. And then I'd say, nope, Bowling for Columbine. Wrong. In your face, Michael Moore. Eat it, Michael Moore.

It didn't happen that way. The next letter, Graham, if your letter was L, what would you have said? Love Actually. Yeah, and Graham made a movie called Laughganistan. Oh, Jesus. You've done that to me twice where I would never pick my own film.

Yeah, yeah, I love that you fall for it every time. It's super fun. And then, just for the hell of it, let me just tell you, I picked a lot of movies that, like, Unhung Hero was the you in Blue Jasmine. I'm not going to play that trick on you.

You've already been treated so horribly in your life. You've been through such hardship. It's been rough. Yeah, yeah. I don't know who I feel sadder for today, you or the whales. Well, the whales are huge. You don't have to feel bad for them. But you only need five inches

to get that baby cave a-hubbin'. That's true. Michael, didn't that movie just make you want to just make a ticket sign and go straight to a SeaWorld? Yeah, it's pretty bad. I mean, it really made the Disney

Moshkowitz, it feels that looked like a good place compared to... And I'm not an animal rights person or anything. I mean, if you have eyes I'll eat you. So... Yeah, Disneyland just starts saying,

come to Disneyland. All our animals are robots. We can't hurt our animatronic animals. They like it. They like it. It's a world. Until they take over like Westworld. Remember that movie Westworld? Yes

Love that movie Anyway the rest of the movie Erased is playing here at the festival A Hijacking I'm going to see tomorrow I believe I'm very excited about that And then I threw Sicko in there for the S in Jasmine And then Midnight in Paris Independence Day is playing outside in a couple nights

And then Midnight in Paris, Independence Day is playing outside in a couple nights. And then New York Stories, another Woody Allen movie, was one-third of that. And everything you've always wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask. Those were my choices, and nobody really cares about that. It's insanely anticlimactic when I do that. But let's play the Leonard Maltin game, you guys. Oh, yeah! So Graham gets to go first.

We'll do the same thing again. We'll start with Graham, and then we'll go to Patrick. Graham is like recreating Zach Galifianakis and the baby in The Hangover, but with a pitchfork. Pitchfork? What are those things called? Is Hangover, but with a pitchfork. Pitchfork? What are those things called? Is that right? It's a pitchfork. They're pipe cleaners.

Yes, Patrick, this particular pitchfork is made of pipe cleaners because it's being held by a baby. Grandma's not holding a baby holding an actual pitchfork. I've given a baby a real pitchfork and they're just not to be trusted. You had an actual baby on the show when you did the podcast

at the LA Podcast Festival. That's right. And it was bad. Yeah. So let's not recreate that today. No more real babies. Stop playing with the baby. You knew that was a real baby.

Instead, Graham, what I need you to do in your game show voice is read the rules of the Leonard Maltin game for the guests here today that have never seen the show, or I mean heard the show. This is going to make it only more complicated. And for Michael Moore. We'll see how he picks up on it.

All right. The Leonard Maltin game. This game is played to the style, but name that tune, replacing notes and song titles with actors and film titles. replacing notes and song titles with actors and film titles. After picking a category, players will read clues from Leonard Maltin's review, including the number of names listed by Leonard. Yeah, a lot more. Players must bid how many names they need to name the movie. Names are read from the bottom up with the lowest billed name first.

are read from the bottom up with the lowest billed name first. After each bid, the next player may bid less names or challenge the bidder to name that movie, quote, unquote. If the challenge player correctly names the movie,

they receive a point. If not, then the challenger receives a point. Players may bid negative names. A bid of negative two names indicates that you can provide the name of that film along with the top two actors in the

order listed by Leonard. Once again. Okay, got it? I feel like he might actually be good at this. I have no idea what the fuck he just said. That made it more complicated. As I said the first time I read that,

it's like when you play a board game and everyone just goes, oh, let's just play a fake round and we'll figure it out. And then the guy goes, no, here are the rules. Just roll the dice and dance. And everyone's like glass-eyed, like, oh, just fucking roll the dice. What am I, the shoe?

Just let's go. Do you think you got any of that, Michael? Do you think you... I understood every single word. Outstanding, Michael Moore. You're ready to play the lettered mullet game. Let's just give him the underpants now.

He wins. Congratulations. Congratulations. You're going to wear underwear. This might be the first time the person you're playing for is hoping that you don't win. It's true. Seth, it's you and me, bro. We're going to share this underwear.

Seth doesn't want the underwear. Does Marian want the underwear? She's shaky on it. I think you could talk her into that. What about John? John doesn't want the underwear? She's shaky on it. I think you could talk her into that. What about John? Do you want the underwear, John? John doesn't want the underwear. I think, Marianne, you could talk her into covering up her baby cave with that underwear.

I washed the underwear. Oh, well, forget it. It's just been worn like a billion times before. Don't you hate it when you make one too many trips to the baby cave? No. All right. Make sure you get in a couple more. Alright, Graham, you get to pick a category.

Oh, this is a perfect category for you. In fact, we played it on the last show that you were on. Oh, well then should we not do it? We're going to skip it, that's right. Eileen Brennan, a terrific actress who passed away I believe yesterday, is in a lot

of movies that I enjoy, and so I picked her as a category. Films that feature Eileen Brennan. Or at Matt Picasso on Twitter suggested, Yeti or not, here I come. And that's movies that have a Sasquatch in them.

And at Mrs. Underscore Matt Man suggested, Inconceivable! Which is a nod to Princess Bride that's playing outside here this weekend at the festival. And those are movies with infertile women. Wow! Inconceivable!

Wow! You don't make fun of a woman's baby cave. You just don't do it. Alright, I'll go with um... Uh... I'm gonna go Sasquatch. Okay. That's right.

This is a movie from 2006 that has Sasquatch in it. Oh, don't I get to pick the year? Jesus. Nope. It's just coming right at you. Buckle up for some Sasquatch. Two stars from

Leonard Maltin for this movie. He calls it wacky and he also says one actor is an almost eerie replication of another actor as a child, as a boy. So it's got some sort of flashback, obviously.

And like I said, it's from 2006. And Leonard lists a whopping seven names in the cast of this movie. Graham Elwood, how many names do you think it'll take you to discern the title? I will go... Six. Six. you to discern the title? I will go six. Six. So he just lopped off the one name. He just lopped off the top-billed person.

So you can either bid lower, Patrick, or you can ask Graham to name that movie. Uh, alright. Graham? Graham? All right. Graham. You know, if you say five names,

then you'll get to hear five people that were in the movie. You won't hear the top two build people if Michael challenges you to name it, but he may bid lower. Yeah, so if you say... I'll go five. He says five names. Let's roll the dice. So Michael can either bid four

or challenge our man Patrick here to name it. Name the movie Patrick. He smelled your fear. I watch a lot of Netflix and if it's got two stars, I think it might actually be called Sasquatch. It might be. Let me give you the names.

They are Dave Grohl, Troy Gentile, I want to say. Oh, yeah. Past and future guests on this show, Paul F. Tompkins, and Ronnie James Dio. Hey. And Jason Reed is your last of the five names. That leaves the two top

billed people. Don't say anything if you know you guys. Top two billed people are not listed. I mean, not named. You don't get to know who they are. And the movie's got Sasquatch in it. What do you think it's called? What do I think it's called?

That's the object of the game. Graham read it to you on a little card. Yeah. I just think it's called Sasquatch. Are you sticking with that original guess? I think that's honestly what I think. I've avoided watching that movie a bunch of times on Netflix,

and it sounds... I mean, Ronnie James Dio, that's... This is great. I'd love to see a game show where a contestant pleads their case for their answer. Alex Trebek, hear me out. Defend your answer. No, no, what if it's...

Is it Bigfoot? Okay, you know how this works, kind of, right? You don't get any more guesses. You don't get to just keep guessing movies. Is it Yeti Goes to Summer Camp? Is it... Harry and the Hendersons. This is a game with very strict rules,

and Michael Moore has a point. Is it Wet Hot American Summer? No, the top two names are Kyle Gass and Jack Black. The movie's called Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny. The Pick of Destiny. And John C. Reilly, the great John C. Reilly, is in the Sasquatch costume. That was like my third guess.

Dave Grohl is... After everything... Dave Grohl plays the devil as a baby in the film. Really? Yeah, that's what he looked like. That's what he looked like in that movie. All right, so Michael Moore has a point. And since the challenge was to Patrick,

this is a convoluted part of the game, you guys. That means that Graham gets to go first this time again, but then we'll go to Michael. We'll go second. And Graham gets to pick a this time again, but then we'll go to Michael. We'll go second. And Graham gets to pick a category. Would you like, these are some classic categories now, the Rice Storm,

and that's movies that have weddings in them. So that narrows it down considerably. Like right out of the gate, it's no Michael Moore films. Has there been a wedding in any of your movies? No. No? Golden Shower's playbook.

And that's movies that begin with P. The letter? The letter P. Oh. Yeah, not a person P, but the letter P. Okay. And then, but the third option, interestingly enough, is feminist movement. And that's movies where you can see a woman on a toilet.

You know how in a movie when you see a woman on a toilet, like, that sticks with you? Like, you can name a few of them off the top of your head that's how i felt when i saw this category i was like oh yeah i remember so and so did it in that movie and the other person did in that movie which one of those categories i will go with uh let's go with the rice one the married the wedding one okay Let's go with the rice one, the married, the wedding one. Okay. Did you just laugh at me, Esbane? Interesting choice.

I wish you luck in your survival. Let's not stand on ceremony. That category is lame. He would say lame. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has a wedding in it. The year is 2005. And he says this movie takes place in the D.C. area. And he also says that this movie has fun cameos. And, yeah, as always, the clues aren't terribly helpful.

And he lists 12 names. How many names do you think you can get in, Graham Elwood? Nine. Nine names. Shut down your cell phone. I guess we didn't say that to him before this because it's not a movie. Or someone's got a really small piano. They're very good at it's not a it's not a movie or someone's got a really small piano they're very good at schroeder's here oh is it is it oh it says they're gonna need a really small pianist a small that's the good that's so like sorry

no but there's there's only one member that can play a small piano. I've had enough of your insolence. Play my game. I said nine names. Oh, that's right. That's a long answer you gave. Michael, would you like to bid less names or tell this guy to challenge this gentleman to name it? That was a long answer you gave.

Michael, would you like to bid less names or tell this guy to challenge this gentleman to name it? I just noticed you're wearing a Rambo t-shirt, Graham. Got it at Comic-Con. It's Rambo with a bloody knife for the people. Yeah, right? Oh, you're not as excited about it as I thought you'd be. You guys are like, no, we're not fans of that. We prefer the Chuck Norris movies where he goes to Vietnam, not...

What's the appeal of that shirt to you? What? I'm sorry, I said at the top that these microphones weren't loud enough. Michael, what do you think? I'll try eight names. All right. Patrick? Patrick.

I'm going to go with seven names. Oh. That got Rambo's attention. Don't look at me like that. Patrick, I believe you're going to have to name that movie. I'm going to have to name that movie? Yeah, that's how it goes. Yeah, cool.

Is it Sasquatch? Can I guess that still? Yes, where's how it goes. Yeah, cool. Is it Sasquatch? Can I guess that still? Yes, where Sasquatch gets married. That's correct. It was followed by a sequel, Rambo and Baby Make Three. Right, yes. Here's the movie poster. We're back to back.

Oh, you and the stupid baby? Yeah. Yeah, you need a pitchfork, too, or maybe a martini. I wish we could have had that kind of fun when the real baby was on stage. Instead it just brought the show to a grinding halt. What just happened?

What's on you? He said seven? Yeah, read him the seven names. Oh, you asked him to name it? Yeah. Okay. I got lost in all the baby theatrics. Your seven names are... And this movie has a wedding in a D. Yeah. Okay. I got lost in all the baby theatrics. Your seven names are, and this movie has

a wedding in it, DC area, fun cameos, and the seven names are Rebecca De Mornay, Dwight Yoakam, Henry Gibson, Ron Canada. Is he a porn star? Ron Canada. Is he a porn star? Ron Canada.

He's either that or a weatherman. He's very polite. Let's take a look at the seven-day outlook. Ron Canada here. Why showers in and across the weekend, but you'd be great for the outdoor movies tonight at the festival. Don, Linda, back to you.

Bradley Cooper, Keir O'Donnell, and one more name, right? Seven names, yeah. Yeah, Ellen Albertini Dow. The great Ellen Albertini Dow.

It's tough. Ron Canada's in so many wedding related movies. Which one could it be? Dwight Yoakam. The Ron Canada wedding trilogy. I have the Ron Canada wedding collection. That's a criterion, right?

I watch it constantly. I'm playing on a loop in my head right now. It makes it hard to think. I'm trying to keep them all straight. What's the movie called? Do you know? Do I know? I'm playing on a loop in my head right now. It makes it hard to think. I'm trying to keep them all straight. What's the movie called? Do you know? Do I know? Yeah.

I don't know. Do you want to guess? Wedding Crashers? That's correct. Is it? Thank God for Ron Canada. I would have been screwed. There's not too many game shows where the clue and the answer are both the same word. I would have been screwed.

There's not too many game shows where the clue and the answer are both the same word. I try to keep it really simple for everybody. I tried that on the first question. It didn't work at all. That is true. You did, but it worked out for you eventually. I'm very, very excited for you. Who asked who to name it there?

Graham asked to name it? So that will give Michael gets to go first, and then we'll go to Graham. And Michael and Patrick have a point. Yeah, you each have a point. We're playing to two points, by the way. Did the guy put that on that little card? No, he did not. That's a crucial piece of information.

A lot of talkie on that card without some key stuff. Michael, would you like This Isn't the End, and that's movies that have some sort of scene after all the credits have rolled, or The Artist, which is not silent films. It's actually films about painters. which is not silent films it's actually films about painters or

let's go with I Know What You Did Last and that's someone's final film which is I Know What You Did Last is like a play on I Know What You Did Last Summer and it's an even weirder it's an even weirder threatening note to write that

I Know What You Did Last I Know The Last Thing You Did someone, yeah, someone major involved in the production sure, sure could be a key grip. Might toss a gaffer's name around. The catering guy's last day, so... I can name all the PAs on every movie ever.

I'll try that one. I'll try that one. The last? Yeah. Okay. All right. The year is 1981. Three stars from Leonard from this movie that I'd imagine many people would give more than three stars.

Had someone in their last, I'll go ahead and say it, acting performance. Their last, I'll go ahead and say it, acting performance. And Leonard also says, interesting tidbit, it was remade for television in 2001. What year did it come out again? 1981. 81. Yeah. So then 20 years later, they remade it for television.

That's probably one of the worst clues I've ever given. Yeah. And Leonard lists six names. So how many names do you think it'll take you to figure this one out, Michael? How many? He says four. Hey, use your microphone voice. Four names?

Use your mic, Mike. Yeah, four names. So where does it go to? Me? Does it go to me or? It goes to you challenged last time, Mike. Yeah, four. So where does it go to? Me? Does it go to me or? It goes to you challenged last time, right? Yeah. Yeah.

So you're next. So four names to me. You want me to name it? No, no, no. Not yet. We're debating. It's got to, it'll go to, either Graham will ask you to name it or he'll bid and then it'll go to Patrick. This is a pretty, this is a pretty sexy pose I got going right now, right?

Alex, Pat Sajak never stands like this. But he should. Check out this shank, Vanna. Wow. Check out this shank, Vanna. Wow. Take out the shank. Michael says four names, Graham. I beg of you to say something. Doing Michael more than scary.

For once, I want you to talk. I will say... God dang it. Yeah, he seems confident. I'm terrified. I'm going to say name that movie. Okay. He gets four names,

and this will be for the win and bring us in pretty close on time, so I'd appreciate it. Your four names are William Lanto Dabney Coleman Doug McKeon and Jane Fonda.

And the movie is called Oh, fuck. You got an idea, Michael? Yeah, I know what it is. Oh, okay. It's 9 to 5. You see, this is good. I was going to go 3, but then I knew he'd tell me to name it,

and I was like, could I get it in 3? He didn't tell you to name it so fast. I want to know who died right after they made 9 to 5. Which one of them is dead now? Dolly or Lily or Jane? Jane's alive, Dolly's alive, Dabney's alive.

I mean, some of the smaller roles have probably passed on. Do you know the answer? Who died? It was the person who produced the version of it. No, it was... I love where this is going. Because that answer is actually incorrect. It was the last film of Henry Fonda

and Katharine Hepburn was also... Oh, it's Angolupad. Angolupad, yeah, that's right. Oh, three-way tie! That brings us into a three-way tie. Oh, wow. This is... Well, what a change of events we have here.

You guys are so lucky. And they remade 9 to 5. They did? They remade it for TV. Yeah. It's true. I don't remember themade it for TV. Yeah, it's true. I don't remember them making it for TV on Golden Pond. I don't remember on Golden Pond the TV show.

Tweeted that person, tell them Michael Moore says you're wrong. You're wrong. Do you want me to tweet Leonard Maltin? Yeah. I don't know. Who's Leonard Maltin? I'm just kidding. I'm joking. He's got Twitter.

They won Best Picture that year, right? The year before that was Raging Bull, and the year after that was Gandhi. Right? I thought Gandhi... Do I get any extra points for that? Wasn't Gandhi 83? Gandhi 83? So what was 82?

82 was... Out of Africa? Yeah. Rambo. Rambo. This guy's correct. We have our answer. Richard Crenna won Best Support. Healthy supply of body bags. I'm curious about our golden palm now.

He ain't things to make a billy goat puke. Yeah, I could quote Dick Crenna all goddamn night. Sorry. The man's name was Richard. And on Golden Pond, according to IMDB, because IMDB,

it says here... They say that every time It won the awards It was only nominated for Best Picture It won awards for Henry Fonda won posthumously And Katharine Hepburn won And so did the writer

Ernest Thompson Yeah And it was nominated Jane Fonda was also nominated for Supporting Actress. But anyway. Ron Canada didn't win anything? Wasn't even nominated?

That seems ridiculous. We've got a three-way tie, you guys. Woo! Boom. Boom. This is one hot mitten right now. Who challenged you on that last one? I challenged Michael Okay, so we're going to start with Patrick

And then go to Graham And bless you and the audience Sneezy is here The dwarf I would least want to live with Oh, is that a category? Fucking Sneezy barely covers his nose the dwarf I would least want to live with. Oh, is that a category? He can't fucking sneeze. He barely covers his nose. He just lets it fly every time.

You'd have to stock up on Purell every time you go to town. Patrick, pick a category. Would you like Your Name and Occupation? That's a movie where the title of the movie is someone's name and their occupation. Or Oh, this is a fun one for you.

Failure to Launch. That's movies that include erectile dysfunction. Is that a real thing? Is that for real? That's fine. And just for Graham, we also have Rocky's Horrible Picture Show, and

that's Sylvester Stallone movies that Leonard Maltin gave two stars or less. That's a wide burp. Turns out Sly doesn't have a lot of three or four star movies according to Mr. Maltin. Are you telling me Over the Top didn't get three stars?

It's just got a billion stars. Movie rules. Which one of those would you like to play, Patrick? You know, let's just keep it fun and penis related. So let's go with Failure to Launch. Failure to Launch it is. Yeah, something we can all, you know, relate to. Failure to launch it is. Something we can all relate to. You get to pick the year.

Would you like a movie that had erectile dysfunction in it from 1967? Right? It hadn't even been invented yet. It didn't exist then. You weren't allowed to talk about it. And 1983 is your other choice. 67 and 83.

Well, since I was born in 83. That's perfect. You saw all the movies that year. I did, I did. And someone didn't fail to launch, right? Thanks, Dad. Thanks. Filling up Mom's baby cave with me.

Put that on a t-shirt. Thank you, dad. Put that on a t-shirt and it's just the new that's what she said. She wouldn't say that. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has erectile dysfunction in it.

He calls it entertaining, so the dysfunction didn't bother him. He says also about this movie that a very famous person, their scenes were cut from the film.

Yeah, and Who could that be? And it's got a Oh, this movie has an irresistible soundtrack, and Leonard lists nine names. Who could that be? And it's got a... Oh, this movie has an irresistible soundtrack. And Leonard lists nine names. There's a lady in the front row who says she can do it in one name. I can do it in one name.

But Patrick gets to start the bidding. Yeah. So now... Did I tell you how many names? Nine. Nine. You said nine? Number nine. Yeah, I'll take all nine.

This is the, this is, wow, no woman's ever said that to you. Yeah, she did, Doug. She was just using the metric system. Oh, Canada. I love, that's why I love Canada. Unhung hero tonight at midnight, you guys. Check it out.

Check it out. It's so brutal. Yeah, I will take, let's. Yeah, take the nine. Yeah, take the nine. Then we go to Graham. Give me nine. What do you think, Graham?

I will go seven. Seven names, he says, knowing full well that Michael was already wanting to bid one name. So do you still want to bid one name? No, I'll say six. Wow! Nine to fives got him scared. Smart, yeah. It was just way too arrogant to say I could do it

I think that's excellence in strategery Patrick what are you gonna do with that do you want to go less or challenge him um you know what I'll go five. I'm not going to say it. Graham? Yeah, I'm going to say name that movie. He gets five names? Yeah. I get five names.

All right. Nope, hold. I got it. No, I don't. Here's your five names. I wouldn't have given Michael Moore five names. Don Galloway. Oh, Donnie Gale?

Ooh, my fave. Big D to the G. Remember when him and Ron Canada were supposed to do that buddy comedy? It fell apart. The whole deal just didn't happen. Yeah, and they cut both all their scenes out of the movie. So bad. And it didn't exist anymore.

Oh, shitty. Joe Beth Williams. Oh. Meg Tilly. Mary Kay Place. And Kevin Kline. Jo Beth Williams, Meg Tilly, Mary Kay Place, and Kevin Kline. Everyone in the audience knows what it is.

Every single person that's attending a film festival, coincidentally. Oh, God. This game stinks. It makes me look like an idiot. I do know what it is, so don't feel bad.

The erectile dysfunction thing is now throwing me off because, I don't know. I see people shaking their heads and all I did was make one tiny sound. It's like, oh, no. Wah, hurrah.

Just make, yeah, make a lot of noises until you hit the right start of the word. It's like when you're at a party and there's a girl and you kind of remember, but you don't remember her name. You're just like, Cindy, Cindy, Linda, Linda. Rebecca, Rebecca, Sandy.

Sandy, Sally, Sally, Sally! Can you think of any movie that had erectile dysfunction? Rebecca. Rebecca. Sally. Can you think of any movie that had erectile dysfunction? I mean, I'm just going to go with... Can you think of a movie? I forget of all... Unhooked Hero? That's good. Get a plug for your movie. Let's be clear.

You don't have erectile dysfunction. No, no, I don't. I have a boner right now. It's a terror boner. His sequel's gonna be Four Inches of Fury. Yes, it is. Four and a half, don't be a dick. Stealth boner. Stealth, yeah.

It's inside you before you know it Coming to a baby cave near you Super fast Wow, you guys have really turned out to be quite a comedy team Thank you We're taking this on the road It is, it's the baby

Michael's trying to give me hints too And, and I'm just like an idiot. So, I don't know. A fish called Wanda? They went to the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. I heard through the grapevine. Oh, I did. Oh, I get it. Fish called Wanda, doesn't it?

That's a good choice. He's not old. But that's not correct. I don't think it's that good of a choice. Yeah, the rest of the names are William Hurd, who suffers from erectile dysfunction in the film, and Jeff Goldblum, Glenn Close, Tom Berenger. And they cut out Kevin Costner.

And Kevin Costner's body. And Kevin Costner got cut out of that. That's why I didn't recognize it. The big chill. The big chill. The big chill. And that means that Graham won the game. Oh, yes, it does.

that Graham won the game? Oh, yes, it does! I knew the answer to that, so don't think I knew. I was going to say the Big Chill after Sasquatch, but I was like, this is so close. Marion, do you want your baby back? Ribs? You don't read that shithead.

We don't have to pull for shithead because she won everything. Don't forget the underwear. Yeah, and do you want the underwear? She'll take it. That's my girl. It'd be really fun if you threw it at her, right? Yes, it would.

Wouldn't that be neat? Just put it in the bag. No, no, don't put it near the other thing. Don't touch my hands with it at all. Wow, that was like the opposite of watching Elvis. A guy throwing his underwear at a lady in the crowd.

Look, she likes it. She's a baby. That baby could really take a face plant. And you guys have shitheads written on the back of yours, right? So I'll just take those from you, and then I'll share them with everybody at the end of the show. But before we go, let's plug some stuff, Graham. What do you got to plug?

Yeah, if you come out to Los Angeles for the Los Angeles Podcast Festival, it's October 4 through 6. Doug will be one of 40-some shows we're doing there this year. So go to lapodfest.com. And of course all my tour dates are at grahamelwood.com. Thank you, Traverse City. You guys are awesome. Okay. okay and patrick everywhere can people see uh unhung hero what happens next with it uh unhung hero tonight at midnight and then we have another screening uh oh it's right here in this

very room right saturday at nine right here saturday nine right here on that screen behind here tonight at midnight you guys got a website uh we do have a website yeah if you go online it's uh uh at hung hero movie um and we you can sign up for like our email list all email updates and all that but you can also follow us on twitter and facebook we're there and uh follow my brother he's a super hilarious comedian brian moot cool at moot comedy doing this, man. It was nice to meet you. I can't wait to see your movie. I'm so happy to be here. Please come.

This is just like... It's a dream come true. But in the dream, I win the Leonard Moulton. And Michael Moore, you guys, skipping a live pirate display while watching Pirates of the Caribbean to be here

inside with us tonight. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you very much. For having us here and doing this whole festival, man. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Awesome. Yeah, you know what? Let's have a real quick kind of serious note because I was really touched last night when you opened before the Blue Jasmine about your plan that you put into place here in northern Michigan regarding putting veterans to work.

Could you just tell everyone what that's about? Sure, sure. Here in northern Michigan in the last, well the last, over the last year we've had four or five soldiers come back from Afghanistan and commit suicide and so we thought we've got to do something about this of course what can a movie theater do to, but it's just that these vets are all coming back and any of us who grew up during Vietnam you know the importance of holding our hands and our arms out to them and helping them in any way possible. So I said, why don't we do this? Why don't we stick a sign in the window that says, we hire Iraq and Afghanistan vets,

and the next time we have an opening, we're going to commit to hiring. And then I asked the business community up here if they too would put a sign in the window saying, we hire Iraq and Afghanistan vets. the business community up here, if they too would put a sign in the window saying we hire Iraq and Afghanistan vets. And a month later we had a job opening in our projection booth, a full-time projectionist. And he said I'm only going to hire a veteran. And the lawyer said, you know, you've got to be careful what you say about you're only going to hire. And I said, I'm not going to be careful about anything.

They've got to have jobs when they come back, and they've got to have whatever help we can give them. And so we found a guy here who was in Iraq and Afghanistan and was injured and lives in Interlochen, and he now is our

full-time projectionist at the State Theater, and you'll see him here this week. That's so great. What's his name? What's his name? His name is Billy Heck. H-E-C-K. And we're proud to have him here, and we encourage others who might be listening to this around the country

to please hire veterans. And if you don't own a business, show the love in whatever way you can, no matter how you stood on the war. And I think I might have made my feelings about it known once or twice these are our friends and our neighbors and our fellow Americans and you know with a volunteer army there's no greater no greater sacrifice or gift they one can give you than to say that if necessary I will die so that you don't have to. And

that's, boy, anybody who's willing to do that should be, the road back here should be paved with gold and rose petals along the way. I'd just like to add, I've done seven USO tours over there, and if anyone here in the theater or listening, if you know someone that's kind of suffering from PTSD, go to your local VA. You can also go to iava.org, which is the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, and also the DAV, which is Disabled American Veterans, DAV.org.

So those are some resources for you if you know somebody or you yourself are suffering from PTSD. So you're not alone. That's right. And is there anything you've got coming up, Michael, you want people to know about? New movie? Well, when the festival is over on Monday, you want people to know about a new movie? Well, when the festival's over on Monday, I'm going to do some laundry.

There's a pair of underwear right over there that the head needs clean. And if anybody's got a plane, I'm trying to get a plane for Ed Snowden to get him out of Russia and someplace safe. Oh, we need a real adventurer then.

Well, to me, that's a real patriot who's willing to tell us what our government is up to, which is collecting everybody's phone number and every single person you call. It's just crazy. I don't understand. He shouldn't have to suffer for that. When they say he's aiding the enemy, what are they saying? We're the enemy? The enemy's us,

your fellow Americans? We're not the enemy. This is our country. We have a right to know this. And anybody listening who's saying, well, I don't care if they have my phone number. I'm not doing anything illegal. They can have my phone number anytime they want. Well, that's, yeah, but that's the, you're right. And I feel the same way. I mean, but you give one write-up, then they go for the second one, then they go for the third one, and where does it stop? And whenever somebody says that to me, I say to them, do you have curtains on your bedroom window? Oh, yeah, well, no, I actually have blinds. Oh, okay, well, but you keep them closed, right, when you're in there at night? Oh, yeah, yeah, why?

You're not doing anything wrong. You're not doing anything illegal. You're not doing anything illegal. Why do you got them closed? Why don't I have the right, or the government has the right, to know what's going on in that bedroom if you're not doing anything illegal? Well, the reason why is because you do have the right to privacy. It doesn't have anything to do with being legal or illegal. We have a right to our own space and our own privacy.

That's one of the great things about this country. The founding fathers knew that long before there were ones and zeros in underwear being thrown at women in the front row. Which you have a right to give up your privacy if you want to do that. That is your underwear, man.

Right. So I think, it's how I feel about it. I don't know. It seems like every poll believes that he is not a traitor but actually did something worthwhile and useful and frankly nothing I've ever done has gotten a vote

in Congress six weeks later like we had this week to stop this. There was an actual vote six weeks after he did this. You know how long it takes a bill and everything to get through Congress? There was a vote, and it was 217 to 205. Like, really close. I mean, they kept the Bush-Obama spying plan in place, but still it was so close.

And I thought, wow, that's, man, wouldn't you like to be able to do something that forced Congress to have to take a stand six weeks later it's just that's an amazing lesson in civics and and I applaud him for it and Tom Morello of rage against the machine and myself and a couple of others or you know we'll say we'll put the money together we're just trying to figure out you're trying to make sure we don't get arrested but there's a way to do it because you know he's got a can't fly We're just trying to figure out, trying to make sure we don't get arrested. But there's a way to do it, because he can't fly over here. He's got to fly straight down to Bolivia on the Pacific Ocean without getting into any American airspace. Who's pirates?

Someone in the audience is suggesting pirates, because they think this is still the fun part of the show. We're having a serious discussion ma'am that is the way that we should use the tall ship that just came in yeah yes to the bay here the guys with the aluminum swords well good luck with that and Good luck, buddy. Mostly the skirting the law part, I say good luck to you. You seem determined, so I think you'll figure out. Yeah, I'll find a way.

Because I hope you would do that for me if I was in that situation. If I did something to tell you what your government's up to, but somehow they were trying to arrest me for it, I hope somebody in here had my back. Yeah, of course I would do that for you tonight. Tonight I held this show like 10 minutes for you.

Yeah, I'd do anything for you, man. Tried to make a funny there. What? You mean like when you went to Cuba? Really? Oh, when you went to Cuba. I thought she was insinuating I went to Cuba. No, no, no. In Sicco,

I took some 9-11 first responders who don't have health insurance and are sick from their days they were working there. I took them down and we sailed into Guantanamo Bay to get them some of the free health care that they were given, the inmates at Gitmo, who have European-style health care at Gitmo, and the 9-11 responders had nothing.

So we went in there, and we sailed into the bay to see if the Americans would give their own, the same treatment that they give the terrorists. So. Woo! I'm so scared! Tell us another bedtime story, Uncle Mike. Alright. Well.

Well, there is no terrorist threat. Good night, kids! Now close your blinds and worry illegal okay let me give you don't worry about terrorists kids there's plenty of monsters under the bed let me uh let me call i'll end with this uh we showed contiki here a couple days ago in the festival now this is the story of thor hyadal he wanted to test whether or not the the incas the Peruvians 1,500 years ago could get on a raft and go to Polynesia. And he did this in the 1950s.

And so they have this harrowing journey across the South Pacific, sharks and all kinds of storms and everything, right? And there were two Norwegians in the audience who just happened to be visiting Traverse City. And they came out after the movie on the sidewalk and I was standing out there and they said, Oh, we saw this movie in Norway. I said,

Really? Is it the same movie? And they said, No, no. The American version had more sharks. At first I thought that was kind of funny, right? And then I thought, oh yeah, that's right. They've got our number. We're scared.

Sharks! You know, and it's like, we just look like a bunch of pussies half the time. And, you know, it's, there's always been terrorism. It goes back a few thousand years. There will be 2,000 years from now if the planet's still here. That's not the reason to tear up the Constitution of the United States of America.

If somebody's going to hurt us, if you're going to hurt me or my family or this country, we will fuck you up in the worst way possible. And we won't take eight years like Mr. Bush. We'll take a year and a half like Mr. Obama. We will find you, track you down, and that'll be the end of you. But this is the, why can't we just say that and then get on with our lives and quit being so afraid? The fact that these Norwegians know that we're a bunch of scaredy cats was really insulting to me. But you know, they feel so bad for us. He told me they actually shot every scene in this movie twice.

Once in Norwegian and once in English. So that we, you know, would actually watch it because we won't watch subtitles. Yeah. I watched subtitles today and it was glorious. And oh, that's the other crazy development you have. You have at your theater, the state theater, you have glasses for the hearing impaired that have subtitles in the glasses.

Yeah, but it doesn't look like it's in the glasses. It looks like it's on the screen, but you're wearing glasses. Sony just developed these great glasses where it puts subtitles on the screen, but they're actually on the lens of your glass. But you can't see them on the glass. If you pulled them out or somebody's sitting next to you, you can't see the lines.

I don't know. It's just the most amazing. For the blind, we just installed this system where you just put these earbuds in and they have a little transmitter to the booth. In the booth comes the... All the studios do this now. They hire Anthony Hopkins or some great actor to describe

what you can't see. They won't interrupt the dialogue. The dialogue will stop and then the dialogue will stop, and then Anthony Hopkins will go, the man is gently caressing the woman's hair. That's awesome. I like that. I'm really excited.

Then you have a lot of blind people with erections. That sounds sexier than watching it jealous I'm jealous so thank you for all the innovations and ideas and protests that you're starting

Michael Moore everybody thank you very much thank you and then we we always wrap this thing up Thank you very much. Thank you. And then we always wrap this thing up with a completely frivolous thing where two people get to call anybody they want in the world a shithead, and I have

to say it. Except for a couple religious leaders, I'll say anything. And we got two good ones tonight, and thanks to everybody for coming out tonight. I hope you enjoyed. Thank you, Trevor. Newcomers. How'd it go, people who had never heard the podcast before?

Did you like it? Will you listen to it? No. Now we're spoiled. We only want to see it live because there is a lot of physical humor. As always, I don't know which one to say first. I'm going to just take a shot here. As always,

Amanda Bynes' support system is a shithead. And Robert's wiener is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of Gold is viewing wiener as a shithead.