Doug Loves Movies - Mike Birbiglia, Ben Bailey, Tom Thakkar, Dana Ashbrook and Jacob Sirof guest

Episode Date: April 3, 2017

Live from the Gramercy Theatre in New York, Doug welcomes Mike Birbiglia, Ben Bailey, Tom Thakkar, Dana Ashbrook and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey everybody, today's episode is brought to you in part by Cabbage. If you need flexible, small business financing, Cabbage has the answer. They've created a way for you to get approval right away online or from your phone for up to $100,000. Visit cabbage.com slash Doug. When you qualify, you'll get a $100 Visa gift card. That's cabbage with a K, K-A-B-B-A-G-E dot com slash D-O-U-G, Doug. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by our friends at Squarespace. Whether you need a portfolio to showcase your work,

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There's still not one that he won't see because Doug loves movies I decided to get all high and mighty and have a seat myself. It happens sometimes. There's not, you know, it's just a fact of life. Sometimes in your day, there's not enough stools. Act of life. Sometimes in your day there's not enough stools.

Sometimes you don't sit down enough and just take a moment. Hey, hey, hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. Yes, yes, I love movies. Coming to you once again

from my beloved Gramercy Theater in New York City! All right, first of all, let me just address the Wrestlemania in the room. How many people here tonight pushed through and said fucking F it I some people only want to swear one word per sentence

and they say fucking F it I'm gonna go to Douglas movies even though I wish I was watching Wrestlemania applaud if you're that person thank you for that commitment I appreciate it so much

if there would have been anybody in the world when I added this show, because originally we were going to do a show just tomorrow night, but we added tonight and if anyone had reached out and said dude, Wrestlemania look out, I probably would have went yeah, whatever. And did it anyway

and learned my lesson. So we all did alright. We all did okay. Thank you for everyone for coming, especially those who don't care about Wrestlemania. I appreciate I appreciate that you

decided to not watch the finale of The Walking Dead. Are your phones off? What the fuck is wrong with you? Good luck not getting spoiled on that. Although, who knows? Walking Dead, that's a tricky one. Sometimes it will end on a non-spoiler. Sometimes it will just end, nobody died, and they're gonna continue fighting those

dead people. I don't know if it's a spoiler that joining us just in the audience, that's how hot this show is. Mega celebs. That's some words I wish I'd never said out loud.

Attend when they're not even a guest on the show. Ross Marquand from Walking Dead is here right now. And he has to leave. I'd invite him to be on the show, but he has to leave because he wants to watch the show that he's on. He's like, am I going to live or am I going to die? Like, effects reach that stage where an actor doesn't even know

if a zombie killed him or not. Like, well, that's all CG. I don't know. He could have done it without me. But anyway, I do have five, yes. As soon as I walked out here and saw there was only five chairs, but they did have six microphones, so that was good.

But no chair for me. Although, in the defense of the Gramercy Theater, on occasion I have stood for a lot of the proceedings. You know, but I like to have a chair. I'm glad we worked that out. Because Doug plugs, we're back here tomorrow night. It's not sold out.

So if you had fun tonight, or if you had a terrible time tonight, because tonight, tomorrow night might be awesome. I've often had people say to me, you know, the mix of the guests is very important. I think I've got amazing ones tonight. And tomorrow.

I gotta make sure I connect with the theater because I'm pretty sure there's gonna be no five guests tomorrow. Same number, settle down. Did I mention that it's Sunday, April 2nd, 2017 and that I am stoned? And when I get high, the thing I most want to see is some name tags. Oh, shit.

Izzy Ryder right up front. Saw yours on the internet. Liked it, Izzy Wolfson. Good luck. Jeff Tate's not here tonight. One Andrew over the cuckoo's nest. Holy shit! Izzy Ryder, put it down for a second. I acknowledge you.

Scary Paul, turn around and show everybody your goddamn thing is... It's bleeding! He's got the fucking mask from Scream movies, scary movies. And blood drips down its face?

It doesn't spill everywhere? That's amazing. But you just bought it in a store, right? Oh, yes. Oh my God, you guys, there are a couple of minions in the crowd. There is nothing that I want to put my foot on and crush to death more than a minion. Are they both the same name? Oh, Despicable Matt, excuse me, and Despicable Mary. Good job, you fucking minions. I saw

this one on the internet today, the Andrew Hope one. Your name is Andrew Hope? Yeah, so that's perfect for Star Wars, a new Hope poster. And you got yourself in there, and you got Mark Wahlberg in there, and of course the great Carrie Fisher's in there. And then I'm Obi-Wan, which is a great honor. And also, my facial hair is starting to match his. So that ended up being a good blend. Well, there's a lot of amazing name tags, you guys. And I want to get these guests out here. And I also want your arms.

I don't want your arms to get tired holding them up. But thank you for everything. That guy held us up for a second longer like, you sure you don't want to talk about this one? You sure you don't want to get into that? No, but we might. Because all of you have a pretty decent shot. Because we do have five guests on the stage.

And let me do a few more plugs. I'm going to be back at the Meltdown Comics in L.A. on Sunday, April 9th at 4.20. And also, yeah, right? I can't believe people are still laughing at what time I'm doing this show, 4.20. It's been a minute, dude. Are you a new fan?

Okay. He didn't even answer that one. Am I a new fan? Okay. You didn't even answer that one. Am I a new fan? I'm a person. Tuesday, April 11th at 9 p.m. Is that a funny time to you? Is that a funny time to you? Am I just a funny sayer of times to you?

Like I said, those shows are at Meltdown Comics. And then I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in San Jose, California on Wednesday, April 12th. If you bring name tags, we will play Last Man Stanton. Let's look in the prize bag.

There's this thing. There's this thing that I'm going to reveal when the guests get out here, if I remember to. And then all the stuff in my hotel room laundry bag. A copy of my CD promotional tool, a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, a sippy cup from when I saw Groundhog Day. It's in previews, but I loved it.

Groundhog Day, the musical. A Peacemaker pipe that's only been used once. High Court rolling papers, which are like, that's just going to be not a thing immediately. I mean, not the show. Hopefully High Court will be back for more episodes. But the rolling papers, they just made a bunch of them for a party I went to. And this is a guitar pick from somewhere. People give me stuff and they're like, put it in the prize bag.

I'm like, okay. Like this is 10th Avenue Tea. Has anybody tried this stuff, 10th Avenue Tea? They're not a sponsor of the show. But apparently Matt Walsh, who's an incredibly great guest of the show, and he's on the show Veep. He's one of the original

Upright Citizens Brigade fellas and lady. His wife has something to do with this tea. And so I put one in the prize bag recently because they give it to you when you're on at midnight and I didn't want it. I was like this isn't my sort of thing.

So I put it in the prize bag and then Matt sent me a text saying thanks for mentioning my wife's tea on Doug Lowe's movies. And I was like, you're welcome. You owe me, bitch. I didn't say that, but I said, do you want to come on the show

sometime soon he's not a tough guest to get anyway he's a very nice guy but but he'll be back on the show soon because of that because I said come back on soon and he goes I'm available and that's what he sounds like let's get my guests out here

please welcome to the stage Jacob Seroff, Tom Takar, Ben Bailey Dana Ashbrook and Mike Berbiglia applause hey everybody applause Hey, everybody. All right. I like those signs, Doug.

They were really good signs. A lot of good ones, yeah. Like Dave Hart. Usually my guests don't even watch during that first part, so they don't get a preview of what's to come. But yeah, if it helped you make your selection later, that's going to be great. Let's meet my guests individually,

starting with the only newbie, the only first-time guest on the stage, but a longtime friend of mine. Please welcome Dana Ashbrook, everybody. How's it going, dude? How many years do you think it's been since we last were in person together? It's been a minute, right? 30? No.

Really? That? No. Really? That's crazy. But I'm high, so okay. And Dana, in case you don't recognize him in his baseball cap, but he is

Bobby Briggs from Twin Peaks. All the way through Twin Peaks. Twin Peaks, Fire Walk With Me, and the series, and now the new Twin Peaks on Showtime. 18 episodes starting May 21st. All directed by David Lynch. And written by him.

And written by him. By himself? And Mark. Yeah, the co-creator of the original series. Mark Frost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm so excited about how they're just really going. It's not one of those reboots where they're like,

let's have a bunch of young people that are going to take it over. It is like the original cast all in their original roles. The living ones, anyway. There's a lot of them, yeah. And there's a lot of them. And then in addition to that, every other actor in Hollywood, the rumor is if you send a letter

to David Lynch saying, hi, I'm famous actor so-and-so, I want to be on the show, he'd write back, yeah, that sounds good. That's how it works when I first got on the show. There's like 200... Is his voice in the letter? Yeah.

Well, I know what he sounds like, but 217 speaking roles in the first set of episodes on that show. That's expensive. There's a lot. There's a lot. But you're like one of the fucking main ones. I mean, you're like one of the, seriously, the biggest mean, you're like one of the

seriously the biggest... I couldn't even tell you. Cover of Entertainment Weekly, son! But yeah, so, but Data, before all this Twin Peaks hysteria started, and by hysteria I mean just me being excited about it. He just wrote to me because he

saw I was doing the show here and said he reached out to me on Twitter and was like, hey man, what's going on? It's been a while. Yeah, I just wanted to hang out and have a beer. I didn't know it was going to be like this. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, hang out. Just be on the fucking show, dude. I live

my life on podcasts. It's the only way to get close to Doug now is to actually do something with him. So, unfortunately, you're gonna feel stupid when we get to the movie trivia part. Or you'll be great at it. It's anybody's guess. If it's about

Jaws, maybe I'll be okay. Okay. From then on. I know. I've seen it a lot of times Like I think Robert What's the last name of the little boy Who gets killed by the shark Schneider

I think it's Kintner Something like that They say it a couple times But at least You like Jaws Or Kintner, yeah, something like that. They say it a couple times. I'm going to get killed. All right. But at least you like Jaws. That's neat. I'm a jerk.

I'm good at the jerk. Oh, yeah? Maybe. What's the last name of the little boy who gets eaten by the shark in that one? I don't think the format of the show is you just say what movies you know a lot about. Oh, dude, you haven't been on in a while. That would help me, though. If the only ones you've stuck to those movies. Yeah, Mike, sadly, the show becomes that

on some episodes. Depending on the... I've seen the elf point of it. I just wanted to throw that out there up front. Yeah, I should have told you, Dana. It's going to be the roast of Dana Ashbrook. Backstage, I quoted Twin Peaks to him. He didn't know what I was talking about.

Yeah, no, I know. I'm so screwed in this game right now. This is just the introduction. Yeah, but that, ladies and gentlemen, is Ben Bailey! I'm sorry. What's my name? Ben Bailey!

I hate that you got... Why did you have to say that? There are episodes... Mike, let me explain. There are episodes of this show where people sit in the audience and just scream out Ben Bailey because he started

this shit with this, what's my name? Ben Bailey. I did not start this. People yell it even when you're not here. That's fucking fantastic. That's the only reason I have you back, is there's so many impassioned people

that ruin episodes by screaming your name the whole time. You're the Baba Booey of Doug Loves Cooking. Oh, my God. If I knew what that meant, I would be so offended. So, Ben, I saw you tweeting, and I am very disturbed about this and happy to help out in any way that I can. Wait a minute, you saw me tweeting?

Yes, I saw that you noticed that they're rebooting Cash Cab on the Discovery Network, and it sounds like you're not going to be the host. That's what I'm saying. We got to get behind. We got to do a, that's how it works in this country now. Well, they didn't say,

here's what happened. They didn't say that they were going to do it without me. They just didn't say that they were going to do it with me. And they're stupid. I just want to interject. They're stupid. This just want to interject. They're stupid. This is Mike Birbiglia talking to the Discovery Network.

Wow. Because your premise sucks and your host was a genius. That's how I feel about it. But the premise worked out fine. It didn't completely suck. They did sell it in a lot of markets.

But it's like making Sleepwalk with me without Mike Birbiglia. That's what that would be like. Sure, yeah, yeah, you could do that. I was also trying to introduce him at the same time. Mike Birbiglia, everybody. you could do that. I was also trying to introduce him at the same time. Mike Birbiglia, everybody. I'm just here to support Ben. I feel like that's why we're all here. What do we do?

Do we reach out to our Congress people? What should we... Go straight to Trump. I think we go to Lydia Vasquez. Go straight to Trump with this. I urge you. But how soon are decisions going to be made?

Like how... I don't know. How crucial is it? They didn't say they were going to make it without me. They just didn't specify. I think when the show airs, if you're not on it...

And then the Hollywood reporter was like, they're doing it without Ben Bailey. Oh, they jumped on it. Yeah, that's what happens. And I was like, quick, make a funny video. Everyone's looking.

Oh, so you made a video? No, that was too ambitious, so I just took a picture. Of you in a cab? That's the shortest type of video. Yeah. It's like way back to the origins. It's trying to go back to the roots of film. The guy made a one-friend video.

If you look at it over and over again, it's like a movie. Well, Burbiggs, as we know him on Twitter, is... And probably all social media. You're Burbiggs across the board. I think so, yeah. Yeah, Burbiggs. You're Burbiggs across the board. I think so, yeah. Yeah, Burbiggs.

You, I haven't had a chance to see you in person and talk about it. Your movie, Don't Think Twice, is a goddamn delight. Thank you.

Oh, man. Thank you guys. Yeah. Wrote it, directed it, and starred in it. Played a member of an improv troupe

and had lots of great fancy people in the troupe. Yeah, Keegan and Michael Keegan. You don't need to name them all by name. Gillian Jacobs. One of them. Chris Gethard, Tammy Sager.

One of them will be joining us tomorrow night. Yeah, I was doing a little tease there. Is it you again? It's on 90. Mike will be back tomorrow night. Don't think twice right now. It's 99 cents on iTunes for the week or whatever.

I don't know when that ends. Hopefully this goes up tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. So get it for 99 cents. It's cheaper than a Slipknot album. It's like a extra value mutual. No more excuses not to see it, mom. That was my one excuse.

That or a Slipknot album. I don't know. And to Mike's right, speaking just now. And I hope I get this right. This is a crazy transition in my life. I don't know how it's working out for him. This is huge. This might be breaking news.

Formerly Tom Brady, but now Tom Takar. Hello! That's right. The quarterback for the Patriots decided to change his name. And become a comedian. So, Tom, thank you for being here. I guess we know who's going to win.

How do we... Oh, shit. He was backstage deflating my questions. Oh, shit. So, Tom, at least I can still call you Tom. At least you didn't have to go deep undercover. That's why I didn't change it. Mike wanted me to change it to Alan Brady, and I would have had to change the first name

and go by Alan like some sort of pervert, you know? But Alan Brady is a great character from television. Yeah, that's another problem. You say want. Wanted you to. I had a really strong opinion about it. Begged me, Mike. You were on your knees, screaming.

Tom Takar. Tom Takar. It feels good? It feels very good. Tell them what the spelling is. It's spelled T-H-A-K-K-A-R. Fuck you. I see your faces. It spells just like a Star Trek character would spell it.

You should start an urban act and call it Takar Noir. I am Commander Takar! Takar! Get in Takar! It's not that hard. He's the first person to change their name in show business to something with like 19 consonants.

Hmm. What about Anna Kournikova? I changed it. Why did I change it? Tom Brady. Turns out there's a guy who's directed Rob Schneider films named Tom Brady

and it got in my way. What about Brady Thomas? Ben, do you think I didn't think about this before? Well, I don't know, man. No, I thought about all the alternatives. Would you personally give me a quieter mic, Doug? You son of a bitch.

I said put Ben's on, too. You got a low mic over there, Ben? I feel like I have a low mic. I feel like you're talking when there's a lot of noise going on. It's the short desk. It's like the short desk. It's hard to hear what you're saying when other people are talking and the audience is laughing. I apologize.

People are ordering drinks at the bar. But Tom. Yes. Also, I like your name because it rhymes with Drakon Noir. That's why I changed it, honestly. I wanted to be a perfume for boys. The official cologne of making out

in seventh grade. Yeah. I thought about changing it to Tom Axe, but the car was easier. It was my father's name. He's dead.

He can't be proud of it. The cologne lockers prefer. High school lockers? What? No? All right. You got a lot of movie pride on your arms, sir. I notice.

Maybe not a lot, but a little bit. Because I'm looking at a stormtrooper. It's Jacob Siroff, everybody. What's on your clothes? Is that all Star Wars shit, too? Yeah, it's a Star Wars shirt. It's a Siroff, everybody. What's on your clothes? Is that all Star Wars shit, too? Yeah, it's a Star Wars shirt. It's a Star Wars shirt. Star Wars!

Ben Bailey! Exactly. Exactly. What Star Wars characters are on there? Like a bunch of them. R2? I didn't make it. Yeah.

R2's on there, and Luke, and... Mike's checking I didn't make it. Yeah. R2's on there and Luke. Mike's checking it out. Check it out, Mike. It's nice, right? Yeah. I like it. It's a cute shirt. It's a nice top.

It's official. You're a loser. That was official way before we met. What kind of diagnosis is that, Dr. Birbiglia? But, you say that now, but I'm in talks to host the new Cash Cap. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. How does that work?

But I don't want to jinx it. How does that work? A guy burns you and you go after the person sitting next to him? Mike's very respected in the stand-up community. Hey, listen to this, Mike. Listen to him? Mike's very respected on the stand-up page. Hey, listen to this, Mike. Listen to this, Mike. Cash Cab could suck my dick, Mike.

Yeah. Hey, Ben, Twin Peaks peaked before. How about that? I'm just over here laughing. I'm so sorry. I was trying to get Ben, and it just hit you. I'm just over here laughing I'm so sorry I was trying to get Ben And it just hit you I'm sorry

Please everyone insults a person To your left And not to your right Turn to your left And expose that person's Deepest wound And then fucking shit right at them I'm gonna shit on my divorce It's a new and then fucking shit right out.

I'm going to shit on my divorce? It's a new game every episode here on Good Love Moves. I guess the meter has run out on Ben Bailey. Hey, I'm going to take my case to the high judge. We will bury him in his car. No, but seriously, anything you want from me or my listeners Hey, I'm going to take my case to the high judge. We will bury him in his car. No, but seriously, anything you want from me or my listeners to band together to say, if they're making more cash cab, it should be Ben Bailey as the host. We're in. We'll do it. Thanks, Ben. Much appreciated.

I fully expect to be the fucking host again. And I'll tell you this, if someone else is, you better not run into me on the fucking street, buddy. Because I'm going to open that door and I'm going to rip you right out of that fucking seat. You'll be like, do you want A? What's the answer, A or B? Very carefully remove your microphone

and put it on my shirt. Just jump in the cab and go. Just take over. Did you know this, Doug? Just kidding. Many years ago before you were a comic, you drove a car, right? I was a limo driver.

You were a limo driver. Did you know that? I did not. I thought that was pretty incredible. Here's what I did know. Here's what I did know about Ben. He had to not smoke weed the weekend before his audition for Cash Cab.

That's one thing I learned about Ben because we were hanging out together and he was like, no, I can't do that because I'm about to audition for Cash Cab. And then he fucking got it and I was like, that is the best ever excuse for not smoking weed I've ever heard. I had to take a pee-pee test.

Oh. I passed it. All right. I feel like this show's going to go long. Are you guys all right with that? We got to find out what everybody brought for the prize bag. Let's start with you, Jacob.

Sure. I can't go too long. I've got to meet with the cash cap guys. One of those late night meetings where you're giving them handies? We're really close at this point. I've got a couple little things. I've got this super deluxe button. Super deluxe is

a company in Los Angeles that paid me, by my standards, a decent amount of money to write something. This is all that I have left of that money is this button. So I'm going to give that away. That's why you're in New York working for them? No, no.

I'm in New York working. Is it a different thing? Yeah. What is it? Can you plug it? I'm working on a true TV show called Comedy Knockout that's won a bunch of Emmys

and stuff. Okay. So they work on the show, I think. I assume. I also brought, before that I was writing on a show for Comedy Central called Problematic with Moshe Kasher which is coming out pretty soon. Yeah, that's out soon. Yeah, I think. I assume. I also brought, before that I was writing on a show for Comedy Central called

Problematic with Moshe Kasher, which is coming out pretty soon. Yeah, that's out soon. Yeah, I'm excited about that. And they didn't have any swag when I was there, but I did steal this pack of gum from the craft service table, so I got that. And then I brought this Kylo Ren light-up kind of collectible toothbrush

that makes noises. Oh, neat. Yeah, I know. I tested it. I don't think it's going to work with him. I know you like to do that. It says try me. That's the noise it makes. It's him getting cut with the lights out at the end of the movie. It makes a scratching a microphone noise.

All right, great toy. Yeah, it's a toothbrush, though, so it's healthy. Star Wars characters have a kind of a tendency to not work very well on this show. It's a tradition. You're talking about me? My Star Wars character? No, no, we had R2-D2 on one time. He was a shitty guest. I saw that.

Kept reading messages. He wouldn't say his own name first when he buzzed in on one of the games. Tom, what do you got? I got a few things here. Since Easter's coming up for my Christian friends, I brought an Easter bunny. I can't find...

Ah, there it is. This creepy-ass Easter bunny. And then I brought, for my friends who don't celebrate our Lord and Christ, I brought M&Ms. I also brought... this is a shirt my buddy's mom bought him. He lives in Bed-Stuy.

It says, your hood is not hood enough. He's a white man who lives in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn. And she expected him to walk around with a shirt that said, Your hood is not hooding up. Also, it's gray. It has fluorescent green arms. It's electric green. It says, Hey, fuck me up, please. I would like to be murdered today.

I also brought a Shake Shack shirt that says Brooklyn on it. And two of the greatest films in American history. Spider-Man 3 on Blu-ray. Critics say it's the greatest Spider-Man, I believe. I can't remember if I read that right. And also a film called MXP, Most Extreme Primate. Yeah, that primate is super extreme. It's about a monkey who snowboards,

and you can visibly see them push him down the mountain. It starts... It was given to me... A man named Mike Cronin gave me that. And there's also a part in the beginning because he's been kicked out of... He also was a hockey player

and a skateboarder. And in the beginning of the movie, he's looking through a photo book reminiscing about the other sports he's played, but he got banned because you can't have monkeys play hockey, it turns out. It's a great film. But snowboarding is all right?

Snowboarding is legal now. He basically breaks the rules until they make them. He snowboards until they're like, all right, no more monkeys. He also jumps on the bed in one movie. And then, you know, what the doctor

said about that. Do you guys remember this scene in Star Trek? Taka! Get in taka! That's a Schwarzenegger film that never happened. You know,

Sulu would be great saying your name if you could get a recording of him going, Don't take off. It's very funny. All right, Mike Birbiglia, what do you got for the prize money? All right, I have a late show

with Stephen Colbert tote bag that is authentically used by me. You can tell because there is a pizza grease stain on the front of it. That is real. You can do with that what you choose and then inside it is a Some guy's making a weird whistling noise.

Some guy's hitting on you with his whistle. That's just how he laughs. Was that your phone? It's R2. Oh, shit, he's back. Okay, what else you got, Mike? That dude you're pointing to? Who's making that noise?

It's like this dude in the glasses. Why? She keeps pointing to him. It's him? He's doing the whistling. No. You're whistling the Stephen Colbert theme? Who the fuck even knows

the Stephen Colbert theme? God damn it, Doug. Yours is the only audience that would do something like that. This is the weirdest heckle ever. Joe Rogan would never have this happen. Okay, and then inside is

the deepest blue-ray for Seymour Goodman. Don't think twice. And if you don't get this prize, here, I'm going to throw a few extra. Yeah! You're terrible at that. They all clumped together.

You threw a pile of CDs at people. They all somehow went to the same person. That was crazy. Distribute them. Distribute them, please. Somebody's going to be selling them out front. You threw four DVDs that went to the same people. I just wanted to make sure they went to a white man.

Throw them on this stage, brother. That's like 70% of the crowd. He had a really good shot. I wanted them to go to a stoned white man. Hey, Ben Bailey. Hey, what's up, man? What do you got? I don't have a fucking TV show.

They're offering it to everybody. Apparently everyone here on the whole panel has been offered this show except me. Just kidding. Is this episode of my show a suicide note? I have this note that I want you to post. If I don't come home tonight, baby. No, I'm fucking around.

I have season two of BoJack Horseman. Oh. And something called Lady Dynamite, which looks fucking... Oh, yeah. So good. Good stuff. Look at that.

That's so good. The Bammer. I have a copy of my special. All right. My most recent stand-up special. Good stuff. Ben Bailey live and uncensored. I say bad words.

Oh, it's not called Ben Bailey. I don't have a show. Oh, shit. Well, no. That'll be the next one. I guess. All right. We're going to get you back on there, dude.

You know what you should do? Worst case scenario. I'm totally okay. Rent a car and just smash into the cash cab. Wait, rent a car? Rent a car. Get all the insurance. Why would you take your own car? My

testament to the genius of Ben Bailey, I think. Jesus, man, I never knew. I thought you didn't like me all these years. No, I think part of the genius of it is I've never had an entertaining cab ride. I've literally never. One time, we hit a lady. I swear to God.

It was in Chinatown. We were going onto the Manhattan Bridge. In fairness, it was an Uber. It's a whole different thing. We take a left into a lady who's drunk and he

hits her. And we get out and he's like, you're going to tell her, you're going to tell the cops that it wasn't my fault, right? This is way more exciting than Cash Cap. What are you talking about? They should have Cash Uber.

Pitch that. And I would pick up Muslims or whatever. They don't do that. Well, the first thing I thought when he hit her was one star. You know, like this. I don't want this guy. Of course. Yeah. I don't want this guy. Of course. I don't want this guy working a lot.

Something has to be done. No, but I, no, the cops. Take it to the interweb. It was a weird experience. The cops basically said were very blase. The woman was okay. She got the, you know, the cars that had to go boop, boop,

that have a doctor in them. I love those doctor cars. I'm going to be really good at the movie memory games. It was an ambulance that showed up, and they were very blasé about it. But yeah, and then I told the cops the truth. I told them what happened. But yeah, so anyway, which is all the same.

You were like, I leaned up and put my hands over his eyes. We were playing fun games, and we got carried away. I was in a cab in the middle of the night. I mean, I love cab stories, but you know what I really love, right? I thought that's what we were doing. This is Taxi Cab Confessional, right? The driver hits a parked car.

We also, really, you're going to keep going. That's a pretty good story. No one said anything For like a whole minute Finally he turned around And looked at me With this like really guilty

Look on his face Like And I was like Right here is good Did you give him a tip? Don't run over people Yeah Try not to hit things That aren't even in your Fucking way You idiot Did you give him a tip? Don't run over people. Try not to hit things that aren't even in your fucking way, you idiot.

Oh, he like went out of his way? He drove up on a curb? Yeah, like it was a parked car. It was on the side of the road. Oh, I thought you said he hit a person. Yeah, no, Mike's cab hit a person. Oh, okay. We'll be right back with more cab stories right after this.

What's my name? You know, you'd think at the very least they'd let you host cab talk after each episode of Cash Cab. Talking Cash Cab. A shitty little sideshow. Taxi talk. Here you go.

Cash Cab. Cash Cab. Taxi talk. Here you go. Cash gab. Cash gab. I get it. Dana has the best. Dana Ashbrook has the best thing for the gift bag, in my opinion. Because it's in his pocket, first of all. Lunch with David Lynch. No.

I didn't exactly know how this all went. Exactly how... When you pull this out, people are going to be like, that's the perfect finish to this bag. Better be the cocaine you gave Laura Palmer. Oh, shit. Next best thing.

That's nice. That's how well we work together. Well done. After all these years. Good gift. Yeah, it's a nice little... And it's also plastic, which I didn't know that innovation occurred in small bottles of Tennessee whiskey.

It's a Jack Daniels bottle, you guys. Now, I know you have to be 21 to get in here, but you can get in under 21 if you're with an adult, so please, if you're under 21, drink this responsibly. Someone's going to win all of that tonight, but

first I have a question for everybody on the panel. We'll start with Jacob, because he knows what the question is. Do you want to host Cash Cab? Ben, I didn't mean to bring this up until the end, but it's between the five of you to host the next season of Cash Cab. This is your chance to stay in the game. I like my odds, Doug.

Jacob, what was the last movie you saw? I watched Barton Fink yesterday. Strike one! Sorry, I'm sorry. There's no strikes. Was that in an on-camera? I think he's accurate in what movie was last seen by him.

And you watched it because just a fondness for that movie. Yeah, I love that movie. Actually, I was at a friend's house and they said they had never seen it and they wanted to watch it and I'm always down for Barton Fink, so we watched it.

Yeah, and it holds up and everything? Yeah, it holds up. I mean, I would have liked more like Avengers in it, I guess, but for 1991, it was pretty good. That's all right. OKCupid, always down for

Barton Fink. Barton Fink and chill. If you want a BF, I'm down to BF. Barton Fink. It's a good movie. It's a really good movie. It's a really good movie.

It is. There's like places on fire at one point. Yeah, that's the end of the movie. Yeah. Spoiler! Tom, that's the end of the movie. Yeah. Spoiler! Tom, what was the last movie you've seen, and was it before or after the name change?

Oh, it was long after the name change. Get Out, Doug! That's what I saw. Get Out. You know, I feel like that movie was called Get Out, Doug, because Doug is one of the whiter names. Although, actually, the opposite is true of that movie, now Get Out Doug because Doug is one of the whiter names. Although actually the opposite is true of that movie now that I think of it.

I saw it near here. It was one of the most fun theater experiences I've ever Because there was a lot of yelling out. People were yelling out never trust a white bitch.

It was great. And that was me. Right. And that was pre-credits. I just felt like yelling. That was immediately.

The whole time I was watching that movie, I couldn't help but imagine Chelsea Peretti's parents watching it. Like, does Jordan hate us? I don't... I thought we had a pleasant visit with the young Jordan. Chelsea and Jordan are fucking. I should mention that. They're having a child together.

They're fucking having a child. That's the result, you guys. I know a lot of people who listen to podcasts are lonely. There's going to be a sequel, that means, to Get Out. Get another one out? Get out. Proceed. Get out of my pussy? Alright.

But that's a terrific movie, though, right? It's phenomenal. I hate scary movies. We can agree that it's really good. And it's at a good time. So good. It's the perfect time to hate white people. Right, Mike? Correct, Doug. As a matter of fact, I'd like to speak on this for about 15 minutes.

Mike's got a hot 15 on race. What was the last movie you saw? In its entirety, Get Out, which was covered. And then yesterday, I was in Virginia Beach on tour, and I saw 40 Minutes of Life. Why just 40 Minutes? First of all, Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence, life or? No. That's the only real life.

Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal and a lady who gets billing between the two of them, Rebecca Ferguson. I liked the movie quite a bit, but I didn't have a lot of time. You couldn't spend a life on it, is what you're saying. You don't even need to finish it. When you die, it flashes before your eyes. I heard.

Life. God damn it, I thought that was really funny. All of these jokes about misunderstanding the title of the movie I saw are killing. I think life tastes great. And I love when I spin the little... There's so many fucking things called life. I look forward to seeing the end of it.

I didn't have a lot of time. What's the meaning of it? I popped into it. I will say the eventful thing from the theater experience is that during the trailers, the guy next to me

when there was a, there's a new mummy movie apparently. Yeah, Tom Cruise in the mummy. Yeah. And there's like a pretty lady. The guy in the audience went, what?

They're rebooting it. Brendan Fraser's out. Tom Cruise is in. And the trailer is 90% plane crash. If there's not a great plane crash in a mummy movie, it's not a fucking mummy movie. But I think it's like a pretty lady who's the mummy or something like that. Is it? Well, or there's a woman in the

trailer who's pretty and then the guy next to me I've never experienced this before looked at me during the trailers! A stranger looked at me and goes, she hot.

And I don't know how you get to that point of comfortability with yourself that you can just throw that out there to the world. Well, she is. She is very hot. She's gorgeous.

She's gorgeous, especially in the mummy makeup. Did you leave them hanging or did you... I just confirmed. Which is my response to everything. I'd like to wrap her up. So... But what you saw of life, was it alright? It looked very good.

The movie seemed to have a lot of prospects. No, it really did. Did anyone run across that? Did anybody see Life? It's not doing great. Did you like it? Eh. Yeah, yeah.

Eh. I mean, yeah. She's Jewish. I mean, she loved it. Yeah. Eh is shorthand for people who are too lazy to say meh. But I liked it. I look forward to seeing the end.

All right. Ben, what'd you see? You're going to watch it again? Yeah, I'm going to go to the theater. He's going to seeing the end alright Ben what'd you see? you're gonna watch it again yeah I'm gonna go he's gonna watch the whole thing sometimes you're gonna see the whole thing yeah alright

sounds like he was intrigued by what he saw yeah the movie I most recently saw was an old classic favorite of mine called Being There oh that is a good one

excellent yeah it happened to be on cable so yeah I recorded it that's a terrific one Chauncey Gard I happen to be on cable, so I recorded it. That's a terrific one. Chauncey Gardner.

Chauncey Gardner, yeah. Played by the late, great Peter Sellers in a very understated performance. Shirley MacLaine. Shirley MacLaine was in there, too. Thanks, Dana. Points. Yeah. I saw that one.

That's not how this works, but I'll give you points. Jack Warden. Yeah, great movie. Great movie, doesn't it? What was the last movie? Okay. I really enjoyed it. I'm telling you, everyone that's seen it, agrees with you, and everyone who hasn't is never going to watch it.

It's one of those. It's just in that nether space of if you know about it and you're into it. How could you know that? I just, I have a feeling. All right. Stars, mostly people who are dead or are going to be soon.

Oh, actually, no. Or will live again and again. Yeah, no, but it is a great movie. We're talking about Shirley MacLaine here. The thing I'm obsessed with, I just remembered, is this weekend I binged S-Town, the podcast, which is not a movie, but it's like, you've got to see it. What's S-Town short for?

Shit-town. Okay. And you've got to listen to it, Doug. I think you could just call it Shit-Town. It's honestly pretty incredible, Shit-Town. It's a great, great podcast. Is it the sequel to Urinetown? It has no relation to Urinetown.

It's a prequel. If any Broadway producers are listening, I would like... It's a prequel. If any Broadway producers are listening... It's a prequel. I would like... It's a prequel. If any Broadway producers are listening, I would like there to be a reboot. A revival of Urinetown. Because I never got to see it originally. And everybody

who ever saw it thinks it's amazing. I think it would be called a re-poop. A re-poop. I'd like a re-poop of Urinetown, please. And the check. Dana, what was the last movie you saw? Well, I went to the movies and I saw Kong. The Kong movie.

Kong Skull Island! That one. Yeah, did you have fun with that? Uh, yeah. Right? It was good. It's good, like when Kong rips out the entire innards of the tongue and everything

outside of that one creature. Pretty cool. All the gorilla stuff was great. But I watched today a little bit of Mean Girls. Why did you find yourself watching

Mean Girls? Was it what you show like in the van to get somebody to come I've never seen it and it was on cable never

never seen the whole thing still haven't seen the whole thing did you ever work with Lindsay Lohan for some reason no man dodged that bullet

didn't you god almighty cause you worked with all of them right you worked with Paris Hilton worked with yeah of them, right? You worked with Paris Hilton. We're twins.

Well, one night in. She was nearby while you were making a movie. Yeah. Always right there. Doug, aren't you guys in a movie together, the two of you? Yeah, we're in a movie called Return of the Living Dead Part 2. It's probably in the top 100 zombie movies ever made. Yeah. And Squeak's in there. it's probably in the top hundred zombie movies ever made and

squeaks in there and he is the you know one of the heroes of the story a young man fighting the zombie cable TV repairman and I'm one of many zombies throughout the course of the film I lance you with a

fire poker fireplace poker he sticks me to a wall with it and then they run off. And I'm like, there's other zombies, suckers! Yeah, but it was fun. Is that a real one? It was amazing. No. No, all I say in the movie is, brains!

And I said it. The director of the movie goes, how are you going to say brains? And I'm like, oh, I want to say it like Marvin Martian. And he's like, who? And I was like, I just want to say it like this, brains. And he goes, yeah, that sounds good. So some accidental comedy got into that movie.

You know that you don't have a lot of lines in a movie when you have to ask the director, how should I say it? No, he definitely came to me out of concern. How are you going to say brains? Because it was in the prior movie, it was a really funny joke that the zombies could

talk. Richard Pryor did a zombie movie? In the movie Pryor to Hires,? In the movie Pryor Tires, and then they repeat the joke in our movie, somebody gets a hold of like a police car or ambulance. Fucking CB radio. CB radio. That's how long it was. And they go,

send more cops. Just meaning they want more people's brains to eat. That was when they were like, they were raiding the veterinary clinic too, for animal brains. Yeah, there's a scene where they're just fucking up the pet store.

Eating all the fucking, and that's when, is that when your character, one of the characters loses his shit, like now I've had it with these zombies now that they're eating poodles. Yeah, and I run the guy down. I'm in an ambulance at that time, driving. We've commandeered an ambulance and I run the guy

down and I hit him and he flies backwards into the sign. And that's when I rise up out of frame because of all the fracas and I say, brains. Why do zombies want to eat brains? I don't understand that part of it. Well, because it's a made-up thing

that... I don't understand. Tell me more. Explain it to me. It is weird. The first person was like, what are zombies going to do? They should eat people's brains. That seems nourishing to the undead.

So, thank you for answering that question. But one more thing before we get to the game portion of the show. I'm going to include with the prize bag tonight, this is a first, a name tag from a former episode of the show. I think it might have been New York but I'm not sure I mean if the guy who made this name tag is here please by all means respond and let me know but it's really cool the force Aaron wakens poster with TJ Miller Marc Maron me and who do you guys think this person is right here it's Jim Norton

but doesn't it look also a lot like Ben Bailey I know it's Ben Bailey I know that Jim Norton and Ben Bailey do not look alike but in this one drawing it's got a real Ben Bailey vibe to it. Yeah, I think it's both of us. I think it's a combo,

in case you both showed up. But yeah, so I'm going to put that in the prize bag as well. And this is the part of the show where I say let the games begin! Lots of great name tags to choose from all of my

guests on stage are going to go pick a name tag physically grab it bring it back to your seat and while they do that we'll do this we'll be right back stop yawning today's episode is brought to you in part by Squarespace whatever your next big idea might be count on Squarespace to help you create an eye-catching

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Enter the code Doug to get 10% off your first purchase. Again, that's D-O-U-G at squarespace.com. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by HelloFresh. Whether you're a busy professional couple, a large family that runs at a breakneck pace, or someone who simply wants to start cooking more, HelloFresh makes it easier, faster, and healthier than ever to enjoy the experience of cooking new recipes and eating together at home. to start cooking more. HelloFresh makes it easier, faster, and healthier than ever to enjoy the experience of cooking new recipes and eating together at home. From creating

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All delivered to your doorstep in a special insulated box for free. They sent a box to DLM HQ, and we got to say, HelloFresh is fast, easy, and delicious. For $30 off your first week of deliveries, visit HelloFresh.com and enter the code DOUG30 when you subscribe. All right, we're back. We all got our name tags. Jacob, start us off.

Who are you playing for? Okay, I don't know how to pronounce it. I think it's Kale Umendor. I'm really bummed I got this one. No offense, because I know you from Twitter and stuff. But it's like German, and it's really offensive to my Judaism and stuff. It's like some German Star Wars, because I feel like it was done to fuck with me. I don't know.

You guys are pro-Nazi crowd, I guess. That's probably the least bad thing that's happened to Jewish people. I don't mean the Holocaust. No, I'm saying that. This poster. A German Star Wars poster. A German Star Wars poster.

Let's get on the record. Never did anything to the Jews. And now you've chosen it. So we'll see what happens. You're a denier. Well, yeah. It's a girl named Kale who I'm friends with on social media

she's a big fan of the show oh there you go well that's a nice pick then it's a good pick and I'm on it yeah alright I'm for some reason

she put me in a shower but that's I don't know why what? it's a fucking holocaust joke it landed okay it's oven the expression's oven I'm gonna get a lot of tweets about it alright What? It's a fucking Holocaust joke. It landed.

Okay. It's oven. The expression's oven. I'm going to get a lot of tweets about it. All right. Who are you playing for, Tom? To Carr? I am playing for someone named Kristen who made this cool

The Nightmare Before Kristen poster. I love it. Isn't that cool? It's very creative, yeah. Very cool. Kristen's right over there. Yeah, isn't this sick? No Jews. Kristen's right over there. No Jews died in that one.

I don't think any... I think that might be a Jew. I don't know. He's got like a devilish... Did you point to the character with the devious smile and say that might be a Jew? I did. I don't know. I'm just guessing up here, man. It's Easter soon. This is the...

That's a good one. Actually, I was played by a Jew. It's played by Paul Rubens, that character, in the movie. Hell yeah. I really like it. Jew much information. Who are you playing for, Mike? Rogue Katie, who knitted a Death Star.

Yeah, she fucking knitted a Death Star. In honor of our President of the United States and his administration. I think that was her. Yeah, I think that's why she did that. But it's beautiful. It's beautiful. It's amazing. Really well done.

I mean, when, someone picked it. It really had to be chosen. A lot of K80 Freeman, Katie Freeman, on Twitter has ended up on stage because she knits these incredible movie-themed things. Yeah, so thank you, Katie. You're not into WrestleMania? Okay. If the Death Star loses tonight, will it be back tomorrow night? No? Okay. She the Death Star loses tonight,

will it be back tomorrow night? No? Okay, she can't make it tomorrow night, so it's all on you tonight, Mike. All right.

Yeah. Have you won before? She's won the prize bag before. What? So don't worry about it, Mike. Throw it.

Take a dive. Just do your best, Mike. Try my best. Who are you playing for, Ben? I'm playing for Spence and Spankability. It's interesting that they changed Spenceability.

Apparently it's a Jane Austen joint. But he just put me and Rob Cantrell on there. So funny. Starring Pope Spencer, There's no Ben Bailey? Rob Cantrell and Doug. Starring Pope Spencer, Rob Cantrell, and Doug Benson. Somebody had the Ben Credible Hulk,

but I don't want to judge you, but it looked a little bit last minute. That is so funny. This, somebody has a printer and Photoshop. This guy was like Mr. Blurred and Parker. I'm glad that you really honor craftsmanship over vanity. You mean it hasn't been about

how much time was put in? That's one way to judge it? I don't tell people how to choose. No, it's not the whole thing. Who told you that? Nobody. Dana, what do you got? Wait, hold on. There's also a bottle of Jack here. Oh, now we understand.

This is the real reason that I chose it. There's a tiny bottle of Jack. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but I think we should all pass this around. We should all do a little bit of it? Yeah, well, I'll just make a little bit of the... Okay, crack it open. What do you think? Yeah, sure, crack it open. Dana, what do you got?

I have, uh... Use your microphone voice. I have, uh... He's been out of the game for 25 years. That's what I say to actors on the show all the time. The comedians, like, won't stop using their microphone voice. Um, Army of K-Penis? Is it KP?

Is that your name? KP, yeah. Army of Darkness, but changed to K-Penis. K-Penis. Yeah, K-Penis. I get it. Kind of. I don't really know anything else, but that's what I got.

And I'm playing for her, so she's probably not going to win. What's the weirdest short, few-word direction you ever got from David Lynch? If you can think of one. I probably know more about your Twin Peaks experience than you do. Maybe I can just answer for you. You know, he uses a lot of the dreamy stuff. So it's like a dream

or like a wind. So what would he tell you? Most of the stuff that I did with Machen was a lot of kissing stuff. So he would give us a like I'd say 1 to 10, 10 being the hottest kiss how would you like this one to be?

And he'd always like say 11! I was just like okay god damn it That makes a lot of sense when people make out in his movies and TV shows they fucking make out it is fucking sloppy

What's 11? Like you finger her or something? Alright, he can't answer that. Kidding. I know that's a 9. It's very strict what he can talk about. We can't talk about the new season. With the new show coming up he can't speak

on it, unfortunately. Oh, okay. But Eddie Vedder's on it. Eddie Vedder's on the new season. That's the most fascinating part. You know Eddie Vedder's on the new season? Yeah, and a lot of Michael Cera and a bunch of... Trent Reznor. Anyone who sent a letter to David Lynch saying,

I want to be on it, he gave him a scene or something. And it sounds incredible. I can't wait to see it. Turn the page. Here we go. We're going to start with a game called Argo Fack Yourself. I'll tell you something about that, Jack Daniels.

It warms up your insides. Sure does. For those of you listening at home, we passed it and everyone took a little bit and then Doug polished it off. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I never even saw it. It was like one shot that we all shared.

I thought we were all sharing it. I thought that was the deal that we all made. You didn't get any? He didn't get any. Let me spit something in your mouth like you're a baby bird. Alicia Silverstein. David Lynch would fucking love that. There really is a little bit left.

Oh, there is some, yeah. But it's very little. This has probably been in Doug's mouth. It's very little. Just do that amount. Oh, shit. Come on! I would have drank that. That was mostly

bong resin after Doug was done with it. All right. There you go. You know how... I love that we passed it back empty.

You guys know... Why are we doing this? You guys know IMDB, right? I know you are. IMDB, that's true, but the website has frequently asked questions

that come in about a particular title and they list them and then they try to answer the questions. So I'm going to say the frequently asked questions for a motion picture. And you guys can guess as often as you like. The first person who guesses the correct title, the correct full title, wins

this particular game. And Dana, just so you know, the first couple of games don't matter at all. You just gotta turn it on at the end. Okay. Like an 11. Yeah, get it to 11 at the end.

I know what that means. Don't kiss me. Look out. Here's the first question about this movie. People want to know on IMDb. What is the significance of the ring? Lord of the Rings. No.

The ring. Sleepwalk with me. No, no, no. Rocky. Yes, it was a good guess. Rocky? No. Come on, The Ring?

Nobody? The Ring? Wait, did you just say that? God damn it. Sorry. It's not The Ring. It was a boxing ring joke. No one.

No one. You can guess as many times as you want. Unreal. Well, but why would someone ask what's the significance of the ring in a boxing movie? The significance is that's where the event takes place. That's why it's a joke. What kind of dumbass? What kind of dumbass?

To be totally serious all the time? Jesus. This podcast is so serious. Twin Peaks by Wapiti. That is correct. It was made out of the Form With Me. That is correct. It was made out of the Formica table. That's a significance.

Oh, son of a... Wait, that's a movie song. You see what happens when you joke around bad? You miss the opportunity to answer. With this ring, I be wed, motherfuckers. That's from the movie. You guys are not good Twin Peaks fans, I guess. That's what I said to my wife. My wife. With this ring, I guess. That's what I said to my wife. My wife!

With this ring, I'd be wet, motherfuckers. That part, I ripped that part. You saw the paper at the minute. Yeah. The next question was, what does the monkey say at the end of the film? Grandma's boy. Correct. It says, let's go snowboarding.

Oh, is it the same movie? And then maybe you can answer this one, Dana. Why do so many characters from the TV show not appear in the film? You're in the film. You fucking murder somebody in the film. Why aren't there more characters? That's a question on IMDb.

I'm not attacking you or anything. I'm not saying, why are you the only one? Did you fucking do something? It was a prequel. And so there was only, like, there was a second part. Oh, it's only so many people could play younger.

Also, most of those characters shot scenes that were cut. Oh. Nice. And that David Lynch said that people would see someday

and they still haven't surfaced, I think. Yeah, we're waiting on that cut. Yeah. Haven't seen it. We've read online the script for those scenes. Like when David, David Bowie's character in Buenos Aires and stuff on that cut. Yeah. Haven't seen it. We've read online the script for those scenes.

Like when David Bowie's character in Buenos Aires and stuff like that. All right. Right, Dana? The man who shit his pants or whatever. This is the part I actually used to subscribe to the Twinkies fanzine wrapped in plastic in the early 90s. Wow. I didn't subscribe. I worked at Tower Records and I stole a copy every month.

This podcast is starting to feel like a Reddit thread. You've never been on with me before, Mike. I bring that on. I was about to top I was going to top Jacob by saying I fucked

the log lady. But then I thought that's not going to top him. I don't know what a Reddit thread is. That's going to be terrible. That was fucking top him. I don't know what a Reddit thread is. That's going to be terrible. That was fucking funny anyway. You don't know what Reddit is? Nope.

It's where losers hang out. It's where they're hotly debating whether or not you should be the host of Cash Cap. I guarantee you there's a Reddit thread about whether Ben Bailey should be the host of Cash Cap. And I just got closer to the gig. Oh my god, is there time for anything else? What is happening? Holy shit. Doug just looked at how long we've been going

people at home can the crowd fill more Jack Daniels up here please that was a good call putting the booze right on your name tags I gotta say that that is what won out in the end Jacob won the first game that only means that he gets to go first in the next game

and it's a little game called Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau Game. Here we go, John. This is a game where you go one at a time. We'll start with Jacob and move down the line, and then with each round, we'll adjust one so everybody

gets a chance to go first. Because basically the idea is I'm going to name an actor or actress, and then to go first. Because basically the idea is I'm going to name an actor or actress and then Jacob goes first. He names a movie they think is in their top three movies, domestic, all-time, box office, adjusted for inflation,

according to boxofficemojo.com. Oh my God. So in other words, I will name a movie and then you I mean, I will name an actor I will name an actor and you name a movie you think of that was popular and successful.

This is literally the worst game that I could play because I always hate the movies that people make that make them money. Well, yeah, just remember those movies. When I say the name of an actor, go, which movie of theirs did I hate the most?

And then say that, and you have a good shot at winning. Pop it! Alright, we're also going to need to say the full title, so you probably should stay away from those. You're also going to need to say the full title, so you probably should stay away from those. The person... The person that names the movie

that's their third highest gets one point, second highest, two points. And if you name the number one movie after adjusting for inflation, you get three points. It's easier than it sounds and harder than it looks. That's so true.

It's perfect. It really is. We'll start with Jacob. And we're talking about... Tom is such a dork. He didn't even smoke weed before the show. I never met him. It was so cute, I didn't think it was true,

and then I thought about it. It's true! It's crazy! As a guy with Star Wars tattoos, I don't get to bully many people. My clothes are from Kohl's. You can bully me, dog. I work for Kohl's. The films? I didn't even realize this until now

You have Star Wars tattoos And a Star Wars shirt Over your tattoos You have a Death Star name tag And a Death Star shirt Why are you complaining? That's an amazing radio joke. Oh my god.

Oh my god. If only we were on the radio so people would get it. Put the mic up to your shirt so people can hear it. Is that comfortable to lean on like that and hold? Yeah, it's nice. It's pretty cool, right? Yeah, I just got a guest star under my armpit. It's cool.

Alright. Thanks, Doug. I never would have thought of that. Jacob? Brie Larson? No. What's in her top three? That's all you gotta do to try to guess. Room. He's going her top three? That's all you gotta do to try to guess. Room.

He's going room. Tom Takar? I have no idea for her. Shit. Name something that she's in. I'm gonna guess... You have a shot. Shit.

Brie Larson. I'm gonna go pitch perfect. I don't think she's even in there. She's not in there. But I still think... Give it a chance. You never know. Give it a chance.

Might squeak in there. Mike Verbiglia? I play Brie Larson. How loyal are you going to be right now? What's that? Nothing? I said how loyal are you going to be right now? What's that? Nothing. I said, how loyal are you going to be right now?

I have no idea what that means. It means, are you going to say what I think you're about to say? There's no way anyone could know the correct answer to that question. I apologize for stepping on you. Just say what you were going to say. I played Brie Larson's husband in Trainwreck. That's probably somewhere in there. So that's your answer?

You played her real life husband. Her and her character's husband. He's going Trainwreck. Apparently that's where his head is at just because he's in it. No, but it also made a ton of money. It did well, yes. I don't know if it made as much as room. I think it made more, but it's close.

Settle down, gentlemen. Ben? Another one. Yes? Brie Larson. Dana? Ben, this is your stop I got nothing Twilight

Full title Me? Kong School Island? That's it Alright here we go In first place Worth 3 points 21 Jump Street Okay All right, here we go. Best of luck. In first place, worth three points, 21 Jump Street. Oh, okay.

Yes. Yeah. That made more than Kong. In spot number two, well, Kong's been out for five weeks now, I think, four maybe. But number two, because it is massive, Kong Skull Island.

Two points for Dana. Well done. I just saw it. See, you're killing this dude. It's unpredictable, this game. And then in the third place with a respectable showing of $110 million at the domestic box office.

That's right, Trainwreck starring Mike Birbiglia. Don't stop believing! Congratulations. I was just trying to help you to understand that there were two bigger movies than hers. So you didn't have to do that just because you were in it. And I just called it her movie. I didn't even know.

Yeah. But you're great in that. Good job. And good luck. Moody. I didn't even know. But you're great in that and good job and good luck. We start with of this next round, we go in the same direction, but we start with Tom. So Jacob gets the last shot

at it. That was his chance to get on the board and he blew it. Daniel Radcliffe Okay I'm going to say Harry Potter Harry Potter and the what

That's the tricky part You see Doug Because there's a lot of them there. I'm going to go... I'm going to say number one. I'm going to say Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Okay. Am I right, people?

The audience doesn't agree, but they do not have a thing. Give it inflation. Shut it, audience. The economy has changed since 2002. Don't argue with them. Don't fight with them. All right. I just want to fight them so bad. Don't fight the audience. The economy has changed since 2002. Don't argue with them. Don't fight with them. Alright. I just want to fight them so bad. Don't fight the audience. Tom,

whatever your last name is. Mike? This isn't my field of expertise. No, your field isn't children's magic? No, it is. It's just not cinema based on it. I'm going to go with Harry Potter and the Slippery Nuggets. That's a good one.

That's a good one. That's where he gets too much barbecue sauce at McDonald's. He dips it and it's... They're everywhere. It's the great sequel to the manageable Nuggets. They get slippery after the previous one. All right, Ben? I'm going to go with one of the Harry Potter films, Doug.

The Nuggets is taken. Harry Potter and losing cash cash. All right, I'll give you one of the ones that didn't make

the top three. One of the, no, one of the top three would go with one of the biggest Harry Potter films. All right,

that's a good call. Good call. Dana? The Search for Sirius Black. Oh, that should be. That's great that you

came up with a reference that's not a title. Okay. I'm happy with that. They did wonder where Sirius Black. That's great that you came up with a reference that's not a title. I'm happy with that. They did wonder where Sirius Black was. I feel happy about that. Sirius Black, isn't that what Get Out was going to be called? What's that? It's Harry's uncle.

It used to be Sirius XM, now it's Sirius Black. No, it's a Sirius... It's actually a film about race relations at Hogwarts. It's a serious... It's actually a film about race relations at Hogwarts. It's... Dana, do you have a guess? The prisoner... Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Agatha

is looking for a house. I'm sorry. We lost your sound there. Wait. Your mic's going up. I think it was exactly The Prisoner of Azkaban.

The Prisoner of Azkaban. He said it. He said it. He said it. The Prisoner of Ativan. Alcatraz Ativan.

He got it. He's talking about 47% of the population that movie's about. Jacob. I'm going to go with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2.

Okay. Oh, fuck you Part 2. Okay. Okay, but what's the real name? Somebody came to win. Alright, let's break it down. The ninth highest grossing Harry Potter movie, I mean,

the Daniel Radcliffe movie is Trainwreck. Yeah. Yeah, it turns out the eight Harry Potter movies made more money than Trainwreck. Totally in that fucking movie. But Trainwreck is right there behind all of the Harry Potter movies.

You guys remember, I play the wand. Yeah. Trainwreck is the highest grossing Daniel Radcliffe non-Harry Harry Potter movie. You guys remember, I play the wand. Yeah. Trainwreck is the highest grossing Daniel Radcliffe non-Harry Potter movie. Oh, wait, it is! Yeah. I just remembered he is in the movie.

I totally forgot. In fairness, it's the play within the play. Do you remember it? I did not remember, but I wasn't in the play. Do you remember it? I did not remember, but I wasn't in the movie, so I didn't big time. He plays it in Dog Walker, a film that's playing

that they go on a date to John Cena to see that movie. If it had been Harry Potter and the train wreck, it would have been way up there. All right.

So that was that came in at number nine. Coming in at number three, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. No one came up with that. That's what I said. No, you said you know what you said.

You said Prisoner of Az shit. Tell me the hard truth. Slippery Nuggets. At number two, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. God damn it. So that's two points for Jacob.

Two points for Jacob. Sorry, Jacob. Number one. Number one, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Get fucked! Adjusted for inflation. It's not def Sorcerer's Stone. Adjusted for inflation. Adjusted for inflation. That's what I said. Remember? Remember, audience?

Yep. You may have said that. I'm fired up. Sit down, Brady. It's giving me anxiety. I am so hard right now. This is crazy. I can't believe this. Yeah, you're right. The competition is so hard right now. I've never been I can't believe this. Yeah, you're right. The competition is so hard right now. I've never been

this excited in my life. Not all of us. Can I throw a donut? I saw Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone last night at Radio City Music Hall accompanied by an entire orchestra played the entire soundtrack of the movie. It was amazing

and I'm not here to plug that endeavor, but it's a great way to watch one of those movies. John Williams' score is amazing, and hearing it live is incredible. You're watching the movie, and you almost forget that they're playing it live, and you look down, and there's a whole fucking orchestra there.

It's incredible. It's so good. The next ones, they're going to play, I think they'll do them all eventually. They're going to do Trainwreck next. No. I'm going. September 8th and 9th,

Return of the Living Dead with the full orchestra. No, it's the next Harry Potter, which is Harry Potter and the... The Sorcerer's Tale. Oh, no, wait. No, Chamber of Secrets. Chamber of Secrets. Yeah. Isn't it Prisoner of the End? Psst! Do not, wait. Chamber of Secrets. Is this a prisoner of the...

Do not speak of the Chamber of Secrets! Still a secret, even though it's the second of eight movies. I wanted to plug that because that was a great way to see that if you want to get a ticket to that. Tickets go on sale April 21st. Alright, here we go. This third person.

Can we get the totals going into the last minute? Oh yeah, I like that. A little update. A little recap. Tom has three. All even up,

right? If even up means you're the one with nothing. That's usually what it means. Unfortunately, that's exactly what it means for me, Doug. Because Dana and Jacob are tied with two, and Mike has one, and Ben is here.

Thank you for being here, Ben. Ben Bailey! Yeah! Starting with you, Mike. The films of John Cena it was rigged from day one it's rigged it's rigged It's rigged I know it's

I know it's wrong But train wreck It's gotta be wrong He's gotta be in some wrestling movie I don't know about or something Alright Ben it's Ben's turn Didn't you play his husband in that Ben Just answer the question Ben All right, Ben, it's Ben's turn. Didn't you play his husband in that?

Ben. Just answer the question, Ben. You look like Mark Wahlberg. I hate Mark Wahlberg. This isn't your game show, Ben. Just answer. How come you're not impatient with anyone else? Oh, I'm just... Everybody else plays all night long.

Hey, here's a tip. Pay attention when I'm talking to everybody else. You get to me, you rush me right through. It's not my fault your audience yells my fucking name when I'm not here. This cabbie complains too much. One star. Beeps fired. Do you know any John Cena movies? Yeah.

Okay, say one of them. Okay. The Marine. Okay, say one of them. Okay. The Marine. Okay. Dana, do you know any other movies that John Cena's been in? Nope. See, that's how you play this game. So, Jacob.

My whole turn took like 10 fucking seconds. Oh, you should have seen his. It took less than one. Jacob? It's a gas. Was he in The Expendables? What's that?

Was he in The Expendables? You're asking me or that's your answer? Yes, The Expendables. Of course he was in that. All right, Tom? I feel like he was in a movie called

Ultimate Warrior. I'm going to go with that. Okay. I think I'm thinking of The Marine, but I'm pretty sure Ultimate Warrior. I'm going to go with that. I think I'm thinking of The Marine, but I'm pretty sure Ultimate Warrior is the answer. Finally,

on the board, coming in at number three, The Marine. Ben Bailey! Ben Bailey has one point. Number two, as the hilarious drug dealer from the movie Sisters. He's very funny in that.

But he's also very funny in a movie that Mike Rabiglias seems to be familiar with. Coming in at number one, Trainwreck! My only points! Wow. This is so rigged, I'm pretty sure I see a Russian out there. This is so rigged, I'm pretty sure I see a Russian out there. This is

fucked up. Also, this game doesn't matter. You get to start this round, Ben. Okay. So out of the gate, you get the first shot at naming a movie that might be in the top three of this person.

God, I hope I've heard of them. Please, Amy Schumer. Please, Amy Schumer. Please, Amy Schumer. Please, Amy Schumer. Ron James. Tilda Swinton. Money in the bank. Anything, Ben Bailey?

I hate to rush through you. Shh. Don't tell somebody a lifeline. It's not a thing in this part of the show. It's not even the right show. It's a shout-out. No, we do have lifelines. Oh, you have lifelines on your show?

Sometimes, yes. Not now. Well, why not right now? No, it would be a great time for you to have one, but you do not. I'm going to say Michael Clayton. Okay. She's in that. Yeah, I know. That's why I said it. Dana, what's your top three Tilda Swinton's? Oh, Jesus.

I can't even think of one. That's all right, man. I was afraid it was going to happen. You're already on the board. You're doing good. Um, I, you know, I'll say, I don't even know.

About a boy. Just think of a movie that has a very pale person in it. I know she was like a snowman or something. Yeah, yeah. All right. Jacob? I'm going to like a snowman. Powder. Yeah, yeah. Alright. Jacob? I'm gonna go with Doctor Strange.

Doctor Strange. Shit. Tom? I'm gonna say... Is that how you pronounce your new last name? Tom. Let's change your last name to Strange. Tom.

Let's change your last name to Strange. I want to say we need to talk about Kevin. I know. It's a huge money maker. Huge money maker. Yeah, that's true. Mike? Hey, fuck you!

Dropping the mic. Mike's walking around with a Death Star like he's in the Harlem Grobetrotters. I'm going to drop the Death Star and say train wreck. Alright, coming in at number five. Train wreck. Alright, coming in at number five, train wreck.

No points. You stupid bastards. Number three, she was in a little ditty called Vanilla Sky. Wow. Yeah, and then at number two, Doctor Strange

Two more points for Jacob Brings him to four He's tied with Mike for the lead And then Number one The Chronicles of Narnia The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe The Wardrobe

Fuck That's right Alright The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. He was the wardrobe. Fuck. That's right. All right. Dana gets to go first this next round. I got a tiebreaker ready if we need it. Do you want to just let me go first? No, because you do get to go first in the tiebreaker,

so you're in a sweet spot. Dana, the films of Ezra Miller. What? Is that a joke? There's a dude out there named Ezra Miller. Who's Ezra Miller? He's been in a handful of movies. Heartbreak Ridge. Okay, good guess.

I'm going to go Batman vs. The Bandit of Justice. Okay. That's another good guess. I gonna go Batman vs. The Man of Justice Okay That's another good guess I loved him in Sing I'm gonna go with Sing I don't know Everybody's in Sing Oh yeah there are a lot of voices in that So you thought

Okay I get why but I don't You know what I mean Alright Mike I get why, but I don't. You know what I mean. Alright, Mike. I'm gonna go with Harry Potter. We need the correct title. Harry Potter and the Slippery Nuggets.

Does he know how close he is or is he fucking hurt? What's happening? Ben? Train wreck. Oh, he's in train wreck. He's in train wreck. He is?

Yeah, he's in train wreck with you. He plays your brother.reck. He is? Yeah, he's in Trainwreck with you. He plays your brother. You see? Wait, he is? Fuck! No, he's the guy that, he's the intern at the office that does his wife's interview. Oh, that guy, the British guy?

He's really good. I don't know if he's British, but Ezra Miller. God damn it, Mike. We never did any scenes together, so... Yeah, you're not in the work space with Amy You're with Bree At the old age home and what not So yeah it makes perfect sense

That's what's fun about this I can slip stuff past people in the movie they're even in Because you know you can't know Everything that's going on Ezra Miller He'll remember you. He's really good. He's Flash now in the DC universe. He's Flash.

Oh, okay, great. Good for him. So that's why Jacob guessed how he did. So coming in at number four for him was Trainwreck. It was his fourth highest grossing, so sorry Ben. Oh, I thought that was good. That was mostly just a trap so Mike

wouldn't get points. I'm still happy that I figured it out and he didn't. Number three, that's why it's so funny that you said Harry Potter at all, because he's in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which is the Harry Potter universe. And then...

That's in the Harry Potter universe? His number two. It is. You saw the ads for that and just thought that's just a movie about beasts? Didn't. Yeah.

Didn't see the ads. Yeah, but you've heard the title? Yeah. Okay. Number two. Batman v. Superman. Dawn of Justice. Two more points for Jacob.

And number one, sad to say, Suicide Squad. Wasn't that bad. It's weird. Suicide Squad and Batman v. Superman both made $330 million like one's.9 and one's.1 People hate those movies about equally But they both made a shit ton of money like anyone who's in them

it's their biggest movies But that means that Jacob wins that game Congratulations Jacob Can I celebrate with a Jameson on the rocks please? Great job Doug Yeah, Jameson on the rocks for Jacob. And does anybody else need anything? Anyone else?

I'll drink a beer. What's that? Oh, Ben wants to try a beer. He's like on Cheers. Yeah, the shittiest beer you have, please, for Ben Bailey. American beer. I'll take a vodka soda, too. What is the reason for that?

I'll take a Heineken. Why are you giving me the shittiest beer? What kind of beer do you want? You just said a beer like you're in a sitcom and they don't say what kind of beer they want. I'll have one vodka. Should we use brand names? Right on the air like this? Oh, I don't care. I don't know what kind of beer

they have. Oh, well... What do you have in a bottle? Stella! Oh, he wants Stella because he loves to overact. He's about to yell Stella across the crowd. She got to do it. There you go. Why are you so mad at me?

Bring him a Stella. I seem mad right now? I thought we were friends. I thought we were, but... Bring me in here and you've used me. Turns out you said I was mad at you. Every single time. I can't argue with you.

I know I keep coming back. If you think I'm mad at you, then I must be. I'd like another Tito's and soda, please. Yeah, vodka soda for me, too. I don't know if I said that right. Your shittiest Tito's and soda for Cuck. Shittiest? What does that even mean? It means the worst Tito's and soda you have.

It's going to be bad. Give it to the Star Wars guy. Oh, thank you, Jacob. Look at this. Jacob's a good man. He goes and picks up the drinks. Give it, thank you, Jacob. Just fucking around. Look at this. Jacob's a good man. He goes and picks up the drinks. Give it up for Jacob, everybody. He got a nice can of beer.

And to the bartender, thank you. That might be a regular. I don't know. Is that the Tito's or was that for the... That was regular. That was regular. Doug, you don't want to touch that. That's a regular.

You don't want to drink that trash. I'll slurp it up. I'll get the Tito's. They didn't even do the straw. Dana wanted a Heine up. I'll get the Cheetos. They didn't even need straw. Dana wanted a Heineken. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Dana. Don't just tell them.

That's why you ask what they have. Why are you not drinking? My podcast is just this. We just order drinks. It's really entertaining. It's called Cheers. Doug loves drink orders. Everybody's set.

There you go, Dana. All right, everybody's got a beverage. Because it's time for the final game of the evening. And it's called Last Man Stanton. Fuck yeah, it is. There's a pre-selected audience member that's going to name an actor or an actress and then we are going to take turns

naming movies that that person is in. If you can't think of one you're out. Yeah. It's intense. What time is it? Yeah, no fucking lifelines. We're way over. Oh shit! Yeah, so no lifelines.

We're nine minutes over our allotted time, and the people, the lovely people of the Gramercy Theater want to get home to see the finale of Walking Dead, maybe the finale of Big Little Lies. Maybe they want to get on and watch, is WrestleMania still

something you could watch? Yeah, all that stuff's going on today. Do an episode of Crashing? Yeah, I'm Pete Holmes! Pete Holmes, yeah! Doing DJ! Yeah! Yeah, people who listen to the show love Pete Holmes.

They love how much I don't love Pete Holmes. But I do, on the other hand. He's the West Coast Ben Bailey. Wait. Now Ben's gonna be like, what? I'm as bad as Pete Holmes? You're not. You're not.

You're not. Who the fuck is Pete Holmes? Oh my god. New host of Cash Camp. He's got a show called Crash Camp. I mean Camp Crashing. It's great show.

It's really good. It's on HBO. It's not TV. It's HBO. That's right. So good. Train wreck. Jacob won the last game so he gets to go first So good. Trainwreck. Jacob won the last game, so he gets to go first.

And then we'll flip the order around. Which way were we going last time? Who was next after you? We'll go this way. Jacob, me, Dana, then Ben. You'll be alright. No lifelines.

It might be an actor you know. Who's an actor you know a lot of their films? Dana. Me? Use your mic. I know a lot of Tom Cruise movies. Okay, well maybe the person. I'm kidding.

I do know them, but no one's going to say him. Well, they might. You never know. It's not up to me what they say. Where is bad underscore at underscore this game? It's a lady? No, she moved forward. Oh, you're just next to the dude?

Okay. I thought it was a dude, so I was surprised. All right, what's the dude's name? What's your name, dude? What's your name? Brian, okay. He was just ready to launch into it. He had like a preamble already.

I'm making his Broadway debut! Brian! Just your name! I think I know where you're going, and I like it. Go ahead and say the whole thing. Danny DeVito! Danny DeVito. I'm excited about Danny DeVito.

Me too. Jacob, you get to go first. Sure, I'll do Batman Returns, my favorite. Batman Returns, very good. I gotta get it out of the way early. Twins. Dana, any Danny DeVito film I'll say

Batman What? He just said Batman Returns where he played the penguin Oh so they already said it? Yeah Throw Mama from a Train? Okay good job From the Train What? Wreck Throw Mama from a train? Okay, good job. Throw Mama.

From the train. Wait, what? Wreck. What? What happened? Did Dana get one? Huh? Did Dana... Let's go in this way.

How did we skip? Did we skip somebody? No, is Dana out or did Dana get one? I missed. It's Ben's turn. Yeah, it's Ben's turn. Okay. You said throw Mama from a train?

Dana said throw Mama from a train. Okay, sorry. Just wanted to know. Okay, shit. You know I think this is... I don't know what was happening. All right, Ben. You said throw mom on the train Dana said throw mom on the train Okay shit I don't know what was happening Alright Ben What So to recap Batman Returns

Twins Throw mom on the train Jack the Bear I would have saved that one if I was you. That's strong. You got the support that you need. Mike? Big DeVito fan.

One flew over the coogies net. Yes. Wow. Good one. I bet a nickel. I bet a nickel. Get shorty. Yes. Wow. Good one. I bet a nickel. I bet a nickel. I bet a nickel. Get Shorty. Hey, all right. Get Shorty, man.

He is Shorty. Shorty. He plays Shorty. He is Shorty. He's the titular character. Yeah. That's his real laugh. Hey, get fucked Come on man

People hate my laugh already Jacob I'll do Matilda Matilda I can't believe considering Twins was the prequel Or the first one in this Ill begotten series I can't believe no one snapped up.

Junior. Fuck. Junior. Dana. Good night. Danny DeVito. And good luck. He's in Good Night and Good Luck? No, I think he is.

There are no lifeblocks. You're out of DeVitos? He's out of DeVitos. Hang out, though think he is. There are no lifelines. You're out of DeVitos? I'm not in DeVitos. He's out of DeVitos. All right, dude. Hang out, though, with us. Ben? Some people don't sit around memorizing Danny DeVito movies. I'm not one of those people.

I'm here to play. Ben, go. Ruthless people. I'm here to play. Ben, go. Ruthless people. Yes. Nice pull. Mike? One of my favorite films of all time, the great James L. Brooks film,

Terms of Endearment. Whoa, yeah, that's right. Be cool. He's sitting on Shirley MacLaine in a cowboy hat. Yeah, good one. Be cool. Um, listen, I think

I'm being a reasonable host. Hey, chill out, Doug. You're too high strung, Doug. Be cool is correct. Maybe try a little weenie. Correct on be cool Jacob I don't want to use it this soon Use it man

I'm going to go with the Brian De Palma classic Wise Guys With Joe Piscopo Great movie Some people like that movie The fun trivia fact about that movie It's the reason Goodfellas is called Goodfellas Because the book was called Wise Guys But they made that movie first

So they kind of called the movie Goodfellas Four people love that piece of trivia And it's because they knew it already They were excited to hear something they knew already Yeah, I've always been saying that to my friends It's a total disinterest That whole attitude you're describing is where I live, Doug. You know that.

That's your house. This one's going to get a round of applause because people love this movie. I don't like it almost at all, but people love it. Big Fish. I love that movie. That's what I was saying. Some people really relate to it. I had a great dad.

Alright. That's what I was saying. Some people really relate to it. I had a great dad. All right. Who's next? Is it your turn? Whose turn is it? Oh, I said that. Oh, wait. So, Ben. Ben. Oh, you're out.

Dana's out. But I can't wait to see Twin Peaks on May 21st. We'll plug it every time we go past you. DeVito, man. Come on. Tin Man. Oh, yes. That's right. The thing?

I thought you made that up. Yeah. Tin Man? Tin Man. Oh, okay. Wizard of Oz sequel. Okay, okay. It actually was part of a trilogy, though.

Barry Levinson's Baltimore trilogy. Yeah. Diner. That's enough on that. Tin Man Avalon. Shut up, Jake. Okay. I don't feel like

I'm going to win this round, so I've got to do all the showing off I can do before I'm out. Clearly. Mike. Romancing the Stone. Yes, of course.

Indeed. Where he wooed Emma Stone. It's a really good movie. Tom. What's the worst that could happen? Yes, that's a good one. No one cares. That's a good pull.

Come on. I think that's good. Big shout out to Burbix for keeping me afloat. Right? Jewel of the Nile. He saved your ass with Jewel of the Nile. That's right. I'm going to go with Other People's Money.

Ooh. Back to you Ben That came around quicker than you hoped for Son of a bitch it sure did JFK is always a reasonable guess There's about 35 stars in this Sing is a good guess I'm going to go Trainwreck

Sorry he's not go Trainwreck. Sorry, he's not in Trainwreck. Dave Vettel is the new Danny DeVito. He took that role from Dave. Thanks for playing, Ben. Mike? War of the Roses. Yes!

Indeed, that's a great one. That's what I was going to say. I was saving on to that one. I'm just going to say... Shit. Right? That's tough. Was he in The Idiots? Or The Stupids?

No? I'm out. God damn it. Thumbs out. Fuck. Jacob? Not 100% on this, but it's the JFK of Tim Burton movies, Mars Attacks. Yeah, he's in that. Okay.

He's in Mars Attacks. Good pull. Good pull. You know what else he's in? Because he directed the fucking thing? Hoffa. He did good. Hoffa. Mike?

I think I'm out, but I know for sure he did some biographical films. I can't for the life of me think of what. Documentaries? No, no. Biopics. like kafa but i i think i i i think sadly i'm out that might be it jacob it doesn't matter my nazi won all the prizes right

but do you have one more just to rub it in oh um i mean i feel like as a self-painting Jew, winning for the Nazis is victory enough. But let me think. Do I have another one? I don't know. There's got to be another one. I know there's a million of them.

Don't say it. Not yet, guys. Let me think. There was that one where he was all short and walked in and he was agitated. It's funny, I think that just It's been in a few Louis De Palma films

I mean, I'm going to kick myself when I hear what they say The audience is going to have plenty that we missed But Jacob Seroff is our winner Well done that we missed, but Jacob Seroff is our winner. Well done. Man, I can't believe you didn't wore the roses. I was so shocked. Come get all your stuff, winner. Kale. What's her name? Kale.

She's a big fan of the show. Come on over. Grab this stuff. We'll give you your name tag back. Can I read her shit? Just for me? Congratulations. And what day of the movie

did we miss? Johnny Dangerously. That's a good one. The way you're screaming at me is making me feel bad. Taxi isn't a movie. You stupid.

Dinner with Andre? He's in Space Jam? Oh, yeah. The Lorax. Oh, shit. Deck the halls, that's right. He's in Wiener Dog. That's right. Good call. Wiener Dog. Oh, Katie

got a good shot of Mike holding the Death Star. He's pointing it out. He was in Man on the Moon. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who said he wasn't? He said he was. Yeah, he's in it.

That's what I was thinking of. Wait, but he needed to say Man on the Moon. I believe Mike said biopic We should keep playing No Jacob's the winner But let's start with you Jacob What do you got to plug tonight?

Ben I've been kind of taking a break from stand up I've been writing on some television shows So I'm just going to plug those Problematic with Moshe Kasher starts April 18th on Comedy Central Everybody watch that And everybody watch Comedy Knockout on TruTV The show I've been writing on out here They're both really funny shows

And I'll be doing stand-up sometime in the near future That's Google-able Cool, Tom Takar, what's up with you, dude? I will be headlining Carolines on Broadway, April 30th Please come out to that I'll be at Bridgetown in Portland, May 4th through the 7th And I have a new podcast called Stand By Your Band where we defend shitty music.

Like Fall Out Boy and Barenaked Ladies. I love Fall Out Boy. You do? Come on the pod. Come on now. And I love all the Weezer albums. Yeah, the new Weezer qualifies. And yeah, any shitty band that you love.

Dave Matthews' band is in there. If you want to come on. So if you're into that sort of shit, stand by your band. Also, Girls' Night with Tom Brady. I mean, Tom Chikar. Oh my god, I fucked it up! This army of K-Penis doesn't have a shithead on the back. She's got one?

How can we get in touch? You're just supposed to write it on the back. Alright, it's on its way. That's exciting. Alright. Mike Birbiglia, what do you got coming up, dude? You've got a special on Netflix called Thank God for Jokes.

Thank God for Jokes Thank God for jokes. You can see it right now. And then I'm announcing a fall tour next week. I've never mentioned this before, but it's called The New One. And I'm going to be in 25 cities in America. So follow me on Apple Bigs and find out about that. You're going to announce that next week? Thanks, dude.

Next week. Look for that announcement. If you live in a city, you've got to check out if he's coming to it. The good 25. You just announced it here, though. I know. I just done breaking news. It's a pre-announcement.

It's like a pre-announcement announcement. It's not fake news. Ben, you're looking at your phone. Yeah, I'm checking my dates. You're going to the internet to see what are you doing. Guys, listen to my podcast, Tall But True. There's something not on there. It's a storytelling show.

We have a comedic guest. There's something not on there. There's something that's not on here. Tall But True is my podcast. I have another one called Speaking of Movies. You can get those on my website. You can get my latest stand-up special, Ben Bailey Live and Uncensored, there as well.

I'll be at the Delray Beach Center for the Arts in Delray Beach, Florida, on April 29th. The Virginia Beach Funny Bone, where Mike just was, May 5th and 6th. How was that last week? It was great. Funny Bone St. Louis, May 11th and 6th Funny Bone St. Louis

May 11th to 13th and the Funny Bone in Des Moines, Iowa It's too bad you can't access all the dates you're going to do for the rest of your life because I would love to hear about it Is that too much?

No No criticism for anyone Everyone else Everybody ran through their shit. Their plugs were tight. If you're listening to this. They were in and out. You were just looking at your phone.

I thought you were just reading me random texts you were receiving. I could have said that I was going to be on Cash Cow, but I wanted to keep it short. If you ever have a chance to see Ben Bailey live to the listeners,

do yourself a favor. It's one of the best stand-up comedy shows you'll see. Jesus Christ. Thanks, Mike. Yeah, now what do you have to say about Mike, Ben? No, no, no. It's not like that. It's not like that.

Mike was in Trainwreck. We have a new winner! Thanks, Ben. I appreciate that, Mike. And look for Dana as Bobby Briggs on the all-new Twin Peaks. Fuck yeah. 18 episodes? Fuck yeah.

They call them parts. It's crazy. 18 parts. It's so much for... So good. Oh, my God. I'm so excited for it. May 21st on Showtime.

And it's good to see you again, buddy. Can I say, I've done the show a lot, but huge Twin Peaks fan, huge Cash Cap fan, huge Mike Bigley fan, and this guy's fucking weird, but it was just such a good time. This is like the best panel I've ever been on except for Tom. I've always wondered why people hate Jacob Searoff.

Now I know. No, I'm serious. Everybody except Tom, such an honor to work with you guys. I'm a wondered why people hate Jacob Searoff. Now I know. No, I'm serious. Everybody except Tom. Such an honor to work with you guys. I'm a fan of all of you. That's real talk. I've never heard

of him before tonight. Real talk. I'm a fan of everything that all three of you do. I'm not even joking. Honor to play the game with you and to beat you. You already won, man.

This is all I have, you idiot. Thank you to all of my guests, Dana Ashford, Ben Bailey, Mike Barbigli, and Tom Takar, and Jacob Serum. As always, I'll look at you with your fancy pipe you're trying to give me. Yeah, just put it right there. I'll grab it.

I won't let that go. Holy shit, what is all this shit? Alright. Thanks, dude. Oh, you're in the second row today, usually. How dare you? Get out of here. Won't you go home, Bill Bailey?

Ben Bailey. The drive from Philly is a shithead. Willem Dafoe's Mondo Dongo is a shithead. Cash Cab with El Ben Bailey is a shithead And Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Paul Ryan Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz and Vladimir Putin Are all shitheads Thanks again to Cabbage for sponsoring today's episode Cabbage created a simple way for businesses To get flexible access to up to $100,000. Visit cabbage.com slash Doug and you'll get a $100 Visa gift card when you qualify.

That's K-A-B-B-A-G-E dot com slash Doug. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!