Doug Loves Movies - Mookie Blaiklock, Taylor Rizzo, Jacob Sirof and "Mark Wahlberg" guest

Episode Date: December 21, 2016

Live at the UCB Franklin in Hollywood, Doug welcomes Mookie Blaiklock, Taylor Rizzo, Jacob Sirof and "Mark Wahlberg" to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screening baby sticky seats With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name's Doug and I love movies! Hey, hey, hey, I love movies! It's like you rehearse together.

I love that about the LA crowd. They really know how to... Do you guys, when you just happen upon the song, this is how we do it, do you change the words to This Is Doug Loves Movies? I hope you do. Coming to you from

the UCB Theater, Franklin Avenue location. Everybody loves this location. Los Angeles, California. I love the Sunset location, but it's echoey. It's the last good on the airs. It's, what's today?

Tuesday, December 20th, 2016. What's the name tag situation in here tonight? Not bad. I see at least seven. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because your last name is Reed? It's still my first name. night. Not bad. I see at least seven. Reidolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, because your last name is Reid? It's still your first name every time. Wait,

but you haven't used that poster before, have you? Because it's Christmassy. Yeah, and I like that I'm the elf that wants to be a dentist. Thank you very much for casting me in that part. Let's get a live action version going. I'll do a dwarf style. I'll do a Dorf style. I'll have shoes on my knees.

I want to be a dentist. Mad Nick. You really have a flair for puns, sir. Can't you see you're sitting right next to Lizard of Oz. Liz Erd of Oz. I like it. You're from Australia?

Oh, okay. Where's that person going? A lot of movement in here. I don't know what's up about that. What's that? Oh, you got that fucking thing again? That disgusting human centipede drawing? Human benipede?

I don't need that in my life. But great job, everybody. Good luck being chosen. Doug Plugs, Douglas Movies is back over at Meltdown Comics this Thursday. Yeah. Are you going to be gone?

No. You'll still be around? I'm not. Come back. It's twice as much as it costs here, but trust me, when these guests come out tonight, just keep in mind,

the guests are twice as good on Thursday I really work hard to get better guests over there I'm just kidding I get great guests everywhere and tonight is gonna be a show tonight we're gonna do it Doug Loves Movies don't forget about the holiday taint tour. It's not Christmas. It's not New Year's. It's the taint. Dougloves movies Monday in San Diego. Stand-up Tuesday at the Improv

in Irvine. And then Thursday at the Punchline in Sacramento. Bring your name tags to those shows even even though they're stand-up, because we'll play a game at the end. And if you're the only person there who brought a name tag, you win the prize bag. And Douglas Movies comes to the Tempe, Arizona Improv on New Year's Eve, Saturday, December 31st at 420. So it's like a New Year's Eve show, but it's done at 6 o'clock.

So then you go outside, maybe stand around outside the club and get high with me and then don't drive home but Uber home and be asleep on New Year's Eve by 8pm. Or go out and do something else. I'm going to go out and do something else but if I

said what I was going to go out and do, that would give away possibly a guest or two on the show. Yeah. I know, right? So if you live in Phoenix or Tempe or Mesa, jump on the internet, see what bands are... I've said too much! For all of my dates and deets and links, go to DouglasMovies.com! Bam! What? I don't know. It's a semi-piracy theater. The listeners in Holland Beach don't know what you're doing.

This is a report. This is a report. I'm sure I can't tell you so many things. You want to do more? I want to do more. It's a pummeling sweater knockoff. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Thank you. Oh! laughter that's douglasmovies.com that is like fun in the room but nowhere else and it's gonna end soon I promise That is like fun in the room, but nowhere else.

It's going to end soon, I promise. For all my dates and deets, I already did that. The prize bag includes, from our friend in the front row, you always know he's here because you see that visor. In a bag that says Tito's Handmade Vodka of Tito's handmade vodka which is it's a very special bottle of it because it's been opened and sipped by me so be sure to you know don't forget about that open container law when you're driving home because I kind of screwed you on that. A Douglas movies t-shirt!

Some cool stickers that are George Carlin's face and it says question everything. They were created by I can't read his writing on that one. Thatagent7 on Twitter created these stickers

and he also made a t-shirt, but I have a Douglas Movies t-shirt to give you, so who needs two t-shirts? But you get two Peacemaker pipes. Decided to be generous with the Peacemakers tonight, probably because one extra one fell into the bag.

And these things are pretty cool. Some honey directly from the bees that are curated by, if that's the right word, our friend of the show, Emma Arnold. Ooh. Ooh. I love the noise that made.

And from the Traverse City Film Festival, what's one of these things called where you can put some stuff on it and then jack it into your computer, but it's also a bracelet? Is there a name for these yet? Thumb drive? Thumb drive bracelet? Wrist drive.

Thumb drive? Wrist drive? I'm going to fucking kill you. No, that's good. It's a wrist drive from the Traverse City Film Festival. And this is pretty neat in a, also it's a piece of garbage sort of way. I found from my collection they used to do

little digital watches that they give at like Burger, I think it's probably Burger King. With meals. And around the time of Nightmare Before Christmas came out, they made a really cool one that, it's no longer a watch, but I mean, I guess you could wear it. It just won't

tell you the time. But it's a beautiful, I think they probably had a set of like four of them. I might have more laying around at home, but I found this one and it seemed particularly appropriate because it's so close to Halloween. So, all of that's going in the prize bag, plus

everything brought by my four guests tonight. Please give a big, warm welcome to Mookie Blakeanklock, everybody! Don't! Don't. Don't. He's had it. He's tired of that. I don't do it for that. I don't do it for that.

So much adulation coming your way. It must be exciting that even though the series didn't last but was a great show, Don't Trust the Bee in Apartment 420 is on Netflix streaming so people can watch all the episodes, right? They can, yes. Every episode.

In the out of order way that they aired it on ABC. Yeah, ABC was like, well this episode's better than that one. So they just switch them around and story plot wise, I've been told it doesn't necessarily track. Well no, there's like there's important parts

of the story where like the there's important parts of the story where the entire crux of the series is this one character getting a job or trying to get a job on Wall Street, and then she gets the job, and then the next episode we'll be like, I'm still looking for that job. That's so fucking dumb.

Yeah, that's silly. But you know what's not silly and works in its entirety on CISO is Andy Richter's Home for the Holidays. Oh. Yeah, that was a smooth transition. Premiering today.

What? It's available today. Available today for the live listening audience. Oh, because it comes out tomorrow. It comes out today, December 20th. Okay. The people in this room right now could go home and watch it tonight. They can watch it tonight and then everyone else listening tomorrow can watch it. And they all should

because it's got Andy Richter and Mookie. Thanks. What are you playing at Mookie? I play Andy Richter's son, Mookie. He has a son named Mookie? Mm-hmm. Matt Besser is in it, and he was like,

he's like, he was like, hey, do you want to play Andy's son in this thing? And I was like, sure, of course. And he was like, okay, that's good. And it's good, too, because, like, you look like him, too. Which means, like,

you're also, like, chubby. Do you know what I mean so that must have felt good yeah but the money right the money was good you did the right thing

thanks and thanks for being here are you good at movie trivia we'll see okay that's a no let's meet the gentleman to your right

it's Taylor Rizzo everybody how many times you been on now Taylor this would be two that's what I was thinking two times how'd you do the last time

were you a big winner I fucking won yes he's back here to retain his title that's right and I won an ICP jacket so

oh you didn't win it you stole it from the prize bag He's back here to retain his title. That's right, and I won an ICP jacket, so. Oh, you didn't win it. You stole it from the prize bag. I won it for a guy that I stole it from. Yeah, okay. That worked out good. Jamie, he's right there. Oh, he's here.

All right. I'm disqualifying for life. Okay, don't forget that, because I won't remember. Taylor, how do you think your chances are tonight looking at this panel? Pretty slim. Oh, you don't think you're going to repeat tonight? No, probably not.

Maybe it'll happen. You trim down your beard a little bit for the holidays? Yeah, I do that every month or so. Because you might have to walk through the Fairfax District and you don't want to have to stop and have a prayer meeting. Yeah, I don't like that. They stop me a lot, though. Excuse me, sir, are you Jewish?

No, I'm not. Do they really? Yeah. If you say yes, what do they do? Yes, alright, you have to blow me. They try... You'll have to give me a handjob. They do some ceremony that you're only allowed

to do if you're Jewish and they won't. Walking down the street to strangers? Are you Jewish? Yes. All right, come on. Let's do the ceremony.

Okay, let's do the ceremony right there. Say yes sometimes. See what happens. Yeah, maybe I will. Is there anything I need to do? Do you have to whip your dick out?

That's what I was going to say. Yeah, is there any way I can prove it without doing that? Can I get my foreskin back? Is that a thing? I guess not. Is there foreskin reconstruction surgery?

Let's go to Jacob Searoff, everybody. He'll know the answer to this question. May the foreskin be with you. We wrote that. We wrote that back then. Seriously, though. No, I don't think. We wrote that. We wrote that back then. Seriously, though. No, I don't think you can do that. You can't get it back.

I don't think you can. Yeah, why would you? Well, because being Jewish sucks. I'm Jewish, by the way. It was that experience. But there's got to be... Isn't there ladies out there, you know, feel free to applaud or shriek if it's true,

that like an uncircumcised penis? Okay, there isn't. I like an uncircumcised penis. Yeah, well, you know, feel free to applaud or shriek if it's true, that like an uncircumcised penis? Okay, there is... I like an uncircumcised penis. Yeah, well, you love it. Whenever I watch porn and there's an uncircumcised penis, I feel, like, jealous and I wish I had my old penis. I did not circumcise my son. Really? Good for you. That's one of my three wishes.

She didn't circumcise him either. Oh, a good friend of mine can't come by tonight. He says, hey, buddy, I can't swing it. Have a merry show and a great Christmas. This fucking guy is out of my life. All right, so, Jacob, you are, of course, chock full of Rogue One spoilers that you can't wait to see.

I don't know what we're allowed to do spoiler-wise. I know, right? I'm not in a hurry to spoil the movie for anybody. But that's an interesting concept. In an open forum. Who here is still... wait to say. I don't know what we're allowed to do spoiler-wise. I'm not in a hurry to spoil the movie for anybody, but I'd like to discuss it in an open forum. Who here is still... Applaud if you have not seen Rogue One. That's like half

the people. Now, of those, applaud if you are excited to and don't want to hear any spoilers about Rogue One. So what the fuck's wrong with you? It's been like four days. Go see it. What are the fuck's wrong with you? It's been like four days. Yeah. Go see it.

What are you getting ready for Christmas? Ask the Jew. But Hanukkah's like in line with Christmas this year. And I have my fucking kids for all of it this year. It's the worst. Oh, so you got to give them something every day? I got a tree. What?

I got a fucking tree. I'm dating this Gentile girl who made me get a tree for my kids. But they haven't figured out the fucking 11 presents thing? Eight presents? I apologize. I apologize. You're scaring me, Doug.

Maybe you've read some portion of the Torah I hadn't. Jacob's like, I can't afford 11 presents. I don't got that kind of money. Yeah, sorry. Eight presents. Do you have to give him eight presents?

You do, but you give him chintzy shit most of the time. Socks. I mean, it would be like my mom would give me a calendar always one day, shit like that. Yeah, because it's your paper anniversary. Yeah, then you get the big thing on one of the days. I think that's how most of them. Jews here, can you vouch for that?

Yeah. I don't know if this guy's Jewish, but the fluorescent star of David's He said it was just from the movie the night before. Did you see the movie the night before, Jacob? No, I haven't seen it. Oh, is that sweater by Tipsy Elves on Shark Tank?

Cool. Oh, really? Yeah. One of Shark Tank's most successful businesses. I mean, it's just true. Thanks, Mookie. No problem. I love knowing a guy named Mookie.

And I love knowing a guy named Mark Wahlberg. How you guys doing? What's up, Tuck? Have you seen Rouge 1? I have seen it. Yeah? What'd you think? I mean, that's okay, Tuck? Have you seen Rouge 1? I have seen it. Yeah, what'd you think? I mean, that's okay, I guess.

You just don't like anything that you're not in. I turned it down, and I'll be honest. Wait, which part were you going to play? The sarcastic robot? Vader. What? Yeah, I'm like, I'll play fucking Vader, but we go no helmet. James Jones is still a thing, you know. Yeah.

He can just do it. He's willing to talk if you want. I was like, I'll play it., but we go no helmet. James Jones is still a thing, you know. He can just do it. He's willing to talk if you want. I was like, I'll play it. I don't want to say a fucking word. You just put his voice in. We go no helmet. And instead of a lightsaber, I use my fist. Let's do this shit.

Wait, what? No helmet? Why would you want to fucking cover my face out to? Because he has a breathing problem. Well, this is the early days. Maybe he didn't then. Maybe he looked fucking great. The early days?

It's 10 seconds before he had a breathing problem. Look, I don't know the chronological order of it. No, it's about 20 years after he had a breathing problem. Whatever. What?

But maybe there was a time where they were like, hey, before we go to this helmet thing, maybe we should fucking try out something that looks great and all Americans

would be in love with just by seeing his face. And then they have my fucking face to it. Everybody wins. I come in for a movie. I get out. You get back to the James Earl shit.

James Earl shit. Nice. Yeah. Plus, I look great in fucking black. I'm not going to argue with that. But, Jacob, what about... What were we just saying? 20 years?

Between what? Well, when he started having the breathing problems at the end of episode 3. Okay. You said it was 3 seconds before he started having the breathing problems. Well, I mean, this movie doesn't take place right before a new hope. Yeah, but then he had already been Vader for about 20 years at that point. I see, I see, I see. Or the, yeah.

He'd already been a not particularly intimidating factor anymore. What do you mean? Well, he was Hayden Christensen for a little while there. For like 10 seconds. And you went,

this bitch is Darth Vader? He was Darth Vader as Hayden Christensen for a very short amount of time. Yeah, yeah. It did not work. It didn't, oh, Mark Wahlberg knows acting,

you guys. Can't argue with that. Fuck that, dude. I mean, I'll take a little bit of Life is a House, but that's it where I stop with Hayden Christensen. I love Life is a House. Life is a House is fucking good, dude. I mean, I'll take a little bit of Life is a House, but that's it where I stop with Hayden Christian. I love Life is a House.

Life is a House is fucking good, dude. Drinking off and choking himself. That's invader shit right there. When that gay dude from Dave is laying on a bed and he's like, build that house with me, son. Build that fucking house. I cry. He was good in that journalism.

Shattered Glass. Shattered Glass movie, too. Yeah, I didn't like that title, Shattered Glass, because his last name was Glass. His name was Glass. That was a little heavy-handed. Too on the nose, as we say in the business. Yeah, I think it's pretty good in that, too. Yeah, I didn't like that title, Shattered Glass, because his last name was Glass. His name was Glass. That was a little heavy-handed. Too on the nose, as we say in the business. Yeah, well, especially you.

Was that a Jewish joke? It was. It was straight up a Jewish joke. Fuckin' A, Doc. That was a good one. Because I normally don't go there, but you go there so often, I just feel very comfortable. You and Dave Rath, who people don't have a reason to know him, but for some reason you dragged the Jew jokes out of me.

And... Mark Wahlberg. Yes, sir. I'm excited to say that your co-star in Lone Survivor... Yeah? Emile Hirsch. Oh, my God.

I thought you were going to say Taylor Kitchen shit or whatever. Emile, good dude. Taylor Kitchen shit? What are you talking about? Riggs, whatever the fuck his or whatever. Emil, good dude. Taylor Kitchen shit? What are you talking about? Riggs, whatever the fuck his name is. Yeah, John Carpenter. Riggins. Or whatever.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Not Riggs. Not Danny Glover. I'm excited to say, Emil Hirsch is going to be a guest soon on Douglas' movie. No shit. Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to come back out and fuck with him?

I shouldn't have brought... I him? I shouldn't have brought, I guess now I shouldn't have brought it up to you. You don't understand. There's a part of that movie where he falls down a hill that he wasn't supposed to. I just fucking threw him

and they kept rolling. Doug, I don't know if I'll get to be on that one, but like, could you, if I chance, or I won't, will you tell him that I think Speed Racer is one of the greatest?

Do you love Speed Racer? That's the first fucking thing I say to him. Just like backstage, just let him know, so there's a guy who thinks it's one of the greatest movies ever made. Dude, you like that movie too?

I love that movie. I love that fucking movie. Anytime where people are like, do you want to make this? And somebody goes, yes. And then they just fucking do it. I live off that. She's dead in bed. You don't like it?

No, that movie makes me want to chant, Rufio, Rufio. Because people do love it. People do love the Speed Racer. It's got a cult in love it people do love the Speed Racer it's got a cult in it yeah who loves Speed Racer it's about half the audience same as the Rogue One

I find that response very satisfying and now I'm regretting this whole line of discussion because if Emile Hirsch listens to this episode to figure out what happens on this show

he's going to be what the fuck man I want him to know I think it's one of the greatest movies ever made I love that movie I will pass that if it had done well

financially it would have changed filmmaking I believe well I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna tell him all of that I'm sure

on Thursday alright so keep it a secret motherfuckers yeah yeah don't tell anybody what's happening Thursday? You guys having lunch or something?

Yeah. You know how it works. Mookie can tell you this. Sure. I like to have a nice lunch with a potential guest before they come on. Dude, I've never had

fucking lunch with you. Are you serious right now? Yeah. We could have been having fucking pregame protein shakes like 10, 20 fucking times. A protein shake doesn't count as lunch.

Yes, it does, motherfucker. You sit in a restaurant and have a protein shake? Yeah, I'll bring mine in. I'll go table for one, smoking section. Let's do this. I don't understand any of that.

Why would they want a customer that's not going to buy anything and brings in his own protein shake? They wouldn't want a customer. They want a Mark Wahlberg. Okay.

You're telling me that I'm smoking... Are you saying They want a Mark Wahlberg. Okay. You tell me. Are you saying you just go into Wahlbergs and drink a shake? Oh, shit. I should start doing that. I mean Wahlburgers. It's really... Have you been there yet?

Sorry, I mispronounced it. Listen, we're running out of time. Okay. Well, there goes your gift card. The pause between Douglas Moody's tonight took up a lot of time, so we really have to move along. Starting with Mookie.

You know what, Mookie? I'm going to let you go last on this one, because you might be surprised by this question, because you've never been on before. Mark Wahlberg. Yes. Last movie you saw. Sicario.

Jacob Seurat. Really fucking good. I know, that's the only one I know. Jacob. No, you liked it a lot? Yeah, I did like it a lot. And you're not in it, though. You like it a lot and you're not in it though you usually don't like things

you're not in it no but I like Del Toro he doesn't really compete with me so I can just watch it and like it have you seen his Christmas commercial no but I eat at his restaurant

all the time what Benicio Del Toro has a restaurant yeah if you say Del Taco I'm gonna I'm gonna be like, what?

No comment. I'm sorry to beat you to the punchline. Listen, Mark. That's all right, I'll give you one. All right, thank you. You always give me one, and I appreciate that. Yeah, I really did like it. But anyway, he's in a commercial for something.

What's it for, you guys? Heineken. And it's him just, like, Christmassy, and it's just like, no, dude. No, dude. Nobody wants to see your lighter side. You're a good, scary actor. Keep it that way.

Yeah. At the end of the commercial, does he shoot a person that you're not sure whether or not that person should die? Because that's where he lives. That is exactly what should happen. But instead, he's laughing. Oh, somebody got me a tie. No, that commercial should end. commercial shouldn't make any sense. No, he should shoot

the bartender that you've come to like and then look at the camera and go, maybe that guy was bad. And then you don't even know, but that's where Del Toro lives, dude.

Do you suggest that often to directors when you're working on film? I should look to camera and say... Oh, and it never makes the cut. And there's so many fucking movies

where I look at the camera. Like at the end of... In Fear, we're coming to the end of the roller coaster. I look at the camera and go, makes the cut. And there's so many fucking movies where I look at the camera like at the end of in fear we're coming to the end of the roller coaster I look at the camera and go she liked it. Doesn't make the cut.

Boogie Nights mirror scene I take it out I whip it I look at the camera I go you're welcome. Doesn't make the cut. This happens all

the fucking time to me. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like yeah it sounds like maybe stuff you do after they say cut. You should pay attention for that.

The happening, I talk to that plant, I look at the camera, I'm like, did you hear what that plant said? Doesn't make the cut. Y'all gotta get final cut. I don't think you should get it. Jacob, what was the last movie you saw? Was it Rogue One? It was Rogue One.

You saw it a second time? I saw it, yeah, the second time today, this morning. Did you change up the formats or did you see it the same way? Yeah, I went to Limeax. I saw it in Limeax today.

I'm calling you out, AMC Burbank 16 with your fake-ass IMAX. Fake IMAX. But I had some free Jewish money from a Fandango purchase. They gave me a free ticket so I could suffer a dollar. Fuck it. Right?

Lime-Axe? It's bigger than... But not 3D? I did. It was 3D. I don't need it. I mean, you know, God bless them for maybe making a few extra bucks. No, not God bless them.

Why am I saying God bless them? I feel like few extra bucks. No, not God bless him. And also, why am I saying God bless him? I feel like 3D at movies is like weed at movies. It wears off before the trailers are over. Whoa, that's fast. Yeah, I'm always like,

oh. I thought that line would get something. I don't know, it's been a classic in conversation. I'm always like, oh, look at how

this has been approved for all audiences. Looks like it's like sticking out a little with some shade of it. That's the best, that's as good as it gets though. That's some sweet 3 little with some shade that's the best that's as good as it gets though sweet three that's as good as it gets because by the time the movie

starts your eyes have adjusted and you're not seeing there is nothing like rogue one just doesn't it's not like they even try to make it a 3d experience it's just pasted on or you know you're just sitting there with the dumb glasses on for no reason well i wanted to spend the most money possible because i knew i could spend up to $15 on the free ticket. So I just wanted to make sure I spent the most possible amount of the $15. Do you wear contacts or do you stick

their dumb glasses over your glasses? No, I stick them on. I stick their dumb glasses over my dumb glasses. Oh my God, it's like such nerd shaming. Making two pairs of glasses.

What are you, John Lennon making an album cover? Nice pull, Doug. It's not comfortable. For the listener at home, Doug loved it when I said nice pull. But Jacob Stareoff, let's get the official ranking from somebody who enjoys the prequels. Let's break them down.

One through eight. Let's call Rogue One eight. It doesn't count. You know I won't do this. You won't do it? Well, it doesn't count. But just count it in terms of your own enjoyment. Well, one through six tied.

What? You know that we've done this several times. Why are you still surprised? But I'm saying just do it for the fuck of it. Just be like seven, three, two, four, eight. Okay, okay, okay. I'll do it. Just how much you enjoy it, not whether or not it's canon.

I've never done this and I don't and in real life, I don't separate. Yeah, there's no reason to do it, man. It's one through six. Could lead to a bar fight. Then Force Awakens in this, I would say. So it's third place. There's only three slots available. So like five, four, six is your order for the first three?

No. Oh, no. I don't have an order. Do I have to have an order? Don't you like Empire better than Star Wars? No. Okay. I look at the first six

as one film. Okay. Well, that's your first mistake. Well, I've made a career out of it. I'm reaping in the dough with my prequel.

No, I love this. I love that you're the number one prequel apologist in the nation. It's not apologist because I'm... Are you number one

in the world or just the nation at this point? No, there's a few people on Twitter. There's a couple other people. There's some contenders? Yeah, but I... Can we put together an episode of all people that love...

Like two, maybe two... You pick your favorite other apologist. Okay. And then I'll get two haters. Okay. And I'll just sit by. I don't like arguing with you. I like you.

And I get that you just like the movies unconditionally I like I feel that way I like George Lucas' vision unconditionally yeah there you go I appreciate that

yeah and I think I don't like George's vision problem but the prequel thing is not that's the part

that I've become like you know affiliated with because that's the es that I've become affiliated with because that's the esoteric opinion. But I don't like the prequels more than the original ones. I just don't... You like them all? I like them all. Okay. Wait, what do you like better between Force Awakens

and Rogue One? Force Awakens. This one just felt like Expanded Universe to me. Yeah. Rogue One did. It is. It felt like a novel I would have read in the 90s. It's a little fan fiction-y. It's a little like fiction-y. Yeah. It's a little like... Very much so. The only point of it really is let's show how, why the Death Star was vulnerable.

It just feels like a little, it's a little too wink wink for me. I mean, I enjoyed the movie, but there's a lot of like, you know, I called Force Awakens Star Tours the movie, but this is really Star Tours the movie. It feels like when you're in line, there's like, oh look, there goes Vader. And you know, it doesn't feel like, i don't accept that as like what really happened leading up to the you know that's not what happened it's a cute story i don't know well i mean only one guy knows what happened and i don't think anything happened in his mind but they have star wars names like jim ursa right exactly sounds so star Star Wars. To me, Star Wars

has become Marvel movies for me. There'll be good ones and bad ones. Yeah, but okay, what's a bad Marvel movie? A bad Marvel movie?

Yeah, because I think they've been consistent. That fantastic four that never came out? That's not a Marvel movie,

fucking. You don't think there's been any bad Marvel movies? I don't. I think there's ones I like less. I am not a fan.

I'm not interested in Thor and his other planets as much as just shit that's going on on Earth. You like that on Earth. Like, when Thor's on Earth, I like him fine. But when they go

to where he's from, I don't give a shit. Asgard. Thanks, Mark. You like Asgard, too. I didn't care for that. Yeah, I don't care about Asgard. But I, uh...

You know, everything else that, you know... But then also, you know, I've said this before know, but then also, you know, I've said this before, Guardians is my favorite. Yeah, it's the best. I wish that wasn't

a Marvel movie. Well, it almost feels like it is. But we're going to have to see them talk to fucking Iron Man at some point. I would love it.

I don't want to see that. I want to see Tony Stark played by Robert Downey Jr. as often as possible for the rest of Eternity. I'm with you, but not in Guardians. I hope he doesn't retire

because Iron Man could always get in a fucking suit. Even if he's an old guy he could be operating it from the ground in Guardian you know like a drone well I don't know about guard just I wish that just existed on James Gunn is I really trust him with Guardians I think the second one's gonna be amazing and I don't watch anything from it I don't want to see any of it I'm just well you're missing out the trailers dope but I but I'm missing out on them, I'm saying. Well, it's a great trailer. I could watch them later.

They're still going to exist after the movie comes out. For me, Guardians is my new Lucas Star Wars. It's not on a spiritual level, but on a cinematic one. Yeah, it's really good. Can I just say I'm impressed that you guys have talked this long without punching each other? I've never talked to a single person this long without

throwing a punch. I've never been in Boston for this long without being punched so see you got it America loves Duncan Taylor what was last movie you saw hot tub time machine Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Why? Is that canon, though? Does it really count? It doesn't. Without John Cusack and his original vision. Yeah, I wasn't good

as the first one. I love a lot of the people in it, so I don't want to sit here and brag on it, but why'd you watch it? I don't know. I was high, and it was on the TV.

On television? Yeah, it's on... With commercials and shit? No, it's on Amazon Prime. Oh, okay. Which I have the free 30-day trial of. I watch anything with... I love Rob Corddry and Craig Robinson. Yeah, it was fun.

I watched the whole thing. It was that good. Okay. I dare say, don't tell my friends that are in it, but I think the first one was overrated. I disagree. Yeah, people are gasping. How dare you?

What are you going to do next? Slag on Dude, Where's My Car? And the answer is yes. The listener at home, three people just walked out. That's one of the only movies I've ever walked out of, is Dude, Where's My Car. I've never seen the whole thing. You started worrying about where your car was.

Close to home, bro. You're just running out to the parking lot. Dude, did I leave the stove on? The other movie I walked out of. Dude, where's my iPhone charger? Mookie, what about you? Have you been to the movies lately? What's the last movie I watched? In the theater?

Or, you know, just in any format, but just like something that's most present, like, you know, you remember. Last night I watched the movie Nocturnal Animals. Did you get a screener or you went to a theater? Yeah, it was a screener. A Screen Actors Guild screener. Fucking A, bro.

Yeah. So you watch it at home yeah and uh she's given the theatrical experience which i think is already rigging the game that like a lot of people like you're gonna vote for movies that work better at home i don't vote in the theater what well how'd you get it there well i'm just in the guild i but i mean you're not going to vote on the sag awards i mean they send you you a thing Yeah I put it in the recycling Okay What

Who Who votes Mark is gonna throw a punch I'm not telling you How to live your life Okay But there's a lot of Really big famous

Fucking people Who wanna be nominated For shit And then would like To win a fucking award Every once in a while So maybe you don't Throw that shit away

And start casting some votes Where they belong Like me, motherfucker. I'm so sorry. I want a fucking statue. I got three fucking Cable Ace Awards and that's it.

Did you get a screener of Deepwater Horizon? No, but I did see that movie in the theater. It was great. Fucking A was, dude. We're back on board. It's that easy with Mark.

Just compliment him as soon as he starts yelling. Yeah, or just be an American. It's the same thing Mark Just compliment him As soon as he starts yelling Yeah or just be an American It's the same thing That movie was good It was fucking phenomenal It was good That all really happened too

Exciting It really happened No I believe you I ate that breakfast I swam in that fucking water It all fucking happened I apologize But I haven't seen it yet

You know what This is when you lie to me To try to get me upset And I'm not gonna fucking seen it yet. You know what? This is what he lied to me to try to get me upset, and I'm not going to fucking do it right now. You want to pull that shit with Donnie? He'll believe anything. You think I slept overnight, saw a first showing day one? Is that what you think has really happened? I'm just lying about it?

I don't know. I sent it to your fucking house. I wrote on the envelope, to Doug. And I told Donnie to drop it off and he said I got to you. Yeah, and how am I going

to project the film that you left on my doorstep? I'll buy you a fucking movie theater. Do you want a movie theater? Yes, please. Okay, done.

Can I have the new Beverly? Fuck. QT is fucking tight on that show. I know, right? I like that place and I like the way they program it.

It's like they kind of go, hey, let's show movies that were never good. Except for at midnight. Because everybody likes a movie that was never good. You know, like, there's just those movies that, like, you just cling to because it just hit you at the right time. I love it.

Never been in one of those. I'll vote this year. You will? Yeah. We'll be all fucking proud of you right now. Yeah, really proud of you. I'll vote this year. That's really great. I'm so glad we turned you around.

Hey, what time are we supposed to be done tonight in the booth? Like 9.15? Like around 9 o'clock, 9.15. 9 o'clock. I'm like, should we be done at 9.15? Yeah, 9. 9.15? Like around 9 o'clock, 9.15. I'm like, should we go to 9.15? Yeah, 9. 9.15. I'm going to go for 9.15. Thank you for

allowing that. I think that's how long we're supposed to go. Let's play some games, you guys. We need to know what you brought for the prize bag real quick, starting with Mookie. Just in time for summer. I love this. This is a

100 American Summer First Day of Camp Beach Towel. Never used. Let's applause your hearing for your great contribution. It's a solid gift, though. It's got all the great people on it. Pass that over here.

I'm sweating a little bit, so it's going to come in handy. Yeah, this is fantastic. Except for Bradley Cooper, and maybe Molly Shannon, Judah Freelander, okay, there's a lot of them, but many people on this towel have been on Douglass movies,

and I'm very excited. I didn't know what else to say Taylor what do you got I got good stuff I got an OG King Kong poster that what can look at it later I'll look at it right now while you're just trying to rest your shit I got a little uh lit match pin uh it says it's lit if you like shit like that I guess that's lit match pin. It says, it's lit. If you like shit like that. That's lit, fam. For sure.

It might be the smallest prize anyone has ever brought. That was my goal. I have the digital HD access codes for the two prequels to Saw. Home Alone 1 and 2. I love prequels. That? Home Alone 1 and 2? Oh, I love prequels. That's a good gift. If you didn't know that that's the prequel to Saw, you should definitely... Home Alone 1 and 2 are definitely Saw prequels.

And then I got a... See if you can work your way out of this puzzle. I got a t-shirt. A what? A what? Whoa, what does it say on it? You don't have a microphone. Written and directed by Quinn Tarantino.

It's some art done by this guy named Della Deso. Yeah, it used to be a large, but now it fits like a youth large. Isn't that the guy that owned Westworld or something? Yeah, probably. Made that shirt. What? That was the name of the company, I think.

In Westbrook? Something like that. Oh, I got something else. It's called what? What was it called? You guys were just talking. It's called Delos. I don't know.

Delodeso? Is that really his name? Delos. I got some candies if I'm allowed to give those away, too. Why not, dude? It's fucking candy. Does anybody here like legalized marijuana candy? Yeah, I mean, it's not illegal to give it to anyone.

Just don't have a bunch of them and do something fucking stupid. Yeah. They're only 10 milligrams a piece, so eat at least three. Do not. Have one, wait an hour and a half, see how you feel. Mark, I thought you'd never give bad advice and it just happened. Okay. So you better stay down there.

Stay one person over from Mark. You're in trouble. What do you got, Jacob? I got a... I've never done this before, but I brought an actual hardcore pornographic film. Oh! Yeah.

But it's kind of appropriate because Mark's on the show because it's two people, I believe, that were on the show Because it's two people I believe that were In the film Bookie Nights It's Nina Loves Ron With Nina Hartley And Ron Jeremy And I know it's Probably not an appropriate

Gift for the show Because It's Christmas And they're both Jews But I figured Fuck it Because Mark's on the show And everything

It's appropriate Yeah why not Eat some of these edibles Watch some hardcore School school porn. It says a romance 35 years in the making because that's what you want in a porn. It's people that have been doing it for 35 years.

I mean, that's experience you can't... Yeah, they know all the ins and outs. Talk about beat up. Yeah, some... So there's that, Jewish porn. And I also brought this... It stars Limp Dick and Torup. This is... and so there's that. Jewish porn. And I also brought this, well, I don't, it stars Liv Dick

and Torup. This is, this is my favorite. This is some boner coffee. This is coffee that gives you a boner in case you have, so if you have trouble

getting up in the morning, I just brought it so I could tell that joke. Really, that's all I get for it? It's boner coffee, though. More than you deserve for it. Well, I thought. Jacob, I want you to be honest with me.

You seem like a great dude. We've never been on a show together before. Do you work at a Spencer's Gifts? Or do you own one? Why the fuck would I? You might own it. Do you own Spencer's Gifts? Do they sell hardcore porn at Spencer's?

I mean, I feel like it. Dildos. Do you own Spencer's Gifts? No, I don't own Spencer's gifts. Damn. I don't think that's it. Donnie's looking for a job. That's what I ask.

I told him. I could get Donnie a job. You could? Yeah. Holiday hours, bro. Don't forget, on this show, the safe word is Donnie. And Mark, what have you got? Holiday movie?

It's been like just sitting right there underneath your balls for the entire show. You're welcome. Perfect place to restore things. Holiday movie, everybody's shipping stuff. Everybody's got to get their Amazon Prime in. You did it. Contraband on Blu-ray. I don't fuck around.

No, you sure don't. Classic line from that movie. Oh, you think you're the only one with a gun? Who said that line in that movie? Doug, I said it. Do I win? Yeah. Thanks.

Giovanni Ribisi is in that movie as well. Very good. Wow, that's an interesting name drop. I think he's a great fucking dude. I put him in Ted. You put him in Ted? Yep. You put him in Ted too? Took him a Ted? Yep. You put him in Ted too?

Took him a half a day to realize we were shooting a film. I was like, dude, just come hang out. Go stand over there for a while and I'll talk to me like you're mad and then try and steal this bear. You did try to steal the bear.

It all worked. All right. Now you remember what the last movie I saw was. So I'll say this. Let the games begin! Bye, Bear. We got name tags. We're running out of time.

We can only go until 9 o'clock. Oh, there's a yarmulke. Let's go to a quick commercial break. We'll be right back. Today's show is brought to you in part by CISO. CISO spelled S-E-E-S-O, but you knew that. It's the new ad-free streaming service bringing you hilarious originals, series hand-picked classics, weeks of stand-up specials, and more.

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Back to the show! Alright, we're back. Mookie, who are you playing for? Uh, Nicole. DLM. Back to the show. Alright, we're back. Mookie, who are you playing for? Nicole. The legend of Nicole. I thought this was a Planet of the Apes. Oh, Liana. Don't say shit out loud, dude.

Stop saying stuff out loud. Great advice on this show. No, on the back of the name tag we have like a consolation prize where I'll call whatever they say. Oh, I'm... I'll call that person out at the end of the show. I'm so... It's fine.

I'm sorry. Most of you will listen to the show Smoke Weed, so they're not going to remember at the end. I mean, no one's... There's no point where anyone's going to give a fuck about Leanne. Is that what it says? I didn't even say the end. I mean, there's no point where anyone's going to give a fuck about Leanne. Is that what it said? I didn't even say the whole name.

Oh, okay. That was about half of it. But that's enough of it that it means it's like some sort of personal grudge and no one's going to laugh when we say it and I hope you win tonight. Who are you playing for, Taylor? The human Bintope.

Oh, that goddamn drawing of shit going through three people. Is that shit? Yeah, why does the shit start before the mouth of the first person? And why did he do it like a Keith Haring style? It is like Keith Haring, yeah. Yeah, they ate shit

and then shit out shit. And there's an arrow to make sure you know that's where the shit, that's where things go in and then they go out that way. Should have just had two arrows going in both sides. Because you thought it was going out this way and that way.

It's not. It kind of looks like the journey of Indiana Jones. This is like Costner and JFK, this breakdown of this drawing. The shit goes up and to the left. Jacob. Ben's going to be in a courtroom defending that at some point, I'm pretty sure, anyway.

You picked a yarmulke. I picked a yarmulke. This guy just, this Jew assaulted me with a yarmulke, and I feel guilty, and it's almost Hanukkah, so I took it. And he didn't even, he's so Jewish, he didn't even want to spend money on ink to write on it. Because there's nothing on it. It's just his wedding yarmulke. Spend money on ink to write on it because there's nothing on it it's just his wedding spend money on ink yes

what world are you living in how long do you think a pen has a finite number of uses before you have to buy another pen right what's the dude's name

his name is uh uh Rev Jason Red Jason Rev Jason it's like Rev it's a

it's a like a thing alright and is there a is there a shithead on there? I know. I mean, he's the shithead, I think. There's no... He didn't write anything on it. I don't think this was...

I think he was just wearing this. I think it was just... He's so cheap, he's just still wearing his wedding yarmulke from April as his normal everyday yarmulke. This fucking Jew. Why did I pick him?

You're making us both look bad, dude. Why did I pick this shit? I'm gonna wear it. You have lice or anything? You filthy Jew. Do you have pick him? You're making us both look bad, dude. Why did I pick this shit? I'm gonna wear it. You have lice or anything? You filthy Jew. Do you have lice? Is that okay? To wear somebody else's yarmulke? I don't know. I'm keeping it. I hope you know that.

I'm keeping it. Oh, no. That's a special yarmulke? You didn't invite me to the wedding, so at least you could do it. Who's that? Is that a shiksa you're holding on to over there? No? She's Jewish, too? Don't believe it. She converted for you, huh? Did she?

Yeah, she did. I can tell. Yeah, the blog girl converted. What a surprise. But that's so cute. She's like pretending to be a real Jew in public and stuff. That's not easy to do nowadays. Yeah, Tom Arnold couldn't pull it off.

Why would you want her to convert? You got a shiksa. Why ruin it? Yeah, you should brag about it. Your parents must still be alive, I guess. Hey, Lex, after the show's over, stick around and Jacob will do ten more minutes on this guy. That's it? Mark, who are you playing for?

Lizard Ofos. The Lizard Liz Art of Oz. That works, too. Yeah. And what's taped onto it? What are these candies? I don't know. They're like little dairy milks

with a little over-excited koala. No koala is ever that excited in life. Why did you put those on there? Just their homeland candies. Will you please eat one? Mark? Will you take a bite of one? No, I don't need that fucking calorie.

Do you really want me to try one, Lizardofoes? Yes, she does. I'll split one with these two. Yeah, you guys have one too. And then she put me on there. She put me on there. Lizard-O-Foes? Yes, she does. I'll split one with these two. Yeah, you guys have one too. Yes. And then she put me on there? Split them into two twos.

She put me on there? And she put on... They're really soft. She put on you? Jeff Tate's on there? Yep, the Sleeveless Wonder. Jeff Tate is on there. Jeff Tate makes

a great Cowardly Lion. He does make a perfect Cowardly... There was no Photoshop done to make him look like the Cowardly Lion. And then I'm the Tin Man because I'm fucking strong

and heartless, motherfucker. Yeah, well, Oz never did nothing for the Tin Man as I'm fucking strong and heartless, motherfucker. Yeah, well, Oz never did nothing for the Tin Man as the song says. Well, that he didn't didn't already have. Yeah, yeah.

But great job, everybody and let's play some games for four minutes. Oh my God, Doug, it's a little koala. Oh, it's a koala bear chocolate thing. What's in the middle of it?

Like marshmallow? Caramel. Caramel. Caramel and koala bear chocolate thing. What's in the middle of it? Like marshmallow? Caramel. Caramel. Caramel and koala. Caramel and there's actual koala in there, she says. I'm going to take a bite of this. Then I'm going to run three and a half fucking miles to work it off. But I'm doing it for you.

Because I like to make women happy. Thank you. That was a sexy bite. Oh no, he spit it out. Also sexy. That's pretty good. I haven't had chocolate since 1989. That's fucking good.

The clock in the UCB is accurate right now, so that means we have 22 minutes to play some games. Let's fuck this shit up. How'd you guys like that candy? I thought it was great. Delicious. I didn't have any.

You do have more? What's up? Hit me with it. What's happening? I think she's about to parade it. She's got a whole bag of them. Here, let's throw them at the audience too. Oh, that's a good idea. Let's throw some at me first.

There's no hurry to the audience, too. Oh, that's a good idea. But let's throw some at me first. There's no reason to get... There's no hurry to get to the games. I keep announcing how little time we have for the games, and there's really no reason to worry about that. Oh, thank you. Look at that. It's like a parade not moving. Throw one back to the girl in Brompton.

Come on. I need some dudes. Just the dudes. Take a tit out. Let's do this. Show a tit for some candy. She'll do it. She'll do it.

I said dudes only, motherfucker. Yeah, that's sexist. Don't fucking do that shit. I'm equal opportunity sexist, and I said dudes. Remember that time we did your show and never got to the games? Did that happen? I feel like it might. This is the prequel to that show.

I feel like it happened in a Jeff Garlin episode. But usually we get to at least a few games. So, let's do this. Starting with Purple Rain Man. let's do this starting with Purple Rain Man. Mookie the idea this game is Purple Rain Man is the example of two movie titles two great movies squished into one title. Got it. And if I said the lead actors in this movie are Prince and Dustin Hoffman, you'd just go Purple Rain Man.

But I'm starting at the third billed people in this mashup title. Okay. Guess as often as you like. First person to get the right answer wins. Audience does not get to participate. Not that I have to tell you guys.

You're good. The third billed stars of this movie mashup title are Bonnie Bedelia and Yancey Butler. Nope. No, they are. No, I believe you.

Those are the two names. I'm not a Yancey Butler fan. I prefer a fancy Butler when I'm hiring domestic help. Jacob's feeling, he's really, he's got his thinking cap on. Depends. Depends who Yancey Butler is.

Yeah, it really does, doesn't it? But I think I got it. All right, I think you'll get it on this next one, if you think you got it now. This is going to sell it to you. I'm going to live and let die hard. No. No.

Second build. What? Alan Rickman and Lance Henriksen. Die hard target. Die Hard Target. That's correct. Nice. First build, of course, Bruce Willis and Jean-Claude Van Damme. And this next game is a little something called Build a Title.

And Jacob gets to go first. And since it's almost Christmas and suddenly this year for I don't know what reason maybe the political climate people are arguing on the internet constantly about whether or not diehard is a Christmas man oh my god so weird it's like okay first of all who cares second of all it is it is because, well, because then if every movie that takes place on or around Christmas is a Christmas movie, that lets in

a lot of crazy-ass movies into the Christmas movie canon. And, uh, I don't know. You know, like, because Clockwork Orange has a day that's Christmas during it. But by heart, the whole thing is Christmas. It's a Christmas party. The whole thing happens because of a Christmas party.

It's a thematic element of the movie. Yeah, but it also isn't about Christmas in any way. Like, it's only a device that gets everybody in the same building.

There's never any scenes where they discuss Christmas. Come out to the holidays, we'll have some, come out to the coast, we'll have some laughs. It's not, hey, let's trim the tree

and make gingerbread cookies. Right? Isn't the music Christmas music? There is a Christmas party in the movie. Isn't his name Klaus? But I'm arguing

even though I agree that it is, it's my favorite Christmas movie. What's Alan Rickman's name in the movie? John Christmas. It's not Klaus?

It might be Klaus. It's not John Christmas. It's not Klaus? It might be Klaus. John Christmas. But anyway, people are arguing about it. I don't really care. But the bottom line is that I'd like to play Build a Title

starting with Die Hard. So we'll start with Jacob and then we'll go to Mark and then Mookie. Hopefully you'll figure out how this crazy game works by the time it gets to you. The idea is you add titles based on how the titles sound and link up.

So Jacob has to come up with a title of a movie that ends with die or begins with hard. Live and let die hard. Yeah. That's right. Mark? Yeah. That's right. Mark? Yeah? So something that ends with live

Oh, I know one for that. Or begins with hard. Live and let die hard rain? Yeah. Hard target was already out there for the taking. That's right. I don't play it easy, though. But no, no, you went with the rain. So, Mookie, you need to believe it begins with the word rain

or ends with the word live. Well, this seems cheap, but live and let die hard rain man. Yeah. That's not cheap, dude. That's clever. No, it's called winning. And you are doing it. Taylor, begins with man or ends with live?

Do I have to repeat the whole thing? No. Oh, thank God. It's so long at this point. I know. Can you, though? I don't think I can. For me, though? Did don't think I can. For me though?

Did you dab before the show? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man on the Moon? Man on the Moon. I like it. Wait. What? What's wrong, Jacob?

Rain Man. They wanted that die hard Rain Man on the Moon. Okay. Duh. I can't believe you're taking this long to come up with a movie that begins with moon. I'm good on either end right now. It begins with moon, Jake.

Oh, well... Just say it. What? A movie that begins with moon. Are there that many movies that begin with moon? Well, I can think of one. Yeah, there's one that just pops right into your head. There's the movie Moon, but I don't know if I can use that.

You can't just say moon. You're not adding. You're not building. I know. Are you playing? You're going to kick yourself when you hear what the one is. Is it a Star Wars movie? No.

Sure. Moons Over Endors is what it's fucking called. Oh, I got one. I got one. Thank you for that. Yeah, you just fucking helped him. That's okay. So I want to do the whole thing, though.

Yeah, start with Live and Let Die. Live and Let Die. Hard. Hard. Rain. Rain. Man on the Moon over Peridot. Oh, okay.

Why did that help? Nobody's ever going to add on to Peridot, by the way. It's the only movie. Oh, okay. Why did that help? Nobody's ever going to add on to Parador, by the way. It's the only movie. There's movies that begin with the word door. You can do that.

What? Parador. Do you want to tell them the one everyone in the room, including screaming at their iPhones, was saying in their head? Yeah, Moonraker.

Oh, or Struck. Let's go on Struck on that one. No, but Jacob and I talk all the time about how much he loves James Bond. It's not a good James Bond movie, or struck. He's going struck on that one. No, but Jacob and I talk all the time about how much he loves James Bond. It's not a good James Bond movie, but still. So it's Live and Let Die, Hard Rain, Man on the Moon, Over Endor, or whatever you fucking said? Parador.

Parador? Okay. They live. Yeah. Why did you read the whole thing? Why'd you read the whole thing? Why'd you say the whole thing and then check on they at the end? You said we have a ton of time to fill.

Alright, Mookie. Mookie needs one that ends with they. Or starts with door, right? Or starts with door. Okay. They live and let die hard rain man. Oh, shit. On the moon.

Oh, man. On the moon over para doors. Nice. Wow. All of our stones in the door. We take out the A on this game, Jacob. Okay. I've never played this game before.

Yeah. You're great at it. You're a natural. It's a game that we play sometimes, but we can only play it when we have great guests. Not great guests, but guests that can... Guests that can... absorb and understand

a confusing game. Taylor, do you have anything to end with they or begin with doors? Just that fucking S. Doors. Sorry, man. Can it just be any movie with an S that starts?

No. That'd be fun, though, to go with, there's that movie about snakes called doors. Just add like three more S's

on the end. If you had thought of it, I would have accepted it. Doors, snakes on a plane. Yeah,

it might be the end of this. Yeah. Now the point is to end it, right? Oh yeah. To stump

the next broken. You want to have a winner, yeah, but it's also fun when it goes a long way. This is a pretty

good length one though, but doors, raise your hand if you got one for doors. I don't think, I think that's a real tough one. And obviously there's no movie that ends in they. Blank they. Right?

The end of the word. The syllable they? Like Carthay? Yeah, okay. Or they live. What did you say, Mook? No, it's a bad thing? I was just saying they live, but if they'll, like, T-H-E-Y apostrophe L-L.

I mean, it's... That doesn't do anything. I'm just expanding. You need something before they. I might get an earful from a listener or something, but I think that's... I think we're done. Yes.

I mean, there's like 400 people in here, and if nobody else can think of it, then... Who said doors? Who added doors? Mookie wins. Bill, the title. It's his first time on this show, and he wins Bill, the title.

Congratulations. That's pretty awesome. All right, we have 11 minutes to play Last Man Stanton. And I didn't get a suggestion from anyone on the internet today, so we're going to play Last Mash Stanton. And here's how it works, Mookie. You're going to go first. What order were we going that last time?

So come back to Mark, right? Yes. Switch the order around? No. Oh, yes, to switch it. Yeah. So, Mookie, we'll start with you, then we come back to Mark, right? Yes. To switch the order around? No. Oh, yes. To switch it. Yeah. So Mookie, we'll start with you, then we'll go to Mark and down the line. And the idea is, you have to name, I'm going to name two performers, movie

people, people who've been in movies. You have to name movies that either one of them have been in, take turns. If you can't think of one, you're out. And you have one lifeline, and that's the person whose name tag you chose. So you can turn to Nicole at any you're out. You have one lifeline, and that's the person whose name tag you chose. You can turn to Nicole at any point and say, help me out, Nicole. And same with

Ben for Taylor and Jew Guy for Jacob. What's your name? Jason. Sounds like Jew Guy. Since they're both on it, can the shicks help? Because both their names are on the thing. No, she can't help.

And Liz for the... for Mark. All right. The names are Andy, Dick Van Dyke. So it's the films of Andy, Dick or Dick Van Dyke. Yeah, designed to be able to

So just name a movie that one of them has been in. Either one, yeah. Okay. Starting with you, Mookie. Let's say In the Army Now. Yeah. Starting the great Dick Van Dyke.

Yeah, Andy Dick co-starred with Pauly Shore in that. Mark? Mary Poppins. Mm-hmm. Most convincing British Cockney accent by Dick Van Dyke in the history of film. Really?

I heard, yeah. I got to do a Cockney then. They did it. Oh, I'm sure you'd be great. You want to try it right now? Oh, it's fucking good. Say something about, like, say, chim-chim-chir-ree. Okay. Chum-chum-chir-ree. They did it. Oh, I'm sure you'd be great. You want to try it right now? Oh, it's fucking good. Say something about, like, say, Chim Chim Cherie.

Okay. Chim Chim Cherie. Fucking nailed it. First time out of the game. Told you, dude. You're the most natural actor of everyone. Hold it, hold it. I know that anyway.

That silhouette is moving. You got it right the first time. I know, dude, but now I'm, like, in it right now. I'm fucking in it. I like who I am. I like what I fucking do. Stop grabbing your dick while you do it.

It's like my worry stone. Jacob. I'm sorry, worry boulder. Jacob. I feel like either one of these would have been the worst name

I've ever played on the show. Really? Yeah, they're both kind of tough names. And together doesn't help at all. But, you know, you've seen them in movies, right? Night at the Museum, and I'm probably done.

Yeah, that's correct. Yeah, Night at the Museum. Yeah, and you got your lifeline, and you can also listen to the other players and have them say things that lead you to other answers, like Night at the Museum to the other players and have them say things that lead you to other answers. Like Night at the Museum might help other players.

But I don't know if Andy Dick was in all three of them. Taylor? It's going to be great when it doesn't. No, I'm not even going to try that. I'm going to go with old school. Yes. Andy Dick. Teaching blowjobs.

He gives blowjob classes. On carrots. Mookie. I'm going to feel really bad if this is wrong. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Yeah. Bong Bong connection there. Based on Ian Fleming book.

Yeah. I love it when they all stand around singing about how much they love that car and then they fuck the exhaust pipe. Same guy who wrote James Bond. Same guy who created James Bond created Gigi Payne, man. All right, Mark.

Bad knobs and broomsticks. Who's in that? Dick Van Dyke. Thanks for playing, Jacob. He's not in it? No. Fuck. Did you confuse him with Angela Lansbury?

No, I just thought he was in it. I guess I was thinking of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and recategorized it in my fucking hat. I love that movie because there's a big four-poster bed and there's a knob that's magical on one of the corners of the bed and the little kid in the movie goes, take us to Nambubu, Nob.

And then they go to a place where there's cartoon animals playing soccer. All right, Jacob. I'm like already on the ropes. Yeah, you could use your lifeline, but Mark Wahlberg, he doesn't believe in lifelines. How are you guys feeling? Don't say anything yet.

How are you guys feeling? We can't ask for time. I just want to know how they're feeling before I have to wager my own guess. Well, if you don't have a guess, do you have a guess? Yeah, I can guess on some animation. Yeah, go ahead and guess.

I don't know for sure. Do you have a for sure? Don't look to the sixes. He says they have one. I don't know why anybody wouldn't have one. It's two people that were both in, combined, they've been in a hundred movies. I just don't know,

I don't know either of their repertoire. Liz, did you have one? Good. She didn't even have one, Todd. Perfect. They hate both those guys in Australia. They have no interest in Dick Down Under. Whose turn is it?

It's mine still. You're done. No, you're done. You either use your lifeline or you're done. Oh, well, I'm going to just guess Zoolander. Was Andy Dick in Zoolander? Did he have a small part in that? Oh, he probably did.

That's why. Did he? Okay. I've never seen the movie. Good job. I figured he would be in it. Great job. Taylor.

Ben, you got anything? Night at the Roxbury? That's a great fucking poll. That's a good... Night at the Roxbury is a a great fucking poll that's a good Night at the Roxbury is a reasonable guess but I don't think it's true

Andy did Andy did yeah I didn't think he'd say Night at the Roxbury oh that's where I was going with that

oh man nobody seems to be backing that up audibly in the audience so I don't think it's true you have anything else Taylor

let's Night at the Museum 2 full title Another Night in the audience, so I don't think it was true. Do you have anything else, Taylor? Night at the Museum 2. Full title? Another Night. I don't fucking know. That's not it, and I don't even know if Dick Van Dyke was in any of the sequels.

Mookie? The Cable Guy. Yes. Andy Dix Played small parts In so many Fucking movies I'm out You're out really

Yeah Oh you're already out Yeah Oh all the guys are out Mookie's our winner I'm not out Oh yeah you got Zoolander No I want Mookie

To be the winner Yeah Fuck yeah dude That's fucking right All that kills your streak That's what you get For committing to vote dude You win shit

Now maybe I will No it's Jacob's turn Oh Damn it Really Still vote dude Still vote Fucking anti-semites That's what you get for committing to vote, dude. You win, Shay. Now maybe I will. No, it's Jacob's turn. Oh, damn it. Still vote, dude. Still vote. Fucking anti-Semites. Everybody else, you don't have another one, do you? Well.

Are you going to go to your lifeline? Like, why do I have to beg you to play this fucking game? What do you guys have? I'm being told bye-bye birdie. Bye-bye birdie. I'm being told bye-bye birdie. I'm being told bye-bye birdie. He admitted he didn't know while giving an answer. I'm going to say bye-bye birdie.

Who told you? His Gentile wife told him. After you said, hey, can the wife help out? And I said no. I didn't know. What? Her name's on the name? I don't give a fuck. I said no.

And then the three of you proceed to do it anyway. He said bye-bye birdie. I don't give a fuck. I said no. Well, I didn't see. And then the three of you proceed to do it anyway. He said by the birdie. I'm just assuming that's where it came from because I'm assuming all the information he knows

comes from his gentle. Am I the only person that feels a punch coming? Am I the only person that feels a punch coming? You don't have to punch anybody, Mark. Damn it.

All right, Mookie, you got another one? Because that'll send this thing to bed because Jacob doesn't have shit. I can guess Andy Dix all day. He's affiliated with a certain group of people. He sure is.

Yeah, that's what I'm You're working on it? Yeah. Do you want to go to Nicole? Well, I just we just made eye contact and she said I got one.

She's got one. Now, she says it. Can I choose whether to use it or not? Okay. Okay, Father of the Bride, but I'm not sure. She's saying Father of the Bride, but she's not sure. For Dick Van Dyke? No.

For... Are you thinking of... Andy Dick. You're thinking of how Martin Short plays kind of an Andy Dick kind of character. That's what I am. And with that, the audience learned how hard it is. Welcome to the show,

motherfuckers. And tell me you haven't seen Murder, She Wrote and think it's Dick Van Dyke. Weekly. A lot of chimneys we've are doing Cabot Cove. I'm gonna take a guess and say oh, I like this. Reality Bites.

Oh, Andy Dick is in that. This motherfucker. Colt Starr. Colt Starr he runs with. Ben Stiller's show. It's around the same time and they all work in cahoots. Cult. Ben Stiller show. Yeah. It was around the same time and they all were in cahoots.

Garofalo's in it. Yeah. I think Andy Dick had a small part in Half Baked. Anybody? Anybody? You thinking of

Jon Stewart? No. You thinking of Dave Chappelle? Steven Wright is in there. Bob Saget. I know who fucking Bob Saget is. I'm not thinking.

Maybe you're thinking of Laura Silverman. Yeah, might have been her. Jim Brewer. Did he not have a small part in it? Did he not show up

in that fit? I don't, no one is, you know, trying to confirm that for you. I don't know if it's because

they don't like you. People don't like me. That's what it is. I'm wearing a yarmulke if you hadn't noticed. All right. Mookie is our winner! I'm not even going to ask for more movies from those two people because it's embarrassing that there's so many more. Mystery men?

It's ridiculous. I just said I'm not going to ask for any more. Oh, I volunteered. Road trip. Okay, so, so many Dick Van Dykes. When I was a kid, I loved Never a Dull Moment. Like, at the end of the movie, there's a scene where he's being chased around

by some bad guys in a modern art museum. So there's lots of wacky set pieces where they're fucking shooting at him while he's dodging aroundy set pieces where they're fucking shooting at him while he's dodging around between art pieces. Did they make a Diagnosis Murder movie?

No, but that was his show. You're right. Good job, Mark. Thanks, Doug. When does... You want to plug anything? Coming out next week. Which, what?

Ted 3? Patriot's Day. Oh, same thing. Yeah, people go check that out. It's a really, really good fucking movie. It's not the same thing. His movie's very serious that out. It's a really, really good fucking movie. It's not the same thing.

His movie's very serious. Yeah, it's a really, really good movie. People should really come see it. It's going to be fucking phenomenal. Other than that, I'm sure I'm on your fucking TV. I'm an important person, so watch that. Oh, just turn on TV? Yeah. Other than that, I'll probably be dropping by a show here later today.

All right. Yeah, literally after this show. Oh, you're going to come by the next show? The next show, yeah, literally. Stick around. I'm going to drop in, say hello, make some normal people feel good about themselves. You're all welcome.

That's great. Yeah. All right, thanks. Jacob, what are you looking for in your phone? I'm just looking at the half-baked on MTV. Oh, my gosh. And he's not in it? No, he's not.

Yeah. All right, what do you got to plug? I keep plugging the same thing, but I've been on recently, so I'm going to plug my San Francisco Sketch Fest shows with my friend Kasim Bentley. We're doing this thing. SF Sketch Fest in January. Do you know the date?

I don't know the date. Go to sfsketchfest.com I'm doing mine too. Sorry, I forgot about that. What's that? You're going to be at SF Sketch Fest? Yeah, dude. I'm trying to get the address for you. I'm doing mine, too. Sorry, I forgot about that. What's that? Oh, you're going to be an SF sketch fan? Yeah, dude. I'm doing shows.

Two nights in a row. Really? 27, 28. The Wahlberg Solution, motherfuckers. Come on out to that shit. I will save your fucking life. Do you want to do a guest book? Fuck yeah, dude.

I'll drop in and save your show. Thanks, man. Thanks, man. I've been doing it for Donnie for 38 fucking years. He just saves things. He saved Deepwater Horizon. Oh my God, did you see the trailer for the next Transformers? Saved yourself in Long Survivor.

Oh my God, I saved myself for last. Taylor Rizzo, where can people see you? You know, Twitter. You do a lot of Periscopes. Yeah, I do a lot of Periscopes. You call it the mediocre smoker. Yep, I do a lot of dabbing on there. Come watch lot of periscopes You call it a mediocre smoker Yep I do a lot of dabbing on there Come watch me get high

It'll be fun That's cool Yeah follow my Twitter At Taylor Rizzo And follow the link to my album Potential Alright That's good

Thanks dude And Mookie is Mookie Blakelock Is the One of the stars of Andy Richter's Home for the Holidays Which is available on CISO S-E-E-S-O.

And we always have... Dot C-O-M. Yeah, we always have deals where if you go and put my name, D-O-U-G, in their little box there, use the code Doug, you get some sort of discount or something. And I'm more specific about it in the ads we do on the show. What else you got coming up? You do shows here in Los Angeles

that people can come see? Sure, yeah. Do you feel like you have to make shit up now? If you can't get tickets to Doug's show on Thursday night, come here. Wait, wait, wait! No competing shows with my show Thursday night. Doug's show on Thursday night, come here. Wait, wait, wait. No competing shows with my show Thursday night.

What's going on here Thursday? Me and Alan McLeod from You're the Worst are doing an improv show. I love that guy. He's great. Go to that instead of Doug Lo's movies where there will be movie stars. If you can't get a ticket. Watch these guys take tv over here or no that's great uh you know there's plenty of the you know two small theaters let's pack

them both yeah let's make a pledge to pack them both i'm gonna throw a show on thursday god damn you can i be on your show jacob yeah you can get a good spot thank god all right taylor and uh jacob passed me your name tags and that worked out great that mookie won because we already know on your show, Jacob? Yeah, you can get a good spot. Thank God. All right, Taylor and Jacob passed me your name tags. And that worked out great that Mookie won because we already know Leanne is a shithead.

Your name tag... Sorry about that again. Taylor, thank you. Thank you very much. I don't think he knows what's supposed to be on there. But I got a good idea what to say.

And there's no shithead on this this either maybe it's the wife you don't want to write in your in your yarmulke do you what is it just say it just say it quietly what you want to write people that don't vote oh i like that there you go mookie people who oh it was in your goddamn hands what are you an nfl player? Great throw, Doug. For the listener at home, you fucking tossed that shit. I already forgot what he said. Oh, I got it. I'm good. One more time for all of my guests,

Mark Wahlberg, Jacob Zero, Taylor Rizzo, and Mookie Blankock. And as always, human centipedes with Mookie Blankock. And as always, human centipedes are a shit face ass stream. People who didn't vote are a shithead. And, what's this word? I thought casty. Cacti.

Cacti. That looks like Dick Van Dyke to me. She says it's cacti. The prickly pear cacti at Runyon Canyon that did not catch me when I slipped. It's a shithead. It's a shithead. How dare you? I haven't said it's a shithead. when I slipped.

It's a shithead. It's a shithead! How dare you! I haven't said it's a shithead! You're fired! There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies! Thanks you guys!