Doug Loves Movies - Moshe Kasher, Kevin Avery, and Tony Camin Guest

Episode Date: December 30, 2013

Live from the Punchline in Sacramento, CA, Doug welcomes comedians Moshe Kasher, Kevin Avery, and Tony Camin to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see But Doug loves movies Hey everybody! Hey everybody! Hey, everybody. You know how this goes. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.

I knew you guys were going to be solid. I knew that was going to be sweet. Coming to you once again, so you guys have had practice From the Sacramento Punchline On Monday, December 30th And this is the last show Where I will be saying Two Oceans 13

Let me see your name tag, Zach I know you brought some I see baked goods right away That say What's your name tag, Zach. I know you brought some. I see baked goods right away that say... What's your name? Sojourner. Sojourner? You go on a lot of trips? And Sojourner loves Doug on brownies.

Are they medicated or regular? Regular. Regular. Okay, that's cool. I don't judge her for that. Is your name Mike the guy with the magic mic poster with my head superimposed on

Channing Tatum and then you've also attached candy to it in case all the panelists are men and they don't want to pick a male strip review name tag they'll get some candy. And there's

candy on the Star Trek Generations poster too. You guys are figuring out how to bribe people. What's that cake or whatever? Nick Cage cake. Because your name is Nick? It's Rudy.

It's Rudy? Because your name is Nick? It's Rudy. It's Rudy? Good call. Rudy made a Nick Cage cake. It's too obvious. What would a guy named Rudy do for a movie-related name tag? Why take the easy route?

This dude's got from Justin to Kelly. It's already got my signature on it. So I assume you brought that last time we did this here. And your name is Justin or Kelly. Which one? Justin? Okay. It's too bad

you weren were dating Kelly instead of sojourney Gabe what does that mean Gabe it's Stallone and Cliffhanger

was his name Gabe in that wow alright if you say so and what's that? Wow. Alright. If you say so. And what's that right next to you? What does that say? Can you hold up a little bit higher? It says

Spencenator. Dougment Day. Because your name is Spence? Spencer. Okay. And my name is Doug. So you worked it all out. Is that my face on the Terminator? No, that's my face. Your face. Okay. And my name is Doug. So you worked it all out. Is that my face on the Terminator? Your face. Okay. I apologize. I'm so full of hubris. I assume every name tag has my face on it.

Well, there's lots of great ones that I can't see. Oh my God. There's a guy with a little tiny microwave oven that's got the cast of American Hustle on it. And it says Science Oven. And I saw American Hustle today. And Science Oven is the best part of that movie. But they keep saying Science Oven over and over again because microwaves were so new. Like when microwaves were new, we all went, oh, what's a microwave? Oh, that's a microwave?

Look, there's a microwave. Nobody fucking said science oven to describe a microwave. And they say it over and over again, which is hilarious in the movie and also a great name tag. But what's your name? American Michael. American Michael. Okay.

My name's Science. Yeah yeah if your name was science that would have been more perfect but uh you could go ahead and put it down i don't know if any of the panelists have seen american hustle but if if i were picking name tags i would i would certainly pick that one um vegas or people visiting vegas Friday, January 17th. I'll be at the 25th Hour Theater. It's off the strip. I don't know. It's new. I don't know if you'll be able to find it.

But if you go to douglosmovies.com for the link, that should help you out. And then other tour dates are also at douglosmovies.com. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. It's intense. You know, sometimes I bring a lot of stuff. Not sure if the guests will bring a lot of stuff, and then they bring a lot of stuff,

and then we've got a big bag of stuff. I'm finally getting rid of, I think this is the next to the last of these maybe, posters from my new friends at Cute Streak Designs, at Cute Streak on Twitter. And this one is a big Lebowski poster. And what does it say on it? It says, nice marmot.

And then it's got a marmot on it. Yeah, it's pretty cool. They do good stuff. So go to their Etsy store and look at the other posters that they made and buy them if that's what you're into. We've got some flip-flops. It's the perfect season for it. we've got some flip-flops.

It's the perfect season for it. It's California, and we're having, like, 75-degree days in the middle of winter, so you've got to have your flip-flops. And then this shirt that we'll have explained further when that guest gets out here. I brought a calendar that was sent to me. It's called Dr. Profane's 2014 Pinup Calendar and Comic. It's a combination comic book and calendar.

It's pretty cool. I mean, not cool enough for me to keep. But it's pretty sweet. And, oh, this is interesting. I got a product called Squelch

the smell remover and it's a little canister that supposedly will help me remove whatever smell I leave behind in my hotel room stays but they also included a nice hand towel

that says squelch on it and I don't need a hand towel because I'melch on it. And I don't need a hand towel because I'm not a black comedian. And look at me. I'm wearing a heavy coat and a hoodie and I'm sitting under the hot lights in Sacramento. No sweat. I'm doing alright.

We got a copy of Gateway, Doug. This is really cool. Of course, I'm going on the Weezer cruise again, the second Weezer cruise out of Florida in February, and I think there's still some cabins available if you want to jump on board with me. But for someone tonight is going to get

a copy of their album Hurley, personally signed by all the bands. This isn't like some stamp or something. This is signed by everybody in Weezer. And a Douglas Movies t-shirt. Yeah, and I think there's more that's going to be in the prize bag when I get one of my guests up here. Please give a big warm welcome to my friends

Kevin Avery, Tony Kameen, and Moshe Kasher. Oh, thank you. Can we bring on a vape pen? Yeah, I think we can. Everyone's cool if we hit a vape pen during the show, right? Totes legal. Totes legal. That'd be so awesome if everybody was like, No, not in Sacramento, Doug. It was in that building behind us that Arnold Schwarzenegger quietly made marijuana.

And he'll be back. He'll be back. He decriminalized it or whatever. He just made it a citational offense. You're thinking of giving me the vape pen. That's my Schwarzenegger impression, everybody. Thanks so much. Do Pete Wilson.

Do Pete Wilson. Oh, I don't like black people. Well done. Good. Well done. Good. No, that wasn't Pete Wilson. I'm just saying I don't like black people.

He's not black. No, I know. I believe you. He's got black goals. He's not black. I am black. I have the talent. Tell it to your people. He's not black. No, I know. I believed you. He's got black goals. He's not black. I am black. I have the talent. Tell it to your people.

All right, you guys. Settle down. You guys are already out of control. Speak only when spoken to. Tony Kameen is here, everybody. And he is a first time. We have two first time Doug Loves Movies guests tonight. Actually, Doug,

I did it with you and Amy Schumer on Red Dog Radio once. Yeah, we were on the radio and they just sort of said, let's do the Leonard Maltin game or whatever. Yeah, so I did a halfie. All right.

You were on Red Dog Radio? Humblebrag.org. That's really cool, man. Thanks, Moosh. I think it's Raw Dog. Yeah, maybe it is. I don't think it's Raw Dog. Yeah, maybe it is. I don't think it's Red Dog. Maybe it is.

Tony and I, we co-wrote and appeared together in the Marijuana Logs. That took the world by storm. That's why you have to tell them that we took the world by storm. Yeah, they'll believe it It was pretty successful You guys buy it? We did a few shows We performed it in this very club A few times

Fucking Balls to the wall Yeah I'll say I haven't had many guests Come up on stage With a shot in their hands Along with a beer And a vape pen.

Yeah. Which I humbly gave to my host. Yeah, I'm hanging on to that. That's called class. I'm keeping it close. This is a fun thing I like to do. I like to take a hit from a vape pen. You never seen somebody smoke weed before?

Oh my god, it's like Gandalf. Oh my god. That must make your cocktail taste delicious. Oh, so good. So good to have a tiny little cold cauldron of vodka. That's a grape ape vape pen, so you want to mix it with something that goes with grape.

Yeah, yeah, vodka and grape flavor. Yeah, that's for like the high-tech current weed smoker that misses the taste of bong water but doesn't have a bong anymore. Kevin Avery is here, ladies and gentlemen. Kevin Avery. Hey, everybody. Keep him Avery-lated. How are you? Hey there.

Just back from New York City, right? Yeah, kind of, yeah. Yeah, just back. And you wore a towel on your shoulder because you're a black comedian. Yeah, you know. You're not. You don't have a towel nearby when you do shows, do you? Yes, he absolutely does.

Is that really your thing? I almost, I was gonna bring it as a joke because Moshe always gives me shit about it, but I used to, now I bring it on stage and I don't use it anymore, but I used to sweat like a motherfucker. So it's just there for security? Now it's just tradition. How do you use it anymore. I used to sweat like a motherfucker. So it's just there for security? How do you stop sweating? That's an awesome thing to think about, a black guy with a security blankie.

It just sits up there on the thing and once in a while I look at it and reflect. Do you sleep with a little towel? Only on the rough days. Like tonight. Yeah, exactly. And Moshe, you have a little towel on your head. No, that's called a hat, Tony. It's a hat.

It's a traditional head cover. Something different. It's a yarmulke towel. And that's right. Moshe Kasher's here, everybody. Leonard Maltin game phenom. Yeah. The default champion.

Are you good at that game? That's a hard game. I'm not good at that game. No. I had dinner with Doug, and he said Leonard Maltin is not even good at that Leonard Maltin game. No, he's not. But I would say tonight, if you're in the audience, hope that Kevin Avery picks your name tag. Because that's where I think it's going to go. Because Kevin's a big film buff.

I do see a lot of movies. I feel like I might be one of those people that knows a lot of one of those people. The blacks. Who sees a lot of movies but then blanks out on that. We'll see. You saw Walter Mitty today?

I did. Did you yell out look out Walter at any point? of movies but then blanks out on that we'll see you saw walter middy today i did did you ever did you yell out look out walter at any point no what the fuck would i first of all don't go in there walter oh it was just a fantasy it's all good keep going walter i don't get any of those jokes i uh you have to not be from the South Bay to get those jokes. I am though. Let me walk you through it, Tony. Black people yell out shit

during movies. Right. And Walter Mitty's a movie where he probably goes in and he probably does things he probably shouldn't. Yeah. There's a lot of running

and jumping and shit you should look out for. I don't subscribe to racial paradigms. Well, go see a movie in Brooklyn and then let me know how you feel about it. Dude, I

just came from Brooklyn after 10 years of hardcore fucking living. And I did, but I only went to the really good theaters. Oh, yeah. I was on my way up here and I stopped at the drive-thru Starbucks on the way here. Here's how sick, bro Sacramento is. Sick, bro.

I pulled up and the dude who was giving me my coffee, his first question was, oh, sweet, where'd you get your work done, bro? And I was like, what? And he was talking about my tattoos on my arm, but like, I don't have tattoos on my arm. Where'd you get that hairy arm look over at Chewbacca's?

Oh, who did your work? Oh, God, the Lord, bro. Lord himself. Sick sweater, bro. Lord himself. Sick sweater, bruh. And this was just at the speaker window. That's amazing. And he didn't, he didn't, yeah, there was darkness involved. He still could see it.

That's before the window won. Impressive. So, Kevin, what's with your prizes that you brought? You brought a copy of one of your albums called Hardcore. And a towel for a lucky customer. That's right. You brought flip-flops? Those are flip-flops.

Tell the story. Well, so those are Chuck Lorre's flip-flops that he auctioned off. OMG. Mike and Molly in the house. Two and a half flops. Two and a half flops right there. Big bang flops. That were won by comedian Emily Heller and passed down to me.

Why'd you take them, first of all? Why did she take them? No, why did you say, she's like, I wore these ones. Do you want them? And you're like, yeah, I want your once used flip flops. She's a good saleswoman. I don't fucking know.

They're flip flops, man. Come on. That's cool. They're flip flops. Second item. And you brought a shirt from Totally Biased with W. Kamara Bell. Great show,

great show. Hey, thanks, man. Yeah. So, it's a, it's a... Lindsay West in the house. That's a This End Uppity shirt. And, yeah, white people, if you throw that on, just be aware you might get some blowback.

But enjoy it, enjoy it. That is so funny to bring a shirt that only a black dude could wear to a Doug Loves movies. Will Sacramento accept the challenge? Where's the black guy at? I think I saw one earlier. Oh, no. It was you, Kevin.

Who will be the blackest white? You could literally say that at any time, anywhere in Sacramento, and it would be the same Democrat. Where's the black guy? I think I saw one. Oh, it's Sebo. It would just be in Gaio. Where's the black guy? I think I saw one. Oh, it's C-Bo. It would just be in Gaio. It's in Gaio. Aww.

He's my friend. It's cool. And Moshe, you brought... I brought three soda pops. You brought soda pops? Yeah, for the... For the winner? Yeah, just in case there are some kids here.

I thought... It's like growing up with deaf and hairy person sodas. Are you just calling into very specific information about my life? We got to explain the story. But anyway, yeah, these are three fine sodas. This is a key lime cream soda. And I had a soda party the other night. This is what happens when you get sober when you're still cool

is that you stop being cool and do things like I had a soda pop party and I went to a party where there were adults and they all smoked weed and drank the whole time and me and my friend's 13-year-old son just drank soda in the corner. Isn't that the same as not having a party? Yeah, sort of.

Except that I did get to suck the 13-year-old's dick, so that was good. So that's a big plus. Just kidding, Chris. I didn't do that. Just kidding, society. Maybe not.

And I have some movies that my wife can bring over. Gravity. That would have been so... Didn't I remind you to bring something to give away? Yeah, but that was like 10 minutes ago. I'll have her bring some over.

But you shouldn't give away screeners anyway, because that's like... Yeah, they're cool. No. I don't want you to get in trouble, Tony. There's so many stuff in this giveaway. I'm not in the guild anymore. She is, so she'll get in trouble.

You can... Oh, sweet. For your prize that you can contribute tonight, you can agree to smoke weed with the winner outside in the parking lot after the show. Okay. Yeah. I know I'm going to contribute that.

But these are good sodas, man. These are real good sodas. This is a real good nickel, shiny. We've got a key lime cream going on. We've got a ginger ale and a ginger brew. Two totally different things. Not everybody knows that. I'm holding the ginger brew and it looks good.

How do you keep them cold? Are these greener sodas? You can use ice. You can use refrigeration. There's a lot of different options. You make those sound so like such a premium when they're fucking sodas. They're good sodas, guys. Whoa.

Gandalf has returned. There's some kind of dry ice involved in that trip. Have you boys been to the cinema lately? That was like Gandalf and Bane mixed together. I like that. Everything I do has got a little Bane in it.

Can't help it because I was born in darkness. In Doug's Hobbit movie, Gandalf breaks Bilbo's back. Hey, fellas, look at that humdinger of a slice of cake on that table. That's a name tag. You could pick that when the time comes. I cannot stop looking at it. That's a humdinger of a slice. Who made that?

Did you make it? Yeah, yeah. Sojourner made it. Sojourner. Your name is Sojourner? For real? Is that the truth? Is that the Sojourner truth?

Is that from Never Ending Story or some shit? Well done. Someone paid attention during February. Thank you so much. Sojourner. Yeah, I know two things from February. I know Sojourner Truth. That's one who sojourns.

Hey, let me do my punchlines. Sorry. I know Sojourner Truth and Sojourner Towel. Those are the two things. That was worth waiting for. Well, you might have fucked the rhythm up a little bit. Sorry, audience. Look, I get that it's your first podcast, Tony.

That's my 80s shit I'm going to get to later. This is not Red Dog Radio, dude. Rod. Anyway, that's a lovely cake. I just wanted to, yeah. And what is your husband or boyfriend's name? Wait, don't interview the crowd, Tony. I got this.

Do your crowd work, wasting time during your own sets. I'll do it during my little, my little my little Malton game. Let's talk about movies, Tony. Have you been to the movies lately? Yeah, I have.

What'd you see? I saw Blue Jasmine. Yeah. I saw Inside Llewyn Davis. Are you just going to give us a list?

I saw Inside Llewyn Davis. Yeah. Tell us about these movies. Both of them? Yeah. Well, Gravity's okay if you like space. Okay, you hadn't mentioned Gravity yet. I didn't say anything about Gravity. What the hell?

No, I just wanted to put this down. Why are you getting up? I just wanted to put that down. That's not even your table, though. I know, but they'll watch it. They paid for that. Tony, what movies did you see? I saw Frozen. We're not talking to you. I saw Frozen.

You didn't see Frozen. And Llewyn Davis, Gravity, and American Hustle. Those are the three I've seen recently. What did you think of American Hustle? There's a gentleman over here that brought a science oven. I actually liked it. It's on his name tag. I liked it.

I liked it. Which is a reference from that film. I enjoyed it. Yeah? Yeah. I was let down by it a science oven. I actually liked it. It's got his name tag. I liked it. I liked it. Which is a reference from that film. I enjoyed it. Yeah? Yeah. I was let down by it a little bit. But I was at my mom's house at 1 a.m. on Christmas night

and everybody went to sleep so I was like so thankful for it. Oh, you watched a screener? Yeah. Oh, okay. Again with the screener. Sorry. Industry 2.

Yeah. I was a little drunk. I went to the cinema today and I watched it and I liked it but I just I wanted more from it I don't know what was missing

I like the performances one of those what I thought was cool about American Hustle was that you knew a con was coming but it was so scripted like so well

that you didn't when something happens you didn't see it coming at all like you didn't know when the con was coming I was all who's zooming who yeah the twist the twist is pretty good but it's also I expected to be more twisty throughout when something happens, you didn't see it coming at all. Like, you didn't know when the conversation was coming. I was all, who's zooming who?

Yeah, the twist is pretty good, but it's also, I expected it to be more twisty throughout, and it's more like just one big twist. I thought it was Bradley Cooper's best acting. He's good in it. He's good in it. I will give him that. Like, did you want it to be more heisty, almost? Or more Scorsese, Paul Thomas Anderson-y.

Like, I just... Okay. It really reminded me of Goodfellas and Boogie Nights in the trailer. And then when you go, it's kind of a different animal, which is cool, but it just wasn't... I just didn't like it as much as I hoped I would.

I don't want to shit on it too much because I think people will enjoy it. I don't think it was a poor film, but I'm in the same boat. It could have been, but I still was happy for what I got. There's a bunch of interesting characters, but I thought the script and the plot twist and stuff, I thought all of it could have been more

interesting. I thought the twist was crazy. I couldn't believe that Rosebud was his sled the whole time. And that Amy Adams was a man. No, that's Marion Davis' vagina, actually. What have you seen, Kevin? You saw Walter Mitty just tonight? Just tonight, fresh off the...

Just moments ago. Just moments ago. I really liked it. I saw the... Did you see it under mitigating circumstances? Indeed I did. And wasn't Mitty High School pretty close to you? Middie High School was pretty close.

Holy shit, my whole world has been flipped upside down. It feels like Ben Stiller doing a Spike Jonze movie to me, or, you know, Kaufman. Like, it seems like it's... But I don't think it was as weird as that. It could have been a little bit weird. I liked it. I liked it a lot. But It could have been a little bit weird. I liked it. I liked it a lot.

But it could have been a little weirder. Yeah. But it's a very sweet movie. I liked it. I saw The Hobbit. Speaking of Ben Stiller. Yeah. Snap-a-doodle-doo.

I don't agree with that statement. Well, I'm just saying he's short and a brunette. I'm a hobbit, too. Are you tall? Hobbit 2, The Desolation of Smaug. Yes. Yeah, I like that. It's got a lot of good action.

What's-his-name Legolas really goes to town on a bunch of orcs. It's pretty entertaining. Legolas does not fuck around. And what's-her-face? She's kind of badass. Evangeline Lilly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's really good at it? She's kind of badass. Evangeline Lilly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's really good at it.

She's a nice addition. It'll be nice to see her in the next one. Spoiler, sorry. Is that a spoiler? I just gave away she doesn't die. Yeah. It's kind of a spoiler in an adventure film where people's lives are in danger the whole time.

Well, to be honest, in Tolkien's work, if a major character dies, it does not matter. He can come back in the next book. It's true. Strictly for the nerds out there, but that's accurate. And in his case, this character isn't even from his books. So she's really playing fast and loose. It was a character created just for this movie.

Is it actually the girl from Lost who just shows up? It's Kate. In Middle Earth? It's Kate. Yeah, they're just running around, and she's fighting this smog monster, and then they help her, and it's desolated. But there's also...

Do you guys know what we're talking about? I don't. They seem to be pretty much on the same page. Can we stick to Star Wars please I saw Star Wars oh me so horny years ago

and and then one more I'll say because everyone was talking about this article came out about it but the

was the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio Wolf of Wall Street I saw that Wolf of Wall Street you forgot the name of that already I forgot the fucking movie

I wanted to say The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again The Secret Wolf of Wall Street I saw that Wolf of Wall Street You forgot the name of that already I forgot the fucking movie I wanted to say The Secret Life of Walter Mitty again The Secret Wolf of Wall Street The Wolf of Wall Street Yeah and I really like that I thought that was the

I've seen a lot of movies in the last week and a half and that I think was the best one That's one of my favorites of the year for sure What did you think about that article though

I thought There was an article that came out that one of the character's daughters wrote this like scathing article. One of the

characters daughters? It's a true story. Like fan fiction shit or? No it's That would be so awesome. Please tell

the rest of it I just like the idea of somebody leaping into the fan fiction like just jumping on their laptop like it was a dark and stormy night Leonardo DiCaprio walked towards me his daughter removed her supple bodice I don't know if you can remove a bodice

but I guess she's mad she's the daughter of somebody that was involved in the thing, and he was a terrible dad. He went to prison, and she just basically was saying, you can't make a movie about this. It's exploitive, and I lost all this stuff. She just glorifies everything.

Right. It is amazing that in the movie, the main characters are robbing everybody blind and partying off of the proceeds, and I pretty much rooted for them the entire time like i didn't mind when he got busted later on in the movie or whatever but it's just like and it's inevitable thanks doug but it was more spoiler time something about how like nobody they're not going around murdering anybody kind of makes it all seem just so so polite and fun

but we root for the bad guy even when they do murder people. But they don't show scenes of people that are devastated by what they're doing. There's never a moment where you see somebody getting fucked over. It's all voiceless, nameless people over the phone. Yeah, that's true. So the movie is more fun than it should be. But fuck it. It is definitely a lot of fun.

Let's have some fun. Why not? I don't think it glorifies... I mean, there is so much excess in it, but it does... It really points to the fact that that's the downfall of these guys in that they're fucking idiots.

But yeah, you're right. That was the one thing they don't do is they don't show the people who are affected by their... It's a good lesson. It's a good... It teaches the strong lesson that if you get involved in crime and criminal operations,

as long as you're ready to rat out the people you were working with, you could probably avoid jail time. That's a good lesson to learn. Moshe, what have you seen lately? I saw American House. I saw Her, which I think is the best movie I've seen in years. That's good. It's really good, yeah.

I really loved it. I thought that perhaps without Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson, it might not have been as great as it is. Yeah, those were the main characters. Yeah, but some movies could have had a different actor. If somebody else played Luke Skywalker, I think Star Wars would have been pretty cool. No offense, Mark Hamill fans.

But in this particular case, I think that Joaquin Phoenix especially really sells the shit out of it. It's really cool. He's a really sympathetic character. For somebody that should be a sad sack that he just thinks a loser, he's pretty likable.

And that's Spike Jonze, and is that, who wrote that? Spike Jonze. Yeah, yeah, he did both. I filmed that. It was really good, and there's a way to make the movie

even more sort of interactive, because they don't do 3D, which is the only way I'll see films now, but unfortunately I did have to see her in 2D. But there's a scene where the voice and him have sex. She's just talking dirty and he jerks off. So in the theater, if you go ahead and jerk off yourself.

Legal. Jerk-o-vision, they call it. Jerk-o-vision. Legal only in screenings of her. Yeah. And then you scream, I am Joaquin Phoenix as you ejaculate. It's a good way to watch the film.

Double legal. Oh, man. I was watching a movie today called The Paperboy. Jerk off during that, too? What was going on? Or yesterday. I saw it yesterday. And there's a scene where Nicole Kidman visits John Cusack in prison,

and he's in cuffs, and she's in a dress, and he asks her to spread her legs open and remove her panties, and she does, and then the two of them both go at it. Two climaxes. But the best part about the scene is that there's three other men that are there to interview John Cusack with Nicole Kidman that all just watched that happen.

And one of them is Matthew McConaughey, and at one point he puts his hands over his lap like he's getting a boner watching these two do this. It's the craziest fucking movie. If what I just described sounds like fun to you... Visit your relative in prison.

Or watch The Paperboy. Or watch Dallas Buyers Club. Hey, got my shirt off. I'm Matthew McConaughey. Oh, I saw, yeah. Oh, that turned you on when Matthew McConaughey was dying of AIDS in that film? AIDS cocktail.

It's what's for dinner. A little bit. Hey, it's beef. It's what's for dinner. I'm Matthew McConaughey. Yeah. That was a good movie. He's really good in that. And so is Jared Leto. He's really good. Jared Leto is amazing in that.

Hate his band as much as you want, but he was fucking good in that. I can hate his band as much as I want. Feel free. Alright, well that covers that portion of the show. You know what that means. It's time for me to say, let the games begin. Good luck, fellas.

Good luck, guys. Godspeed. You say Godspeed? Yeah, I guess Godspeed. Okay, sure. Godspeed, everybody. Good luck. I say good luck because I'm an atheist.

Good luck. Sure. There's no pressure, really. But somebody is going to win all these fabulous prizes. Isn't that for the audience? That's a lot of fucking pressure. Somebody in the audience

is going to win. That's right. Or do we win? Or do one of us get to win? You don't win anything. I mean, bragging rights, I guess. All right. I'm a humble guy.

I can leave now. I'll be happy. Well. So will the audience. If you left now, I'd be happy. Oh, that was dead. No, Tony, this is the part where

everybody shows you their name tags, and I say, gentlemen, pick your name tags, and you go out into the audience. Oh, wait a minute. They get creative. Yeah, there's a lot of good ones. So while you guys go out and figure out which one you're going to choose, we'll go to these commercial messages.

We'll be right back. Who are you playing for, Tony? I'm playing for him. Justin. Who? Justin. Justin, and tell us about his name tag. This is an audio show.

Well, Justin's name tag is pretty cool. It's got some anime guy. It's anime, anime. It's got some... Anime? Is this Blade Runner? Why don't you tell about him, Justin? I don't know movies or shit.

He doesn't have the microphone. He's going to describe it. I believe this is Doug's favorite movies. Those are my favorite movies? Your favorite movies, correct. What do you got? Scott Pilgrim? Blade Runner? Kickass? Who's that next guy that's all blue?

I didn't know you were such a big fan of anime. That'd be Rushmore. What? Rushmore. Oh, Rushmore. Yeah, I like that. And then The Super. The Super.

Oh, Super. Just Super. Super. Yeah, yeah. The Super was Joe Pesci. The Super was a TV show, right? Or was that a... I think I picked the wrong guy.

I'm thinking of... I was thinking of the... I never heard of any of those movies. Except for Kick-Ass 2, which Tim Carey did not want to do press about. Good. You've retained some interesting information about that movie.

Give a little extra... Kevin, who are you playing for? Well, her, I can't... I think her name is Tech Six. That's what's on the thing. What? What's on the handle? Oh, I'm playing for Leia.

Leia? Leia or Leia? Leia. Leia, and she brought a gun that shoots little darts. Are these really coming out? It's to shoot movie questions. Yeah, you should... Can I shoot somebody?

Every time Tony speaks when he's not supposed to, you should shoot him. I'm aiming for the squirrel. Oh, wow. Are they all going to come out at the same time? You're going to shoot somebody? Is it one bullet at a time? Oh, this is a lawsuit.

They're little rubbery dart things. Oh, shit. Sorry. Sorry, buddy. Oh, I got him in the face. Oh, my bad. My bad. That's crazy.

I hope you like owning a new punchline, sir. They have little suction cups on the end of them, so you should shoot them as people wearing glasses. Tell the judge. It shot him right in the glasses. My bad. The podcast listeners won't be able to know, but Kevin turned the Nerf gun sideways.

Like my people do. They do that. Like I learned in Menace to Society. Why is two black guys holding guns sideways called a Mexican standoff? Isn't it? That confuses me.

He'll settle this. I think any two people with guns pointing at each other is called a Mexican standoff. And that's because Mexicans always have guns. Or standoffs. I thought they were

always standoffish. They're very cold people. Yes. Or standoffs. I thought they were always standoffish. They're very cold people. Very cold people. Who are you playing for, Moshe? I'm playing for the science oven. Science oven guy. American Michael. American Michael, yeah.

Oh, and there's another. I have a weapon as well. I can blind the audience with this horrible, obnoxious. Yeah, you can light them up. Let's go in that thing. Let's put stuff in that and send it to another future or something. Another future?

I have some weird beliefs. That's probably the funniest... funniest scene in that movie when Jennifer Lawrence uses the science oven. It's pretty hilarious. All right, let's get down to beeswax.

It's always the worst guests that try to keep the show moving along. Oh, man. That felt cocked and loaded from earlier in your relationship. No, I sincerely, I mean, it's great that Kevin could be here, but of course you know Natasha Leggero was going to be here. She was going to be here.

Pour a little liquor out. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, she died. Come on, that's Jameson's. Don't fuck around. No, she died, though. Pour some cheap beer on the floor. Pour a little liquor out. Yeah, pour it out into on, that's Jameson's. Don't fuck around. No, she died, though. Pour some shitty beer on the floor. Pour a little liquor out.

Yeah, pour it out into your mouth. Into my mouth. No, Natasha's in New York doing the ball drop with... Oh, that sounds... It sounds like what it is. That sounds like a suspicious excuse for her to... That is her business. She's like...

With Carson Daly, is that who she's on with? She's on with Carson Daly who she's on with? She's on with Carson Daly and Anthony Anderson and they're going to be wrapping up the new year. Anthony Anderson he'll be really quiet and calm I'm sure.

I'm sure Natasha will get a lot of jokes in. But good for her. So if you're at home tomorrow night watch Natasha with Carson Daly on NBC and if you're

in the San Francisco area, come see me and Moshe Kasher at the Knob Hill Masonic Temple along with a bunch of other dudes. Or me and Greg Proops. Tony Kameen and Greg Proops at the punchline. Or Kev. I'll be at the business in the Mission in San Francisco.

That's a great show. You're going to do what? The business. I'm going to do the business. You're going to give. Where the fuck is that? That's a great show. You're going to do what? The business. I'm going to do the business. You're going to give people the business? I'm giving people the business. Hey, you get out of here, kids. It's actually a great show. Scram, you.

It's not a happy new year. Get out of here. It's at the Dark Room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's at the Dark Room in San Francisco, 730. Early show. That's a fun show, too. And then I'll be hanging out with all these fools.

Yeah. Rehearsal. It's all about rehearsal, everybody. Well done. Well done. But also, yeah, you've assimilated nicely. You're almost white.

I think I need to get my towel again, Doug. I just bust your dick out. Yeah, that is, I'm sure that is far from right. There's my towel, motherfucker. Yeah, I'm sure that is far from the fucker. Also on the show with Moshe and I are Burt Kreischer and Rory Scoville

and Pete Holmes, Justin May Palumbo, Hannibal Buress, and Drennan Davis. It's going to be a really great show. And my kiss ticket flew to New York to do the ball drop to make Carson Daly's balls drop. So you be a really great show. And my kiss ticket flew to New York to do the ball drop to make Carson Daly's balls drop.

That's what you call your girlfriend? Your kiss ticket? Yeah, baby. What do you call a ticket to a kiss concert? Natasha Leggero? That's good. No, I mean, at midnight you're supposed to kiss someone. That's like a thing.

So I got nobody to kiss. I'm saying any one of you comes to the show. Anyone., you're supposed to kiss someone. That's like a thing. Sure. So I got nobody to kiss. I'm saying any one of you comes to the show. Anyone. Now you're de-selling it. Who do you think Natasha's going to kiss? Anthony Anderson? And Carson Daly at the same time. Oh, Jesus.

It's going to be good. But yeah. Okay, so girls, if you're at the show tomorrow night. I didn't say girls. Oh. Literally anyone. Oh, you're looking to trade up? Alright let's play some games

This first one is called How Much Did This Shit Make? And it's Thank you It's a game where You guys are going to bid On how much you think was made By a motion picture

During it's entire run at the domestic box office. Grocer net. Oh, that's a good question. That's a good. Hey, you're in the shark tank now, baby. What does it cost to sell? What does it cost to wholesale? Can we make these in China?

Is it proprietary? Because I love money. Let me say it again and see if then you can decide if it's gross or net on your own. The entire domestic box office take of this motion picture. Okay. So that would be gross.

I just want to say it was not the Jewish member that said gross or net. It was Tony Kameen. I stayed silent. I was thinking it. So I say what you think. Yeah. Supposedly, Three Men and a Baby was filmed partially in woodland outside of Sacramento.

I know. Is that part of the... The things you learn on the internet. Gamers. This is trivia. I thought that movie that part of the... The things you learn on the internet. Gamers. It's trivia. I thought that movie took place like in New York

or some shit but they filmed it partially in Woodland. So as a tribute to the good folks of Sacramento I chose that shitty movie. Even though Woodland

is not Sacramento. Because boy does it not hold up. It was a pretty big hit but it is not good. And so how much money did it make at the domestic box office according to boxofficemojo.com in millions of dollars without going over Moshe Kasher?

$210 million. All right. What am I doing wrong? Everybody just frowned. This is the first Look Who's Talking? That was a huge hit. The first Look Who's Talking movie? Yes, the first Look Who's Talking

was called Three Men and a Baby, and it was kind of a surprise twist that the baby started talking. Oh, you know what? I'm thinking of Three Men and a Maybe, and it was kind of a surprise twist that the baby started talking. Oh, you know what? I'm thinking of Three Men and a Maybe, which is a porno movie. You are going to put my fucking eye out with that sign. Well, then it's called competition, buddy.

So wear a helmet. Kevin. What year did it come out? Really? I don't fucking... That's going to skew your whole... How was the economy during that year? I'm going to say... What year did it come out? Really? That's going to skew your whole... How was the economy during that year? I'm going to say... I'm going to say...

$187 million. Is that good? We'll see. Tony, what... I'm going to go in the middle with $200. You're going to do what? go in the middle with $200. You're going to do what? Go in the middle with $200 million.

Okay. Should have done a dollar, right? I fucked up. I fucked up. Yeah, that would have been... The smart move would have been to bid a dollar. Because then that way, if they're both over, then you would have won. I don't think they're both over.

I think one's over and one's under. I think we're all over. Yeah, well, let's recap. Moshe said 180 something. I said a dollar. If you don't remember. No, fuck him. Fuck him.

Fuck that bitch. He said 210. I said 210. I said 187. You said 180. Or, yeah, 187. I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean that.

I'm sorry. Leah's in my head with her guns and shit. Tony split the difference with 200-ish. S to the P. D. Yeah. And I think this is how much did this shit make first. We're all over.

I think it's the first time we've ever done this. You all are over. It was 167.7 million. Oh, I was fucking close. But you went over. You went over, dude. I did go over. I almost said,

So you're all eliminated. I'm going to bring three new contestants to the stage. So we do win in a way. Just what you've wanted this whole time. Leave the towel at least. Kevin's going to go to the green room and kill himself But like this And miss

That would be so epic I put it in my mouth but the gun was sideways So I didn't quite I bet they would put your picture up if you did They'd probably take down Lopez I'm guessing Oh Jesus I'm looking around now to see who they should take down. I like all of them, though.

They're all nice people. Not one is Caucasian. Finally. Holy shit. Oh, no, is that Chelsea Handler? She's Caucasian, right? Well, she black. She black.

That's my new... She got a hood cast. From Kevin. Is that good for a year? Like six months and they have to renew them? Have you ever heard a podcast, Tony? Nope. Yeah, they're not Altman films.

I don't know what those are either. People take turns speaking. Go ahead. We're going to play another game. Playing field is level since you all lost. But this particular game, I like to play along just for the fun of it. And it's called the Seth Rogen game, a.k.a. Last Man Stanton. Yeah.

And in this game... Dan favorite. We're going to get from... I'm going to pick somebody in the audience to tell us the name of an actor, actress, or director

with a large body of work. So don't pick somebody who's only made five or six films. It has to be, like, let's say, more than 20. And then the four of us are going to take turns naming movies

that feature that person or are directed by that person until the last man, Stanton, the last person that can come up with one. Should I just leave now? No, you'll be eliminated quickly. And then

Kevin and I will battle it out. I'm not doing anything wrong. Oh, you will. And then... I'm just guessing. You never know. No, it's a good guess. Are you tying your shoes for this shit? Yeah. It's bothering me.

Kevin wants to be at the top of his game so he's tying up his tennis shoes. I just untied them, actually. I just stepped on them. The whole tying shoe area. Okay. He could have just tied his shoe without any commentary, Tony. You fucked it up.

They're both true realities. We didn't need any comment, Tony, about it. But yeah, that's how this game is going to work. Somebody that had a cool name tag that didn't get chosen, But yeah, that's how this game is going to work. And I'm going to... Somebody that had a cool name tag that didn't get chosen and whose name we've made fun of a bunch of times. I want... Say it again.

Sojourner. Oh, yeah, the truth. Sojourner. Is that what that means? Sojourner is going to get to decide who we play with this evening. Hopefully not somebody that's been done before. John Cusack.

I like it. I like it a lot. Moshe? Say anything. Oh, really? Well, somebody has to say it. I get something right, and I'm an idiot. I fucking hate this podcast.

Do you know what podcasts are? Kevin? Poe. Poe. Nice pull. I like it. Tony, you could think of a movie that has John Cusack. Pushing 10.

Yeah. Yeah. Just to get it out of the way, because I already brought it up tonight, the paper boy. Gross point blank. Oh, I was going to say that. Now it's pity claps.

I can tell pity claps when I hear them. Oh, he did it. He did it. That's not pity. That's respect for that movie, because that movie is really good. Can we look at our iPhones real quick? No.

No, for something else. I'm just glad that of the six films he put on his name tag, Justin didn't include a John Cusack vehicle. Con Air. Wait, wait, wait. Back up. I got to write down gross point. Okay.

Okay. Kevin says Con Air. I said Con Air. All right, Tony, what do. I said Con Air. All right, Tony, what do you got? Con Air 2. Any John? There was one. I'm sure he was in it.

Or not, maybe. Ball's in the air. All right, so that's really the answer you want to go with? Maybe. Balls in the air. All right. Do you really? So that's really the answer you want to go with? Yeah. Are we going to be able to turn off Tony's mic when he's not in the game anymore?

Because I think that he'll have a lot to say. American Sweethearts. What are you doing? Getting answers from the audience? Maybe my only guy, though. First of all, Justin, this game is not that important in the long run. Tony's going to lose Leonard Maltin game no matter what happens in this game. This happened to me on my first appearance on Doug Loves Movies. It didn't happen to you.

You brought it on yourself. You turned to the audience and said, give me the answer. This was going to be a cautionary tale. People do not like it. The podcast audience doesn't care for your sneaky antics and they will turn on you and viciously so.

But I'm going to take America's Sweethearts just because I want Tony to last one more round. Thank you, Doug. You want someone to get mean at. My turn? I believe I get to play. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which isn't fair, but go ahead. Why isn't it fair? Just because there's so few in my brain.

I'm afraid you're going to take one. Oh, really? No, go ahead. I'm just kidding. I mean, do it. I don't want to be the guy that you said Tony was. Did you think I was going to, did you think I might take Stand By Me? Oh. No.

Okay, what do you got? The Butler. Full title, please. Lee Daniels' The Butler. There's a lot of legal battles over that. So he deserves his props. He's the guy who plays the butler? Huh?

Kevin? Oh my god. Wait, was the movie, was it 2012? 2012?, was the movie 2012? What was the disaster movie? You know, Poor kid. He's fucking out.

Hold up. I like sitting next to you too. Come on. I'm going to take this purse. You can't please me. Fuck you, man. I'm gonna take this purse. I'm gonna... You can't plead with... Fuck you, man! Try to... I hear you laughing at me!

Can I use your old towel? It's just that there's nobody to plead with. There's no person that you're talking to. You're just pleading with the air. Yeah, I can see my guy, and he's a wealth of information. He's got three movies lined up for me. I thought it was...

What's the movie with... Fucking world's coming to an end. Woody Harrelson's in it. Don't shout it out. All right. 2012 is my last guess. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know the movie I'm talking about?

Yeah, it was one of those... It's a disaster flick. Yeah, what's his name? Wolfgang Peterson. Wait, hold on a second. Are we trying to help him get the answer? I just love the struggle. Can I change my answer?

No. Can I pick a new movie? No, because it might be my movie. I tried to suggest that earlier when you were struggling with the number. Can I pick a new movie? No, because it might be my movie No, I tried to suggest that earlier When you were struggling with the number Can I do Kevin Bacon? Can I do Meryl Streep? Motherfucker

But what was that one called? It was 2012 Oh, he's right I said it You people Why are you acting like I fucked up? Because I don't remember You're right

What are you talking about? It's like 2013. Why was there a movie about the future called 2012? That's when the fucking world is supposed to end, Doug. Kevin, nobody was acting like you fucked up. You were acting like you fucked up. From the beginning. Oh, my God.

And that should be a movie. Okay. All right, you're still in it. Carry on. You can save that other one you thought of. Did anybody say gross point blank yet? For a rainy date. Yes, but no one said gross point blank two yet. Okay, two.

Alright, this time you're really out. You're finished. Can I still sit here? Yeah. Okay. No, says this guy over here. That guy wants you to leave, Tony,

so I guess you have to leave. You know what I call him? The voice of reason. I'm going to go with 16 candles. Oh, going back in the field. I've never seen it. Point of Trivia, never seen it. High Fidelity?

Yeah. That's what I meant. Oh, that's what I meant by Gross Point Blank 2. Same writer. What do you think, Kevin? There's this other movie that I can't remember. I'm not even going to try to... High fidelity.

Was he... Shut up. Was he in... Motherfucker. Was he in... Yeah. Was he in the motherfucker? I think he was.

I want to say... Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Is he in that? He is in that. That was good. That's a nice job. Alright. I would think there's more John Hughes to mine, but...

Who's it on? Me? Yeah. I'm gonna go with The Sure Thing. What do you mean, what? The Sure Thing? With Daphne Zuniga and Goose? You might be confused with the Elizabeth Shoe Thing. And you're right for booing that one.

Moshe. To the kids listening I want to say it's not always about winning sometimes it's about doing better than you thought you would and I feel like I did that tonight

now I'm going to guess I don't have any idea I'm vacillating between movie 64 and the Muppet and the most recent Muppet movie just hoping that he did a cameo Vaseline between Movie 64 and the Muppet, and the most recent Muppet movie,

just hoping that he did a cameo. So I'll say... I'll... Okay. Wait, don't do that. I'll say... Just because people are saying the Muppets, I'll say that Movie 64. I don't even know if that's actually the name of the movie.

That's not what it was called. All right, well... It was called Movie 64. I don't even know if that's actually the name of the show. That's not what it was called. All right, well. It was called Movie 2012. I'm out, I guess. Oh, my God. I can't believe you're out. I did well. That's a good crowd.

Ha. Yeah, a good two-thirds, maybe a third, about a third of this crowd has your back. They're all sitting next to each other, too, so I think some people are just clapping because they didn't want to be left out. No, no one's laughing at me. Everyone over there, no one over there

clapped for Moshe. Okay. Thank you guys so much. I appreciate the support You know what I'm saying 420 legalize it That guy's still not clapping That guy's still not clapping

We got a Graham Elwood fan In the front row over here Palm strike shirt Yeah Kevin did you think of one Fuck me I do I can't remember the name of the goddamn movie.

It's the one where he's... Sure, you didn't think of one. It's a rainy night. Oh, yeah. Rebecca De Mornay is in it. The thriller. Fuck. It's one word.

Was there an ice storm involved? Shh, you guys. Quit it. One word, really? it? Shh, you guys. Quit it. One word, really? I thought it was just one. Oh, no. It's the... It's the...

Fuck me. Is Ian a movie... But is he... Okay, let me just... Well, look. I can't remember the name of that fucking movie. And we don't have all night.

So switch to another one. I'm going to guess, is Ian Can't Buy Me Love? No. The crowd, no. 300 white people. What would he play in that? Oh, no. We know.

That was the most disappointing answer of the whole. You're out, Kevin. You're out. You're out. Sit down. I think you were trying to pull Ice Harvest. No. He was in Ice Harvest?

I think that's... Yeah, with Billy Bob Thornton? No. I was close with Ice Storm. I've never seen anybody do physical work on a podcast before. Sorry, I get worked up.

Kevin has been getting up. He's really walking to the stage. It's just like, so anyway. That's why I put the walking on stage. It's just like, so anyway. That's why I put the towel on stage, Mojo. What was the movie where he... Oh, thanks, brother.

Thanks. Let me just solidify the win really quickly with the double of One Crazy Summer and Better Off Dead. Well done. But isn't it a little weird that the host wins? It's a little Not only is it weird, it's fantastic

You see Regis Philbin winning Millionaire You don't see, Alex Trebek acts like he knows all the answers But he never proves it Also he never takes the contestants money from them Hold on, we're not done What was that fucking movie? Fuck! Identity, yes.

Identity. I never would have remembered that. Identity of that movie. And was he in the Muppets? No. What about that movie 64 thing? Does anybody even know what I'm talking about? Yeah, it wasn't 64.

It was 43, and I don't think he was in it either. That's an interesting strategy, though. You'll admit that. What were the other two movies you picked? What were the ones you picked? I said Better Off Dead, which people love. Great movie. And One Crazy Summer, which Zanata's into.

That's a good movie. And then what else did we miss? He was in Hot Tub Time Machine? Oh, yeah. Hot Tub Time Machine. And he's not in Hot Tub Time Machine? Oh, yeah. Hot Tub Time Machine. He's not in Hot Tub Time Machine 2. 1408, somebody just said, which is a crazy hotel room movie. Serendipity.

Eight Men Out. Must love dogs. Love dogs. And my dog is here, and I still didn't get that. That guy's got quite a body of work. I have a Cusack-related tale. Oh, let's hear it. Tell us.

Let's hear it. I was in a scene on Shameless with Joan Cusack, famous sister of John Cusack, where I play a crack addicted paraplegic deaf ex-male prostitute with AIDS. Half a stretch. Half a stretch. Half a stretch.

And when I got the audition for the role I thought perfect. And in it she asked me if there's something I want before I die. One thing before I die because I'm like a hospice patient

in her house and I like basically say I want to eat her pussy. I didn't write it. What do you mean you basically say that? How do you phrase it? Because I'm deaf.

Because you beat around the bush so to speak. I'm sorry crowd. Hats off. This is showbiz talk. Hats off Tony. My character was deaf so I couldn't

I didn't say it. I just kind of went Oh you just did the international symbol for Miley Cyrus and she declines my offer and then as a as a backup consolation prize I'm a crack addict I have a tracheotomy hole and so I asked her if we can smoke crack and her she and her boyfriend in the show put a crack pipe in my trach hole and it was a really interesting Hollywood moment because here I am smoking fake crack out of my fake trach hole

with Joan Cusack and there's a union prop master underneath me with a bellows just blowing frankincense smoke out of my... It's a very weird juxtaposition. And the last thing about it is that at some point in between takes

Joan Cusack was trying to make small talk with me, and she's like, so, do you have any siblings? I was like, yeah, do you? I think she has a couple we haven't heard of. There's a couple more actors in the family that aren't as known. Hey, speaking of smoke

coming out of my trach hole, could you pass me that pen back, Tony? Because I would love to. You took the pen? I gave it to my guy, I think. Your guy? What does that even mean? I don't know.

I thought that was just a cover. Oh, if we can't find that, we'll never be able to find one in this room. Yeah, it'll get to you soon enough. Seriously? Do you guys see a vape pen? Where could it have been? Where could it have possibly gone?

What are you... Dude, did you really give it to Justin? How many times in history has this exact scene been replayed with a vape pen? Just like, oh, fuck, I just... Oh, I'm literally smoking it. I'm actually... Do you edit these podcasts? Lord works in mysterious ways, dude.

You might have it. Like, if you had it, which pocket would you put it in? When did you take the... I would put it in this one. It fits in there? There you go. Oh, yeah. Always the last place you look.

But why would you keep looking after you find the thing? That's my question. Of course it's always the last place to look It's a vapor What's in that? Oh try it, ape grape Grape ape Well there's a plant that the lord made

And sent onto the earth Is this a deaf character? And whose pussy do you want to eat? And then Ja come down from the sky and he go... You have siblings. I guess deaf people are really into eating pussy because no matter how tight they put their legs around your head, it doesn't matter.

You're not going to miss anything. Because you normally really want to hear while you're eating pussy. What was that? Don't talk shit while I'm trying to eat your pussy. I love these high-brow film podcasts. Also, don't shit while I'm eating your pussy, please. I beg you.

Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Oh, boy. Speaking of eating pussy... Oh, yeah, Maltin's a huge pussy fiend. Let's play every pussy eater's favorite game. I wonder if couples listen to this podcast while doing that. I'm sure that's happening. During cunnilingus?

Yeah, man. You don't like it? You're making a weird grimace. Yeah, what was that all about? I think certain movies would work better, like Orca. You get in there, you know. Orca? Is that a movie?

Oh, yeah. Ask Doug. What, is that your safe word? Blackfish is when you're eating someone's pussy, and then you bite her and pull her under the water. And you won't let her up. And you won't let her up. Girls.

Girls, don't get involved with whales who have been separated from the rest of their family. It's a dangerous situation. It's funny because I can picture what it would look like physically. Oh, Lord. All right, so who came closest to beating me

in that last game? Kevin? Kevin. Kevin went the closest. So Kevin will go first in this next game, and then we'll go to Moshe and then Tony, because I always like to give the newest player the most time to figure out what's happening. And he's the winningest player.

You are? Yeah, I like to think that. I hope you don't win today. I think you mean tonight. Kevin. Yes. Would you like The Spectacular Now? That's movies that are out in theaters now that the film critics, according to Rotten Tomatoes,

has given more than 80% positive reviews. Or We Shot a Zoo. Rotten Tomatoes has given more than 80% positive reviews. Or We Shot a Zoo. That's movies that have hunting in them. Or Gladiator. Gladiator. Movies that have cannibals in them.

One or more cannibals. I'm going to go with the Spectacular now. This go with the spectacular now. Okay. This movie's in theaters now. Leonard hasn't given it a star review yet because he doesn't do that until later. He says, I wasn't swept away by this movie. Yeah.

And he also says that at the end I felt nothing. Well, I fucked up, everybody. And he lists a whopping five actors from this movie.

Five actors. And let me throw in two more clues. He says that it's overlong, but never dull. And it's in theaters now. How many names do you think you need to name this movie, Kevin Avery, out of five. I can name it in three names. Okay, now we go to Moshe, whose claim to fame is making other people name it.

He's going to take three out of five names. Did you say it's got 88%? Over 80. Over 80. Can I say I can name it in zero names? Yeah, you can. Yeah. Now, Tony either has to go Minus one names.

Oh wait that's actual thing I was just kidding. Minus one names two. Alright so Kevin you can go negative two or more or you could just say Tony Kameen name that movie and he'll have to could just say, Tony, come here and name that movie, and he'll have to name the movie and the top-billed performer in that movie. Yeah, really, audience member.

It's the same guy every time. No skeptics allowed. Plus, I was totally kidding with the minus one thing. No, I'm going to say name that movie. Inside Llewyn Davis. And what's the name of the top billed actor in that movie? I don't know that guy's name.

Brooks. Something. Brooke Alvarez. From The Onion. It's Oscar Isaac. But that movie's not the one we're looking for. So I win. The most picture we're looking for is American Hustle.

Oh. Yeah, with the science of it. And the top-billed person, of course, is Christian Bale. Yeah, so Kevin Avery's on the board with one point. All right. There we go. There we go. And Moshe's sitting there going,

oh, I didn't really foresee what it would be like to play with somebody who just ruins everything by not knowing what he's doing. How am I in your line of fire right now? I'm being a great guest. I got a good hat on. I brought soda. No, I said that you should be feeling sad

about what Tony just did. Oh, because I could have gotten it. Yeah, of course. And anyone should have been able to get it with even like there was just five names.

So if I said the fifth name was Jeremy Renner, what else is he in right now? Totally. Who's Jeremy Renner. What else is he in right now? Totally. Who's Jeremy Renner? Hawkeye. I love a guy sincerely answering over there. He's Hawkeye from MASH.

That's Alan Alda. I know that. Let's do 70s sitcoms. Oh, man. I know that. Let's do 70s sitcoms. Oh, man. Carol O'Connor, even though it's a guy. Carol O'Connor. Actually, Jennifer Lawrence was listed fifth,

so that would have been a giveaway. Jen-lo. That's right, Jen-lo. Jen-lar. Did you know that motion series? No, but I fucking hate Jennifer Lawrence Just kidding everybody It's the least popular thing to say in the world Wrong crowd

Yeah Jennifer Lawrence is a shithead And admitted it on TV She's America's sweetheart She's America's shit pants That too Who's that one that's all crazy Miley Cyrus I would have said she's America's shit fart.

That would have worked, I think. Let's do another one, Doug. She's America's shart. Doug, let's play another one. Whatever you say, Jeff Garland. Oh, what a cut down. I'm Jeff Garland. I've got lots of money.

I'm fat and I can act. What a good cut down. I'm Jeff Garland. I've got lots of money. I'm fat and I can act. What a good cut down. I'm Jeff Garland. Okay, Sarah Silverman. She doesn't really do that. It's more of a... Burt Kreischer does it. Yay, Burt! Hey. Speaking of Burt Kreischer does it Yay Burt

Speaking of Burt Moshe you get to pick the category this time I think I'm more of an Ernie honestly No no What I'm about to say is the speaking of Burt part This category is called Burt Kreischer Yeah he has his own category

And it's movies where a grown ass man Screams like a little girl Deliverance That would be one example Pre-guesser That's all I know though Or would you like to play That was a cute sound

And a big 80s techno hit That was a cute sound. And a big 80s techno hit. We are farmers. And that's movies that have sheep in them. What the fuck just happened here? Dude, you gotta get with the podcast, asshole. I listen, but I miss that shit. They do that every Wednesday on the old Doug Loves Movies.

It's every Tuesday. Yeah, it is Tuesday, by the way. And Moshe, your third option is Life Takes Visa. Life Takes Visa, and that's movies where someone gets deported. I gotta say, I thought it was gonna be movie starring Morgan Freeman.

Yeah. Thanks, five of you. Yeah, no one ever... Come on! I gotta say I thought it was gonna be movie starring Morgan Freeman yeah is he the voice of Jason thanks five of you yeah no one ever come on the Superbowl's coming fuck you guys I will guess let's do the sheep one

the farmers oh okay that one is I've said it a bunch of times that's why everybody knows to make that noise oh is that bad no no

I'm just saying glad to finally get rid of it this That's why everybody knows to make that noise. Oh, is that bad? No, no. I'm just saying I'm glad to finally get rid of it. This movie's got sheep in it. Three and a half stars from Leonard Mullen. Probably the most stars that have ever been gotten by a movie with sheep in it.

The year is 1995. Simpler time. He calls this movie disarming. He also says it has Oscar winning special effects and uh that it was followed by a sequel and he lists 10 names 95 how many names yes how many names wait in 95 yes how many names do you think you can get it in mos Moshe Kasher? And then it goes to Kevin. Seven.

Thank you. Oh. Maybe he's just passing a stone. It's 95. It's got sheep in it. And what was the other clue? It was followed by a sequel. It's dis, it's got sheep in it. And what was the other clue? It was followed by a sequel, it's disarming, and it won an Oscar for special effects.

What the fuck was I doing in 95? Wherever you were doing, you had a towel. Think back. You're in San Jose, California. It's a very small towel. 9-11 hasn't happened yet. But you're planning it, Kevin. You've got the towel on your head.

You're learning how to take off with a lot of land. Where are you? What movies are you seeing? I could name it. Name that movie. Okay. I think I know it. How many names did you get?

Gandalf, your voice has changed. That was the cutest moment on the whole podcast. I was born in the dark. How many? How many names? Seven. Oh, say can you see? It has a beautiful

voice. Sean Connery. All right, your seven names. They pull a knife, you pull a gun. Who's the man now, dog? Don't blink. Sean Connery as Bane. You get five names?

Seven. Seven names. All right, your seven names are... Don't yell it out, you guys, because you're going to know it. You don't already know it. And also, don't judge me if I don't know it. No, I'm just saying they're going to know it. I don't know about you, but they're going to know it.

Roscoe Lee Brown. I got it. The Adventures of Roscoe Lee Brown. That's three names. Evelyn Crepe, or it could be Crap. No, it's Crepe. She's from the Crepe family. Russie Taylor, Miriam Flynn, Hugo Weaving.

They only hire charming named people for this film? Hugo Weaving, Danny Mann, and Miriam Margolis. Or Margolis. Margolis. Margolis. Or Margolis. Margolis. Margolis. Is that it? That's it. Fuck. Just tell me a movie that had sheep in it from 95 that would win an Oscar for special effects and you're

going to get a point. I think this year is wrong, but I'm going to guess it anyway because it's what's on my mind. I'm going to say Willow. What? Way wrong. Fuck you guys. Fuck you. Willow had sheep in it? Yeah, I bet it did. That's the early 90s

if anything. Well, I didn't get it right. Fuck you. You yelling doesn't make you any righter. No, but it makes me happier. That teaches them. Who challenged you? Kevin. Oh, you mean our winner?

Does that make me the winner? It's always exciting when a dark horse wins. That is so racing. The answer, Moshe, I'm afraid, is Babe. Babe won an Oscar for special effects. I literally thought that, but I didn't think it would win an Oscar. Who's the old guy that we see in everything? James Cromwell is the farmer.

Damn. And a lot of those people that I listed are voices. It's narrated by Roscoe Lee Brown, and Hugo Weaving is the voice of the crab. And Doug, you have a staple of your act. Sebastian the crab. You have a babe joke that's a staple of your act, don't you? I do. Why don't you tell them?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a babe joke in my act, too. You've kind of ruined the punchline by saying that, but... Well done, Tony. When I was out on a date with a woman, I was using lines from motion pictures to make her think I was out on a date with a woman, I was using lines from motion pictures to make her think I was clever because she had told me that she doesn't like movies.

So I was like, you make me want to be a better man. And you had me at hello. And that'll do, pig. Still work for Doug. Wait, Doug. I have a that'll do pig joke in my act as well. How's that go? Let's hear it.

Well, it's like a 15 minute long story. What is it? Oh, I know what it is. Oh, mine was long too. I just fucking chopped it up and presented it. We got 15 minutes. Let's see if it'll work. It's a long story about the first time

when I first started to masturbate, I say. And at first, I didn't even know... Hang on, hang on. Can I get another kettle wanting soda? Make it two, just because this is a long joke. Tony needs something too. Can I get another... What was I getting?

James on the Rocks, please? Can I get a rib spreader? For me, that'll do, pig. No thanks. No, it's about the first time when I first started masturbating. Take us back there to that time. I'm going to do the joke,

but if you interrupt me with bad jokes, then I'm going to stop doing the joke. First of all, that was a question. That wasn't a question. You said take us back there, which is a command. You're right. You're right.

Or what I like to call a chameen. Oh, so yeah. So I say at first I didn't even know that there was an end game that we were working toward. I would just stroke it for a while, pack it back in, be like, that'll do pig and get on with my day. Is that why you're called Pig Bottom on

Natasha's web show? No, that's because I'll do anything. Tubbing with Tosh. Yeah, check it out. Tubbing with Tosh. Look how fast they are here. Oh my God, that's a record. Doug, stage left. Here you go. Thank you. And thank you.

Thanks very much. Thank you very much. That's the Jewish cocktail. Mmm, I don't mind if I do. Thank you. Moshe doesn't drink, but he takes tips. He steals tips from the waiters. Congratulations, Kevin Avery. First time guest, first time winner.

The towel gives me my strength, everybody. Congrats, Kevin. That was good work. Congrats to Leah. Where's the person that Kevin was playing for? It's Leah right there. Oh, all right. Come over here or come up on the stage if you're not too shy.

Hey, what's up? There's your big bag of stuff you have to carry around for the rest of the night. Just some soda. You can put the sodas in there, but that seems sketchy to me. I got half a Heineken. Congratulations. Put one of the sodas in the thing right here. This is for you and your brood? No, I might scratch it.

I might scratch it. That's fine. That'll do, pig. I have gravity. It's a callback. It's horrible. I was just doing a thing. Why does this fucking gun work? Yeah, go ahead. I deserve it. Hey thing. Oh, for fuck's sake. I was trying... Why does this fucking gun work? Yeah, go ahead.

I deserve it. Hey, Tony, pass your name tag down here. Thank you. And do you have anything you need to plug, Tony? What's coming up for you? New Year's Eve with Greg Proops. San Francisco tomorrow night. If you guys don't have...

Okay, you're good. Probably back here in about three or four years. Oh, wait, here we go. Kevin's going to shoot some people. He's going to shoot me. Shoot some white people. Ow! It really hurts.

No, that didn't hurt. Who has not tipped well tonight? Raise your hand. Shoot Doug while he's smoking and vaping at the same time. How do you defend yourself during that kind of action? Oh, that felt good. Nice. What do you got coming up, Kevin?

Like I said, I'll be at the... This isn't going to plop, as you say, by then. My film, I have a short film with David Allen Greer and Margaret Cho and Prodigal Son from the Wu-Tang. And Rachel True, it's called Thugs the Musical, and it comes out on January 28th on my website, kevinaverycomedy.com. And there's a soundtrack with it,

and it's very funny. Go check it out, Thug's Musical. And follow at kevinavery on Twitter. That's right. A-V-E-R-Y. And Moshe Kasher, what you got coming up besides our big show tomorrow night, of course? Big show tomorrow night will be really fun,

but then in January, I will be starting the weekend of the 7th and 8th at the La Jolla Comedy Store with Natasha Leggero. The next weekend I'll be at the

Charleston, South Carolina Comedy Festival and the weekend after that I will be in Atlanta, Georgia at the Improv. So go to motioncastle.com and listen to my podcast

The Champs. Come fuck with us. So you're asking these people to go all the way to fucking Charlotte, North Carolina. The way that a podcast works, Tony, is Doug does what's called uploading it onto the internet.

The way that the internet works is... Little envelopes. Little envelopes. Zeros and ones. Yeah. Have you ever seen Brazil? Yeah. It's basically that tube system.

But there's two endings. Is John Cusack in that? I'm confused. Two different endings to Brazil. And then there's boys from Brazil. What the fuck? I still keep thinking of John Cusack. Did you just slap my ass with the microphone?

I did not. I appreciate it. I did not. Wasn't he in that one with... Who knows what Doug's talking about? I'm going to be at the Orlando Improv on January 4th, stand-up, January 5th, Douglas Movies, both at 420.

But bring your name tags to both. And thank you, Sacramento, for always being so awesome and bringing lots of name tags. Lots of them. You guys missed out tonight. I apologize. You didn't pick any edible name tags.

I know. When food comes with it, you get to eat it. Sojourner, can we eat that cake? She still wants you to have it. Okay. Will you try some right now? It looks, yeah. Take a bite right now.

Black on black crime about to happen. Holy shit. I'm going to get this edge. Oh, my God. Tell us what you think of Sojourner's brownie. Is it Sojourner? What? It's so fucking good.

I'm starving right now. Is it moist? Is it moist? Is it moist? It is moist and delicious. Yeah, that's the number one thing you want from a brownie and from nothing else. No other point in your life you're like, yeah, moist would be good. Well, what about when you're blackfishing somebody? Well done.

Oh, then you want them soaked. You know a lot about dirty stuff, Moshe. That's not real. I made that up. Oh. Is that my drink? I thought it was real. You want more?

Is that my drink right there? Did he put his drink on your table? Yeah, that's yours. I just want to make sure I know where it is. You got to wash down brownie with some Jamesons on ice It's actually good Chocolate and whiskey There is Oreos in this

There are Oreos in this I'm sorry, I was an English major Wait a second, there'll be Oreos up in that shit? Does that make you feel more at home? Oreos in the house, motherfucker That's funny, Kevin Does that make you feel more at home? Oreo's in the house, motherfucker. That's funny, Kevin, because you're kind of an Oreo. Kevin and I have known each other for over a decade. Here's what you can say.

Well, you're kind of a cracker. Actually, that's a little bit a step too far. I would have said that, but my mouth is full. I used to get called white bread and white chicken bread when I was in school. I don't know why. White chicken bread? These dudes would call me white bread. What, they want a whole fucking sandwich?

They'd be like, hey, white bread, white chicken bread, white chicken bread, white chicken bread. It was this dude. Are you sure it wasn't just a salesman for Chick-fil-A? Can I just tell him? That was a guy from the Chick-fil-A auction. We got white chicken bread, white chicken bread, white chicken bread. I've never seen a 20. Do I see a 20 on a white chicken bread?

Don't like gay people. You would not be a good spokesman for Chick-fil-A. You and Natasha with what you do. I've been called honky. I've been called cracker. I've been called chicken bread. More of that Oreo brownie. It's such a good brownie.

Once you go black, you don't go black. That's word up, even if you're black. That does look good. Once you go brownie, stay out of townie. Can I try some?

It's just brownie? There's no... It's regular brownie. Don't worry about it. This isn't a weed brownie, right? Wink. You know, I've never smoked weed before. What?

Oh, yeah. We have to get them high. Yeah, let's get them high. I can't eat all that. I'm ahead of the video. You're right, though. It's disgusting. No, no, no.

I'm not going to do it, right? Oh, the whole plate. Oh, that makes sense. No, no. That's a regular pen. That's not a high. That's just a regular pen. Yeah, it's a regular pen.

It's just regular smoke. It won't get you high. It's just regular. It's just a Pilot G2. Wait, are you about to smoke weed for the first time ever? I don't think that's a good idea. No, he's not. I don't think that's a good idea.

Have one more piece of cake, and then you'll change your mind. Yeah, no, I'm not. I tried to pull an Oreo out of it. It wouldn't go. The Oreo wants to stay married to the cake. But thank you for bringing it, Sojourner. And thank you to all of my guests, Tony Kameen, Kevin Avery, Moshe Kasher.

Did I win? I see you guys. If you guys want photographs or autographs, I'll see you out in the parking lot. A.K.A. if you want a smoke pot. If you want to have a sesh, I'll be there for you. And then we can play round two of movie game. No, no, there will be no games out there.

It's going to be straight up smoking. If you're trying to get your life together and change that, I'll meet you at the BevMo in the soda section. Artisanal. And as always... Cut to more people in the soda section. This is the stop talking part, Tony. As always,

Dennis Rodman is a shithead. And not Ronda Rousey. Don't guess. Yeah, she's great. She was kind of not nice. She'll armbar you. She was awesome, but not nice.

Hobby Lobby is a shit. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.