Doug Loves Movies - Ngaio Bealum, Amy Miller, Carlos Rodriguez and Jacob "Too Far" Sirof guest

Episode Date: June 11, 2017

Live from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco, Doug welcomes Ngaio Bealum, Amy Miller, Carlos Rodriguez and Jacob Sirof to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and Calif...ornia Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you in part by Hulu Plus. If you didn't know, Hulu has a new look and experience that's more intuitive. Watch everything from Hulu originals like The Handmaid's Tale, Harlots, and Casual, to full seasons of favorites like Fargo, Black-ish, and Empire, all in one place with ease. And with the new option to add live TV, you can get limited commercials on the Hulu shows you love, as well as 50-plus live and on-demand channels, starting at just $39.99 a month. You can also watch sports channels like ESPN, FS1,
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Starting point is 00:01:30 For locations and to purchase tickets, visit fathomevents.com slash Riff Trax Shorts, R-I-F-F-T-R-A-X Shorts. Enjoy the show! For you, cause Doug loves booing. Doug hates candy wraps. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. He's a focus, you and Crow is makes him foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves boobies.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Doug. I wish I could do the whole show backwards but I just cannot get it together for that plus how could I read the shitheads first I can just guess who they are I guess oh shit hey hey hey everybody my name is Doug and I love movies this is Doug Loves Movies.
Starting point is 00:02:49 Wow, there's a particularly aggressive one in there. Kind of sounds like the ghost of Bill Paxton. I love Bill Paxton. This is Doug Loves Movies, man! Coming to you once again from Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco! Yay! It's Saturday, June 10th, 2017. And this is our 37th show this year.
Starting point is 00:03:35 And it's 146 days till Ragnarok. And I've got a thirst for name tags. What's the name tag deal with you guys today? There's a lot of them, isn't there? Oh my goodness. Bill and Ted. Bill and Ted's what? Bill and Ted. Oh, Phil and Ted.
Starting point is 00:03:57 You're Phil? I'm Phil. Hey, Phil. Hey, Bill and Ted. You're so excited. How are you, bro? I was backstage saying, I think there's gonna be some overly excited people here today.
Starting point is 00:04:07 See, I knew that guy was going to be overly excited. I knew they were out here today. It's always interesting when that happens. Grudge Matt is a huge one. And you got a big Burt Kreischer face on there. So let's just... Great job with the name tags, everybody. I just want to get
Starting point is 00:04:25 right to something because I don't want to take a lot of time with it. But Bert Kreischer's headlining, Cobbs, the very club we're in all this weekend long. And I came by last night and his show was really fun. But his family's with him here in San Francisco. And so he told me that he was unable to be a guest on the show today yeah I just wanted to get that out there because I saw a bird's name on that his face on that this big huge face on that name tag I mean that huge name tag with birds face on it and and I was like oh okay well you know people are going to be disappointed that birds not here because that's how it works
Starting point is 00:05:06 a lot of the time, is you figure it out. You're a bunch of guest detectives. You're a bunch of guest dicks, and you figure out or you think you figure out who's going to be here. So let's just call Bert on the phone, though, and just say hi to him. I don't rarely try this sort of thing
Starting point is 00:05:27 on the podcast because I'm terrible at it and it's not working out at all. But in the case of Bert, I think we needed to make an exception. Is anybody coming back to see his shows later tonight? See, that's another reason why there's an extra amount of enthusiasm in here today.
Starting point is 00:05:44 And I don't want to be sad about it, so let's check in with Bert. Hello. Hey, Bert. Yeah, what's up, buddy? My name is Doug, and I love movies? My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Douglas movie! Hey, so what hellhole tourist trap are you stuck in right now? I'm at the bar at the Argonaut.
Starting point is 00:06:29 Oh, that sounds all right. Where are the kids? Sitting with me. And your wife? That's not how it works, you guys. Sorry, we had a bunch of premature my wifers in the house. We had a beautiful day. We went to a Giants game.
Starting point is 00:06:58 We had dinner. We had breakfast over at Sears. And I've walked 16,000 steps today. With a child on each shoulder? No. So we just wanted to touch base with you because a lot of people are disappointed that you aren't a guest on the show today,
Starting point is 00:07:22 but a lot of those same people are going to come see you tonight here at Cobb's and they'll scream and yell shit at you like they've been doing with me. Well, if you're sitting in the top deck with a box of donuts, I'll be excited. Alright, I
Starting point is 00:07:39 guess I could do that. Alright, buddy. Thanks. Have fun out there. We'll see you at the club later tonight. Alright. I love you guys. I love you, Doug. I'll talk to you guys later. Okay. Bye-bye. There he goes.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Dirk Kreischer on the phone. I feel like I'm hosting a real show when I did pull something like that off. He actually answered. It worked out great. I didn't need to hosting a real show when I did pull something like that off. He actually answered, you know? It worked out great. I didn't need to have a screener involved. Yeah, fantastic. I should have told him my plugs
Starting point is 00:08:13 while I had him on the phone. Tomorrow, I think there's a few tickets left. I don't know if it's sold out yet or not, but I'm going to be over at the Punchline doing stand-up at 420. You guys coming to that, too? Holy stand up uh at 4 20. you guys coming to that too holy it's comedy weekend for you guys that's kind of interesting alternating between bert and doug like are you also uh using each of our drug of choice are you just drinking
Starting point is 00:08:38 when you go to see bert and getting high when you come see me, plus a little vodka. Bert and I drink the same thing, so that's why I find it funny that he doesn't do as much weed as I do. He doesn't do weed at all, just in case his children are listening. He's probably forcing them to listen to episodes of podcasts while sitting in the Argonaut bar.
Starting point is 00:09:05 I wonder if either of his kids asked him what an Argonaut was, if he would know. Because I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know Argonauts unless they're with Jason, right? Because I love movies. So yeah, so that's tomorrow. Don't forget your name tags tomorrow
Starting point is 00:09:24 if you want to play Last Man Stanton Tuesday Douglas Movies is back at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles at 930 Wednesday I'm doing stand up
Starting point is 00:09:31 at the American Comedy Company in San Diego and next weekend I'll be in Boston for two Douglas Movies tapings at Laugh Boston Saturday sold out but Sunday
Starting point is 00:09:41 Father's Day plenty of seats. People just want to stay home with Dad. IFC is doing a thing that I kind of wish I didn't have a show that afternoon, because IFC is just going to do a marathon of the first three Die Hard movies on Father's Day. So that would be a perfect way to spend that day. Oh, and San Francisco, one more thing for you guys.
Starting point is 00:10:09 I'm going to be doing something very exciting. If you follow my career and what I do in San Francisco, I think you have an idea that this is coming. But it's happening, I think, pretty sure, on August 26th at 4.20. So mark your calendars now. And for all my dates and deets, always go to DougLovesmovies.com. That's Douglovesmovies.com!
Starting point is 00:10:30 That's Douglovesmovies.com! That's like getting laughed in a race. Why don't you just sit down? Why do you still keep running around? I'm going to be my own personal best. Last time I yelled in the car on the way home. This time we got a lot closer. Yeah, your best wasn't good enough.
Starting point is 00:10:59 So, look at this. This is a chunky prize bag that I brought all the way from Southern California to this part of California. And it's in a bag from my friends at the At Midnight show. They give you a nice tote bag every time you're on the show. And, you know, I've got 17 of them laying around the house. So I might as well use it for the prizes today.
Starting point is 00:11:26 From our friends at Pax, they stopped by and said, Doug, will you put this in the prize bag? And I was like, yes, I will. Two different types of Pax. Brand new Paxes. The Pax 3 and the Pax ERA.
Starting point is 00:11:41 Or ERA. This one's fun because you charge it by just shaking it back and forth, and then a little green light comes on. Green light, get it? And then you're ready to go. It's a lot of fun. Speaking of a lot of fun, look at this little fella in the prize bag. It's Bullseye!
Starting point is 00:12:02 Bullseye! This is another thing I've never tried before as a puppet act. Hey Bullseye, how's it going? Pretty good, pretty good! Now you don't talk in the toy store movies. No, because I sound like this! People hate it! Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Somebody said they can see your lips moving, Bullseye.
Starting point is 00:12:32 My lips don't move at all, he's stupid! Alright, so... Oh my God. We have a paramedic on set of I'm Getting Doug With High, but not at Douglas Movies, dude. You're going to have to get through this. So anyway, Bullseye, I won you at the California, Disney California Adventure the other day
Starting point is 00:12:55 and one of those carnival games. And so I was like, that would be a perfect thing to put in the prize bag somewhere. So he's in the prize bag. Also, one of these cool ashtrays it promotes. I'm dying up here on Showtime. Yeah, old school
Starting point is 00:13:09 ashtrays, man. They're perfect for weed stuff. A copy of my CD. A t-shirt that says, uh, what the fuck does it say? It's real cute. When I first saw it, I thought it was Groot, but it's not Groot. It's just a. When I first saw it, I thought it was Groot, but it's not Groot.
Starting point is 00:13:29 It's just a talking broccoli. And it says greens. All day, every day. So somebody gave me that, obviously, because it's fun to say greens, but then have a picture of broccoli. And then, you know, it's never too early for Christmas stuff. For our friends at Peacemaker, it's a holiday bong. Maybe we can test drive it out on Columbus after the show.
Starting point is 00:14:08 So that's all the stuff I brought, plus my guests brought stuff. And as you can see, there's four chairs up here, which means four of my hilarious friends are here and ready to be on the show. And they've all done the show before. And you know them, you love them. Please give a big, warm welcome to Amy Miller, Carlos Rodriguez, N'Gayo Bile, and Jacob Syrah! Hi! How you guys doing? I see some donuts.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I see donuts. Yes, those are donuts. Bullseye loves donuts. Bullseye can have a donut. They're from Donut Madness in Sacramento on Watt Boulevard. Go. All right. They're great donuts.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Yeah. Sacramento, city of trees and donuts. Nine One Sickness. Nine One Sickness. Nine One Sickness. Nine One Sizzle. You feel me? Let's meet my guests individually, starting with the lady on the panel.
Starting point is 00:15:13 It's Amy Miller, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. Hi, Doug. Hey, how's it going? Good. I'm excited. I, how's it going? Good. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:15:26 I've never done this show in my hometown. Yeah, you grew up in Oakland. Yep. So the Bay Area is your home. Yep. This is one of my home clubs, Cops. I'm excited about it. Yeah, that's...
Starting point is 00:15:41 I mean, you don't have to be. That's working out cool. For everybody concerned, I was happy to hear that you'd be in the neighborhood. You did a show in San Francisco last night? Yes, two shows last night. How'd that go? Great. So fun. Told some jokes. People loved it. Well, speaking of fun, also joining us today...
Starting point is 00:16:04 Thanks, Doug. We're done, we're done. You get to stay for the whole thing, you know. I don't go too in-depth at this point. Carlos Rodriguez is back, everybody. What? Wow. That killed in Sacramento
Starting point is 00:16:26 the first time we heard him do it. It's going to get thin quick, though. But I say stick with it. It's like for me in the old Borat voice, I'm never going to give it up just because it gets so much more irritating the longer you do it. But I also kind of learned to do it from you.
Starting point is 00:16:46 I've done it every once in a while. But mine doesn't sound as good as yours, but I think it's funny also. Because I just go, Fwah, fwah, fwah! Yours has kind of an Asian tilt. Well, but if you weren't looking at me, you might not say that.
Starting point is 00:17:02 But the point is... You've sat this close to the show before and haven't laughed like that before. Like, are you on something special? Oh, no, it's not. Oh, okay, it's the guy next to you that's doing that. I kept looking at you. Because you're making a laugh face, but there's no sound coming out. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:17:28 did he get surgery or something? Because he's been in the front row before and I don't remember this laugh. But this other gentleman has got the laugh.
Starting point is 00:17:35 What's your name, dude? Matt. Matt. All right. Well, I hope we're getting this on the recording because it's really entertaining everybody here.
Starting point is 00:17:43 And I'm glad Bert Kreischer's not here because the two of you would just laugh at each other for 90 minutes. Nothing would get accomplished. Like a baby YouTube video or some shit. Just giggling back and forth.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Also here today. Thanks, Doug. You also get to stay. Of course, Carlos is a Sacramento comedy phenom, and he's here all weekend doing shows with Bert Kreischer, so you can see him tonight if you come back and see Bert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Fwa, fwa, fwa. Yes, I tried to give kind of a sophisticated spin on it because always, always dressing for the show, always in a jacket. It's Ngayo Bila, everybody. Ahooga! Ahooga!
Starting point is 00:18:40 Ahooga! I'm trying to work on it. The air horn. I don't know. That's kind of why they all run for cover. Yeah, you can't do that. He's in a suit, but he might have a gun.
Starting point is 00:18:55 He's in heat. Great place to put a gun is a suit. Crazy on the golf course. Great place to hide your weed. Pockets are good. Pockets are great. Check them all. My purse is cleverly
Starting point is 00:19:07 What? I said my purse is cleverly disguised as a sport coat. I've said that same thing, but all different words. Have you... Have you got something
Starting point is 00:19:22 in addition to the donuts for the prize bag? I do. Are we supposed to throw the donuts? I'm just confused by the donuts. I think we'll to the donuts for the prize bag? I do. Are we supposed to throw the donuts? I'm just confused by the donuts. I think we'll put the donuts in the prize bag so you can eat them or throw them or eat a couple and then throw a few later.
Starting point is 00:19:33 But then I also brought a container, just a regular container. We're not really at that part yet. I just couldn't stop thinking about the donuts. Do you want to look at the donuts? And I also felt like if I didn't talk to you long enough, you'd say, thank you, Doug, after I was trying to move on to introducing the final guest.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Well, thank you, Doug, for taking extra time with me. I appreciate it. But you're so slow and gentle. I saw him on a name tag on the internet today already. It's Jacob Searoff. San Francisco, third generation San Francisco native, Jacob Serra. Lincoln High School, class of 93 if I didn't drop out. So this is really like a straight up California, because I grew up in San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:20:14 I live in Sacramento. You're from Sacramento. You're from Oakland. You're from Fremont or whatever. San Francisco, California. Sure. What high school? Name three of their albums if you're from San Francisco.
Starting point is 00:20:24 The three that Jefferson Airplay did. I'm from San Diego. West Coast representing. Yeah, kill a cat. But you did Doug's. It's spreading through the audience. So I'm really mad Bert's not here. Why?
Starting point is 00:20:46 Because I've never done a show with Bert, and he's fucking here, and he's not here, and it's fucking lame. I just feel like one of these people should take their shirts off. I think they need more alcohol if you and Bert are in the same room. It's not going to be me.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Sorry, everyone. You're volunteering to keep your clothes on? Yes. Then never mind. Just this once. Just this once. Just this once. It was the first time for everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:14 I knew someday the crowd was going to be disappointed that this was the show where you weren't. Take your shirt off. Amy, what do you have for the prize bag, if don't mind me asking I brought two excellent items, Doug I'm so glad you asked Thanks, Doug Okay, I've been staying Thanks, Doug I've been staying at my sister's house in Oakland
Starting point is 00:21:36 and she has multiple shelves of self-help books She's still a bitch which is weird But this is one I brought She's still a bitch, which is weird. But this is one I brought. The Secret Language of Relationships. And you can look up your birthday and your partner's birthday and see if you're compatible. That's pretty fun.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Secret language. Is it written in Esperanto? And then, I brought an Adam West Batman figure. Whoa. Pretty good. I'll trade my donuts for that. Can you pass that down? Nice.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Well, that's very nice of you to do that. I knew that he'd get weaved into the conversation today somehow. And, you know, it's another big one we lost, Adam West. I woke up to that this morning. And I was watching in my hotel room, there's IFC, and I was watching Kick-Ass. And just marveling at Nicolas Cage's Adam West voice that he does whenever he's got the mask on in that movie. And then I look at my Twitter
Starting point is 00:22:47 and Adam West is dead, so now I can't watch TV anymore. Oh, you feel like you caused it? Yeah, I think I caused it. It's all your fault whenever an 88-year-old man dies, Douglas. Damn you! In his prime! That's really more of a Bane voice.
Starting point is 00:23:06 Right. I wasn't trying to do an impression of him. I wasn't doing an impression, old chum. But yeah, he's great. Jeff Garland does a great Adam West impression. So I'm sure he's driving people crazy with it today. Pow. I'm West impression. So I'm sure he's driving people crazy with it today. Pow! I also tried to pull a real white lady move
Starting point is 00:23:30 at Dr. Comics and Mr. Gaines in Oakland. Have you guys been there? And casually mention, I might mention you on Doug Loves Movies. Maybe this isn't full price anymore. I was trying to get a discount on your good name. How'd it go? It't full price anymore. I was trying to get a discount on your good name. How'd it go?
Starting point is 00:23:48 It was full price. I got half price on the donuts. Did they know what it was even? Or were they baffled by all of it? No, he totally knew what it was. And also go to Dr. Comics and Mr. Games. It's a great shop. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:03 But don't expect a deal. No. Not on Doug's a great show. Okay. But don't expect a deal. No. Not on Doug's name. No. Try to mention Amy Miller. See if that... Yeah, don't use the coupon code DouglasMovies.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Carlos, what do you got? It looks cool to me from here. So, last year, I got invited to Six Flags to be the first to ride the Joker roller coaster. Oh, yes. Yeah, because we're comedians.
Starting point is 00:24:29 So they, we'll put the joke on. And so they're like, and they gave me a lunchbox and I was like, that's cool. And they filled it
Starting point is 00:24:34 with cool shit and it was still in my trunk from last year. So I said, fuck it. So it has a comic book in it.
Starting point is 00:24:43 That's what it's all about. It's all additions. Yeah. comic book in it. That's a condition. All conditions. Yeah. If you like your comic books mangled, it's perfect. Did you say manga? Mangled. And then also they gave me Joker gloves.
Starting point is 00:24:57 But the cool shit about these Joker gloves is these little fingertips are black, so you can swipe on your iPhone. It works. Just like the Joker. Yeah, it does. So I thought that was pretty cool. He's always swiping on your iPhone. It works. Just like the Joker. Yeah, yeah. So I thought that was pretty cool. He's always swiping on his iPhone while he's
Starting point is 00:25:09 plotting scams against... And then this is the coolest part. I also threw in, I said, fuck it. I had a girlfriend and I had one and then we, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:18 she gave me... He said, fuck it. Yeah, yeah. But she dumped me and then I was like, well, fuck, I don't want nothing that she gives me
Starting point is 00:25:22 because in her mind I'm going to cry and shit. But she got me a fire stick so was like, well, fuck, I don't want nothing that she gives me, because then I'm going to have to get out and cry and shit. But she got me a Fire Stick, so fuck her, and you guys can have it. Jesus Christ! Dude, you guys have, like, the coolest gifts. What's a Fire Stick? Amazon Fire Stick, you could put, like...
Starting point is 00:25:40 It's like Roku. Yeah, and, like, an Apple TV. Really? Yeah, you could... I love it's like Roku. Yeah, and like an Apple TV. Really? Really? Yeah. I love it's like Roku, because I feel like a five-year-old, well, what's Roku? It's a Japanese.
Starting point is 00:25:56 Just keep going around and around and around with that. Well, pass that box on down. I love it. That's a terrific contribution. Is this ride any good? Horrible. It's not a good ride? It's a joke. Nah, he said drink and drive,
Starting point is 00:26:11 so that's way funner, but the roller coaster. The most Mexican thing ever said on Douglas movies. It's more funner. It's more funner, eh? It's more funner, wait. Pero, pero, you drank last?
Starting point is 00:26:25 Tu la pero? It's more funner anyways. Looks like a fun ride to me. On the box. Yeah, it's true. Lunchbox made me lie. What do you got for us, Zungayo? I brought donuts
Starting point is 00:26:43 and a marijuana container from Chameleon Glass. American-made pipes in Arizona. If you use Zungayo for 20, you get 10% off. Oh, and there's weed in here. We'll see about that.
Starting point is 00:27:04 I could put more in it if you No no I just wanted to It seems light What is it? What's it called? Summer mix of shit I had in the car So it's probably
Starting point is 00:27:16 Some Placerville train wreck And then I think there's some Mendo breath And some Grateful breath In there Some 1986 shit No no
Starting point is 00:27:24 It's all very recent. You know, you roll a joint and you got a nug and you just put it in the medley box. That's it. Right?
Starting point is 00:27:31 If we're for a tasting menu, summer medley of fall greens wrapped in a hemp paper and served in fire.
Starting point is 00:27:42 12.50. You should have like a, instead of a key party, just have a bowl near the door and everybody throws a few nugs in on their way in and then take a few on your way out. Need a nug, have a nug, have a nug, leave a nug.
Starting point is 00:27:56 I'm going to take a nug from this right now and put it into my pipe. Are we smoking? It's going to be not on stage. That's my kind of party, though. No, still not doing that really. It's because of all this alcohol that everybody has to have. It's because of all the alcohol, we can't smoke weed.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Yeah, those are the rules everywhere. Come to my house. If you sell alcohol, you can't also smoke weed in the place. But we'll get through these difficult times. You know, if everybody's right about climate change and stuff, California's gonna sink and we're just gonna all be living on boats anyway.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Yeah, get off of my boat, cop. I'm gonna smoke all the weed I want on my boat. Bro, it's international waters. I think President Pence is gonna hook us up. Alright, we've gotten too political i know this is this crowd's got all types what boats and hoes i think he said boats and hoes i think that's what i want them to have said That's what I want them to have said.
Starting point is 00:29:05 It's like a Jay-Z video just happened in my mind. Boats and hoes and boats and hoes. Poor hoes. They were just regular girls until they got on a boat. It's not fair. It's not right that they would suddenly become a boat hoe.
Starting point is 00:29:24 If you want to get champagne poured on you, that's what you got to do. It's better than being a boat hoe. If you want to get champagne poured on you, that's what you gotta do. It's better than being a bus hoe. As a bus hoe, I beg to differ. I don't know. Someone to be with you on the bus is pretty down, though. I'm sorry. It's just, I don't know. It's true, though.
Starting point is 00:29:44 If you love me with a bus pass, it's happening. I'm sorry. It's just, I don't remember my head. It's true, though. That's true. That's science. If you love me with a bus pass, it's a happening. Buses are more funner than boats. What's going on down there, Jacob? You digging around in the bag? Yeah, I figured it was my turn soon. Yeah, sure. I was just prepping. Let's find out what you brought. Basically, for the bit. Okay, so I feel like the last...
Starting point is 00:30:01 I did Houston and San Antonio with you, and I feel like I was really... My prize bag game was kind of weak, so I feel like I did Houston and San Antonio with you, and I feel like my prize bag game was kind of weak. So I actually went out and spent some money just for the prize bag. Yeah, I went to Two Cats comic book store, West Portal, here in San Francisco. A comic book store run by lesbians, apparently. Two Cats, it's called. And I got this comic book. You know, a lot of comic book stores have like a 99 cent spin.
Starting point is 00:30:22 I don't know if you can see the price tag here. I went for the $999 and 99 cent spin because that's how much I care about the show. These are $1000 comics that I just bought. This is the Watchmen, before Watchmen. I'm a big Watchmen guy. This is the Comedian because
Starting point is 00:30:37 you know, we're comedians. That was kind of clever. How many of these are there? Just two. This is a comic book called Sex, which I've never heard of, but it's got a guy with a That was kind of clever How many of these are there? Just two I got just two Just two And then there's this comic book Called Sex
Starting point is 00:30:46 Which I've never heard of But it's got a guy With a gun for a dick On the cover And I thought that was pretty cool Gun dick, yeah I looked inside There was
Starting point is 00:30:55 It's very violent And very sexy But there's like a guy Getting a rim job From a girl On one of the pages But it's like Really cartoonish drawings
Starting point is 00:31:01 So that's interesting Are the pages A little sticky now? No, I mean, you won't... I don't... No. Not so you'd notice. But I also got this...
Starting point is 00:31:12 I didn't get this from the comic book store, but this used to be, I don't know, this used to be an Italian neighborhood. I guess it still is, kind of. And so I got this book that's called Merda, The Real Italian You Were Never Taught in School. And it's like a book about how to swear and stuff in Italian. So it's kind of like a low...
Starting point is 00:31:26 I thought it was a geographically specific contribution. It looks like it could have a lot of swear words in it. I earmarked a few choices. You think you can cover all the swear words in a pamphlet? No. It's a full book of that shit. Yeah, they got, like, I bookmarked a few pages for you. That book is literally called Shit.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Yeah, Merda. Shit. But there's, like, 18 different ways is literally called Shit. Yeah, Merida. Shit. But there's like 18 different ways that Italians call penises, things and stuff. All right,
Starting point is 00:31:51 well bring that stuff, bring that Merida over here. Yeah. We'll throw that Merida right in the back. Looking at the man in the Merida. Wow.
Starting point is 00:32:03 You're looking at a shit man? The man in the shit. The man in the shit Oh I like that Man in the shit I got one quick question for you guys Before we get to the game portion of the show And that is Which are you right or left handed Thank you and Gaio
Starting point is 00:32:20 Different question for Carlos What What was the last movie you saw today I went and seen the mummy you went and seen the mummy today I went and seen the mummy just a minute ago and how did that work out for you it is it's it's I
Starting point is 00:32:37 it's just I it's just I I mean like I didn't go in there expecting Spielberg shit so I was like alright cool but it's a it's just like you know Tom Cruise ego boost because the mummy just wants Tom Cruise really bad. She chose him. That hot, maybe mummy lady just wants to fuck Tom Cruise? Yeah, yeah, she chose him and she wants to be with him and whatnot. And it's like, eh, it's eh.
Starting point is 00:32:56 But it's like, it's cool. I mean, cool because it's supposed to link up with all the other movies, right? The Dark Universe. It links up with Godzilla, King Kong, and Invisible Man. What the fuck, man? The Greek Avenger is another one. That's my moment. That was a lot of plates.
Starting point is 00:33:13 I was about to do a spoiler, so I think that's what happened. I have to call Carlos out at this point. You gave it a way better review upstairs in the green room, dude. You told me you loved it. No, I didn't say I loved it. You said it was fun. What's the big deal? And now you're like,
Starting point is 00:33:27 about how I was doing the show last night. I do remember that. You were like, what's with all the hate on the mummy? And then you're out here spreading hate on the mummy. God damn lies. Just say you love it.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Yeah, I loved it. It was good, actually. It was very, very good. It murdered. The mummy murdered. I'm good at drawing people out. Yeah. This prize bag only counts.
Starting point is 00:33:46 It's like three bags and a box and a lunch box. It's really like a prize package. That laugh, man. What do you do for a living? Stand-up comedy? What? So, do you... He's homeless?
Starting point is 00:34:11 In the Bay Area? Oh, shit. Like Walnut Creek stand-up comedy? Keep your day job... Low-dive. Low-dive. Keep your day job as a homeless person. Stuck in low-dive again. Dang, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:24 Came here all in grey hair. Just about to go home. All right, I'm sorry I talked to you. Amy, what was the last movie you saw? Baywatch. And? Loved. Woo! And? Loved it. You did? Yeah. Yes, but it was conditional.
Starting point is 00:34:50 You know? I saw it in Tucson, Arizona at like a lay down. They like ripped off the Outlaw Draft House there but they had recliners and then I was like drinking wine and it was great. I loved it. It was the afternoon before my shows and I mean, there's a lot great. I loved it. It was the afternoon before my shows and
Starting point is 00:35:05 I mean, there's a lot of hot dudes in it. I love The Rock. I'm not very smart, Doug. I mean, if you know and expected to see The Rock and Zac Efron in a Baywatch spoof, it does exactly what it's supposed to do. Yeah, it was really
Starting point is 00:35:24 fun. I don't know, I just enjoyed myself. But also because I was in Tucson, like, that movie was getting real laughs in Tucson. It fucking crushed in Tucson, Arizona. There was like a 65-year-old lady next to me just laughing at every joke. And I was like, oh, this is what it's like to just enjoy your life. And not be like, this isn't well-written, or this comedy's bullshit, and I know more.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Like, you can just enjoy yourself and live in Arizona. You could enjoy your life so much that you'd want to be spending it doing something other than watching Baywatch. You know, like, I was just kind of antsy through the whole thing. It just felt like you know, the set pieces went on for a little, like the guy's dick is caught in the lounge
Starting point is 00:36:13 for too long. That was really dumb and I didn't enjoy that part of it. But I'm happy for that guy, whoever he is, for getting, you know. But I'm not here to pick apart the Citizen Kane of Lifeguard movies. Because that's pretty much what it is. It is the gold
Starting point is 00:36:29 standard up to this point. I'm going to say Back to the Beach on that. Really? Yeah. I liked Lifeguard with Sam Elliott. I've never seen that. Bafe, it's what's for dinner. So, uh... Did he even do that one? Was that Sam Elliott?
Starting point is 00:36:48 You're the one who would know Probably Alright quick round of IMDB games Sam Elliott Can anybody name a Sam Elliott movie? Big Bad Movie Roadhouse
Starting point is 00:36:59 The Mask The mask yeah He's been in a few He's been in some good ones Jacob Last movie Wonder Woman Here we go
Starting point is 00:37:17 One of those men only screenings That's so popular That movement died quickly According to the applause I got. What? The whole Wonder Woman empowerment thing that seemed like it was sweeping the nation. Now it's just like... The mummy's more funner. It's poised to...
Starting point is 00:37:33 No, it's poised to beat the mummy this weekend at the box office. I hope it does. We've talked about it a little bit. I thought... I like it. I think it's not as good as people are acting like it is. But it was a fun movie, and the fighting was really cool, and she's like instantly, you know, dethrones Natalie Portman
Starting point is 00:37:49 as the hottest Jew chick alive. That's what the most important message of the movie is. That's what I took away from it. I thought that's... Maybe it's not for you. Really? Like as a Jewish man? Half of that.
Starting point is 00:38:10 The Jew part. Yeah, I don't know. I took my kids and they liked it. I could have done without her having a man helping her a lot and falling in love with him and all that shit. Yeah, I mean...
Starting point is 00:38:25 She was just independent because she came from an island of women. But she kind of Han Solo'd it because he said he loved her, but she never said that back. She doesn't say it back? She doesn't say it back. Does she throw up one of her wrists and it shoots back in his face? Yeah, she's like... I love you. She used those to deflect
Starting point is 00:38:40 come-ons and bars. Hey, can I buy a... We could all use some of those. use those to deflect come-ons and bars. Man. Hey, can I buy a... Hey! We could all use some of those. I like how she sort of just sort of discovers she has those things
Starting point is 00:38:53 like it's a, you know, the day you learn to masturbate or something. The way she's like, or like Spider-Man, I guess. There was a lot of
Starting point is 00:39:00 wrist work involved that day also. Yeah, yeah. But she's just sort of like, oh, this is crazy what my wrists can do. And in a few situations, I'm like,
Starting point is 00:39:07 go to the wrist thing. She kind of holds back on it. I would always be doing that if I were her. The wrist, nonstop. And why do they have a lasso of truth that the island's all women
Starting point is 00:39:16 and they all trust and love each other? Why'd they even invent that thing? In case a man fell out of the clouds? Exactly. Yeah, I think so. I'm done here. Case adjourned.
Starting point is 00:39:30 I thought the villain could have been a little stronger. I guess that's kind of a spoiler, so we can't talk about it. You know, a villain is a tough one to pull off, and when a movie has a great villain, it really improves it, like a die-hard one or whatever. But yeah, I thought they were kind of bland in this one. It's hard.
Starting point is 00:39:53 They have to come up with so many villains in these movies. I'm a DC guy more than a Marvel guy, comic book-wise. So I'm just glad it's working. And I'm glad there's a movie out with over 90% Rotten Tomatoes. It's a DC movie. And I hope it pushes Justice League I hope that there's a movie out with like a over 90% Rotten Tomatoes it's a DC movie and I hope it pushes Justice League and all that shit
Starting point is 00:40:09 so I'm happy about it I want more of her I want to see her do that more I want to see her fighting people for sure mostly men I think she should just
Starting point is 00:40:18 start punching everybody in the balls here's the thing here's the weird thing about the movie and I know you want to move on but I was like really attracted to the Dr. Poison chick.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Oh, yeah. You like that funky mask on her face? Crazy. You like crazy girls. She got her mask at the same place as the guy from Boardwalk Empire got his. Those things are creepy as fuck. Yeah, they are. I can't handle it. I kept looking at it trying to find
Starting point is 00:40:42 her beauty. She's got to be beautiful. Why? Why does she have to be beautiful? Because she just had to be. And then it turned out she was, played by a very beautiful actress. Who got the gig. Because they were like, oh, she's going to look great ugly. Put glasses on her. Did you?
Starting point is 00:40:59 Well, that's what I'm excited for. And the next, you know, as Wonder Woman moves forward is I want her to be in modern times fighting people and doing stuff. I don't need more what if superheroes were around during the Nazis.
Starting point is 00:41:15 The real heroes took care of that whole situation. We don't need to rewrite that. We don't need to confuse anybody. Yeah, Wonder Woman's family didn't do very well in the second world war. Oh no!
Starting point is 00:41:31 God! Jacob, too far, Siroth. Might as well do your plugs right now. Jacob, only two on the panel, Siroth. I get to say it. Guy, have I asked you what your recent movie experience has been?
Starting point is 00:41:49 Before anything, you have something on your nose right here. It's been driving me crazy. Oh, God, thank you. That's why that guy's been laughing? That's pretty much the whole reason. It hasn't been that the whole time. But the last It's my nose. I don't know what you guys are talking about.
Starting point is 00:42:06 It feels like forever. I felt like Gilda Ratner. I saw Wonder Woman, and I saw Big Watch, and I saw Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, how was that? It was alright. Which one is the best one of those three if you had to pick one? Wonder Woman.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Wonder Woman was the best DC movie so far. Which is not saying a lot of stuff. You mean ever or in this new reboot? In the current Zack Snyder universe, it's the best one. It's, I mean, you know, it's not hard to do.
Starting point is 00:42:37 But I enjoyed it. I saw it twice. I read that Patty Jenkins on Twitter is lined up to you know she's gonna probably direct a sequel. She should. That's cool. I think so.
Starting point is 00:42:49 I hope they said it in the 70s. You know she wants to do it and they're saying she's gonna do it I guess. Alright. I don't know if I'm allowed to be excited about that because it's not for me.
Starting point is 00:42:59 But I want to be. I like that. Well that's why I like I'm excited about it. That's why I said it. Suicide Squad. You didn't like Suicide Squad. I'm excited about it. That's why I said it. Suicide Squad. You didn't like Suicide Squad? No?
Starting point is 00:43:09 Well, I mean, there's a Mexican in it, so it was more funner. Yeah. I know, but the way they treated it was so ridiculous. Do you set fire to things of your mind? I set fire to things that were real. I had a problem. All right, Diablo. I had a problem. Oh, okay. All right, Diablo. I had a problem.
Starting point is 00:43:30 We got lots of great name tags. Burt Kreischer's in here, but if he does listen to it, he needs to turn the show off because it's time to say let the games begin! Ladies and gentlemen,
Starting point is 00:43:42 pick your name tags from out of the darkness. Doug said there was a Guardians with me as Baby Groot. Is that around? And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll go to a brief commercial message. Where am I, Baby Groot? Jacob, could you just do this part off mic? We're going to commercial. Trying to go to commercial.
Starting point is 00:44:00 This is the part where I always say, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. to commercial. This is the part where I always say, we'll be right back. We'll be right back. Today's episode is brought to you in part by I'm Dying Up Here. That's the show that you've heard me go on and on about. I've had six
Starting point is 00:44:16 different cast members from the show on Douglas Movies recently, and of course I've been giving out ashtrays that I stole from the I'm Dying Up Here premiere party. It's the new drama series executive produced by Jim Carrey on Showtime and new episodes air every Sunday night at 10 p.m. I'm Dying Up Here centers around a group of young up-and-coming comedians hoping to make it big in the 1970s LA comedy scene. Every night,
Starting point is 00:44:47 these stand-ups wait their turn to get a chance to perform at Goldie's, the hottest club in Hollywood. But as they soon find out, there's no such thing as an easy laugh. They'll first have to win over club owner Goldie, played by Academy Award winner Melissa Leo, who rules the Sunset Strip with an iron fist. And these comics aren't ready until she says they're ready. Don't miss I'm Dying Up Here every Sunday at 10 p.m. only on Showtime. Go to GetShowtime.com to download the Showtime app now
Starting point is 00:45:18 and start your free trial. Today's episode is also brought to you in part by Dollar Shave Club. Dollar Shave Club is the smarter choice. Get a great shave at a great price conveniently delivered right to your door. It's an awesome life hack and a no-brainer choice. You no longer have to schlep to the store to buy a cheap disposable razor that gave you a cheap shave or spend a fortune on razors with gimmicky shaving tech that you didn't need and when i use my dsc executive razor with their dr carter's shave butter the blade just gently glides giving me such a smooth shave their doctor coverage shave butter is transparent for a more precise shave helps helps prevent ingrown hairs, and fights razor bumps.
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Starting point is 00:46:46 slash Doug. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash D-O-U-G. Back to the show. We're back. That was an exciting name tag selection process because our friend Jacob
Starting point is 00:47:01 just couldn't pick so we decided that he could have two people that he's playing for. So he gets two lifelines. No. No Carlos. Why are you trying to help him? You can't give him an advantage like that. He's already gonna win.
Starting point is 00:47:18 So, which one? Tell us about both of your name tags, Jacob. Okay, well, before the show you had told me that you saw a Guardians of the Galaxy poster with me as baby Groot, and that was really exciting to me because I've never been on a Guardians name tag. That was exciting.
Starting point is 00:47:31 But then when I asked for it, a woman just walked up and handed me a different name tag. Yeah, she just marched right up. She was saying specifically Groot, and she's like, this isn't Groot. And then she walked up to you and handed you a very nice... A very nice return of the how would you say it? Jedith?
Starting point is 00:47:47 Jedith. Because her name's Edith. But that's confusing. Jedith. Return of the Jedith. Jedith Christ. Jedith Christ. But so that's got you as Han and me as Luke and Billy Dee as Billy Dee. How come I'm not Lando?
Starting point is 00:48:03 Is it me or the house lights never go back down i think you're right i could see everybody very clearly could we get dark again in here oh i like it thank you thank you see you guys later we know you're out there because we hear you breathing amy who are you playing for oh the the guardians one done oh sorry what no the the the to hear you breathing. Amy, who are you playing for? Oh, the Guardians one, Doug. Oh, sorry, what? Jesus, everything takes forever with you.
Starting point is 00:48:32 I'm sorry. Which the ladies probably love. You beat me to it, or not. Right? I'm sore. There's a happy medium. It's Wednesday. Can you wrap it up? That's the kind of woman Jacob makes love to. It's Wednesday. Can you wrap it up?
Starting point is 00:48:46 That's the kind of woman Jacob makes love to. It's Wednesday. I don't know if I've ever made love to a woman. Fwomp, fwomp, fwomp. Carlos, can you do the real one? Mwah, mwah, mwah. So which one of the two do you want to have be your lifeline?
Starting point is 00:49:03 I'm going to go with the Guardians one because the poster is so solid that this person must really... I feel like the first one's more of a fan of the show and this guy's more of a movie fan. I'm going to guess. And what's his name? And it's mainly just because I'm a sexist and he's a boy. What's his name?
Starting point is 00:49:18 It's Kodians of the Galley's Jenny. So Kody is who we'll go to. Oh, there's two people. There's Kody and Jenny. Is he still talking about it? There's a Jenny too. Alright, we'll go to. Oh, there's two people. There's Cody and Jenny. Is she still talking about it? There's a Jenny, too. All right, we got to move on. Whatever. We're doing one game now.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Let's go. Just going to draw a lot. They have to split the prizes three ways, I guess. There's half of a half, or I don't know how they're going to do it. It's going to be an ugly riot. Is it my turn now? Mm-hmm. Thanks, Doug.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I'm playing for Jennica. Woo, Jennica! This beautiful breakfast at Jennica's. And it's her own art. And it's so beautiful. And she's... You're on it, Carlos? I'm on it. Hey, thank you.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Well, that's great for you. I'm never on them. Kreischer. And also, Doug, you're eating a breakfast of bacon, eggs, I think that's a giant mushroom. Could be toast. And a bong. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Yeah. That's breakfast at Jemica's. That is so you, dude. I like it. It's really beautiful, though. It's, like, well done and thoughtful. Yeah, she tweeted something about, like, I don't have time to make a name tag, so I'll just draw one.
Starting point is 00:50:31 And that's how beautiful it turned out. It's so good. The little kitty cat on the heparin. Oh, man, I love it. Good job, Jenica. There you go. Good luck to both of you. I saw a lot of crap out there
Starting point is 00:50:45 And this is not crap That's how you get your face On a name tag in the future Carlos, what do you got? I got I went all the way To the very, very back Because I said
Starting point is 00:51:01 Fuck it, if you're late That's okay Yes And I got Gremlins. Well, I don't know. Who does... Whoa. That's a pretty cool one.
Starting point is 00:51:10 Yeah, this is an awesome... Gremlins got light-up sunglasses on and it's holding a G-zoint and it says Douglas Movies on his box and it's been signed by me and Graham Elwood and two other people who have sloppy signatures and meaning this person's been to a Douglas Weasel before. Is that you?
Starting point is 00:51:28 Yeah, that's me. So Gaius is one of the unlegibles. Illegibles. Is that a real name? But yeah, great job there, Graham. Guillermelins. Guillermelins? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Okay. Very good. Right on? Yeah. Okay. Very good. Right on. Yeah. Sheila Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Hand-drawn. Crayon. Art pastel.
Starting point is 00:51:54 Colored pencil. So she had to press hella hard to do that. And it also came with a joint, which is, you know, that's how you get made. I was wondering why you chose that. If you want to smoke paradise. I knew there was a hook. Yep, I've seen that trick work before. If I were picking name tags, I'd go right for those.
Starting point is 00:52:18 See, that's how you do it. Yeah. Well, great job, everybody. Yeah, good job. Let's play some games. Let's win. Yeah. Got some shit written down over here. Should be fun.
Starting point is 00:52:31 We're all counting on you. Yeah, of course. Good luck. We're all counting on us. We're going to start with Purple Rain Man. What movie mashup title would feature in the third build roles? You guys guess as often as you like on this until somebody gets the right answer. Do I have to say her name first?
Starting point is 00:52:52 No. Unless... Unless what? I can't think of a movie that... Oh, unless the movie's called Amy. Aww. Because there's a movie called Amy, right? Ch there's a movie that's called Amy, right? Chasing Amy Miller.
Starting point is 00:53:08 There's Chasing Amy also? All right. David Tomlinson and Louis Black. Don't think anyone's going to get it on that. Audience do not try to help in any way. Yeah, it's mashed together like Purple Rain Man. Oh, I get it. Second billing
Starting point is 00:53:29 would be Dick Van Dyke and Bill Hader. Some people in the audience know what it is. Chitty, Chitty... No. Dang it.
Starting point is 00:53:44 Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang the Drum Slowly. I know the second one. Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang the Drum Slowly? I know the second movie. Chitty Chitty. I know one of them. Hollywood Bang Bang. I'm going to do that one on a future episode. That was a good one. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:53:55 All right. This should make it happen for you guys. Top build, Julie Andrews and Amy Poehler. I know the second movie. I don't know the first one. You don't know the movie that's got Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke in it? Yes. That's the one I know.
Starting point is 00:54:11 There's something about Mary Poppins? No. Amy Poehler stars in the other movie in the second half of the title. Now I forgot the second half of the title. I'm going to just give you guys a clue. It's a computer animated movie. What the fuck, man? It's the second half of the title. Fuck. It's the... It's fucking... I'm gonna just give you guys a clue too.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Fuck it. It's a computer animated movie. What the fuck, man? It's the Disney movie. Fuck with the emotions and the fucking... Ah! And the little girl. She's gonna be a porn star
Starting point is 00:54:31 if she don't fucking... You don't get right or some shit. Oh, oh, oh. How does that... Mary Poppins... Mary Poppins Side Out. That's correct, Jacob. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:54:42 That's a weird one, though. Mary Poppins Side Out. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Good job, Jacob. I couldn't... Really, Jacob. That's correct. That's a weird one, though. Mary Poppins, sign out. Yeah, that sounds awesome. Good job, Jacob. That was fucked up. I thought of... I agree. I thought of that the other day when I was at Disneyland
Starting point is 00:54:55 winning stuffed animals. I was thinking, what would be a good two Disney movie? That's a humble brag. I'm Mary Poppins, sign out, y'all. I think somebody tweeted at me or said it to me on Instagram or something. But anyway, congratulations, Jacob. You won that game. You get to go first in the next game, which is Ron Bennington's Adjusted for Inflation Bureau game.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Here's how this works. Jacob gets to go first in the first round. We're going to do four rounds. I'll name an actor, actress, and then each of you, in order, coming this way from Jacob, have to guess what movie of theirs might be in their top three at the domestic box office after being adjusted for inflation, according to boxofficemojo.com.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Adjusted for inflation? Mm-hmm. Doesn't affect it that, in that big of a way, with more recent movies. Well, if you say Bert Riddles, though. Right, exactly. What happens then?
Starting point is 00:55:58 Exactly. What if you say Jacob's dick? Wait, what? Adjusted for inflation, sir. I still don't get it. Is that a Jew joke? Are you trying to say his penis is cheap? I'm trying to say that interest is static.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Oh, my God. I can't believe you walked right into it. I don't see that I did You just pulled that out of nowhere I think what you're trying to say is And so have you You're trying to say I'm a grower not a shower In layman's terms
Starting point is 00:56:34 Something like that I'll vouch for that It's all context Thanks for getting my dick involved in the show It's most important It just came out of nowhere In no time at all Where did this dick come from?
Starting point is 00:56:52 Holy shit That was a thing that she may have said at some time Alright Jacob start us off You get one point You get three points if you figure out the number one
Starting point is 00:57:07 movie from this person and the person in question is Gillian Anderson Gillian Anderson yeah it's an interesting one I think
Starting point is 00:57:21 but I'm I'm looking right at it now does she have to be a star or is this any movie that she was in? Any movie she was in, yeah. Anything they were in. I try to keep track of every once in a while to be like a cameo or something that slips by.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Joanne Anderson. There's one I want to say and I can't think of the title. Oh shit. I'm going to have to say something. I mean, Jesus. Joanne Anderson. something I mean Jesus I don't know what all right yeah I don't know what I don't want to give it to Amy the X-Files movie oh that Jillian I was thinking of the
Starting point is 00:58:04 one from the one from... Are you thinking of Jillian Anderson? The one that died from breast cancer that was on It's a Living. What was her name? Oh, Ann Jillian. Yeah, I was thinking of her. I was like, why would he pick her? Because she was in that one movie
Starting point is 00:58:16 with Charles Bronson when she was the first lady and he had to protect her. I was like, it's got to be that one. It's the only movie she's ever done. All right. All right, sorry. Sorry, everybody.
Starting point is 00:58:24 No, this person's been in a few movies. But Amy, I need the exact title. X-Files the movie. Okay, you're going with X-Files the movie. Well, first I said the X-Files movie. I tried. Right? But I'm just saying you've got to pick an exact title.
Starting point is 00:58:42 The X-Files. Carlos? The X-Files. Somewhere out there. Yeah, it's not American Tale, dude. So where Yeah, it's not American Tail, dude. So, where?
Starting point is 00:59:09 The X-Files. Huh? What? What are you saying? I was going to say, the X-Files of Truth is out there? Yes. That's what it is.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Shoot the yes out there. I'm in charge. I am the quiz master. Does that hurt tough? All right, so that's your guess? Sure. Something like that? Can I have a guess for fun that won't count for points?
Starting point is 00:59:32 What? Can I have a guess for fun that won't count for points? Yeah, it'll be so much fun and not take up any time. I love it. Go. X-Files, Fight the Future. What? X-Files, Fight the Future.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Fight the Future, okay. All right, coming in at number three for Gillian Anderson, The Last King of Scotland. Yeah, she's in that movie. With Forrest Whitaker. And then number two, The X-Files, I Want to Believe.
Starting point is 00:59:59 Oh. And then coming in at number one for three points, it's Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:06 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Oh. Oh. Oh. Hey, there's still three more rounds of this. Thank you, everyone. In this round, you get to go first, and the actor's name is David Duchovny.
Starting point is 01:00:37 Oh, jeez. X-Files, I Want to Believe. Okay, Carlos. Oh, shit. A David Duchovny masterpiece. David Duchovny. House of D. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:01 Top Gun. No. No. He wasn't in that? Fuck, I don't know. David Duchovny. Yeah, I know who he is. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Starting point is 01:01:16 I don't fucking know when he was in. Okay. Jacob. The X-Files. Yes. You sure you want to go with that? I'm going with The X-Files. Okay. You sure you want to go with that? I'm going with The X-Files. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:27 Company number three for Mr. David Duchovny, Beethoven. Yeah, he was like the bad guy in the Beethoven movie. Beethoven dragged him across a lawn at the end of a chain. With Charles Groth. Mm-hmm. Company number two,
Starting point is 01:01:43 David Duchovny apparently had a brief role in the classic Working Girl Working Girl and then coming in at number one for three points to Jacob it's The X-Files why wouldn't I
Starting point is 01:01:59 say that if they were both in it it does seem pretty odd when that happens, but you'd be surprised how often I could slip things by people. Beethoven! Alright, so
Starting point is 01:02:18 Carlos gets to start us off in this next round. the person whose name tag he chose is very excited. And we person whose name Jackie chose is very excited. And we're going with Kevin Spacey. Frank Underwood. Yes,
Starting point is 01:02:36 House of Cards does not count. One of his biggest grossing flicks. I'll say I'll go Horrible Bosses.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Okay. No? Okay, fuck it, then I won't. You don't, it's not Price is Right. Like, higher, higher. The audience doesn't get to tell you whether or not they like your answer.
Starting point is 01:02:56 The fuck is Kevin Spacey? And Gaio? That's a good answer. Horrible Bosses made a lot of fucking money. It made a lot of fucking money. Just because they don't fuck him, I don't care. I just care about Guillermo fucking Gremlin guy over there.
Starting point is 01:03:08 Is it just the actual release, or is it throughout the run of the film or whatever? In theaters. But, you know, sometimes things get re-released, and that's why Gone with the Wind is still way up there. What's the one with the fucking stuff? I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Competitor?
Starting point is 01:03:27 Yeah, sure. What's the one that he was with the girl in American Beauty? Okay. Okay. Jacob? I feel pretty good about this. Superman Returns.
Starting point is 01:03:44 Alright. Played Lex Luthor in that. Everyone hates that. Amy? I'm going to say Pay It Forward. Okay. That's an interesting guess. It depends on how you define wealth.
Starting point is 01:04:03 That movie did get a lot of karma. You're so wise. It made a lot of karma You're so wise It made a lot of karma Bennington doesn't adjust for karma His name's Ron Bennington Whatever He's a wonderful man If someone said Steve Seraph
Starting point is 01:04:20 I'd be like his name's Jacob I want to meet that guy Sounds way cooler Like a more gentile me Steve Seraph, I'd be like, his name's Jacob. I want to meet that guy. Sounds way cooler. Like a more Gentile-y me. Did you guys see that Jacob's been gentrified? Doesn't make any sense. All right.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Did you name one? Me? Yeah. Oh, yeah, pay it forward. I'm sorry. I forgot because I don't see it here. You'd see it in your heart if you ever watched it. I thought I could trick somebody into saying working girl because Kevin Spacey appears briefly in that.
Starting point is 01:05:02 But that came in at number seven, so that would have been, none of you fell for that. But that came in at number seven. So that would have been, none of you fell for that. But then coming in at number one, interestingly enough, because we did mention cameos and short parts, he's in Austin Powers and Goldmember briefly. And then also
Starting point is 01:05:18 he's the voice of the grasshopper bad guy in A Bug's Life. A Bug's Life is number two. And then coming up at number three for one point for Jacob, it's Superman Returns. This is a real barn burner.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Jacob has four. Amy has three. Then there's some other guys. Hey, Doug. Yes. One for four. Amy. Ba-boom, ba-boom. guys. Hey Doug. Yes. What if we ordered a couple drinks? Oh okay. That could be pretty cool right? Yeah go ahead ask for ask away. Can I please have a tall tea dozen soda? I drank that before I met Doug. Just want you guys to know. Can I get a Red Bull? Coffee.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Is anyone? Somebody in the audience. What? Thank you, girl. You can drink anything you want and that's what you asked for? I'm a recovered alcoholic. If I drink alcohol,
Starting point is 01:06:16 then I want to rob everybody. Oh, that's what you're doing all that drunk driving before. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. And I got to calm down on it, too. Got to strike. I'm a recovered alcoholic. I Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. And I gotta calm down on it, too. Gotta strike. I'm a recovered alcoholic.
Starting point is 01:06:27 I mean, I still drink and drive, but... They still have strikes? But I recover. They still have strikes? Nah. You said I gotta strike. No, I got a felony, but I don't gotta strike. They still have strikes.
Starting point is 01:06:36 I gotta... They do? Yeah. That's a thing? Yeah. It's not a thing that would affect you, mostly. As a Jewish white privileged... Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:45 He was like, what? I would also like a Cheetos and soda, which I've been drinking before I was drinking them. What were their things before you were born? I was drinking them before they started serving them here. How about you, Amy? No, no, not at all. I just don't want people to think that... You're a copycat.
Starting point is 01:07:06 Doug, what would you do in that situation? Would you revert to kettle? That's like if you're sitting in a steakhouse going, I know they ordered steak, but I'm going to go there, too. I've been eating steak for a while now. That's a little different. A little different, you're right. We've got to play this game out here,
Starting point is 01:07:25 and then we got another game to play, so let's go with... Who gets to go first? N'Gayo. And the actor's name is Mike Myers. Oh, shit. Wow. Wow, indeed.
Starting point is 01:07:44 Jacob's walking around. Oh, he's getting a drink. Wayne's World. Oh, thanks, Jacob. I'm going to go with Wayne's World. Made all the money. He's going Wayne's World. Thank you very much. All in. Thank you for the drinks, comedy club. And for the Red Bull for Carlos.
Starting point is 01:07:59 Boom. It's coming. Relax, dude. Stay calm. Now they're going to spit in it because you were an asshole. it's coming relax dude stay calm now they're gonna spit it in because you were an asshole I didn't say it
Starting point is 01:08:10 I didn't say it it was him well fill me coffee why don't you try some decaf man chill out
Starting point is 01:08:17 I was walking along Columbus and one of those groups of naked bicyclers rode by and there's this little Asian girl with her mother and the girl goes,
Starting point is 01:08:27 I didn't need that today. From the mouths of babes. Her mom probably did. It's kind of gross. It's gross. I just go right to How like Uncomfortable I'd be On a bicycle seat With my junk out
Starting point is 01:08:48 Alright And there's like One girl in the group Thanks for throwing me That bone Ew Ew Ew
Starting point is 01:08:57 Alright Wayne's World You said Wayne's World I said Wayne's World Jacob Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me Okay
Starting point is 01:09:12 Amy Austin Powers Gold Member Okay so Austin Powers and Gold Member is that what you want to say? Yep that's what I said That's? Yep, that's what I said. That's what you said. That's what you said.
Starting point is 01:09:32 Thank you, Ben. Clever. Carlos? I agree with Jacob, but... Oh, that's not how the game works. Shit. All right, well, then I'll do... Now you can't pretend your own prize is right,
Starting point is 01:09:43 because that's... $1. You've got to say something different. I've got to say something different. Okay, I'll say that Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. Alright, so what did we have? I had a recap. Wayne's World? And then the rest of you all
Starting point is 01:09:57 figured out the other Austin Powers movies. Alright, so interestingly, the highest ranking Austin Powers movie came Alright, so, interestingly, the highest ranking Austin Powers movie came in at number five. Austin Powers and Goldmember. That's right. And numbers one, two, and
Starting point is 01:10:14 three are Shrek, Shrek 2, and Shrek 3. That's classic. Pardon me, Shrek the third, to be precise. It pisses me off because I just got it, and I looked at it, and I was like, Shrek, fuck. That's like your Mexican gang name. Oh, Shrek.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Mexican gang what? Name, nickname. My name? No. No. El Shrek-o. All right, so that means that Jacob is the winner of Ron Bennington's adjusted for Steve Bennington game. Jacob's killing it.
Starting point is 01:10:47 You did it, yeah. But Jacob gets to go first in the, you know, one of the, I was going to say the granddaddy of all the games, but that's not true. I bet it is.
Starting point is 01:10:57 But this is one that came along and we named it after a granddaddy. It's called Last Man Stanton. Oh! Here we go. I think it's the granddaddy. It's called Last Man Stanton. Oh! Here we go. I think it's the granddaddy. It's my favorite. And we'll start with Jacob
Starting point is 01:11:10 because he keeps winning. And then we'll scoot it around the other way. So it'll go Amy, Carlos, Mgayo, and me. I like to play along. But each of you get to use your lifeline once. That's the person's name tag you chose. You can go to them and only them and the people whispering in their ears
Starting point is 01:11:25 because I can't police the whole room to get an answer one time. I know we're all drinking and smoking and it's a beautiful day in San Francisco. So let's not yell out any answers.
Starting point is 01:11:40 My girl got tats on her face. Some meat and cookies from Oak. I don't remember N'G guy being this musical on the show. You should listen. I've been on it before. Singing. How do you remember when you look back on being on the show with Jacob, what do you
Starting point is 01:11:59 remember most? Racial animus. What's the second word? I feel like I might need to tweet that. A-N-I-M-U-S. Animus. Oh, that might be a good album title for you. Racial animus.
Starting point is 01:12:15 What does it mean so I can pretend like I already knew? Look it up. I'm not even convinced it is a word. There's racial friction caused by you. Really? Yeah, you come out swinging. I don't know if that's... You're mad.
Starting point is 01:12:29 You think I'm mad? No, I'm translating. Oh. That's what animus means. No, not at all. I'm a liberal Jew from San Francisco. I just think race is funny
Starting point is 01:12:37 because I went to public schools here. And you walked around laughing all day? Well, it used to be like all these people here were Chinese when I grew up here and at some point
Starting point is 01:12:48 and cops? yeah all the people are cops used to be Chinese what shows were you doing? everybody everywhere was Chinese San Francisco was Chinese when I was a kid so like that's all we did was make racial jokes about them and they made them about us
Starting point is 01:13:00 I was born here in 1980 and I was Chinese. See? That's why they put her on a boat to Oakland. On a slow boat to Oakland. That was good. All right. Let's play this game, you guys.
Starting point is 01:13:25 Let's. The game, you guys. Let's. The person who I picked from Twitter to give us a suggestion today goes by the name The Boom Camel. Right here. Boom Camel. Hey, Boom Camel. Why do you call yourself that? The Boom Camel. Dude, I used to work with, just said it'd be a funny name.
Starting point is 01:13:45 What? Really? Is it because camels are hard to hear? What are you fucking saying? Somebody had him a megaphone. So terrorist-y, the Boom Camel. Just yell. A buddy said you should call yourself the Boom Cam who told me he thought it sounded funny. A buddy said you should call yourself the boom camel? Because he thought it was funny. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:14:09 That was so anticlimactic. Did he also pick out any of your tattoos? Because they're probably terrible. I thought he was going to say something like, I was on a film crew in the desert one time. Yeah, no. Everyone was passed out from dehydration. It's pretty amazing.
Starting point is 01:14:24 You think what people might be named after, and that's why I like to ask, because it's like, nope, just thought the boom camel sounded good. I thought he was going to have a desert storm story or something. He's like, I was back in the land, and I can't wait to get the grenades. I was in charge of the grenades.
Starting point is 01:14:40 Yeah, yeah, he's like, I'm the boom camel. He said, ask about me. It's because, like, yeah. He's like, I'm the boom camel. He said, ask about me. It's because, like, you can drink a lot and store it in your hump and that kind of thing. Is that why your buddy
Starting point is 01:14:53 calls you a camel? Because that would make sense. You go into a bar, look out, boom camel! You go in at happy hour, by the time you leave, they're out of Schlitz. Just once a year, though.
Starting point is 01:15:07 Schlitz? Yeah, that was a fun beer name, don't you think? It's got a Z. It sounds cheap, too, right? We're going to get Schlitz-based. All right, so Boom Camel, what do you got for us for a name, and it better not be somebody that's an ishtar. Jeff Goldblum.
Starting point is 01:15:24 Who? Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum. All right. Wow. That's a good one. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Jeff Goldblum. Start with you there, Jacob. Okay. The Fly. Let's go on The Fly.
Starting point is 01:15:39 Might be my favorite Jeff Goldblum performance. Definitely might. Amy? Jurassic Park. Definitely mine. Maybe. Amy? Jurassic Park. Mm-hmm. I want to believe. I want to believe-chaos theory. Me?
Starting point is 01:16:01 What? My turn, yeah. Yes. Jurassic Park, The Lost World Part 2 right Alright this is gonna get ugly No no it's cool It's the first round so I'm gonna let it go But it's oddly named
Starting point is 01:16:15 That's all I'll say What do you think it's called They don't do it right It's in the wrong order Oh so it's Lost World, Jurassic Park? Yes. Okay. Almost. Is it not at the beginning? Yeah. Oh, it's so confusing.
Starting point is 01:16:32 The Lost World. Alright, guys. We got it out of the way. Fuck that movie. What's it got? Vince Vaughn in it? Fuck it. Go back to comedy. What are you doing in dramas? He said Raptors, baby. Raptors.
Starting point is 01:16:46 Thor 3 Ragnarok? Does that count? You know, again, it's first round play, so I'll let things slide. Oh, I got some reserved. We'll save them up, because I'm going to let that one go. We'll allow that, because I am excited about Ragnarok. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:04 146 days until it's released and people can say it in this game legit. Alright, I'm gonna go with Annie Hall. Whoa, wow. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:19 He just says some line about his mantra and that's his whole point. Jacob. Independence Day. Good choice. Amy. Thor. Yes.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Are you extrapolating that because he's in the next Thor that he might have been in an earlier Thor? No, I said, I want to go to my lifeline. Okay. Jenica, what have you got for Amy? Nine months. Nine months.
Starting point is 01:17:53 All right. Filmed in this era. I'm also in that movie. M'Gayo's in nine months? Yeah. Cha-ching. Is that why you said it? Did you know that M'Gaya was in that movie?
Starting point is 01:18:05 Please feel free. I get like half a cent. As the fetus. Sean's friend number one. You do have a lot of kids, so that makes sense. I'm Sean's friend number one. Is that Hugh Grant? No, Jeff Goldblum.
Starting point is 01:18:19 Jeff is Sean. I'm his artistic friend. He was his friend. Artistic. Do you think Jeff friend. He was his friend. Artistic. Do you think Jeff Goldblum was, like, at the height of his sexual, like, wasn't he really in shape in that movie? Here's what I noticed on the set. Everyone, every movie star I saw has a gigantic head, like physically much bigger than everybody else's head. And I started to wonder,
Starting point is 01:18:46 is my head even big enough to think about being in movies? Because, yeah, I'm done. Tom Arnold has a giant head. Joan Cusack has a big fucking head. And I still love her. You're naming all the great movie stars.
Starting point is 01:18:57 Jeff Goldblum has a giant head. The first two he goes to. Danny Glover's head is fucking huge. Johnny Depp looks like a fucking Muppet when you see him in real life. He's a tiny guy. Huge fucking head. Johnny Depp looks like a fucking Muppet when you see him in real life. This tiny guy. Huge fucking head. It's scientific.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Tom Arnold and Joan Cusack are the first two movie stars. They're in nine months. Oh, yeah. Try to hold it together. I thought that was just a random... I didn't get it either. I attacked you for the same reason, which makes Jacobs even stranger. We can all still be friends.
Starting point is 01:19:26 Whose turn is it to pick a Jeff Goldblum film? It's me. So I'm going to go. Fuck, I just had it. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Oh, here it is. Deep Cover. Oh, yeah. That's a good move. Yeah, and you don't stop.
Starting point is 01:19:43 All right. Good job. Into the Night. That's a good one. David Bowie and Michelle Pfeiffer, directed by John Landis. There's no bonus points. I know, I just like to show off some shit sometimes. But that is a good one.
Starting point is 01:19:59 If people haven't ever seen that, that's a good movie. It's not bad. It's a little slow. It's interesting. It's got lots of cameos. David Boyd was great. I'm going to go with a movie Jeff Goldblum was in called Mr. Frost. Ooh, okay.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Nice. Interesting. I don't think I've ever seen it. I think he turns into a snowman. Wait, that's Michael Keaton that turns into a snowman. Oh, yeah, that's right. So, wait, was he in it, though? No, he's in a thing called Mr. Frost.
Starting point is 01:20:30 That was Jack Frost. That was Jack Frost. Okay. That was Jack Frost, Jake. Your turn. It's Chinatown, Jake. Okay, I may or may not be bluffing, but I'm pretty thin. You're going to go to your lifeline?
Starting point is 01:20:44 No, but I'm going to go with Earth Girls Are Easy. Why is that bluffing? About that I'm kind of thin at this point. That part may or may not be bluffing, but it probably is. All right. Earth Girls Are Easy. Amy, what happened to you? What?
Starting point is 01:21:02 Well, you used your lifeline in the time since then if you thought of another one. I'm going to say Mars attacks. Oh, I like your... That's smart. That's got a lot of people in it. You know what I'm doing? You have a chance? Jeff Goldblum was not
Starting point is 01:21:17 one of them. But that was really... Are you sure? That was good. You took a good shot and thank you for being a great player and a great guest. And a good friend. Most important. You're all so sweet to me.
Starting point is 01:21:33 Carlos? I'm going to go with the fly. We already did that one. That was the first one out of the jar. Fuck, I was somewhere else. I'm sorry. Then I'll do the... The hideaway. It's when he has, shit, I'll do The Hideaway. It's when he has a serial killer
Starting point is 01:21:48 and he has, they do the same mimes. You remember that shit? That's an old school ass movie. No, it's for real. I'm not bullshitting. The Hideaway?
Starting point is 01:21:58 Yeah, the serial killer is in his mind and he's like hiding his mind and fucking starts turning it and he's trying
Starting point is 01:22:02 to kill his own daughter and shit. The Hideaway? It might be hide, I don't, I don't think, The Hideaway. It might be Hide... I don't... I don't think... The Hideaway. No.
Starting point is 01:22:08 You mean like a hideaway key under a rock under a mat? I can't remember. I think he got a car accident with a dude or something like that but their minds kind of melded or some shit like that.
Starting point is 01:22:17 It's like in the fucking early, early 90s. It was like right after. It was like deep cover like right after that. You know what? All right. Well, no one is objecting
Starting point is 01:22:23 too strenuously. Because I don't think everybody's just had their mouth open. Like is this a real thing? I said House of D earlier. I know all these old dumb ass movies.
Starting point is 01:22:30 She didn't know what House of D was. That's David Duchovny directed that shit. House of D? Yeah, David Duchovny shit he directed that. She looked at me like
Starting point is 01:22:35 what the fuck is House of D? I was like it's a movie podcast right? You're supposed to have this geek knowledge. And apparently you guys don't fucking know. Why aren't you sharing
Starting point is 01:22:41 your cocaine? That's what I want to know. We've known each other for 36 hours now. I haven't seen a nair bump. You don't get a point for talking the longest. Just answer... I tried and you keep fucking giving me the rope to hang myself on. The hideaway.
Starting point is 01:22:59 Are we going to go with that? Good for you if you got that one past me. I think you believe in it. The hideaway. Yeah. N'Gaya? The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the air. Nice! Big bootay!
Starting point is 01:23:16 Very good. It's not my planet, it's a monkey boy. Buckaroo Banzai. Why don't you give him my jacket? Because you're perfect, Tommy. Oh, that's true. Alright, I'm going to try to say it right. And I, you know, I think I put up a good fight if I fail.
Starting point is 01:23:34 Fly. It's fly. The. Is that what you were going to say? The fly? No. No. Independence Day Resurgence Is that the way it's Is that what it's called?
Starting point is 01:23:51 Alright Is he in it? Yeah he's in it That's why I said it But I didn't know Fucking resurgence Is such a Like what does that even mean?
Starting point is 01:24:03 Animus Yeah that's Leaving the theater does that even mean? Animus. Yeah, that's... Leaving the theater, I was like, Independence Day, Animus. Is what I'd call it. I think he was in a movie called The Great White Hype. Okay. People have your back on that,
Starting point is 01:24:19 so you get that one. It was Peter Berg and somebody else. Carlos? Lifeline. The Grand Budapest Hotel that's a good one I was just oh all right and Gaio. Sheila. Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. What? Jeff Goldblum? No, he's not. You probably saw the trailer for Thor Ragnarok before
Starting point is 01:24:53 you saw Guardians, and it all mind-blended into your mind-blend. So you got him out? Did you get him out? That's dope as shit. He's in a scene in the credits. He's in the credits. In a scene.
Starting point is 01:25:09 He's in one of those circles. Oh, in the Easter eggs. That's him. He's in one of the circles. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Oh, she did it! Yeah. She redeemed herself.
Starting point is 01:25:20 She redeemed herself. I'm going to say the name of a movie that he was in that took place at a small newspaper, maybe it was a college newspaper, called Between the Lines. Between the Lines. Word?
Starting point is 01:25:36 Yeah. It's legit. Jacob? The guy who thought of another one? Who's still in it? Huh? Who's still in it? Yeah, four of us. Everyone except for Amy.
Starting point is 01:25:50 Sorry. You didn't have to say it that way. Not all, yeah. Three of these things, baby. You got another one? That's right. I might have to go to Lifeline, but wait a second.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Wait, you got a Lifeline and you're sitting there making us wait? Yeah. Go to your Lifeline. I want to save it. Use it. Three seconds then. Two, one.
Starting point is 01:26:11 Wow, that's impossible. Go to your Lifeline. All right. Or pass or lose. I think Cody or Jenny. What do you got? Yeah, there's a couple of them over there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:21 Cody, Jenny, what do you got? Let's do it. Wait, if you pick two name tags, you get two lifelines? No, no, there's two on one. No, there's two on one name tag here. I'm ignoring you. That's the loophole he's trying to use. But I don't care. No, I'm not using, I'm only using one. But everybody gets a lifeline. Go. What's the answer? What's my lifeline? Go.
Starting point is 01:26:37 Oh, they don't have anything. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Neither one of them had any? None of them. Well, no, I didn't ask the other. You didn't ask the girl? No, I didn't ask her. Just for... Yeah, that's okay. You didn't pick either.
Starting point is 01:27:01 Yeah. You didn't pick either. No. Yeah, I told him he could only pick one of the two name tags, because that's only fair. Yeah, I picked the wrong one. She has one, man.
Starting point is 01:27:10 She's got one, but it's too late now, so. Keep it to yourself, Edith. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. What are you waiting for, what? You're out. Okay. Yeah, it's over.
Starting point is 01:27:19 Okay. Yeah. Sorry, dude. I'm gonna go with Life Aquatic of Steve Zizou. Yes! Sorry, dude. I'm going to go with Life Aquatic of Steve Zizou. Yes!
Starting point is 01:27:29 The Big Chill. Shit! Yeah, that's a big one. This one's also going to blow your minds. Tombstone. No? I stopped myself. I stopped myself.
Starting point is 01:27:43 Silver fucking Rada. Silver Rada. He had the crazy sideburns. What was the first movie? You stopped yourself so I didn't know what the first movie was. I almost said Tombstone because that's got
Starting point is 01:27:53 everybody in it too. I only heard 99% of that. It's Silver Rada. Silver Rada. With the young Kevin Costner. All right, Carlos, you done? I'm going to go with Shit. He has a cameo in something. I'm going to go with Shit.
Starting point is 01:28:06 He has a cameo in something. I bet he does. Damn it. The end credits of Volume 2. He's also in Shit, man. I think I'm done. Yo, he's in The Fly 2.
Starting point is 01:28:22 There's a picture of his dad. He's the dad. He's in it. There's a picture of his dad. He's the dad. Boom. He's in it. It's credited. He gets paid. Same with Chris. Right?
Starting point is 01:28:30 I'm going to state my case. I know. That's a tough one. In the credits, it's like, picture of Jeff Koblo played by Jeff Koblo. There's a still photo of him in the movie? I think there's a very good chance. Hey, look, it's Enrico Palazzo. I think there's a very good chance you see a picture of him for some reason, and they
Starting point is 01:28:44 could get the rights to that. I don't know if he's credited in the movie, but I'm going to give it to you because I'm trying for you. You already probably don't deserve to win because of that hideaway shit. Lungayo? Ten Speed and Brown Shoot.
Starting point is 01:29:03 Television show. I know. Hold on. Give me a second. I could... What? What are you... I'm good at horse.
Starting point is 01:29:17 I'm good at horse. It's game now. It's game time. We gotta go, you guys. What? I mean, we gotta... Show's gotta wrap up soon, so... Okay. Fuck. A League of time. We gotta go, you guys. What? I mean, the show's gotta wrap up soon, so... Oh, okay. Fuck. A League of Their Own. I don't fucking know.
Starting point is 01:29:30 That's his wife, Gina Davis. Or his ex-wife. His ex-wife, yeah. I like a quiz game where everyone's like, I don't fucking know. What the fuck are y'all over me about this shit for? The hell's happening? I didn't need this today.
Starting point is 01:29:46 You did not need it today. All that sweaty ass. What? Hang on a second. I'll decide who wins. I gotta see if I'm gonna beat you. Okay, alright. Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Starting point is 01:30:03 Suckers. They go, um... I don't... He might not be in it. Mr. Fox. Suckers. He might not be in it. I know. JFK. I just thought another Wes Anderson might make sense. Was he in that? I don't know if he was or not. So let's say it. It's official.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Carlos is our winner today. Yes. Got it for you. Thank you. What other ones? Carlos is our winner today. Yes. Yes. Got it for you. Yes. Woo! What other ones? You were trying to tell me one and I couldn't read your lips.
Starting point is 01:30:31 The Hideaway 2. Where's the- Mordecai. Where's this person that you're playing for here, the Gremlins name tag? Boom, this guy. Guillermins.
Starting point is 01:30:42 Guillermins. Where you at? Where you at, man? Come on down to get all your prizes. You might want to bring a friend. There's a lot of stuff to carry.
Starting point is 01:30:50 You came back to win? Yeah. That's pretty impressive, Don. I'm telling you. Just any time. Is that like the Patriots out of the Falcons?
Starting point is 01:30:57 Is that you? That's you? Can I come back? Oh, it's your husband? Oh, okay. You don't have to come down, dude, if she can handle it. Congratulations.
Starting point is 01:31:05 Yay! Do you want your poster back? Well, you got a free fire stick. They're very heavy. And a Batman 66 Funko. And a lunchbox and some comic books and some shit. Bag of weed. You got everything.
Starting point is 01:31:28 You got a butt for? Yay! All right. Watch this. Here, here. Watch this. I'll talk about that. Golden.
Starting point is 01:31:43 All right, Jacob. What do you got to plug, buddy? I really don't have anything to plug right now. I got some stuff coming up, but I don't want to... What's that on the Netflix? Flying high on the Netflix? What does that mean? If I were you, I'd say it's something that you want to plug.
Starting point is 01:32:00 Instead of just tossing away the moment, and we took the moment, and then you didn't do anything with it. Just say something. Okay, well, it's comedy knockout on True TV. I wrote on that show. Yay! Amy, do you have anything to plug? God damn it.
Starting point is 01:32:15 Yes, if you live in Portland, I'll be there in a couple weeks with Adam Conover and Helium. And also, this Wednesday, I am dropping my brand new podcast Who's Your God, where we interview comedians about their religious beliefs. That's awesome. Oh, wow. That's a really good idea. So follow me
Starting point is 01:32:33 at Amy Miller on Twitter, or follow Who's Your God cast on Twitter. And Wednesday, we have our first episode. Will you be on it? I don't speak about that publicly. It's private. It's special.
Starting point is 01:32:47 It's for me. Sounds like a yes! But I do need a place to recruit more people for my cult, so I will happily be on the show. Where's a big name tag I can hit? Oh, there it is. Missed it. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Did I hit somebody behind it? I'm sorry. Apologies. Carlos Rodriguez? Yeah, you can catch me at Carlos Comedy on Twitter and Instagram. Oh, shit. August 12th, I'll be with... That's what I was supposed to do. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:33:20 I'll be with Brent Ernst and Pete Geovine in New Jersey at the House of Independence in Ashbury, New Jersey. It's donut madness. All right. Dungayo. June 23rd, 24th, Salt Lake City with Brian Pesani and Wise Guys. Mid-July 14th through the 16th, just outside of Bend, Oregon at the Crawl Fest.
Starting point is 01:33:41 Check my podcast on CannabisRadio.com called Rolling With Mgaio and buy my CD outside after the show. He holds up this gigantic name tag, tries to catch it with his hand, fucking nips it
Starting point is 01:33:55 right into the carpeting, which I'm sure isn't gross at all here at a comedy club. Takes a bite. Like a champ. Like a fucking champ. It's like a human vacuum cleaner.
Starting point is 01:34:10 Why do people do that? Don't move the sign away. This one looks amazing. It's got like s'mores on top of it. It's a s'mores donut. Don't throw that. Somebody should eat it. There she goes.
Starting point is 01:34:33 Doug has a heart. Did you do your plugs in Gaia? June 23rd and 24th at Wiseguy's in Salt Lake City. Yes, he did. I remember now. I remember. Buy my CDs,
Starting point is 01:34:49 listen to my podcast. Uh-oh, Jacob has something else to say. The movie's called Hideaway. I made Amy Google it. It's called Hideaway. Did you? But I feel like
Starting point is 01:34:57 if you're Mexican, you could do The Hideaway, Hideaway, The Hideaways. Racial animals. Yeah, El Hideaway. Racial animal,
Starting point is 01:35:03 whatever you call it. He said Hideaway. Racial animal. Like I said, I wasn't worried about it. It was another waste of time. Thank you guys so much for being here. One more time for all of my guests. N'Gayo Bila,
Starting point is 01:35:16 Carlos Rodriguez, Jacob Seroff, and Amy Miller. Yeah, okay. Not right now, dude. I'm still doing a podcast. I gotta do the little wrap-up thing here. I'm gonna give both of those name tags their, I'm gonna say their shitheads
Starting point is 01:35:41 because they deserve it. Yeah. They're probably just sitting back there the whole time confident that they were going to win. You're never going to be madder than that. If you ever see that movie The Hideaway excuse me, Hideaway
Starting point is 01:35:55 you're just going to be pissed at it the entire time. Oh, I had one more plug I wanted to say about Me Too. Yeah, you already know about tomorrow. I'm doing stand-up at the Comedy Connection in Providence on Monday, June 19th. Thank you to Cobb's Comedy Club. Thank you to all you guys for coming out this afternoon
Starting point is 01:36:20 and being such a fun crowd. And as always uh depression is a head they've got a scary laugh um rick caller rick is a head Rick, Caller Rick is a shithead Okay we got 7 or 8 people here that hate him And one guy who said fuck that motherfucker Don't know what that's about Oh they didn't even write down two shitheads
Starting point is 01:36:57 This one is really cool though you guys I really like this one I'm going to keep this one I know I don't normally do that. And finally, live drivers who turn the wrong way and make your friends late to the show.
Starting point is 01:37:13 Oh, and anyone in politics named Huckabee is a shithead. Once again, thanks to Dog Shave Club for pitching in and sponsoring on today's episode. For a great shave at a great price, join Dollar Shave Club. New members get their first month of Executive Razor and a tube of Dr. Carver's Shave Butter for only $5 with free shipping. After that, razors are just a few bucks a month. That's a $15 value for only $5.
Starting point is 01:37:44 Get yours at dollarshaveclub.com slash Doug. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.

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