Doug Loves Movies - Ngaio Bealum, "Mark Wahlberg," and Andy Wood Guest

Episode Date: July 12, 2014

Live from the Punch Line in Sacramento, Doug welcomes comedians Ngaio Bealum and Andy Wood and movie star "Mark Wahlberg" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seats with 50 azimuth or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug loves movies! Hey everybody My name is Doug and I love movies This is Unlocked Movies That's probably the best one ever You guys fucking nailed it Because you know how important perfection is to me And you guys all really stepped up

I appreciate it Alright here we go We're coming to you once again From the Punchline Comedy Club In Sacramento, California On Saturday, July 12th, 2014 Wolf of Wall Street fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day

Did I say street fight Terminator 2 Judgment Day of the dead men walking tall. The president's men in black. Fisher King, Ralph, a dog day afternoon. Delight, sleep perfect, murder by death. Wish three amigos to world's end of Watchmen Don't Leaving Las Vegas. Put that on a fucking marquee. If you're not into that whole brevity thing. Sacramento, I know you did it.

Let me see your name tags. Always a great selection here in Sacramento. There's Emilio. I could see Emilio. I could see Connie Eyre. Is that it? That's a good one. Payne and Bane.

Oh. Mark Wahlberg and Bane. That's two of my favorite things. Just a hot lady in between. Was she even in that movie? I don't think so either. Dijani instead of Dijango? That's interesting

for a white man. It sure is. The D should definitely be silent. X-Men what of the future? DLMs of future past. Okay.

And your name is John B. That's why it's called a John B film Oh okay very nice Oh there's a really big Attractive one that's like a Work of art you got there It's a fancy lady with a piece of pizza And it says pizza at Tiffany's And that's and your name is Tiffany?

It is. And you just assumed I like pizza? I like pizza. I like pizza too, Tiffany. I want pizza for breakfast at Tiffany's. Well, thank you guys all for... Oh, giant cookie. Giant cookie.

Oh, instead of super high me, it says super high D. I like that, D. And where'd you get that cookie? This is a Mrs. Fields original. And it says... It says Christian loves Doug. Oh, okay. I thought it said Christian lovers.

And then Doug loves movies. I was like, well, that is a weird-ass cookie. Yeah, Christian Lovers website. You heard about it during the break on Doug Loves Movies while we ate Christian's name tag because that does look delicious. So I think we should just throw it

into the smoke circle outside in the parking lot after the show. Just watch everybody tear into it. I didn't do anything to make that noise, nor that other one. Just sitting here minding my own business. Shit, I recorded an album here. That worked out great.

There's no technical problems that night. But thanks again for bringing your name tags. If you're in the L.A. area tomorrow, are you guys going to drive down? Come to see the Doug Diggs at Screening of Goon at CineFamily at 420. You know, you can get

drunk during the World Cup final and then come enjoy some hockey. Yeah. Enjoy some real violence. And that's all then come enjoy some hockey. Yeah. Enjoy some real violence. That's all at cinefamily.org. Monday night, we are doing another Getting Doug with High live at Largo. You can

see it in person for $20 or watch it for free at 9.15 Pacific Standard Time on my YouTube channel. Did I mention that Pete Holmes will be there? No, I did not. Oh, he's going to be so awful when he's high.

Now it's time for Tweet Relief. Tweets about movies. At Randy Lawson, that's Randy with an I, tweeted, if you watch Pretty Woman Backwards, Richard Gere abandons his girlfriend on Hollywood Boulevard

because she started refusing to kiss him. That's a solid tweet. This has been tweet relief. Tweets about prostitutes refusing to kiss Richard Gere. Canada. This next message is for Canada. I know you guys

aren't going to race up there for this, but oh, maybe you are. Maybe people come from all over the world. Next Thursday through Sunday is the Pemberton Music Festival, and I'll be in the comedy tent or hole or pit or wherever they put the comedy, and I'll be there on Saturday. But I'll be hanging out all tent or hole or pit or wherever they put the comedy. And I'll be there on Saturday. But I'll be hanging out all weekend.

It's an amazing lineup of acts at this festival. I'm excited to see, thank you for asking, I want to see Kendrick Lamar. I want to see Outkast, Soundgarden. Yeah, it's fucking crazy, this festival. It's really good. Flaming Lips are going to be there, I think. Yeah, it's fucking crazy, this festival. It's really good. Flaming Lips are going to be there, I think. Oh, shit. I'm excited.

All right, let's look in the prize bag, you guys. It's a big one. I will get this microphone at the right level. You can't not stand in front of the Capitol building and not do a little Schwarzenegger impression. This is kind of interesting. I get weird stuff sent to me now, like promotional items.

And this is like, I was like, what is this hat box or candy or what's in this? And it says almost royal on the front of it. And that's a new like reality comedy show where these two people pretend to be like, you know, royal family members and they come over here and they act like complete assholes.

What I've seen of it's pretty funny. And what I saw of it was on this disc right here, they sent me like the pilot and then they also sent me a little teacup, a cute little teacup. A cute little teacup. And then you can put the two lead cast members in the teacup and their body

is a teabag. I want to see that. A show about two people from England whose bodies are teabags. How they try to fit into society. So yeah. So that's all in a big hat box. And I think you can see that show on BBC America.

I guess they deserve a plug for sending me that. I'm passing the savings along to you guys. I also got a stack of comic books at an event recently. And this top one is called Tales of the World Famous Drive-Thru Bud, B-U-D, starring Budzilla. As you can see, Budzilla bites his jays

off of volcanoes. Why wouldn't he? Oh, there it is! Getting Doug with High Mug! Thank you! oh there it is getting done with Hi Mug also got a shirt from Black Lake Records I think it's a record

company in Scotland that sent me a box of stuff oh really you're from Scotland but you're in Sacramento interesting transition

how are you fitting in yes because everyone here is very polite People on meth are super polite Not you guys Nobody that's on meth came to this show What should we do? Douglas Movies! We've got

a copy of the recently released Gateway Doug 2, forced fun. Thank you. That was sort of forced applause right there. And then a $10 gift card for iTunes and a Douglas Movies t-shirt in a specific size.

So good luck being the right size. One of the other guests was nice enough to bring a shirt in more than one size so that you can barter with him afterwards for your proper size. Please, these are three of my favorite guests because they all know how to play the games and none of them will even remotely come close to reading

the shithead off the back of their name tag. Please give a big, warm welcome to Ungayo Beelum, Andy Wood, and Mark Wahlberg. Mark, are you all right? Like, why are you moving so slow? Because they'll fucking wait for it. That's why. Oh, you gave him kind of a slow entrance just to get him all extra whooped up? Yep.

How you guys doing? You doing good? Ooh, I got a fun idea for in a little bit Mark I already forgot it No The idea is to Do you have a line for doing lines with Mark Ready to go

Yeah for sure Okay alright So we'll play one where the audience gets to play. Let's do it. Yeah, but I'll tell you when. You're lucky I was in town, bro. I'll tell you when. I'll tell you when.

Don't do it whenever you want, like you do on my show in L.A. You know what? We'll let you direct the show. Now, is that something that you said to Michael Bay at any point during the making? Nope, that's all me. That's why it's so fucking good. Wait a second. You're saying this on my podcast

that you directed Transformers? Here's the deal. He would say what he wanted to do and then he would, you know, set off his fucking fireworks and shit. And then I would pull, like, Optimus to the side. And be like, just fucking follow me on this and that's why it's so good

it's quite a walk pulling him aside no he just bends down yup I'm not going up there you fucking come down here well all I have to say about that movie is

rest in peace Lucas Flannery and Andy Wood is here you guys let's hear it for Andy Wood I don't want to pander but I used to live around here for a little while

I did some time in pander, but I used to live around here for a little while. I did some time in Folsom. By that, I worked at Intel for a semester, is what I mean. That counts, right? Totally. Yes. All right. All right.

Fair enough. You're an old sack master. Yes. And you are also, you've created events all over the globe on one coast. You are behind the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland every year in the April-May range. Portland fans. Some people know it. And then also the L.A. Podfest.

The L.A. Podcast Festival is partially your doing. Coming up third year, September 26th through the 28th, and I believe Douglas Movies is closing out the festivities. It's the closing night event. Yeah. And what else do we have to say about it? That it's

moved. It was out at the beach in Santa Monica for two years. Yeah, it's in Beverly Hills now. It's more centrally located. Yeah. During the day or whatever, before the podcast starts, you can walk around, maybe run into the Fresh Prince. I saw RuPaul out of drag at the Beverly Center across the street one time.

Out of drag? Yeah. Is that just like a bald guy walking around? Yeah, it's just a tall, skinny, good-looking bald guy. Is he just Paul? He's just Paul, yeah. Handsome gentleman. I think that's why he's not unattractive as a lady.

Right? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's wrong to be attracted to RuPaul. Not at all. It's a hot chick, bro. It's kind of the problem. I'll fucking call it like I see it.

Do you look good? Yes. Unkayo Bilem is here, you guys. What's up, hometown? City of Trees. City of Trees represent. I was looking at your recent credits. Do I have any? They include the

winner of the rap battle on Getting Dug With High. Getting Dug With High, live in Largo. Yeah, you followed Dan Harmon, which when a white guy is that good at rapping, that's hard to follow as we learned from 8 Mile. Well, we all know Eminem invented hip-hop, or he Columbus-ed it. Correction. Oh, funky bunch!

Funky B in the easy. I forgot. Come on, feel it, feel it. That means nothing? Seminal contribution that you made. Yeah, I thought seminal, what you did, you sort of walked away. You usually get mad

when people bring up the Funky Bunch. You're okay with it now? No, I'm just saying if you're going to say somebody fucking started it, let's go. It wasn't snow, okay?

It was me. I kept thinking of snow, though, because when I was watching your movie, I kept going, Transformer. I wanted to do a cover for the soundtrack.

Yeah, yeah. That would have been good. No, they wouldn't do it. Mark, you also invented the boxer brief, didn't you? Well, I invented fucking showing them off. People used to cover them up all the time. You know what? Do this in black and white.

Let's go fucking artsy. Now, that's a fucking filter on your phone. I started that shit. You invented black and white. Yeah. I saw It's a Wonderful Life. your phone. I started that shit. You invented black and white? Yeah. I saw It's a Wonderful Life. That shit's in color. Now you can see it in black and white.

I bet when we really stop and think about it, you've invented a lot of stuff. When I stop and think about it? Yes, you're right. And you finally got to play an inventor in Transformers 4. I did. I was a fucking robot inventor. Age of distinction. I did. I was a fucking robot inventor. What's that?

I was a robot inventor. A robot inventor. Yeah. I fucking was like, I'll make this fucking robot. Here's the deal. In the movie, spoiler alert, there's a robot that brings you beer that doesn't work.

I fucking thought of that. You know why? Because it only gets halfway. Burn some fucking calories. Get up. Get your beer. Just trying to help people out. Hey, do you want my gift?

Yes, please. All right. You know what this fucking is? Nope. You guys, somebody's about to have their life fucking changed. What is this?

This is called high definition glaze. All right? Light oil highlights and enhances physique to reveal maximum definition. Creates a special glistening effect

perfect for the stage. And after you meet that girl, when you win that fucking bodybuilding competition, great massage oil. Do it, guys. That's going in the bag. Oh, we're not done.

Body glaze. Protein shakes. Oh, of course. That looks like an empty cup. No, I got this from Max Muscle. Brock works there. He'll fucking hook you up. That's not a fucking joke.

His name is Brock. He works at The Mix on Saturday nights. It's downtown. Go to a club. It's cool. And then a magazine. Could you do us a favor and sign that magazine? What's that? Could you sign it? There'll be a magazine. Could you do us a favor and sign that magazine? What's that?

Could you sign it? There'll be a fee, but yeah, I'll fucking sign it. Wait, what just happened? There might be a fee, but don't fucking worry about it. Okay. It's a thing Donnie's got going. I was like, Donnie, you want people to pay? That's the only reason I'm in fucking town, is because

of Donnie. Why? What did he do? Oh my god. Okay. I guess there's a thing in town here called Second Saturdays. It's my weekend with Donnie, so for the last, like, six, seven weeks, he's been making

Dream catchers And we're gonna Fucking sell them I told him I go I'm not fucking selling them But he's like Can I just put your

Fucking picture on the tag I'm like Donnie You do whatever the fuck you want As long as you make money For whatever you do So I'm gonna be out there tonight Sitting in a car While Donnie sells shit

Help him out, guys. And I don't think I've done this yet. Mark Wahlberg is here. Thank you. It's great to be here. How are you guys doing? You doing good? Now, Andy would also, for the prize bag brought,

I should have held this up when we were talking about it, a T-shirt for the podfest, LA podfest, right? Multiple sizes available. See me after the show. Yeah, see him after. If you don't get your size, whoever wins today. Yeah. Are you also taking orders for other ones?

Of course. Speaking of attire, congratulations on your Masters win. I see you came straight from the tournament. Yes, yes. Dude, you won the fucking Masters? I did. Way to go, bro. I did.

Hi, my name's Lee Elder. Pleasure to meet you. I was taking it way back. Look it up, you guys. Don't figure it out. Yeah, and also the listeners are like, what are they talking about? Ungayo is resplendent in a green jacket, listeners.

Thank you. I'm scheduled to meet the cultural attaché. For tea after the show. Yeah, that's why you say scheduled now. Yes, and attaché. Attaché is pronounced the same way by everybody. Does anyone say what's with that attaché? Attaché?

The attaché. I'm in my Versace. I wore my Versace jacket to meet the attaché. Oh, it's Nomi Malone from Showgirls, everybody. Thank you. It's Versace. Yes. Versace is talking great.

Let me make sure I asked all my questions. Oh, was it your idea to get T.J. Miller for Transformers? It was my idea to have him killed. I've been trying not to mention that. That's why I said... No, in life. Rest in peace. They just haven't followed through yet.

He's still alive as far as I know. What's that? You can do that? Oh, yeah. You just go buy a fucking baseball bat And then you find him And you're like, hey, come here Most people I say come here to I can hold a fucking knife

They'll walk right towards me Worst case scenario, you die That's like a Jedi mind trick I know, but best case scenario You get to tell people you got stabbed by Mark Wahlberg People would line up for that shit. He's pretty badass with his bat. In Transformers, he scares away a real estate lady with a baseball bat.

I was like, you're not fucking coming here. Get the fuck out of here. You want to fucking be here? I don't think so. And then she fucking left. And then later on, she was like, what the fuck was with the bat shit? Because nobody fucking told her. She thought I was going to hit her.

Next take, I fucking hit her. Who wants a protein? You do. There you go. You got to go tea. Build it up. For the listener, I just gave a gift away. Yeah, how many of those empty cups are you going to throw at people?

Four more. Okay. Two during the break. You hit poor T.J. Miller. You hit him in the face with a football in Transformers. I know that was the best fucking part of that movie. Did you see Invincible?

I learned how to fucking throw a football for that movie. That's not special effects. The whole time, me. When I run, me. Sitting in a chair, me. I do fucking everything in the movie. It's true.

You do your own acting as well? Yes, I do do my own acting as well. I only watched up, I just wanted to watch TJ Miller die, and so I watched up until that part, and then I left. Are you kidding me? Yeah, I'm kidding you. Okay, good. And saw the whole movie.

And I gotta say, weirdly enough, I think that you and TJ and that your hot daughter... Are getting nominated for Oscars. No, I was just going to say, are just a million times better than Shia LaBeouf and whoever he was with in the earlier movies. And yet this one's getting the worst reviews of the series. What do you think that's about? They can't fucking handle it. They did the same thing to fucking Fight Club.

We're like Fight Club with robots. Wasn't that Real Steel? What's that? Wasn't that Real Steel? No, I don't know. It's also a movie. Real Steel was my nickname in high school. Do you think the critics are suffering from kind of like a Stockholm Syndrome with Shia LaBeouf?

Like they have Shia LaBeouf Syndrome, which is like they just can't imagine a Transformers without him. No, I just thought you were going to say they're used to it being bad, so they thought no matter what it would be. But that's what I'm saying is now they're saying this one's the worst one yet, and I think they're wrong. I think they're absolutely wrong. I don't even play a fucking cop.

On that alone, it's like, this is gonna be good. Mark's getting fucking deep yeah he's a scientist yeah you took after the happening you went from being a science teacher to an actual inventor another great fucking movie that nobody appreciates i've said it before i talked to a fucking plant you know who does that? Lonely people. And I'm not fucking lonely. That's acting. He said it here, you guys.

Mark Wahlberg is not lonely. Nope. He's surrounded by people. But I still gotta say, man, why call it Lone Survivor? Why not call it something else so we don't know that one of you is going to make it? You could call it Hard to Kill. That's a good fucking movie right there.

You know what the deal is? You call it Lone Survivor because, one, no one wants to go into a movie where they think I might die. So you tell them out the gate, don't worry. Everybody else, the dude who can't play Hulk anymore, the fucking, that like white trash kid, one of the white trash kids from fucking the Varsity Blues

show Friday Night Lights, he'll fucking die. But don't worry. Friday Night Lights was based on the movie Friday Night Lights. It didn't have anything to do with Varsity Blues. No. When Lone Survivor, when we got done making that documentary,

I was like, tell people out the gate that I'm okay. And Peter Berg fucking agreed to it. Was that also the name of the book? Yeah, it was the name of the book. Peter Berg fucking agreed to it. That's probably why they went with it. Or I fucking suggested it.

Do you die in fear? Or do they just arrest you? I think you die. Well, we're going to do a sequel eventually. Fear 2? Yep. Colon what? The coaster.

Fear 2, the coaster? Yeah. Because that's the best scene on Fear 1 when you try to finger bang her on a coaster. Try. Oh, I didn't see any insertion. For the listener, I held up my fist. Fist. With the finger out.

Two. For sniffing. No, yeah, no. She's way fucking nothing. You're a disgusting man. What's that? Nothing. I was just a kid. When you finger banged her on a roller coaster?

Oh, no, I wasn't. Which time? I'm just joking. She's a lovely girl. I'll probably never do that again with her. What would have happened if you and her were together and you got pulled over by the cops? What happened to her and her boyfriend?

Her husband. And you'd both been drinking. What would happen? Well, because he got fucking cuffed, right? if you and her were together and you got pulled over by the cops, like what happened to her and her boyfriend and her husband? And you'd both been drinking. What would happen? Well, because he got fucking cuffed, right? And then she went fucking nuts. She dropped the don't you know who I am. Right. Well, first of all, they would have known who I fucking was. And then if need be, I would have fucking broke out of the cuffs and just ran. Leaving her there? Running away?

She can handle her shit, dude. I think she'd tell them it was you. What's that? She'd tell them it was you. Yeah, but I'm gone, so then they're all fucking confused. I've seen the show Cops. If you have a shirt on, they don't know you're the criminal. They purely go off

two things. Did you jump out of a kitchen window? Are you wearing a shirt? So you jump out of the living room window in a nice... And a button-up. Sure. And then I'm like, what the fuck? They're like, hey, did you see a guy without a shirt on?

I'm like, Donnie, take your shirt off! And then Donnie fucking... Udayo, have you been to the cinema lately? Jump Street. Did you see anything? You saw 22 Jump Street? 22 Jump Street. Delightful.

I thought it was very funny. Heavy on the bromance. Super funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw it twice. I haven't seen Snowpiercer yet. That's the one I want to see. That's the Polar Express reboot, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. That was good. The fighting on the train one. Was that good? You liked it? It was good. Have you seen it?

You didn't see it? I haven't seen it yet, but, you know. And I liked Only Lovers Left Alive, and I'm kind of rambling because maybe there was hash in that joint that you handed me. Oh, yeah, you did tell me that hash makes you rambly.

Right, so we're just going to go. We didn't expect everything. It may get tangential, like the rains. No, that's torrential. Only Lovers Left Alive is the Jim Jarmusch vampire movie because vampire movies and Jim Jarmusch movies, neither one of those are slow enough. So let's

jam them together into one film and make the slowest vampire Jim Jarmusch movie ever made. I thought it was great. I smoked two joints and Jim Jarmusch going slow never bothered me. What's your favorite? Ghost Dog isn't the fastest movie.

Neither is Stranger Than Paradise. I think that was my point, is that those movies are slow. But enjoyably slow. Enjoyably. The pacing is good. I don't know if the conceit of vampire as heroin addict is a novel approach. No, no. Hold on a second.

Treat it with care. Is that the dude with the birds? Yeah. Hold on a second. Treat it with care. Go start. Is that the dude with the birds? Yeah. Yeah, I don't trust people with birds. You and Mike Tyson

aren't friends? What's that? You and Mike Tyson aren't friends? No, he's a great fucking dude. No offense to the guy. I just,

if you got birds, we're going to take separate cars. You won't get in the same vehicle with Mike Tyson? Do not trust a person with birds. Now, is that pigeons or parakeets?

Yes, anything. Any bird. It likes to fly and you want to cage it. That's not fucking right. Let that go. Let it go. What about reptiles? They're kind of closely related.

Nah, fucking snakes are badass. You own a fucking snake. You're a cool dude. We'll be back with more of Dom's Wild Things So Andy you saw Snowpiercer It's great Anybody seen Snowpiercer here yet? It's at the tower It's at the tower you guys

Let's go tomorrow night No no let's go Monday Let's go Monday We're making plans with the whole audience Fuck yeah. We live here. Go to see Snoop. Like, Flash Mob Snowpiercer at the Tower Theater.

What do you think? 7 or 9.45? Monday night. Whichever one's closest to 8 o'clock. Monday night. Okay. I guess 7. The 7 o'clock one is closest to 8.

Did you look it up? It also changes every day over there. Because they, you because they do special... What am I talking about? Wow, what a fascinating podcast. Doug travels the country discussing local movie start times. I'm in. Let's do it. First popcorn refill's free, not the second one.

Not the second one. I am continually dismayed by how much trailers show, but I recently saw the trailer for Birdman, the Michael Keaton comeback vehicle. And the trailer is just kind of surreal and just shows moments, but it shows you enough to get you interested. Zach Galifianakis is in it.

And then it ends. And you're kind of like, what the fuck was that about? I'm intrigued. But then the next trailer is some movie where they just show you every beat. So the last 30 seconds of a trailer, I just look down. I don't take my phone out. Don't you hate it when people talk during the trailers?

That, to me, is the best part of the experience. Can you talk between trailers, though? There's so little between. You can talk for a second when the green thing comes up for the next one. I kind of just heckle, author! Author! But yeah, if people just shouted something out at the end of each one, I think that'd be

a good trend. Huzzah! Yeah, yeah. It rarely gets a laugh, but I've been to the movies with Sarah Silverman, and she will put both of her palms on her face and make a really loud fart sound. Like at the end of the most serious trailer.

It doesn't make the audience laugh, but boy is that fun that that... The whole family dies of brain cancer. That that happened. Yeah. All right. Monday. On Monday?

On Monday? Because it's a sneaky ass theater, man. Monday. Tower Theater is sneaky.'s a sneaky-ass theater, man. Monday. Tower Theater is sneaky. Pre-funk at 645 in the parking lot. Did somebody put movie phone on speaker? 7.05. Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you would like to see? I can't believe people use that shit anymore

because you could just go to a website. What's that? It's no longer there. There's no movie phone? No, but you know what it is? Transformers 4 at 1010. Go see it again, guys. I heard China loves that movie.

Isn't that true? What's that? China loves the new Transformers movie. Yeah, they're fucking no good shit. Yeah, somebody called... Somebody on the last Douglas movies called China as a shithead for their love

of Transformers. Yeah, that dude can't talk. You know why? I taped his mouth and I was like, you fucking leave that there for two weeks. I'm sure he fucking left it on. I told him. How's he gonna eat? How's he gonna eat? It's not my problem.

Alright, if he's listening, you can make a fucking straw hole. Wait, is it for drinking or fucking? Yes. Yes. Well, if it's a straw hole, I hope it's not for fucking. Yeah, you got your giant jug in there.

Punchline. Well, thank you. Punchline, may I please... Dear Punchline, may I please have another vodka and soda pop? Soda? Not soda pop. Some places you go when you ask for a vodka and soda, they go, what do you want?

Like Coke? Dr. Pepper? Like they start listing off soda pops. You ever ask for a Fresca? Squirt, perhaps? Oh, squirt. I haven't, but I love them. The drink of grandmas.

Grandmas like squirt? Grandmas fucking love squirt. Anybody? Grandmas fucking love squirt. They love squirt and cream soda. I think they love squirt because that sour taste gives them something to do. Mm-hmm.

Like, that's an activity for a really old person, dealing with the taste. That's also true for sleeping with an old person. So I've heard. Have you been to the movies Mark? Yes I have Well I know you saw Transformers Let's move on Let's move on from that Yeah no we will

Okay I saw Life Itself The Ebert documentary Roger Ebert yes It is so fucking good Yeah it's really amazing movie And one time I saw him in person And he was like

You know what Don't fucking read shit I love your movies Oh that's pretty clever of him To tell you It's a really amazing movie. And one time I saw him in person, and he was like, you know what? Don't fucking read shit. I love your movies. Oh, that's pretty clever of him to tell you don't read his shit. He's like, don't read anything. I love your fucking movies. Yeah, yeah. Don't read what I have to say about your movies.

It's a talk. It's a story of love, love of what you do, love of the people in your life. Like, just fucking going for what you want to do in your life. And if that's fucking, you know, 180 bench, do it. What was it you said about if you were in one of those planes at 9-11, what would have happened?

Okay, I'll do respect to those people. I'm just saying if I had been there, it possibly, certainly, would have gone fucking different. And if I had been, if I had fucking, I said this too, I'll say it again.

If I had been fucking in New York, I would have held those fucking buildings up. I don't know if it would have worked, but I would have fucking tried. But in seriousness, RIP to all those people. I will not forget you. Let's make a joke.

Okay, yeah. I keep trying to jump in, but then you say more words. I saw the trailer for the new Bill Murray movie. It looks like they should have called it Rushmore 2 because it's about him and a young lad

who build a relationship, a friendship. What's it called? It looks friendship. What's it called? Looks terrific. What's it called? St. Vincent. St. Vincent, which is also the name of that girl singer, right? That's kind of weird.

Bad timing. Maybe some asshole will buy a ticket. I'd like to see that St. Vincent lady. She's got funny hair and sings interestingly. Do you guys know who St. Vincent is? I love her Yeah, her SNL performance was outstanding Did you guys see that? You liked it?

You guys didn't like it? Best since Lana Del Rey? It was one of the best I've ever seen No, she's really She's the real deal You know where she's great She sang a Nirvana song On the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies

They had her, they had Joan Jett, they had Kim Gordon, and they had Lorde all sing Nirvana songs with Dave Grohl and Chris Novoselic playing with them and Pat Smear and it was fucking sweet. Yeah, if you haven't seen it, I'm sure it's on HBO

Go or whatever. I don't get any money from them so I'm going to shut up about it. But I saw... Just advise people to steal passwords from their friends. They give them away? Give them away, give them away now? What is this

blood sugar sex magic you speak of? I saw Begin Again. Begin Again. I saw Begin Again, Begin Again. Begin Again? I saw Begin Again, and that movie features the Gramercy Theater. There's a concert scene.

Adam Levine has a concert scene in Gramercy Theater in New York City where Doug Loves Movies returns on Monday, October 6th. Was it good? The Gramercy Theater was great. They mention it. He's in it He performs You can see

That's fucking awesome Like when he's on stage They do a shot over his shoulder I'm like that's what it looks like When I do Douglas movies But none of his fans Brought name tags And they're all

Paid extras The trailer looked like Once 2 Like what 2? The movie Once It looked like just a sequel To that Once

Oh Once Yeah Once Once Once Once Same director Once Once Once Once Once Once Once Once Once Once. Once. Once. Once. Once. Once. Same director. Once?

Once is a Spanish. Once. What? It's a Spanish movie. Once. It means 11. Not with him. No?

No? It's a little more fast-paced than Once, a little livelier, but it does take a lot of time to like, you know, they play like full songs at several points during the film. It's like a musical? It's about musicians, about songwriting and singing. But you gotta sit there and throw a whole song? Sometimes, yes.

Nope. What you could do is you could jump up and run into the theater next door and watch a dinosaur robot. Yes, you fucking can, guys. Leave a donation. Yeah, any part of Transformers,

you walk in for a few minutes, you're gonna see some good action, probably. And then come back over and get back into Begin Again. Begin Again. This song they play has always good vibrations though. The whole movie. You guys should go see that fucking movie.

This isn't that thing you do. It's not one song repeated through the whole movie. But there's one song where you hear it a couple times from different perspectives. It's really good. I liked it a lot. You could find a theater with a gym, and then when the song comes on,

you can just run across and do a set. If you could get some reps in while you're fucking watching Transformers. In my travels, I've come across, there's occasionally a gym that'll have the theater room, and it'll be a huge screen. They'll just run a movie on a loop.

They'll change the movie once a week or something. But you could come in and get on a bike or whatever and Run, Forrest! watch a whole movie while you work out. I could work out for two hours if I'm watching a whole movie. What? He did a fucking line with Mark and I answered it. Forrest Gump.

I'm gonna fucking sell that. That idea? Yep. Okay. Mark Wahlberg's movie gyms? Gym movies, I think. Like Gymkata. That sounds like all the movies are going to take place in a gym. Or have Jim Gaffigan in them.

Pain and Gain is on... How many movies is Jim Gaffigan in? Let's find out. Away we go. Ugh. All right, enough of that game. Jim's a friend of the show. Let's move on to the part where I say,

let the games begin. Why didn't you play Bane in the Batman movie, Mark? What's that? Why didn't you play Bane in that Batman movie? Is it because you're hard of hearing? No, not even. If you'll notice throughout my entire career, I've never done a movie where half my face is covered.

How are you going to fucking sell tickets if you can't look at me? Think about it. There's Batman. People like Batman a lot. You can see the good half of his face. Oh, you're saying Bane covered up the wrong part? Yeah, look. Look how fucking good I look.

My fucking eyes are covered up and shit. Now look. I was talking the whole fucking time, but my mouth was covered. Does anybody have a pen? I need to borrow a pen. Oh, we got one right here. Perfect, thank you.

I don't know what he was just talking about. Whoa, is this from space or something? That was a nice pen. Are you sure? All right. You have to give it back, Doug. It's not a souvenir. I know, but the reason I asked for it

is because we're going to play a game called hide a pen in your ass. Your ass. The your isn't anyone specific. He said he played it earlier. Oh! Huh? Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm. Smells like Mark Wahlberg's fingers. You know what, then? You win. That's what winning smells like, Doug. This is the part where everybody brings their name tags back out again, and everybody on stage picks who they want to play for.

Wow. And we might have an ad from a sponsor in this episode. I'm not sure. If there's not an ad, I'll just say a brief thing about something. Can I take a picture of that one? I'm sorry. That's just crazy. Please, by all means, do all that kind of stuff.

After I say this, is your phone in the room? Yes. You can go grab it. While they pick their name tags, we'll be right back. We're back! Who are you playing for, Ngaio? I'm playing for Sean of the Dead, who made a cricket bat, and I was thinking about

Spinal Tap earlier today, and I was like, there's no sex and drugs and rock and roll for Ian. So, uh... Yeah, he has a cricket bat in that movie. It's probably two movies have a cricket bat where a cricket isn't being played and they are Spinal Tap and Shaun of the Dead. Sure. And if you read

Douglas Adams, The Evil Planet of Cricket is how we got the sport. But they were hell-bent on universal destruction. So it's really not a fun game at all. It's really a testament to war and killing. That's not in the movie? It's in the fourth book of the sequel or something.

Do you think they'll ever make another movie? What went wrong with the movie? As a person who loves the books, how did they screw up? I thought the movie was okay. I just think some things are better as books because you can think it through. Alright. You can't expect the universes to be the same. My daughter and I used to have this argument about Harry Potter because she's a big nerd as books because you can think it through. All right. Some things are better than movies.

You can't expect the universes to be the same. My daughter and I used to have this argument about Harry Potter because she's a big nerd about it. And I was like, they're different universes. You can't expect them to be the same thing. You just have to accept it for what it is. It was a life lesson. It was a life lesson in the life of a young nerd.

You can't... The movie universe is different from the book universe, which is different from the comic book universe. That's just how there's multiple universes contained. I'm going to take your word for it. I feel like you don't even read comic books. What's that? Nothing.

Okay. Who's the shithead, Doug? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Let's take a look at the shithead, Doug? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Take a look at the shithead. Let's have a preview of the shithead. Yours looks very nice, very artistic.

This one's great. Andy, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Steph, who has a beautiful Steph fighter with Doug in a beret. Would that be M. Bison? Which character is the Ah, yes, of course. Excuse me, yes?

Oh, you said Guile. I thought you said Ungayo. Guile, yeah. In the 90s, people were always confused. What's your name? Ungayo. Guile? Really? Did you say Guile? No. Nerd. Ungayo. One rooster, not some Street Fighter guy.

I fucking love Street Fighter. Bianca, baby. Just low punch, low punch, low punch, low punch. Electricity, electricity. Low punch, low punch. I win. Go home. No jumping and gnawing the face.

Don't come up with that fucking Ryu Uppercut shit. the face. Don't come up with that fucking Ryu Uppercut shit. Who are you playing for, Mark? You know what? I'm playing from... Now, they took a poll

at GNC. This was the number one snubbed movie by the Oscars in 2013, according to GNC readers. Pain and Bane, bro. Pain and fucking Bane. I wish they would put a fucking mask on The Rock.

He kept asking, can I stand here? I'm like, no, you're in the center of the shot. Get behind me. How come you're not Hercules and he is? Because I turned it down. It's that simple, yeah. It is. Okay.

All right, guys. I think we're running late. We'll do all right. I'll try to keep it moving From this point forward In honor of being in Our state capital of California City of trees fool Yeah

And in a comedy club That has one of the better comedy club backgrounds It's actually quite beautiful And the lights really do a nice job Of representing the stars And everyone in here kind of forgets that it's only, you know, 5 p.m. So it's a nice place to do an indoor show

on a hot day and the air conditioning's working nicely so thank you for that. And what we're going to do, in honor of all of that, I don't know where that speech came from. Way to speed it up, Doug. Yeah, in honor of...

Let me tell you another story about Sacramento. One time, I saw a Black Panther. Was this in the 60s? Just roaming the streets. No, since we're in front of the political backdrop, I decided that we should, in honor of the governator, who did make marijuana just a misdemeanor on his way out. Yeah, just a ticket.

So he did that for us. Yeah, state's broke, but we've got that. And, but let's do one of my favorite movies by Mr. Schwarzenegger, Kindergarten Cop. Yeah, build a title, Kindergarten Cop. I don't care who goes first. In fact, whoever can think of one first. Kindergarten Cop and a half.

Okay. Kindergarten, oh, I'm sorry. Kindergarten Cop and a half. Now we'll go to you, Andy, since you seem ready. Kindergarten cop and a half. Now we'll go to you, Andy, since you seem ready. Kindergarten cop and a half baked. Yeah. Of course. Holy shit.

I was thinking it would be funny to say Kindergarten coperation dumbo drop. But we went with Kindergarten cop and a half baked. So, Mark, you need something that begins with baked or something that ends with kindergarten.

Are you guys fucking laughing? You don't think I can do that shit? Or get your dick out because you're going to fucking eat it. Or kindergarten cop half baked. Eat a fucking Or Get your dick out Cause you're gonna Fucking eat it Or Next Or Kindergarten cop

Half baked Eat a fucking dick Swayze's in that movie You don't think I know A fucking Swayze movie Get the fuck out of here What did he say Next

Hey if you heard Swayze had cancer Wouldn't you have stopped it I couldn't, dude. You tried, though? It was too late. I thought he died for reeling Ghost. I was so fucking sad.

I would have. I would have ripped it right fucking out of him, and I would have fucking squatted it and killed it. So every time you saw him after Ghost came out, you kind of thought you were actually talking to a ghost Fucking hologram I love that too R.I.P. you fucking horse whisperer

Okay You've got a movie that ends in next Or And you can't say just next Because that's not a real movie It's just a trailer that's not a real movie, it's just a trailer that Edgar Wright made or,

or begins with baked. Fuck. Yeah, this might be the end of the road. Next, something next. There's Next Stop

Greenwich Village. Can you do that? There's aforementioned next. No, no, I'm just, I'm just helping you by saying other movies that have next in the title. There is the movie that I will reveal to you.

Next. Bay. Next. Oh, I did it. I did it. I've got it. Do you have it, Ngayo? We got next? No, I don't have it. I did it. I've got it. Do you have it, Ngayo? We got next?

No, I don't have it. I'm out. Fuck. Andy? Is it to you or to me? It's to you. I'm not playing, but I'm going to trump everybody with the perfect answer. We got to end it with next or start it with bait.

You think about this too, Mark, because it's coming to you. Yeah, but I win, right? Yeah, you will win, but I also want you to try. You know what I mean? Like you've never been ahead in a game and still got more points just for the hell of it? Oh, yeah, let's do it. I'll give it a shot. Nothing, Andy?

Andy's got nothing. Mark? I'm going to give it a shot, okay? Okay. Leather next of kin? That's what I was going to say, you motherfucker! Leather next of kin! Leather next of kin!

Yeah, leather next of kin. Oh, shit. Thanks. Well played, sir. Nicely done. I didn't come here to fuck around. I came here to win. What's your name, bro? What is it? their card cop half big well played sir nicely done thank you I didn't come here to fuck around

I came here to win what's your name bro what is it David alright David you're gonna win by association doesn't he deserve

one of your empty cups for that I don't have yeah I do you want one he doesn't even want one I'm gonna ask you I'm gonna ask you

one more time and this is me looking at you you not looking at you you got some good fucking muscle mass dude I'm going to ask you one more time, and this is me looking at you, you not looking at you. You got some good fucking muscle mass, dude. All right, you set him up? Is that your girl?

Well done. You may not need that. How you doing? I'm just saying, bro. Make a memory. Take it easy. All right. Mark, since you killed that game, you get to go first in the next game.

Let's do it. It's a little something we call Last Man Stanton. But to determine who in the audience Last Man Stanton. But to determine who in the audience gets to pick an actor, actress, or director with a large a lot of movies. Canon. Sure.

Big Canon. Somebody with a lot of credits. I mean, if it's somebody with not too many, that's a challenge too, but it goes by a lot quicker and then everybody think of one okay you got one

that guy's got one everybody's got one now Mark let's do a line let's do a line with Mark the first person in the audience that gets this title of this movie correct that he's going to say a quote from gets to determine who we play in Last Man Stanton. Ready?

Yeah, I'm ready. I'm just fucking saving this. Oh, this is a great one? Shows. Here we go. Stupid. No good. Goddamn freeloading.

It is fucking Breakfast Club. That guy right there? You forgot lazy, irresponsible. Who said it? Son of a bitch. You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful. Shut up, bitch. Go fix my jerky pot pie.

What about you, dad? Fuck you. No, dad, what about you? Fuck you. No, dad, what about you? Fuck you. Pow. Wow, it's doing the whole movie with Mark.

Is that true? I don't know. That movie had a lot of influence on you, apparently. Oh my god, yeah. But don't you forget about him. He gets to... Hey, hey, hey. He gets to...

You know what? You're right. Give him a cup. Give him a fucking cup. Carry that around all night. What are you doing after the show today? You gonna go see Snowpiercer? Oh, you know this guy? He was at the show

Doug, you were high as hell He was at the dab show The 710 show We were all looking at the wrong person We were all too high to take a picture Disqualified New guy I'm just joking, Fred

You fucking killed it Fred, you get to decide Who we're gonna play In Last Man Standing And we'll start with you Mark And then we'll go to Andy Ungayo

And then I'll play For fun Just for laughs It's gotta be Patrick Swayze Swayze Holy shit I don't know If we've ever done Swayze

Dude I would fucking hang out With you I'm excited about I'm excited about Swayze. I'm not going to lie. Well, then you got to fucking go with the best fucking classic. All the girls will know what I'm fucking talking about when I say Black Dog.

All the girls love Black Dog. That was the original title. And they lowered it. Say hey, Swayze said the way you move. Andy. I'm going to go with Pain Don't Hurt in Roadhouse.

Alright be careful with that kind of thing because I would have disqualified you because Pain Don't Hurt isn't the title of a movie. That's right. Don't ramp up to it.

Just say the god damn title. Roadhouse. No one ever wins a fight. What are you doing over here? What's going on? Ramp up to it. Just say the goddamn title. Hey, run us. Hey. No one ever wins a fight. How about baby? What are you doing over here? What are you doing? What's going on? I think, I'm pretty sure he just said, how about baby? He did.

In a marvelous speaking voice, am I right? So, yeah. So, keep an eye on him, Mark. I will, dude. All you have to do, if you want to say anything, just ask yourself one question. Did they give me a microphone? That's it. Although, I will fucking hang out with you after the show.

You'll win. I'd ask myself, what would Mark Wahlberg do? I don't know, probably like 22 reps. 220 a piece, but that's just Tuesday morning. Who's fucking counting? All right, so Andy said Roadhouse, which I'll be interrupting at the Traverse City Film Festival in late July with Michael.

I don't know if Michael Moore is going to join in, but it's his festival. It's his film festival. Mgaio. What did you say, Andy? Roadhouse. Oh, Point Break. if Michael Moore is going to join in but it's his festival. It's his film festival. Ungayo. What did you say, Andy? I have Roadhouse. Oh. Point Break.

Great. Fucking classic. Where am I going to go, man? I might as well just go ahead and take the aforementioned ghost. Very nice. Mark.

The Outsiders. That's it? Was that his first movie, maybe? I think so. Andy? I will take Donnie Darko. Where's the guy who said he was going to make a Donnie Darko name tag? Yeah, there you go.

See, he might have picked it. He was like, you don't like Donnie Darko. And I'm like, yeah, but I don't pick the name tags. You might have liked that, right? Sure. Yeah. Dirty Dancing. Yeah. Great movie about an abortion.

It's not what it's about. Let's dance on a log and have an abortion. It's not what it's about. Let's dance on a log and have an abortion. It's about... It's actually about an abortion in the Catskills. Oh. It's terribly difficult to get. You gotta bring in a guy.

People get hurt. Or did she travel? Did she go somewhere or did she bring in a guy? They traveled to get a guy, but it was terrible. It was botched. Oh, he was bad at it. Oh, botched. Steven Botched Co.

The Cop Rock fan, Mark? What's that? The Cop Rock fan? You know what? I just checked out for a second. I don't even know what happened right there. How long are we going to go without mentioning the other Swayze movie we were already talking about, Next of Kin? Yeah.

Well, we weren't going to go after you. We weren't going to go very long. It's back to me? Yeah. I don't know if I can think of one, guys. Really? Come on, man. It's Patrick Swayze.

I know, but after Black Dog, it's all blurry. Here we go. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Did I say it wrong? No, I think you said it right. Oh, wait, it's the other one. It's the other one. Oh!

It's the other one? That's not going to offend anybody. Oh, too long food, thanks for everything. It's fucking too long Fu, thanks for everything. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's not say it because somebody else can say it if they know the correct title. Yeah, because it's...

Stop saying it. It's still in play. He fucked up. He said the wrong name. Put your phone away. Yeah, no phone research during the show. Unless... I mean, we might ask for it. Andy?

I'm going to go to Wong Fu. Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. Correct. Of course, some of us call it T-W-F-T-F-E-J-E. Welcome to T-W-F-T-F-E-J-E Airlines. It's my first day, so it's hard to say. N'Gaya, what do you got?

Fuck. He... That's how I felt, bro. Right? Let me help you out. He's not in Cocktail. Thanks. No, wait.

Is he? He is not in Cocktail. Because it sprang into my mind, too. He would have been good as the Brian Brown character he would have been good in cocktail that's right he was

but oh he was in the movie where he plays the fucking doctor oh he's a doctor in something Dr. Love Dr. T

in the movie where he fucking it's not passage to India I don't know Dr. Ghostenstein I'm out Dr. Ghostenstein Ungayo is out where he fucking... It's not Passage to India. I don't know. Dr. Ghostenstein. I'm out.

Dr. Ghostenstein. Ungayo is out. I am going to go with... Keep it down, you guys. I'm going to go with... It's fucking hard. I thought he made a lot more movies than this. Stop it! Also, Dirty Dancing 2?

Havana Nights? He wasn't in that. He was. He was in what? In what? Dirty Dancing 2. Havana Nights? Before they go to Havana or he's just on vacation?

He's a dance teacher. Okay. Alright, lady. He's a bartenderender he's a dance teacher it's like a scene from Chinatown let me just finish the game before you start yelling out answers from the crowd that's all I'm saying right now and I don't have another one can I do Red Dawn is it it your turn? Yeah, it is. Then you can. And you win. Yay, Andy! Red Dawn! Wolverine!

Fucking Red Dawn! Can't believe I didn't think of Red Dawn. Alright, what else did we miss? Young Blood. It wasn't fucking Young Blood. City of Big Trouble in Little China? He's in Big Trouble in Little China? He's in Big Trouble in Little China. Kurt Russell.

That's Kurt Russell. He's also in Overboard and Captain Ron. Death Proof. Death? Death Proof is Kurt Russell. That guy's playing another game over there now. Francis the Talking Mule. He's in all of those.

Kurt Russell would be a fun one. I would kick ass at Kurt Russell. Young Tarzan. What was the one you said? Magnolia. He's not in Magnolia. You guys are great at not... Usually when the audience yells out names,

they're a little more... They know they're right. What else? Who's got the list? There's a lot of people in Magnolia. Why not yell it out? Doug, can I ask you a sidebar? That's probably about it.

He did a lot of big movies, but... 11-14. 11-14? Oh, yeah. That movie was always at Blockbuster. They would order like 60 fucking copies of 11-14. Everybody's like, what? Who died on 11-14?

Is that what it's about? Somebody's death? They want it to be Crash. It's like Crash. Crash? A bunch of shit happens on 1114. What movie was he in where he played the doctor, though? Do you know what I'm talking about?

City of Joy. Thank God. Thank you so much. City of Joy. Thank you. Yeah. She yelled it out so angrily. I knew he was in it.

Fucking City of Joy, thank you. She yelled it out so angrily. I knew he was in it. Fucking City of Joy! It's a fucking city full of joy, you morons! Get it straight! That's awesome that he's wearing a Nirvana shirt. Gabriel Iglesias? Gabriel Iglesias is the big picture of him in a Nirvana shirt. That's awesome it's probably on sale

so I don't like Nirvana I'm fluffy alright we gotta fucking move this steam train along we're doing pretty

we're doing alright on time I think we'll be okay I have to pee though oh you gotta pee? No, it's fine. Could you do a quick pee style rap for us? No. I can't think. I have to pee. Andy gets to go first.

Okay. And then who was second in that game? Who lasted longer? Ungayo? Alright, then we'll go to Ungayo, then we'll go to Mark. This is the Leonard Maltin game. Alright. And there's no reason for the audience to yell out an answer for the rest of the show.

The rest of the show. Even if the answer is, strangely, coincidentally, Dirty Dancing 2. Havana Nights. But you know what? Even though we're running a little bit long, I'm going to take a second to look up

Dirty Dancing 2. Was that before or after the Lombada movie? They were trying to capitalize on Lombada, but Lombada was sort of riding the coattails of Dirty Dancing. It was the new forbidden dance everyone was scared about. Are you talking about La Bamba? Oh, first of all, there is

no two in the title, so I have misspoken and I apologize. It's just called Dirty Dancing, colon, Havana Nights, which is like the new way... Dancing, colon. Yeah. It's the new way of kind of disguising a sequel as like, well, if we don't put a number in there,

maybe some people will think it's an original thing. I just saw one today that... Oh, Transformers Age of Extinction doesn't have a number in it. Leonard calls this movie Pleasant Enough. It'd be funny if I just started playing it like we were in the game. Oh, you're talking about that. Yeah, Swayze is seventh build.

How many names do we get? Eighth build. Eighth out of 11 names. Yeah, yeah. But I guess because he just has a small part. He says Swayze, who starred in the original Dirty Dancing, plays a dance instructor here. Wrong and wrong on the two professions

that you said that he was. Right? She did? Wrong, right. I don't know. Why would that guy know that anyway? Listen, I'm the foremost authority on Havana Nights. When I'm not sparring in the ring with Mark Wahlberg...

Let's do it. I'll go three rounds right now. I was playing a tough man character. Oh, okay. Just joking around. Yeah. Here we go. We're going to play the Leonard Maltin game.

And Andy Wood, former Tournament of Champions participant, Here we go. We're going to play the Leonard Maltin game. And Andy Wood, former Tournament of Champions participant, gets to pick the first category. And then we'll go to Ungayo. Would you like Scott Baio Wolf? Which, of course, we all know this. This movie's with Scott Baio, werewolves, or both. These are categories I'm trying to get rid of.

Winds and Scrabble. That's movies that start with the letter Q. And then finally, the Jeff Tate category. And they're always glad you came. And that's movies. It's not porn. It's movies. It's movies with actors from Cheers.

All it takes is one actor from Cheers, the TV show, and then that qualifies it for this category. Let's give Scott Beowulf a shot. Here we go, Beowulf. That's deep. That's a deep category. This movie has got werewolves or Scott Baio or both. It's from 1997.

One and a half stars from Mr. Malton. He says this movie is about a... It's a... Redacted. Well, there's a werewolf in it and soon there's

another werewolf. And you know how that goes. But he says of the movie overall that it begins well, but soon goes awry with too much comedy and romance. And too much plot. That's some confusing clues right there. And then he names eight names. How many names can you get it in?

Andy Wood? Let's start with six. I like that. Six out of eight. I like that opening bit. It puts M'Gayo in a very tough spot. I'll go with five. Not that tough.

Mark Wahlberg. So I'm doing it for 1997 There's a wolf in it It has one wolf Then another wolf And gets too funny And there's too much Too much comedy

Too much romance Too much plot This movie's too much Negative one name Oh I'm only saying that Cause I want to lose on my own fucking accord. And there's only one movie around then that I can think of. So I have a...

All right, all right. Then we go to Andy. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to say Mark Wahlberg named that movie. Yeah. I mean, you walked right into it. Andy's one of the better players.

I tried to establish that. At what game, though? Life. Not the game. No, Mark wins that. At what game, though? Life. No, Mark wins in the game of life. All right. You got how many names? You got to go negative one. You got to name the movie, correct title,

and then the top billed person. Go ahead and try. The romance is what made me think. I think the point's goingilled person. Go ahead and try. The romance is what made me think. I think the point's going to Andy. Okay, fine. Then it definitely is. I even wrote it down that way. Wow.

You're like thought police. Just a guess. I know. Future crowd. Put the pressure on. I'm going to have to go with what I thought. Okay. Save the movie first Wolf

Jack Nicholson What year was that guys? 95? I don't know it was the same year I think it was the same year that OJ ran That'd be 94 Yeah yeah because I saw that movie I think that afternoon Where were you?

At the movie those weird huts that they have back there, those movie theaters right behind this club. The boobies. Yeah, they look like big boobies or nuclear reactors, but they're half shells inside. They're like the weirdest design inside, but they're regal cinemas. And I saw Wolf in the afternoon,

and then that night, our second show, nobody came because they were all watching OG on TV. Wow. Yeah. I know, I'm old. The answer is an American werewolf in Paris. And Tom Everett Scott's the top-billed person, Fred. Nice, Fred.

So Andy's on the board with one point. And we're going to start with... N'Gayo. On this next one, right? Yeah. Because who challenged who? Andy challenged? I challenged Mark. So we're going to start with N'Gayo and then go to Andy.

And N'Gayo gets to pick a category. Which you like. Bateman begins. Formerly, Bateman Rises. But people thought that it should be Begins because it's more about his first movies than the movies where he ascended to power. So Bateman Begins. Early movies of Jason Bateman. No Justine. No Justine.

Satisfaction will not be the answer. movies of Jason Bateman. No Justine. No Justine. Satisfaction will not be the answer. And then celebrating a birthday today, a very lovely fellow and a great actor, Topher Grace, is celebrating his birthday. And there's a person in this audience named Topher. Yell out! See?

Proof that I read my Twitter. And then your final option is look at the flowers. And then, your final option is Look at the Flowers, and then, of course, nobody picks it because that is movies where children are killed.

At least one child is killed in cold blood in these movies. Look at the Flowers. Oh, and Gaio picked it. Finally. Let it never be said that we here in Sacramento don't enjoy a good dead child movie.

How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off its head. All right, continue. Does that work? Wait, so the whole joke takes place in a pool or something? Because if it's just on the ground, what does that have to do with floating? A death pool.

A death pool? You could make a lot of money if you pick the right baby in a death pool. That's some dark-ass humor right there. I had Jean Benet in mind I cleaned up what guys it's been 18 years get over it just go around to kid beauty pageants

looking for the most abusive looking parents I'll have her in my dead pool damn you never know where they're gonna snap yeah it gets dark I'm surprised I'm surprised I'm surprised

And surprised And so parched That we have any sponsors at all This is probably going to be a commercial free episode Except for the commercial we put in anyway Where I just plug some of my shit What do you want old man? This movie

Just you Wait what's happening? What do you want, old man? Don't you fucking answer out there. I know the coolest person in here already knows it. What do you want, old man? Why are you fucking answering, bro?

Are we playing lines with Mark? He just plays it randomly sometimes. Just you. Was that guy right, Gran Torino? What do you want, old man? Just you, bro. What do you want, old man? Just you, bro. What do you want, old man? Just you.

You want me to do another one? Same movie? Yeah, I guess so. Nobody knows what's supposed to be happening right now. If people in the audience think they know it, but you keep pointing at them and saying not to say anything. Listeners will love this. Put your hand in the air if you already they know it, but you keep pointing at them and saying not to say anything. Listeners will love this.

Put your hand in the air if you already know what it is. Yes. Here we go. Another one. Ready? Just put your hand up when you fucking know enough this. You can fly. You can fight.

But can you... You can fly. You can fight. But can you... You can fly. You can fight. But can you... God damn it. God damn you. What is it, Andy? It's a hook.

It is a fucking hook. It's called fucking hook. I got hooky. Don't you dare. Don't you ever invoke that movie again on my stage. Bang-a-rang. In front of the state capitol building of all places. Bang-a-rang indeed.

How dare you, Mark Wahlberg. So great they fucking did that. And you didn't say the full title. It's National Lampoon's Hook. Are you serious? A little bit. All right. A little bit, a little bit. All right. A little bit, a little bit.

All right, let's do this. Let's play the game we're playing. Sidebar games are confusing. Is that it? Are you going to do it again ever? I don't know. All right. How many lines can you guys handle?

You know, I have the... Two in each nostril. Woo! But Mark, you've heard me mention we're running a little behind a few times. Yep, you got it. That didn't help. Okay, but it was fun though. I actually don't do those drugs.

Which ones? The ones that require you to use your nostrils. Other than to exhale weed smoke. What about just rubbing it on your gums? A weed freeze? Yeah, I'll rub some keef on my gums. What the fuck are you... This movie is from 2012, Ungayo,

and it's got someone murders a child in it. This movie's recent enough that Leonard... It's just his long review of the movie. There's no stars associated with it because the app is... Now you know it. Everyone knows it's dead now. There's no reason to get into it, really.

It's kind of sad. But he says about this movie, when someone kills a child, he says, this movie preaches to the choir as much as any movie ever made. Yeah, yeah. He says also about it, what I or any critic may think scarcely matters.

Yeah. I'll give you one more clue. He also thought this movie was fresh and entertaining. He also thought this movie was fresh and entertaining. That's out of context. I'll explain later, but I love clues that are confusing. 2012 is the year, and he names three people. Fuck.

Three people. I can do it in three people He's taking all three names Taking them straight to hell Andrew Andrew Two names He wants two of the names, Mark I'm in a position here

Because I feel like Leonard You said you wanted to draw this show. Because I feel like Leonard... You said you wanted to draw this show out longer? I feel like Leonard... It's a special five-hour... Top-billed people because the apps broke. So three might be three good fucking names. And if I say name it, he could get it. One of those names might be a dead baby, though.

Like, it's not going to help. Unless I killed a... Damn. In a fucking movie, bro. Oh, sorry. You've killed a baby in a movie? Yeah, in Lone Survivor. What?

We fucking bombed that town. I'm pretty sure there was kids in there. I said, said guys get out And then boom You never know Summer's slow I know Here we go

Hannibal Lecter Just a guess Do you need it? That sounded like you either spun a wheel Or Hannibal Lecter showed up I turned that down too Do you need it Andy what? Do you need it? or Hannibal Lecter showed up. I turned that down too. Do you need it, Andy? Do you need it?

Do I need what? The fucking win, bro. Name it. Oh, so you're going to get the win if you can do this. And I hope you can because we're kind of out of time. That's right, Dave.

Your one name. Two names. Oh, he gets two? No, he gets one. No, he gets two. I said three. He said two. He gets two.

He could have had one. He gets two. Nice try, Mark. Hey. It's worth a shot. Yep. Your two names. Seriously, don't yell out.

Especially Havana Knights over there. You're going to know the answer. Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson. Shut up. Did you see his face? He don't know fucking shit right now. He's got 10 seconds, right? 2012. What's it called? Don't know fucking shit right now. He's got 10 seconds, right? 2012.

What's it called? Don't you fucking dare. 2012. I swear to God. Mark Wahlberg will kick your ass. No. On my behest, Donnie will kick your ass. Behest.

I'll give you one more clue. No, he gets no more fucking clues. One more clue, because I get to decide that. You're right, it is your fucking show. And it was a really misleading clue. He does not think it's fresh or entertaining. Oh, okay.

He just, both of those words are in there. But he does not apply those to this movie. I'm just worried it's a two-parter. Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1? Isn't it a two-parter? It's called Breaking Dawn Part 2. Mother... Who's on top and who's on bottom now, Andy Wood?

Because as far as I know, that's the only one. Of course. As far as I know, that's the only one where a four-year-old child is set on fire. It's so funny. You got to see it. All right. We got to move it along now. We're in trouble. We're running late.

We gotta finish this game. But Mark Wahlberg's on the board. Mark's got a point. I'm gonna move fucking fast. Start with Ngaio and then go to Mark. And Ngaio gets to pick between Turnover and New Leaf. I thought I just picked. Is it not Mark's turn?

I'm not trying to slow the game down. You are exactly slowing it down. Turnover and New Leaf. I thought I just picked. Isn't that Mark's turn? I'm not trying to slow the game down. You can do it. You are exactly slowing it down. Turnover and New Leaf is you didn't get to participate in the showdown, so then you get to start the next one. Okay, fair enough. Yeah, yeah. It's moving the love around. I like your law.

Turnover and New Leaf is Joaquin Phoenix movies when he was credited as Leaf Phoenix. So it's kind of like Leaf Begins or Leaf Rises. Or Joaquin Rises. The makings of Leaf. The El Duderino category, which is movies that have seven words or more in the title, if you're not into the whole brevity thing. And then another one that nobody ever picks, Yolo Virus.

And that's movies where an actor who played James Bond dies. So it's a actor who played James Bond dies. So it's a guy who played James Bond in a James Bond movie dying in another movie. Movie set in Woodland. That's Yolo County for those of you guys listening at home.

I giggle every time I drive past the sign. What was the second one? Seven Words or More. Seven Words or More. Seven Words or More. I'll do the Reno, please. Okay. Would you like a movie with Seven Words or More in the title from 1967 or 1972? 72.

It's kind of an older thing having really long titles. It doesn't happen that much anymore. Three stars from Leonard for this movie from 1972. He says that this movie is... Oh, and by the way, for those that will be asking, on the Twilight thing, he said that... Leonard said that he thought the first Twilight was fresh and entertaining.

This one, not so much. But in this, I'll give you some... He calls this movie, part of this movie, a gem. And he also says that it's loosely based, very loosely based on a book. And he lists a whopping 19 names. How many can you get it in? Zero.

Un gallo says zero names! Negative one. For this long ass... What are you going to do about that, Andy? You don't know that second fucking person. And I might not know the first fucking person. Which means we'd have a three-way tie for a show that's not running long enough.

No, it's kind of between you guys now. Yeah, a guy who doesn't really get a mix in again, unfortunately. It's all right. But there's a really shit head in an envelope on the back of this thing. His name is... Whoa, and it's three shit heads? Yeah. Greedy.

1972, you're going negative one names. I am. Yeah, he is. Mark Wahlberg named that movie. Okay. All right. I want you to say the negative one name first. Just so we'll find out if we're done.

Once you've said both, but I want to do the name first. Jack Nicholson. And what's the movie called? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Six words. Are you going cuckoo? What? Are you going cuckoo? What? Are you going cuckoo? You think it's spelled coo and then another word coo?

Yeah. Hey, look at that military. They're doing a coo. Oh, shit. So are they. It's a cuckoo. He's wicked smart, Doug He really is Andy Wood is our winner

Because the first billed person is I don't know Oh, you look like you wanted to guess I was going to guess the movie Sure It's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world No, no, no It's much earlier than 72

72 was Woody Allen's Everything you always want to know about Sex, But We're Afraid to Ask. Yes, yes. Sandy is our winner! Steph, come get your prize bag. And Steph also gets N'Gayo's going to give you, if you want, tickets to see him perform

soon. What's that about? Tomorrow night. Sunday the 13th at the Momo Lounge above Harlow's on 27th and J. Do you want to come to that? I'll put you on the guest list. All right, Steph. You're going to be on the guest list.

You guys can all come too, but, you know. Okay, so everyone else can pay to get in if they want to. You're allowing them to do that. But she gets in. She gets in with a guest and we'll be standing out front. We're the guys that will be smoking weed outside. So just hit us up for some way

to get your full name on the list. Because we don't want to say your full name on the podcast. And Mark, do you have a shithead on the back of your business? Yep. Alright, can you pass that down here? Any plugs, Mark? I do have plugs. Let's see.

See Transformers 4 again, then fucking rent it and you know what? Fuck it. Buy the bootleg too. Other than that, yeah, you can check me out doing shit on the DVK show on the Nerdist Network and if you're a girl and feel like making some memories, I'll talk to you later. Any dreamers out there Andy Wood the LA podcast

festival happening September 26th through the 28th tickets and info at lapodfest.com and I host a podcast called probably science with Matt Christian and Jesse and that festival if you like podcasts, it's like the best fucking time of the life. It's the best.

About 35 podcasts all weekend happening in one place. It's pretty cool. Very affordable price. Ungayo, you got this thing tomorrow night at the, what's it called? Momo's. Momo's. Above Harlow's on 27th and J.

Momo's above Harlow's on what and what? 27th and J. Okay. And then July 20th. J, I like it. July 20th. Right? and what? 27th and J. Okay. And then July 20th. J, I like it. July 20th. Right? I live on 26th and J.

July 25th and 27th. What's your social? I'm very social. Some would say hyper social. It hides my introvertedness. July 25th through the 27th, Last Unlimited, downtown Old Sack,

in Old Sack. Yeah, let's Old Sack it up. And follow me on Twitter, NGAIO420. In San Diego, I'm doing a Doug Loves Movies on the opening night of Comic-Con, July 23rd at the House of Blues,

DougLovesMovies.com for details on all of my stuff. And thank you, thank you everybody on stage, everyone in the audience. Sacramento Punchline. We did it again. We'll keep doing it here as long as you guys keep showing up.

One more time for Mark Wahlberg. Andy Wood. Un gallo, B-Love. And as always, Brock from Max Muscle is a shithead. That's not fucking true. That dude is a good guy

and he fucking hooked us up with some bottles. Where'd pain and bane come from? Good job. There you go. David, fucking betray me like that. You know what? You're going to have to talk to Brock.

All right, get ready with the closing theme. And this is a three-part shithead. So wait till the third part. As always, people who don't use their blinker, Justin Bieber, and my fifth grade math teacher is our shithead. That's a good call.

Now it's time for Doug to watch a movie. It's Pocky. He's a bold and viewing crowd. Which makes it Pocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.