Doug Loves Movies - Ngaio Bealum Vs. San Francisco

Episode Date: July 11, 2013

Comedian Ngaio Bealum plays The Leonard Maltin Game against audience members at the Punch Line in San Francisco on 7/10.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Loves Movies! and ten dabs day celebration at the punchline in san francisco with special guests matt champagne mo mandel chris hardwick and ingayo belem and i'll play the audio of ingayo taking on audience members in the leonard malton game in a moment tonight i'm doing douglow's movies at the varsity theater in mini app might be a few seats left tomorrow night i'll be back in los angeles doing a set on graham elwood's stand-up show at 10 p.m. at the Improv on Melrose Avenue. Sunday's Interruption of Hook, sold out. Sunday night's Super Tourney of Championships, sold out. Sweet home San Diego, I'm doing Doug Lowe's movies at the American Comedy Company on Wednesday, July 17th. Yeah, that's right. Kick off Comic-Con the way it should be kicked off, son.

I don't know why I'm threatening you. Atlanta, July 21st at 420 at the Punchline. Doug Loves Movies taping. Yeah, I'm doing them all over the place now. And Monday night, July 22nd in Los Angeles, I'm interrupting The Great Gatsby at CineFamily. Oh, and I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Ontario, California on Wednesday, July 24th.

Damn, I'm busy! Woo! Now, a very dabbed-out Doug Benson tries to walk a very dabbed-out crowd through the Lenny Malt game in San Francisco. Enjoy. All right, so here we are at the Punchline in San Francisco. Enjoy. Alright, so here we are at the

Punchline in San Francisco. Yeah. It's the last few minutes, last few precious minutes of 7-10. The 7-10 day celebration is about to come to a close.

We're going to go long though. We're going to come to a close. Oh my God, girl! We're going to go long, though. We're going to go to five. I have to go ahead to go to five after. We're getting crazy up in this. Comma bitch. What?

Crazy up in it and you're calling me a bitch? No, no, no, no. I meant that the place is a bitch that we're going to get up in. And Guy O'Bielum is here, everybody. Thank you for having me. Had an amazing set earlier this evening, just a few minutes ago. Followed by my stammering and stuff through some sort of routine about bees or something.

All the weed and coffee. Poor little people. Yeah, and... Oh, and yeah, that's your album that's available now? Weed and Sex. Yeah? Yeah. You can get it on the iTunes or whatnot.

Or the CD babies. Or from the ones I have in my pocket right now. If you were... Oh. Alright. Yeah. That's a fun game.

Do we give you a head start? How does it work? There's various ways. It's very flexible. More like guidelines. I have a bag full of goodies here that someone's going to win tonight. And I'm going to set my reporting device down here so I can throw it through the bag and tell you what's in here. Sometimes I'm surprised by what I put in the bag. Oh, this was given to me by, what city was I in last?

Wherever the hell I was. Austin, Texas. I got this shirt, and it says, it says, It's a conjurpreneur on it. What? Yeah. The cannabis industry. That's pretty cool.

So I think he was like, here, have that or give it away. I think he said that... Pretty empty. I really... I think he said it, though. These guys said this. There's some sort of recording

called The High Command, You Will Succumb. THC, The High Command. Yeah, The High Command. You Will Succumb. What is IWS? We just throw like a puzzle every week in a paper called Stoner Grams.

Why is it 710? THC. Oh, look, a copy of my brand new one. Anyway, Doug, good selections from that this evening. Wait, Doug.

Please hide them all. Oh, and my last one, Smutline. Thank you. That's what they're playing for, Igaio. But if you could, if folks brought name tags,

I know a few of you may have. It's a stand-up show, so sometimes people don't bring their name tags. But if you brought one, hold it up, and Igaia will pick who you'd like to play. She's held up her medical marijuana card. Pick somebody that you'd like to play against, Igaia. I'll take young Melissa Stein right here. That's got the...

Is it Melissa Steen? Melissa Stein. Yeah! We're the only five people who see my movie. Are you fucking kidding me? There, wolf. Where is she? There, castle.

Right here! Right here! Oh, you gotta get up here. You gotta come up on the stage. Oh, my gosh. Yes, yes, come on up. Right here! Right here! Oh, you gotta get up here. You gotta come up on the stage. Oh, my gosh. Yes, yes, come on. Oh, shit.

Thank you, doctor. You brought me. Didn't think that through. Uh-oh, good. Oh, wow. She just leapt right up there. Woo! Oh, now you're out of my court.

Be careful there. Just sit. Just pull. Oh, no. She didn't. Oh, watch out. Okay. Okay, all right.

Please don't stand near anything. Nice. If you could get on the other side of the guy here, that would make me more comfortable. Apparently I'm the bodyguard now. Ah, well, see, yeah, it's like a lot of places when you try to get in, you actually get past the velvet jacket. I've decided to think it's Axe of Frost or Frigori. I don't know what you said, but I like it. One year? It may take years.

I'm not in a hurry. What's the young lady's name on the tag again? Melissa! Melissa, okay. Her friend is Melissa Steen. Young Melissa Steen. Is that right, Frank? It's Stein. Stein. Alright, sorry I brought it up. What hum? is the... Is that Frankenstein? Stein. Yeah. All right. I'm sorry I brought it up. What time?

So we're going to play a round of the Letter Vault game. If you don't listen to the podcast, I apologize because part of the show is confusing to you.

But it's a competition between someone who says she doesn't know what she's doing so it's a good clue for N'Gayo and how you can approach the game. I like I like you to be cutthroat, N'Gayo. I want you to play to win. But you get to pick the category, Melissa. Send my... He'll give them to you. I'll just give you some options. Category options.

So this is what happens. She doesn't listen to the podcast. You made a sign for her. Your sign got chosen. She should sit down and you should get the fuck up here. Get up here. Get up here. I don't care about your sign.

Get up here. I'm going to call you Melissa, but get up here. She doesn't have no idea what's going on. And Doug's too dabbed out to explain. Yeah. Oh, I can explain it, but this is going to be so much better. Man, I was going to try...you know I'm 0 for 3 on this fucking game. She was looking to the audience.

That pulls in the pinch hitter. I'm going to go to the lefty. She was looking at the audience like it was Price is Right. How does this game work? What do I do? Strap it, bitch. It's Plinko. It's always Plinko. Because it's got a can.

That was the dabs talking, like, with the B word. I don't usually... That's the meaning. We have to apologize for Plinko and say, bitch, that's like the only thing. I'm sorry I said Plinko at your party last night.

I was dabbing. I was a dab hole. Okay, Melissa. You're such a dab hole. Melissa's what, a friend, sister? Yeah, my friend. yeah my friend college friend college friend okay

what college uh so will you guys share the microphones with my uh my podcast listeners and the people in the back

no mistake oh so no mistake yeah yeah what's your seawolf seawolf what the fuck

is a seawolf merman seawolf they used to be the cossacks way back in the day that's almost like Sea wolves! Sea wolves! Mermen, sea wolves. They used to be the Cossacks, way back in the day. But someone's like, that's racist as fuck! To a made up character! To a sea wolf. Also what German submarines were called.

Wow. See, so still. They should make... They kept racist. The grey part two should be Liam Neeson takes on Snow Wolf and the Sea Wolves. Sea Wolves.

I hate it when I have a good one like that and then I fuck up the movie. That's aggravating. Okay. Melissa. Melissa. That's what I. Okay. Melissa. That's what I'm calling you. You get to pick a category. Would you like

North Dallas 40? That's movies that have malt liquor in them. This Isn't the End? That's movies that have a scene after the credits there's still another scene or chicks with dicks

and that's Richard Gere romantic comedy series which one do you like? just say it right there in the microphone, Melissa. Since it's San Francisco, chicks would dance. Because it's San Francisco. That is racist. That's like something an oriental would sound like. something in oriental would sound. Took me a while to pick the right one.

I'm glad you took your time. Yeah. It's hard to be intentionally offensive and then also not actually offend. That was so hash zen of you. What are your intentions with this joke? We're gonna play a Chicks with Dicks kind of thing. Chicks from Dicks?

Chicks with Dicks. It's Richard Gere. Romantic comedies. Yeah. Richard Gere. Romantic comedies. Here's your clues. Three stars from Leonard Maltin on his app for this movie from 1999. He calls it slick. And he says that the gear is engaging, and he says that, yeah, he also says, I think everything else kind of gives it away. Sound it out, Doug.

I think everything else kind of gives it away. Oh, shit. So, yeah. What happens with every one of these clues? Gear, in particular, is more engaging than he's ever been. How about that? That's a pretty strong clue. And the movie's slick.

And Leonard lists nine names. So how many names do you think it would take you, Melissa, to discern the title of this motion picture? I'll go with seven. Seven's good, good. Good, good, good, good. Six. Four. Six. Four. Have at it.

Oh. Have at it is an interesting way of saying it. What else should I say? You know, name that movie. Name that movie. Have at it. Give it a go. Take a stab at it. You get less black with each one? I'm all black every time. Oh, okay. Four names you get, Melissa. And they are... What was he just in?

I just saw him. Yeah, Man of Steel. Weird part. I just saw him. Yeah, Man of Steel. Weird part. And he was in the baseball Jackie Robinson thing. And Paul Dooley.

Those are your four names for a rom-com with Richard Gere from 1999. What's it called? Go ahead, into the microphone. Just say it. Just say it. Dr. T and women. Am I close? You know what? We're we're out of time so you're yeah you're gonna win the prize bag because yeah you can't you can't go any longer

I'm afraid but what do you guys what's the answer Runaway Bride lots of people know it Runaway Bride I've actually seen that though

yeah of course you've seen it that's the Pete Holmes excuse. Familiarity breeds contempt. I just made it weird. Well, you made it a winner, because you were an engaging player and an interesting friendship you have, forcing her into a situation she had no idea what the hell was going to happen. You guys should be in a MasterCard commercial together. And here, come get your prize bag.

Awesome. Thank you. There you go. Thank you. Thank you so much. How about for your consolation prize for coming up here for a moment there, who would you like me to call a shithead? I'll call anybody you want a shithead. I'll put it on my podcast. You have no idea? Me pick somebody? You really are like, if you were an improv troupe, they would kill you.

Because everything is like, no, you. It's funny or die to a whole new level. It's like trying to convince a kitten to do something. And it just keeps going. She's still doing it, you don't have to explain it to her Thanks for playing along Bill works for not making movies anymore No I've got a good one

Don't worry about it One more time for a guy who beat him Everybody You've got your record right here everybody. You got your record right here? He's got some. Go buy his record. And, you know, as always,

the lady with the red tablecloth around her waist. Oh, God. She was adorable. a red tablecloth around her waist. The tablecloth isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's not only tablecloth, it's more like,

it's just red pants. Yeah, there's no red pants on. Everybody, settle down. You know, regardless of the pants, is this shit? Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you

because Doug loves movies.