Doug Loves Movies - Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, and Katie Aselton Guest

Episode Date: October 6, 2010

Doug welcomes his friends from the FX series "The League" Nick Kroll, Paul Scheer, and Katie Aselton to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid pop-up kernels in his teeth. They're still not warm, then he won't sleep, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! My bag of gifts just fell over. Gotta set that up right. Alright, here we go. My bag of gifts just fell over. Gotta set that up right. Alright, here we go. My name is Doug. I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles before Comedy

Death Ray on October 5th, 2010. Year of our go-go. Thanks once again to John Lithgow for being a man of his word and a goddamn delight on last week's show. That was like one of the best things that ever happened to me. But I have a correction. Dexter

and Rita watched Terms of Endearment, not Harry and the Hendersons, as I suggested. I mean, it's still weird that Dexter didn't recognize the Trinity Killer from his Academy Award nominated role in terms of endearment. But I don't even know for sure if he was nominated for that. But it seems like he probably was.

Okay, and then I just want to take a second or two to say that I always wanted to have Greg Giraldo on this show, and it just never came together and he was I knew him and he was a great guy and a funny guy and if you want some laughs and you know can afford 20 bucks

you should go to iTunes and download both of his albums one of which was named album of the year last year by Punchline Magazine and then that way you know a, you can get some laughs, but also a little change will go in the direction of the three kids that he left behind. Okay, and some quick plugs. Go to DougBensonTickets.com for tickets to tapings of my new Comedy Central TV show,

The Benson Interruption, at the Music Box Theater here in Hollywood this month and next month. And I'll be at Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon, October 14th through 16th. San Francisco Punchline, October 30th. And Sacramento Punchline, October 31. Those are pot the vote shows. And I had a great time last weekend at Missouri State and Zany's in Chicago and we taped a special or a special bonus episode of Douglas Movies at Zany's Comedy Club last night in Chicago

and it will be available now or soon depending on when you're listening to this. And it's going to be $1.99 and we asked for that because people paid to get into Zany's to see it so we figured people should also pay

to hear it on the internet and it's only $2 so and of course the podcast that we were watching and listening to watching or listening to right now is absolutely free and let's get our guests out here it's another yeah it's another good one.

It's another good one. That one guy, I don't know if it leaked who was going to be here, but one guy is excited in a very hopeful way. Hey, one guy, do you have cable television? Yeah? Do you have cable television? No? Okay.

See, that might make you less excited about these. My next guests, because this is three of the stars of the FX series, The League. Please welcome Nick Kroll, Katie Asselton, and Paul Scheer. Asselton. Hold on one second, Doug. I just came out here. Asselton. Hold on one second, Doug. I just came out here. Asselton. That's right.

People at home cannot see that Doug has a piece of paper in front of him and it literally says, hey, everybody, my name's Doug. Yeah. And I love movies. I write down everything. Even that? I write down all the talking parts. Well, because I forget to say that. I just sit down and go, what's going on? I write down all the talking parts. Well, because I forget to say that.

I just sit down and go, what's going on? You know, I just write it all out for myself. You're right, that is silly that I wrote my name is Doug on there. But I have set lists from comedy clubs where not only does it say hey everybody at the top, at the bottom it says thank you, good night.

So if you're going to come see me live, spoiler alert. What else, what else? That's when I close out my show. Thank you and good night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One more thing before I go. Thank you and good night. It does look vaguely like the ramblings

of a crazy person. It is, yeah. It is insane because I have to get the whole show. There's a couple of algebraic formulas in the middle. I don't know what those are. Yeah, it's really... Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman found that in Kevin Spacey's House in Seven.

I always compare it to one of R. Crumb's brothers. Right, so... But only Paul Scheer enjoyed that. Not Roy Cohn. You said R. Crumb, not Roy Cohn. Roy Cohn. So good. Angels in America.

Thank you. I don't know what to say. Not the real life Roy Cohn. The real life Roy Cohn, the maniac, DA, homosexual, crazy person who... Anyway, so... I guess you guys are fans of Angels in America.

They're doing that again on Broadway. They're reviving it. I guess I'm going to have to miss it again. Wait, but I didn't say when. You really think you're that booked up? Yeah. I also heard they're getting angels in the outfield on Broadway as well. I hear they're casting.

Are you interested? Tony Danza's going to be the stage manager. Is that season two of Teacher? The next season he's a stage manager? The year after that he's going to be a ballerina? Like every year? The best review I read of Tony Danza's reality show where he's a teacher is like,

this show would be so much better if Tony Danza was not in it. Terrible. That's the core of the show. Angela. Samantha. Angela. Samantha. Mona. So.

Gay kid. So. I write down the questions I'm going to ask you guys. So check this one out. So, season two, episode two. How's it going? The League. We're on episode three.

Okay. I'm only on two because I see them. I time shift them. I don't see them right when they happen. It's good. It's a live show, right? Yes, it is live. It's on Monday Night Raw.

It's the same thing. We're in a big auditorium. No, it's on Monday night raw it's the same thing we're in a big auditorium no it's been fun I don't know like you finished it's good you shot them all

how many are there in season two 13 and it's on FX on Tuesday night yeah Thursday night at 1030

after can we just quickly can we quit being blasé about it? It's like the best show ever on television. That's the thing, is that if you actually like television, it's pretty good. It's the best show

ever. I will also say I feel like knowing, maybe people in your audience, in your podcast audience, like, oh, it's a show about fantasy football. Not interested. Guess what? Not that much about fantasy football. Neither am I,

okay? I'm not interested in fantasy football either. Guess what? It's the best fucking show ever. I might watch the show because I'm in it,

but I also like it. You might watch it because you're in it? I might. I haven't seen the last episode, but I wasn't

in that one. Listen, my grandma gave the show a very positive Not only did she find it funny, but she thought my facial expressions were really good

That was what she said And your facial expressions were very good That's what you got Even when you weren't talking By the way I don't know the demo of your podcast listeners, but Paul's grandmother is an old

racist Italian woman. So if this podcast is getting 85-year-old women who don't have a computer and don't know how to work their television sets, this is... And believe that certain races are inferior to others. That's unsanitographic.

My grandma said that the Jews should have fought back in World War II. She's got a point. If they only had somebody to teach them karate, everything would have worked out differently. Jewish ninjas. She literally said, she goes, I mean, just picture it.

There's so many of them in that train car. They could have just pushed back. They would have taken them over. It's like finding Nemo with Jews. That was a thought that happened on Tuesday that was presented on a Saturday. It was like, yep, thought about this. And so she likes this show.

So you guys are going to love this show, too. I mean, you clearly are laughing. You have a lot in common. Right? I like the show. I don't like all the black people on the show. But so seriously though, all joking aside, it's the best fucking show ever. Yeah.

It's really good. I'm joking. That is a joke. It's not. But it's really good. It's in the top 15. It's in the top 15. Right?

Ever? Sure. Sure. If you watch Two and a Half Men, chances are you won't like this show. So use that as your barometer. So most people won't like it. Yes. So most of America pretty much is...

But that small percent, that 2%, which is all of us. We're all in this room right now. I like to say it's like, you know that show It's a Living? It's a lot like that show. Does it mean anything if I don't know what that show is? Yeah, I was going to say, could you pull an older reference for this young crowd? Sally Kellerman was at her best in It's a Living. It's a Living was a syndicated sitcom about a bunch of women working at an airport bar.

A bout in an airport bar. It's so different than our show. My favorite thing to think of, I worked for somebody who was doing a Flintstones computer game and they have all these,

this was a long time ago, and they had all these birds and there was a bird in a vacuum and a bird in a cage and when the vacuum cleaner came on we would shoot to the bird and the bird goes it's a living that's my role in the show pretty much really is just look at you guys and be like

we're living I don't know you guys are crazy I play as a retard and you're on the show that we beat up every week. Essentially, yes. That is exactly my character description.

It's a living. We did, with those Flintstone producers, we tried to get them to change it. They go, no, no, no. All the animals say it's a living

all the time. So there was no weirdness of the game. Every animal you clicked would just go, it's a living. It's a living. That was was no weird end of the game. Every animal you clicked would just go, it's a living. It's a living. That was that cartoon's way

of saying that they weren't slaves, that they were going to get something for the work that they put in. They're working hard for their money. The woolly mammoth used as a vacuum had to go home

and take care of his family. Doug, is it written down anywhere there to just get the conversation back on movies? Yeah. Check it out right here. where do we go from here Doug tell us Katie when and where

can people see your movie the freebie that's so funny you should ask Doug because people can actually see my movie right here in Los Angeles at the Newark it's at the Newark for a week and then it'll go somewhere else probably right we hope only if y'all go because you guys should go see the movie.

Everybody go so it'll be playing later for other people. Katie and Dax Shepard. It's really funny. It's really truthful and honest. But don't go expecting a comedy because it's not funny. But it's funny. It's kind of like the movie version of It's a Lip. Exactly.

Wait, but the League is funny, though, right? The league is funny, funny. The freebie is... Freebie is like truthful funny. It's like stick a dagger in my heart, twist it, and then giggle a little. Freebie is like a dramedy. It's very funny, but it's very truthful about human relationships. The league is just really...

The league is like Mad Men crossed with Breaking Bad. Yeah, exactly. It's a lot like that. But with the irreverent female humor of It's a Living. It's a Living. It's a Living. Where's it playing? In New York?

Is it New York? It was at the Angelica. I don't believe it's there anymore, but it is traveling throughout the country. I think we've got 10 more cities coming up. San Francisco, Seattle. Look for it, everybody. San Diego. With D, everybody, to Freebie.

With Dax Shepard. He's been on this podcast before. Has he? Did he perform well? He was on with Tom Arnold, so anyone's going to look good next to him. Yeah, yeah.

They were both good shows. It's all good shows, Doug Loves Movies. We don't have any stinkers. No. We did. We just wouldn't let people listen to it

yeah you would just you would blank it out you would just totally erase it we should start bleeping every show should have one bleep someone should make an admission oh my god

the Elizabeth Shue bleep got people so upset what did you bleep? you could tell what she was saying she regretted saying something but we bleeped it in such a way

that you could totally put together what she was talking about can you say it again? yeah yeah yeah she was saying yeah Paul you say it that way I, yeah, yeah. She was saying, yeah, Paul, you say it.

She was saying that Paul Verhoeven wanted her to show her boobs in Hollow Man and she was not down with that. What's wrong with that? Right? Yeah, it's not that crazy. Jeff Shaser wants me

to show my boobs all the time on The League. See? And I say, sure. And then FX says, no. Nobody wants to see my tits. No one wants to see that.

No. I shaved one of them and everything. I think she got nervous. I would say to Elizabeth Shue. She got nervous because Paul Verhoeven wields a huge sword in Hollywood. And he's like,

no star-shaped troopers three for you. Elizabeth Shue. I'm going to do that myself. If anyone still wants to see your tits, talk about it to the entire world. Right. Seriously. You don't want to hide that. anyone still wants to see your tits, talk about it to the entire world.

Right. Seriously, you don't want to hide that. If someone wants to see my tits, I'm going to tell everyone about it. Someone over there

said boobs. Babies. Do you prefer the two boobs to tits? Babies. Is that what you're saying? Tits sound more sexual. Are you now calling

for her to show her tits? Or are you calling to see my tits? Jesse's. Because one of them is waxed and ready to see my tips because one of them is waxed and ready to go the other one has razor marks from me just cutting myself

can we table that conversation for my other podcast I love synonyms it was supposed to be I love cinnamon but I just learned when I I just said it poorly and then I was stuck with a show called I love synonyms but I remember the first episode someone was like called it the poor man's sugar

and that's how it got started cinnamon cinnamon for cinnamon what's another word for cinnamon I don't know but let's call it a synonym if we come up with one. Poor man's sugar, cinnamon. Have you guys been to the movies lately? Yeah, I did a double feature this weekend on Sunday.

Paul sees more movies than anyone I've ever met. Did you pay for both, or did you just sneak from one to the other? No, we were driving home, my wife and I, and we stopped. He's married married ladies. Yeah, married. But I think I saw a great movie and I saw a terrible movie. Ooh, which ones? We get to decide.

Social Network, thought was great. Whoa, you didn't like it? I didn't. Stoned me outside. Wall Street 2, worst movie ever made. I would have rather have punched my dick in just for an hour instead of seeing it. Because I felt like that was always happening.

What? Ah, why? What? No. Paul, you realize you just stonewalled yourself from being in W2. Or, yeah. I got it. But I'm in banking in 30 years and I make Wall Street 3. I can maybe get a part in that.

Wall Street 2. What's your text? Doug, you just got a text. Is it a good one? It's from Graham Elwood. And he says, nothing interesting. Wall Street 2 was interesting

because it was seven movies and they didn't complete or start any of them. You just saw enough of a little bit. Oh, I would have liked to have seen that movie. That's such an accomplishment, though, because I would really say that in making a movie, the middle is the hardest part. So if they had seven middles,

that's really something special. There was a lot of middles. He took the banking crisis and made it more incomprehensible. Literally, there's a guy going, like, there was a bunch of old white guys sitting around a table. He's like, I fought my whole life

against socialism! And then Eli Wallach just sits there and makes bird noises and goes, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. I don't know what the fuck that is. Eli Wallach doesn't talk until the last five minutes of the movie. All he does is make fucking bird noises

the entire time. Has anyone ever seen Michael Douglas and Pat Riley in the same room at the same time? I'm implying they're the same person. That's a very good question. I'll tell you one bad thing about Wall Street 2 that blew my mind.

You know when they put a face in a bubble? Shia LaBeouf gets a phone call. He's in the car with his girlfriend. He gets a phone call, and then that girl's face appears in a bubble on the screen. And then it moves over and blocks his girlfriend's face. And the scene continues with this odd bubble over that other girl's face.

It's like, what? What kind of style of making movie is that? It's just an egg around Carey Mulligan's face. I think it's like Oliver Stone is... How old is Oliver Stone at this point? In his late 60s? Probably. It's like an old man

who's been given a ton of money to be like, I want to wear my pants like this. Do you know what I mean? At some point, he's just given an avid and a ton of money. He's going to have a thought bubble girl in the fucking head.

I saw Social Network too. You liked it? I liked it. Really? Yeah, I thought it was good I also saw The Joaquin Phoenix movie A few weeks ago How was that? I was so baked

I thought it was real You did that's right We saw you afterwards And you were pretty convinced It was real That's really sweet Isn't that a terrible way To promote a movie

That's a fake mockumentary And then the first day It's out Ah yeah it's fake. I mean, he blew it. There was no even conversation. Did anyone really, aside from Nick, though, think it was real? I would have liked to have gone under the

pretense that I could have made a decision for myself. You would have liked to Blair Witch it for just two weeks. What about Catfish? I haven't seen it. I heard it was great. I saw Catfish. Did you like it? I liked it. I heard it was great. I saw Catfish. Did you like it? I liked it.

I thought it was totally watchable. Real, not real. But one thing that I think is important to stress, and I don't think it gives too much away, it is not a horror movie. Well, yeah, because look, they're really selling it too much like a horror movie. Well, the poster's like,

don't tell anyone. It's like, well, you could say that for any movie after I saw it. don't tell anyone. It's like, well, you could say that for any movie after I saw it. There's no giant way. Please don't mention there's never a catfish in the entire film. If I was to spoil this movie for you, I couldn't just be like, oh yeah, it turns out

they're all fucking aliens. It's not like that. It's like, alright, well, here's the deal. This guy started by, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then they all moved to a restaurant, and it's all these women. It then they all moved to a restaurant. It's all these women. It's got a lot of little twists. There's no big twists. There's just a lot of little twists. And at the end, you might feel

like it was a waste of your time. But I liked it. I liked it a lot. I just was expecting a big twist. Because I don't tell anyone what you saw. It's like, one of the actresses went on to be in Wings. In the trailer, they show that one scene where they're at the house, and it's dark, and the camera's shaky, and it's like, you know,

and in the actual movie, nothing scary happens. Yeah, it's not a scary movie. It's not at all. Doug, did you see it at Social Network? Mm-mm. I didn't like it. Why didn't you like it? What didn't you like about it?

Well, here's the deal. Okay. The riveting dialogue? No, it wasn't riveting enough. It's Aaron Sorkin. He writes really good, fast shit, and it was a really slow, boring movie. Wow. That's all I have to say about that.

You and Rob Hubel both hate the social network. Me and Rob Hubel are fucking geniuses. Oh, Hubel didn't like it? No, Hubel's like, I don't get it, man. Can you get him on the phone? My phone's backstage. If I could. It's a young movie.

It's all technologically quick and fast. And the movie itself drags on for two hours. It's a two-hour movie written by the fastest writer on earth. But that first scene is like you're on crack. You're like, whoa, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? The first scene in the bar? It's a great scene. Did you not want to gouge

your eyes out with a spoon? Really? Oh, come on. It was like every scene. I wanted to gag me with a spoon. I literally wanted to gouge my eyes out. If I ever had to sit there and talk to either of these people in a bar. Right, but I think that's the idea. No.

They're supposed to be arseholes, aren't they? I hope I didn't just finish it. I wanted the band... I did want the band Spoon to gouge my ass out. That would be a nice option, too. Best performance by Justin...

How about Fisher Spooner? I can do that, too. I feel like they have. Best performance by Justin Timberlake since... Love Guru? Yes. That's literally

what I was going to say. Am I an idiot for liking The Town? I love that movie. I love The Town. It's very popular. Why would you think you're an idiot

for liking that? Well, I don't know. I feel like it's really commercial and people want to say they don't like it, but I really... No, I really like it.

I went in and bought a ticket by myself and the guy next to me in line goes, you're going to hate it. Oh, that guy was just a terrible attempt at flirting with you. You're going to hate it,

but you're going to love my apartment. You're going to hate it just like my mom. She's a bitch. Bad roommate. We had amazing sex afterwards. So it all worked out in the end. And I liked the movie, so it wasn't a waste of $14.

Yeah, I thought that movie was really good, and I was nervous. It was a little bit silly though that he courted the girl that's really in love with the girl that can finger you. You can't control when love hits, Doug. It's so true. That is a thing. I think if we learned anything

from the love guru, that's true. What if the guy in line was Matt Damon? You're going to hate the town. I like the fact. Fucking Affleck. You got a grudge? You got a great career going.

You're going to hate the town, but you're going to love Hereafter. You're going to hate the town mostly because the trailer for Hereafter is the worst. Jesus, Clint Eastwood's like 81 and he made Hereafter. It looks insane. You look at the billboard for Hereafter, the worst. Jesus, Clint Eastwood's like 81 and he made Hereafter. It looks insane.

You look at the billboard for Hereafter, you're like, is it fucking 97? It just looks like a 90s movie. I can't explain it. Well, it's very, what do you call it? It's like Babel. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's like a bunch of different stories that kind of come together somehow. Or it's also like babies.

Or Beethoven's third. Which is a bunch of Beethoven babies. Is that what happened in that one? Yeah. It was Beethoven's babies? Yeah, in the Middle East. Yeah, I look at that. Beethoven goes to the Middle East

with Charles Grodin who becomes Osama Bin Laden. Go Beethoven! Go attack America! Finding babies in the... Here's what I liked about... So hungry right now. Here's what I liked about the town.

Jeremy Renner and Ben Affleck. Amazing. Ben Affleck. They both do things to screw up the other guy's life a little bit instead of every one of those movies there's the hero and then his buddy

that always drags him down with his fucking bullshit and they both fuck each other over in interesting ways but Jeremy Renner isn't he incredible I think that is

literally like he is and I thought his accent was going to be really bad in the trailer and it's like awesome in the movie he was amazing

look if you like The Departed and you like Point Break, go see The Town, the best park in color. It's a lot like that. Jeremy Renner really is worth seeing in the movie. That should be the poster, not some fucking weird old nuns running around. They're all like,

they'll look like really shocked about every time they're shooting at someone, they're like, oh, I can't believe I'm doing this. Oh my, I'm doing this. Oh my, I'm done. They made a pact with God and then they've clearly gone against it. It's a living. And there were some good action scenes too.

Yeah, yeah, good action. And it's nice to know that the Boston Police Department doesn't have helicopters. Yeah. They don't need to call it the helicopters. No, they didn't. They had it under control.

It went careening around the entire fucking city. On the tiniest streets ever invited. Hundreds of people. I saw Toy Story 3 on the plane today. Until I fell asleep. Well, that's the best way to see a Pixar movie on a three-inch screen. I need to be dazzled by

the same characters that I've seen in two other movies just running around doing essentially the same shit. She fell asleep in the movie theater as well. Dude, the movie is like, it's so much time of Woody going, you guys, we gotta go with andy it's like somebody should just kill woody didn't you think that was gonna happen kill each other he almost

went into the fiery depth that was awesome i thought the movie was gonna end i looked over whoever i was going with i think it might have been megan fox i said megan i said there i I go Megan can you Stark in there It's hard to know You can't remember Who you walked in with Yeah I mean

June, Megan I remember going like That would be amazing If that's the other movie And they all just burned I would have loved that ending I got it Then some dumbass kid

Finds him Oh Toy Story 4 Here we go again Here we go I'll watch the whole thing someday. I'll watch it all. I did like the first two movies, but I just felt

like it was very repetitive. They were like, oh, he doesn't want to play with us anymore. Didn't he not want to play with them anymore in the last movie? No one ever wants to play with our toys. That's a constant crisis. I also don't understand why Andy doesn't have more commercial toys. Andy's very stuck in the past

with these generic toys. The most commercial toy he has is a Mr. Potato Head. Where's the Avatar figures, Andy? Well, they're still playing on the computer instead of playing with the toys. They're just old toys. What if he was playing on the computer? He's serving hardcore porn.

Google Sasha Gray. But that is funny to think of, like, an 18-year-old kid still playing with toys and not fucking beating his dick up. I one night got drunk with Todd Hanson, the editor,

the former editor of The Onion, and he goes, and this is when Toy Story 1 had only come out, he goes, let me tell you this. Toy Story 2, PG-13. And he went on to talk about how that would go down. He goes, Toy Story 3, R. Toy Story 4,

X. And each one, it wasn't X for sex. It was just more and more violence to these toys. How they were living in a landfill that was taken over by nuclear waste and they were just burned like they were all fucked up. That's WALL-E. It was.

And now we've got a huge litigation. I was in Bloomington, Indiana a couple weeks ago and some guy in the audience just yelled out at one point during the show, he just yelled out the word clue. And I was like, what? And he was like, you said you didn't like the movie Clue on an episode of your podcast.

And I was like, well, so what's it to you? I didn't like the movie Clue. It was Tim Curry. And he goes... He's gone back to Indiana University. Clue! I would have done the accent if it was him. So I go, what's the big deal?

And he goes, I love Clue. I think it's a really good movie. And I go, that's great. I'll tell you what, I'll watch Clue again, and then I'll talk about it on the podcast. All right. Will that make you happy? And he's like, sure.

Is this what you're doing to us right now? Next night after the show, same kid, there again, hands me a copy of Clue. He went out and bought fucking Clue and then gave it to me. You're the proud owner now. I have a copy. I still haven't watched it yet. You know what? I could have watched it on the plane today, but I was like, I'd rather sleep through Toy Story 3.

Watch Clue with fresh eyes. I will tell you that the coolest part about seeing Clue in the theater for me as a kid. I love that t-shirt, by the way. Which one? Watch Clue with fresh eyes. I love, when you saw Clue,

well, people don't realize this, Doug. You just walk by and be like, what the fuck? All right. What you don't realize this, Doug. Just walk by and be like, what the fuck? All right. What you don't realize is when you watch Clue, there'll be four or three or four endings. There's three endings.

Right. When I went to go see it in the theater, they only played one, I guess with the hopes that you would go back. That's the idea. Yeah, yeah. That was the campaign. That's a terrible idea

for only the last minute. Two or three minute ending, yeah. Terrible idea. And it was very complicated. It was just like, oh, this happened. That's so funny. Mark had that idea for a movie minute ending. Terrible idea. And it was very complicated. It was just like, oh, this happened. Mark had that idea for a movie just recently.

Really? Yes. And I was like, I don't know if people will do that. You'd have to change big parts of the movie to make it go back. You wouldn't want to just

I feel like there's a very small group of people who would do that and then everyone else would be like, duh. Yeah, it's just Katie just gave the middle finger.

I flipped everyone off here and everyone who's listening and flipping you off too. It's definitely one of those... And everyone who's listening, I'm flipping you off, too. It would have a... It would have a niche audience, for sure, if you did something like that. I did see a movie in Santa Barbara called Blind Date

that had 12 different possibilities. The movie stops 12 times and the audience votes. Bruce Willis and Kim Basinger? No. I wish. Well, yeah. If we could have changed

the course of that movie, that would have been great. But you could change the movie as your wife. It was like a choose-your-own-adventure movie. Oh, could you at one point go make it better now? Yeah. You knew it was going to be terrible. I do that by just walking out and going to see another movie.

Yeah. I choose my own adventure every day. Multiplexes were invented for that. So as a pledge to this young man in Bloomington, Indiana, I am going to, between now and next week's podcast, I'm going to watch Clue, and then I will reassess, and I will

give a report. So anybody else listening or watching right now, you could also watch Clue, and it'll be fun to be part of all of us watching the same shitty movie. Do you think, is it possible with a week's notice to get Martin Mull, star of Clue,

Tim Curry, star of Clue, and someone else who's a star of Clue? Madeline Kahn passed away. Eileen Brennan was in it. And Michael McKean. Christopher Lloyd. Fake Susan Sarandon's in that.

What's her name? I didn't think of her name. Her name is fake Susan Sarandon's in that. Yeah, right. What's her name? I didn't think of her name. Her name is fake Susan Sarandon. Oh, Susan Sarandon's in Wall Street 2. Oh boy. Oh boy. Still insisting on showing them? No, she did not show.

She did not show. I think Susan Sarandon very talented, very, very good actress. But in this, it was not so hot. She's like, I'm a Long Island real estate agent. Oh, I'm going bankrupt. This economy is nuts. Smoking this cigarette all the time. I'm going crazy here.

So for those of you in podcast land right now, Paul was holding his fingers near his mouth like a possible cigar or perhaps sucking a dick that looks like a chopstick. Which is what Andy's dick likes after just fucking pounding it in Toy Story 3. If you're going to sympathize with the people that are in the

financial crisis who cares about the real estate agent like oh the real estate agents are having such a hard time flipping houses

you know what it's hard for everyone yeah I would have liked to seen Jeff Lewis do that part from flipping out yeah

that would have been good any AMC any watchers no I think the show's called I Love Movies, not I Love Gay TV Show. It's almost like you lose interest in your joke as you're saying it. I know. It is like a momentum thing in my head where it's like,

maybe this one is, oh, fuck, I'm just going to watch TV. Look at Clue with fresh eyes. I'll fucking buy the t-shirt, make it, and I'll buy it. Let's play the Leonard Maltin game. Yay! Let's do it. Hopefully Katie won't be too confused by this. I'm a little confused already, but here we go.

See, that's part of the fun. You'll get it. I'm going to kick your asses. A lot of my guests on the show, they're very busy. They're directing and starring in and writing movies, and so they don't necessarily listen to an episode of the podcast. They don't have time to play games.

Or listen to my show. Or listen to podcasts. We'll walk you through it. You'll be fine. Wow, people get really motivated for this game. This guy's got like I already know who I want.

This guy's got inside jokes about sheer sketches. That's who I'm picking him, man. That's my favorite. You brought in a 40 that you can't open? Late. Oh, that's tragic.

Choose your iPhone. Isn't there an ad for that don't be like a little break in between my show and Death Ray where you can figure out

how to open your bottle a 40 ounce yeah yeah but we need to have you guys pick contestants now from the audience Paul

I'm gonna pick Sean who's holding up a hot air balloon cop sign with a badge that says H-A's holding up a hot air balloon cop sign with a badge that says HABC, hot air balloon cops. Can I see the other attempts at it? There's some other attempts on the other side.

Maybe there's a Nick Crowe. Is that Bobby Bottle? No, he's got Sean on the other side. He's got three name tags. Sean has like a loop. Call me Sean, Sean, Sean. Sean, Sean, Sean. I'm going to take

Sean Sean Sean who also has oh what else do you have uh oh I was hoping Sarah oh you were hoping Sarah

so I'm going to be a guest here's the deal I'll just sit backwards and my yeah there you go that kind of looks like her it's totally it's totally

too late Sean's mine Sean Sean Sean's mine alright alright Katie so who would you like to play for um

who would like me to play for them? Can you pick somebody with a name tag, please? Turn on the house lights. Let's see the name tags. I know. I'm looking. You can see these over here. These guys are pretty good over here. I want Joshua. Yeah, with the very last minute name tag.

You really did put a lot of effort. A lot of people just scribble it onto a scrap of paper. Way to reward the people for doing that thing. That's right. Alright, so you're Joshua? Alright, Joshua. And Nick, who are you going to play for? Oh, look at Ruzi.

That is a big ass sign. That was like Banksy designed that sign. We played for him before. He's won prizes before though, so he shouldn't be eligible. He shouldn't be eligible. But that is an awesome sign. Ruzi is as if like fucking my ancestors in the Middle East

made a left instead of a right like ended up Nick Crow will be here all week on Broadway yeah I will you don't have a name tag are you writing it? yeah it's Alex I don't have a name tag. Are you writing it? Yeah. It's Alex. I don't buy that.

That was a little aggro. That was a little aggro throwback. I can't give it to you. I want to give it to you, Bob, but I can't. Guys, all I'm saying is... What might it be, Kathy? Roster baiting. Okay.

This episode might be the least about movies in the history of my show. And I've done episodes with people who are high who never go to movies. All right. I'll give it to Alex because he said a line that I said on TV. He didn't even say a line. He's sitting right next to Joshua. You guys are great at picking contestants. All right.

Here we go. Oh, sorry. Let's see how you are at playing the game. Here we go. You ruined it. What's your name, Alex? It's all ruined. All right.

So you're playing for Alex, Nick. And Katie's playing for Joshua. You ruined it. What's your name, Alex? It's all ruined. All right, so you're playing for Alex, Nick, and Katie's playing for Joshua. You and me, Josh. And Paul is playing for Sean, Sean, Sean. Yeah, yeah, I'll talk you through it. But do they help me at all? They don't do anything. They just helped us to eat up a lot of time.

It was fascinating in no way whatsoever. God, and your listeners stay through the entire thing. Listeners had to listen to people being picked from an audience that they can't see. They can't see the signs. They don't know that there were much better signs sitting right here that you guys could immediately...

Your hook podcast audience. Okay, so yeah, and we also now have very little time left to play the game. But that doesn't matter. I'm ready. Let's go. You guys do what you want to do. It's your episode. Do it. The categories are...

All right, we'll start with you, Katie. I'm going to give you three categories to choose from, and you have to pick one. You're going first because it gives you more control over where this goes. I love it. Okay. Would you like movies that feature past guest John Lithgow? No. Tony Curtis died recently.

We lost a great actor with him. May he rest in peace. Tony Curtis movies? Tony Curtis buried with his iPhone. Really? Yeah, weird and true. Well, because he probably just saw that Ryan Reynolds movie and he's like, just in case.

That cell phone really came in handy. Ryan Reynolds, baby, I should be married with one. I gotta play Angry Birds in the afterlife. I can't get past this board. Words with friends. Words with friends. And your third choice is, it's her birthday today, Kate Winslet.

I'll go Kate Winslet. I'm a jerk. I know these things. Awesome. Now, would you like. Kate Winslet. I'll go Kate Winslet. I'm a chick. I know these things. Awesome. Now, would you like a Kate Winslet movie from 97, 2004, or 2006? 97. Classic.

Classic Winslet. Everybody already knows the answer. Titanic. Some people are good with years. Also, that would be a crucial part of the game is to not blurt out the answer when we haven't done the next part yet. So I guess what do we do now?

Do you want me to pick a different year? That'll help. Okay. Give me another year. 2004 or 2006? 2006. Titanic. Sorry.

Titanic 2. I have ruined the entire podcast But I thought they kind of explained to you how it works But we're doing good They didn't tell me I couldn't blurt anything Oh yeah, you can't blurt anything Thanks, Paul Here you go Okay, now I'm in

He'll set it up Like on Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune You know how they wait their turn before yelling out an answer? I thought that they, not blurting it out was self-explanatory. I thought it was get it out there as quickly as possible. No, no, no, no, no.

I meant it to win it, guys. Joshua, I'm doing it for you. Good luck, Joshua. I'm so sorry. I'm such a dork. I'm so sorry. Okay, this movie from 2006 with Kate Winslet was given four stars by Mr. Leonard Maltin.

I don't know if it's that good. I don't know if it's that good. And then a couple quick clues. He says that it's an emotional story. And he also calls it, oh, he says that it was written by someone who adapted their own novel. And it's four stars from 2006, and you get 13 names. So you have to say how many people... Now guess how many names you think you can get it in,

reading from the bottom of the cast up. So it's 13 names, so it gets a little on the obscure side i think i can i'm supposed to guess how many you could say i can get in 13 names or you can bid lower if you think well here's the deal is that i know the movie and i can't think of it so maybe if you just give me maybe you hear some stuff give me give me seven names okay so now we go down to nick and he gets to bid lower or say name that movie. I'll bid six names. Paul Scheer. Four names.

Paul Scheer says four names. Katie Asselton. Four names. Asshole. Four names. You could do it in three or name it. You could do less. I will do it in three.

I will do it in two because I it in three I will do it in two because I think I know Wait it's on a nickname Oh Sorry Go in clockwise We're not in auction I'm going to say to Katie

to name that movie So she's got to do it in three names Alright Let her name it in three Okay you get three names Katie Okay Alright

Will Lyman Raymond J. Berry and Jane Addams Will Lyman Raymond J. Berry and Jane Adams I can you still think you know what it is? four stars, 2006 emotional story

yes, divorced parents adapted from his own novel and they're on the playground and I read the fucking book it's going to be a hard one to pull, because it's not like it's named. It's one of those movies where after it's over,

you go, why'd they call it that? Because the fucking ship went down. I don't know. Is it my turn? Yeah, you can just say it. Little children? Yeah, yeah.

You get the point anyway for telling her to name the movie. I'm so good at this. And I read the book and saw the movie. Okay, we start with Paul this time. I was fucking Jack Euler for a while.

I can believe that. John Lithgow movies from 83, 84, or 2009. 83, 84, 2009. Fuck. 83, 84, 2009. Well, let's see. I'm going to do 83. Okay. Four stars from Leonard Maltin.

He's being very generous today. He calls it wonderful. And he also says it had a sequel and there are he said that in his immediate review of the movie in the review

he mentions that there was a sequel oh okay he said the same thing about freebie seven names you start the bidding Paul Scheer

I can name it in six names six names says Paul now we go to... What year again? Katie. 83.

83? Yeah. I'm going to say three. I like the way you play. Joshua doesn't care for it. Can I pass? No, no. Now you either have to tell her to name it

or you have to go lower. All right. I either have to tell her to name it or you have to go lower. All right, I'm going to tell her to name that movie. I'm going to tell you to fucking name it in about two seconds. All right. You can do that after I get the point when you can't fucking name it. I think you might get this one.

John Lithgow's in it. It's from 1983. I don't want to keep saying 2000. It's from 1983. Four stars from Len. It's wonderful. And it had a sequel. And the three names you get are Danny DeVito, Lisa Hart Carroll, and Jeff Daniels.

That's out of seven names. There's only four names. Not the movie I was thinking of. Just FYI. Yeah, I don't know it. It's not what I was... I have no idea. Danny DeVito.

Danny DeVito. Jeff Daniels. Jeff Daniels. John Lithgow. John Lithgow. From 1983. Yeah, I was like five. Sorry, Joshua.

Sorry, Josh. Hey. Sorry. You were five, still you've caught up on some of the classics. No I haven't. No I haven't. Wait hold on. Hold on. It had a sequel. It had a sequel.

It's great. The sequel is called the sequel. I gave that as a clue because no one thinks of it as a movie that had a sequel. The sequel is called The Evening Star. And the movie is called Terms of Endearment. That's right. I don't remember Danny DeVito

feeling that. Danny DeVito's in it. He's like a suitor for like he kind of hits on Shirley MacLaine. He's got like a cowboy hat. I only think of DeVito in movies with monkeys

or Tony Danza. Joshua, I'm going to stop talking now. All right, well, so Nick won. That was a very exciting match. So he won for Alex. And this is what you get, Alex. It's amazing. You get the normal crap I always give, my two CDs.

But you also get a Seriously Don't Fuck My Mom from Cyrus sticker. And a poster for the freebie. It's a nice sexy poster of Katie and Dax being all sexy together. Yeah, sign that shit. And then a League hat. Alex.

Yeah. League on Thursday nights on FX. A League shirt. Even says Season 2 on it. They're not bringing by some Season 1 bullshit. And then a shirt for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Season 6. Which is in bright yellow.

Enjoy. And a DVD of the whole first season of the League. Yeah, so it's the whole season before Kelly Lynch left. And then... One page from a Cameron Crowe script. The newest Cameron Crowe script. Is it a produced one?

No, it's the one that is shooting in January. You're just writing Jerry Maguire 2 at the top? Yeah, Jerry Maguire 2. Electric Boogaloo. All right, do you guys have anything else you want to plug while I go find out some things from the audience members? What else? The League is going on tour.

We're around in Chicago. We're doing Chicago on October 19th. At the House of Blues. Yeah. And then what else? What other things? Just go visit websites. Continue to... Oh, and I always like to get the word out about scare tactics.

Guys, if you have a DVR, put in scare tactics. Watch it. It's amazing. You think I'm joking. You'll be entertained. High, not high. Drunk, not drunk. It doesn't matter.

It's entertaining to everyone. Yeah, go see Freebie if you can. It's going to be in a bunch of hipster cities. It's playing where all the cool kids are at. Where the cool kids are at and America doesn't care about. Also, if you see Scott Bakula in the street, do not give him money.

It only makes it worse. And I just have to get that. Stay hydrated. Alright, let's hear it for my guests from the league. Nick Kroll, Katie Asselton, and Paul Scheer. Yeah, throw all that in the bag and give it to Joshua. Congratulations

Joshua. And, Joshua. And as always, as always, Scott Peters is a shithead. And Bobby Flay is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. He hides a bolted view and prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies!