Doug Loves Movies - Nikki Glaser, Andrew Collin and Carlisle Forrester guest

Episode Date: May 18, 2020

Doug welcomes Nikki Glaser, Andrew Collin and Carlisle Forrester to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming baby, sticky seeds with 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love you up with Nikki Glaser. This is Doug Loves Movies, Coming to you once again from our final days It's Sunday, May 17, 2020 And my guests today are the hosts and frequent guests Of You Up with Nikki Glaser on SiriusXM Andrew Colley, Carlisle Forrester, and Nikki Glaser

Yay! Hello! Thanks, Doug! I mean, if we were doing this somewhere live the crowd would be going nuts right now i know i i feel it um but it gets cut that in a post yeah the three of you together uh what a what a force it really is this is like um this is a good reunion in fact um i don't know if you know but um my show doesn't exist anymore on Sirius. But so that's a shame. But we did have a good run for two, over two years.

But it's no longer. This is how I have to find out. Next thing you know, you're going to tell me Fred Willard died. No, he didn't. He didn't. Okay, good. Yeah, yeah, that's true he's no lie fake news when did this happen it must have just this week yeah it was yeah last week was the the last uh

last week we had off it was like two um two thursdays ago but my contract was up and um it just didn't seem like something either of us wanted to continue doing in the way we were doing it. And so we amicably split ways. And I might go back to them at some point. They might come back to me. But for now, the show is over. Sorry you had to find out this way, Doug. I really am terribly sad about it, but also, you know,

because I would never, uh, I was never in a car, so I wasn't, you know, I'm not driving around in the mornings at all anymore. So I don't, you missed it because you didn't have the rental. You weren't doing your road gigs. So it slipped by you. Yeah. Serious is awesome. And I loved having a show there. I love doing a show every day, but, um, and I want to do it again like that, but that it's, you just, all things must end. It's such a bummer. Do you ever feel that way when your stuff like stuff ends for you, Doug? Like are, I kind of haven't announced it. I did. That's why you didn't know. I haven't been like too, um,

melodramatic or like sad about it because I think I'm just too sad and I can't let the sadness in. So it's just like onto the next. Yeah. And it's also, you get a lot less, you're just going to get so many nice people that are supportive of you telling you what, how bummed they are about it not being a show and how can we fix this? And it's not, that's not really what needs to happen. What needs to happen is just everybody continue to have, you know, be fans and continue to follow what you're onto next. It's exactly it.

I didn't want that outpouring of like, what happened? Why did they cancel you? And like explaining that's not what happened. Just, I'm going, you think I'm just never going to work again? There'll be another way to consume me.

Just give me a little bit of time and everything will be okay. But yeah, it's, it's an, and whatever we did with that show, like I'm obviously always going to work with Carlisle and Andrew. Who's, you know,

the relationship we developed on air is like going to facilitate so many other things. So the show will like keep existing in different ways, but for now it's gone. Yeah. She just yells at me in private doug which is yeah it's not quite the same when you know not a certain million people are listening but is it does it make you feel sadder inside when there's no one listening or or is it a little better because no one's listening? No, it makes me feel way sadder. I mean, at least I'm getting, you know, that sweet clout and that publicity when she's

telling me to get her coffee. But when it's just me and her alone, it just doesn't feel the same. Yeah, me just DMing him to bully him doesn't have the same, it doesn't hit the same as when I have, know that people are listening so i often those times i'll just screenshot it and share it on my instagram story just to let people know that the abuse continues she tagged me she could do whatever she cut my dick off thug he'll do anything for a blue check mark is that is that big hat you're wearing full of spare dicks

look i'm not going to video to show you i'll tell you that uh so that's andrew collins zooming in from the east coast right yeah yeah where are you at are you in new york city so i was in brooklyn for three months in a disgusting horrible apartment and then my brother who's way more successful than me uh picked me up kind of got me out of jail and brought me up to his hamptons estate and so now i'm in the pool house because he doesn't let me in the main house near his children and I'm overlooking an amazing pool about two acres of land and Gwyneth Paltrow I can see her

vagina candle from my front yard so my life is good right now alright also joining us. Representing the West Coast is Carlisle Forrester. What up? Squirt, squirt. You have a new show about hanging out, right?

Yes. So this is what I wanted to tell y'all. All of us, actually, if you're're missing us we're still doing daily content i have a new show i have a daily podcast and a weekly show here for the hang that's on youtube that has a supplemental podcast that's daily that you can check out if you subscribe to patreon here for the hang and yeah check it out i gotta have all of y'all on soon too i'm glad you kept that to exactly 15 seconds so people can just click that little 15 second skip at that point and and start right back up at the show i'm just kidding it was a perfect ad and now back to dead loves movie carlisle is so funny and i've been waiting for her to put out some like content on her own and like that she hosts and is the producer of so definitely support a

new podcast here for the hang because she's she's why carlisle there's no one else like her um i have so many good stories and like so i'm putting out the weekly show which is more produced and you'll see it has like a musical act and an interview with a comic but i get so candid in my shit like i can't have this stuff live on the internet forever and that's why i created the patreon podcast because at least then you kind of narrow down like who hears this thing yeah people can record though wow and cancel you later i'm just trying to get people to subscribe to patreon glaze but um right right well i'm telling all i'm i'm just like yeah there are things that carla carla is one of my best friends and there are things that she says to me sometimes where she has to preface it like

now if i tell you this are you still gonna want to hang out with me after this you she'll lock the doors in her car before she'll tell me a story so that I can't run out into traffic to escape the rawness of how broken she once was. It's insane. She's got wild stories. Yes, Andrew.

Come on. I don't worry about her as much anymore as long as... These are all stories from the past, okay? I'm actually thinking about relapsing just to get some new material because... I know, me too. Good. Okay, I've gotten too boring.

You too, Glaze. Whenever you're talking about that on the last radio show about how like we would have to relapse if we did a reality show. Yeah. It is... I am so down. Like, it's true and I would be your relapse twin in a second on a reality it would look like what it would look like that it would look like the episode

of intervention that they send in to be considered for the emmys if if you and i did a funky fun reality show where we relapsed it would get so dark quick We'd be in a gas station bathroom. Britney Spears style barefoot. I don't know, though. I think it would be different now. Yeah. This is what I want to ask. Okay, Doug, do you ever drink? I feel like I never see you drinking.

Oh, yeah. I used to drink every night, and then comedy ended. Yeah. So now that I'm not in comedy clubs every night i'm i'm uh much better with my drinking i'd like it's almost down to uh not i wouldn't say not at all because i enjoy the way a lot of different alcohols taste so now when i drink i just have a glass of something and i don't right wow don't drink to get drunk ever that's interesting because you can really tell in this pandemic what you're addicted to and what is just like something that

is like because of your lifestyle like the fact that you can have one drink in quarantine means you probably don't have a problem with it but like I just feel like what like I'm realizing with caffeine like I'm super addicted to that because there's no reason I need to be drinking coffee right now. And yet I like crave it all the time. And like, I would argue, no, because you are, you have to be on your broadcasting. You're doing all of these appearances for that. No, I don't think, I don't think it requires as much energy. I just like walking down the hallway into my dad's office. What about we, Doug? Are you doing more, same, less? Oh, God.

Pretty much the same, but with an eye on, you know, making it last, you know, because while the dispensaries are open because they're considered, you know, essential businesses, it's still weird to have to a have to go to a place or even have a guy come over with it yeah just taking a risk for your housing they're price gouging so bad right now too doug do you find that i do but some are better than others and that's the great thing about living where i do in Los Angeles and having the kind of time I have right now is that I could just walk to lots of different places and just find ones that have the best deals and just walk there, you know? Yeah. But then once you're inside though, there,

there tend to be small and a lot of people in there and it just, it's a, you know. Risking your health for a stupid drug that you probably don't necessarily need. So I understand what you're saying about just like, you rationing it i feel the same way even groceries you just like make groceries last so much more than you used to yeah and you find the right you know like um where i live there's a there's one grocery store that's packed with people all the time and then i walked a few extra blocks to one that's empty all the time yes gee gee where am i gonna do my grocery shopping as i move forward you know yeah yeah you have to like the place with spoiled food it's probably pretty shitty food there doug that you're buying you know how is um how is st louis treating you nikki i've i kind of love it to be honest with

you doug like i am realizing that i can do a lot of the work i need to do from here and that i could build things here for the my future and like i could i could have a career outside of st louis so or in st louis um i'm not ready to commit to it yet but i am moving out of new york city and just like gonna put myself in storage and and figure out what's next but i really comedy clubs doing there are they in st louis yeah oh i don't know i'd rather do a Zoom show than go to the Funny Bone at this point. Like, I'm craving doing stand-up, but not that much. I haven't even checked on the comedy clubs. That just seems so far off to me to be performing stand-up live.

I don't count on doing that until the very end of the year or early next year. And it's not even in my mind. It's more about, like, my quality of life. And I have a pretty good one out in the suburbs of old st louis i feel bad that like a lot of comedians myself included just have this kind of like engine where you just want you you want to get back to it and what the waiting is so frustrating and uh so i feel like a lot of shows are going to happen when they shouldn't be happening yet yeah i won't be doing those i don't think if you're a comedy club and listening i will headline if they don't want to i'm ready today i was ready six months ago yeah you have your first theater show booked in wuhan next week right yeah yeah it's gonna be crazy it's

no ac windows closed everyone's actually have to sit in the same chair it's musical chairs live it's called the cough in my direction tour isn't it i mean i didn't want to announce it yet i was waiting for carlisle to get done with her patreon but but you dug coffin is coffin is spelled coffin c-o-f-f-i-n oh man you guys are right on you guys know my this is so you guys talking my rap well all right well we can uh fortunately fortunately still play silly movie trivia games over Zoom. So that's still going strong. And this is the point in the show where I say, let the games begin.

This first game, I'm so excited about this. It's called the Homes Alone, Home Alone game. We're all alone right now. We all know what it's like to be Kevin McAllister. So this particular game is where luck and knowledge about Home Alone movies go hand in hand while also remaining six feet apart. Andrew,

you'll go first because we're going alphabetically and before anybody speaks up, it could be first name or last name. You're all alphabetically the same. Oh, wow. That's cool. Yeah, you didn't know that about the three of you, that Nikki always comes last.

Or not at all, Doug. Andrew, how do you know my efforts this week? Nikki comes TBD. When my parents go to their river cabin. Okay, so Andrew's's gonna go first and i'm gonna ask you a question about home alone and then uh if you give me the correct answer you get a point if you miss i will go to carlisle who i will give two possible options for the correct answer. And if she gets that right, she gets a point. If she misses, then Nikki gets the free lucky point because at that point, you'd know what the answer is. And it moves around like that. So whenever somebody gets

something right, the next person to go first is again in alphabetical order. So Andrew, are you ready for your first Home Alone question? I'm ready. I'm ready, Doug. Do you know the movie? The one with Joe Pesci? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I think you're going to nail this. Tell me it's a joke. Andrew, how many brothers does Kevin McAllister have?

Real brothers or black friends? How many white brothers that live in the same house until they leave him home alone. No orphans that just live there. Okay. I'm trying to think. I think he had one brother. Incorrect. Go to Carlisle.

Carlisle, does he have two or three brothers? I think he has two. Buzz and the blonde-haired dude. That is correct. Yes. Nice. Trick question. One point for Carlisle. No trick, Andrew.

The trick was knowing anything about that movie. So, Carly Ha has one point, and it's the first person to two points. It's going to end quick, maybe. Wait, the game's to two? What's that? The game is to two? Two points, yeah

There's lots of games to play Oh, okay, sorry Yeah, this game is kind of a warm-up and a warm-up Nikki? Yeah?

How many sisters does Kevin have? Oh, no. God damn it. Okay, I don't know this at all because I don't remember any interaction with sisters. But I feel like there were like 10 kids in that goddamn house. And so if he only had two brothers, that means he had to have had like, I'm going to say the cousins were in town. Oh, Carlisle. Carlisle, shut the hell up.

Carlisle, even though you're helping me, I'm mad about it. Okay. I'm going to say one sister. That's incorrect. Damn it. Man, the callisters were talking. Andrew, does he have one or two

sisters? Six. No, two. He has two sisters. Final answer, Doug. You know, that's not cool saying that final answer shit with Nikki here. I know it's really really rude and I'm triggered and I have to go I'm not gonna cry about it you know Nikki you did that on that show I think because you've had a lifetime

of getting out of speeding tickets it's really it works i i know what works i couldn't blow i couldn't blow kimmel so my my bag of tricks was limited uh i swear to god i didn't cry to get out of it because i didn't first of all can i just really say i didn't know i wasn't i thought I was crying because I knew I was eliminated because the gameplay, the rules are the rules. Like I, I didn't think there was like some deliberation and we were going to

come back and I was going to get, like, I thought it was already decided. So that's why I cried. I didn't even, I would have cried so much harder if I thought I was like crying for a chance to keep playing. I was crying.

All I heard was white privilege dog yeah they just uh you know that that's the thing on that show is that it tends to be they'd like the slow suspenseful everything so like it just normally goes final answer yeah final answer you sure it's your fun you know like there's a final answer. And you just went so fast that nobody had time to go, wait a second. And then they went, you know, I think they did the right thing. I think they did too, because it was for charity. But if it was the real game, there's just, it would have been insane to let me have that because the rules are the rules. The thing, the reason why Carlisle was there. So for those of you who don't know, I was on who wants to be a millionaire. And I accidentally said the wrong answer that I wanted to answer. And I locked it

in final answer, like right away without thinking. And I immediately realized what I'd done wrong and was screaming, no, no. And then we go to commercial and I just thought we were going to come back from commercial and they were going to tell me that I was eliminated. So I was like crying during the commercial. Dr. Drew came in, like comforted me but the only reason that i said final answer they put it in your head is because they briefed me before and carl i was there and i was just like bring like a guy from the gaming commission that's like in a suit that's watching the rules be read to you like it's very serious yeah and they were just like final answer you have to say final answer if you don't say final answer it's not locked in so safe it was like there's this weird obsession around final

answer that made me crazy about it say even if you say final answer then you go oh no way i didn't mean that then that counts like he even set up that scenario which is why that was in her head like right but it's just so it's so funny it, like right before she went on stage. It's so funny the way, though. It's like you and Drew agreed on an answer, and then you just turned and said the thing we knew you weren't going to say. Exactly. So the fact that I'm glad that I talked out my reasoning,

because you knew what I meant to have said, and it was just me having a Tourette's moment. Yeah, that happens all the time, what I meant to have said. And it was just me having like a Tourette's moment. Yeah. Well, that happens all the time where somebody really thinks they said a word and a completely different word came out of it. Yes. Yes. It happens all the time.

My nephew cannot say grandpa. He can say so many words. He's three. Like he can say any word. And then you go say grandpa and he goes, Bobaki. And he like, he thinks that after that, he like he thinks that after that yeah he thinks that he thinks that

he's saying grandpa but he's saying bo baki and so we it's it's the funniest thing i don't know that might be like what they call their that might be off some greek children's show he found on youtube i don't know he would win on uh how to be a millionaire because he instead of final answer he'd say flippy flappy it wouldn't be locked in. That's for sure. Okay. Wait. Home Alone. I'm so sorry. No, I got the point.

I really did. Oh, good. Good job. So it's Andrew and Carlisle. Each have a point. But Nikki, you'll still have a chance if Carlisle misses this one. All right, Carlisle? Okay.

Wait, don't. Oh, I thought I'd go now. No? Okay. Yeah, you just got the points. Now we're going to Carlisle. Oh, sorry. don't. Oh, I thought I'd go now. No? Okay. Yeah, you just got the points. Now we're going to Carlisle. Oh, sorry. I'm an idiot. I'm finally an idiot.

Carlisle, how many Oscar nominations did Home Alone get? I mean, zero, right? Home Alone's not an Oscar movie. Is that your flibby flabby? Hey, Babooski, relax. I'm going to say zero. That is incorrect. Okay.

That's a good question. Now it goes to Nikki. And you get an option. You get an option. Oh, really? Okay. Did it get one or two Oscar nominations? I'm going to say one.

Incorrect. Damn it! Andrew wins. Andrew. It got two nominations. Andrew, do you want to say in what categories? Andrew. Man alive. It got two nominations for bonus points. Andrew, do you want

to say for in what categories? Of course I know best screenplay and best freaking movie. And it won two. Are you on your

phone again? Googling? No, no. This is very specific. Best music and for a 10 year old. No, no. This is very specific. Best music and for a 10-year-old.

Yeah, that's not a category, but I'm sure in the Oscars in your mind it is, but it's you were right about the music. It got nominated for best score because it was by John Williams and also best song for

some dumbass song that was in it. Home alone again. Home alone again. His mom is gonna scream on a plane. John Candy is in a van.

Home alone. I think that was it. That was it. John Candy is in a van. Home alone. I think that was it. That was it. Candy is in a van. Yeah. I like how you say the first Home Alone, they're already saying Kevin's Home Alone again. I know.

It was foreshadowing. That was the advertising. Yeah, there's a pre uh what do they call it when there's like movies before the movie that don't exist yeah there's that and he gets home alone one time one other time his mom uh just trusted him while she ran to the grocery store real quick while he was um home alone sick and it was just a quick trip nothing really happened and um everything was fine so it wasn't a great movie but it was home alone again yes it's a duet duet.

Home alone again. Aren't you tired of being a little boy who's always stuck at home? Burglars in the face with irons. Iron. Burning

Joe Pesci's hand you make friends with a really old man your mom is eccentric your dad is trusty and your brother's kind underneath you've got a spider that's gonna come in handy you recorded a movie and then used it against them that was a great idea all right i'm done i can't keep going that was fantastic for someone that was one right answer you know everything about the movie. You get a bonus point for that. That's what that song is called. Everything Nikki knows about Home Alone. That would be such a fun genre of things to do. Like, I know so little about so much.

That's so funny. Just to always that tune. All right. Here's a weird piece of trivia that I discovered around Home Alone, and that's for a while, people thought that Elvis Presley was an extra in one scene.

Whoa! Yeah, and then eventually it was debunked because the guy who really was in the scene is like some extra that was in a bunch of different movies that's weird bonuses in the movie can only see if you pause it and like you know look really quickly yeah yeah yeah and when kevin's like throwing all those ingredients into a bowl making himself a disgusting dessert it's it's called the elvis special yeah peanut butter and like bananas and pickles. What was it?

Yeah. That's a classic Elvis. He was gross. All right. So Andrew won the first game. We got one more game and we're going to do it after these messages. We'll be right back. We're back.

I told you we'd be right back. That was so fast. Was that Carl at Patreon again? I can do a fast live read, can't I? That's incredible. Okay, so to determine a winner today, we're going to play a game called Last Person Standing. And because

you won that last game, Andrew, you've got a crazy piece of control over this next game. It's going to give you quite an advantage. I don't feel you deserve but you got it. You're going to have to name an actor or actress who you think you're very

familiar with their, all their film roles. And then we will, all four of us, I like to play along. We'll take turns naming films that they were in. And if you can't think of one, you out and uh like i said andrew you have the control you get to decide which actor or actress oh man this is good um nice elvis let me think um i think i could only name like three Elvis movies. Home Alone, Home Alone Again, and the prequel. I think I'm going to go with Leonardo DiCaprio.

Oh, that's a great one. Yeah. You ladies feeling all right about Leo? Oh, God, I feel great. I feel so good about him. Always have. Always will. All right, so it goes Andrew, Carlisle, Nicky,

Doug, and like I said, we go until somebody, when you can't think of one, you're out, and start us off, Andrew, with any film featuring Leo DiCaprio. If I got this wrong right now, I would look like the dumbest man alive. I think you could do it.

No, your hat does that. The one with the dicks in it? Yeah. Gangs of New York. Okay. Who's next? Carlisle. Me?

All right. The Beach. Oh, yeah. It's my favorite. I love The Beach. Nikki. Shutter Island. No Googling.

No, of course not. Yeah, we're all playing fair. not. Yeah, we're all playing fair. I'm going to say I'm going to go early DiCaprio and say what's eating Gilbert grape? I'm up here, Gilbert.

I'm going to go with basketball diaries. Ooh. Have you ever gotten basketball diarrhea? Twice. The first time I played it and the last, if you know what I mean. Is that what episode nine of The Last Dance is going to be about? You don't know that story when Jordan quit?

Yeah. With the Wizards, no one remembers it. Yeah. He switched to switch to baseball. No one remembers it. Yeah. He switched to baseball because he had IBS, and there's a lot less activity in baseball. No, it's easier to cover shit in pants. Yeah, it really is. It just goes down your pant, and if you really protect it.

You just slide into it. The outfield. Yes. Yeah, having constant diarrhea in basketball shorts is a true nightmare. Oh God. Yeah. You put shit on the ball. Where were we?

Okay. I was just stressed out thinking about what my answer is going to be but it's the most obvious one it's right there romeo and juliet baby oh yeah best soundtrack ever sometimes referred to as william shakespeare's romeo and juliet oh really baz lerman's william shakespeare's oh right right right man that movie is so good. That was, like, the first sex scene that I couldn't stop thinking about and, like, was obsessed with after I saw it.

Like, me and my friends in eighth grade just couldn't stop. We were, like, when he pulls the sheet over, and none of us had even kissed a boy, but we were, like, oh, my God, that is special. And then the other time, soon after, when he was so hot again and, like, made every girl in my, like, ninth grade class wet was Titanic, of course.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you had an iceberg in your pants. He melted it. He melted it. It's Doug's turn. Yeah, I get a turn. But I also just want to take a moment with that iceberg in the pants

joke. Yeah, let's let that breathe. Let that breathe. Nobody's going to go down with that joke. I did. Yeah, you were the violin player. You're like the captain of that joke

where you just sit and look at what you've done and feel like a failure and the windows all crash in and you just drown immediately. Get hit in the head by like a shot of glass. I had a good run though. I had a good run. Look, look, Andrew Collin will go down on jokes just not on

women get it straight not true carla that was one girl one time but how many jokes i need pussy i want to put that out there everybody i know a lot of people men and women alike were worried about where you were on that yeah i'm so glad a lot of people were tuning in to find that answer and i'm glad we got to it i think first of all i was so i was in suspense a while back about dj khaled and then i found out about yeah he doesn't because he works for Weight Watchers and pussy is like two points.

Let me stop that fat for me to eat a hamburger. Come on. Another one. We the best iceberg joke. That guy's too good at eating iceberg lettuce. That guy's too busy eating iceberg lettuce. Here we go. Here we go.

All right. I'm going to say I'm going to go back to, again, back towards the beginning. I'm going to say this boy's life. Wow. I like that with De Niro. Boy's life. Boy's life. Boy's life. All right. I'm going to that with De Niro. Boys life, boys life, boys life. All right, I'm going to go with The Aviator.

Aviator. Wait, is it me now? Oh, yeah, it's you. It's you, babe. Sorry. Carlisle. Catch me if you can. Damn it, that was going to be mine.

Okay. Same year. The Great Gatsby. I thought that was Carlisle's statement about the pandemic. Great Gatsby. Yeah. Have you seen that movie?

I haven't. I mean, if you want to see like a very rich but also very insecure and weird Leonardo DiCaprio, it's strange. I don't think there's any other movie where Leo is so like losing his mind over just some woman. Oh, wow.

Yeah, I like that. I would want to see that. Even though he played Romeo, who literally blew his head off over a woman. Right, but it was, you know, in this no i know what you mean yeah yeah yeah he's like he's really unwell like he plays a truly like kind of insane person oh yeah he he yeah like their first date or it isn't even a date she's just coming over or something he just buys a shit ton of flowers and it's just it's just overkill immediately like she's already like oh oh oh it's desperate leo i'd love that yeah it's really weird and then toby mcguire's just standing around smiling at him all right they're good buds all right um yeah they are probably in love with each other Oh, it's back to me again already

Okay, I'm going to say I'm going to go with Oh yeah, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Tell us about it Well, it all started When a lady named Holly A lady named holly made a sign um have you seen this hollywood thing on netflix yes it's so good is it how many episodes have you seen i'm on the third episode oh me too

yeah it's a reality show no it's it's a scripted show about Hollywood in the 40s. 30s or 40s? I don't know. Old Hollywood, but everything is about sex. Like, everybody was sleeping ahead to get anything. Like, I just think it's so funny, Doug, how even the girl that's, like, she's married to a writer, this actress, and she's like, I want to pitch you this script.

And he's like, all right, tell me about it. And she has to, like, write him while she's pitching him I want to pitch you this script. And he's like, all right, tell me about it. And she has to like ride him while she's pitching him like her own husband. Just everything is so sexual because it's Ryan Murphy, like nip tuck. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's about LA. They'll just randomly throw out the name of a real actual famous person and some horrible thing they supposedly did. Whoa.

Rock Hudson is the lead guy. it's supposed to be yeah yeah there's like these things that like uh that they slip into the uh the storyline that's very uh it's it's very catty and very uh scandalous and um i'm gonna wait till the end because there's a bunch of facts that happen over the course of the show that are real and then a lot of stuff that's fictionalized and so i'm gonna wait till the end and there's a bunch of facts that happen over the course of the show that are real and then a lot of stuff that's fictionalized and so i might wait till the end and then read about all the stuff in there that you know was true yeah interesting like they can get away with maybe slandering people just by being like oh it's fictional like some of this is real and some of it's not you know throw a line like uh you know george cacore slept with all his actresses and i'm like wait that's the guy that was he dragged it gone with the wind i know that name right just say

stuff like that yeah they're just very casually throwing people under buses well it sounds like it's all people that are dead or like kind of irrelevant like it's funny because what the harvey weinstein thing always leads me to believe like everyone knows everything and it just takes one person to be like, no, actually guys, this is like, cause if you search, there's stuff about everyone. Oh yeah. People know. So that's, that's really interesting. I can't wait to see what's real and what's not. I just watched that a documentary on HBO about Natalie wood and it's like,

me too. It's so good. It's great great but it only makes you wonder more about what the fuck happened what the fuck happened I don't understand why we can't fit Christopher walking down and go you know something

he was there dude dude you gotta watch the documentary Robert Wagner is telling what happened which I I believe him, oddly enough. But while he was talking, it sounded like he was the guy in the jinx, you know, when he was clearing his throat so much and like kind of mumbling under his breath.

Like he kind of had that style of telling the account of the night, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, and his daughter who believes him is the one who's interviewing him and then also producing the movie. So it's very much like trying to clear his name, but they don't have anything to clear his name. He's the last person that saw her alive.

Yeah. You know, so it's like. And is his story just that she heard clanging on the boat and went out there to go and untie the boat or something? Here's why that's bullshit. I haven't seen the documentary, but I listened to the podcast that's all about Natalie Wood, like from birth.

And she, from birth, had a fear of water. Her mom saw a fortune teller before she was born, told her she was going to die. They cover that. Okay, they do. But Carlisle, they make a great point, which is so funny. Doug, you know what I'm going to say, where they're like, okay, yeah, she was always scared of dark water, but

who isn't? Dark water sucks. No one's excited about dark, mysterious water. I see her going out there in her nightgown and fucking with a boat. That's a crazy story.

That's Andrew's pickup line is, hey, do you like dark water? My friend has a boat. I know where I can show you some really dark water. I'm so sick of seeing crystal clear blue water. It's almost like that disgusts me.

So I really just the darker the better the murkier the confusion about how deep it is i need that to be yeah i just need it to be black as night but that's the thing about yeah that's the thing is that uh you know they said you know what carlisle said is true that they it was that she did speak of having a fear of water but then the movie uh cuts together clips of her like she's constantly in swimming pools in her in her personal life and in movies yeah but that's that's right yeah it's it's safe for water it's safe for water to be sure. But she also, those three, Christopher Walken and Robert Wagner and her, they were all out on a boat in Catalina because that's, you know,

they were living the life. But it doesn't seem like a great place to be super scared of water. It's just, you know. Did you know it was the same doctor as Marilyn Monroe's? Really? Yeah. And I heard they both have a secretary named Lincoln.

True. I just am like, why were those three on a boat together? Oh, I know. There's some weird sex stuff going on, which I'm just, I don't think was maybe, could have connected to why she died but like i kind of want to know that side of it and that's what's going on with those three talk about it they didn't go over that i saw the pbs

documentary i love that we've all seen different versions maybe that's the one i saw with but her daughter did it so i think it's on the hbo one uh, I saw one where it talks about she was married to Robert Wagner, and then she left him. They both had kids in different relationships. Then got back together, and then she was in a movie with Christopher Walken, and there were rumors that they were banging. And so then when they got on the boat, they said Walken and the other dude were arguing,

and then that's when it all went down. They were arguing because it was a debate over, Christopher Walken was saying you need to let your wife work more in movies because she's taking a lot of time off to be with the kids. And Robert Wagner was like, hey, don't tell us how to live our lives. And they're arguing like that and then she falls off the boat. End of story. Like what?

Yeah. The guy that was the captain of the boat was like, there was a huge fight. There was a bottle broken. And they made that captain of the boat. Robert Wagner made him live in his house, his mansion in Beverly Hills for a year, kept him captive,

would not let him speak to the press. He had a girlfriend at the time that would come to the house. He had a guard send her away like he developed a drinking problem. He was like, yeah, at first is great. You're sitting by the pool all day in this Beverly Hills mansion. But it's like he wanted to leave at some point. And they were like, oh, no, buddy, you're staying right here for a year after and why do you think they did that because he knew shit because he needed a place to stay okay stay yeah good guy no hey let's get back to this leo thing um yeah yeah we gotta pick a winner andrew uh de jango full title please yeah you really went into that d de jango it's just jango it was a hard d i apologize de jango uncahaned

i'll kill you dog wherever you live i'll live with you Django Unkahained. I'll kill you, Doug, wherever you live. I'll live with you. Is it me? No, it's Carl. It's Carlisle. It's me. Okay, so it's The Revenant. The Reminant.

The Revenant. Wait, wait, wait. The newest one. Revenant. The newest one. That's good. I didn't even know that. Ivenant. The New is one. That's good. I didn't even know that. I know.

I haven't seen it. The Departed. Yes. The Departed. I'm going to go with... Oh, man. It's getting tough. Yeah, it's starting to get into that zone where you have to be really

creative and say shit like marvin's room wow all right uh oh blood diamond brief oh yeah that's one where it's really his accent's really hard to get past because it's really, his accent's really hard to get past. Because it's perfect? No, it's, you know, it's supposed to be South African diamond merchant voice, and it doesn't really, it feels weird. It doesn't work. I mean, I guess it did work, because he probably got nominated for Best Actor

for the fucking thing, but it took me out of it. It's just like there's this new Beanie Feldstein movie, I wanted to love it, but she's British. And I can't, every time she speaks, it feels fake. Does she have to be British? Well, it's based on a story of a British woman, but they filmed it in England and all the other actors are British.

So it just feels weird. It's like this big parlor game where one woman has to pretend to not be an American. Oh, yeah. I i mean that didn't take me out of bridget jones i feel like uh renee zalweger really nailed although i don't know a british accent i feel like she fit well into that world like it seemed it didn't wasn't distracting do you agree or was it southern and british go hand in hand and yeah yeah some are better than others for sure but like it just feels like there's so many British actors that sneak into American

productions and we never know it. Never know. How often does some American get to speak in a British accent and nobody catches on? I know. I don't know, but we're not British. So we can't tell.

And I will say this too, like for specific regions for New York accents and other, you know, like Midwest accents, they get it real specific. But for Southern, y'all just generalize it. Like everybody just talks like a fucking redneck. And whenever you hear it, you can be like, oh, that's so like,

that's a mix of like 10 different regions. It drives me crazy. Right. And what mix are you? He's white and trash. I'm 6% Cherokee Indian. I'm trying to tell y'all that yeah right it's why i can't easy and have a drinking problem she's white and trash but it has a very classy ampersand between okay so uh that's on you carlisle. Oh, Nicky. Oh, it's Nicky.

Wait, who said Blood Diamond? Oh, wait, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot, dude. Again, final answer. Carlisle. Speaking of Southern accent, Andrew's really leaning into it today. You just got so Southern to get the people to like you. It's an A-fect.

I bring it out of him. I will fight you. Yeah. Oh, yeah, my bad, my bad, Carlisle. You go. It's an A-fect. I bring it out of them. I will fight you. My bad, my bad, Carla. You go. You go, Carla. That's a different person than we met at the beginning of this podcast. Green Zero, South Carolina region. Perfect. Nailed it. Sorry, I started to interrupt the game.

Carla, you go. You go, Carla. I go. We're really running out, so i gotta just default to uh growing pain season one oh no carlyle no you're out bitch that's all i can think of um okay i don't remember the name of this movie oh no it no. It could have been like, so I'm just going to take a guess. It was like, I'm thinking I'm going to fuck it up. J. Edgar.

That is correct. No way. Is that the name of it though? It's called J. Edgar. Fuck yes. I can't believe I did that. I was thinking Hoover. I was thinking.

Is that your dad's name? Oh, my God. No, your dad's name? Oh, my God. No, my dad's name's EJ, but very close. Yeah. All right. I'm going to go with Wolf of Wall Street. We haven't said that yet. Oh, come on. Yeah, why didn't I think of that?

Hey, Andrew. Fuck me, dude. I know, it's tough. I was going to do that one. That was on the tip of my freaking tongue all of them shit do I have a time limit I'm sorry yeah cause we have to end the show

in a few minutes it's hard I think oh man I think I might be out too god like I know there's something right in front i'm trying to picture him in every like him singing what's he look like as a like a tiny boy what's he look like if he has lots of makeup on as an old man what's he look like in war like trying to picture him in different like what's he look like underwater oh yeah drowning what does he look

like if he is having sex oh yeah the departed um catch me if you can was a good sex scene like there's so i'm just running out picture him as someone mentally handicapped oh we already named that one um i know he also is very uh you know he's kind of a space ever he's for a movie star he doesn't have a ton he doesn't have a ton. He stars in every movie he's in. He doesn't have a million credits. Right. Each of these takes a year to do.

Yes. Andrew, you're out? I'm not out. I'm sorry. Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Shit. I'm so angry because I know.

I'll tell you whatever. I'm out. Fine. Whatever. I won the first round. That's the important thing. Nikki? That is.

Honestly, I got to be out too, but I will just make a guess and say Austin Powers 3 just because there was lots of cameos in that one and maybe but i'm guessing the guy that killed natalie woods in that yeah not really a um no i know he's not a cameo guy leo's not a cameo guy i mean if anybody ever gets him for one that'll be quite a uh a coup but nikki you did you did technically last the longest of all my three guests today, so you are our winner today. Oh, my gosh. Thank you. Doug, what would you have said?

What's next? Well, I'm still sitting here trying to think of another one. I think I'd come up with one if I waited long enough. I know, me too, but we just don't have time for it. We really nailed it. What were Scorsese's? He's in a bunch of Scorsese's. Well, yeah.

We went through all the Scorsese's, there are Gangs of New York Scorsese's. He's in... Well, yeah. We went through all the... Scorsese's are Gangs of New York, Shudder. Was he ever in space? Wall Street. He's never been in space. He's never been in space. Has he ever been in a Western besides Once Upon a Time? Oh, wait. Yeah, yeah. You got it.

That's how you figured it out. He was in a Western called The Quick and the Dead. Yep. There you go. Oh, I wouldn't have got that. Good job. Yeah, you have to picture him in every setting of a movie. Yeah. All right.

It's hard. That was really fun. That was a great person to pick, though. He's done it all. That's always fun. And do you have any, real quick, Nikki, things that you do want to promote other than your show not existing anymore?

Yeah, I, you know, I still am doing a podcast every day during, every weekday during quarantine for the next two months. It's starting this Monday. I don't know when this is going to be, but it starts Monday the 18th. And it's just, it's called a You Up Hit of Podth and it's just it's called a you up hit of pod and it's just 20 minute episodes every day monday through friday for the next two months and that's on a comedy central uh podcast but it's called you love it love it do you have guests um i don't think so i'm i'm honestly just like doing solo podcasts with uh just my rambling thoughts and um i did them a little bit before i took a break from my show it was always in conjunction with my radio show and um and they just kind of developed over the course of this quarantine i was like i just want

to podcast every day and so now i do these like daily ones that are just like uh my diary entry and they're really fun and i say things that i regret and and they're really fun. And I say things that I regret and, and they're just short and people really love them. So I hope people check them out. Okay. Is that your flippy floppy? That's my flippy floppy. Thank you, Nikki.

I know you have to run off to another, another show right now. So we'll let you go while we do Andrew and Carlisle's plugs. Awesome. This was so much fun. Thank you for having me, Doug. Thank you.

It'll be, it'll be on the internet tonight at midnight. Oh, awesome. Yes. Can't wait. Okay. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. All right. All right. Now we can talk. Yeah, dude. I tell me about like,

wasn't she the worst? Um, Carlisle, do you have any uh anything else you like i mean you could say all the same stuff you said earlier yes once again everybody please check out here for the hang it's on youtube and i have that coming out every week on that show but then a daily podcast that is a accoutrement to that show, if you will. And that is on Patreon only. Patreon here for the hang. And both of y'all need to come on that. Doug, I want to get you on soon because there's so many people that hit me up on YouTube

that are fans of getting Doug with high. And they found me that way. And they told me that way, and they told me that. Oh, nice. So, we have a lot of fans, same fan. I love it. I'm in. I'm happy to participate. You know, and I'll holler at you when GettingDougWithHigh is a thing again. We're still working to get that back off the ground. Okay, that's what I was going to ask you. That's happening again, right? That's the plan, but you know, it's hard to have a plan right now, That's happening again, right? That's the plan, but it's hard to have a plan right now.

But hopefully. And Andrew Collin, what do you want people to do? Are you on Cameo? You should be on Cameo. I am on Cameo. You are? Yeah. How much do you charge?

$20. That sounds like a great deal $20 to get a nice little message From Andrew Collin I literally give it my all I really do try to be as funny as possible I don't just like do Some bullshit He does give it it all because it's all he's got

Okay this is my pitch Carlisle I didn't step on yours When you were literally pitching Doug it's always got. Okay, this is my pitch, Carlisle. I didn't step on yours when you were literally pitching Doug to be on your show, which took an extra 30 seconds, which people have already definitely stopped listening because the meat of the show is over. I'm going to tell Nikki you called her meat.

Yeah, that's the worst possible thing you could call her. The tofu of the show is over um i i just wanted to tell everyone i when nikki's off now uh the serious show is now um i'm uh they gave me the show i haven't told nikki yet and it's gonna be i am up with Andrew. And then I have my podcast called Puddles with Andrew Collins. And it is on Patreon. I do daily ones as well.

And yeah, my next guest is Tom Segura. And I had Nate Bargatze on recently. Myers Leonard. He's an NBA player. I don't know. It's a lot of fun and uh doug i'd love

for you to do it not carlisle well um i only do things that carlisle does so when you work it out with her and i will uh i'll be happy to do it thank you and thank you both for being here or being wherever you are and could you each send me a picture of your like uh you know environment where you're um participating so i can use that in the uh promotional materials my broadcast bunker yeah yeah we'll do yeah just said i want i especially want andrew a picture of you in that that hat with the dicks in it no doubt yeah yeah so uh so you can uh you can slide that into my dms if you don't mind and then maybe someday you'll get my actual phone number and um that's it for now we'll be back again we're doing two shows a week

every single week as always as always though hang on you guys a week, every single week. As always, the horror. As always, hang on, you guys. As always, the horror. The horror. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie.

Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.