Doug Loves Movies - Paget Brewster, John DiMaggio and Tommy McNamara guest

Episode Date: June 6, 2022

Doug welcomes Paget Brewster, John DiMaggio and Tommy McNamara to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming, maybe sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see. Because Doug loves movies. Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. It's Sunday, June 5th, 2022. And my guest today, I'm just going to get right to it. There's no reason to fart around. My guests, I apologize

for using the word fart right before saying your name, Padgett Brewster, John DiMaggio, and Tommy McNamara. Welcome. Thank you. Hello. Welcome. Let's meet them individually and alphabetically, starting with she's on a winning streak. It's our current ongoing champion, Padgett Brewster. It is I, champion.

How has the last week been for you, champ? Have you been walking on air i was until a i dropped an off-brand microwave egg cooker on my leg and gave myself a hand-sized second degree burn other than that i've been reveling in my my championship on Doug Loves Moose. Second degree. Did you have to go see somebody or can you take that home? I'm not going to go anywhere. I took pictures of it. And yeah, and then it is actually it's fine. I'm wrapping it in gauze and then you walk around in your under panties and let the leg dry out. And then so far, the skin has not sloughed off, but it will at some point.

Oh, my God. I hope people are eating. Oh, that is. Well, I'm sorry to hear about that. So it burns to be very uncomfortable, but it sounds like you're getting through it all right yeah i think the problem will be when it gets infected so okay i have that to look forward to yeah well keep it clean i guess i'm keeping it clean yeah what do you do like what do you do like pour some liquid plumber what do you do what do you get some gasoline maybe some rubbing alcohol um all right well i hope you know how to take care of it because uh i know you like to stay home yeah now i have a burn as an excuse well now you're back uh to try

to win once again and uh you got two uh i believe to be strong competitors yeah which is what my mb alex been saying every night on jeopardy to the people trying to take down ryan ryan long but they still in the opening call uh uh you know uh uber driver uh they still call him that in his introduction every time and the man's won a quarter of a million dollars. He's not going to go back to driving an Uber. His job title should be Jeopardy winner. Yeah. Instant celebrity. Cause he's been on long enough now that people recognize him.

He's set. He's, he's going to be fine. All that being said, it's been too long. He's been a busy, busy man, but the voice of every other cartoon character, the other characters that pageant can't cover John DiMaggio.

Hey John, how's it going, Doug? That's yeah. I was crazy busy, but now I'm not busy and I'm happy to be here. That's how this works out is that if you have the time to do it, you're going to have a good time. You're not sitting around saying no to a good time. You just have to do the voice of everything. Yeah, pretty much. As you said, you know, as you wrote to me and while we were emailing back and forth, you said, you know, 90 percent chance of fun, which i'm all for you know that's all yeah i think that's a really good uh yeah you know prediction that's great hey a minus

is way to go i that's all i'm saying a minus for for 10 of the time the guest walks away going what the fuck just happened but every 90 i think they have a good time. I think that's what they usually say when anybody walks away from me. So, you know, so yeah, it was a good time. Yeah. And we also have a first time guests on the show. He's a contributor to the onion sports network and co-host of a podcast that I have appeared on the one time because

that's how it works. You don't get invited back to you on your show. Maybe if I had another band to defend. It's called Stand By Your Band. It's Tommy McNamara. Hello, Doug. I'm so happy to be here. And we'll definitely have you back if you want to come on. I'd have to defend something else, though. See, the first time I went on, I defended Taylor Swift. Yes, which I was happy about because I'm a big Swifty myself. What if I came back a second time and I defended formerly liking Taylor Swift? Because I didn't love her Western stuff, so I didn't really notice her until she moved into pop. Then I loved her pop stuff.

Then whatever it is she's doing now, poetry set to sitars, is not doing it for me. You know what I mean? I'm losing interest in Taylor, which maybe just means I'm growing up. That's a lot more chill now, a lot of the new stuff, the folklore and the evermore. It's more relaxed with a tea.

Yeah. And it's, you know, I used to think her lyrics were kind of clever, but now it's just a word. She said one afternoon into a journal. I'm still on team Tay, but that's just me. Okay. Well, I, you know, I'm trying to stay on it. She's came out with something recently that was seen a little poppier. So I was, I was happy to hear that. Yeah. The support is the thing from us. May I ask a question?

Is there an anti Taylor Swift point of view on standby your band or is, is that, does Tommy have to take that position? No. So basically it's usually pretty positive unless like, like we just did like nickelback and i couldn't really bite my tongue on that one like mostly we try and help out the guests and like be supportive of their choices but there are a few bands where i'm like i'm sorry man i just can't do it nickelback or nickelback yeah so i'd like i'd like just as an experiment because i do think it's such an interesting thing for each guest on Stand By Your Band.

You know, it doesn't have to be like the best band or the worst band, but just one that for some reason you're sort of embarrassed or maybe people think you should be embarrassed for liking them. And, you know, either a singer or a band. Who do you think you would stand by, Paget? That people would not like? Yeah. Like, who do you think you would stand by, Paget? That people would not like? Yeah, like, what do you like that's like, you think it's a guilty pleasure because people around you are like, oh, that sucks. Well, there might be people who don't like

Flock of Seagulls or Duran Duran, but fuck them. I was just reading the other day, somebody saying, Duran Duran never is and never will be rock and roll, and I just threw my phone in the river. Uh-uh. aren't they nominated for the rock and roll hall of fame yeah that's why somebody's tweeting that but it just gets my dander up that like how long do those guys have to be around and how you know they were so insanely popular for a time so it didn't like break up or become weirdos. No! And mind you, the bass player and the guitar

player helped to form Power Station with Tony Thompson and Robert Palmer and they had a bunch of hits. There's a lot. Duran Duran, they did it. They did a Bond theme. They did everything.

Everything. So you're good at this who would you defend who would i defend chicago oh okay they had uh jimmy parto came out and did that it was a lot of fun yeah i mean you you i i i would say yeah yeah sure i could hear totally hear jimmy parto talking about the fucking horny as shit but god damn, that guy comes on stage with his sleeveless denim shirts and he fucking brings it down, man. You can't fucking shit. Come on.

Somebody needs to marry the audio of you and Jimmy Pardo saying the same exact thing. Although Jimmy, I think, is a little more in on them. I don't know if he'd call them corny, but he would certainly make fun of that that particular clothing choice yeah no yeah no it's not they i mean multiple fucking hits even the guy who replaced peter satara had multiple hits before joining the band like he fucking wrote like god uh earth went in fire he's written like so many hits i forget his name his name escapes me right now i feel like dimashio should go on your show and just angrily rant about every band that needs to be defended we got a hook up

i love it yeah tommy do you have a list yeah i bet you tommy you could name you could have a put together with your co-host tom takar you could put together a list of people that you've thought oh that somebody should come on defend this but they never have a list of people that you've thought oh that somebody should come on defend this but they never have a list of those and dimaggio just bangs it out yeah dimaggio go through one by one to claim why they're so great power around yeah i'll do it i'm in i love it count me in and i'm not i'm not angry i just come across as angry it's just terrible no i love it it's it's impassioned but there's a level of rage against some strange person that you feel won't support your support yeah no that's exactly i love it totally hit the nail on the head right there because i'm not yeah

you're already mad at the replies yes yeah incredibly angry at the reply incredibly because i know it's coming oh goodness oh i miss you dimash i know i miss you too all right tommy i don't miss you but i'm gonna i feel like over time just met you it's too soon well we did we did the taylor swift thing. It's probably been a few years now. It's pre-pando, I think. But it's great to have you here. And we do this to the guests on every episode. So Paget, who has just been on a couple episodes in a row, she keeps winning.

She knows what's coming. We like to visit what I call Recommendation Nation. And that's where each one of my guests recommends or, if you want, defends one movie. I've stolen the premise of your show, Stand By Your Band. And I would say, Stand By Your Film. Because oftentimes, our favorite films are, you do have to defend them to other people.

Padgett, what do you have for us this week? What would you like to recommend? are you do have to defend them to other people uh pageant what do you have for us this week what would you like to recommend um well i've only seen one movie since we did the show last week would you recommend it i yeah i guess so but everyone's seen it it's the original top gun because you taught me what the word jingoistic meant uh-huh and so i wanted to see oh it is very sort of xenophobic and exclusionary and there's one uh black guy that is the replacement for goose that he yells at so yeah uh i mean it's a classic uh well let me ask you this about it because i i've seen it again recently under the lens of you know watching it with an audience and i do what we call a Benson movie interruption where we

sit there and just make comments during it. It makes movies that are perfectly fine seem kind of terrible because there's just so much you can make fun of when watching a movie like that, especially in the case of this one. The homoerotica is off the charts and not to mention the passion for the, you know, the like homoerotica is off the charts. And not, and not to mention the, the passion for just the American idea of killing the other, you know? So, so it's just a very, it's very macho, but at the same time, you know, it's like most gay bars probably play the volleyball scene in montages that

played, you know, on the TV screen. Yeah. I did not remember that and it it's it's they're very oily yes they are they are very oily you were right about that but i didn't think val kilmer was so bad so like he peeled off early and it you know caused a wind tunnel but i don't know can you imagine being suddenly serenaded by that song by a bunch of fucking sailors in a bar and you're sitting there by yourself oh the worst it's a nightmare the worst so would i recommend it i don't know here's what happened pageant i haven't seen it yet but by all evidence on the table

top gun maverick right has taken all of those things out of the movie yeah apparently it's great and even given more agency to the woman who plays his romantic interests and got her more in the ballpark age-wise than than most Tom Cruise movies. Correct. And, uh, and everybody says it's the best movie they've ever seen. Yeah. People are saying it's way better than the original Top Gun. So I wanted to watch Top Gun because I just didn't remember it after we did Doug loves movies last week. I was like, I really should see that. I don't even remember. I don't remember this volleyball scene.

Now I'll never forget it but yeah and they also hit i've heard they replaced all the volleyball scenes with uh prostatism doors and everything like that but you know you got to see them before and after face so that's what i heard that they did in top gun maverick this is the right age range the navy thing it's just it's all a bunch of you know it's maverick is It's the right age range. The Navy thing. Maverick is teaching a whole new crop of young studs. It's just a whole new... I think it's probably more

racially diverse. I think they just did everything right, but I'm still wondering why I'm going to be concerned about whether or not Tom Cruise lives or dies, you know, as a dramatic structure. Cause I thought I found it. I found Maverick very unlikable in the first movie.

Well, he's not going to die now. Isn't it the highest grossing movie for a weekend ever? I'm saying the movie doesn't have any suspense because Tom Cruise isn't going to die. And if he does, I don't care. Oh, whereas in the first film, in the first film, it is a gut punch when Goose dies. Yes, because Goose is the only joy and normalcy in that film. He's the only person playing a real flesh and bones character.

And he's got a young Meg Ryan as his wife is like. Insanely hot for him for some reason. She's super into being married with him. They have like a super baby. They're the Incredibles. And then he dies and then we have another hour of movie to go. You're not worried about that for Maverick. Top Gun 2. That's what I'm saying. Nobody's going to die of interest in Maverick. And also there's going to be no. I heard nothing.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I heard the enemy is Iceland. Like, I feel like they made up a conflict with a place that we wouldn't have a conflict. We would never have a fight with. Right. Yeah.

I swear. I swear that's why I'm trying not to read about the movie because I do want to see it. You know, I want to go into a cold, but also I'm going to go into a very cold apparently because Iceland, although Iceland is green and green. Iceland is green. Yeah, I go see that movie in the movie theater. And it turns out that Iceland is the bad guy. I'm going to I'm going to say out loud, get the fuck out of here and leave.

fuck out of here and leave. Throw out my popcorn and protest and apologize to the guy going out. I just feel like it's going to be another one of those things where I'm going to be really, I'm going to be on the wrong side of it because everybody loves it so much. I think talking shit about it, it's not going to go over well, but you know, I will be honest once I see it. I don't see it. So, John, what do you think from all that discussion? What do you think you'd like to recommend to people to watch?

Sincerely, everywhere, all at once. Oh, my goodness. That keeps coming up. It's coming up. I still haven't seen it. I just I just think it's absolutely unbelievable. Michelle Yeoh is so fantastic. Yeah.

And she's a wonderful actress. She's like really, really wonderful. And she does everything in this film. It was originally for, it was originally written for Jackie Chan and he turned it down and they rewrote it for her. And it's really, which makes it better on so many. Oh my God.

Totally. Totally makes it better on so many levels. Oh my God, totally. Totally. Makes it so much better. You still got Jackie Chan in there because that's what Ki Hai Kwan is doing. Yes, exactly. And he's amazing. And doing it brilliantly. He's got like three different personalities in that movie. We haven't seen him act in shit since he was a kid.

I know. And Jamie Lee Curtis. Holy shit. Unbelievable. So good. So good. And you just got, holy shit. Unbelievable. So good. So good. And you just got to see it. And the premise is incredible.

You'll get lost for a second, and then all of a sudden you'll go, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And it just blows your mind. It's so good. It's like seeing the first Matrix. You're like, it's a little foggy. But, you know, once it comes together, it's still foggy, matrix like you're like it's a little foggy but you know once it

comes together it's still foggy but in a really fun way but it is so good it is so good that's that's what yeah you gotta go check that out I can't wait check it out yeah in theaters now like well one of those movies that keeps staying in theaters because the word of mouth has been so good like you know it didn't

come out of the gate as strongly as it should have and but it's so good yeah has been so good. It didn't come out of the gate as strongly as it should have. But it's so good. It's so good. Tommy? Hey. I saw another theater movie. I saw The Northman. I really liked

The Northman. Oh my goodness. The fucking Northman. What is it? It's what Skarsgård, Stellan Skarsgård plays. Alex Skarsgård Stellan Skarsgård plays. Alex Skarsgård. Yeah, not Alexander, not the dad. Not the elder Skarsgård. Not to be confused with

what's the other one is Peter Skarsgård. Or the Sklar brothers. Yeah, there's so many. Sklars. Anything. I mean, Norway's sars guard or the sklar brothers yeah yeah there's so many tricky ones anything i mean norwegian norway's got some tricky so anyway he stars as the northman and it's a viking movie pageant oh from the man behind the witch and the lighthouse. Two of the most beloved, yeah, the most beloved creepy-ass movies of all time. Oh, they're scary? He's got such a following.

They're creepy, not scary, really. They're creepy. They show you things you don't necessarily want to see, but it's still compelling, and he captures time and place very well, and on a smaller budget with The Witch, and then a little more with The Lighthouse.. But then now with a lot of money, what he's done is not only capture a time and place and the sets are amazing

and like the production design is incredible, but it's also insanely violent. It is just, there are scenes of nonstop graphic mayhem where this Northman, he's a, just a murdering machine. He's John wick of the Viking times. And it, you know, if you like that sort of thing, it's amazing. And if you don't, it's going to be a rough ride. And Nicole Kidman's really good in it. Yeah. She's really good. It's got a really good cast.

And they all just really commit themselves. Like his first movie, the witch, everyone was pretty much unknown, the actors. So it almost felt like a documentary about, you know, horrible, you know, women being burned at the stake times. And then lighthouse was black and white. The photography is like, you know, beautiful in some moments and ugly and others. And it's got only Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe together in a light. Oh, geez. So, yeah. So you can already imagine.

That sounds exhausting. It is, but that's how I feel about his movies is I, while I'm watching them, it's not the time of my life, but it's something I'll be talking about for the rest of my life. They make an impression. The Northman is just what happens when you give somebody without sensibility a ton of money. He spent a lot of money on being able to rip limbs off of people and have blood splatter

everywhere and look realistic. It's not like over the top, really. Okay, these are great recommendations, and we've got to get to the game portion of the show. Actually, we're right on schedule. This is good.

Got a lot of quick talkers on the show today, and we'll be right back. We're back and I want to play a game. Doug loves movies. Oh, he has for those just joining us, as I like to point out sometimes on a podcast where people rarely, I guess if someone fast forwards through

the uh recommendations part like i'm sure some people don't want to hear from my guests or me about you know what they recommend uh at any given point in time you know like some people don't seek out movies that way but for those who do i think it's informative and fun hello But for those who do, I think it's informative and fun. Hello? Everybody left. Oh, my God. Those commercials were too much to bear.

Is there nothing this show won't sell or jam down our throats? Oh my God. I need to, I need a beverage after that. I got quite cotton mouth speech gave me cotton mouth. We're going to play a new game that I just made up. It's super fun. You ready, Tommy? I'm ready. Hey, let me ask you this, especially with a couple of professional voice actors in the crew today. Has anybody seen the Bob's Burgers movie?

No. I haven't. I have not. Tommy? No, not yet. Perfect. All right. So we're going to play a game called which belcher belched it i saw the bobs burgers movie okay i loved it so let's play a game involving some of its beloved

characters i'll say a quote from the bobs burgers movie and you tell me if you think it was said by which one of the three children, Louise, Jean or Tina. For anyone who's maybe confused about which is which, Louise wears the rabbit ears and is voiced by Kirsten Shaw. And Jean is the round little boy voiced by Eugene Merman and Tina is the girl, you know, just teetering on the edge of teenagerhood and full of her head is full of boys. And she is voiced by an adult man named Dan Mintz. Stellan Skarsgård. Of any fun.

It's very funny comedian whose delivery on stage is just like Tina, that character is the same. So if you close your eyes, you can imagine it's Tina saying his adult jokes. All right. Does everybody understand the premise? Yes. Yes. All right.

We'll start with Paget. If she misses, then John gets a shot. And if he misses, then Tommy gets what I call the gimme point, because you only have to name the third one that need the other two guests. But each time somebody gets a point, the next round starts with the next player. So everybody gets a chance. Here's the first round. Padgett? Yes.

Who said babies come out of holes, they don't go into them? Gene. That was fast. Why do you think it's Gene? Boy. The boy would say that? Yes. The boy would say babies come out of holes, they don't go into them? That's my guess. That is incorrect. That is incorrect. I probably shouldn't have asked

follow-up questions. It might have helped your competitors. John? It's the oldest. It's the youngest sister. The youngest. You're saying it's Louise? It's Louise, yeah. With the bunny ears? Yes. And the sassy ears. Yes. And the

just sassy attitude. Yes. That is correct. Hey, wow. John, you did it. You're on the board. You've got a point. This next one starts with Tommy. Oh, I should say, just

because these are going to be out of context. If I can remember the context, I'll tell everybody. Babies come come out of holes they don't go into them or because she's uh everybody's teasing her calling her a baby because she continues to wear those rabbit ears all the time and they keep calling her a baby and uh she's um uh someone suggests that she climbed into the sinkhole that's developed in front of the burger shop. And she's, that's why she says, babies come out of holes and they'll go into them. I don't think I'm going to be able to come up with the context of this next

one. Tommy, you get to go first. Which one? Louise Jean or Tina said, everyone be less moist that feels like something i can picture eugene merman yelling so i'm gonna say gene you could picture him yelling here because that's like his that's his line readings all the time gene is always yelling and it's generally hilarious yes uh so that's who you're going with. Is Gene for everyone be less moist? Yes.

That is correct. All right. Tommy is also on the board. And I think that's when they get – I think it's too much of a spoiler to say why he says everyone be less moist, so I'm not going to get into it. Round three starts with Padgett. If you get this one, Padgett, you will force a three-way tie

and a fourth tie-breaking round. If you don't get it, this is John or Tommy's game. Yep. Which one said, son of a butt? Is it Louise, Jean, or Tina? Tina. You're in trouble with Tina.

Why do you pick Tina? Why? Yeah, you have a reason? Is it because Jean and Louise have already been answers? A little bit. Yeah, is that what you're doing? You're trying to play the game?

You're trying to rig the system? Trying to use the system. Because it hasn't come up yet? Trying to use the system for me. Yeah, and it worked. That is correct. We have a three-way tie. Terribly exciting.

But John gets to go first. So he has decided breaking the tie and winning the game by just telling me which of these characters, Louise, Jean, or Tina, said wham, bam,

goodbye, clam. That's Tina. You think Tina said wham, bam, goodbye clam? Actually, wait a minute. Okay. I can wait about 40 seconds. Oh, shit. That sounds like

something either a boy would say or an oldest. Yeah. Shit. You've narrowed it down to Gene or Tina? I've narrowed it down to Gene or Tina. I'm going to go

with my first instinct. I'm going to go with Tina. You're sticking with Tina? Yeah. Well, you know what they say about first instincts, John? They say trust them. It is Tina. It's so fun to hear somebody trying to talk themselves out of the correct answer. It's delicious suspense.

But John, you won that game. It's been a minute since you've been on Douglas movies. So I need to warn you that the only thing you won is that you get to go first in our next game, but there is a, it does give you a advantage that I'll explain. That's a, that's a good, that's a good thing. I'll take it. All right. And then, you know, and then of course, there's no prizes at the end of the show either, other than, uh, you get to come back on the show again. So basically it's like, if I hired you to work and if you did a good job, I would have you come back and do more of that work and pay you for none of it. Right. That's what's going on here. All right.

So we got to go to a commercial break and we'll be right back after these messages. We are back and we were talking during the break and we all decided that we are having the most wonderful time on this Sunday afternoon. We are. We are. It's so much fun. It's so much fun.

You're all going to love this next game so much. It's a little, it's turned out, it's a little more violent than I would like, but for some reason, just when I'm trying to think of silly things, my head goes to violence. I guess it's just, you know, you just sort of grown up on it. I was speaking of cartoons, cartoon violence, you know, like, you know, you see a cartoon characters really give it to each other all the time. So it just sort of becomes part of your DNA that it's hilarious.

Like this fucking, you know, the clip show, the funniest America's funniest home videos is still going strong. You know, I mean, it's not a huge hit anymore, but it's still on all the time. Sure.

And it's still just, if you, if you just take a second, watch it just like when you're going through social media, people falling down can be pretty funny as like, you know, I just hate the ones where it looks like they get, you know,

hurt very badly, but you know, I just hate the ones where it looks like they get, you know, hurt very badly. But, you know, then that's is that some sort of, you know, am I attaching a stigma to people who get more fucked up? I don't know. It's human behavior. I mean, we yeah, I burned my leg. I don't see somebody get up after a hilarious fall. You want to see him stand right back up. I want to see people face plant on really soft shit. It's like I want them to have like, you know, yeah, they're there.

You know, they, you know, rearrange their spine, but they're going to get up because it was all soft. Yeah, I like I like a like uh i would never want to deal with one especially at this point but a ball pit is fun to watch people fly into because it's you know you know they're not gonna not gonna get hurt at all but it would feel still feel weird i would think i don't know if it'd feel like good um belly flops belly flops into a it's also the best thing to watch on an airplane when you haven't bought a headset because their sound effects are never really very good. You just want the video component. Right, yeah. And you know, the copy that they write

for the host to say, you know, if he's not doing his dance from the old Fresh Prince show, I'm out. Alright, so, sorry, Alfonso Ribeiro. He's a good game show host, I think. I think he's a good host. All right. He's a tap dance kid.

Exactly. Exactly. We love Alfonso Ribeiro. All right. So, I love him so much I'm probably over pronouncing his name. The game we're going to play, John DiMaggio, you get to go first. It's something I call filmily feud.

If we were the kind of show where the games had little theme songs, you'd hear that and we'd be off to the races. It's just like family feud, but it's questions semi-related And we'd be off to the races. It's just like Family Feud, but it's questions semi-related to film. Again, I look at these and go, I don't know if these are film questions or not, but

they do involve actors and actresses and movies. So yes, okay, we're going to call these film questions. What I would do is I would do much like the show Family Feud, I would go out and poll people. And when I got more than 100 responses, I'd write down the percentages and then erase them from social media in case any of you were traipsing around any of my accounts.

And then just to keep it fair, you know, because nobody would cheat on purpose, but sometimes you can't help notice stuff. So that being said, since he won the first game, John gets to go first in the first round. If it comes to the point of a tiebreaker, he'll get to go first there. So that's where it, that's what really worked out for pageant last week is we were playing a similar game where getting to go first in that tiebreaker got her the win.

Yeah. So you're in the old cat bird seat as they say, John, but I wish they'd stop saying it because cats should be birds alone. Tommy, does all that make sense to you? Yes, it does. The whole catbird thing. Yeah. Okay. Nice. For each of these first three questions, I asked something and then supplied four answers.

That's one twist. I'm telling you, I just gave them answers to choose from. And so I will read them all to you, John, and the question and you get the first choice of which one you think got the highest percentage. And then whatever percentage they got is what goes on the scoreboard under your name.

And then from the remaining three, Tommy gets to pick, and from the remaining two, Padgett gets to choose. Okay. You'll each get a chance to go first once, so it's really fair, but also very random. Alright. Here's the the question out of these 59 year old actors which one would win in a knife fight would it be tom cruise bob odenkirk wesley Snipes, or Larry the Cable Guy?

They're all 59 years old. They're all still active in action films. Maybe one of them's in inaction films. I would say straight off the bat. Can I say one thing before you answer? What? So that everybody gets to hear it before they all guess. Okay. before you answer what so that everybody gets to hear it before they all guess okay it's important to remember the behavior of individuals on twitter yeah when given a poll on twitter you can't expect

people to answer with some sort of sincerity and they have their biases yes stop it biases. Yes. Stop it. Yeah. So it's really, really tricky to figure out. But go ahead. Who do you think of those four? Do you want me to repeat them? No. Which one do you think? I think the actor that actually played the role of a guy named Blade would get the most votes. would get the most votes. Oh, I see, because it's a knife fight. I see. I would go with martial artist Wesley Snipes.

So you'd go differently if I'd have written a question out differently, like a fist fight where you'd go on somebody else. Fist fight, I would still go with Wesley Snipes. Yeah. I'd still go with Wesley Snipes. Okay. All right. So, Tommy,

of the remaining three, Tommy Cruz, Bobby Odenkirk, or Lawrence the Cable Guy? So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to kind of use the logic of what you're saying about these internet polls. I'm going to think maybe there's some trolls getting in on these polls and they're going to vote in Larry the Knife

Guy, as they call him. Okay. Do they call him that? Larry knife fight is what really goes by these days. Oh, Larry knife fight? Yeah, but he's not getting as much attention for some reason. Larry Bowie? Yeah.

Or Bowie? Is it a Bowie knife or a Bowie knife? A Bowie knife or a Bowie knife because nobody's ever gotten that straight wow as i mentioned jeopardy would accept both i mentioned they're both acceptable you know i mean yes all right uh pageant you're left with the scraps you're just left with two 59 year old white dudes who aren't who aren aren't known for their, did you have, did you see Bob Odenkirk in the film? Nobody.

That's why I thought of, I did. I did. And, and he's outstanding. He's like him as a person. But I think people would say, I think people will still consider Odenkirk too funny and too cerebral.

And they will go, they would go with Tom Cruise also knowing that he had a heart attack during the last season of Let's Call Saul better call Saul let's call somebody call what is it why aren't you calling Saul yeah get get Saul on the would you please call Saul Saul online one. Saul is calling. Are you answering? Sorry. Okay.

So I think they would go with, I think they would go. They'll go with Saul. Why not Saul? I don't know. Okay. I forgot what's happening, but it's the having fun is the important part. No, we have, I forgot what's happening, but having fun is the important part.

I have your scores. Would you like to hear how this shakes out? There's a guy on the phone named Saul. Yes, please. Why aren't you calling Saul? Somebody should have called Saul.

You know what that voice reminds you of? The guy that used to be on television until like 2 o'clock in the morning. Why are you up this late? Are you high? Are you drunk? You got to work in the morning? Is it Chris Christie? Jesus Christ. Hi, I'm former governor in New Jersey.

Chris Christie. No, anyway. Somebody should have called Saul. No, no. If somebody have called Saul on this one. If somebody had called Saul, they would have gotten more points than somebody else because he did come in third in this poll. Oh, shoot.

I'll start at the bottom. I'll start with the bad news. Only 6% went with Larry the Cable Guy. Larry the Knife Guy got nothing? Larry the Knife Guy. The word just is not out on his life skills yet, even though he's out there day and night, just cutting things up. And then 24% went to our friend Bob Odenkirk.

And then Tom Cruise got 27% of the vote. So that's 27% under Padgett's name. And, you know, if you can do the math, as they say, that leaves 43% for Wesley Snipes. John, you're now in the lead with 43% or 43 points.

Wow, that is wild stuff. Yes. Wesley Snipes. But Tommy gets to go first. Tax evader. Have you heard of him? gets to go first. Taxi Raider. I've got a hill to climb here. Tommy is first in this next one. So whatever you do, don't cut off your flossing. Somebody call Tommy.

Will you please? Tommy, here's the question I ask. I had knife fights on my mind. I started thinking about what a macho, dumbass question that was. It's all about the patriarchy and how they can beat each other up. And also, I didn't say what they would be up against in a knife fight. I said, who would win in a knife fight? I said, four names.

You don't even know what they're fighting. I don't care. Is win in a knife fight? I have four names. You don't even know what they're fighting. I don't care. Wesley Snipes. Is it just a round delay? All four of them are all just fighting? I'm going to say Wesley Snipes for the next question. So I don't even care. Okay, there's no right inroads.

Hopefully he's one of the options. Okay, I'm sorry. So I went with a softer, gentler question. I said, who would win in a spoon fight? gentler question. I said, who would win in a spoon fight? And the options I gave were Ariana Grande,

Gwyneth Paltrow, Martha Stewart, or Oprah Winfrey. So I'm going to go right off the bat with Martha Stewart. She probably was in a couple spoon fights in prison, so she knows what she's doing, and that's my choice. I don't think she'd settle for

a spoon. I think she'd turn a spoon into a knife. She's crafting. Yeah, that's where I'm at with her. All right. So you're taking Martha off the board. Paget, that leaves Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop, or Ariana Grande, the popular pop singer, or Oprah Winfrey, who is an anointer of gods. I think it's Oprah Winfrey. I think it's definitely Martha Stewart,

but the next best number will be Oprah Winfrey. That's the trouble with these games. It's like, you know, sometimes you get boxed out. There's nothing you can do but hope for the best. But we'll see what happens when John chooses between Ariana or Gwyneth. You know, Ariana Grande is feisty. And she's tiny, but she can listen. If she dated Pete Davidson, then that means she can take it.

So listen, I'm saying that she's working a spoon. I'm saying she's working a spoon better than better than what uh what's in the box come on what's in the box yeah but i'm going so do you think anyone that that answered this poll took that much time to think about it no they didn't i've had way too much time to think about this because i'm going third you put a lot of thought into it yeah i mean i got no other choice all right well all right right well i we'll see we'll see whether your choice is right or not right now when i tell you when i spill the information that gwyneth paltrow did indeed get the smallest amount of the vote yes with a mere five percent dodge that bullet yeah yeah so people are just like they don't trust how she'd be with

spoons and you know i bet you she can't play spoons either no i bet she can't can't fight with them and also does not know how to put two together and make a funny sound on her uh you don't really hit it on your knee right you hit it like just above the knee yeah and it's two of them yeah you take two spoons you you put them together in an unspoon like manner they don't get they don't get to spoon yes i feel like dimaggio could do that can you do that i wish i could i can't i feel like that oh i know it seems like your instrument i it seems like i should be able to play spoons and yeah harp. Yeah, yeah. I dare anybody who has two spoons. Anybody with two

spoons, I defy you to not go ahead and go get those spoons when this is over or maybe even pause it and just go get two spoons and experience the sensation of the weird percussion you can make by slapping it between your hand and your leg. Can you do it, Doug?

You have to throw in an occasional yee-haw. What? I think so, because they also used to, and maybe they still do, like in music stores or something. I'm not a musicologist, but they used to just attach two spoons together or put rubber

bands around them or something, so you didn't even have to hold them together. They'd be just together, and then you just you know smack them Soundgarden had that song Spoonman guy played spoons yeah a guy they played spoons like all over his body and you know because you could you could pretty much

you know hit any part of your body and can figure out how to make different sounds with different more hollow or more full areas you know? Okay. It's always an education here at Doug loves. I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

Who came in third? I'll tell you right now who came in third. And that is a little Ariana Grande. Yeah, okay. With a mere 10% of the vote. She got 10% of the vote and 90% of the parts.

And our pal Oprah Winfrey, and I like saying things like that. None of us even met her, right? A friend of the show. Friend of the show, Oprah Winfrey. I like saying things like that. Our fellow Winfrey. None of us even met her, right? A friend of the show. Friend of the show, Oprah Winfrey. Frequent guest, Oprah Winfrey.

Those shows were behind the paywall, so don't worry about it. Executive producer, Oprah Winfrey. Yeah. Our producer of the show. God, we couldn't have done this. 15 years, we couldn't have done it without Oprah. Thank you to everyone at Harpo. Oprah Winfrey

got 20%. God damn it. What the fuck? That's bullshit. Martha Stewart got 75%. That's bullshit. You're close, but thanks for trying. 65%.

All right. I'm back in it. Yeah. No, you're more than back in it. You're in the fucking lead. I was down to lead with 71. Bullshit. Sean has 53. Padgett has 47. This is exciting. This is exactly

how this should be going. Because it's going to be the winner is just going to be within 10, I think, points of each other is how this is going to shake out. That's my prediction. All right. So now, I don't know where I just, my mind

really started going off in a weird direction after those first two stupid questions. And Padgett gets to go first on this run. I wrote down best at plunging a toilet. Okay. Right?

So you think celebrities, you already start to think, well, they're not going to be great at it because they probably have people that do that for them. Or they certainly have maybe done it earlier in their lives, but now they're just over it. They don't plunge

their own shit. Who do you name? Who are you going to name? Here are your options, Padgett. Dame Judi Dench, Dame Helen Mirren, Dame Maggie Smith, or Sir Ian McKellen.

I'm going to go with Helen Mirren. Helen Mir mirren you're taking lunch well she has a home with her husband in new orleans that is uh they bought it and they fixed it up so i think she has more recently plunged a toilet interesting i mean you got you got receipts on that one. Well, it was an article and they recently fixed up a home. Well, 20 years ago, but that's recent enough for a day for anyone knighted. Right. Because when you're putting together a home, the first thing you have to do is plunge that toilet. There's so much crap in that toilet from when you build it from the ground up. crap in that toilet from when you build it from the ground up.

I think she's the people's dame. I don't think anyone thinks Maggie Smith is plunging a toilet. Okay. All right. I should be quiet. Gentlemen, what are your guesses? You can't help them out too much with their

opinions. I'll shut up. John? This is a tough one, man. This is a really tough tough one i think it is how quickly you look at listen if you look at judy dench now you're like well but if you thought about her 10 years ago and before you'd be like oh shit she's definitely the toilet yeah definitely plunging the toilet. But then again, Sir Ian seems like he is not averse to taking care of business when it comes to, you know, this is a, this is actually tough. And, you know, and, uh,

and what's her face who used to do stuff with Carol Burnett? What's her name? Um, yeah. How funny would it be? It would be so funny to see Magneto pledging his toilet by shooting electricity from his hands into the crapper.

Wow. I'm going to go with Ian McKellen. Okay. Ian McKellen. It's your decision. Wow. I didn't say it's your funeral All right. It's your decision. Wow. All right. What do you got to do?

I didn't say it's your funeral. I said it's your decision. That's wow. There's a big difference. Jesus. Tommy. You know, Doug, there's an old saying in show business. When there's a stench, you call dench. Wow.

Wow. That. Wow. Five, eight, eight eight eight eight two hundred that's serious i'm glad there isn't an actor's last name that rhymes with toilet but we all agree maggie smith has not plunged since the 70s. Yeah, that's yeah, I feel exactly the same way. And I love her. 100%. Yeah, she hasn't yet since 1977. But yeah,

she was just like, I'm paying somebody. She made California Sweet with Michael Caine and she said never again. That's it. That's over. Because Michael Caine took a large dump. She had to plunge it. That's it. That's over. Because Michael K. Michael Caine took a large dump. She had to plunge it. Not happy about it.

Done. All right. So you went with Dench. Did you saw me? Yes. That's the bottom line. That's the bottom line. Yes's the bottom line. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Numbers. Oh, my God.

Somebody called Judy. Somebody called. Somebody called Judy, please. That guy came back for no reason at all. This is such an exciting finish, everybody. I can't believe it. What is it? What is it everybody. I can't believe it. What is it? What is it?

You're going to love it. Everybody was right about Maggie Smith. Yes. Yeah. She got a mere 8% of the vote. That's high. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw her. uh yeah i i saw i thought i saw an episode of uh down abby where she had to abdicate the toilet but i guess that isn't the same thing um also coming up right behind baggy in this poll was in fact Sir Ian McKellen with 26% of the vote. So it's nice to see two ladies beating out a man in a wheelchair. So John, that brings you to a total of 79 points.

Coming in second place in the poll was a Dame. So that's dispensable saying Dame again because they're all Dames and they're left. Dame Helen Mirren. What? Pardon me. Pardon me. I screwed this up.

You were right to say what? Because Dame Judi Dench came. Number two. Wait, this is like Moonlight La La Land. You can't just look back. It's so close, though. It's so close. Oh, are they really close? Are they neck and neck?

Steve Harvey at the Miss Universe contest? What's going on here? Dench, about 31%. And Dame, you can spell the stench. You can smell the stench. But Mirren wins the mirror ball because Helen Mirren got 35

percent of the vote. Wow. But the 35 on Padgett's score of 47 brings her to 72. But the 31 that Tommy just got in addition to his 71 previous points brings him to 102. John's finish is 79.

Tommy McNamara, you are our winner today. Congratulations. You did it. You did it, Tommy. Yes, I won. Yes. Yeah, Tommy, you did it. Good job, Tommy.

Good job, Tommy. And that means, Tommy, you get to promote yourself first. Go ahead and do your plugs, sir. Okay, cool. I've got an album you can check out on a special thing records called Who's Tommy? And if you're in New York, I'll be

co-headlining Stand Up New York on June 22nd. All right. Nice. Stand Up New York. I started comedy there. Nice. Band of New York. I started comedy there. That was one of the clubs that I started at. Oh, that's awesome. Wow. Jesus. There's a

great pizza place right around the corner. I'll have to check that out. I'm wondering. Stand up New York. I love it. Hey, you know who might know if it's still there? Who? Saul, ring him up.

It's the pizza place still there in the Upper East. Right on Broadway. Like 75th Street. Hey, Tommy, can you come back next week? Same bat time, same bat Zoom call i think that we'll be able to i have to i'll have to get back to you over email i'm gonna be i'm gonna mark you down for a maybe then yeah i'm a terrific job today yeah you did a great job today very nice to have you on the show and you'll be back regardless but as the ongoing champion you do have the option to come back next week.

But also, I like leaving people in suspense as to whether or not you will. Padgett Brewster, what a tremendous addition you've been to the show these last few episodes. It was a good run. It was a good run. So much fun. Yes. Doing live episodes in front of an audience over at that place. We did that show that one time.

Dynasty? Dynasty Typewriter. When? Yeah, I'll hit you up with some dates. We'd love to have you out for a live one. I would love to. But what would you like to promote at this time? This, I think June, I want to say June 19th,

the second season of Bird Girl starts on Adult Swim. DiMaggio, are you in it? Bird Girl? No. Are you in Bird Girl at all? No. Why not? That's a problem. Hey, McNamara, are you in it? Not yet, but I haven't gotten a call.

uh also uh uh uh lgbtq thriller horror uh comedy romance movie i did called hypochondriac starring zach via will be in theaters this summer but i don't know when so check it out i'm in it yeah that's still pretty cool it's gonna be in theaters i just don't know when no one's told me sometime this summer people can look it up, figure it out and I don't know what kind of timeline people listen to these on somebody might listen to this a couple months from now it'll be perfect timing they're catching up on the podcast

they're like oh shit that's out now according to this speculation because it's summer that's another thing they keep saying is the summer of Tina to this speculation because it's summer. That's the other thing they keep saying is summer of Tina and summer of Jean. They keep referring on Bob's Burgers movie about it being the summer of their own name, which is a funny thing, especially coming out of a little kid. John DiMaggio.

Thanks. Pleasure. Pleasure to have you back. Second place. I'll take it. Second place is way better than how Paget did. Paget, you had a good run. I did. I had a good run. Yeah, you really did.

I expect big things from you in the upcoming Tournament of Champions. Yeah, you really did. I expect I expect big things from you in the upcoming tournament of champions. Yeah. All right. John, do you have anything you like to plug? Sure. I got doing a couple of episodes of interview with the vampire on AMC. Are you serious? Yeah. that's when they when i think it's coming out in october which oh my god i'm so excited for you that's amazing thank you it's pretty cool uh yeah i'm i yeah a couple episodes of that and uh did a couple episodes of uh perry mason so the next season of perry mason i'll be in jeez um yeah the same mustache

i had an old-timey mustache and it totally worked so you're a cop in both you're a cop both times uh no actually no not a cop thank you um but uh no but it was it was a lot it was a lot of fun but i also uh but futurama is coming around again 2023 on Hulu. We got Disenchantment on Netflix. That stuff is coming out soon. The new stuff for that show. God, what else? No, stop there. That's enough. I already feel like shit.

No, no more. Just stay there. Loud House on Nickelodeon. Stop it. Quit it. It's on Nickelodeon. If you know, got kids with it. Yeah, now it's been a good shit. It's been a good year. God damn it. The mana hustle. People are like, we kind of like your face again. Oh, why do you?

Where have you been with your with your fat face? We want your face over here. Well, I can't believe that the casting director of Interview with a Vampire talks like that. But no no that's what that's in the back of my mind i'm really looking forward to that that's uh i've seen a tease for it on the uh i think it's gonna be a way to make people get amc plus because i think you're gonna uh premiere there and then like you know something like that yeah yeah but it's exciting and it's going to be really really good i mean it's i mean yeah the guy playing uh well the guy playing louie yeah um is uh is a a wonderful actor uh jacob anderson who was uh who was um oh what's his

face in game of thr? The leader. Oh, yes. I don't know. I don't know. Wait, was he Grey Worm? Grey Worm. Yes. Thank you very much. He's playing Louis. He's playing Louis and he's absolutely unbelievable. And the guy playing Lestat's name is Sam Reid and he's

fucking phenomenal. And it's just and Eric fucking Bogosian's in it. Holy shit. He's oh, wow. Yeah, he's the fucking interview. And it's just, and Eric fucking Bogosian's in it. Holy shit. He's yeah. He's the fucking interviewer. It's fucking awesome. All right.

I'll watch it. I'll watch it. But no, but I'm, I'm, I'm just excited to be in that company. So it's well, thank you for, for being here, John. And yeah, come back and, you know, talk about that when it comes out. Cause you say it's like the fall, right? Yeah, totally. Thank you for having me, though. Come back and talk about that when it comes out. Because you say it's like the fall, right? Yeah, totally. It's perfect for fall.

It's going to be awesome. I got Douglovesmovies.com Douglovesmovies.twitter I got another podcast called Wide World of Doug. Check an episode of that out. Lots of people. I actually got to get, Padgett's done it, but

I'd love to have Tommy and John do that show. John, you've just been so busy. I've got all these shows that I want you to do. I've got nothing to do. Give me a call. Now it went cold. Perfect. Thanks again went cold. Perfect.

Thanks again to Tommy Bactamera, John DiMaggio, and Patrick Brewster. And as always, I end every episode with the last line from a movie, and I think this one is super appropriate, and it goes like this. Tell them to let us off this bloody plane. And it goes like this.

Tell them to let us off this bloody plane. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Cause Doug loves movies.