Doug Loves Movies - Pat Wilson, Josh Freese, Brendon Walsh, and Graham Elwood Guest

Episode Date: January 23, 2012

Doug welcomes Weezer members Pat Wilson and Josh Freese and comedians Brendon Walsh and Graham Elwood to the show. (Recorded on the Weezer Cruise on January 22nd, 2012.)See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azepam or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug loves movies! Hey everybody! Hey everybody! My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the Palladium Lounge on Carnival's Destiny Cruise Ship on January 22nd to Oceans 12

as part of the Weezer cruise! Yeah! I'll be your cruise director for the next hour of chat and games about movies. Does anybody here listen to the podcast?

They're all up front. The non-listening fuckers are all up in the balcony. Except for that guy. He's a doer. Yay! Thanks for wearing your robes and your mustaches here on the Weezer Cruise tonight. It's mustache night, so it's always a sexy night

when you see women finally just letting it go and not covering up their mustaches. There's a green one over there. That's pretty sweet. Awesome. Oh, we got a baby in the crowd. That's always great. Babies love podcasts. You probably can't get that thing off of his iPad or his iPhone or whatever he listens to it on.

Do you guys have name tags? Did everybody bring name tags? Oh my God. Not another Justine movie instead of teen movie. I like that. Here we got Richie Rich over here. Is your name Richie or Rich?

This thing is crazy. Let me show everybody this thing. It lights up and it's really charming that we're on a cruise ship right now, and he brought Beyond the Poseidon Adventure poster, and he put his name on there. Before her fate is sealed by the deep, the super liner Poseidon will reveal one last secret. Thomas. He's the last secret. That's a nice one, dude. dude good luck to you let me see yours too Sarah Sarah's my friend from Baltimore

that I met the other night at the yeah if you say so her name tag is her name written across her tits that's the best name tag I've ever seen screw this amazing one that somebody made some effort somebody made a really cool name tag,

and you walk in here, tits. Let's do this. All right, so Sarah has a little bottle with a boat inside of it and little waves and sea. Isn't that beautiful? Nicely done, Sarah. Good luck to you. What else have we got over here

you've got Andrew took a Weezer vinyl copy of which Weezer album is this what was this one called Maladroit and then he just put a piece of paper on it that says his name but he has a W in his name so that he was able to use

the Weezer logo as the W and they will be suing you shortly for that. So look forward to that. And, yeah, thanks, you guys, for bringing the name tags and wearing your robes. I've been walking around the ship all day asking everybody to wear their robes tonight because I thought that would be fun. When I get my camera phone out, I'll take a picture of you guys and, you know, look at it later in my cabin.

Oh, they were beautiful. Of course, I've been talking on the podcast about going on this cruise for months now, and I got to tell you, it has lived up to the hype. Yeah, right? So much fun. The first night I got to see Weezer out on the Lido deck, that was an amazing show out there As we were setting sail

Best show, is that what you said? Okay You have the weirdest mustache of all of us Or you walked into a door She's got a big bloody upper lip And I'm calling it a mustache Also on Friday night I got to see Sebado, Dinosaur Jr.

Right here in the Palladium Lounge Young Frankenstein projected On a big screen under the stars That was really cool, I didn't expect that Before I got here And then of course on Friday night I enjoyed a band called Sleeper Agent Have you guys seen Sleeper Agent?

They're closing it out tonight I'm going to go check that out tonight Oh, and by the way The new Funtimes is here All Funtimes they're closing it out tonight. I'm going to go check that out tonight. Oh, and by the way, the new Fun Times is here. All Fun Times. They slip it under our door every night. It's a nice little,

people probably don't even look at it. I always look at the Fun Times, especially yesterday's because I want to see where on the top 10 things to do on the boat, this podcast is number four. Yeah. After three Weezer things. So I'll take that. It is the Weezer cruise. And then I'll just give you guys a heads up. The fun times for tomorrow says get the fuck off the boat. So look forward to doing that. Look forward to disembarkation

or whatever they call it. Debarkation. Let's see what else I have to say before I bring our amazing guests out here. I think I should just bring them out. Well, let's see what's in the prize bag. Let's check out the prize bag, you guys. I always bring a bag full of stuff

and since we're on the Weezer cruise, I got some amazing Weezer stuff. I got a sailor hat signed by all the members of the band. That is meant for a normal-sized head. Mine is kind of large. So if you have a smaller head, that'll be good. We got a Weezer Blue Album t-shirt.

We got some t-shirts from my comedian buddies who are also going to be coming out here. And a lighter that I found last night. In case you don't have a lighter and you need one. Got some friendship bracelets because we're here to make friends, you guys. And this is like the piece de resistance. A four-album vinyl version of Pinkerton. That is also signed by all the guys in the band. So let's get this going without any further ado.

Let's bring them out here. Two of my buddies and two of my new buddies from Weezer and from the world of stand-up comedy, please help me in welcoming Pat Wilson, Josh Fries, Brendan Walsh, and Graham Elwood. Thank you. That was the worst game of pass the beach ball around I've ever seen. She's like, I'm keeping that shit. I ain't giving that up. She caught it.

She kept it. Write your name on shit. I ain't giving that up. She caught it. She kept it. Write your name on it. It's your name tag. Hey, guys. Leave it there. Why'd you give it up? That was yours to keep. Yeah, yeah.

Hold on to it. Nothing's more, a podcast is really fun when there's a beach ball being slapped around. You don't want people concentrating on what we're saying up here.

You just want to, I gotta hit that, you gotta hit it. Once the beach ball's in the crowd, you gotta hit it. Gotta hit it. You gotta just stand there

waiting for it when you get your chance. So don't break out the Frisbee right now? Josh just took a power drill and stuck it into his beach ball. Anticlimactic. Yeah, bounce that around. Come on, you guys. Throw around the power drill.

That was Graham Elwood's voice. We all know him from his frequent appearances on the podcast. Oh. That's a sad, flat beach ball. Graham Elwood, did you enjoy hosting karaoke here on the boat the other night?

Karaoke, yeah. I had more fun doing bingo earlier today. Bingo was a lot of fun. Bingo! You were great at hosting bingo. It was great. It's almost like I've hosted game shows. It was a lot of fun. Bingo! You were great at hosting Bingo. It was great. It's almost like I've hosted game shows. It was a lot of fun. That was awesome.

Let's go. Let's talk to the guys from Weezer. First of all, Pat, I just have to thank you because I was in a play called The Marijuana Logs. Oh, really? You guys are into that? We toured around

and played in New York for a while. The curtain call every night, we would play Hash Pipe. We would take bows to Hash Pipe, and I never got sick of it. You were drumming on it. Thank you for that. You're welcome. Thank you. That's not really a question. It's just a statement. Thank you.

Just a statement about how much I love you. Let me ask you this, Pat. Weezer songs have been featured on the soundtrack of several movies. Do you have a favorite one? A gentleman in the audience thinks Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen is the answer to that question.

That man is right. Were you in one of their movies? Yes. Thank you. Holy shit. Thank you. There's a porn star from the 70s that's yelling stuff out.

Show him your dick. Were you the guy in the scenic elevator smashing his sausage up against the window while people are trying to watch a football game? Pressing sausage. Pressing ham. Cock elevator. Cock-a-vator.

El press chorizo. So did you have a song in an Ashley and Mary Kate movie? That like New York Minute movie has a Weezer song in it? No. That guy's just crazy. He is a little crazy. What about Mallrats? You got a song in there, right?

I did, yes. Mallrats. That went well. Was that called Samantha, that song? It was. It was Samantha Fox, I believe. That's awesome. That's cool. Now, Josh Fries, if you guys aren't familiar with this guy's career, holy crap. That old awesome. That's cool. Now, Josh Fries, if you guys aren't familiar with this guy's career, holy crap. That old boy.

Perfect Circle, Vandals, Devo, Nine Inch Nails, Guns N' Roses, and now Weezer. Are you ever going to play in a good band? Do you ever think you can hook up? Eventually. I'm hoping so. Can you hook up with some guys with some talent and really take off? Holy shit, man. He needs something to fall back on.

That's amazing. Brendan Walsh, we haven't talked to him yet. Look at that drunk there in the end. The red-faced. Am I not drunk? I am red-faced. I know. Cheap Irish skin.

You don't look like you've been on a boat for three days at all. This is how I look. Apparently you couldn't find the uh the comb and sunscreen store because they have one here on the boat where they just sell combs and sunscreen i did them wrong i put sunscreen in my hair and combed my face and it got all red and messed up in that order so confusing god it. What do you do? All right. Let me ask you guys a question about this particular cruise. Each one of you can answer.

We'll go down the line. We'll start with Pat. Have you tripped and fallen into a lifeboat at any point? I love that story. That's a great story. Oh, I just, you know, I tripped and fell in the lifeboat Graham's explaining it to Josh now that the Italian

captain of that ship that won't be mentioned while we're at sea the captain of that ship Piazzo di Shitto, or whatever his name is, Francesco Shittitucci, his excuse for getting off the boat before everyone else, because the captain's supposed to stay until the end,

his excuse was that he tripped and fell into the lifeboat. That's such a common mistake. Boo! I'm in a lifeboat. Sorry. Suck it. Happens all the time. What are you going to do? But since this is Doug Loves Movies and not Doug Loves Lifeboats. Boat crashes.

Doug Loves Boat Crashes. I was thinking we could just run this thing right up the Mississippi. How far can we get up the Mississippi with this boat? I don't know. it would be like the American Fitzcarraldo I don't get it thanks Graham

it's a great obscure film reference what that is there's that guy again that guy's a big Fitzcarraldo fan that guy's a big Fitzcarraldo fan it's a little more heckling than there usually is. But he seems

cool. He seems like there's a chance he might stop on his own. He might trip into a lifeboat. You don't know what's going to happen. Well, he's sitting right there. He's going to trip and fall in a lifeboat. But I know you guys are on tour. got families the whole deal but uh let's start with pat and uh talk about

have you been to the motion pictures or watch one at home lately i've seen them which one what's the most recent movie you saw if you if you had to name it? Tangled. That's why I said you have kids before I finished the question, because that's what happens to everybody I know with kids. They've seen every Pixar movie and every Disney movie. But Tangled's a pretty good one, though, right? I don't know.

I haven't seen it. It's for children. What do you mean you don't know? You watched it. You were just in the room while it was on. Paul F. Tompkins is in that, I think. Oh, yeah? I think you're right. I think he does a voice in that. Alright, go comb your face. It's getting redder now.

It is. I know. I don't think the stage lights are good for your crazy red face. No, I don't know. I think maybe I'm embarrassed. This is like Willy Wonka. You're going to turn into a big strawberry I'm going to get sucked up a tube Speaking of great movies for children

What about you Josh, have you been to the cinema lately? I can't remember the last time I saw it I've got four kids, so I don't get out of the house Yeah, you don't get out ever, you're on tour with the kids But we were watching, my kids are obsessed, all of them are obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Oh, okay. I thought you were going to say Human Centipede, but that's another good one. Oh, I love Human Centipede. Don't even start with that. He told me all about that. You love it? We'll talk later. I've got some problems with it, though. I would have shot it differently. I would have shot it much different.

That's a whole other podcast. Okay. My kids watch it so much, and it was around Christmas time, and they were watching it extra much, and it was Christmas morning, and my three-year-old girl, all morning, kept on singing.

She's going, This is Halloween. This is Halloween. I'm going, It's actually Christmas morning. But you can keep singing. It's Halloween. Yeah, quit singing that, you dipshit.

Go to your room. Kick her around. Christmas is canceled this year. You dipshit. That's how you talk to your kids. You dipshit. Go to your room and put sunblock in your hair. Brush out your face before you come to dinner, you dipshit.

Brush out your face before you come to dinner, you dipshit. Graham, I know you were just on the podcast recently and repeatedly. But do you have a new motion picture experience that you can share with us? I actually did see Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Oh, I saw that movie. Yes. You did? You took the kids to one movie over the holiday season.

Come on, kids. Hey, kids, who wants to see a brutal anal rape scene? My old boss did the music for it. Trent Reznor. Nice. Boss dropper. You said brutal anal rape? Yeah, yeah. Instead of a gentle anal rape?

Yeah, yeah. Instead of like a gentle anal rape? Sweet anal rape. There's no sweet anal rape. Hush, little baby. Here comes my Fitzcarraldo. The guy didn't mean to anal rape her. He just tripped and fell into the wrong...

Whoa! What the... Slippery when wet! Boom. Bon Jovi. Well, now look where we are. That's what that's codenamed. I'm going to give her a little Bon Jovi. It means slip and accidentally fuck someone in the butthole.

That's the first time anyone said that here in the Palladium Lounge on one of the finest family cruise lines in the world. I mean, so far this boat hasn't hit anything. These guys are good. Except for maybe some choppy waters.

What about you, Brendan? What's your latest cinematic experience? I saw the Dragon Tattoo movie as well, but I also saw a screener of that... What the fuck's it called? Oh yeah, that one. What am I talking to my parents? No, we were talking

about Tree of Life. Terrence Malick's. Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah, Tree of Life, it's very simple. Everything's connected. I got it. We don't need three hours of dinosaurs. There's a lot of magma. Some nice looking stuff.

It's a weird movie. People are into it, though. Some people love it. Has anybody here seen Tree of Life? And you loved it. What's your take? Did you like it? Yeah, they're into it.

Hippies like it. This one girl over here just went, it's fucking weird. She's still talking about Girl with the Dragon Tent. Oh, right. Human centipede. Yeah, what kind of a name is Lisbeth?

I watched Moneyball recently, too, in a hotel. Oh, I like Moneyball. My wife tried to make me watch it. Did you know, little known fact, Moneyball never ends. It just goes on for like three hours. It's about all of baseball. It starts with Abner Doubleday twirling his mustache.

And then Raleigh Fingers. Yeah, and it ends now. A lot of mustache twirling. Thanks. But that was a good movie, Moneyball. That was my next question. We'll start on your end, Brandon. Let's talk about Sideways.

Sideways is a great movie. Why did you bring it up? Sequel. I think I can relate to the alcoholism and the adultery stuff. Yeah. It's got both of those things. I love that movie.

I was honestly a little disappointed by The Descendants because to me, I like Sideways more. But Descendants is good too. You're not going to see that. You have kids. You'll never see it. Brendan?

Yes. Favorite movie of last year? Last year, 2011? Sure. Favorite movie? Go. Super Irony. Super Irony was a few years ago, but thank you. That guy votes for it every year.

Even though no one wants him to vote for anything. He's going to write that down on his ballot in November. Yeah, for the presidential election. Obama, Romney. Super Himey! I wrote it in, dude! Not a wasted vote. in November. Yeah, for the presidential election. Obama, Romney. Super Jaime. I wrote it in, dude. Not a wasted vote. Hey, Pat needs a beer.

Does anybody have a beer for Pat? He's been talking about beer for the last hour. Can someone get Pat a beer? Oh, look at this. The guy, see, this guy's finally useful. Can we get the old boy a bass or something?

What the hell? Shut him up. I don't know, man. This is like... What kind of weird... He's got a bucket. He's got a bucket of beers that are in glasses. I don't want a bucket.

Nice. That is innovative. It's supposed to be a bucket of bottled beers, weirdo. And now he's just leaving. I just came here to give Pat some beer. What? This girl just yelled out, watch out, Pat, it's got the date rape drug in it.

Someone's gonna get a slippery wind wet. I tell you that much. Someone's gonna get their sweater torn. It's worth it. You gotta lose your anal virginity someday, right? Yes. What?

Everyone's like, no. Hey, in international waters, it's all right. You don't have to lose that. You never have to lose that.

No, it's yours to keep, your anal virginity. What was your favorite movie, Graham, last year? I didn't even answer mine.

Yeah, that's how much I cared about your answer. Jen Wilson. I don't even have a good one. Well, Contagion I liked more than I thought I would. Yeah, that's how much I cared about your answer. Jen Wilson. I don't even have a good one. Well, Contagion I liked more than I thought I would. Yeah, it looks like you're coming down with something right now.

Do I look that bad? Well, you know what? I think the red robe, I probably do too. The red robe makes your face look, I mean the white robe makes your red face look even redder. I'm flushed. Yeah, you are. What happens when I drink and get in the sun? Well, that's good that you did both of those things all day today to prepare for this.

What's your favorite movie from last year? You. I don't know. Favorite... Contagion I liked. I can't remember something that blew me away last year. Harry Potter. Harry Potter. I haven't seen... I've never seen a Harry Potter movie ever. Midnight in Paris.

Everyone's suggesting what his favorite movie should be. You might hit on it. It's like, what's your favorite food? Potato chips! Hamburgers! Graham Elwood's turn. He's probably asked you this

three or four times in the last few weeks. I vacillate back and forth, but on this show, I'll say 50-50. I just watched it again, and I really liked it. I really like 50-50. I've never heard of 50-50. I've never heard of half these movies. 50-50 was the Seth Rogen movie,

and Jason Gordon-Levitt, he's got cancer, shaves his head. Very funny. It is strangely uplifting. And very funny, but also definitely sad. Way to go. You guys probably didn't really, like we've already discussed,

have mostly just seen the children's movies. Did you like Girl with the Dragon Tattoo? I did like it. But I've got to be honest, I was expecting a little more. I liked the way it looked. And you loved the music. And I liked the music, of course. But it was good, but it wasn't great.

Are we talking about the one without subtitles? What? This is the one without the subtitles. Yeah, this is the one where they talk in a way where you don't have to read. Like when the first Girl with the Dragon Tattoo came out, I went, if I wanted to read a movie, I'd read the book.

And I don't want to read either. And I'm still holding out on this new movie because people say the same thing you said. It's that it's long. I like it, but there's a lot of hype about it. And it's long, but I did like it. But I'm not dying to see it. Right on. And Pat's favorite, of course, is Tangle.

No, I'm going with Rango. Oh, Rango! Rango! Rango to the tabloid. I yelled that in the bingo hall today. Rango! Rango! Yeah, he walked in and yelled Rango.

Because people were yelling bingo, get it? I thought it was funny when it happened. But I was drunk. As I am now. Shall we play a game or two? Let's do it!

This is like NPR, but better. It's a noisier, more anal-ripe references NPR. That's what we're doing here. We're like Terry Gross. Terry Extra Gross. Terry Disgusting. All things considered. Anal rape.

You have to consider it. If you're considering everything, you've got to throw it in the mix. You've got to consider that. It's everything. You've got to keep it on the table. Squishing a turd through a screen door That's a thing Alright cut off Brandon's mic Just consider it

I'm not saying you gotta make a yes or no I'm just saying consider it Yes this guy went Yes Consider No, I'm just saying considerate. Yes, this guy went, yes! He's going to cover all the bases. Considerate. All right. Let's start with Build a Title.

Eight people that are here love it. I'll walk you through it. Brendan and Graham have played this before, so we'll start down on that end because they know what they're doing, theoretically. We start with a movie title suggested by folks on Twitter. I went on my Twitter account today. It only cost me $79 to go on the Internet for two seconds.

And you have to add a title to the beginning of the end of the original title I give you. These A's are dropped from the beginning of the titles. And there's an example would be if it was Godfather, it would just be, instead of The Godfather, it would just be Godfather. And then you could add to the beginning or the end, so you could go, Oh Godfather. And then you can add to the other end, oh, God, Father of the Bride, et cetera. Got it? Good. All right.

Let's do it. Start with Graham. Marino21 on Twitter suggested Sucker Punch. So, Graham, give me a movie. And if you think of one in the audience, don't yell it out. It's just between these guys up here. I'm going to get you Sucker Punch. Ooh, nicely done.

Boom, boom. All right. Now we go to Brendan. Punch Drunk Love. I'm going to get you Sucker Punch Drunk Love. Nice. Nice. We come around here to Pat.

Wilson. You need a movie that ends... What is it now? You need a movie that ends in I or begins in drunk. Sucker, punch, drunk love. I'm going to get you sucker, punch, drunk love actually. Love actually!

I'm getting a short end here, man. Actually is a tough one. Very exciting. Actually is a tough one. That could be a stopper. And on the other end here, man. Actually, it's a tough one. Very exciting. Actually is a tough one. That could be a stopper. And on the other end, we've got... It's I'm gonna get you sucker punch drunk love.

Actually, so... I'm gonna get you... Get you sucker punch love drunk. Actually, Raiders of the Lost Ark. Okay, so you're out. Better luck in the next round.

And we go to Graham. Thank you. You are a man after my own heart, my friend. I love making up movies, and you didn't even try. You just fucking bam. Anything. I love it. Okay, Graham. That was for Scott.

Something that ends in I or I'm. Because I don't think actually is going to lead to anything. Actually, McBeal. Actually, actually. Actually. Actually. Oh, Lee. Lee. Oh, shit. Lee. Actually Leave Oh leave Oh shit

Leave No they can't, no audience help No audience help And you're almost out of time you pock sucker Leave Extraordinary Gentlemen Actual League of Extraordinary Gentlemen I like it. Wait, you can do that?

Take your pants off. Get where we're going. It's Brendan's turn now, so that's what happens is you get screwed up. Wait, what was it? Gentleman. So you need something that means man. Or gentleman. Oh, man without a face. Nice.

Now we go to Pat. Not a lot of reaction. You gotta sell it. You gotta go fucking get up there and walk it around. You gotta act like you're not gonna come up with anything, even though you thought of it right away. I know how to walk the world. Were you not in the fucking bingo hall? Do you not see the magic that I spun in the goddamn bingo hall?

I'm trying to make my face get redder before I stand up. Man without a face that's red. Seriously, somebody get him some aqua velvet. Just fucking. I'm all right. I'm all right. Okay. It's Pat's turn.

So you just need to Begin with face Do I have to start from the very beginning? No, just say face And then whatever your next move is Yeah That's how it's done Switch faces with the guy

Josh is out this round So it goes to me You'll get back in though So we go to Graham Face officer and a gentleman Bam bam Josh is out this round. So it goes to me? You'll get back in, though. So we go to Graham. Face officer and a gentleman. I'm on a boat. I'm going to edit that out.

Oh. At least we'll know on the boat. Okay, so we're back to man again. Officer and a gentle man. Brendan? Well, lots of things start with man. Yeah, they do. You've got to name one right now. Man witch.

Three, two, one. Man on fire. Yes. Yes. Is that a movie? Man on fire. It is Yes. Is that a movie? Man on fire. It is. Starting to get Del Washington.

Yeah, it's great. He's a CIA guy. Just kills everybody in Columbia or some shit. It's awesome. All right, we're back to Pat. This is a big one. I'm going to get you Sucker Punch Drunk Love. Actual League of just extraordinary gentle men

without a face officer and a gentle man. On fire. On fire. Fire? Walk with me. Fire walk with me. It's really called Twin Peaks Fire Walk with me, but I'm going to give it to you because I love you.

And I do not love Grandma Wood. Go. That's cool. We're back to man again. Every movie ends in man. Oh, me, me, me, me. Sorry. Me, me, me, me. Me, me, myself,

and Irene. That's right. All right. That might be the end. That's right. All right. That might be the end. Irene might be a tough one. We'll give Brendan three seconds to sit there red-faced. Is my face still that red? Irene. No, no, it's better.

You look great. It feels cooler. Wearing a robe under the lights. Irene. Irene. Yeah, what that guy said. Me, myself, and Irene. If you pronounce it Irene,

Irene on me. I think this is good. I think this is a... I don't think Irene is... I think we reached the end of that one. I think Pat Wilson gets the point. All right. Really? Oh, I know. I'm sorry. Graham gets the point. Oh? Oh, I'm sorry. Graham gets the point.

Fuck Jesus. Oh, that's bullshit. I'm with you guys. I'm with you. Graham wanted to take his pants off. Wearing a robe with jeans. Stupid. I like him tight.

I like him tight on my stick. Yeah, we can you guys ready for the Leonard Maltin game? Should we do that? We don't need to play a bunch of rounds of that. That was a really good one. That was fun. How long did it go? Did you read the whole thing?

Yeah, I'm going to get you sucker punch, drunk love, actual league of extraordinary gentle man without a face officer and a gentle man on fire walk with me, myself, and Irene. Yeah. That's pretty good. Put that on a fucking marquee. Put that on your yacht and flip it over. I didn't get to it but another movie that was suggested by someone

named Maure I came up with this riddle inspired by that person's suggestion what's Captain Francesco Schettino you know the guy from the other boat

there's only two boats in the world this one and that other one Shatino. You know, the guy from the other boat. There's only two boats in the world. This one and that other one. What's Captain Francesco Shatino's favorite movie? Boat Trip. Sideways. Sideways. Brandon Walsh, ladies and gentlemen. Check him out on Facebook, you guys.

Good gravy. And I'll be having high blood pressure. Josh Free setting up drunken comedians since 2012. Just now. Right? Because you wouldn't have come up with that if you hadn't said sideways ten minutes ago. Probably. This guy has a good point. He's like,

that's a long time ago. Nobody here remembers that. Alright, let's play the Leonard Maltin game, you guys. Yeah! This is where shit gets real. This is where it gets very serious, because each of you gentlemen, I'd like you to go into the audience

and choose from these amazing things that have been created by people who you would like to play for. I already picked Sarah. Okay, go get Sarah. Brandon's going to play for Sarah and her beautiful chip in a bottle. That Sue's on a thing.

He'll drop and break. Jesus. On a shoe. Nice. Just a bottle of gin. This gentleman has an iPhone. This guy's just holding up whiskey. Nice. Mustaches. This guy's just joining his chest. Who do you want?

Brian. There's a guy with a will work for Weezer sign. Doesn't have his name anywhere on it. So he doesn't understand what a name tag is. That's pretty sweet Oh I like that one Hey We're working for Weezer

This part is especially fun for the listener If you drag it out really long I gotta go with Beyond the Poseidon Adventure I gotta go with Lollipop Thomas Oh Pat's hungry for a big lollipop side adventure that Scott got to run in. Thomas. Thomas. Oh, Pat's hungry for a big lollipop. Mm-hmm.

Where did Josh go? Where's he at? He went deep into the crowd. I just wanted a free mustache. Just wandering around the room. Get those oranges in case we all get scurvy. Why is this girl following you? What's going on with that?

Where does she think she's going? She was about to trip and fall. So who did you... Who did you pick, Josh? That girl? Where'd you get that from? See, they're supposed to be name tags. You're not just supposed to get an item from somebody.

Anybody got 20 bucks? Can I just get 20 bucks? Oh, I get it. Anybody got a protein bar? I'm sorry, my blood sugar's crashing. Josh, just grab that. Oh, you picked the oranges? No, you just bring the name tag up.

Which she doesn't apparently have one. She just has a mustache. But let's get her name. What's her name? Sorry, oranges. Jennifer. But thanks for bringing it. Hang on to those oranges, because if this thing flips and scurvy kicks in... Jennifer, okay. So we just have to remember that you're playing for Jennifer. But thanks for bringing... Hang on to those oranges, because if this thing flips and scurvy kicks in...

Jennifer. Okay, so we just have to remember that you're playing for Jennifer. Can you do that? What's the name on the lollipop there, Pat? Hollypop. Hollypop. Oh, that's cute.

It's so adorable. All right. So we got a few drinks. I don't know how we're going to do it. Hey, where are you going with that bucket? I don't want a bucket. I don't want a bucket. I ordered a beer the other day from a guy.

And he tried to sell me a bucket. I was like, I don't want the bucket. That's rubbing alcohol. Try more talking at the same time, you guys. Let's all talk at the same time from now on. What's that really weird what you're saying? Try more talking at the same time, you guys. Let's all talk at the same time from now on. I ain't gonna get anyone here. What's that? Really weird what you're saying?

Let's all say our social security numbers at the same time. He's got a beer right here, but thank you. Okay, it's Foster's. Yeah! Oh, no, it's a Bud... It's a Bud... Okay. Slippery red wine. All these light beers should add up to one beer.

Loud mouth soup. All right, so since Graham won that exciting round of building title. First of all, everyone who made a name tag, give everyone a round of applause. That's very cool you guys do that. Yeah, that's very cool. And I just feel bad you can't thank everybody. Do you have more to say? No, everybody who didn't applaud, give the people who applauded a round of applause.

How about electricity, you you guys Making this show bright I love it Alright well we do have a hard out On this show So let's No more sidebars Oh look he's got his mustache on That looks awesome

How that elephant got in your pajamas, you'll never know. Put it on. I'm feeling good. Does Graham put on a mustache, too? Yeah, I will. Relax. Put it on. Take your time.

Put it on. You're first, Graham. All right. You get to pick a category. You get to choose between, and again, audience members, if you think you know it, don't yell out. It's just between these people up on stage who are playing for, Brendan's playing for Sarah. Graham's playing for Thomas.

Jennifer Mustache. Josh is playing for Jennifer. And Pat is playing for Holly Pop to win this amazing bag of prizes. And Graham, you get to pick a category. Would you like not chipmunks that's movies with talking animals that are not chipmunks or I'm inside you which is no not it's not girl with a dragon tattoo it's it's it's body switch movies movies where two characters switch bodies.

Oh. Or... I love those movies. Or this is a fun category, Roadhouse. It's a classic movie, Roadhouse, of course. Love it.

Yes. But the category Roadhouse means movies that have an RV. Because that is a road house. RV. Oh, wow. Holy shit. Yeah.

I'm going to go with, I think in honor of Patrick Swayze, I will go Roadhouse. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I'm crazy for Swayze. Alright, this movie features a, some sort

of, I have to repeat that one, but he said you're crazy. You're crazy. You're crazy for Swayze. I'm tired. Sean Everett. All right, Leonard Maltin.

You got to listen to the clues, guys. That's a huge part of this. All right, here we go. Leonard Maltin gives this movie two and a half stars. It's from the year 1993. It's got some sort of RV in it. He calls it sporadically tense and compet half stars. It's from the year 1993. It's got some sort of RV in it. He calls it sporadically tense and competently directed.

And surprisingly absorbing. But then he only gave it two and a half stars. 93? Yeah, that's the year. And there are, one, two, three, four, five, six names listed in the cast. How many names do you think you get?

If you answer wrong, do you get negative points? No, no, you don't get penalized for answering wrong. But you definitely want to make the person next to you answer it or you do it correctly. So if you don't think you can do it, just when it's your turn, say name that movie. Wow. So we'll start with Graham with six names. Shit. I want to go six names. Yeah, go with Graham with six names. Shit. I want to go six

names. Yeah, go with a big opening bid and then we'll go to Brendan over there on the end. Five names, I guess. Five names. Then we come around to Pat. You can either tell him name it, which five names is a lot

of names out of six, or you can bid lower and just say four names or three. I can make that movie in two names. Two names. Oh shit. Laying it down. And you guys don't yell out. Whatever you do, don't yell out.

Wilson washed up on the beach and he's ready to play. Oh shit. Is he related to that guy? Yeah. Are you related to the Wilson from Castaway? Are you related to the tennis ball? I think so. Negative two names.

I'm ready to do this. Negative two? No. Just two. Okay. He says two. So we go to Josh. So Josh, you can either say name it, and if he fails to name it in two names, you will

get the point. Or you can bid lower and say one name or zero names. Say name that movie to Pat if you want him to name it. Into your microphone. Name that movie, Pat. Do it! Yeah! Showdown!

All right, Pat. So I'm going to name two names that were in this movie. And then you're going to tell me the name of it. It's got an RV in it. It's sporadically tense. Competently directed. And your two names are Peter Green and Jeremy Piven.

It's got an RV in it. Those are deep cuts back then. No one knew who those guys were back then. Yeah. They had smaller parts in this movie. But it's not up to you. It's just on him. I've got a good Peter Green story, though.

Oh, okay. Let's hear it. Is that the guy from Pulp? Is him. I've got a good Peter Green story, though. Oh, okay. Let's hear it. Is that the guy from Pulp? Is he in Pulp Fiction? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the guy? He's one of the two guys that, speaking of anal rape. Let's do this, then I've got a story.

It involves us both being naked. He gets medieval on somebody's ass in Pulp Fiction. I've got my story involves us both naked. Oh, no. And I'm on my children's life. Everybody just corner Josh later on the boat to hear his Peter Green is naked story. Do you have any idea, Pat? I sure don't.

Guess a movie that's got an RV in it, if you can think of one. Brendan suggested RV out loud. I didn't say that. Yeah, you did. You both did. RV? When I said the category is RV, you said it could be RV.

Defending your life. Did that have an RV in it? No, no, no. That was Lost in America. That was a tram they were on, actually. Lost in America had an RV, though. That would be a good one for next time. The rest of the names are Stephen Dorff, Dennis Leary,

Cuba Gooding Jr., and Emilio Estevez. It's called Judgment Night. That's a terrible movie. Yeah! I know, right? Judgment Night. Of course I wouldn't know that movie. There's Vegas, and Jeremy Piven kills the stripper or whatever?

Yeah. It's weird. No, that's an entirely other different one, and we don't have time for it. Josh gets the point, everybody. Point to Josh. All right, we'll start with Graham again, but this time we're going around the other way.

So you're next, Josh, so be ready. Graham gets to pick a category from these options. Someone on Twitter called A Dog and His Boy suggested No Shoes, which are the films that star either Joe Pantoliano

or John Leguizamo, known in the industry as Joey Pants and Johnny Legs. So either one of those two guys is in this movie. Or celebrating a birthday today on the mainland, I assume, is actress Diane Lane.

I like Diane Lane. Diane Lane films. Or in honor of Weezer, films in which Shirley MacLaine plays a character named Weezer. What? That's not a real thing. There's at least one.

So which category would you like, Graham? Weezer, Diane Lane, or Joey Pants or Johnny Legs? Which one would you like, Graham? Either Diane Lane or Joey Pants or Johnny Legs. Which one would you like? I'm going to go no shoes. I'm going to go Pants and Legs. All right. Either Joe Pantoliano or John Leguizamo is in this movie.

It's from 1999. Leonard Mullen gives it two and a half stars. 1999. Leonard Mullen gives it two and a half stars. He says about this movie that it is, it has uh It has John Leguizamo in it. Yes, and it has

or Joe Pantoliano. Thanks for helping. And it's got an overlong script and it's also um, is an Oscar winner for film editing, sound, sound effects editing, and visual effects. And it's from 1999,

and Leonard Maltin lists seven names. How many names do you think you get it in, Graham Elwood? Then we're going to Josh Fries. Six. Six. Good opening bid. Josh, you can go lower, or you can tell Graham to name the movie. Name that movie.

Whoa! Way to go, Josh. Six names. I have a pretty good feeling Graham is going to get this. But I like the way you play, Josh. I like your half-mustache way of playing. Your six

names, Graham. I'm not even going to give you the clues again. Your six names are Marcus Chong, Joe Pantoliano, Gloria Foster, Hugo Weaving, Carrie Ann Moss, and Lawrence Fishburne. Oh. The Matrix. That's correct. Point to Graham Dalwood. Never seen it. What?

What? Oh, a great story about The Matrix. I forced Josh to watch it. Dude, it's amazing. It's like mind-bending. We were flying 12 hours to Korea, and he goes, you've got no excuse. You've never seen The Matrix.

It was one of the 20 movies you could choose from. And he made me watch it, but I gave up after like 20 minutes. Well, hey, hey, hey, hey. Settle down. He took the wrong pill. He was watching it. Yeah, I was out. Settle down. He took the wrong pill. He was watching it. Yeah.

I was out. You went down the wrong rabbit hole. Three ambience. You went down the anal hole. You were watching it on a tiny screen, though, right? Yeah. Like, how impressive is the Matrix when it's this big? And also, the effects have been copied,

and the ideas have been copied so many times since. I got sad right away. Really? I got sad. He was like, dude, dude, check this movie about wine drinkers. I'm supposed to like it, but I didn't want to watch it. It's amazing. They get real hammered. Still never seen it. Never seen

Robocop either. Or Terminator. Never seen Terminator, never seen Robocop. But I've seen Sideways 75 times. What about like Star Wars? You ever seen Star Wars? I've heard of Star Wars. It's a little crazy indie flick.

Not a lot of people saw it. I've seen Peter Green naked at the Beverly Hot Springs in Los Angeles. All right, tell us the story. You're dying to tell us, so we might as well hear it. I go to this place because I don't stretch and my body's all fucked up and I play drums. So I go get massages at this place.

And I go to this place called the Beverly Hot Springs in Los Angeles. And I see this guy and he's in the locker room and he's naked. He's standing there and he goes, and he looks hungover and he looks fucked up and he goes, is this supposed to get all the toxins out of you? And he looked like he needed some toxins taken out of him. He looked like he was on

some crazy 48-hour bender. And I go, yeah? And he goes, okay. And that was it. And I go, that was the guy from Pulp Fiction. The end. Nice. He was naked.

Sweated out. I might have had a towel on. You were both naked? I'm kind of modest. I was probably wearing a towel, but he was standing there naked. More of an anecdote. Yeah.

More of an anecdote. Or more of an antidote to fun. I was in a... I'm just joking. It's a good story, right? Such a sensitive boat crowd. Hey. Come on.

Oh, that would be fun if a band on the ship would come out and yell, Hello, boat people Alright, so One time I was in a bathroom It was my birthday And I was at the gym And Keanu Reeves was next to me

Changing out of his clothes Yeah, no, that's not how it ends That's how it begins And you tripped and fell And you tripped and fell Yeah And I was like, whoa You're shitting in a stall. Blurry hole. And you tripped and fell? Yeah. And I was like, whoa.

And he was like, I am an FBI agent. No, it's like your story. It doesn't have much of an ending. He was in his underwear, and I just quietly said to myself, happy birthday. Did you wink at him? I'm not into dudes, but if you're going to see a guy in his underwear and I just quietly said to myself, happy birthday. Did you wink at him? I'm not into dudes, but if you're going to see a guy in his underwear,

it might as well be Keanu Reeves, right? Did you wink at him when you said that? No, I said it really quietly. That's even creepier than if you said it out loud. Did you whisper it to him? No, I think it's creepier to say out loud to a guy in his underwear at the gym, happy birthday.

Happy birthday. What if someone just walked by and just saw you all alone in the corner and said, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Also included in here

are Brendan Walsh's T-shirts, his face, and it says Bandejo underneath his face. And Graham Elwood's palm strike shirt and a copy of his CD, Comedians Gotta Boo Boo. And those are also available in the store here,

the gift shop. And after the show, which is going to be over shortly, Graham and Brendan and I will be in the gift shop. If any of you wanted a picture with us and you haven't gotten it yet here on the cruise, come up to the gift shop right after the show and we will hang in the gift shop. If any of you wanted a picture with us and you haven't gotten it yet here on the cruise, come up to the gift shop right after the show and we will hang out there for a while

and sign stuff. Yeah, we'll sign whatever you want. Brendan, what did you do with your mustache? You have two of them there hanging off your ears? I have mustache earrings. Yeah, you look like a Hasidic Jew. Yeah. If anybody needs to be circumcised,

I'll chop off all dicks on the Lido deck later. Yeah. Chopping off dicks on the Lido deck, you guys.

I'm gonna be a dick chopper. Yeah, and then right after that belly flop contest. It's great that that little boy has got the earphones on. That's so great.

Oh, that is a good idea. Give him something else to do during this horrible... He can't hear. That's amazing. Can he see, though? Happy birthday! Happy birthday! Do you want me to chop off your little wet dick, kid?

I mean, that's inappropriate, but it was funny to say. He's got headphones on. This one does not. This one is traumatized. Well, this one doesn't even know things yet. He's just like there sucking his stomach. Mom's got a mustache. I wish I was like that still.

That's adorable. The best. Let's hear it for him, you guys. Congratulations. Graham won for Thomas. Wait, yeah. Thomas is the winner. You got two points, right? No, one. Wait, we didn't even finish the game. Who got the first point? He got the first point.

Oh, shit. Sorry, Thomas. Sorry. That's why I was just like chatting and stuff. I thought the game was over. I thought it was finished. We got work to do, you guys. Happy birthday. Sorry, Thomas. Sorry about that, Thomas. Happy birthday.

So who got the first point? I did. Josh. Josh has a point. Graham has a point. That's why I forgot, because Josh should never really get a point. I'm not really trying. The way he plays.

Did I lose a point? No, you don't lose anything. So you're still in it, man. But we also got to finish by 7.30. What time is it? I was like wrapping it up, so we've got eight minutes. Eight minutes, mustache lady. 7.20?

All right, here we go. Eight minutes, kid. Try to chop off your dick on the Lido deck. Graham got the point, so we'll start with Brendan, and then we'll move to Pat. We'll on the Lido deck. Graham got the point. So we'll start with Brendan, then we'll move to Pat. We'll go the other way around. Let's do it.

All right. Brendan, pick a category. Would you like... Let's see what else we've got here in my category machine. Would you like... Let's see. A movie with four letters in the title.

Examples would be Spun or Salt or MASH. Yeah. Or Weyand's World. That's movies that have one or more Weyand's brothers in it. Or short film. That's a movie that has one or more little people in it.

Oh, boy. Short-ish people. Which would you like? A short people movie, Wayne's World, or four letters in the title? I think Wayne's World might be the easiest one to get.

That's a good way to look at it. This is from the year 2000. Leonard gives it two and a half stars. He calls it lowbrow. What? A Wayne's movie? Two and a half stars? So weird. Two and a half stars. He calls it lowbrow. What? A Wayans movie? Two and a half stars? So weird. Two and a half, lowbrow.

Yeah, that doesn't sound right. Yeah. Is it the right Wayans brothers that he's talking about? And he says about this movie, the fact that the Motion Picture Association gave this film an R rating surprised even Hollywood. I don't even know what Leonard means by that. Okay, and it's two and a half stars. gave this film an R rating. Surprised even Hollywood.

I don't even know what Leonard means by that. Okay, and it's two and a half stars from the year 2000, and Leonard lists 13 names. Alright. So how many names do you think you can get it in? No. Start at 12.

12 names? That's a good opening bid. Pat? You guys are like cheaters. 12 names, so you can go lower. I recommend 11. I'm going to go 11. Josh, I recommend 10 names for you.

10 names sounds good. Okay, Graham? Name that movie. Oh, boy. Graham's going that movie. Oh, shit. Oh, boy. Graham's going to win for this motherfucker. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Sorry, Sarah. Should I just give the prizes to Thomas right now? I already tried. I don't know. He might name it. He might name it. It's going to be obvious. One of us is going to walk away a winner.

All right. Here we go, Josh. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. This worked out perfectly. We both have a point. Yeah. Which is rare for you. Having a point?

Wait a minute. That sounded like an insult. All right. Ten names. I'm too stupid to know I was an insult. Alright, ten names. I'm too stupid to know I was insulted. Here's your ten names. Is this the Wayans Brothers movie? Yeah, some of the Wayans Brothers are in this. I've seen none of them.

You might hear some of their names right now out of the ten. And your ten names are... Sean Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Dave Sheridan, Sherry Oteri, Lachlan Moreau, Regina Hall, Kurt Fuller, and Anna Faris. No yelling out. And it's from 2,000, two and a half stars. What do you think it is, Josh? Oh, you know what it is, man. You know it, Josh. Cannonball Run 2.

Oh, come on, dude. That is an amazing guess, but the correct answer is Scary Movie. Ah, fucking shit! God damn it. And Thomas is still our winner. Who watches Scary Movie?

Thomas is unstoppable. There you go, buddy. Happy birthday! Sorry about that false alarm earlier. God damn it. I knew that. I knew that shit! Fucking scary movie.

All right. I hate these movies. Scary movie. But the losers tonight did not lose because they get to pick who I call a shithead here at the end of the show. I will pick who I call a shithead here at the end of the show. I will call anyone you want a shithead if you were one of the three people that did not win. So where's Holly Pop at? Where is she? Where's Holly? She's right there, yeah.

Yeah, who do you want me to? No, that's not Holly. Do you have your shithead on here? Where is it? Oh, okay. Sean. Oh, okay. That's a good one. I'll remember that. Where's Holly Pop? Where's she at? Come over here and tell me who you want me to call a shithead. Just anybody you want.

Oh, sorry. Okay. And where's the mustache girl? That would be horrible if that nickname stuck. Pick anybody you want me to call a shithead mustache girl. Mustache girl. I love the wireless mic.

I can actually go into the crowd for a change. This is exciting. Technology. Who would you like? You got it. I'm concerned that there's that many people who want to be called a shithead. Well, everybody has a shithead in their life.

It would be fun to call them that on a podcast and listen to it by hundreds. I guess that's true. By hundreds. This old boy. Patrick Wilson. They're easy for me to remember. I don't have to write any of them down.

All right. Thank you so much for coming you guys to the Palladium Lounge come see us upstairs in the gift shop and thank you to Pat and Josh for participating in this madness

let's hear it for them they put on their finest lip flops and came by and tore it up. You guys did a great job. It was super fun. I had fun. Oh, good. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It was fun, right? Yeah, it was. Brendan Walsh, everybody.

Come on, this is a great fucking time. Isn't it? Weezer, Sabato, Dinosaur Jr. What happened to Gene Weed? Extreme. I want to? Weezer, Sabato, Dinosaur Jr. What happened to Gene Weed? Extreme. I want to thank Weezer for having us on the boat, man. Thank these guys so much.

That's awesome that they had us on the boat. Thank you. And Brendan, you got any gigs coming up you want to tell the listeners about? I will be in San Francisco at the Sketch Fest. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'll be there, too. It's going to be fun. I'll be there. And then after that, I'll just come to your place and tell some dick jokes to you if you want. That sounds good. You can pay me like $40. And Graham Elwood, everybody. Graham Elwood.

Go to my website, grahamelwood.com. I will be coming to a city near you. Here's an autographed beach ball wait steady steady we got a beach ball fight in the crowd

damn alright thank you guys so much once again and uh thanks to Weezer thanks to Carnival thanks to Sixth Man

who puts the uh the whole crew together Sixth Man Scott and uh as always Newt Gingrich is a shithead. I think he's technically a douchebag. Brendan Walsh is a shithead.

Wait, who said that? The person you were playing for. No, I wasn't playing. Happy birthday. That lady who called me a shithead birthday and this is the best one thank you mustache lady Graham Elwood is a shit yeah

I'll be your shithead to watch another talkie eyes of gold is viewing there's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies