Doug Loves Movies - Patton Oswalt and Scott Aukerman Guest

Episode Date: August 14, 2008

Doug brings in comedians/comic book nerds Patton Oswalt and Scott Aukerman to discuss 'The Dark Knight.'See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey everybody Wow, this is the weirdest mic stand yet Hey, hey everybody. Wow, this is the weirdest mic stand yet. I don't know what to do with it, so I'm going to pull it out.

How many times have you said that? Welcome to the UCB Theater. A live audience is here for my podcast, I Love Movies. Let's hear it for you for coming in. Let's hear it for you. Let's hear it from you. And I've got a couple of great guests that are going to come out here in a second. But at the first part of the show, I'd like to just make a few announcements and proclamations that I've written down

on some Post-its, because I'm a professional humoridian. And my CD, Professional Humoridian, is currently available at astrecords.com. Like I said, we're at the UCB theater my show the Benson interruption happens live here at the UCB theater on the second Monday of each month at 11

p.m. yeah it's a late show on a Monday so we'll see how that works out and and my final announcement that I want to make is that I love movies is going we're going to start taping two episodes a month starting in September.

So live audience, come back for those. And listening audience, listen twice as often. Alright, here we go. Tropic Thunder, as we are recording this, opens this evening at midnight.

Has anyone seen it already? A few people. Good for you. And very excited about it. I might add, I would imagine that our microphones didn't even pick that up. But there are seven lackadaisical reactions to having already seen it. It'll knock your dick in the dirt, That's what I'll say about it. It is a lot more violent and action-y and war-y than I expected.

But also, spoiler alert, there is a subplot involving a mentally challenged man who does not exist. He's a character played by Ben Stiller because Ben Stiller within the movie, because Ben Stiller is an actor in the movie,

and he also plays this retarded character, retarded fellow. And the joke in the movie is that, you know, it's a thing you do to win Oscars is to play a retarded person. And it's one of the funniest jokes in the movie that he goes overboard

and is way too retarded and another character has to point out that you need to pull back on the retardation a little bit that you have to go Forrest Gump strength in order to be beloved and successful and win an award and when you go full-blown retard. So anyway,

it's funny, and I don't want to ruin too much of it, but I will say this, that now there's a group that plans to boycott the movie on behalf of the retarded. And my argument is this. It's an R-rated movie. Most retards are under 18.

So, I don't see what the problem is they're not gonna see it my guests tonight oh my god this is exciting I'll do it in alphabetical order this first gentleman was a writer on the amazing cult classic Mr. Show and also

appeared in it and is the curator of Comedy Death Ray every Tuesday night here at UCB in Los Angeles. Please welcome Scott Aukerman, everybody. Scott Aukerman is here. Yeah, sit next to me. I like it. You wore your choo-choo hat. Choo-choo!

That's what I say when I wear the hat. What? And also joining us, also here this evening, is a fellow you might recognize from being the voice of a disgusting rat in a restaurant and a delightful human being on King of Queens, ladies and gentlemen, Patton Oswalt is here!

Holy crap! Here we go. Hey, Patton. Oh, you're dressed up. Yes. You just flew in? You just landed at LAX? I landed at LAX, yeah, at 7.15.

You guys can just take those out of the stands and talk. We'll do. Stand-up style. So you went first class? Did you dress nice for the plane? Yes. I did a spats-only flight. There's a new thing because of JetBlue.

Now they have the other spectrum, which is spats, top hats, and canes. But you were on the flight that you only wore spats. Yes. Nothing else. Exactly. You have to wear spats and just spats, but you also have to, you can't get on the plane, you have to give your card

to the butler, and then he sees you in and announces you on the plane. Very nice. I like it. You actually have cards made just for that. Yeah, but they're only good for the plane. You have to make them for the plane. Very nice. I like it. You actually have cards made just for that. Yeah, but they're only good for the plane. You have to make them

for the plane. You have to have your flight number stamped in. On the back, there's a watermark that says plane only. It was $17,000

one way, but it was really worth it. It felt special. How much was it round trip? Round trip, you know what? When I asked...

Do you guys need me at all? I could take off if you want. If you want to do this interview. Tell me more about your lie. Keep going on that. Was the butler's name Alfred? Let's talk about Dark Knight already. Wow.

Yeah, segue time. Wow, movies. Let's do it. Let's talk about Dark Knight, you guys. First of all, how many times have you seen it, Patton? Twice. Yeah, movies. Let's do it. Let's talk about Dark Knight, you guys. First of all, how many times have you seen it, Patton? Twice. Yeah, me too. Scott? Once! Loser! Are you going to see it again in the motion picture theater?

I feel like I am, but I just have never done it. You better. And IMAX the first time or never? No, never. Yeah, I haven't IMAXed it yet. I want to IMAX it. You better. And IMAX the first time or never? No, never. Yeah, I haven't IMAXed it yet. I want to IMAX it. Yeah, yeah. Let's go tomorrow. This is one of the few movies it's worth the trip.

It's worth dealing with Universal or the bridge. Because we have to go to Mexico, right? Yeah, you have to buy a Spats only flight to Nogales. Make cards. I saw it at the Universal City Walk, which is

one of the worst places, not just to see a movie, just to go on a period, just to actually be a human being alive. It's horrible. It is truly horrible. And it was so, I mean, the first shot of the movie, which is in IMAX, the audience gasped. Has anyone here

seen it in IMAX? Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you know what I'm talking about? The first... It's the shot. It's nothing crazy going on. It's nothing... But the way that it's angled, you're just... Oh, wow.

That's really... Yeah, yeah. Fucking scary. You're like, I did not have gotten this high before coming to see this. This is messed up. I saw Jurassic Park 3 in an IMAX and didn't care for it

and so I figured I don't like IMAX theaters. I think it was IMAX's fault. Yeah. Not the plastic dinosaur heads being shoved under the doors in that movie. God, it looked like

a Christian haunted house some of those scenes. It was so lame. It really did. Here's what happens if you believe in evolution. I just remember that William Macy was in that, and around that time I'd finally decided that William Macy has Todd Glass's mouth.

When did you kiss William Macy? When did you kiss William Macy? Same night I kissed Todd Glass. Wow. But no. They have that and it would be

actually Bill Macy would be a good Batman. He's got like Batman mouth. He's got like No he doesn't. You do too Patton. You got a good

Batman mouth. No I have I have like a wide like Harold Bloom mouth. Look at him. No. Look at him. This. Look at him. This is a mouth that should be criticizing, like, bad poetry, not threatening criminals with smoke bombs.

It should be saying, I thought the meter was lacking in the direction. That's the kind of mouth I have. What if you did both? I saw... There you go. That would be great. Last December when they showed 10 minutes, the first reel, if you will, of

The Dark Knight before I Am Legend, I saw that in IMAX and I saw that whole bank sequence that's at the beginning of the movie and then I Am Legend started and I screamed, fuck you, I Am Legend. I want

Time Machine now. I need to see this goddamn movie. I just remember... It was so amazing. The weekend it came out. I saw it earlier in the week that it came out, and then I was in Irvine, the Irvine Improv,

the Friday that it came out. So I was talking about, because when I was walking through the Spectrum, there's all these... Place dropper. Yeah, exactly. I'm hanging out at the Irvine Spectrum. And... Place dropper. Yeah, exactly. I'm hanging out there by the spectrum. And, uh... A little disdainful sniff.

And, uh... I just saw all these families in line to go see the PG-13 Dark Knight. Yeah, little kids. Oh, man. And I was on stage saying, folks, do not take it.

This is like... This is like taking them to see a snuff film. They managed to make a PG-13 snuff film. It's so psychologically fucked up. It's not violent, but people will go off screen and then teeth and limbs will start flying on screen. So it's perfect for kids to fill in really awful things in their heads.

Some people would say that it is morally irresponsible to make a PG-13 Batman movie that's so nihilistic. What would you say to that? He turned it on you. Now let me ask the audience who has still not seen Dark Knight and also would be upset if we ruined parts of the plot in this audience. Wow, everyone's seen it. Let's do it.

Finally, it's been out for four weeks and that's the first audience I've been in front of that doesn't have a bunch of people clapping and going, don't spoil it. Let's do it. Finally, it's been out for four weeks, and that's the first audience I've been in front of that doesn't have a bunch of people clapping, going, don't spoil it. And then I go, listen, I have important jokes I want to tell about Batman dying. That was a crazy twist. And I'm tired of keeping my mouth shut.

Four weeks after Empire Strikes Back, everybody knew. Yeah. Oh, God, that'd be great. Wouldn't that be amazing? Now, what's this rumor I heard? Did you guys hear this? That T.J. Miller has already been cast as the Joker in the next movie? Yeah, I know.

You heard that? Really? That's absolutely true. T.J. Miller. Why are you saying that? I don't know. This is so ridiculous. Who's T.J. Miller? He's a comedian.

He was in the monster movie. He was in Cloverfield and Carpoolers. He's got a similar haircut to Heath Ledger. Maybe it's just a rumor. Oh, that's what it is. I bet you I was at a party and someone was like, oh, T.J. Miller should play Joker in the next movie.

And you remembered it from the traits. The next day I was like, T.J. Miller's going to play the Joker. It's right. You you remembered it from the traits? The next day I was like, TJ Miller's gonna play the Joker! And then I, it's right, you're right, I just saw him yesterday and his hair's all greasy and scraggly and long. Well, it's your friend who always talks in news headlines. TJ Miller to play Joker!

Oh, that's, and it always makes me dizzy, because whenever he speaks he's spinning. But, um, but Dark Knight and it always makes me dizzy because whenever he speaks he's spinning. But Dark Knight is clearly the best movie of the year. Maybe the best movie of all time

until let's not get crazy Beverly Hills Chihuahua is coming out. That might topple it. But here's my thing is that

four weeks in it's still number one. Pineapple Express came in number two it's opening weekend and got stellar reviews was totally set to everybody loved it

I can't wait to see it except by me couldn't do it but keep it to yourself Scott but you deserve that number two

I can't wow I can't I can't disparage a movie that's so pro pot or ultimately anti-pot I heard But anyway You should stop smoking pot

We have to stop smoking pot everyone Now that's Rosie Perez Is that who you're doing? She's in it, that's weird to me But anyway Playing the same character in every movie The anti-smoking person at the end Yeah with the big tits

Like her sixth movie But it's at 400 and some million. It's encroaching on... It beats Shrek 3. It's encroaching on one of the Star Wars. It's the number two movie. Do people tune into this podcast for news? Yeah, well, no, because this thing will be posted like three weeks

from now, but my point is... Well, you should give it a screen-by-screen average. I mean, your listeners are going to be so pissed off if they don't... My point is, people, we have the chance here to take down Titanic as the most popular movie of all time.

Let's fucking do it already! Actually, people can stop talking about it. Everyone go see it in IMAX, because that's $15 a throw, usually. So that's going to throw more money into the till. I will say, if you haven't seen it in IMAX because that's $15 a throw usually. Oh, man. So that's going to throw more money into the till. I will say, if you haven't seen it in IMAX, it's a mind fuck. There are scenes that just action-wise, it's a mind fuck. It's the same movie, but just bigger, though, right?

No, no, no. A dick comes out and goes into your ear and you get completely mind fucked. I think Nolan has seen movies in IMAX and then, oh, they just fucking made it bigger. I think Nolan has seen movies in IMAX and then, oh, they just fucking made it bigger. So there are scenes he shot just for IMAX that take advantage of the fact that it's suddenly going to be huge. Like when he's up on rooftops and you're looking down seemingly miles and you're, oh, fuck, this is going to get really bad. Does it all of a sudden get bigger in the IMAX theater? Yes. Does it, like, take you out of the movie?

It's not totally IMAX the whole time. There's just certain sequences. Just like when you're reading a comic, you turn the page, some of the panels are bigger. Why not do it in a comic book movie? It works. Nerd. If you were to read Will Eisner's graphic storytelling, volume of one or two, you would know that...

The complexity of that is... Please let me finish argument. Different box I did. Break this. All right, so here's the other thing. Let me finish argument. Different box I did. Break this. Read. All right, so here's the other thing. Here's one of the other things I want to get started. I want to start a campaign that will involve me doing absolutely nothing but speaking about it right now.

Where we don't allow any other actor to play the Joker. Like, the Joker's just gone now. Like. We just don't see him again ever. He's locked up. We hear his voice. Any other but T.J. Miller. If it's my friend T.J. Miller, then okay. But no, seriously, no Joker from now on. He's in Arkham Asylum. And what villain do we go to next?

They can bring back Ra's al Ghul. Chris Nolan listens to this, by the way. What about Lex Luthor? Oh, Scott. Dear, sweet, innocent Scott. To help out Chris Nolan listens to this by the way What about Lex Luthor Oh Scott Dear sweet innocent Scott He's in there DC should do the shit that Marvel's doing now Which is in every one of your superhero movies

You have other people that you're going to spin off into other movies And then promise the nerds a huge Avengers thing down the road. But that fucking, first of all, that Nick Fury scene at the end of Iron Man was,

I was like, I sat through 15 minutes of credits for this bullshit like it was ridiculous. Like I had heard there's a scene at the end and I waited for it and then nothing interesting happened.

It was a powerful scene. He walked in and said something. I think I'm going to leave this podcast before it gets ugly. I'm just going to... Do you love that? Did you love that? Fucking loved it. Okay, but...

Come on. But how about Iron Man in the Hulk? Did you love that? That was the only good part of the movie for me. I was watching that. I was going, oh, fuck, this is great. They're going to start tying them all together. I was watching that movie going,

I want the movie to be about that dude. Yeah. That's the interesting guy. And now the new Wolverine movie has Deadpool in it and they're going to start just linking all these guys up. It's got an entire Clint Eastwood movie in it? Yes. Jim Carrey

is back lip syncing. It's going to be great. I don't think I can see it because I think I'm committing suicide. But they're promising. It's like they're building up a huge nerdgasm like three summers now. Yeah, but how could it be better than Dark Knight? How could it possibly be better?

Watchmen. What about Watchmen? I went to Comic-Con and saw the other trailer of it. There's another trailer? Yeah, he made an expanded trailer. Where? What did you think of that? At Comic-Con.

Oh. Who's the nerd all of a sudden? I went down and Wait a minute! I brought some fruit roll-ups and Gatorade to sustain myself

in the heat while I was in line and, you know, made a plan and saw it through. I may have sat there for two hours. We were all at Comic-Con.

We can't really toss nerd stones right now. Then afterwards I ate gloating nachos. But yeah, they showed... I got my picture taken with 1,800 Princess Leias. Did you see that?

What? All the Princess Leias? There was a lot of them. They all gather at a certain point. They gather at a point? There's a slave laid up. Did somebody lay down

with a boner just ready? No, Doug, they gather at a certain point in Scott's mind. You can't go... No, they all go to the Star Wars booth, and they had a huge picture taken of all the slave layers. How many were there, do you think? There was two. And then they have the...

How many smelled good out of the two? Half of one? Only one smelled like bullion mix. Yeah, yeah. Oh, your lower bullion mix. Yeah, yeah. Oh, your lower half smells great. Yeah, it messed up her half a little bit,

but not totally. I love it. I didn't know Leia smelled like soup mix. All right, back to Dark Knight. I can't stop talking about Dark Knight. What are your jokes,

by the way? What do you mean? I don't have jokes about Dark Knight. I have questions about Dark Knight. Deep searching questions? Yeah, that hopefully bigger nerves than I can answer.

I'm going to see it as many times as I have to to beat Titanic. Wow. One man. If I just have to stand there, I'll have one ticket to all showings today, please. I think if you see it 100 million more times, it'll do it.

It would do it, yeah. It will beat Star Wars, it 100 million more times it'll do it. It would do it. Yeah. It will beat Star Wars it looks like. Yeah. That makes me very happy. I think it could beat Titanic. People are down on it

but 20 it made like 24 28 million this last weekend and I think it could do it. I'm praying it could do it.

What's going to open You know the Olympics are happening right now our country is going you're like come on Batman. Our country you can't do it. Our country is going for it. You're like, come on, Batman. Our country. You can't do it.

Our country. I don't think of athletes as being my friends. Oh, God. Why did I get him started on this? I was watching the Olympics last night and the gymnastics guys, and I was really pulling for them. I'm like, oh, man, it's awesome. So you were masturbating?

Yeah. But I was like, they got the bronze. I'm pulling for my yanks. It was right there. It was right there, Scott. They got the bronze I'm pulling for my yanks It was right there It was right there Scott They got the bronze medal And then one of the athletes Like looks in the camera And goes

That's how we roll Oh no And then Check this out Ten minutes later They celebrate Because they actually Officially won

He leans in and goes That's how we roll One more time in and goes that's how we roll one more time he's the that's how we roll guy maybe he thought the cameras were rolling the last time

wow do you think he'll be embarrassed when he like looks back on this no way in one year he'll never be embarrassed

that was that was an awesome thing to say well who do you think should be the villains in the third one I was watching Jerry Maguire the other day.

Oh, why? It's really watchable. It is. If you're a person that has the capacity to love. Oh, that, no. Your heart is not made of shit. No, that died in chorus camp. So long ago.

But there's this, you know, a lot of the dialogue's very clever, and it's gone into the, you know. Stratosphere. Stratosphere and the zeitgeist, and people talk about it, and they quote it all the time. But do you remember how Cuba Gooding kept saying, I need to have Kwan? Yes. He kept saying that like he's intentionally mispronouncing coin in a sentence where coin didn't even belong. I never got that from it, but yes, go ahead.

Wasn't he? Wasn't it supposed to be like, because he's saying, I want the money, and then he says, I need Kwan. No, Cameron Crowe, he based that on an athlete he was interviewing, and this guy says, I got this thing, I call it my Kwan.

He took that from somebody? No, it was a word that some athlete made up, and he goes, I made up this thing called Kwan, and if I focus on it, then that's what I focus on, like I need my Kwan. Yeah, yeah. And he goes, I made up this thing called Kwan and if I focus on it, then that's what I focus on like I need my Kwan and he goes, I'm just going to take that Cuba Gooding Jr. says it over and over again in the movie and every time

you can hear that word hitting the ground and causing a dent in the floor because now it's like, what? it didn't catch on like you complete me and had me at hello and I want the money. Show me the money.

I want the fucking money. You showed it to me, now give it to me. Why are you just showing me money? That is the weirdest thing. That's what Tom Cruise should have done. He's like, here's some fucking money. Look at it, bitch. He's like my grandfather quoting movies.

I love that. Remember when he says, hey, Luke, I'm your dad. Remember that in Empire? That was something else. How about it?

Hey, Luke, I'm your daddy always. How about it, Wizard of Oz, where she said, there's no place like it, Holmes. I actually,

I was waiting tables when Jerry Maguire was out, and there was a table of old ladies who, the entire time I was serving them,

told the entire plot of Jerry McGuire and it took the entire dinner That's a complicated plot to tell because like Jerry kind of likes her then he thinks he loves her but then he's not so sure. It took the entire dinner and then the old lady says so he finally comes back and says a whole speech about how he loves

her. He wants to be with her and she says you know what? You lost me at hello. Got me back through boring speech. And her companions just sort of looked at her like, what is this fucking movie you're telling us? That sounds horrible. So he loses?

She was also the woman who said, her companion said, I love to go to the 99 cent store. And she went, hmm, I prefer the 98 cent store. That's not about movies. Is he Jewish? Terrible stereotype.

Okay, so the scarecrow in Dark Knight. What's going on there? I loved it. I love the fact that that's their way of saying he was this big villain in the first one, and now things are going to get worse. Now Batman's getting better at what he does, so that's... That was like an open mic for a comedian. Now he's like, I'm beyond that, and now he's got to go do Letterman, and that's the Joker.

Why would he be with a team of Batman impersonators, though? Why is he suddenly trying to fight bad guys? and that's the Joker and he's like oh shit I'm nervous why would he be like with the team of Batman impersonators though like and not like why is he suddenly trying to fight bad guys he wasn't with the impersonators the impersonators

were they just showed up trying to fight him he was there trying to make a drug deal you've seen this twice you said yeah yeah yeah

the second time I saw it I was like okay so Scarecrow's there already and then they show up but he's just make like he's so like I thought he was

Put away in a Psychiatric institution At the end of the first movie No he rode away In the first one Remember he Vanished into the fog He rode away on a horse

Screaming He got tasered in the face So where's his horse Why does he have a van Oh Probably traded it For the van That's what you trade up

But also when they Pulled the thing off And it's like And it's like Oh that's really Scarecrow And they pull the other Guy's mask off And they're just like Dudes Like the whole thing Who did you want him to be off and it's like and it's like oh that's really scarecrow and they pull the other guys masks off and they're just like dudes like the whole who did you want him to be he's trying to start another

criminal game is that how you pronounce it murphy and he did you want to be other famous people like that's paul lind no but it's the guy hey there i thought there was a truck behind me and I liked it hey fella more like scare blow you know what I mean come on how many times on the average does a ram make love I don't play football but between now argue this with me

between 28 Days Later Batman Begins and Red Eye that guy's a fucking amazing actor huge star made all those movies great and now he has one scene where they take the mask

off him and he sits there and goes I'm Scarecrow or he doesn't even say that he just sits there like a fucking extra well because

what they were planning to do was for the third movie can you tell this story well I mean this was one of the plots that were kicking around I don't even know

this inside nerd shit. Well, I don't want to like, because now of course it's all changed, but the whole third movie was going to be a giant, once they lock up the Scarecrow just like in the wire, he was going to start building an army of villains around him and then there

would be a huge mob war between Two-Face, Joker and the Scarecrow's forces for control of Gotham. And in the middle of it, because remember at the end that Batman is kind of a criminal? Yeah. Batman just decides, fucking, I'm just going to take over the underworld and I'll clamp down on it.

So it becomes this four-way mob war. Because you can't defeat the underworld. You can just take it over and then control it. But they just, like, they could have given Scarecrow... It was exactly like Daredevil. They could have given Scarecrow a few lines. They could have given him

a few lines. He couldn't have just been sitting there with a couple of broke-dick Batman impersonators. Like, they weren't really setting that up very well. Give him a soliloquy, I say. He sprays a few guys

and they freak out. He does. And it's like, is that guy pretending to be Scarecrow or is that really Scarecrow? But he's also permanently terrified of Batman now

because he got dosed with his, remember in the first movie he got dosed with his own shit. That's true. Continuity, man. But if he's permanently

scared of Batman, why would you continue to do drug deals in Gotham? Why would you fucking move? Move to Metropolis. Okay, next question. Or Coast City. Next question, nerds. Hang City. Next question, nerds.

Hang on. Hang on, nerds. How about Hump City or Opal City? That's true. Why does the mayor of Gotham wear eyeliner? You have to admit he wears less than in Lost. Is he super into Morrissey because he's Mexican? That's probably true.

They're setting him up for the third movie to be Thin King Tut. He's going to be, they're going to bring that villain back from the TV show. Thin King Tut. Thin King Tut. Oh, shit. Yeah, why don't they make

like Egghead the villain in the third one? Just like, totally wacky with it. Because you know how, like, this is the biggest, I never jump in movies anymore

because it's always a cat or some shit, you know, and it's always some horrible Japanese knockoff. Like, movies don't make me jump anymore.

But when the mayor is looking out the window. I was going to say, what if you hear the neutron dance? Well, then I'm on my feet. there you go.

that scene where the mayor is looking out the window and he's just talking pretty casually and then the body, the Batman body slams against the window. The BB. I jumped the first time

because I was going, why is the mayor wearing eyeliner? It totally distracted me. And then the second time I jumped again because I was still like, why is the mayor wearing eyeliner? Does he want people to think he might be the Batman? Because Batman has to put black shit around his eyes

because it's a cowl thing. See, I have a theory about him is that his eyes just naturally have that. I remember Jay Johnson on Mr. Show always had to lighten his lips. His lips. Because it looked like he was wearing lipstick in every shot. He just had like

naturally rosy lips. I feel like he has like some, he tattooed his makeup on. The mayor did? Or Nestor? No, Nestor. Nestor did that? Yeah, he tattooed his makeup on. He didn't look like that on suddenly Susan. When he'd walk in every episode and go, Susan.

I've got a question for you, Susan. And he didn't do it when he was playing Bat Manuel on the tick. You think he thought that was a bad idea? Yeah, he just out-nerded your ass, didn't he? Yeah he was playing bat manuel on the tick you think he thought that was a bad idea your ass didn't yeah you might have i just love the fact that in the in the in the dark night they kind of use the joker like the shark and jaws where they establish him really early on and then he can just pop up for any in in scenes where people are just talking you can never relax

because you're oh shit that guy's gonna show up and shove something into someone's skull it's so scary but so like it's the like I think a lot of the TV shows that have violence in them kind of set the template of like

shows like Buffy kind of set up thank you professor set up that you could that you could throw somebody across the room against the wall

so hard that it would kill them in a PG-13 or on television as long as no blood comes out of them. Like Dark Knight is the most violent no blood movie ever made. It's like G.I. Joe and the A-Team as long as you don't see it actually happening. And as long as they always get shot on this part of the arm. Yeah, but Mr. T was never like...

After a while they keep getting shot in the same spot. I've only got this much ligament left. Mr. T was never like but I asked for a number one pencil,

bitch. Like that was a brutal scene. That was amazing. Ta-da! Gone. Alright, so. Alright, let's play

the Leonard Maltin game because the last show I didn't get to it and people wrote to me and complained. No, they didn't. Yeah, those people should be seeing Dark Knight over and over again instead of bothering me. But they're nice.

All right, here we go. You guys, say your name when you think you know it and then you can jump in and be the winner. Full name? Nothing. Full names, please. Christian name? Full Christian names because I want Patton to win this.

His name's shorter than yours. It's a couple syllables shorter, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know, maybe. All right, here we go. Coolio. Coolio was in this movie. Coolio.

Vendella K. Thomason, who I guess was a model mostly known as Vendella. Scott Ackerman. What is it? Dangerous Minds. Dangerous Minds? Really? Wow. I don't know.

Coolio's in it. Coolio wasn't in it. He just sang that song for us. He's in it. I consider that to be in it. Was he one of the students? Was there like some kid behind him like,

I can't see around these twigs. Oh, Patton Oswalt. Okay. Batman and Robin. That's right. The shittiest. Batman and Robin. That's right! The shittiest Batman movie ever made. That's right, Coolio's in that goddamn thing.

Closing out the Dark Knight edition of I Love Movies. Patton Oswalt, Scott Aukerman, everybody. I didn't get, who's Vanilla? As always, Willem Dafoe is a shithead.

Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess to foe as a shithead.