Doug Loves Movies - Patton Oswalt Guests

Episode Date: October 1, 2006

Doug welcomes Patton Oswalt to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody, welcome to Doug Loves Movies Episode number two I forgot to mention in episode number one That that theme song

was written by Chris Hardwick and Mike Furman, also known as Hard and Firm. Try to check them out in a local comedy club and yell out,

request that song while they're trying to do their show. Just yelling, I love movies! I love movies! Yell it out until they play it,

which I don't think they can do live because there's a lot of stuff happening in the recording studio on that one. Chris has to have this whatever that fucking thing's called with the keyboard and the glow on it. Okay, welcome to the second episode. I want to talk briefly before bringing out my guest about a movie that I didn't entirely love that was out this past summer called Superman Returns. Now, I'm a big pot smoker and I enjoy smoking

pot before going to the movies. And the problem with Superman Returns is there's not, I couldn't smoke enough pot to get through that lengthy movie and still be having fun by the time it was over. At about the two hour mark I was like, come on Bryan Singer, you couldn't really finish this up in another 15 minutes? Because I'm no longer high. And I'm watching a dude fly around and showing off about it, because I swear to you, spoiler alert, that the last five minutes of Superman Returns is just Superman flying around. Like nothing is happening, he's just showing off. It's like they had a lot of extra flying around footage, and he's doing flips, and he's winking at the camera, and it's really like they couldn't run the credits

next to that. Why am I still sitting here? It goes on forever. And then the other thing that bothers me about any Superman thing from this point forward, including Superman Returns, is that Superman needs to catch on to the bad guy possibly scoring some kryptonite somewhere. Superman doesn't think he's destroyed at all. He knows that there's still some out there in the world. And Lex Luthor is just the man to get it. And then invite him to meet up somewhere. And then show up with it. And whip it out on him. And then Superman's all, eh, you know, he gets all frail because of the kryptonite, and then I'm sitting in the audience going,

fucking Superman, you know, call ahead, dude. You know, like, if I'm going to a party, I'm allergic to cats, so if I'm going to a party and I know that there might be a cat there, I'll call ahead in advance and say, I'm thinking about coming to your party. Do you have a cat? And if they say yes, I say, well,

I'm not going to come to your party. Because it will cripple me. And if you have a cat, I won't be at my full party potential. Unless you're willing to keep it in a lead box one day. My guest today, you may know from his Comedy Central specials, from the movie and TV series Comedians of Comedy, and from his role as Spence on the long-running sitcom King of Queens.

Please welcome my friend, the Queen of Kings, Patton Oswalt. Hey, buddy. There's a little twist there with the Queen of Kings. That'll be my spin-off show. All right, let's save it for the microphone. Oh, forget Spence and Spenceability.

I'm going to pinch. Spence and Spenceability, I love it. Have you talked to Emma Thompson about writing a screenplay and winning another Oscar? You know, I'm not going to give you that scoop. I'm saving it for Carson. Okay, Scoopy. Yeah. Thanks for being here.

I hear you had to pick up your dog at the thing. I picked up my dog today. How is he doing? He was very excited to see us. No offense to the guest of my first show, Brian Hussain, but your dog is the most adorable dog in the world. He is ridiculous. He is also ridiculous. And he is very ridiculous. Not the brightest animal. No. Oh, my God. He's either like... Not to cut you off, but this is about movies. So the first thing I wanted to... I'm just kidding. No, I don't blame you.

But you can get... Pat will just go off about this dog. His favorite movie is Godfather III. That's how dumb he is. He has that back in the movie. That's great. He didn't have that for the trilogy. That's great that you mention that because you were in Blade III, which is the Godfather III of Blade movies. It is. Good Lord in Heaven.

I had that one ready to go later in the program, but we got to it right away. Put it in a breach. Yeah, in fact, I should cross it out, because I'll probably get to it and say it again. Yeah, you will say it again. But seriously, is Wesley Snipes proof that you have to be batshit crazy to play a vampire?

I think you have to go batshit crazy to ruin a franchise that's so bulletproof. It's a kung fu vampire with a sword killing other vampires and he made it not watchable. That's how batshit crazy he went. Even, and he was apparently batshit crazy from the get-go. From the first one he was still. Yeah, yeah. I'd say going back as far as Wang Fu. Yeah, I think he was... He's real crazy. He managed to ruin Wang Fu somehow, which I don't know how he did that.

Who do you got so far? Patrick Swayze and John Leguizamo? I'm in. Yeah. That is a horrible thing to say. If you can confirm that Leguizamo has signed, then I'm in. If you can confirm he's in, then I'll...

But I won't say yes until he does. You know they lied to both of them? Oh, no, we got Wesley in. John you confirm he's in, then I'll... But I won't say yes until he does. You know they lied to both of them? Oh, no, we got Wesley in. John, you got a sign. All right, fine. As long as Wesley's not in. He's going to wear the dress. He's going to wear the stockings.

He's going to shave. That was quite a shoot. But he probably went through the same preparation for both films. For Julia Lamar and for Blade III. Which was to sit in his trailer until there was literally pot smoke seeping out of the doors when we would walk by. Oh, he's a pot smoker?

Oh, Lord. Well, now he's back on my list. Yeah, exactly. Non-stop. Wow. Yeah. Do you think you'll ever really fight Joe Rogan? That would be great.

I don't know. Are people big pot smokers? There's rumors about the fact... Yeah, they are. Joe Rogan's definitely a pot smoker. And there's rumors that the two of them are going to fight in some sort of cage match or something. Oh.

And wouldn't that be the greatest thing that ever happened? They should dangle a bag of Lebanese blonde hash over a cage, and then whoever is standing gets the bag. They lower the bag to the victor, and then he leaves. That would be the match. That would be so great, wouldn't it? Or how about a belt made of that? A belt made of weed that you can smoke. So you still win the belt. Exactly. I love it. Here's what they do. The guy wins this massive thick belt made of really good

weed and the other guy has, you know, he can challenge him as soon as he's back and on his feet. The other guy has to smoke as much of the belt as he can before the next challenge. And then they just go back and forth and the belt's gone. I challenge you tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. Wheel my bed out there. That's awesome. Well done, Patty.

Thank you. None of this is prepared. No. I'm amazing in pitch meetings. I'll just go. What if Bigfoot was a detective? Okay, and? I actually just, I got pitched a movie where it was, it's Bigfoot and he's in the woods and he meets Elvis and Elvis has been living in the woods, and they want them to be like, Elvis is part of a Men in Black,

but for, you know, cryptozoological beings, so they're trying to protect him from, it was the most, it was such an insane pitch that I just watched the guy in Wonder, as he said. And they were pitching it to you because they wanted you to play a game walk or something? No, they wanted me to write it. I would have just played the Chupacabra.

I could have put on a crazy Mexican accent and run around. And on the same day, I went in on another movie, and I read for a fucking goblin. I actually read to be a goblin, and it would have been like a Gollum-type thing. A CG thing? Yeah. They need a new Andy Serkis.

They really do, yeah. Yeah, that guy's done. He's all drained. That golem took it all out of him. Well, yeah, King Kong. He's exhausted. Yeah, yeah. By the way...

He wants to play real people in real movies. So, in other words, he's out of work. You need to update this game, because the IMDB is so much crazier than the Leonard Maltin because they have guys that will write in and they'll add people that did ADR work that are now huge stars. They've got the call sheets from the early 70s and 80s and they'll go way back. Right, they go back and piece it together. But also if you're a member member of IMDb, you can just tell them something

and then they put it in there. They don't verify it. So there's some really odd things in IMDb. In fact, I think I had it, as long as you brought it up, I think I had a question. Why does your IMDb say that you're sometimes credited as Shecky Chucklestein?

Oh, because... That just sounds like something Brian Posehn wrote to them. No, yeah, exactly. Apparently my Wikipedia is a real fun place to go and write weird stuff about me, because there's all they add, like, you know, he's a huge fish fan, or he's an avid hang glider, was on there for like a week.

But the Shecky Chucklestein's real, and there's a real credit because I did a voice on a couple episodes. They brought the character back on Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and at the time I was WGA, and they couldn't use my real name, so I said as a joke over the phone, I said, just call me Shecky-Chuckles theme, and those guys are stoned to the point where everything is very literal. There's no irony to them anymore.

Right, and they didn't even get it. Even by your standard, you were even saying a name that's not funny to you. No, exactly. Like it's taking it. Just toss it away, and the next thing I know, I thought they would call me later and go, what do you really want to be called? And they said, you like Jackie Junkers.

Brian has one too, don't you, Brian? Jason Todd. They call him Jason Todd, which that sounds like a horror for a while no no that's that's one of the Robins that's the Robin that got killed Robin no no didn't actually get killed well yeah he came back as hush in the territory from my own I made fun of Brian for being a nerd and then I overcorrect him like,

one of the Robins, one that died. He did not die. He came from the prosthetics. So last week's guest, Brian Posehn, is still here.

Last week's guest, yeah. First of all, gotta say that. He really ate me on such a good time. Hey, when are you gonna

have me back? Yo, he's anxious to come back. If you hang out for another week, Brian, you probably will be on the third show. Are you guys going to eat that? It might be. So how many people in the audience would just come every week

if it was always Brian and Pat? Some people raise their hands. So polite. So polite on a podcast, the raising of a hand. I got stoned and hung over Ebert and Oprah I like that so the other thing do you know they're having

people fill in for Ebert because he had heart surgery and it's like Fred Willard's gonna do it and it's just like well if you're gonna do that like have us on we can be great on there

I know have Dame Edna on there if you're gonna have to not to put down Fred Willard, he's very funny, but, you know, he's just going to say something goofy

about everything. That's right. He will. Something that he'll make up on the spot, I'm sure. Exactly. Okay, so,

but I've got to fix something else from earlier. Patton brought up the Leonard Maltin game, which if you listened last week, we played it

with Brian Cusane. It's a game the two of us invented. And I know it's hard. It's confusing when you watch Brian do it and then you come right on. Oh, yeah. They're airing a week apart. It's new technology. I don't get it.

So those of you who are Patton Oswalt fans that skipped the Brian Poussin podcast because you saw his name on there and you're like, I'm going right to the Patton Oswalt one. Brian Posehn podcast, because you saw his name on there, and you're like, I'm going right to the Patton Oswalt one. I need to explain that Brian and I used to play a game called Leonard Maltin that I'll be playing with Patton at the end of the show. Okay. Now we're back to, now we've cleaned all that up. Yeah.

Please don't make any more messes, Patton. Sorry. All right. So, what movies did you see over the summer? Over the summer. You know what? I'm see over the summer? Over the summer? You know what? I'm at this point now, and maybe you're getting... No, I don't think you've gotten to this point.

I think I'm past it. You've kept a sense of joy in your heart. When I first moved to L.A., I saw movies almost every single day. Yeah, you saw Patch Adams. I saw Patch Adams on Christmas Day. I was like, are you there with me? There's like 50 people. Great story.

Ridiculous. So, and I think I saw so many movies that now I'm at this point where I can watch a trailer and it takes a lot to get me to go to a movie. Like now I'll go, if there's, like when you mentioned Giamatti, I'll go see wherever he's in. Because I know that... Did you see Lady and the Lake? Actually, Lady and the Water. I didn't want to correct you last week when you said Lady in the Lake? Lady in the Water. I didn't want to correct you last week when you said Lady in the Lake.

Man, you've been harboring that for seven days. Seven days. You brought up Giamatti just so I'd ask again. I've got no work done. I haven't done, you know, it's ridiculous. Did you see that other movie he was in, Sleeping Beauty Man? Or how about...

Actually, I love Cinderella Man And I love the fact that it's a Depression era movie set in the winter In the Bronx that they released at the height of summer It was something so ballsy about that Watch children freeze to death And then hit the pool Like it was so

It just didn't work on any level What about Lengthways? Did you see that? I love Sideways. That was great. I did, too. I really liked that movie. This summer, I went and saw Superman,

which I have to go. I'm still watching it. There's, like, eight more endings, apparently. I only saw the 12 endings they had in the actual movie that I saw. Now that you brought it up, let's talk about a scene that drove me nuts. All right.

It is crucial to Lex Luthor's plan at one point for Parker Posey's character to drive in a busy metropolitan area with buildings and people and fruit carts and smash through shit for about 20 minutes without ever coming to a stop because he's pretending that her brakes aren't working, but then later finds out that Lex Luthor cut her brakes and gets mad at him for that, which is a whole other subplot that the movie didn't need. But it's just amazing to me how long she goes on for, and the whole time you're like, as a viewer, you're like, is her car really out of control? I think this is part of the plan, but I'm not

sure. And then when you find out that it is part of the plan, you go, how can you plan for that to work? As soon as she hits a side of a building, the car comes to a stop, and the distraction is over. Yeah, I mean, that's not the plan of a criminal genius. At least in the 70s movie, they would have Lex doing criminal genius stuff. Like, oh, that's a pretty good idea. And Gene Hagman is Lex Luthor. The one loophole that he overlooked was Superman flying around so fast he could turn back time.

That's one that no supervillain's gonna think of. You think of that at three in the morning and go, oh, now I'm just way too much melatonin. I'm just gonna go to sleep. Now I'm just micromanaging. Yeah. You think to yourself as a supervillain, well, this will be the very last chapter

of the saga if he does that, because that's impossible to top. I love the fact that the Superman movie, clearly they had watched X-Men and Spider-Man and said, these movies made huge oil tankers full of money. What is it about these superheroes?

Oh, they're superheroes with problems. Spider-Man has spider powers, but he still has problems. The X-Men have wonderful powers, they still have problems. But I think the Superman people thought that what that meant was you have superpowers and you're crushingly depressed about everything in your life while you have them. Because everyone in the movie Superman is under, like, bipolar depression. Not like, oh, there's some trouble in my life.

It's like, I can fly around and I have no love and I'm completely alone and there's no point. And then Lex Luthor is, I broke out of jail and I'm a billionaire and I'm angry and everything means nothing. So the movie would have these little moments like, hey, he's flying around. And then they would always pull in close in his face as he's flying. He's thinking about how, oh, my life really sucked. It's like if you're watching Smokey the Banner, even if that eastbound and down music is playing, but they pull in close on Burt Reynolds, he's like, my dad never said a kind word to me. And you're like, well, that's just ruined. I don't want to watch this. This is horrible.

You have to still have fun. Cheer up, Bandit. Yeah, come on, Bandit. Don't cry, little Bandit. You'll win that bet. Keep chewing that gum and jumping that bridge. You'll show Paul Williams a thing or two. Paul Williams, taller than you or shorter? If you had to guess, you've never been next to him?

I would almost think shorter. He has no neck. You and Brian Falsine could be the new Paul Williams and Pat McCormick. Especially since he just died. Oh my god, if they redo Smoking the Bandit, I'd be called. Are you in, Brian?

Would you do that? We've got to make a YouTube video. Big Enus and Loneliness. Yeah. Big Enus and Loneliness. Oh my god, in a second. And we'll get Sean William Scott. It'll be perfect. I'm too busy pitching Black Jaws. I'm very excited. Black Jaws?

The shark is black. It'll be really good. And like Tintorea, the Tiger Shark movie, every time you see him it's like, he's got the Darth Vader breathing. So I'd say we'd edit that out, but that's not the kind of show we're doing. No, that was awesome. And everything's in. So Superman Returns, I kind of still want to talk about it. It was such a bummer.

Yeah, it was a shame. Yeah, it was a bummer. And now, I don't know if they're going to do a sequel. Now, I heard because of that plane crash in Kentucky, they're taking out the plane crash scene in the movie. Because it might upset people. The movie that's no longer in theaters. Remember the Emmys last week? Yeah.

How everyone's upset that Cody O'Brien had a plane crash scene? They should have taken that out. They should have taken that out. Well, why? Because anyone who's mourning the death of their friend in the plane crash that happened that day, I would hope to God, is not watching the Emmys. Yeah. Oh, you know what'll cheer me up is the Emmy Awards.

Oh, yeah, I'll watch the Emmys. Watching big stars pat themselves on the back when I lost my uncle today is going to make me feel a lot better they're making fun of plane crashes? how dare they aren't there plane crashes every day? pretty much but when they go down in Kentucky it's news because it's surprising it went up at all

I mean literally didn't they go down the wrong runway? What is more Kentucky than that? Like, I just thought if it was flat and gray, he landed on it. I didn't know there was numbers. I should say that for Larry the Cable Guy to do it. I don't care how big your uncle is, that's funny. Speaking of air disasters And we were

My favorite Patton Oswalt movie role Is your portrayal of Delmer Darien In Magnolia Mostly I liked it because you end up dead in a tree Spoiler alert Once again In the first scene in the movie It's not a spoiler

Was that a Patton Oswalt dummy up in the tree, or did you really have to go hang out up in the tree? No, that was me hanging in a frigging tree. Not only was I hanging in a tree, then when they did the close-up of my face, I'm on the top of a ladder, and they had a custom, they cut a wetsuit for you, and they took 58 measurements.

They take every single measurement so that it fits you like a snug, you know, it's perfect and I just remember dangling off of a ladder in the valley in July and sweating so much they're dumping like, you know, arrowhead waters on me just over and over again to keep me cool and I only saw like my

two pages of the script, I didn't see the whole script no one sees their whole script and I said, why am I... What is happening here? There were no page numbers. You just knew you were a blackjack dealer at that point. I knew that. I'd been to Reno the week before and filmed all my blackjack stuff.

And then I just remember looking down at him and he said, you're the first frog that falls out of the sky. And I said, what? And he goes, you'll see. I've seen that movie so many times and never thought of it that way. That's what it is.

I never thought you were frog number one. Frog number one. Here's an idea, P.T. Why weren't you called frog number one in the credits? Frog number one. That would be a nice clue. That would be cool because they named my character like three times.

Delmar Darian. Oh, I know they keep saying it, but they could still in the end titles call you. That would be pretty cool. Or as himself. As himself. I just didn't look before. The first frog.

I told them I should have been listed as myself, and I forgot what it was. I'm guessing. If I had to guess. What? I'll tell you what it was. Can I guess first, though? Go ahead. The DJ in Starsky and Hutch?

No. No. That would have been good. How about whatever you were in Calendar Girls? And also, did you fuck any of those little bros? I would have still fucked Helen Mirren. She was hot. She's such a great actress. Oh, my God. I told her I was on the roof of the... I want to fuck her abilities. The Renaissance? You want to, like, titty-fuck her talent? Yeah. Alright. I totally want to jizz all over her award winning... There we go.

I want to do a sexy talent with her. Face. That's what I want to do. Do her talent style. Okay, how about Taxi with Jimmy Fallon? No. Okay, you go ahead and name it. Failure to Launch.

Oh, you were in Failure to Launch. Oh yeah. As the title character? Not a reason to go see it. It's horrible. Although someone told me they saw it on a plane. Why would you show a movie called Failure to Launch on a plane? Why would you do that?

Three people said, I saw it in Failure to Launch on a plane. It's part of the astronaut training program, too, now. They say that here's another way to use that expression. Today's headlines, Doug. Sorry, last week's headlines. Failure to launch. I didn't see that. What did you do in that? I'm one of her dates that she's trying to help.

Sarah Jessica Parker? A lovely woman. Nice woman. And beautiful? She was really sweet, really funny, and weirdly professional. And as they were going, like, speed, action, she was on her Blackberry. And then they would, like, action, boom, and she would just go right.

It was amazing to watch her almost get caught with her Blackberry on screen every scene. I never did. See, now, if there had been a movie called Fairyland to Launch featuring Sarah Jessica Parker as the girl putting down her Blackberry at the top of every scene, I would have saw the shit out of that. That would have been fun, yeah. That would be amazing. Like, if there's just one character that's never ready to shoot, but everyone else plays it straight, and she's always, oh, okay. This date isn't going very well, frog number one. That's all I got.

That's all you see when you do his movies. You see a page. And he also calls you the week before and is like, hey, do you want to be doing a movie? Do you want to do something? Yeah. Great. And then your agent's going to call you. He's already called, made all the calls, and then he calls you like he just thought to call you.

Are you in this new one? Not yet. You haven't gotten to call you. Are you in this new one? Not yet. We were talking last month. He was like, hey, what are you doing later in the summer? I don't know. Just give me a call and I'll do something. Okay, great.

I take so much shit for it, but he's easily in my top five filmmakers. I love him. I've seen Heartache. Heartache is so amazing. I can watch it over and over and over again. That movie is so perfectly written. John C. fucking Riley. It's going to age really, really well. Gwyneth Paltrow can't even ruin it.

I think she's great in it. That's what I'm saying. Like, she's so clearly, like, intimidated by all the people that were around her. She goes, I'm just going to deliver. That's one of those movies that I'm really... This time I'm going to deliver. I phone it in whenever there's a bunch of

schmucks like Robert De Niro in the movie. I don't know if she's been in a movie with him, but... DeGuard Fanning? Wasn't she in... Oh, yeah, he was in that.

He was in that. Oh, I hate it. That Great Expectations movie, there's a lot of things I hate about it, but my number one thing is it was Ethan Hawke's idea to change his name from Pip to Finn. That drove me nuts for some reason.

Pip to Finn! That he'd be like, not Pip, call me Finn. And the director's like, yes. And then that guy, Alfonso Cuaron, has made a couple of my favorite movies. Oh, E2 Mama and the best, Harry Potter. The last one. That was really... No, the last one was the guy that Potter. The last one. That was really... No, the last one was the guy that did Four Weddings and a Funeral. I thought the last one was fantastic.

Yeah, I liked the third one the best. And you're wrong. All right. But that last one was good, too. I just thought that those games that they played went on for too long and didn't have a clear point. Some of the way they shot, like when they go to that big festival in that weird other dimension and the way the sun is setting through the tents. I've been to so many like outdoor music festivals and I know what it feels like when there's like way

too many people around and they just caught that so much of, wow they're in another dimension right now this is really well done. Yeah that's a good question though though, for Let Me Ask a Nerd. I'm just as nerdy. But in the most recent Harry Potter, they go to the Quidditch match, and it's in this fucking gigantic stadium that's just crazy. It's, like, so huge with so many people, and Harry Potter, of all people, has kind of a shitty seat.

And, you know, even though he's pretty much acknowledged to be the greatest magician up and coming. Right. And he's like go sit in the fucking nosebleed. And it's this whole big deal and then when they do the Triwizard tournament it's just out in the countryside with 20 spectators. Like why is Quidditch so much bigger? Is it like the difference between the World Cup and ladies' basketball here? Or I think the Triwizard is something that you really have to get an invite to.

So at least a scene with scalpers would have been nice. That would have been good. Somebody trying to make a little something. Yo, yo, yo, yo! Do you want to read the names first from Leonard Maltin, or do you want me to go first? You do. I'll describe the rules while you look for it. Okay, okay, all right.

So for those of you that weren't listening last week, Brian Posehn was on. Fantastic show. Go back and check it out. But Brian and I came up with this game called Leonard Maltin where we take Leonard Maltin's movie guide and you pick a movie, you say what year it is that the movie is. It has to be a movie you think the other person has seen or heard of.

And then you list from the bottom the cast members' names, and the other person has to try and guess what it is before you get to the real obvious names. Last week, I didn't get Good Burger until Brian said Kenan Thompson. And that was fucking embarrassing. Boo. Yeah, so don't do that to me, Patton. I won't. No, you can do it. I don't mind being stumped.

Really? Yeah, I'm not the king of TV. I want to give you a chance. me, Patton. I won't. No, you can do it. I don't mind being stumped. Really? Yeah, I'm not the king of TV. I wouldn't give you a chance if that's the real shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. Talk into the microphone, Trey. Oh, sorry, yeah, sorry. Uh, Tree of Wooden Clogs, a Czechoslovakian film, uh, 81... No, see, you can't start with the title.

No, I know. But that'd be, like, the end of it. Like, I'd be going, Vich-gack-chloon-burn. What? I would've guessed Tree of the Wooden Cl I'd be going, this guy Klunberg. I would have guessed Trela wouldn't punch. Oh, you would have? Okay. As soon as anything sounded, I would have gone right to that. Or what's that Igmar Bergman movie?

Oh, you want to hear a great story about this? This reminded me of last week when you and Ryan were talking about the rundown in action movies. Yeah. When Igmar Bergman came to America, he signed with the same agent that had uh charles bronson uh-huh so um that could steal i can smell it yeah exactly so they said hey go hang out with charles and he'll you know teach you you know what we do here in america and stuff he's a really successful filmmaker because he had done like death wish and stuff yeah so igmar verman's hanging out and they're taping squibs to someone, to someone's chest, and Igmar asks Charles, he goes, no, what is happening right there? And Charles

Berman goes, those are squibs, they show when a guy gets shot, you know, they explode with blood and stuff, looks like he's getting shot. And Igmar's like, I've never seen that before. And then Charles Berman goes, don't you have machine guns in your movies? And the owner's like, no, I don't. And then Charles Ponson wouldn't talk to him for the rest of the day. He was so disgusted. There is little to no bloodshed in your average chess match with death. Okay. Here we go.

1991. Leonard Walton game. 91, got it. 1991. Tom Sizemore. Ooh. 91 Sizemore I like it I like it keep going Vanessa Williams Giancarlo Esposito you don't even have to look at the book at this point I memorized it Giancarlo Esposito. You don't even have to look at the book at this point? I memorized it. Giancarlo Esposito. Whatever it is, I like it so far. Okay, keep going.

Daniel Baldwin. Some of the movie nerds out there know it. Yeah. Well, wasn't Giancarlo and Baldwin? No, that was a different Baldwin. Fuck. They were both unusual suspects, I think. Daniel Baldwin.

Motherfucker. Okay, keep going. Chelsea Field. Oh, shit. I think that's the chick from Last Boy Scout, if I'm not mistaken. Okay, keep going. The next two are going to give it away. Oh, crap.

I can't. I'm terrible at it. Give me my help today. Oh, I get it. Oh, Chelsea Fields. I'll give you a hint. We played this on Brian's back porch when he lived in the old house, and I got it on Tom Size More every year 1991.

But only because, I'll give you another hint, I watched it on late night cable like TNT. Okay, so it's got some action in it. Give me the other two names. We don't have time for this nonsense. Don Johnson? Don Johnson? The other one won't give it to you.

That one doesn't give it to me? Oh, you got it? No. Oh. Don Johnson. I bet Brian knows. Is Melanie Griffiths the other name? No. Is. John Johnson. I bet Brian knows. Is Melanie Griffiths the other name? No. Is it Harley Davidson

in the movie? Harley Davidson in the movie. Fuck it. The last name is Crazy Face. Yep. Mickey Rourke.

Mickey Rourke. See that's an example of a movie where like Tom Sizemore that's like the next most memorable person in that movie. And you listed him so late in the game, I thought. And he's one of those IMDB guys where you realize, oh, my God, he was in almost everything in the 80s at one point when he was starting out.

I've also sort of screwed myself on this game with the excessive pot smoking. Because it's a lot of, oh, what's his face? And, oh, that movie where that thing happened. Like, I kind of can visualize it, and then I can't get there. Okay, you ready for me to give you one? Why am I good at it? I don't want to see where you are in the audience.

What do you mean, why are you good at it? You got one out of one. Like, you know, we'll keep playing. All right. You know how good I used to be at it. Now I'm having an argument with a guest that's not on the show. Alright, here we go.

Alright. Scott Capurro. What a year. I gave him this one because that's the comic that we had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1993. Mrs. Doubtfire. Boom!

Pat Moswell, ladies and gentlemen. Until next time, this is Doug Benson saying, shut up, go in the movie or I will murder you. Now it's time for Doug

to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you cause Doug loves movies.