Doug Loves Movies - Patton Oswalt, Horatio Sanz, Scott Aukerman, and Sean Jordan Guest

Episode Date: September 2, 2013

Live from the Bumbershoot Music and Arts Festival in Seattle, WA, Doug welcomes comedians Patton Oswalt, Horatio Sanz, Scott Aukerman, and Sean Jordan to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, we made him spin these seats with Jimmy as a power hurdle to his feet. There's still not more that he wants to be a part of me. Hey everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is how I love movies. That was all right. Some cities are tighter than others. You guys have had a rough day, I'm sure.

Bumbershoot, where you wait in a line so that later you can wait in a line. That's where we are, folks. We're at the Bumbershoot Arts and Music Festival. This is the arts part. There's not

going to be any music on this show, I don't think. In Seattle, Washington! Yeah! This shirt that I'm wearing, a gentleman gave it to me yesterday, and that's him clapping right now. And it's basically, it looks

like math, but it's not. It's just you gotta have under an ounce, and you gotta be over 21. Yeah. Half of that is not really my concern. I don't really have to worry about am I over 21. But the ounce part, I've got a lot of pockets.

It's Monday, September 2nd, 2 Oceans 13. Let me see your name tags, Bumbershoot. Oh, crap. There's a lot of good ones. A lot of ones with lights on them. One's making the Psycho music. It's Myko. Myko made a Psycho poster that is actually shrieking at us as we speak. I can't even see some of the other ones because, you know, my glaucoma kicks in

this time of the afternoon every day. Because I took too much medicine. Oh, there's some in the balcony too. Well, you're not going to get picked. Is it a paper? Can you fold it up into a paper plane and sail it down here if you get chosen? Or are you just going to hurl it? Alright, be cool. Alright, thank you to everyone who brought name tags. You guys can whip those out again

when the time comes. And I do believe, it's official, someone brought a baby. You guys, I've done shows in Bend, Oregon, and they don't bring a fucking baby. Sorry, Ben, those are so random. I should have said anywhere in Florida. Let me...

Here's another edit we'll do in the show. I've done shows in Jacksonville, Florida and no one brought a baby. Oh, does the baby... What happens? Does walking make it stop? You're just trying to get everybody's attention. We didn't know exactly where it was coming from

until it just started pacing around the room. It's the interesting thing about the crying babies at Bumbershoot is they really stick it out. The parents really want to see the show. So for the good of everybody,

they don't just step outside. Come on, we got great guests. When five people are talking, you'll never know there's a baby here. Come on, concentrate, Doug. Next weekend, I'll be on the other side of the country at ArtsQuest in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. It's not a laser tag place.

It's a theater, a beautiful theater, Saturday night. And then I'll be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia on Sunday at 4.20. Now it's time for Tweet Relief, tweets about movies. At Dane DeTore, D-E-T-T-O-R-R-E. Good Twitter handle, Dane. Tweeted, Animal Planet should make a kid-friendly version of Sharknado called Kitty Twister. This has been Tweet Relief, tweets about television movies.

In the prize bag today, or included with the prize bag, because I didn't want to roll it up or destroy it in any way, is a gentleman here who has a booth over in the flat stock in the armory here at Bumbershoot. And the flat stock is where they have lots of cool posters for mostly music, but comedians

have started creeping in there and there's lots of good comedian ones. And a dude named Barry Blankenship who goes by, yeah, his Twitter name is at Barrytheartguy. See Dane DeTore? How easy it is? Barry the Art Guy. Dane D. Lots of other letters. Would be easier to... Anyway, so I was going to say go buy one of these from him, but they sold out.

We had a little signing this afternoon and they're all gone. I don't even know why I'm showing it to you. Except that I'm very excited that I was like, you know, this dude, Barry, contacted me, and he's like, how do you want me to, you know, what style would you like?

You know, do you have any ideas? I said, oh, just make it like the poster for the movie, The Parallax View. And he's like, what's the Parallax View? And I'm like, a movie where the finale is dudes running around on top of the space needle trying to kill each other and it's amazing and so

spoiler alert so I said trying I didn't say so yeah so he ran with it he saw the movie and he liked it and he ran with it and so instead of it's like the poster of the movie kind of but instead of the space

needle it's my head my head looming over Seattle Center which I'm the more I look at it the more I think it's probably how you guys should go right maybe you just put something over the space needle that's my head like a mask

maybe do it um like a couple days out of the year really bringing it down every every just don't do it at all how about that that would be neat so uh yeah so that's going to be uh in the prize bag and um also in the prize bag is a lot of other stuff. But I'm anxious to get the guests out here because, you know, as always happens here at Bumbershoot, there's lots of funny people here. So we got four great, great guests that are all here at Bumbershoot this weekend. Please give a big, warm welcome to Sean Jordan, Scott Ackerman, Horatio Sands, and Patton Oswalt. Thank you. You guys get situated, I'll start That's Sean Jordan, ladies and gentlemen

Portland, Oregon Comedy and skateboarding phenom Sean Jordan. Goddamn right. Sean, what is this bag of stuff that you brought me to give away tonight? Jack in the Box. Looks like a big bag of Jack in the Box. No, it's Sour Patch Kids popcorn and a movie that I found at a convenience store around Seattle.

A movie called, oh, Observe and Report. I like that movie. It was that or Halloween 2. I think it Observe and Report. I like that movie. It was that or Halloween 2, I think was the other one. I'm in that. Should I sign that DVD? Are you the guy they're looking for through the whole movie that shows his dick to all the ladies? No, no, that's the guy

from the other movie. No, I'm the mean Toast-a-Pun manager. No one's seen it. Oh, this is so depressing. No, we've seen it. Oh. That last voice you heard was

Hot Saucerman, ladies and gentlemen. Hi. Hello, America! And otherwise. Yeah, otherwise gets this. If they want it. And Comedy Bang Bang is your deal.

That's like my parents talking to me. Hey, what's your friend's deal? What's his deal over there? My mama started saying deal all the time. The deal with the... You know that deal? What is that about? What are you saying? What are you saying, mother?

And then right to the... Now we're playing cards most of the time. Still a weird question to ask repeatedly. What's your deal? What's the deal? Well. What's the deal? Five-card stud, mother.

Horatio Sanz is here for the first time, you guys. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank you. And he's going to sign the poster that... No, I'm not going to sign a poster. Oh, no, you did bring something. I'm sorry. I brought a picture that I got at the photo booth of myself. Here it is. One's cool, one's really cool, and then one's serious, and the last one's cool

one's really cool and then like one's serious and the last one's real goofy it's like a boy band four different dudes it's amazing

and I have a box of donuts from Top Pot but Reggie From Top Pot. But Reggie did a photo shoot. Reggie and I did a photo shoot with them, so we ate about half of them. They ate about half of them.

But which of the ones that are left has the ricin in it? Someone's gonna find out. So I have No deal It's like Host is on the loose There's two and a half donuts And the one There's a big one that I think Reggie Watts ate half of That's kind of neat

Yeah Maybe go home and play some sort of DNA game with it or something Yep By the way, Doug, I brought Maybe go home and play some sort of DNA game with it or something. By the way, Doug, I brought... They're fine. They're in a box. It's fine. There's a nice way to do that. We didn't talk about my prize.

I brought Matt Besser's CD, The Six Most Important Sets in the History of Stand-Up, which is available now. I like to listen to that CD and then just look at each of Horatio's pictures. Just up close, one at a time. For every mood of the album. Cool, really cool,

serious, or goofy. Well, because most jokes make you kind of go like and then, ah. So it's good. And yeah, Matt Besser couldn't be here today because he's at Bumbershoot doing something else. Begged him to be here. He's like, no, I got to prepare for an improv show.

A lot of people don't know. Those improv shows he does, all scripted. Yeah. And Patton Oswalt is here, you guys. He brought some drink tickets in the artist's lounge. I brought, well, I brought this, I brought a Bumbershoot poster, well, I brought this, I brought a Bumbershoot poster,

and then I'm also, oh my God. Oh, Patton. What? Oh, man. Patton, how could you? I'm sorry, Gratio. You just stepped right on the donuts. My God. You just smashed those two and a half donuts.

Oh, jeez. I don't, oh, man. You shouldn't have put them there. We told you. I know. It was right in the path to take my prize over. Why would somebody just step on them? It's like there's a big red box.

Oh, God. They're fine. They're fine. Okay, yeah. They're in the box. All right. You ever been a bachelor before? Because I still am.

Do you mean the bachelor? I'll eat them. I'll eat those donuts. Are you the bachelor? Yeah. The guy who eats boxed donuts off the floor is a catch. Doug, will you ever find love? Oh, you missed them.

You missed them. Oh. You completely missed them. Wow. He was like a magician with the swords. Yeah. That was a good trick. I got to put him. Oh. You completely missed him. Wow. He was like a magician with the swords. Yeah. That was a good trick. I got to put him somewhere safe.

It's ridiculous. We're not even through the prize bag yet. Patton, you're in this Walter Mitty movie. Yes. What are you doing that? Or can you not say because the movie's full of surprises and imaginations? As far as you know, right now, I'm a voice on a phone, and that's all I can say. I mean, it is.

Oh, God, I'm making this sound way too creepy. I'm Boba Fett. All right. But you will sign this poster? This is a Bumbershoot poster? Yes, I will sign it. That'd be very, very nice of you to do that. And I wanted to ask something about Horatio from...

Oh, speaking of donuts. You play Duncan the Donut in Wreck-It Ralph. Yeah, yeah I play it I do the voice of a donut yeah so is that why you bring donuts everywhere yeah we like De Niro scene work with them or how much weight did you gain to play that role? Just eating exclusively donuts for a year? I mean, I got into it. Yeah, I got into it pretty hard. And a lot of people stop me in the street and they're like, ah, dude, the donut from Wreck-It Ralph, so... It happens enough that I carry my own donuts now.

Because if not, they want to go to the donut place with me and take pictures. Adam Kroll is the voice of the other cop donut, Winchell. Yes. He's more of a long john, really, but you know, whatever. Those are called long johns? In Chicago, in the streets, yeah.

He's like a... He's like a maple bar. Long John. If it's black, it's Long John. If it's beige, it's a maple bar. Don't you watch The Wire? I've also got a t-shirt that says something on it that I'm putting in there

iTunes gift card for ten bucks oh and Scott could you please pass these down to just one or at least for Horatio it's all the rules of the Leonard Malden game. He's a first-time guest.

It's real easy to absorb when you just read it off a card at the last minute. So I'm sure you're going to be fine. You're going to kill it, buddy. He just fake-read it for like 30 seconds and it went right into her pocket.

What happened? I'm just down here saying hilarious shit. It's that time of the show already. I would ask you guys if you've been to the movies lately, but you've been here at Bumbershoot for the last couple days. Scott, what's your Bumbershoot highlight? We've got to talk about Bumbershoot for a second.

I said it at the last show, but I'm just kind of hanging out at the Budweiser Pledge Sobriety tent all day. Just picking up free T-shirts, just promising to be a designated driver, just, you know, doing my part. But you've also been drinking a little bit? Oh, yeah, I know, doing my part. But you've also been drinking a little bit? Oh, yeah. I'm fucking hammered.

Oh. I'm just driving my scooter through crowds, mowing down people. It's been fun. Kind of an asshole. Alright, buddy. Patton, have you gotten to see any bands that you're excited to see?

Well, I have my daughter with me so I spent yesterday at Younger Shoot took a lot of bath salts and it was fun they have this whole chalk wall and I drew God's vagina It's called Younger Shoot? chalk wall and I drew God's vagina. It's called younger shoot. Like, is it cool? Like, do you have to have a kid with you?

There were a bunch of dudes there that I don't think had kids. So they were, uh, and they were really digging it. They flew in from all over too too. Oh my god, yeah. A lot of them, apparently, they flew in from Thailand just for the weekend. They have temporary homes there, and they flew in just to come to Youngershoe. Because you're always young at heart.

They're just comparing products at that point. Sean Jordan out of PDX. We're already having to add and subtract points. Games haven't even started yet. Horatio, you are excited to see oh, you saw them last night, Death Cab for Cutie? Yeah, they really did a great

tight show, guys. Check them out. It starts and ends exactly as they advertised it. It's a super tight show. They've been rehearsing, is all I'm going to say. Sometimes you go see a show and it just looks like these guys called each other last night

and let's fuck around. Wow, I wonder what that looks like. Can't even imagine what a show like that would look like. So fucking rude. I contacted him a week ago and it was via Twitter. So you're wrong on both counts. Oh, but I did want to say I think it's really cool that the city of Seattle

is dressing up their homeless people like zombies and putting them out into the festival. A really cool way to take care of a couple problems. We want zombies here, we know it. How are we going to do it? And employ the homeless is always cool.

Yeah, that was the number one problem, was just the need for zombies. Homeless solution two, zombies one. So wait a minute, I shouldn't have shotgunned the zombies that I saw? I thought I was helping people. Because one bit me, and then the riff just dies there.

I didn't have another joke. I'm sorry. No, one bit you, and a few hours later, you were asking people for change. Yeah. What about you, Sean? I went and saw Kendrick Lamar the day that I got here, and it was fucking... It was good?

Yeah, people seemed to like that show. I didn't see that one. Sounds like a basketball player to me. He wanted to be a basketball player. This is going. This is great. Scott looked like he was going to say something. Racist.

Yeah. Absolutely. Entirely racist. But this is the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. And the notes come out. And what we need the ladies and gentlemen on the panel to do is pick their name tags from this dazzling array of... You, ma'am.

Yeah. That's the one, yeah. Whatever that picture is. Scott wants the one on the balcony. Can you come down? I'll take that one. We're going to have to work that one. I want that one right there.

Come down. And while he does that, we'll do this. We'll be the balcony. Can you come down? I'll take that one. We're going to have to work that one. I want that one right there. Come down. And while he does that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. Thank you. And we're back. Well, who are you guys playing for? I'm playing for AJ. That part will be just between us.

Oh, Horatio's destroying the name tag that he chose. Seems like an odd move. Arts and crafts stuff going on. Trouble at home ratio, you okay? Really changing it up. Treating that thing like a box of fucking donuts, dude. Get rid of it. Look how unencumbered I am now.

Is that what you were doing? Oh, wow. That's really... Nice. People forget when they get name tags that they should cut out some leg room. Am I playing for Eli or Denzel? Who am I playing?

Eli? Eli. Yeah, the guy's name is not Denzel. Could be Shotgun McGee. I don't know. I got to make sure. There's a lot of possible names on here. McCloud.

Seuss. Seuss. Scott's playing for Pasha. Pasha. Pasha. Pasha. I'll never get that right. And Stantana, my friend Stantana from the other day,

is who Horatio's playing for. And Stantana's like a middle-aged cover band of Stantana. The lead guy's name is Stan. And Sean, who are you playing for?

AJ. Your boy AJ. Playing for AJ. AJ, did we meet the other day yeah who the fuck is that guy then oh right we were at the

ventriloquist stage a lot of crazy stages here a lot of weird shows hopefully we have time for this and for the Leonard Maltin game. We've got to run a tight one-hour

show here at the Bagley Wright Theater because something else is happening right after our show. Yeah, my show. Yeah. So there you go. You're welcome. Respect and

disrespect at the same time. Let's play a new game or a fairly new game that's being called several things, but one of those names is the Seth Rogen game. Also toying with calling it IMDB. I'm going to play this game along with you guys.

Yeah. I'm going to cheat a little bit because I'm going to play this game along with you guys. Yeah. I'm going to cheat a little bit because I'm going to have a pen and keep track, but I'm also, I want to play. So what we're going to do is we're going to get the name of an actor or a director from a person in the crowd, and then we are going to take turns naming

movies that that person was involved with, depending on whether it was an actor or a director. I guess some could be both. And, you know, like Ben Affleck. Who? That's what I said. They're like, Ben Affleck's Batman.

I'm like, who is that even? I don't know him or that character you're referring to. And then I smoked another bowl. We're going to take turns naming movies until we're down to the last man, Stanton. Is Last Man Stanton a Bruce Willis' Bruno cover band and the lead singer's name's Stan? No, it's what I suggested Harry Dean Stanton

should be the name of his band after the show, and he spit in my face. I said something about not giving a fuck. All right. So we'll let Scott go first, and I'll go fifth. And where's the guy with the mic in the audience with the big sign for Maiko instead of Psycho? Name any director or an actor or actress.

Well, somebody with a lot of... Okay, the Coen brothers. It's not that many names, but it'll be interesting to see who can last. So I just name a film that they're involved in. Yes, go. They directed it in a row and it produced. It'd be good. Blood Simple.

Oh! Then I name another Coen Brothers film or somebody that was in Blood Simple. Just keep going? Yeah. No Country for Old Men. Big Lebowski, man. I love that people are applauding choices. Like he really threw his weight behind that one.

He went with his favorite first. Sean? Hudsucker Proxy. The Hudsucker Proxy. That's a good one to get rid of. I didn't get as much applause as the Big Lebowski. Let's get it over with. I'll go with Fargo, soon to be a TV show that has nothing to do with the movie.

It's called Fargo. True Grit. This is gonna get hairy. Patton? Miller's Crossing. Might be my personal favorite. Patton just went... Off mic. Uh-huh.

That's your problem. Mm-hmm. Live with yourself. Horatio? Oh, brother. Where art thou? Ha-ha! Boom! Oh brother We're out now Ha ha Boom Ha ha ha

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Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha Ha ha, I'm gonna do a good thing, dude. I'm gonna do a good thing, dude. I'm gonna do a good thing, dude. I'm gonna do a good thing, dude.. You fucking snagged it, dude. Raising Arizona. See, I get to look at all of them, so it's super cheating. I mean, I didn't write them all down ahead of time. I'm saying I'm writing down all the ones we've said

already. Barton Fink. Yes, Barton Fink. The Lady Killers. Yeah, I was trying to think of that one, but all I could see was Marlon Wayans. Serious Man. Yes.

Are you serious, man? Sean. Story of Llewellyn Davis? Does that count yet? Is that what it's called? I don't know if that's what it's called. Is that what it's called? I heard a yes.

I'm going with that. It's called Inside Llewellyn Davis. That's exactly what I said. Calm down. Inside Llewellyn Davis That's exactly what I said Calm down Inside Llewellyn Davis Is that what he said? That's what I said You probably heard something different Because you're high on drugs

But I said Inside Llewellyn Davis We all agree that that's what I said You paid for your whole seat But you only need the edge It's that kind of fucking show Alright Inside Llewellyn Davis Coming soon to That theater that's All right, inside Llewellyn Davis.

Coming soon to that theater that's too far out of town for you to go to. And I'm going to go with the man who wasn't there. Oh. Scott Ackerman. I think we're out of movies. I think we might be. I think we got out of movies. I think we might be. I think we got them all. Yeah, I know.

It's crazy, right? Anyone we missed? They were yelling them out when you just asked them like that. Hey, audience. He just meant, are there any? And you guys yelled out one of them.

Did you hear it? I did. So I'll say it. Okay, so Scott's still in. See, you can cheat. Okay, now we'll go to Patton. The question is, are there any left? Yeah, Crime Wave.

Oh. Oh. Ratio? Big Lebowski 2 pre-production they're in pre-production they're reading scripts that means they're in pre-production wow okay

Doug's just staring at the list Sean what no I don't know anymore I wonder if I'll take now my turn now I wonder if does XYZ murders count? No.

Then Patton is our winner, I think. There's no other movies. Right? We didn't miss any. Man, we were good at that. We beat the game. Kill screen, dude. We got it.

So that means it's time to play the Leonard Moulton game. Amen. And we'll start with Patton because of his triumphant victory in the Seth Rogen game. And he gets the big category.

And then we'll go to Scott, then Sean, and then Horatio, so Horatio can pick up how this works before it gets to him and his turn. Patton, would you like a classic category, Golden Showower's Playbook? I'm sorry, P-Book.

That's funnier that way. Golden Shower's P-Book. And it's movies that begin with the letter P. Yeah, movies that begin with P. Keanu Reeves is celebrating a birthday today. Yeah. So the... You know what?

I was so excited about this category that I didn't even bother to enter a Keanu Reeves movie. So let's just say happy birthday and move on. He'll appreciate that. Yeah. Let's slag him on Keanu. He's a nice guy. How about the category of Hook?

That's a movie that has prostitution, fishing, or both in it. And then, as suggested by AtToysForTwats, we have... That's their Twitter name. Flock of Seagulls.

And that's movies with either Jason Seagull, Steven Seagal, or both. And I think the only one that has both is Five Year Engagement, so don't even... Aw. Which one of those would you like to play, Pat? Let's do Hook. Okay.

Would you like a movie that has prostitutes and fishing or both from 1980 or 1990? 1990. All right. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has prostitution, fishing, or both. From 1990, he says that it's thoroughly entertaining. So I don't know why I got three stars. Spoilers.

Thoroughly entertaining. All the way through. Beginning and entertaining, but I gotta knock off a star because that bugs me. And he also says that the movie is a variation on an old formula. And he also says that the movie is a variation on an old formula. And he names ten names in the cast. So, Patton Oswalt, how many names do you think it will take you to discern the title of this movie,

reading from the bottom of that list up? Four. He only wants four names, Scott. And I think I know Scott's playing style well enough to know what's going to happen here. Name that movie.

You know he didn't say old Formula One race car driver. He said old Formula... Shit! Okay. Do you just know every movie that has a hooker in it? Yes, I do!

Let's face it, there's only three movies that have fishing in them. Okay, your four names, Patton, are Jane Morris, Larry Miller, Eleanor Donahue, and Alex Hyde-White. Pretty Woman.

That's correct. Larry Miller. I mean, he may not know every prostitution movie, but he knows the prostitution movie. He knows the one with the best ending. Where they all go fishing together? The one with the happy ending. I! Oh, I didn't mean it that way! Come joke!

Not in front of a needle, you guys. Not in front of a needle, you guys. So that means Patton has a point. Patton's on the board with one point. First person to two points. I've drawn first blood. Did you see this, Patton, the poster they made for me? That's awesome.

Yeah, you're probably one of the few people who recognize the source art for that, or what it's based off of. I went up in the Sky Needle yesterday and thought of that scene. Yeah. Sky Needle. That's all I thought of, by the way. That's the only thing I thought of up there. That's the disco inside on Fridays after closing time. What shot?

They're all just like, sky needle. Like it's the worst thing anyone's said. What an idiot. Oh, I'm sorry. Sky pointer. It'll hold yourself. Put your glasses on.

Yes, I did. It's getting fucking serious, dude. All right. You know when it really gets serious? When I do this. Ooh. Let the record show that Patton just took out his dick. For the listeners.

How are we going to put that on the record? Should we record this? For the listeners. And everyone went, how are we going to put that on the record? Should we record this? For the wireless listeners at home, Mr. Oswald has just removed his member. Member. All right, so... So it's Scott's challenge, then we'll start with Sean yeah and then we'll it'll come back right at you Scott yeah oh look out for it

Sean which category would you like to play would you like at Trav crack us soon I don't bother spelling. Just get a better handle. Fix that shit. Suggested Ferris Bueller's Off Day. And that's Matthew Broderick movies that Leonard gave less than two stars. There's not a lot of them, I'll tell you that. Broderick and Maltin, they're cool.

I could name this movie right now. That's not how it works, Horatio. Look at your card. You're supposed to whisper the answer to me quietly. Read your card. So that's one category. Or, The Perfect Storm. That's, I'm sorry, Perfect Dorm. That's movies that take place in a college and finally

uh the spectacle now which is movies where the lead character wears glasses superman for a quest for peace that's just about every movie at some point Ferris Bueller's off day okay only two people like that hey you know a lot of people could have liked it quietly like polite individuals

which they are here the crowds how great are the crowds here Scott I think they're the best crowds in the world How great are the crowds here, Scott? I think they're the best crowds in the world! One and a half stars, Sean, for this movie that has Matthew Broderick in it.

The year is 2006. He says about this movie that it can't even meet the recent low ball standards set by then he names some other crappy movies he says something very mean to the screenwriters at the end I dare say it's kind of violent what he says about the screenwriters at the end. I dare say it's kind of violent, what he says about the screenwriters.

And that's all you're going to get. How's that? I don't think that counts as anything. It's only 95 minutes long, I'll tell you that also. Everything else, we'll give it away. And Leonard lists 12 names. How many names? Look at me.

Sean Jordan. Seven names. You're fucking right. That's how a gangster does it. Six names. I think that guy's name is Sean, and that's what he says every time he wakes up. Yeah, Sean!

I thought it was Rachel. What is this show going on right now? Sorry, Scott, go. I'll go six names. Six names. Who's he go to now? Patton. This is a chance to get even with you

for what you did to him last round. You guys good? Five names? Okay, Horatio, you can either make Patton name it or you could bid lower. Minus two. All right, Sean, he wants to play negative two, which means he has to name the top two people in the correct order and the name of the movie.

So it puts you in something of a position, I'm sure. Yeah, go for it. Name the movie. All right, ratio. Godzilla? And who are the top two people? Matthew Broderick and Gerard Depardieu I like your ballsy play

I really I really do but Sean is on the board because the motion picture is called Deck the Halls and it stars Danny DeVito and Matthew Broderick as feuding neighbors around the holidays.

Yeah. So hookers, basically. Yeah, that'll teach you to pick that category. Who picked that category? Oh, you did and you won the round. Interesting. that'll teach you to pick that category who picked that category? oh you did and you won the round, interesting but that means that we're going to start, who was not involved in that skirmish

oh Scott we'll start with Scott and go to Sean and Scott gets to pick between these categories. Roe vs. Wade, that's a movie where one or more people are lost at sea. Nine Inch Nails, that's movies that have a crucifixion in them.

I knew I could turn you, I knew I could do it. Or Rock Bottom. Rock Bottom, and that's movies starring The Rock that Leonard gave two or less stars. Every movie he starred in? That one could be a lot. I don't know. I won't give away too much.

I'm kind of fascinated by the crucifixion. What other movies could have crucifixions in them? So I'll do the crucifixion one. Yeah, they've really only tackled the Bible once in film. But what I'm saying is if Jesus is not involved, are there other movies that have crucifixions?

All the Ernest movies. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Those movies were surprisingly graphic. Hard to watch. Three stars from Leonard for this movie that has a crucifixion. And the year is 1979.

1979. And he says that the movie is a religious parable. What the fuck? Sorry, Eli. Cool guys don't look at posters that fall behind them. Okay, good. And again, really the only other thing I can tell you is that it's 93 minutes long. And he lists

six names. How many names do you think you can get in Scott Aukerman? Comedy Bang Bang. Comedy Bang Bang. I'm trying to figure out his psychology. I'm going to say zero. I'll say zero. That goes to Sean next.

Sean is up next. Yeah, I don't know it, so go for it. What movie is this, Scott? Monty Python's Life of Brian? That's correct! You answered your own question. What other movie has a crucifixion in it?

Yeah, that one, Life of Brian, has a lot of crucifixion in it? Yeah, that one. Life of Brian has a lot of crucifixion in it. What are the names? Is it Cleese first? Oh, uh... No, because he's Brian. They gave Graham Chapman the top billing. I just wonder if they went alphabetical.

Yeah, they gave it to him. All right, you guys. This is exciting. Three people are on the board. Horatio, first-time player, still strong. Attitude. Mr. Godzilla. Very confident.

Don't listen to him. So who challenged who in that last round? It was Sean challenged Scott. So let's start with Pat. Start with Pat and go to Horatio. How is this game played?

It's different every time. It's complicated. We're just switching the order around. People love it. Patton, here we go. Less Miserables. That's movies with happy, fun, or joy in the title. Or Feminist Movement.

That's movies where you see a woman on a toilet. Or we shot a zoo, and that's movies that have hunting in them. I have to pick feminist movement, for God's sake. Jesus. You really do. It would be rude not to. It really would be. So, you see a lady on a toilet in this movie. Lady on a toilet.

Hitchcock, 1948. You can't guess this early. Sorry. Gotta play the game. Two stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie from 1986. He says that the end result

isn't satisfying. Her shit? That's the whole movie? Is the girl shitting? And he says that a couple filmmakers have amusing cameos in the film. What year?

Filmmakers. 1986. Two stars. See a lady on a toilet and seven names are listed. How many names do you think you can get it in? Patton?

Seven names? Yeah. Do it in? Seven names? Yeah. Do it in four. Alright. Horatio, what are you going to do with that? What are these films?

Women with toilet, like using a toilet. You see a woman on a toilet. Yeah. The clues are terrible. Because that's happened a few times in movies. Well, you know, you can do a lot of things on a toilet, so... Oh, that's true. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a movie about a half year fish you learn listening to douglas movies i'm gonna uh i can't say go for it i'm gonna say go for it oh he's gonna get four names yeah all right we'll have a four-way tie if he misses and And Pat will take down the whole thing if he gets it. And I think this is very close. Could go either way. How do you feel, Pat? I am completely at sea right now. I have no idea. I picked this as a joke and now I'm up

Schitt's Creek. So let's do it. Well, you know, you get four names and, you know, you get four names, and, you know, you're good at this. Jack Gilpin, Dana Prue,

P-R-E-U, Prue, Tracy Walter, and Margaret Colon. No way. How'd you keep a straight face reading all those other names knowing that Margaret Colon was coming up? Did you just... Good God. Poker face.

The only movie from that time I know that had a lot of other filmmakers in it is called Into the Night. That had a lot of other filmmakers in it, like tons of roles, and this was when they were just starting to get into it. Oh, poop. They only gave out two roles

to John Sayles and John Waters. And the movie is directed by Jonathan Demme. It's called Something Wild. And you see Melanie Griffith on the toilet. We have a four-way tie. We got a long

way to go and a short time to get there. Alright, so one last round. Remind me what just happened. I'm so excited about this. Oh, people have been telling me to do this for forever and now

we're going to do it. Since we have a four-way tie, the last round, you don't get to pick a category. We're just going to play the asparagus pea category. And that's the category where I read the entire review, and then the bidding begins. And it becomes all about negative names and who thinks they can step up.

Because usually everybody knows what the movie is, unless Pete Holmes is playing, and the film is Devil Wears Prada. So what just happened in the last round? Patton could not come up with the answer. Who challenged him? Horatio. So Horatio. Okay.

So we go to Sean. You're just making rules up. I can see it. We start with Sean, then we go to Horatio. And thank you very much. One guy in the balcony thinks the system works. Who's after Horatio? Huh?

Is it this way? Who's after Horatio? Yeah, this way? Who's after Horatio? Starting with Sean, then Horatio. Then we're going back to me, right? Then you. After Horatio, we go back to me. Two and a half stars. Two and a half stars, Sean,

for this movie from 19... 1986 Two and a half stars, Sean, for this movie from 19... 1986. 110 minutes. Directed by Tony Scott. Young studs vie for glory on the ground and in the air at elite naval aviation training school. Contrived beyond belief with dogfights that play like video games

and total lack of sexual chemistry between the two leads. That's just not true. But plenty of it between two of the fellas. But slickly calculated to please 80s audiences. Do your Iceman for everybody out there that didn't see it. I hate that. That's why I call him Iceman,

because he doesn't give a care about his teeth. Always thinks he has ice in his mouth oh that's why you know who else does that that last zombie in world war z also does the i think that's dan val kilmer you just said one of the names you said a name that I was gonna skip. I forgot. I was gonna... Anyway, good story. Good story.

Start the bidding, Sean. You all have the same information. Including Val Kilmer. Negative three. What else was I going to do? Of course I was going to do that. All right, Joe, do you think you can name more of the cast of this movie in the proper order?

If Sean fails to do it, if you call him on and he fails to do it, then you're going to win the whole thing. Well, I guess I have to call him on it. Like, I should try it. No, if you... You think you can go four names? Well, I guess I have to call him on it. Like, I should try it. No, if you... You think you can go four names? If you go four, and you don't do it, then Patton wins.

No, that's not right. Oh, no. I agree. That's a good thing to point out. And you have to give him an order? Yeah. I'm going to let him try it. Okay.

It'll be a very noble win for you if he fails. Good luck, my friend. What's the motion picture called? It's Top Gun. What? And the top three billed people in order from one, two, three. Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, and Kelly McGillis. Calm down.

You don't know yet. Kelly McGillis' second build. Horatio's our winner. Mr. Godzilla! Mr. Godzilla! In what world is Kelly McGillis filled above Val Kilmer? You have your own issues, dude. I'm up there.

This chair is flying across the stage in a second. Anthony Edwards is the one that got screwed on that deal. Is that the guy from Poltergeist? I forgot his name. I would have lifted Rick Rostovic in front of Kelly McGillis. Uh-huh. You know, Tim Robbins was in that in an early screen appearance.

How about Tom Skerritt from Iliad? So later on the indie stage, we're going to have a nerd off. Thank you guys so much for being here and doing this.

Sorry, E.I. Sorry. Sorry, Pasha. Great competition. Yes, sorry, Pasha. Pasha of the Christ. Patton, you want to sign this observant report? Yes, Patton will sign that.

And who was the winner that you were playing for, Ray? Was that Stantana? Yeah. Come get your stuff, Stantana. Save for him. I don't know if he was in that. Nice job, dude. You're the biggest sign.

Yeah, I won't forget the donuts. There probably isn't. We don't have any time for shitheads anyway. It's everybody's favorite part. Here you go. All right, well, the three people I need to know who your shitheads are, because I don't think they're on the back of any of the name tags, are they? It's on the bottom.

It's on the back on the bottom. It's on the back on the bottom. It's on the top bottom. Did you hear what you just said? It's on the top bottom. Oh, I see. You just wrote it on there without saying shithead. I just thought it was something else that was written on there. Hey, can I say a show real quick that I'm doing in two weeks?

Yeah, please. Plugs, plugs. The Mississippi Studios in Portland with David Huntsberger on September 14th. So that'll be really fun if you're in Portland. Thank you. Yeah, anything you got coming up you want people to know about Horatio? I'm doing Death of a Salesman at Passy the Playhouse.

No, I'm not. I'm just lying. I'm lying. Oh, yeah, just Horatio Sands. Mr. Horatio Sands at Twitter. Just say hi. Everyone, please watch Comedy Bang Bang Fridays, IFC 10, 9 Central. Big musical episode is coming up

on September... I don't know. Second Friday of September. All right. Starting tonight at 12.30, they're going to rerun season one of The Heart She Holler on Adult Swim, leading up to the season two premiere on September 10th.

14 new episodes. Please watch it. Thank you. Thank you, Patton. Thank you, Horatio. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Patton. Thank you, Horatio. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Scott. And we can't figure out what this shithead says.

Peter Pan's... What? Whose name is Phil. Peter Pan, whose name is Phil? Our shithead? Does that really make sense to anyone? I mean, now that I see a guy dressed like Peter Pan,

it makes a little bit more sense. All coming together. But what's the rest of that mean? His name is Phil. Oh, whose name is Phil. Okay. That doesn't say whose name is. That says Norcold

where's the third one we're gonna wander off stage is that cool yeah that's perfect where's Pasha oh there's Pasha she had a long way to go a short time to get there. Here, write down a shithead for me on this little card.

And why is Stantana still Stantana-ing here? There you go. He's like, I won all my goddamn prizes. Really? Okay. It's just, it's so funny that it's the same theme for both of these. Thank you to Bumbershoot for letting us be here once again. Thank you guys for coming, waiting in the lines, all of that, and as always,

the Portland Timbers are a shithead. And Portland is a shithead. Thank you.