Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Andy Wood, and Chris Hardwick Guest

Episode Date: February 28, 2013

Doug welcomes comedians Paul F. Tompkins, Andy Wood, and returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Chris Hardwick to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody You don't have to... Are you first-timers? I like it quiet and, you know, too cool to respond.

That's what I'm looking for. No, I love all of your reactions. And my name is Doug, and I love making movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on Tuesday, February 26th, 2 o'clock to 13. And I am happy to announce that my latest long-in-a-holding-pattern movie

is finally going to be available for your eyes and ears and whatever else you do with a movie that you can download. Yes, the greatest movie ever rolled will be downloadable at chill.com on March 11th.

Yeah. Hey, that's 311. I'm going on a 311 cruise this weekend. Anyway, it costs six blunts, bucks, and so invite some people over, you know, and have a 311 hashtag G-M-E-R party. Since last I spoke and you listened,

I did a double stack of Master Pancake movie mocks at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz in Austin, Texas. We mocked the unlikely double bill of Air Force One and The Little Mermaid. And I won't say which film we were mocking when I said into a microphone, Daddy, he's in me. Okay, it was Air Force One.

Sunday, offensive things were said during Little Mermaid 2. It was really an entertaining time. And Sunday, we had a delightful TV interruption Potluck at Cinefamily Here in Los Angeles That we recorded as a special app of Dining with Doug and Karen That is available now If you want to hear about all the foods people brought

To that event And thank you to everyone for bringing that delicious food And for sitting through the 3 hour and 35 minute Oscars with me and my co-interrupters, Karen Anderson and David Huntsberger. We endured the Oscars. And I got 12 out of 24 correct on my Oscars predictions. So I hope no one relied on me in their Oscar pool and lost because of me. I went to Disneyland yesterday.

Here's a quick Disney tip. The Cove Bar at Disney's California Adventure is a great spot to watch the World of Color show that they do every night. You're welcome. Today, I taped a You Made It Weird movies with Pete Holmes that will be available soon for a few bucks in the comedy album section of iTunes. And we watched

Almost Famous. Lock the gate! And he says it three times. It's very exciting. So watch us watch Mark Maron and Jimmy Fallon and Nick Swartzen and Rainn Wilson in Almost Famous and I don't know why anybody

would do it but we did we did it for you if you want to from the corrections department a few of you have voiced concerned about Bart the bear being dead and I guess apparently there's more than one bear who goes by the name Bart in motion picture acting. Yeah. Yeah. This does not concern me. Also

the category is still movies that have Bart the Bear in them. Also a couple folks have said that the Who's Be beating Gilbert Grape category should be movies where Johnny Depp gets beaten not Leonardo DiCaprio because Johnny Depp played Gilbert Grape.

This also does not concern me. Please concentrate on more important things, correction department. That was just me telling the corrections department how to do their business, because we don't really interact that much. The prize bag is got a lot of stuff, is got,

a lot of stuff from me, a CD from someone who's about to come out here, but you got My Smug Life, a copy of a DVD of Super High Me, because it's never too late to promote that movie, and something to watch as a wind-up to Greatest Movie Ever Rolled on 311. And I also included in the bag

the script of Dark Knight Rises, so you can memorize it and be really good at the Lincoln or Bane game. And we got some books that we'll discuss with whoever handed them to me before I came out here. Please

welcome to the show Paul F. Tompkins, Andy Wood, and returning winner Chris Hardwick. Okay. Chris Hardwick. Welcome. I just welcomed myself. I meant to say hello. Welcome to me. Welcome to me.

It is an honor for me to be me. And you're here. This is exciting. I know you have a very busy schedule. It's an honor for me to be me. And you're here. This is exciting. I know you have a very busy schedule. It's Chris Hardwick, everybody. Very busy schedule, and you're here for a second week in a row. I'm very excited about it, but I think the smart money is on Paul F. Tompkins this week. I really do.

I disagree. And I'm Paul F. Tompkins. Yes. Indeed. I disagree. Yeah. And I'm Paul F. Tompkins. Yes. Indeed. Take it from me. Paul F. Tompkins. Well, you know, I got to confess that I knew that it was going to be Chris. I knew that Paul F. Tompkins was coming down.

I said, let's make it an interesting matchup. So I did not call Natasha Leggero. it an interesting matchup. So I did not call Natasha Leggero. I called just an example of someone who thinks movie trivia is stupid. And beneath her.

So I called Andy Wood is here, everybody. A perennial champion. And very appropriately dressed today. I am not at all outclassed by the gentleman who played me. I know. Weird that you picked the week I'm not wearing a hoodie.

That's strange. You're wearing a sweatpants jacket. Doug, are you alright? It's springtime in California. So time to get on your tweed jackets. No offense people listening to this on snow day. Or while watching snow day day That's a great idea

He's gonna win he's gonna do this shit I bet it syncs up yeah watch snow day With Chris Elliot And Chevy Chase Watch it with The wall oh yeah also eat some drugs Or dark side of the moon But that is a fun idea just Just put on a random movie,

start Doug Loves Movies, or any movie podcast, and at some point, some shit is going to link up in a crazy way. What's going to link up? Some actor's name's going to be mentioned, and then they walk in,

and it's a totally different movie we're talking about. What are the odds of that happening? Something will happen. I don't think so. Look at this stupid Wizard of Oz Dark Side of the Moon thing. People will find something

and cling to the idea that, oh, that really syncs up. They're saying that if you watch The Shining backwards and forwards at the same time... Who says that? Which was a film at a festival that I was at last fall, Fantastic Fest. You could sit

there and watch it. I was watching something new that somebody created. But it's that movie played backwards and forwards over each other. And there's all this sort of... So it's showing forwards and they project it backwards over the forward projection. So you see both at the same time,

but you only hear the forward... Oh, well, that's a relief. Yeah. You don't have to hear shit backwards. But there are several points in the movie that people who are into this sort of thing and also think 9-11 was, you know... I don't know if that was Donahue or Todd Glass

that I just did. But either way, things happen in the movie that, like, it's crazy. Like, it looks like somebody walks up to somebody else to give them a kiss and weird shit that makes people go, oh, Kubrick planned this, which is absolutely insane.

That would be such a pain in the ass. Oh, it would be horrible. It would be so hard to do. On the off chance that anyone ever screams this, the regular way with the movie backwards, projected over top of it, I want to make it worth their while. Now, wait a minute.

Okay, I'm with you there, but what if someone wants to take the aspect ratio and flip it vertically? Is the film going to play that way? Look, I don't have all the time in the world. Well, I mean, you know, The Shining definitely has some interesting stuff in there, like the little

boy is wearing a sweatshirt that has a spaceship on it that says USA on it, a rocket. Which proves that Stanley Kubrick was the director of the fake moon landing. Yes, of course it does. What else could it mean? But others

theorize that he put that sweatshirt on that kid to make fun of the people that thought he was the director. No. I don't see that. If you fake a moon landing, you want to plant some clues, obviously, in order to fake it completely effectively. You know why? Because anybody who fakes a moon landing,

they always suffer from moon landing fake guilt syndrome. And so they're always leaving little clues. Oh, ML FGS? I'll take your word for it. He was reading The Shining thinking to himself, this is the perfect script. This is the perfect story for me

to reveal that I really did the moon landing. What a perfect place for me to reveal that information. And he turned down directing Capricorn One. Makes you think. We've got some older audience members tonight. Danny covering up all the footprints. Why are they older?

Capricorn One is a fucking, that's an old poll. Yeah, but I have, isn't O.J. Simpson in that? This whole game is old polls. I'm not kidding, O.J. Simpson is in Capricorn One. See, you thought I was making a joke. By the way, I've never seen that fucking movie. I know so many things as references and only as references that I've never seen.

That's a good reference. I saw Soylent Green two years ago, having had the movie spoiled for me for decades of my life. That probably makes it hard to sit through. It does. Because there's nothing else to it. That's the only reason it's remembered.

That was a pretty decent twist. That and Zardoz is another movie. People keep mentioning Zardoz to me lately. Everyone get off Doug's back about Zardoz. Doug, I'm sorry about this. I get it. Wizard of Oz Zardoz. I get it. Oh, Oz, Zardoz. I get it. Oh, really?

Oh, my God. What? How does Sean Connery be in a weird Speedo and Lady Boots figure into the Wizard of Oz? Because if he clicks those Lady Boots together three times... I didn't even...

I hope lady boots was not offensive in some sort of Seth MacFarlane-y way. I didn't know what else to call them. Okay, I was gonna ask you guys. We might as well get into it.

Let's get into it. What happened on the Oscars? I think it's the first ever presenters discussing pubic hair in the history of the Oscars. There was a lot of records broken. Is that a record? Or, youars. There was a lot of records broken. Is that a record?

You know, milestones. A lot of milestones. I almost did it every year. A lot of milestones were achieved. Like a classic TV character coming down on a screen and interacting with a guy who produces a TV show. That's probably never happened on the Oscars. I did not see the

Oscars because Talking Dead was Sunday nights and so I didn't see any on the Oscars. I did not see the Oscars because Talking Dead was Sunday nights and so I didn't see any of the Oscars. Crazy. A lot of people were like, every year they're like, it's the worst, how could it be? And so everyone says it was so horrible but then I talked to a couple people one-on-one

and they were like, it was fine, I don't know, it wasn't that bad. He had some good jokes. Yeah, I didn't. But then there were all those jokes that made you go, hmm.

I was seeing a joke to make you go hmm. I was C and C of the music factory while watching it. Jokes that make you go hmm. Yeah. Indeed. I will say this. When he did the thing with Ted, the bear, that

conceit, that device of a live person interacting with an animated thing has come a long way technologically. Yes. It has yet to be funny. It was impressive. Yes.

It was impressive. It looked really good. Still not funny. He opened with an awkwardly worded joke about Ed Harris being short. Really? Yes. The bear comes out and he goes,

is Ed Harris here? I can't do the bear's voice. Is Ed Harris here? And Mark Wahlberg's like, no, I don't think he is. It's gentle, Mark Wahlberg. I love that series. It's the happening Mark Wahlberg. It's Gentle Mark Wahlberg I love that series It's the happening Mark Wahlberg

It's the trees It's gotta be the trees It's gotta be the trees I'm the king of me Jack I say when I fuck Jack You're not the king of me You're not the king of me He says Ed Harris isn't there

Which of course Mark Wahlberg would know Because he also works the door You're not the king of me. He says Ed Harris isn't there, which of course Mark Wahlberg would know because he also works the door. You're not the king of me, Doug. He's got the clicker, right? Yeah, he's not. Ed Harris isn't here. And then the bear says, good, then we can take back,

we don't have to leave this stool out here that he's standing on. So you don't have to leave it for the next short person. You know, Ed Harris, famous short person. That shrimp. Did they just skip right past the Ds? DeVito would have been... Fucking mini-me something.

But Ed Harris? I don't know. Short actor? It's such a losing proposition hosting the Oscars. Like, there's no way to win it. One way to win it. One way to win it is not jokes about Ed Harris being short. I guess. Or Ed Harris being far.

But other people in the past didn't make short Ed Harris jokes, and they also got shit on. I just don't think people complained when Johnny Carson or Bob Hope did it. Or when Steve Martin did it. Or Billy Crystal the first few times. But who was going to complain, Doug? There was no social media, no internet, no anything. It was basically like four media outlets.

People didn't even have mouths. Andy, let's get in on this. I have no opinions on this matter. This is the most important thing ever. I think when Steve Martin hosted a while back, I thought he did a really great job. I loved him. With Alec Baldwin, the two of them?

Yeah. No, no, no. It was the year that he hosted by himself. Solo. The one with Alec Baldwin was strange because it's like, why is this happening? Steve Martin had the great joke where he was introducing Ben Stiller.

It was like, you loved him in Meet the Parents, you loved him in something else, and you were fine with him in Mystery Men. That is such a great joke. That was such a great joke. And he got shit too the next day, and Letterman got shit. Like, everyone gets shit. Well, to this day, they're like, well, Seth was better a great joke. And he got shit, too, the next day. And Letterman got shit. Like, everyone gets shit.

Well, Letterman, to this day, they're like, well, Seth was better than Letterman. You know, they, like, still just keep hammering that. And I thought, except for the whole long Uma Oprah thing, Letterman was fine. Because he also kept his shit all very short. Like, Seth MacFarlane was, like, the host that wouldn't leave. Like, he was hanging around a lot.

Like, every time they went to a commercial break, he'd say what was coming up, which is normally just that lady voice. Right. He'd say it, and then he'd throw in another joke that had nothing... Why didn't he have a single thing

about something that had happened during the show? Well, I don't think he's a big in-the-moment guy, right? I guess, but he could have some in-the-moment writers standing around backstage. I think they were all dismissed. Like, when they played the J. Like when they played the Jaws theme, I thought that it would ultimately be Bruce Valanche would run out.

That was the most insulting thing I've ever seen. When they were playing the Jaws theme to play people off. But Bruce was the shark in Jaws, you guys. Excuse me, I'm sorry, Andy. I kicked your leg. I'm so furious about this Jaws theme thing. I thought they'd change it up at least. Do a different, like, you know, like...

I couldn't believe they did it more than once. Something. More than... That wouldn't have made it better. They're in the front row going, one, two, Freddy's coming for you. But that's the second time it happened. I honestly thought...

I honestly had the thought, I cannot believe, and I said this on Twitter, that after the second time it happened I honestly thought I honestly had the thought I cannot believe and I said this on Twitter that after the first time that the people responsible didn't say oh when you see it playing out it's really insulting and horrible

well not only that but here's my resignation the one thing that I did hear was that the you know the visual effects industry is being dismantled and this guy got up to

like all these visual effects houses are laying off tons of people and they're going out of business and Rhythm and Hues, like legendary places and Ashford and Simpson Peaches and Herb Go on, Chris! You know what they need to be, Doug? Reunited

That's a Peaches and Herb song Damn it, you fucking young audiences Go do your Peaches and Herb homework and then come back here. We'll meet back here next week and then we'll all have a laugh about the reference. It is Black History Month, you guys. Do your Peaches and Herb work.

Do your Peaches and Herb work. Is that what you said? Yeah, I did. But I heard they played that guy off. I didn't think anybody heard it. I heard they played that guy off when he was starting to make the visual effects businesses really get the fuck out. Enough, nobody. We have famous people coming up.

The whole thing is weird. I feel like people are acting like I was saying in my own voice, that guy isn't nobody. That is the point I'm trying to make. Is that it was mean. Why are you that character that you just did? Paul, where'd he go?

Hello, I'm a new person. Some of the biggest awards they give out, like they gave out an award to Hal Needham for being awesome and the humanitarian, not the humanitarian award, but they give awards like that and they shuffled that off into another show

but in this show they're still giving out an award for the best documentary short. When have you ever seen a documentary short? They do not play them before movies that we go to. 60 Minutes is all documentary shorts. Why don't they play those before the movies we go to? Well, because they're not documentary shorts, but why not the entertaining shorts?

Because movies are too long. They want to show that extra showing each day, especially with two-hour and 45-minute movies. But then this way, they wouldn't have to pad the movies out if they were using these things to pad out the time. Oh, you think that Tarantino made that movie so long because there wasn't a documentary? Oh, no, he's an insane person.

I'm talking about if you pad out an Avengers to over... That's ridiculous. A movie with fake people in it is over two hours long. People that aren't even there. You can make up that they're not around for as long. Yeah, exactly. It's so easy to do. Also, it's not a true story where you have to include stuff

where it's like, well, people, it'll be a crazy jump in time if we go from Hawkeye being possessed by the aliens to then all of a sudden being on their side. It's barely even based on a book. Everything's based on a book. So much has happened in those comics that nobody can go, I can't believe you left that out.

Doug, it's based on scribble scrabbles for kids. Oh, I forgot. Andy Wood brought, oh, there goes Chris to get his prize for the bag. Andy Wood brought a 2012 Bridgetown get his prize for the bag Andy Wood brought A 2012 Bridgetown Comedy Festival shirt And the It qualifies as vintage now

2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival Is happening in April April 18th to the 21st In Portland, Oregon Go to Portland And watch a lot of great comedy And sketch and things I wish I could be there

But it's April 20 weekend And I've got things to do. What happens then? Celebrate Hitler's birthday. And then, what is this? Who brought this? I brought that also. What is this? Who brought this? What is this shit? What is the meaning of this? What is this Ed Harris-sized book?

It's a tiny book. I like tiny books. Can somebody bring a stool out here for me to put this tiny book on? Was Ed Harris there? Did they cut stool out here for me to put this Oh, here comes Ed Harris tiny book on. Was Ed Harris there? Did they cut him in the audience going, I don't know. I wonder if they meant to have a clip

of him from the Oscars where Ilya Kazan got that Lifetime Achievement Award and he was in the audience with his arms folded. And maybe that was going to be the gag. I don't think so. I'm giving him some credit. But all in all wait you never said what was your

but maybe everyone at the academy hates him so that seeped into Seth's comedy they should all hate each other what was your ultimate comedy was like

what thumbs up thumbs down on Seth what was your ultimate oh I think pretty much the way I feel about Family Guy some of those jokes

were really funny right okay got it it's very he took a very scattershot approach, but it also, he did a whole number about boobs and which ladies have been naked in the movies, and he's singing about, like, the accused,

and, like, it's movies where women are naked because they're being attacked. Oh, Jesus. Boys don't cry. You know, but he was trying to be edgy, and it was, you know, it was, but it was not in the right way. Did the Academy, like, speak out against it or something? No, no.

And he got the best ratings in like three or four years. Oh, wow. Yeah. But he also says, he's already preemptively said he never wants to do it again. Right. Chris, if you'd like to hear more about Seth McFarlane's experience with the Oscars, try the internet. That's where I got

all that shit. I know. When I was writing it on Wikipedia Well I'm curious Wait Paul If I go to the internet to look up Seth's Oscar stuff What kind of stuff will I find Oh you almost got me Don't look up Seth's Oscar junk

That's a totally different That's bad That's a guy whose dick looks like a She saw it It looks like a... She saw it. It looks like an Oscar. Generosity is awesome. Who brought this? I brought that.

What the fuck is this? It's the 33 and a third. It's the book about the Fleetwood Mac album Tusk. But Paul, I'm so confused because there's so many books this week. Listen. Did you bring these books? I brought those.

I'm sorry about those books, Doug. I just thought that these people would like it. Paul brought Laboring Under Delusions, his very successful... That's right. These guys grudgingly nodded

like, meh. I decided against bringing my own comedy album in favor of a book about Tusk. I'm sorry. So you brought these books, Chris? Why did you run backstage to go get the prize when it's sitting right in front of me? I didn't.

I went back to get my backpack because I realized that there's no one back there and weird people just walk in from outside. That is true. And people just appear back there. I'm like, maybe I shouldn't leave my bag back there. Last week there was a weird lady that took somebody's jacket.

But I'm on all these bizarre sci-fi romance novel book lists. It's on the internet, you guys. And so I brought these from, these were sent to me.

This is Fiona McIntosh. So you haven't read these? I've not read those. You know, Fiona McIntosh, she's a Scrivener. Yeah, she is a Scrivener. I assume so. And this is her tale. It's a Scrivener's tale. Yeah, this is her tale. But this read those. You know Fiona McIntosh, she's a Scrivener. Yeah, she is a Scrivener. I assume so.

And this is her tale. It's a Scrivener's tale. Yeah, this is her tale. She went to block Fiona McIntosh, some other guy's tale. Is she friends with Bartleby? Bartleby the Scrivener? They must be. I would prefer not to answer you.

I know people love the Krampus in America. Krampus the Yule Lord. He finally has a book. Well, he also finally got turned from a log into a lord Yep And then this

got sent to me too It's Variety's issue on violence in entertainment Oh fun Right With a gunshot in the middle

With a gunshot in the middle Get it everyone Yep This magazine should have Sticks, sticks, violent picks Worn a

Okay great Yep Thanks Chris A $12 value This magazine should have... Sticks, nicks, violent picks. Worn out. Okay, great. Thanks, Chris. A $12 value. Is that what they want for it? What? I don't know. I figured all of them put together. Oh, I see.

Oh, yeah. You could get that. Chris, thank you. Will Ferrell could get that at his yard show. Thank you for respecting the fact that Fiona McIntosh's Scrivener's Tale, it's an uncorrected proof and it's not for sale. And you're giving it to someone rather than trying to sell it.

Bless you. Were you sneezing or were you having a fit? You were taking over my show. No, I'm just putting everything in the bag and I guess there was dust in the bag. Dust in the bag. Why would anyone here know what that is? I don't know. Everyone here was born after

91. I feel like we're painting ourselves into an old corner, guys. Same old corner. Did we say everything we want to say about anything? Yeah, I think so. I usually ask you guys what movies you've seen. Is anybody dying to talk about what movies they've seen? No.

All right. Then let the games begin. Oh, my gosh. Is that Doug Bainson? It is. There we go. Let's just pick the name tags right now. Let's get that over with.

Go get who you want to play for. Chris has got a TARDIS in his hand already. Wow. Good call on that. I knew that was going to happen, bringing back somebody two weeks in a row that people would know what to bring.

No. Does it make a noise? I hear a woot monkey. I see some cookies. Oreo cookies in a TARDIS box. All right, so... Chris got a TARDIS box. Does it have...

What's your name? Tanya. Tanya TARDIS? Oh, there it is. Tanya! I want to get on you! Oh, she put it in little letters on there. That's cute

Yeah right where It would be public call box And it makes a noise When you open it What does it do Say I'm a new doctor who It should But it doesn't

Shazbot Chris you ran for that You ran for that so fast I feel like You saw the outline of it Before you even saw What it was Yeah that's right

I did Now this one's not working But I do I can just do this. It's my ringtone. So if you want to put the two together, now you have that. That's the TARDIS duck. Sounds like it's just flying around or something.

Now again, TARDIS was a Peaches and Herbs song, correct? Is that what this is? That's right, sweatshirt. Sweatshirt. Special K. Special Katie isatshirt. Special K. Special Katie is mine. Katie. Special Katie.

She wrote her name on a special K box. My favorite cereal. Terrible nickname for a slur girl. Isn't it your favorite cereal? I'm not kidding. I prefer the red berries to the chocolatey delight, but this will do in a pinch. Wait, does it have chocolate in it?

I guess so, yeah. Does he get to keep those? Why isn't that your favorite cereal then? I didn't know. Thank you, Katie. I didn't know it existed. It was berry shit. You're a grown man. You can eat what you like. Special Katie. It says Special Katie on it.

That's really nice. I can't wait to do Talking Dead. I can have just one point just when the shot is on me. Go, so what are we talking about here? Talking Dead? You want to talk about Talking Dead? Walking Dead? Yeah. And then run off and get a bag from backstage? If I ever do it,

they call me. That old studio, I would not have left a bag back there. Not back there, no. No, the old, but the new one's good. I thought I'd never hear from you guys. They called and they asked me for a date, I can't do. Let's not wrestle for control of this box. Okay. It's my name tag. Describe it, please. It's a box of the popular seasonal cookie,

Thin Mints, brought to you by the Girl Scouts. And the person I'm playing for, she calls herself Brits. Thin Brits. Is this the first time that everyone's chosen food? There's food in the TARDIS? Because Doctor Who gets hungry when he's flying around in that thing.

It's double-stuffed Oreos! They're bigger on the inside! That's twice as much stuff! You're supposed to whisper when you fight about Oreos. So... Oh, that commercial. That's right! Reference from now!

These people were born nine minutes ago. These people are from no time whatsoever. Oh. A paradox. This calls for Doctor Who. And some Girl Scout cookies. And this specialist of K's.

This specialist of K's. Alright. Do you think we can play a quick build-a-title because people love it and want to The specialist of case. All right. Do you think we could play a quick build-a-title? Because people love it and want us to do it. All right. So I'm not going to give you guys a lot of time to think on these. It's going to be fast action.

So how do they do it on Jeopardy? The person who won, did they get to go first? Because they won last week? Sure. Okay. I think that's how we're doing it. Okay. In honor of the best picture of Two Oceans 12, according to the Motion Picture Academy,

we are starting with Argo. So you, Chris Hardwick. Right? It sounds impossible. Turns out it's easy. It sounds impossible. Turns out it's easy. It sounds... Okay. Filled a title with one word as the starter title?

That seems very odd, but it works. It's easier, actually. Yeah, right? Maybe? Does it count if I say Fargo? That is correct. All right. Already rhymes.

That's what that deserves. You know what? I thought we were doing the other one for a second. I wondered why you thought the way you thought. I was like, this will what that deserves. You know what? I thought we were doing the other one for a second. I wondered why you thought the way you thought. I was like, this will be so easy. Oh, because ABCD's nuts. Yes. We'd only go through four letters.

Exactly. Yes. I said it was going to be a quick one. Doug, too many. Oh, talking like the variety guy. Yeah. Hey, variety guy here. I'm on a deadline.

And now it goes to me. Uh-huh. And Mr. Hardwick has said far go. Yeah, so you have to do something that ends in far or begins with go. Far Go Lucky Man, starring Malcolm McDowell. He named an actor. It must be a real thing.

It is a real thing. It's not Go Lucky Man. It's Oh Lucky Man. Yeah, but it works. Yeah, I know it. That's why I said it. It's oh lucky man. Yeah, but it works. Yeah, I know it. That's why I said it. I was just clarifying the way you said it. But you said it.

You were clarifying it to me. You said it. Clarify it to these people. I look at the guests during the show when I'm speaking. I don't turn and tell all of them because I'm, you know, the people that are listening to this. You know how it works, Paul. I just shared a moment with this young lady, the Fred Roe.

I looked at her like she was the sitcom camera, as if to say, that Doug. And then she was very unsure what to do and eventually settled on mirroring my reaction. Then we looked at each other for too long. Is that pretty much what happened? Pretty accurate? Yeah. This lady

chiming in. This was between us. I was hoping that it would go Fargo going ape was what I predicted. It's not bad. So it's Fargo Lucky Man.

And then in this game, the word the is irrelevant, right? You can leave out a the. You must drop the the. Fargo Lucky Man Who Wasn't There. Correct. I knew you'd get it. I haven't seen it in a while, but I like that movie. A Bridge Too Far Go Lucky Man Who Wasn't There.

Yes. We'll drop the A in A Bridge Too Far Go Lucky Man Who Wasn't There? Yes. We'll drop the A in A Bridge Too Far. Mr. and Mrs. Bridge Too Far Go Lucky Man. Paul, wake up there. Paul, it's February. Strength training. 2013. Must eat.

The dollar is crashing. Who owes to the Oscars? Who? It's still Seth MacFarlane. It, it's February. Strength training. 2013. Must eat. The dollar is crashing. Who owes to the Oscars? It's still Seth MacFarlane. It's still going on. Was it there? So beginning with there, ending with mister. Gorillas in the mister and Mrs. Bridge

too far go lucky man who wasn't there. So Chris, ending in gorillas. Which is always appropriate. who wasn't there. So Chris, ending in gorillas. Which is always appropriate. Or beginning with there. Gorillas in the mist. You don't have to know the whole thing. Oh, okay.

I thought that was part of the game. It's fun sometimes, but we're in a hurry. Man who wasn't there, she goes. Who's in that? I don't know. It's the title of a popular song from the 90s. I figured someone made a movie out of it. Nice try.

No Graham Elwoods in this game. Palm Strike. You're out. Paul? Are Gorillas in the Mr. and Mrs. Bridge? What was the rest of it? The bridge. Too far. rest of it? The bridge. God damn it, it works.

It fucking works. Yeah, it does work. But this is unprecedented. Doesn't mean it's not. I feel like I did this before. You probably did. You probably did. But we can play that.

Just recreate the whole thing. Fargo Rill is in the Mr. Fargo. whole thing. Fargo Rillas. A bridge to Fargo Rillas and the Mr. Fargo. We'll see what did you have in mind when it was just Argo the first time. What were you thinking? You probably had something in mind. It's a Mandelbrot. Well, it's just Argo now,

not Fargo, right? Yeah, just Argo. Let's do Dark Star Go. Is that a movie? Yeah, that works. Dark Star. I think. Yeah. Yeah, Dark Star Go. Science fiction classic. Why don't you go Fargo, right? Did you say Fargo? Just Argo. Let's do Dark Star-go? Is that a movie? Yeah, that works. Dark Star. I think. Yeah. Yeah, Dark Star-go. Science fiction classic.

Why don't you go Fargo? Oh, yes. Or Key Largo. No, but if you did Fargo, we could have done the exact same thing and just keep building on it. You guys would have loved that, right? That would have been the best entertainment.

Or A Gentleman's Embargo. Not really a title. I still contend that Donnie Dargo would have been. Donnie Dargo. No, I'm glad you went with Embargo. Not really a title. I still contend that Donnie Dargo would have been. No, I'm glad you went with Dark Stargo. That works. So, Paul, ending in dark or beginning with there?

Don't be afraid of the dark. Star, go, etc, etc. Who was in that? I don't remember. You're out. That's absolutely a movie. I thought... Katie Holmes.

Oh, Katie Holmes? I thought it was a TV series. It's about the Tooth Fairy. Oh, there must be two of them. Are you afraid of the dark as a TV series? Is it? Is it an R.L. Stine joint?

You guys all sound like you kill people. Doug, you went too far with that one. I just made that up. I made it up. Where are we? What's happening? It's to Mr. Wood. Ends with don't or begins with...

Ends with don't or begins with there. I think we might have a winner, Paul. There and again. There and again? That's not even English. Those are just words. Yeah. You know that Lifetime movies don't count, right?

Yeah, I don't know if that's a movie. It's not worth looking up. It doesn't matter, but it does mean that Paul Tompkins is a winner of Build a Title. I mean, just foreshadowing what's going to happen in the competition. Oh, I don't know. So what order do we go in there? We came across that way. Oh, Jesus Christ, there will be blood.

You're right. Oh, wow. Does that guy have a microphone? He's mad that you didn't think of the movie that you're in. It wasn't his call to make. The man who wasn't there will be blood. Sorry, I liked what I did, Sam. He still won.

Oh yeah, he did still win. But he didn't win the way that I wanted him to win. Sam Levine, a.k.a. Lil Wolverine. Oh, that was Sam Levine. He can't just be in the audience Can you? S.A. double M Listen Ed Harris

You're dead to me since you shaved your side chops Lil Wolverine Okay He's gonna be on the show again soon though Cause I like I like winners Did that come out wrong? We'll start with you, Paul,

and then we'll go to Chris, because we were going the other way. Sure. You get to pick a category, Paul, between... Or among. There and again. There and again.

There and again. How often am I on this podcast? There and again. There and again. There and again. How often am I on this podcast? There and again. There and again. Now away. What? Okay, there, I got it. All right.

Here's your three options, Paul. Would you like legal in Mexico? That's motion pictures that just turned 13. Movies that are, it was 13 years ago that they came out. Jesus H. Christ. I know. I didn't even say who submitted it because it's also a groaner. At Crunchy Jim Sock.

Celebrating a birthday today is past and future guest Steve Agee. So the films of Steve Agee. And at Randy Lawson, our friend out in the Philadelphia area, suggested I know what you did last supper.

And it's religion-themed movies. I would like to choose I Know What You Did Last Supper. Okay. Two and a half stars from Leonard. Okay. I'm gathering the information. It's good to have you back on the show, Trivia Robot.

The year is 2006. Facts collected. The year is 2006. And Mr. Malton calls this a familiar saga. He says that the screenwriter gets credit but they fail to credit the original author so that's fun that he said that about a religious you mean the lord

whoever Leonard thinks made up this story and he also says it has a detailed script I know terrible clues as per usual and he lists seven names. How many names do you think you can get it in,

all of Tompkins? I think I can name that movie in four names. Oh, man. Why are you so sad about it? I don't, that's, you just jumped right to four. There's only seven. I know, but I would have about it. I don't, that's, you just jumped right to four. There's only seven. I know,

but I would have said six. Maybe you can get in that box and go to another time. Um. You can get in that box and go there and again. Oh. The adventures we shall have. That would be a good title of a Doctor Who episode, right? There and again. Oh. The adventures we shall have. That would be a good title of a Doctor Who episode, right?

There and again. Why not? Here and once. All right. I guess. Fourth what? I'll say three. I'll say three.

Three, he says. Andrew Wood. Andrew Wood. I, at the risk of negative one. Negative one. Oh! Negative one. At the risk of what? Keeping on doing that thing that you hate that I do when I'm on this podcast.

Oh, is you overbid? I just do negative one a lot. I don't know. And I hate that? Maybe not. I guess I thought you did. No, just wear a jacket next time. That's really all Doug asked of the contestants.

Show some respect. Exactly. This is the jacket of a soccer coach. All right, Paul. What are you going to do with that negative one bid? That's what I would do with it. Yeah. Well, I am, if it's the movie that I think it is,

I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. On the topic of religion, it's a movie. Okay. religiously moving. So just for fun, I'll say negative two names. Two people floored by the action.

The rest in a coma. Did I already ask you, Chris, if you could be here next week? No, you haven't asked me yet. I'm not going to win tonight. I'm just a little foreshadowing. And even if I get close, I'm going to throw the match just so I can... He just said negative two. Yeah, I see.

Okay, negative 19, 2006. I don't know why I feel like I'm doing calculations in my head. I'm going to carry the one. All right, NTM, name that movie. All right. Thanks for shortening it, but then also saying it. Yeah, I made it twice as long.

I'm going to say, is the first name Mel Gibson? Wait, start with the name of the movie. Oh, start with the name of the movie? Yeah, yeah. Is it The Passion of the Christ? And then who are the top two billed people? Mel Gibson.

And then who? Meadowlark Lemon. Is it not? Who am I thinking? No, it's Oscar Isaac. Oscar Isaac. And Keisha Castle-Hughes and the movie's called

The Nativity Story. Chris Hardwick gets the point. Did you the movie's called The Nativity Story. Oh. Chris Hardwick gets the point. What did, did you, you didn't think it was The Nativity Story? The Globetrotters van. You didn't think you knew it?

Jim Caviezel, I was gonna say Passion of the Christ. Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say Jesus Dredd. I forgot to fucking know Gibson wasn't in it.

He just directed it. I really got that wrong. I got it super wrong. Yeah, you really wronged that one up. All right, Doug, it's one thing when I say it. You're the dumbest. Okay, so that means that Chris got the point. So we'll start with Andy and then move towards Chris, who challenged Paul.

Andy, would you like In Theaters Now, Tango Unchained, which is Sylvester Stallone gets out of prison, or Dom and Dahmer, which is motion pictures about serial killers?

I like Tango Unchained. Okay. Let's do that one. Who doesn't? We're about to find out. 1993. Two and a half stars for this movie that has Sylvester Stallone in it,

and he gets out of prison, and Leonard says it's fast, surprisingly funny. He also calls it a blood letter. And I've written those. It's painful. But they're surprisingly funny. And he names seven people in the cast.

Let me double check. Yes, they're all people. How many do you think you can get it in? And, eh, negative three. I forgot that I hate you, but you're reminding me now. I'm supposed to pretend like I haven't seen this movie. I was 16 years old. Don't say too much.

What's going to happen? What's going to happen? I don't know. I think we go to Chris. I know what the movie is, but I don't know what the fourth name is, so I don't know if I'm going to be able to name them in order. So I think I'm just going to have to have Andy

name that movie. All right, Andy. Let's hear it. The movie is Demolition Man. And the stars are Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and Sandra Bullock. You son of a bitch. I knew, yeah.

I was gonna... Now, let me ask you this. Can I ask you just to see if I would've been right? Is the fourth name Benjamin Bratt? No. He's the fifth. Dennis Leary? Is it Taco Bell? No. He's the not at all. It would've been the guy who played the villain.

Nigel Hawthorne. Nigel Hawthorne. Shit. Yeah, I wouldn't have gotten it. That's so fucking frustrating. You had to pick three. You sweatshirted cock. A lot of... Whoa. I didn't love it, but I saw it. It was a fun movie. You're on the record to say you loved it. There was so much Taco Bell in that movie.

So much Taco Bell. People can rewind it and hear you say it again. That joke about the seashells and the toilet paper. If you saw a Taco Bell commercial that had a Dennis Leary rant in it, you'd also think that was a great movie. Oh yeah, that's right.

I'm a simple man. What if Rob Schneider and a spaghetti robot rolled on in here right now? That was Judge Dredd. Oh, wasn't it? What's the difference, really? That's the one I'm thinking of that I love. That's the one.

You didn't make it better. Yeah, just stay out of it. Oh, you guys, I didn't love that stupid demolition, man. I love Judge Dribb. Okay, so... Cliffhanger, though, seriously, you guys. It's a good movie. Go hang off a cliff.

That sounds good, Paul. We'll start with you, Paul. Sure, who cares? Fun watching other people play this game. Paul and then Chris. Paul gets to pick. Martial art films. That's films directed by

Penny or Gary Marshall. Right. The hoity-toity-er ones. Bruno Mars. That's Bruce Willis in space. Now see, how do so many people in this young audience get that he called himself Bruno when he made that dumb

album a million years ago? I think they're enjoying the current Bruno Mars part of it. And then just putting it together. They know those words. Doug also has a way of just saying things funny, even if you don't know what the reference is. It's true.

Mars is in space, and Bruno's a common nickname for people named Bruce. No. Who do Seagram's golden wine cooler commercials at the height of their movie star drama I know what you did last summer

and that's motion pictures that were released last summer I was hoping it was the films of Summer Glau just cause you're in it I'm not in it you're in that one

isn't she the thing in the movie you're in no she was in the Terminator TV series and I was in Terminator 3 who was the lady Term thing in the movie you're in? No, she was in the Terminator TV series, and I was in Terminator 3. Who was the lady Terminator in the one you were in? Kristana Loken. She was the Terminatrix.

She was the Terminatrix. That's what they called her, the Terminatrix. That's right. The TX. Um, I want... Is it Marshall Law? The Thanks. Marshall Law?

Huh? Marshall Law? Jesus Christ. What was the first one with Penny and Gary Marshall? That one. Yeah, Marshall Law Jesus Christ what was the first one with Penny and Gary Marshall that one yeah Marshall Law the year is 1990 ooh Doug

you're setting the scene this was directed by I'm a regular Garrison Keillor this is directed by Penny or Gary three and a half stars very generous

no matter what. Paul, I'm going to stand up to you on that. I think it's about right. Okay. Because it's powerfully affecting. And it also is based on a book. And you have... Oh.

Twelve names. Powerfully effective, based on a book, 1990. Three and a half stars from Leonard. And I'm with him. How many names? A lot. Twelve, twelve, twelve. how many names a lot I can name that 12 12 12 I can name that movie

in zero name I was almost gonna open up those cookies and start eating I thought I had that kind of time I apologize

zero names Chris name that movie is that movie from 1990 I thought I had that kind of time. I apologize. Zero names, Chris. Name that movie. Is that movie from 1990? Mm-hmm. Is it the movie Big? No, Big was like 80... 88, I think.

Oh, what time of day did it come out? Shut the fuck up, Chris. Can you come back next week, Chris? I may be able to come back next week, Doug. Because the movie, the powerfully effective three and a half star movie is Awakenings. That's right. Know it all. We're with you with your negative seven.

Yeah, number one. I'll take a win off a failure. I don't give a shit. All right, Tanya. I'll bring it in Levine next week. Everybody's happy. I will bring you down with Sam Levine. I'm going to pick through the remains of your failures next week

and not answer any of my own movies, Sam Levine. Fuck yeah, I'll take a bye. It feels so good to win this way. Not having any knowledge of anything and just telling people to name something they can't name. It's a good win. It really feels good. It's about strategy, Chris.

Does it make you less of a man? Are you vining this? You heard when I do that. Because you just had your finger on the thing and I saw the green progress bar. I will smash that phone like a box of cereal. You guys got any plugs? We gotta get going. Any plugs at all?

Yes. Paul, what's coming up? What are you doing? April 2nd through 13th, I will be at the Soho Theater in London, England. I love it. I want to play there.

Why don't you? I might. All right. Keep it cagey, Doug. On Paul's British tour, there and again. I don't have anything on the books or anything. We need some

shitheads out of both of these people. What else you got, Paul? I try to tell you Brits. That's it. I'm sorry. Did I have to have more? No, no. Also, podcasts. Check them out. Check out podcasts. James Darwin won one. He will be there on This American Life.

I want someone to be listening to this podcast going, I'm not a fan of podcasts. Where's Brz at? Britz? Britz? Brit? Yeah, just come over here and write down a name of anyone you want me to call a shithead. You don't have to write it on the box of cookies. And then where's Katie at?

Katie, if you could come down here and write something down. I apologize to both of you for having losers playing on your behalf. But it's only loser in the sense that they lost this one game that meant everything. Oh, she's putting it right on the line

provided. And also thank you for wearing the Freddy Cougar sweatshirt. It's very nice of you since we were going to mention it anyway. Her sweater reminds me of Zoom. The TV series Zoom. Going to Zoom, Zoom, Zoom. Alright guys, let's talk about stuff

from the 20s. Remember Cathode Ray 2? Andy Wood, Bridgetown Festival. And also I host a podcast called Probably Science with Matt Kirshen. That's right, Matt's backstage probablyscience.com great dude wrote a great piece

about the onions little misstep and Chris Talking Dead Sunday Nights Nerdist TV show BBC America coming back March 30th

premiere of Doctor Who and then we're on that night and then stand up dates on nerdist.com all over the country that's it you got shit going on but you gotta be here again

next Tuesday at 7pm. Oh, my burden is to be a winner all the time. Yeah, it's not... You're gonna have to bring some more books. That's no problem. I can bring you all the weird sci-fi romance novels. More shit you don't want. Well, Krampus isn't a romance novel.

He doesn't find love at Christmas time. I was going to beat you with my stick. But there's something about your eyes. Santa brings you presents, I shit in your mouth. That's good. I'll put that as the caption for the picture when I tweet it. That's what Chris

was saying. That's why his mouth's open. I've got stand-up at Comedy Works in the state of Denver on March 9th. It's a great state, Denver. It's a little joke from the show. That's at 420 on March 9th. And then I'm going to do Douglas Movies

on March 10th at 420. And same drill at the Punchline in Atlanta on March 23rd and 24th. And thank you guys for being here. We'll see you next week, Chris. I'm sorry I ruined your Denver is a state joke. I'm dumb. I'm sorry. It's not really a joke.

So it's just sort of a reference. And as always. Do you know what it is, Paul? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. One time I slipped up and I made a category where I said, it was a category about states, and I picked the movie Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead.

Okay. And then it just sort of stuck, the expression State of Denver. That was the one episode I didn't hear. I say it and hashtag it, and TJ Miller loves it. Okay. You know how that goes. Well, so then I capped on the time that you did that, not just now. I was going back to the source.

Yeah, you were back capping. Okay, good. This is like memento. Quick, write it on your skin. As always, Hayden Pantier is a shithead. Maker of panties, Hayden. And I hope and pray the person

who wrote this down already had this in mind before she got here Ed Harris is a shit head