Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Chris Hardwick, and "Werner Herzog" Guest

Episode Date: March 21, 2013

Doug welcomes Paul F. Tompkins, returning Leonard Maltin Game winner Chris Hardwick, and "Werner Herzog" to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azod-pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles

on Tuesday, March 19th, 2 Oceans 13. Since last I spoke and you listened, I had a blast at South by Southwest in Austin, Texas. I was only there for three nights, but I caught six movies. The Bounce Back, Kiss of the Damned, Yellow, Zero Charisma, and Cheap Thrills. Okay?

And on St. Paddy's Day, I sat in with Master Pancake for a movie mock of Leprechaun. Yeah, Leprechaun, a great movie. If you like your movies, not great. And out of the South by Southwest movies I saw, I liked four of them, four out of the five. And my favorite was Cheap Thrills,

featuring past and future Douglas Movies guest Dave Koechner. Yesterday we recorded a dining with Doug and Karen that is available now on iTunes or at inertist.com with marijuana lager, Tony Kameen, and the dudes from the Egg Slut Truck, which is a good one. I recommend it. Now it's time for, oh, this is a bad segue.

Now it's time for Not For Metaphobes. Egg Slut Truck for Metaphobes. Eggslide truck for metaphobes. I haven't seen it yet, but according to Ian Manka on Twitter and Zach Lunch on Twitter, the incredible Burt Wonderstone has a guy throwing up when he sees Jim Carrey lying on hot coals.

This has been Not For Metaphobes. holes. This has been Not For Metaphobes. Incredible Burt Wonderstone edition. There's a few tickets left to see me do stand-up this Saturday at 420 in Atlanta at the Punchline. Douglas Movie Sunday is sold out.

And for LA stand-up fans, I will be telling jokes at Flappers in Burbank on Thursday, March 28th at 10 p.m. with special guests, and we'll play some Leonard Maltin game with audience members. Jordan, bring your baseball, is what I'm saying.

How you feeling? I heard you were sick tonight. You're hanging in. All right, you weren't there at the front of the line when I walked up. I lost my shit. My're hanging in. Alright. You weren't there at the front of the line when I walked up. I lost my shit. My good luck charm. What's gonna happen? Just a regular show.

Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. It's a Comedy Central duffel bag thingy that I don't want. And inside it's got like a copy of Smug Life and oh a beautiful

really nice 311 cruise beach towel that's kind of ostentatious. Maybe you'll like hang it up on the wall or something. And then of course you know who the returning champion is tonight and uh he

brought some cool stuff so let's just get everybody out here and we'll talk about uh the rest of the prize bag uh please i know i don't normally like to have an open door policy on this show but when an internationally renowned filmmaker becomes available, you gotta go ahead and have an open door policy. So everybody, please help me in giving a big warm welcome to Chris Hardwick, Paul F. Tompkins, and Werner Herzog! Thank you!

Very exciting. Oh, there's a Douglas movie shirt in there. And let's see what you guys brought. This is... Oh! We'll just's see what you guys brought. This is... Oh! Well, let's get right to you, sir. Thank you for being here and bringing a copy of your film, Incident at

Loch Ness. Doug, thank you for having me on your show. It's a pleasure to be here. Incident at Loch Ness is not my film, per se. It's a pleasure to be here. Incident at Loch Ness is not my film per se. It's a film in which I act, but did not direct. Wow, but your name's right there on the top of the packaging,

so they're really selling it on your appearance in it. My agent fought hard for that, to get my name above the title. And on the back, you're holding a camera, as if you are making a film. My agent fought hard for that to get my name above the title. And on the back, you're holding a camera as if you are making a film. Yes, we're having a bit of fun. It's a docudrama about myself and Zach Penn, the screenwriter of Elektra. Travel to investigate the Loch Ness Monster. And this is a story of what might have happened

if we did such a thing in earnest. Well, thank you for being here. It is my pleasure. In earnest. I also, as you do, I love movies as much as nature hates and wishes to destroy mankind. Well, thank you. Paul F. Tompkins has been patiently

waiting to say hello to everybody. Not that patiently. Hello to everybody. Does he talk, how do you feel when he talks? I feel like things are going too slowly when he speaks. I'm sorry to bring that up right in front of you. It's a thing that I get a lot. I'm sorry, sir, to bring that up right in front of you like that. It's a thing that

I get a lot. It doesn't bother me, actually. I think it's very soothing. As soothing as a German voice can be. And you brought... He just gave you a look. You brought a copy of... That was just in the stage direction.

You weren't supposed to read that part. Of Laboring Under Delusions, your CD. Doug, that's right. I did. You asked me to bring something and that's the thing that I brought. That's in the prize bag. And of course, returning Leonard Moulton game winner

Chris Hardwick, everybody. I'm sorry I had to miss last week. I was at South by Southwest. But it's been really fun to be what I'm going to guess is the new permanent fixture on Doug Loves Movies. How crazy would that be if you never lost?

And I feel really... I felt really bad for Sam Levine. He was really... He was joking about it on Twitter, but in a way that was like, I'm just bad for Sam Levine. He was really he was joking about it on Twitter, but in a way that was like, ha ha, I'm just having fun with it. It's great that he boxed me out. It's fucking great. I could tell that he was really He wasn't having fun. But to be fair, Sam lost because

he thought it would be funny to steal the seat that I normally sit in. Had he just taken the seat that he should have sat in, I would not have been able to I'm not even going to say box him out. Play the game correctly, I think would be... Is Sam here tonight? I don't think so, no.

Oh my God, I'd be scared if he was. So I apologize to Sam Levine, but I was just playing... Because he can beat anyone with movie trivia, except for maybe Werner Herzog. Well, that's... How do you feel about the Leonard Maltin game, Werner? Do you think you'll do well or know what's happening?

I am unfamiliar with this game, but... I am a quick study and... Oh, okay, okay, good. I do enjoy games of trivia and, in fact fact anything that proves how trivial life is. Paul F. Tompkins and Chris Hardwick really holding back during that

when that guy, sir, when you... He doesn't give you a space to jump in. It's just like there's no punctuation in the sentences. Yeah, it's like he just keeps... He keeps an even keel with the sentences so you're not really sure

when it's over. It's like trying to jump on a train while it's moving. You can't... Like in the days of the Great Depression. Exactly. I apologize.

We usually don't talk about our guests that much right in front of them, but it's just we're all excited to have you here. It doesn't seem as if you are excited. It seems as if you are

bordering on the impolite. That is true. You don't seem to be expressing much excitement. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, let's have a huge hand for Werner Herzog. Fitz Corraldo. Danke schön.

Do you know... Grizzly man. For Fitz Corraldo, I had asked weird Al Yankovic... I was hoping this wouldn't happen. I had asked him if he would write a parody of Desperado, but put Fitzcarraldo in there. Okay. And he refused.

So Chris brought an amazing item for the bag. Not that everything hasn't been great, but... Oh, shit. Chris brought an amazing item for the bag. Not that everything hasn't been great, but oh, shit. Oh, my God, an actual zombie is here. Guy just yawned and a demon came out. This is, what is this, Chris? Walking Dead. What are we looking at here, Chris? It's the Walking Dead first season on Blu-ray.

It's like a special edition of The Walking Dead. Yeah, a nice box that says, Don't open dead inside. That's right. Or don't dead open inside, if you read left to right. But yeah, I think it should be don't open dead inside from the first episode.

What about dead don't inside open? If you read Hebrew. Guys. You know what? I like to play word anagrams. I like to scramble up sentences with the words. We all love to play word anagrams.

Chris? Does Werner hurt? Yeah, how do you feel, Werner, about word anagrams? I'm more of a jumble man myself. Did you... What's the deal with in the motion picture Jack Reach Around

you Reacher you play apologies I'm just used to saying it that way ever since the day I bought my ticket it's fun to have fun yes and in that movie you play a rather fun

villain who it turns out cut off his own finger. And so it's special effects, because obviously I can see you have all your fingers. I have all of them and a couple extra. I carry one of Klaus Kinski's fingers in my pocket at all times. What's going on with that guy? I haven't seen Klaus in a while.

He is dead. This may explain his absence from your cinema screens. It's been a while too, right? Yes. So you got his fingers way before Jack Reacher. Is that why you were cast? Because you were finger ready?

Now that I think of it, it may not even be Klaus's finger. It's just a finger that he handed to me one day. How many fingers did the hand that handed it to you have? That would have been a clue. I wish I'd thought to stop and count once. Of course, I'm kicking myself now that I have not counted the fingers

on every hand that has handed me something. A finger. A finger, more specifically. Certainly that is the example that jumps to the top of the pile. And Chris, you brought a t-shirt that says something on it? It's a t-shirt from Legendary Entertainment.

The Legendary t-shirt and the something on it? It's a t-shirt from Legendary Entertainment. Yes. It's a Legendary t-shirt and the Walking Dead first season Blu-ray. Chris, what do the good folks at Legendary Entertainment bring us entertainment-wise? Well, they bring us such films as The Hangover and Dark Knight and Inception. These are big deal movies. Yes. Yeah, I would say so. I saw the trailer for Hangover 3 today.

It looks really funny. Looks great, but PETA's not going to be happy. No. I don't know if they actually scalded giraffes. Do you think they care about giraffes? When are they ever happy? That's true. They're not.

You're right, Doug. They probably don't care about giraffes. They're like, we want to protect all animals. Fuck giraffes. Like, you know, come on. Too weird. Too weird. And the trailer, Dr. Ken Jeong

is trying to smother some sort of bird of some kind. It's a quick shot, but that's what I made out. That's what happened in my head. Does that one dude get lost again? I don't think so.

Maybe he gets lost, but they don't have blackout drunk scenario this time, I don't think.. Maybe he gets lost, but they don't have blackout drunk scenario this time, I don't think. I think it's just the ongoing adventures. For some reason, Zach's character has a lot of money now, so the jokes are all about... That's why Pete is going to be mad,

because he bought a giraffe, and then he's driving down the highway, and then there's a little bridge. You know what would happen. I'm kind of curious to know what Werner Herzog thought of The Hangover. Yeah, did you see The Hangover films, Werner? I enjoyed these films

greatly. Stories of mentally ill people destroying themselves. It shows us what a folly life is. That's a common theme in your work, I think. It's a common theme in your work, I think.

It's the only theme in my work. Paul, have you been to the movies lately? I don't... Let's go to Chris. Chris, have you... Fair enough. I've not been to the movies recently. You want to come back to me?

Yes, please. How's he looking now? What is the last movie that I've seen? I don't know. What? The Last Stand? We did do the movie interruption of The Last Stand, the latest unnecessary Schwarzenegger movie.

Yes. It was really weird how inconsequential it all was. It shouldn'tger movie. Yes. It was really weird how inconsequential it all was. It shouldn't have happened. Yeah. No one was asking for that, right? Were you in that? Was Werner in that one? Was Werner?

We just saw it. He wasn't, right? I was not in the last stand. I'm a bit choosy when it comes to scripts. You know the whole time they were making that movie, though, when he was governor, he was like, oh, as soon as I'm done with this governor shit, I'm going to be back on top of the box.

They were just planning and planning and planning. And I'm sure when they were shooting that, we're like, oh my God, Schwarzenegger, Knoxville, America's going to fucking love this. Knoxville. And then America was just okay with it. If that. Yeah, they just didn't.

I think that the youngins that buy the movie tickets are too young to care or know who he is. He's been not a movie star for a decade. And he's also, that was an era that just doesn't exist anymore. That era of, I saw some movie that Bruce Willis was in just on Netflix that I never even came out in the theater.

I'm like, Oh, but Bruce Willis is doing like straight to, you know, straight to VOD or straight to video stuff. Now. I mean like that whole era of guys is, uh,

I guess that's over now. Although I saw a commercial for a Stallone movie today, which I, I totally forgot about him. Right. But he has a new movie that's coming out in the theaters in America. It came out, Bullet to the Head. Maybe it's already out on DVD.

Did I see a commercial for the DVD release? Maybe. I don't know. Because the movie's been out and not successful. Is the tagline, Revenge Never Gets Old? Because that was said in this commercial. And that's one of those things that's not really a play on anything.

No. They were going to do, I'm too tired for this shit. It's going to be really on the nose someday. Revenge is when you get back at people. Yeah, I guess it is. It's me or you. How about revenge? You're only wasting your own life

with wanting to destroy someone else's. Generally, they like something a little tighter, like a little snappier. I would put a colon in there somewhere. It tightens it right up. It just tightens it right up. Just tightens it right up. You do have a... There is a colon in one of your

titles, I believe. Yes. Two. I have two colon titles. Aguirre, the Wrath of God, and Bad Lieutenant, colon, Port of Call, New Orleans. I still haven't seen that, but I... You simply must.

I'm very excited about it. As someone who enjoys drugs more than human interactions, I think you will find it exciting. I saw Spring Breakers today. How was it? And it's makes you feel a little sad

a lot of the time, but in a kind of a cool way. I only just realized it was the guy, I just read that it was the guy who wrote Kids, which I didn't realize. Harmony Corrine? Yes. Harmony Corrine? Yeah. Yeah. He's making movies out there. Hey, y'all gonna see that new Harmony Korine? Yes. Harmony Korine? Yeah. Yeah, he's making movies out there.

Hey, y'all gonna see that new Harmony Korine movie? He goes out in the backyard, makes a movie with a bunch of pretty girls. Yeah, I'm gonna get some Coca-Cola and some popcorn. Watch that Harmony Korine movie. Not ironically, he also wrote Gummo. Which, ooh, a woo for Gummo. He directed Gummo, which... Sure. Ooh, a woo for Gummo. He directed Gummo, I think. And Gummo, of course,

was the story of the, like the, you know, the misunderstood Marx brother. Right, yeah. Finally, someone brought that to the screen. That's right. Told as an allegory

through a bunch of rednecks who light animals on fire. Sure. But was Spring Breakers, because I know that core group of young Disney actresses, I'm sure they were so

ready to be like, look at our tits, we're adults. Was it that kind of movie where they were trying, do you think they're going to be taken seriously as adult actresses now? They're going to be fine just because they're, you know, they'll be fine. They're so famous that they're going to get work and, you know, do things. But you got to love them for doing this.

Do you? Yeah. Yeah. If you're a total creep, you got to appreciate like all the pervs out there like getting it. It's just handed on a platter. Here you go. This is. Wait, you're making the case you got to love this?

No, I'm sure you would hate it. It can be an excruciating experience if you don't want to see an up-close look at what's going on at spring break. I got a lot of respect. They're handing their nudity to pervs on a silver platter. You know what I heard was that at the premiere the other night, Marilyn Manson

set off a smoke bomb. He still got it. I understand he's just gone on to Amazon and ordered a potato gun. You understand that to be a thing? Yes. I'm making a joke about some pranks. Yeah, they really are handing it to pervs on a silver platter,

whereas pervs used to just survive on, like, red carpet nip slips or accidental... Table scraps. Okay. Yeah. That's how pervs got by. Red carpet table scraps. This one's for the pervs.

But the movie was not good at all, or was it somewhat entertaining? No, he's a good director. It's flashy, and you know... Is it as good as Gremlins? It's got music in it. These Disney actresses, you can't see them after midnight.

You have to... They didn't get wet, did they? Because that's how they reproduce. Oh, they get wet. Uh-oh. Was it sort of They didn't get wet, did they? Because that's how they reproduce. Oh, they get wet. Was it sort of flashy? Was it flashy like wild things or gritty flashy? It was...

What type of flashy was it? A little of both. He's a stylish filmmaker, as it turns out. The way that a robbery scene is staged is extremely clever. I admire his work. I just wonder why. Like I was

interested the whole time but I feel the same way about like Project X last year. There's just something about just a movie trying to be balls out that's like usually kind of interesting to me. Wasn't that also the title of the Matthew Broderick film with the monkey?

Balls Out? Balls Out? No, that was the volleyball thing with... What? Side Out, you're thinking with Peter Horton and C. Thomas Howell. Where did that come from? I wasn't thinking of anything. I don't know.

I was completely lost at that point. That doesn't ring a bell. Doug loves movies. Project X. Project X with Helen Hunt and Matthew Broderick. Yeah. Thank you, Chris Hartwig. Happy to help out, Werner.

Why did that come up? Because you said Project X. It turns out there's two movies with the title Project X. There we go. You have to explain it to her. I had moved on, though, I think. So that's where... That's what happened there.

My apologies. I did not realize you'd gone through all five stages of grief. With Project X. It should have been a blockbuster, the Project X with Matthew and a monkey. It did all right. Just okay. I liked it because in the movie

the monkey is in a laboratory and not outliving his life. All right. Let's, you know, get ready for some games. Gentlemen, please choose your name tags. get ready for some games. Gentlemen, please choose your name tags. Who do you want to play for?

Werner, you just go out into the crowd along with Paul and Chris and pick whatever name tag speaks to you. Chris has a lot of dialogue with everybody. Someone was chosen by Werner,

and then Paul got somebody. Or the other way around. Warren says he loves movies. He just wrote on a cup. Chris is upset someone just wrote on a cup. The other two guests picked a lot faster than... Doesn't seem... Chris likes to read the fine print before he gets involved with a name tag.

So what do you got there, Chris? I got a young man named Justin who took the What About Bob poster and put What About Justin on there. And then he put a post-it with a shithead on it? Yeah. Okay, so you can just pass that to me. We'll have that for at the end if you do not win for Justin.

How many weeks in a row will this be, Chris? Will this be your fourth win tonight? This is my fourth. Well, I don't know if I'm going to... I'm saying if you win tonight. If I win, it would be my fourth, yeah. Okay, and Paul is playing for Twin Sheiks Firewalk

with Tyler. It really grabbed me because I don't get it at all. I really would love to try to map the logic path on this. Peaks rhymes with sheiks. Got it. Firewalk with me. I get it.

His name is Tyler. Firewalk with Tyler. Are we supposed to know who these guys are? It's one sheik. Well, it's one sheik. It's the same picture of the same guy twice. So it really is just a rhyming fun thing. Sort of, which he's put onto a very nice

display board like a science fair. It looks like something you'd take to a restaurant if you want a little privacy when you're eating alone. I'm going to use it to get a suntan. I re-watched Twin Peaks recently and that last episode, I'm here to tell you,

is still just about as terrifying as anything has ever been. I was a grown man watching it on a machine at the gym. And I was like, the horrifying. I started to pedal faster. Did you like that movie, Werner?

The movie Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me. Of course. Or the television series that Paul was talking about. I like the film better because not only am I in the world of film, but also the title features a colon.

You love those colons. I'm fond of them. My dream is to insert a semicolon into a film title. Who are you playing for today? I am playing for a young lady. What's this name tag you picked out? It looks like birth control pills. Yes, I'm trying to tell you.

It's a young lady. You seem enraged now. I have never been this furious in my entire life. Please, calm down and just tell me who you're playing for. Allow me to center myself. Nine, ten. I am playing for a young lady named Zina who has offered me this full complement of pills.

She hasn't taken today's yet. She has two to take every day according to this schedule that is imprinted on the back of the box. And she has yet to take any of the pills. Perhaps they are nighttime pills and not daytime pills. What are the pills, Zena?

Cytolopram. What is that? Cytolopram. Fram. It's a pill that keeps you from turning into a lizard monster. Well, she might start to shift in a minute. We better get those back to her then. Let's just hang on to them for the game.

When do you take them? Do you take them during the day or at night? Or as needed? At night. You're being very cagey about these pills that you were shaking in the air. Sina, listen to me. You must take these pills.

You must take them now. We're a nurse. Settle down. We're not going to make her take her pills right now. I think she knows what she was doing when she gave them away. I fear her transformation into a nocturnal lizard creature. We have to play the game.

I'm sorry. Sorry, we don't have time for that. Let's start with returning winner, Chris Hardwick, which is probably how I should have been doing it all along. That's all right. Yeah. I really should not be continuing to win this game. I'm not great at it.

But you're going to try your best tonight. Yes, I want to impress Werner, and I just want to make sure that he thinks I'm cool. I am already impressed by you. Because you embrace science. I did, I did. Okay, so Chris will get to pick a category, and then we'll go to Paul, and then to...

Do you like Werner or Werner? I pronounce it Werner, but I also have a German accent, so it's fine. My name is pronounced Werner as you are saying it. Okay. How do you say it? Thanks, Werner. That's incorrect.

It's not Werner. It's Werner. Ah, yes, Werner. That's incorrect. It's not Werner. It's Werner. Ah, yes. Werner. No. Wrong. Werner? Okay, Chris, would you like... Celebrating a birthday today is Bruce Willis, so...

Why? Bruce... Why would he celebrate? He might not be. He might be having a very sad evening. What's he trying to prove at this point? Yeah. I don't know. He's doing all right.

Red 2 is coming. Yeah. He's in G.I. Joe. I don't understand who is G.I. Joe, but he's in the film. I like that in the poster, Bruce Willis is wearing a suit and tie. And then it says, G.I. Joe! Is he G.I. Joe, but he's in the film. I like that in the poster, Bruce Willis is wearing a suit and tie. And then it says, G.I. Joe! Is he G.I. Joe's lawyer? We've got to make this more like James Bond.

They love James Bond again. So put him in a suit. He's G.I. Joseph. They're classing it up. G.I. Joseph! He was a lawyer. He was military for a while, and then he went into law.

Right. And so he's practicing law now. So it's a procedural. Racing around, holding doors open for ladies. Exactly. We'll get that for you. And then it's just an hour and a half of that, and a couple explosions, and then the rock.

Also celebrating a birthday, Glenn Close. Oh. So the films of Glenn Close. And then at Glenn R Rausch suggested on Twitter Wreck-It Ralph which is movies with Ralph Macchio that Leonard gave a bomb rating to

Wreck-It Ralph is the category which one of those three would you like to play Chris? Those are three pretty good categories I think maybe I'll go with the let's go with

Bruce Willis. Okay. You get to pick from three different years for Bruce Willis. Okay. Would you like 1987, 1988, or 1989? Let's go 1987. Okay.

Leonard Maltin gives this movie one and a half stars from 87 with Bruce Willis. He says it's tiresome. He says it's alternately boring and grating. Those are bad things to alternate between.

Guitarist Stanley Jordan makes a musical appearance. Eleven names. How many names can you get it in? Um, I think I'll do we'll just start the game at eleven. Fair enough.

Paul? Grating and tiresome, but not at the same time. It alternates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to say I can name that movie in five names. Okay. Now we go to first time player.

Mr. Herzog. Paul F. Tompkins. Name that movie. Oh. You called my bluff, Werner. You called my bluff, Werner. You called my bluff. I have a vague idea of what this is.

You do pick up. You pick this up fast. Sir. It's like name that tune. Yes. You got it. That's exactly right. Your five names,

Paul F. Tompkins, are Graham Stark, Mark Bloom, George Coe, Alice Herson, and Joyce Van Patten. What's the movie called, Paul? Is it Blind Date?

That is correct. Here's what makes me mad about that. Sorry, Werner. Here's what makes me mad about that. I took a shot. I knew it was Blind Date because I remember seeing that movie in the theater and that was his first movie.

You just got Sam Levine-ed by these two. I did get Sam Levine-ed a and that was his first movie. You just got Sam Levined by these two. I did get Sam Levined a little bit by Werner Herzog. You got boxed out of the action. I meant no Sam Levining. It just happens. It's just how the game works. But that means, Chris, since you weren't in that skirmish, you get to go first again, and then this time we'll go to Mr. Herzog. Just so I'm clear on the rules,

anyone who is standing outside of a skirmish is then the next to select a category. Yeah, because they didn't really get to participate in that point, so I feel it should go from them in the next round. So I am clear on what a skirmish is. These exchanges were... Name that movie. Is that the sound that starts a skirmish?

Project X, they get it now. It's two different... Two different things so we'll start with Chris again okay would you like made you read

on Twitter suggested put me in Coach and that's movies that have air travel in them so it doesn't even

really have to be about air travel just someone gets on a plane at some point Yes, so that narrows it down considerably That narrows it down To pretty much any movie That was made after the 50s Or Matt Drury

Suggested Greatest movie ever, Roald As in Roald Dahl The Famous author And these are adaptations Roald, as in Roald Dahl, the famous author. And these are adaptations of his works, Roald Dahl. And then your third option is In Theaters Now. And that, of course, is movies that are playing in theaters now.

I guess let's go with... Let's try in theaters now. What? This is exciting. There are many movies that are in theaters now. It's a good handful, but it narrows it down much further than probably the category with airplanes. Movies where people have faces.

Oh, Jesus. Leonard says this movie is pretty full-blooded. What does that mean? Leonard's not here, but if he were... It's my favorite type of film. We would ask him to explain that.

I hate half-blooded films. He also said it would have been more satisfying if it had been shorter. Yeah. That also does not narrow things down.

Right. Jesus. He lists six names. Are those literally the two clues for this movie? Yeah, apply those to current motion pictures.

But you could also start the bidding at six names if you want to do it that way. Six names. That's how you want to play, going up against an incredible filmmaker. Thank you. Why, like, when the grizzly bear is going to kill that guy, why didn't you and the crew jump in and help him out?

We weren't there when that was happening. Makes sense. It does, doesn't it? Thank you for accusing me of standing by and watching a man get mauled to death by a bear. You're welcome. So how many names do you think it would take you to discern the title of this film?

Four names. Okay. Paul F. Tompkins. Werner, I gotta say, name that movie. Wow. I really hope that Werner gets this movie. That would be great.

Because then Chris would still be in the running for a little piece of the action. May I have the clues again, please? No, you can't. It doesn't matter. You can't. Here are the clues. Full-blooded and there's people in it.

Like, that's all. There's no other... The clues were very vague. Thank you for refreshing my memory. It would have been more satisfying if it had been shorter. Your four names are... I'm really sorry about accusing you

of letting a man die right in front of you. It happens. It happened four times on my way here oh wow you let four people die on the way over here you misunderstand you killed four people on the way over here i feel as if this is becoming worse you and mcgregor bill nye the science guy. Yes. Bill... I think that would be Bill Nighy the science guy-y.

Yeah. Yeah-y. Ian McShane and Stanley Tucci are all in this movie that's in theaters now. What do you think? You seem really on top of things, Werner.

I try to see as many films as I can. Especially if Bill Nighy is in one. What's it called? It's in theaters now. Is it called Oz the Great and Powerful? Can I guess? And then I want to guess after Chris.

I'm sorry Werner It's not Oz the Great and Powerful Chris what do you think it is? I think it's Jack the Giant Killer And what do you think it is Paul? I also think it is Jack the Giant Killer Wait Paul? Oh I'm sorry did you want me to answer? No Werner you already guessed incorrectly.

I know, but once Chris said it, it seemed likely. That's not really a guess, though. That's just you're repeating what somebody else guessed. But I'm repeating a guess, so it is still a guess. You know what? I like the way you think. You have one point now. We have a tie. A tie between

the great Werner Herzog and Paul F. Tompkins. So Chris has a chance here to catch up. Back in the game! Yeah. Alright. Wait, what was it? Was it Jack the Giant Slayer? I like this more polite way of playing the game, sir.

Yes, Jack the Giant Slayer? I like this more polite way of playing the game, sir Yes, Jack the Giant Slayer was correct You were correct, Werner I'm happy to bring some civility to this unruly proceedings Who was not involved in that skirmish? Again, Chris So this time we'll go A classic Chris-less skirmish. So we'll start with Chris and then go to Paul this time.

And Chris gets to choose from the following categories. Dom and Dommer, that's the movies with serial killers. Not for emetophobes, that's movies that are not for emetophobes. That's movies that are not for emetophobes. There's copious amounts of vomiting.

And What? Oh, I get it. Are you just seeing this material now? No, no, no. It's just one that I... It's not worth getting into, but Salma and Luis. And that's movies with, but Salma and Luis.

And that's movies with Salma Hayek and Luis Guzman. Wait, movies where they're in it together? Or just, it could be either or? It's either or or both. Well, okay. Sounds like you know a lot about them, Chris. I know a couple of their movies Do you want to pick that category then?

Sure, let's go with Salman Or vomiting or serial killers? Let's do serial killers Okay Everyone's been avoiding that one Everyone avoids it, so I'm excited I am alarmed at how excited Chris was to pick that category

And you're a badass, that's weird that you would be alarmed. It's true. But once you've been shot during an interview, you become a bit cagey. Plus, when you let a man die right in front of you... I thought we'd been over this. There were two films called Project X. Three and a half stars, Chris,

for this movie that has serial killing in it. Leonard, the creep, calls it riveting. He's not a creep. We know he's not a creep. He says, Ioni Sky appears unbilled in this motion picture. I don't know how helpful that is. He lists... build in this motion picture so I don't know how helpful that is. And he lists 17 names. Alright. And an audience

member says Jesus. And I agree. Oh, don't help. Praise be to the Lord. Oh, I thought he was in the movie. Yeah, please, no clues. Did I say the year? 2007. 2007. Three and a half stars from Leonard.

It's riveting and the girl from Say Anything shows up. Doesn't want credit for it. Well, let's just start the bidding at 17. Okay. Can we go to Paul? I'm gonna say 12

nice Werner do you ever do you ever appear in anything unbilled I have appeared in over 1000 films

unbilled how's that you just walk by one day when they're filming or they never see me coming. And I apologize for freaking everyone out on the set

of Three Men and a Baby. Oh, that was you in the background. That was me. You were the ghost. I thought it would be funny. Well, Ted Danson always said that was just a cardboard cutout. I think his mind will not allow him to accept what happened.

His hair turned white overnight. Okay, so thank you for that, Werner. And how many names do you think you can get it in? Paul said 12. That's right. So you have to go lower or ask Paul to name it.

2007. Seems like it'd be pretty easy for Paul to name it. Serial killer. I only sky in a covert cameo role like what I do is I just say like 11 names you still probably want a lot of names unless you zeroed in on what you think

the film is I thank you for your sage counsel did you play Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained he's too excitable. He's running around all over the place. And he exemplifies,

no matter what role he plays, a joyful life that I find disturbing. I'm sorry, sir. How many names? Oh, I apologize. Poops. Is that more your style? It's shorter.

Gets us back to the game quicker. How many? Paul F. Tompkins named that movie. Well, all right. Oh, man. Okay. You've had a thing all night. I know.

I feel bad that you're being left out of these skirmishes. It's fine. I'm fine to be on the fringe of skirmish. You know, I thought I devised a way to get to knock Chris out, and I didn't know it would be this successful. But, you know, of course he'll be back. You're in the next tournament of championships. That's fine.

I'm actually going to be in New York next week, so I wouldn't be able to be here next week anyway. Aw. Aw, buddy. So you want to just... Should we just... Okay, 12 names for Paul F. Tompkins. James LeGros.

Candy Clark. Tompkins. James LeGros. Candy Clark. Adam Goldberg. That Vine filmmaker. John Goetz. Dermot Mulroney. John Carroll Lynch. Donald Logue. Elias Koteas.

Philip Baker Hall. You can stop me if you think you ever get, if you got it, Paul. I don't have to say them all. Keep going. I don't got it. Zach Grenier, I think is how you pronounce his name? Or Grenier?

Charles Fleischer? What? Roger Rabbit! It was the sequel to Roger Rabbit where Roger becomes a horrible serial killer. I would watch the shit out of that. I'm going to wipe out everyone who crushed Toontown. Is that 12 names yet?

No, that was like six names. Oh, Chris. You should get your brain checked. I'll be right back. That was 11 names. Oh, I'm sorry. I drifted off at four. Chloe Savigny is name number 12.

And it's about a serial killer. It was 2007. Mm-hmm. I'm kind of excited that Werner Herzog might be here next week. I've got some really great guests lined up that all have films that they're promoting. I'm glad you're excited because

it looks like he's going to be because I have absolutely have no idea what that movie is. Okay. Chris, do you know it? Just for funsies? I know the movie. I'm trying to remember the title, but it was the one serial killer that they never caught and I think it takes place in San Francisco, right? It was

Zodiac. Is it Zodiac? No. You didn't even have to guess it right, but that was still amazing that you came up with it. I'll give you a little bonus star next year, two points. Werner Herzog is our

winner. Wow. I have to say, Doug. We'll return next week. Can I say something? Thank you. It has been an amazing four-week run for me on Doug Bell's movies. If I were going to give up the crown of Doug Bell's movies, I am honored that it was Werner Herzog. And not just Paul F. Tompkins.

It is my pleasure to take it from you as you go backstage and frantically book a flight to New York to save face. Whose name tag is this? Can I get you to come over here and write down somebody to call a shithead here at the end of the show? You can have that back

because I'm sure you need that for all your tanning needs. Just write it down here. Anybody you would like me to call a shithead. While Chris Hardwick tells us, what are you running off to? What are you doing in New York? Is there a show people can come see you? No, I'm doing Fallon next week.

Oh, okay. Well, go sit in the audience at Fallon and watch it. People can see that. We can see that. The Jimmy Fallon show. Everybody can see that. Take a look at that. Okay.

And the Nerds BBC show premieres Saturday night on BBC America at 10. And then the finale of Talking Dead and Walking Dead is the 31st. So it's the 30th and the 31st. And then I'll be doing a bunch of stand-up in a lot of places. Fantastic. And Paul F. Tompkins? Well, Doug, I will be heading to London, England. And I'm going to be at the Soho Theatre from the 2nd through the 13th

and I'm very excited to make my London stand-up debut. Oh, that's awesome. There's still some tickets left, but they're going fast. Maybe. Werner, would you mind when you come back next week mentioning Paul's dates in London again? Because there will be one more last chance

to promote that for him. Did you have fun with him today? I enjoyed myself as greatly as I ever have. You may take that however you wish. I am happy to plug anyone's stand-up dates as it's a curious art form that I cannot believe has survived to the 21st century.

Because there's not enough bears in stand-up? Not enough conflict? Not enough conflict. Like if stand-up was to the death, you probably would enjoy it. Does that happen ever? I don't think so, but we might be able to set up a show for you.

Are comedians very violent people? Yeah. To themselves. I mean, that sort of plays into the... Sure. That interests me less. Right now, the listeners are getting so psyched

that you're going to be back next week. So is there anything that you would plug? Like, do you have a new motion picture? Jack Reacher coming soon on Blu-ray. Do you have a new motion picture? Jack Reacher coming soon on Blu-ray. And I will be in Portland, Oregon at the Helium Comedy Club March 29th and 30th.

Five shows. And as always, thank you guys. All of you. Werner Herzog, Paul Topkins, Chris Hardwick. Three-time champion,

Chris Hardwick. Thank you. In a tough situation tonight. Really strong competitors. And as always, if any of these are a Game of Thrones character, I won't recognize it or acknowledge it because I haven't seen any of Game of Thrones

even though I'm certainly interested. So, and these are harsh. These are harsh tonight. I feel... What a curious preamble. Is this a regular feature where you warn against Game of... Well, last week it was... Chris was here. Last week it was somebody from Game of Thrones

who was one of the shitheads and everyone just sat here. I wasn't here last week. Oh, you weren't here? No, no. Well, those people that were... Kumail must watch that show. Anyway, nobody responded, right? Yeah. Jordan knew. Jordan's got my back.

So anyway, these are some harsh shitheads, you guys. That's why I'm hesitating to say them, but here we go. As always, anyone defending asshole shithead rapist are themselves shitheadsist are themselves shitheads is a shithead.

And Oprah Winfrey is a shithead. His viewing prowess makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies!