Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Garry Marshall, and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber Guest

Episode Date: January 26, 2012

Doug welcomes comedian Paul F. Tompkins, along with Comedy Bang! Bang! regulars Garry Marshall and Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber to one of the weirdest shows yet. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, pretty babies, sticky seats with 50-azers, not for Gertle's in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies! Hey everybody. My name is Doug and I love movies.

This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California on Tuesday, January 24th, 2 Oceans 12. It finally happened. Can we get a little more heat on this mic maybe? It finally happened. I got back from the Weezer Cruise yesterday, and you can hear the Doug Loves movies that we taped on the Weezer Cruise now. I wrote down now or soon,

but I verified for myself that it's already on iTunes in the comedy podcast section. Four freezies. Bonus app. Not only did the Weezer Cruise happen since I last spoke, you listened. I also did a show at the

Miami Improv with Graham Elwood, and I gotta say, not a lot of name tags. Come on South Florida, get it together! I'll be back. We'll try it again sometime. Oh, and I'd also like to thank all six people who, when signing up for the Weezer Cruise, listed Douglas Movies as the number one reason

they went on the cruise. Yeah, take that, Weezer. All right, so this is the last time I'll mention the WeezerCruise.com. Until the next one! Yeah, I hope they do it again. I want to go back. I want to go back.

I don't know how I got off the track. Okay, one more thing about Weezer. Probably several things about Weezer, but this is the first one more thing for those who are wondering. The movies that I had loaded up and have been playing for months in the Leonard Maltin game

where the category was Weezer on the soundtrack, people have asked me, well, what movies were going to be in the game if they picked it? And the answers were Accepted, with I believe Justin Long was in that, Out Cold, starring Zach Galifianakis, and a Shrek movie. I think it was Shrek Forever After. And in the category movies where Shirley MacLaine plays a character named Weezer, the movie was Steel Magnolias. Get Shelby some juice!

Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is Underworld Awakening and Baconing. The fourth in a series I stopped watching halfway through the first one. And the number two movie is Red Tails, which doesn't have Kate Beckinsale in it, so see Underworld. And not Red Tails.

This has been Watch This, Not That. Woo! Yeah. Nailage. Oscar nominations came out today, and no go for 50-50 win-win or young adult, so

all those were disappointing. But the one Oscar snubbing I approved of is now I don't have to see J. Edgar since it didn't get nominated. Since Leo didn't get nominated, I don't have to see J. Edgar since it didn't get nominated. Since Leo didn't get nominated, I don't have to sit through that shit. But on the other hand,

now I have to watch Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, War Horse, and Tree of Life. Win-lose, I say. I mean, I've been saying to friends of mine that love Tree of Life, I've been saying for months and months

that I'm going to see it, but now I kind of want to see it in a movie theater because I sleep better in a theater than I do at home. I cracked myself up with that one. Alright, let's take a little gander into the prize bag here.

See what's going on with the prize bag. We got the prize bag, of course, is a bag that says Weezer Cruise on it. It's a pretty nice item. I like it. It's not something I would carry around because it's kind of more of a girlish kind of item. Let's see, we got...

I still have a Weezer t-shirt left over that I'd like to give away. Also, there's a Weezer wristband from the, what are those rubber wristbands called? Do they have a name for them? Like, not friendship, but you know, bracelet. Yeah, let's call it a bracelet.

So one of those rubber bracelets, you know, some of them say live stoned or live cancer free or whatever. And then of course a copy of Doug Benson Professional Humoridian and then I'll show you guys I'll talk about these items when I get them out here

I mean when I get the guests out here but I'll show you one of them to get a reaction from the crowd there's one of the items that you can win tonight and so let's get these three dudes out here. Please welcome to the stage, you guys,

Paul F. Tompkins, Andrew Lloyd Webber, and Gary Marshall. Gary Marshall. Hi, Doug. Hi, Doug. Doug Ritt, hello. It's a pleasure to see you once again. Hey, what's going on?

I can't believe it. Listen, listen. You're Doug? That's right, Mr. Marshall Okay, so my grandson says to me Listen, Poppy, before you go on this show You better listen to it once There's games that they play, there's things that they do You gotta know what's going on

Because you don't want to look stupid on the podcast So then what did you decide to do? Look, I listen to this thing, I don't want to look stupid on the podcast. So then what did you decide to do? Look, I listen to this thing. I don't want to look stupid. I know that he's young and he likes you and whatever. So I listen to this thing. I listen start to finish.

At the end of the episode, I hear you say, as always, Gary Marshall is a shithead. I'm already booked to do this show. Why are you, why are you calling me a shithead on this podcast?

Well, you'll see at the end of the show tonight. Very rude, Doug Green. Stay out of this, sir Andrew. Very rude. Thank you, Lord Webber. Also on my naming card, it says Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber. That's quite a while ago, dearie. I'm Lord now.

It's true. I apologize. It's true. Paul always does a little research on the other guests before he comes in. I always do a little research on the other guests before he comes in. I always do a little research. As little as possible. Like overhearing.

Research is a dangerous thing. Is this what it is? This is the show? Yes, Mr. Marshall. Please call me Gary. Gary. Please. Please call me Gary. Gary. Please. Please call me Lord Webber.

Okay. Or Gary. Let me change it on the sign so that I... I do appreciate that. I'll remember. I'll remember. Oh, you'll remember to change it later? After the show is over?

Well, I do thank you for your thoughtfulness after the fact. Sir Andrew. Now, what did we just discuss? Lord, please get me through this. Other Lord, I have a question for you. I don't think we've ever called you a shithead on the show. I should hope not!

Why ever would you? I also assume you've never listened to the show. Never! That's about right. At the end of the show... I've just discovered the DVR. I'm a little behind on my technology.

You can post live television, Duggery. Did you realize? I have realized that, and it's Sir Duggery. Oh, I'm sorry. Have you bested a dragon recently? Oh, I'm sorry. Have you bested a dragon recently?

Yes, dude. This is really the show? It's just this. Well, we'll talk about movies a little bit. I hope so. The title is Doug Loves Movies, not Doug Loves Dicking Around For a half hour And then there's a little movie chat

Jammed in there at the end Although you might want to consider Renaming it That is a good name for it But the shitheads Thing Mr. Marshall Please Call me again

The shithead thing Is just a fun thing Mr. Marshall. Please, call me again. The shithead thing is just a fun thing where the person can write down anybody. They probably just had some problem with you that, you know, maybe they didn't have a problem with you. It might have just been a funny lark for them to call you a shithead. Yeah, some people do it as you. I actually tried to explain this to you backstage.

Why am I listening to you all of a sudden? I'm back there with a lord of the British Empire and this guy. Who do you think I'm going to listen to? Why should I listen to you? Well, it's nice to meet you.

I was just trying to be helpful. Thanks! I wish all my guests would help out backstage I was just trying to be helpful yeah yeah thanks I wish all my guests I wish all my guests would help out backstage and explain how the games are played to the Michael Rookers

and the well is that really it's really not going to change anything that's what I keep trying to explain to people that listen to the podcast

they're like why can't they know how it works ahead of time perhaps you should have less stupid people on your show. Here we go, Lord. Now, as a first-time listener, perhaps that's unkind of me to say.

I'm just assuming you have all sorts of stupid people on the show. You're a first-time listener right now as you're doing it? This is the first time. Jack, I'll be honest, I haven't been listening this whole time either. He's got one earbud in.

I don't know if you can see that. Just listening to Sarah Brightman. How dare you? So let me ask you this. Lord, what's your favorite musical I hope. So let me ask you this, Lord. What's your favorite musical that you did not write? I say, that's a wonderful question.

Isn't it fun? No one asks me that. They just ask me my favorite of my own musicals and of course I say, can you choose a favorite child? To which the correct response is, of course you can. Some children are better than others. And my favorite, of course, is Starlight Express.

Of my own work. And that's what you brought to give away tonight. Yes, a sign-it copy. Some of you will win a sign-it copy. This is out of print. away tonight. Yes, a sign and copy. Some of you will win a sign and copy. This is out of print.

Do you write death to infidels on everything? Yes, that is my signature catching phrase. Death to infidels. Do I like it? For a while I favored Six Semper Toradus, but someone told me it was taken. My favorite musical that I have not written

is Meredith Wilson's The Musical Man. Oh, that is a nice one. Yes. It's all about your quaint American Iowa, or Iowa, as they are fond of saying, and wonderful old-fashioned way of life around the turning of the last century and people enjoying their phosphates

and their gigantic wheeled bicycles. Have you seen that one, Gary? Isn't that a horrible... What? What? Everybody's seen The Music Man. It's 100 years old. We've seen it.

I saw it in the theater when I was a young guy. I had a crush. You guy. I had a crush. You know who I had a crush on was that Mrs. Partridge. What's her name? Shirley Jones. Shirley Jones! That's right. But she married Marty Ingalls, so it was not to be.

Thank you, Gary. No one cares. But Gary brought a copy of one of my favorite Gary Marshall films That's right He brought The Other Sister The Other Sister I almost brought

An advanced DVD Or Blu-ray Whatever is the best one I don't know I got a guy who sets it up and then I watch it. That's all I do, I watch. I don't set up. So I was going to bring my latest picture,

New Year's Eve, but everybody had a chance to see it in the theaters and they seemed to have better things to do. So why should I make it easy for some of these people to see it at home when you had all the time in the world to see it in the movie theater? And no Oscars for New Year's Eve. Not a single one.

What's with that snubbage? Boy, maybe there was some below-the-line ones. I don't pay attention to that stuff so much. Editing, there was a lot of scenes in it. Not even editing? Not even best song over the end titles? Well, that's absurd. What song do we have?

Seal or somebody? I think so. It's popular. People like him. I want to know, Gary, if you had anything to do with the catchphrase. Call me Mr. Marshall for just a couple seconds and then next time you call me Mr. Marshall I'll say call me Gary.

Okay. The other sister, of course, is about a young, mentally handicapped couple or two young people that are mentally handicapped. They want to be together. The parents don't know if it's the right thing to let them be together. That's right. And with that in mind, why does the front of the

DVD box just say a romantic comedy about letting go? When you boil it down to its component parts, it's really the story is a love story. There's some fun in there. That's why it's a romantic comedy. And the letting go is let's let go of the idea that this is about mentally handicapped people. And maybe we'll all have a good time. That's why it was important to me to show Julia Lewis doing crunches in the movie. I thought people are going to say, how come this mentally challenged girl, she's so fit and healthy.

And I'm like, honey, you gotta do some crunches. Some of them work out. Some of them work out. We don't say explicitly what a thing is. It could be anything. It's like an extremely up close and loud and incredible. The kid in that movie,

they don't say where he is on the spectrum. He's just a kid. He's got something. He likes to make noise't say where he is on the spectrum. He's just a kid. He's got some thing. He likes to make noise. And also he's scared of the subway. So you get away with a lot. You can just invent sort of obsessions for him as you go along. Why did we just listen to all of that? You could have interrupted him so many times.

I'm too Britishly polite to do so. I was enjoying it. And pulling out the Paul F. Tompkins, you should have told me that he brought his first stand-up DVD. That's true. That's available. It's got deleted scenes. It does have deleted scenes.

Does anybody watch those? That should have stayed in? What were you thinking? I don't know. So far, no one has confronted me about them. But it does have something. The thing I'm most proud of in the extra features is the Spanish language track,

which is me doing, I just watched it all in one take, and I did just a Spanish accent as if I was a different person and it's none of the material it's just me sort of narrating what I'm looking at I think a lot of people don't realize

that's what it is. I had a guy write to me on Twitter and said I just thought it was somebody who overdubbed your act in Spanish why would I put that on there? You've got a big following of people who don't speak the language. I'm like Morrissey. I have a gigantic Latino following.

Because people relate to the emotion of my life. Are we all done the filthy business of plucking our various endeavors? Yes, we're done with that. I just want to say

New Year's Eve it'll be out on DVD and Blu-ray soon. Eventually. It wouldn't kill you. There's no stopping it. Look, I don't like that tone at all.

No, it's a process. No movies don't come out on DVD. I did not. I did not. I wasn't like that tone at all. No, it's a process. No movies don't come out on DVD. I did not. I did not. I wasn't ready to celebrate New Year's Eve two weeks prior. When it opened in mid-December. I was like, this would be the movie to see the weekend of New Year's Eve.

So why didn't you see it then? Because by then, Dragon Tattoo was out. Come on, you want to see that movie? You know how many rapes were in my movie? Zero. Nobody had a bunch of metal in their face. They were attractive people falling in love.

You're trying to tell me that Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher are trapped in an elevator the whole movie and he doesn't force himself on her? No! It's cannibalism. That's the twist. They think they're trapped in there long enough that they're gonna

have to eat each other. This movie is worth seeing. Don't you understand? There's a lot of twists and turns in it. Speaking of twists, can someone turn Mr. Marshall's

microphone off? I liked you for two seconds and now I'm against you. Is that enough? Well, you know, you've all been on Comedy Bang Bang, and they have an open-door policy over here, but I try to keep the door as closed as possible, but this combination was irresistible to me, so...

How did you make this happen, by the way? Well, I... You get the strangest calls from people, like, Mr. Marshall, your publicist is terrible because... It's my grandson! Never do business with family. This is what I'm learning. Except my sister, Penny Marshall,

who, of course, has been wonderful. She played Laverne. That's right! And let me say this to you. Please! Recently, I was having a discussion with someone and the subject of bridesmaids came up, and how bridesmaids, oh, finally, you know, proof that women can be funny and have a big hit,

and everybody loves it, more stuff from women from now on. What the fuck was Laverne and Shirley all those years ago? Two women, huge hit. That's right. These were two women being hilarious. That's right. These were two women being hilarious. They were even funnier than their next door neighbors who were two mentally challenged guys who didn't know about boundaries. All Lenny and Squiggy knew about was letting go.

That's right. That's all they had. Now what's this Laverne or Shirley? I wish it was called that. That would be an interesting... Lord, it's Laverne and Shirley. Lloyd Webber. Who cares? Why are you speaking to me?

Paul, you know, he's been on the show a lot. He could jump in and help host. I didn't realize the etiquette I do apologize. Apology accepted. Did we talk to all of you about movies? Yes. Did we ask Paul F. Tompkins anything about movies? No, and I hope you don't.

Alright, let's play some games. Every time. Let's do it. Build a title. Low stakes Oh my favorite Winner gets to go first In the Leonard Maltin game though

I think the stakes are higher In build a title Because this is how you know Who is smart And who is dumb Because Leonard Maltin It's about remembering things

Right And there's some strategy involved Specific trivia Yeah specific trivia Build a title is Do you know some words Well you can't You know pull a Graham Elwood And just make up titles right? And there's some strategy involved. Specific trivia. Yeah, specific trivia. Build a title is, Do You Know Some Words? Well, you can't pull a Graham Elwood and just make up titles

though. You have to know... I love Graham Elwood! Will he be on this program? No! How are you aware of Graham Elwood? Everyone should be aware of him. Are you writing a new musical that's all whistling? Have we talked about this?

No, we haven't. Inspired by the comedy, in quotations of course, of Mr. Graham Elwood. I'm creating a musical. It's called The Noise Maker. It's all about a mentally challenged fellow. Hey, come on. Now you're working my side of the street.

Take it easy. This mentally challenged fellow is not from 1960s Milwaukee. All right, go ahead. He whistles and hoots and hollers, stamps his feet, knocks things over. For three hours, no intermission. At Jacqueline Turner on Twitter suggested the following title to start off Build a Title. And we'll start with you, Sir Paul F. Tompkins.

Oh, thank you. Then we'll go up to Lorde. Not funny. And then we'll go up to the greatest director of all time. I hope you mean me and it's not like somebody's gonna bust in Lenny and Squiggy style with a hello and it's Lars von Trier something I love flamingo kid it's good people forget why is it that I make these movies

They do well They're well regarded People forget They happened Why does that happen Doug? Your scene in Lost in America The Albert Brooks movie

Is probably Possibly one of the funniest scenes In motion picture Cinema history Do you know what makes it? What? I say Santy Claus

Instead of Santa Claus It's the details Doug It's the details, Doug. It's the details. That's right. You got the details down cold. As soon as you get the rest of it, it's going to be awesome. Yeah, thanks for explaining it.

The title is The Science of Sleep. Start with Paul. Need something that ends in science or starts in sleep. Or eep. Is there a movie called Eep? Science of sleep of faith. Oh, sleep of faith.

I get it. I like it. All right. Lord Weber, you need to name a movie a motion picture that ends with the word science or begins with the word faith science of sleep of faith

hmm I'm afraid I will be revealed as someone stupid if I cannot come up with a continuation of this title we are building.

I like to help out the first time players. Blank science? What about weird science? That's right! Have you seen that movie? Thank you. Of course I have. Ask me how many times. How many times?

How many times? One. You're like, Kelly Brock, just enough. Just for that one time. Kelly LeBrock. Kelly LeBrock. The wonderful French actress. Alright, we're cooking along.

Here we go back around to Paul F. Tompkins. What happened to me? Sorry, Gary. Sorry, Gary. I thought we had three titles on there. All right, so see something that ends in weird or begins with faith. Gary Marshall.

Ends in weird or begins with faith. It could begin with eighth. It could end in eared. I can't think of one for either end. I'm having a hard time thinking because you're talking while I'm trying to do it. I'm sorry, I'll stop talking right now and give you a chance to think. I'm not going to run out the clock. Give me just a chance and I think I got it. Time's up.

I didn't get it. That was rude of me But that's all right It is a game It's right We play by the rules This is how things are done Yeah So now we come back around

To the Paul F. Tompkins And if you cannot add Anything to the title Our winner will be Lord Andrew Lloyd-Wayne Really? Oh he got it Well you helped him

I did But he came up with No He did come up with Weird That's true That's fair And he's still sitting right there That's true Oh, he got it. Well, you helped him. I did, but he came up with... No, I did, yes. He did come up with weird. That's true. That's true.

That's fair. And he's still sitting right there. That's true. We're talking about him as if he's gone. Yes, I'm still... Very rude. I see what you're saying, Gerald. Weird science of sleep of... I know there's something with faithful that I'm just not...

There's unfaithfully yours. Yeah, but that's not... I can't think of any faithful things. There's got to be one, Doug. Faith. Faith off. That's what it was called in Barcelona. All right, so with Weird Science and the Sleep of Faith,

a very short build-a-title, we have a winner, and his name is Lloyd Andrew. Lord, Lord Lloyd. Lloyd, Lloyd Lord. Andrew Weber. So he gets to go first. I trust the listener to a rejose of the proper fashion. He gets to go first in the Letterman game to a rejose of the proper fashion. He gets to go first

in the Leonard Mullen game, but before we play, before we play, could all three of you gentlemen, Paul knows how to do this, the other guys can follow his lead, do we have name tags, you guys? Did you bring a name tag?

Please go out in the audience and select a name tag, a person that you'd like to play for. Yes, guys, here, here's what you do. Something that speaks to you. I'm sure everyone on the panel loves that sign with pot on it.

The marijuana leaf. Probably not a good week to bring that. But, you know, try again next week. I'm sure there'll be a stoner on the panel. Gentlemen, what's that thing you got, Ryan? What is that? It's a horse's head?

And you got, and Ryan is in the mouth. That's interesting. Weird. All right, you guys are faster than most of the guests. Nicely done. Let's start with Mr. Marshall there on the end. He picked a young lady named Kim. For Kim.

And I picked her because first of all it says pick me in parentheses under her name. You're very susceptible. There we go. Look, it's my first time. Maybe that's the way the game goes.

And also she wrote her name on a Woody Woodpecker card and there's something about that that's so sad. I decided... Sad. I relate to Woody Woodpecker because he was a big deal and nobody cares anymore.

He made hundreds of pictures, this Woodpecker. Then he let himself go and got out of the business. And then... He's a cartoon. You should see him. And what did you pick? I chose this young fellow named Josh

who has taped out the name of some movie and he's done it all the way around. I think it's probably called Joshing Around, maybe? Josh and Sam. Josh and Sam. Joshing Around! The only movie that would do worse

than Josh and Sam is a movie called Joshing Around. Mr. Marshall could make that work. Then the word shithead is written. I don't understand. Oh yeah, so that'll be for the end of the program if you don't win on behalf of Josh and not Sam. If it does not concern me, I do not need Oh yeah So that'll be For the end of the program If you don't win On behalf of Josh

And not Sam If it does not concern me I do not need to know Yes And then Paul Tompkins This is a pretty clever one I think Yes

This is an actual film can With some film in it Like a reel of film And there's a young lady Named Tessa And she says She loves movies Yeah

Oh She's got a fucking Fan club over here. And I will tell you this. Tessa is one of my favorite names. I love that name. I think it's a beautiful name. Thank you.

Well, you're welcome, Tessa. All right. You lucked out tonight, Tessa. I have a feeling you might be the winner. As long as we're handicapping the race. Don't be too sure. Okay, Gary. Don't be too sure.

I'm going to try my hardest for Kim and for Woody Woodpecker. All right, so we're going to start with... I will barely try for George. Just letting you know. Well, we'll start with you then. Please. As it should be start with you then. Please. As it should be. And you get to pick a category.

Then we'll go to Gary Marshall and then around to Tom Tompkins. I pick motion pictures! Here we go. Great choice. Thank you. Would you like a motion picture that is about a body switch

of some sort? Oh, the plot thickens! Yes. The category is called I'm Inside You, and it's movies where two people switch bodies for magical reasons. You've just named my favorite genre of film. Do I just pick that category,

or would you like to hear two more? No. Why would I? Let's do it. I'm Inside You. Body switching films for a thousand. There's no real point designation, but that, okay. There's no real point to life, Doug.

Is that what all your musicals are trying to say? Yes. Why won't anyone understand? Three stars from Mr. Leonard Maltin, very esteemed film critic here in this area of the world. You don't have to tell me who Mr. Leonard Maltin, very esteemed film critic here in this area of the world. You don't have to tell me who Mr. Leonard Maltin is. I think I just did, though. We are Skype friends.

That makes sense. Three stars from Leonard. He calls this movie entertaining and souped up. I don't know what souped up means. And then he also says that the people who switch bodies give top notch performances. And there

are about eight names, I think. Nine names. He lists nine names. I wonder if there was ever a film where someone changed bodies with a soup. I believe it's two people. I don't think anyone changes into soup.

No one ends up in a can? No. For the duration of the film? No one gets painted by Andy Warhol? There's not alternately a sentient soup walking around in a human body? The year again is 2003. How many names do you think you can get it in?

Lord Lloyd? I believe I can get it in? Lord Lloyd. I believe I can get that film in. How many names? Out of nine. I feel I can get that movie in six names. I don't think you can.

How dare you? But now we move on to Gary Marshall. What? Who goes, so you tell me six names and then I say, great. No, you could say I can name it in less names and pick a lower number. Oh, it's like a name that tune. It's exactly like name that tune.

Finally, somebody gets it. Hey, name that tune. It's the simplest explanation. It is, for anyone who knows what Name That Tune is. So, I'm one of these people. I have young guests. Hey, why do

they bother? All they're doing is listening to podcasts and getting high. Okay. This guy says six names. This guy says Six names This guy I'm gonna say I'm gonna say five names

Excellent A conservative bit Yeah but now we're going over to Paul F. Tompkins Yeah I wanna see what this idiot's gonna do Multiple Tournament of championships Strong player Playing for Tessa the name he loves multiple tournament of championships. That's true. Strong player. Not this time, though.

Playing for Tessa, the name he loves. What do you think? 2003, souped up. That's really a horrible clue. Is it really? I think so. I don't think it's souped up at all. You don't think so?

Maybe it was. Maybe I missed the soup part. See, it makes me think it's souped up at all You don't think so? Maybe it was Maybe I missed the soup part See it makes me think it's souped up From something else I guess I gotta go for it I'm gonna say What did Mr. Marshall say? He said five

I'm gonna say four names Alright Now we're back over to... Paul F. Thompson. Name that movie. He threw it down. I guess so. Picked up the game fast.

Here's your four names. Ryan Malgarini. The great Ryan Malgarini. The great Ryan Malgarini. Rosalind Chow. Christina Vidal. And Stephen Tobolowsky. Oh, sure. Yeah.

I recently saw him naked on Californication. Oh, I'm sorry. I know. 2003. Mm-hmm. And the performances are top-notch by the leads. I know 2003 and the performances are top notch by the leads this is a clue

I like to throw out with this category because we've played it a couple times in other settings it's one of six body switch movies that have existed

in the history of cinema I I'm worried about the year but I want to about the year but I want to say the Freaky Friday remake that is correct and it's souped up compared to the original

but the original was plenty souped I think we're forgetting there was a big water skiing scene in the original it was pretty souped up how quickly we forget There was a big water skiing scene in the original movie. Yeah. It was pretty souped up. It was pretty souped up. Yeah. The new Freaky Plays. How quickly we forget Lennon Malton.

I will chastise you on Skype. Okay, so that means that... That's the game. Hooray. Everybody goes home. No. It goes on. It builds excitement and tension.

Remind me to murder my grandson. After I fire him as my publicist. So Paul Hopkins was challenged by Lord Weber and got the point. So we will start now with Mr. Marshall. Please call me Gary. For two more rounds. Okay. We'll start with you, Gary. And then we'll go back around to Paul F. Tompkins.

And maybe we'll see what happens after that. Would you like... Glad you tacked that on at the end. Mr. Marshall, would you like Roadhouse? That's the category of movies that have an RV in them. Because that, of course, is a roadhouse. I think I get it. You got it.

No shoes. That's the movies of Joey Pants or Johnny Legs, who some know as Joe Pantoliano and John Leguizamo. So either pants or legs.

No service. Here's how I know Joe Pantoliano. As the discount Hector Elizondo. So with him, he's in none of your films. He's in none of my films. Because Elizondo is in every one of them. I got Hector. What do I need this guy for?

He brings his own wigs. He doesn't wear a hat. And the third choice, it's future guest. I assume he'll be a guest. I know him, sort of. Ed Helms is celebrating a birthday today. Sure. Star Andy Bernard on The Office.

So which one of those would you like to play Mr. Marshall? I'm gonna go with... It's got an RV in it. That doesn't appeal to me. I don't care for Joey Pants. I guess I'm left with Ed Helms. You know the Ed Helms? Eh, you know, I see things.

They send me screeners. Two and a half stars for this movie that has Ed Helms amongst other people. Len didn't like it. Two and a half is, you know. It's right in the middle. Yeah. Little over to the good side. I guess I unfairly characterized it.

I think the other sister got two and a half. I think the other sister got two and a half. He says about this movie that it's jokey. Sounds good. And then he also says that it's, no kidding, a female empowerment story. Yeah. I can't believe he's worried people would think he was kidding

that a movie could be a female empowerment story. Get this. I'm from a time when that was a funny idea. And then I revolutionized the world with Laverne and Shirley. So you're welcome, women. And then there are Leonard lists. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 names.

Boy, oh boy, I got a vague idea, but I'm going to play it close to the vest. And I'm going to say 14 names. Smart, smart. There we go to Paul F. Tompkins. I guess I will go with 10 names. That's a good bit, whittle it down. Yeah. I shall go with the courage of a lord of the British Empire.

With six names. Why are people making that noise? Because a cat just walked in. My word. It's like Elizabethan times. So ten names, you say? What? Ten names?

Six. Six names, sorry. And then Gary Marshall. Okay, I'm going to say... Name that movie. I'm curious to see what happens Me too It's jokey Did I say that already?

And it's really A female empowerment story Deep down Two and a half stars How is he kidding about that? 2009 He's not kidding No kidding

None? No In parenthetical No kidding. None? No. In parenthetical, no kidding. Not even three kids? And your six names are John Krasinski, Renee Zellweger, the aforementioned Ed Helms,

Amy Poehler, Jeffrey Tambor, and Julia, Julie White. Julie White from 2009. Very strange. From 2009, you say? Yes.

Very recent in mankind's history. If you've been a regular guest on the show, you might be... You'd possibly catch on to the idea. I don't know how to... I don't want to give you too much of a clue, so forget what I'm saying. Fair enough.

I want to play fair and square. Yeah. So disregard... I don't want special treatment because I'm wearing an ermine cape. How many ermine had to die for that? And what is that? One big one.

A giant ermine. Do you know, I've never bought a first class ticket in my life, Dougery. I show up wearing the cape and they automatically bump me up. That's all it takes? Without this cape, I'd be in steerage. I don't think they have steerage on planes.

You know what I mean. It's all, whatever's back there. Back behind the thin curtain. People in overalls, chickens and such. All right, you have any idea there? May I have the names again? 2009, Joker, female empowerment. No kidding. All right, you have any idea there? May I have the names again? 2009, Joker, female empowerment, no kidding.

John Krasinski, Renee Zellweger, Ed Helms, Amy Poehler, Jeffrey Tambor, Julie White. Renee Zellweger with shockingly low bidding for a 2009 venture. Is it the movie Leather Heads? Renee Zellweger and John Krasinski were both in that, but I believe they were second and third build after George Clooney. Not so deep.

But then, no, that's incorrect. And the rest of the names are Paul Rudd, Stephen Colbert, Rainn Wilson, Kiefer Sutherland, Will Arnett, Hugh Laurie,

Seth Rogen, Renee Witherspoon, and it's called Monsters vs. Aliens. And that's what I was trying to convey is that they do voices not appear on camera.

You tricked me with an animated film dog. How dare you? But well played. So that means the point goes to Gary Marshall?

Thank you. See, I figured there's gonna be some cartoons in there. That's why Woody Woodpecker

is a good spirit totem for me. We gotta keep track of this stuff. So Paul has a point. Oh, good idea. Yeah. Paul has a point Oh good idea Paul has a point and Gary has a point right?

I think so People care I kind of care You always want to win You're very competitive I just want to play well If I play really well Maybe I'll win

Tonight I think you have a pretty good shot. I would like to equip myself nicely. That's all I care about. Already feeling the sting of that build title where I really shot my mouth off about how easy it is. You're smart. You are the one that said sleep of faith.

You didn't play ahead a few moves and think there's nothing that begins with faith. But that's cool. You didn't play ahead a few moves and think, oh, there's nothing that begins with faith. But that's cool. Would you like, for a category, we will start with you, Paul, and then we'll go around to Gary as we switch the order around. Would you like, at more brutal than you suggested, Star Wars, which is, it's a little misleading,

because it's movies with either star or wars in the title. Oh, I would have thought it was the Star Wars, which is, it's a little misleading, because it's movies with either star or wars in the title. Oh, I would have thought it was the Star Wars movies. Very clever, more brutal than you. Yeah, he really pulled that one off. And then, also celebrating a birthday today, the great Ernest Borgnine is like 94 years old. Still? What's this guy trying to prove?

You want to live out it. I'll live everybody. Don't you, Gary? No, I can't believe I'm still here. What am I doing? Just keep working with Ashton Kutcher every movie. Four letters is the other category. Movies with four letters in the title,

like Spun, Salt, Mash, Milk. Give me two more. I want four letters. I can't think of two more. I mean, I know one more because I'm looking at it. Sure. And Leonard Maltin gave it three stars. It's from 2011. I mean I know one more because I'm looking at it sure and Leonard Mullen gave it

three stars it's from 2011 just happened yeah it's very recent yeah and this is interesting he always gives like

what country country of origin kind of thing right after the year and this particular movie is US French British yeah terrible clue

an AmeriF yeah I don't like I don't know what's going on with that and he says about this movie that it is funny and likable and he also says that is written by people who are in it. That's a lot of clues. Written by people who are in it. Written by performers in the film. And it's from 2011, last year. And U.S., French, British, three stars. And there are...

12 names. For the listener, Doug does an adorable little thing. He's counting the names, and his little head bobs up and down as he counts them. He looks at them as he rests his eyes on each name. Sometimes you can glance at it and figure out how many,

but they do it in weird patterns that are hard to add up quickly sometimes. It was just 2-2-2-2 or 3-3-3. I had to add it up faster. 2-2-3-3 Or 3-3-3 I had to add it up faster It was 2-2-3-3-1 So 2011 American French

And one more French American English production Four letters in the title From last year. It is likable. It is funny. Written by people who are in it. Some guy in the audience,

I know what it is. Let me ask you this. Wait, is this how this works now? I have a question about the category. It's not animated. I have a question about the category. It's not animated. I know. Come on, Doug.

Here we go. Can articles be included in addition to the four letters in the title? It's just four letters. So it's not the something with four letters. No, no, no. Okay, it's and something with four letters. So it's not the something with four letters? No, no, no. Okay, it's and something with four letters. No, it's just four letters.

One word, four letters. God damn it. Milkspun mash. Milkspun mash. Twelve names. Oh, I forgot about the bidding. I'm sitting here like, I gotta name it. I can name that movie in nine names.

All right. Is it to me? I am sitting to this gentleman's left. But who challenged you on the last one? Yeah, it's Gary. I don't remember. Who pays attention? I got a Woody Woodpecker staring at me like the Grim Specter of Death over here.

Is it me? Yes. What did he say? I forgot. Paul, what did you say? I believe I said nine names. Okay. He said nine names.

The audience, did I say nine names? Yeah. People are nodding and also saying yes okay for the listener mr. Marshall is it's not me Gary who cares seven names Lloyd Webber There's only two variations of my name left I can't say his name right To save my life I will say One less than Mr. Marshall just said Whatever he said

So now what are we down to? Six Five Five Five I'm going to say Andrew Lloyd Webber and Dave Bedmove How dare you! Five, five, five. I'm going to say Andrew Lloyd Webber and Dave Bedmove. How dare you?

This is unheard of. I think he might get it. I think he has a shot at this. Thank you, Douglas, for having faith in me. I'm not even going to give you the clues again. The names are Seth Rogen,

Blythe Danner, Joe Latrullio, and Bill Hader. There's four letters in the name. Now, I have seen this particular film and I found it to be both funny and likable. And French and British?

And now I discover it was written by the people who ate it. That film is named Paul. That is correct! How could Paul F. Tompkins fuck that one up? That's embarrassing. Well, why would French people be mixed up in the making of that movie? It's such an awful clue.

It's such a terrible clue. But exciting Leonard Maltin game with you fellas. Thank you. I guess so. I'll take your word for it. And the guy who won is the person playing for the only person that wrote their shithead on the back of their thingy. So let's give the prize bag to Josh. Not Sam.

Where's Josh at? What? This is unprecedented. Who cares? Hold on a second. So technically I kind of still won. We got to do one more fucking round of this shit. Oh.

Bye. Good. But this is the tiebreaker This is it It can't go on anymore We've gone over a lot of time Apologies to Comedy Bang Bang This is why I don't have an open door policy Because this kind of thing happens

So, holy shit Sorry Josh I was just joshing around when I said you were the winner. And so we have to play another round. And so Lloyd, Lord Lloyd,

Andy, Jellicoe Andy. Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber. Okay. You won that point. And who asked you to name it? Paul F. Tompkins? Yes. Okay, so we'll start with Gary.

We'll start with Mr. Marshall. And then we'll go to the Lord. I'm so tired of being awake. How do you think I feel? I'm praying for death. I said you're tired of being away good point good call okay would you like as a category Wayans world sure let's go do it this is movies with the Wayans brother no go what else would it be are

you familiar with them have you ever worked with them? Eh, probably. Jamie Foxx, does that count? Since you've worked with him more than once, yes. He's like way into Jason. They sort of got, they probably had a jealousy of him. They gave him his start pretty much. Sure, they should be. He's done very well for himself.

Two and a half stars for this movie. So I kind of like this. It's got some weigh-ins in it. Just slightly past halfway. So slightly better than... That's fair. And he says about this movie that it is lowbrow. Really?

With the wands? Hold on a second. We don't have time. And he also says that this movie let's see is no good. Oh, this is a weird clue.

I feel like I've done this on the show recently. Based on the novel by Jane Austen? No. He says, the fact that the Motion Picture Association gave this an R surprised even Hollywood. I don't know in what way it surprised them. In what?

Like if they thought it was too dirty or too clean for an R. I don't know. But two and a half stars, the year is 2000 it's got some Wayans in it and Leonard Maltin gives us a healthy 13 names I can name that movie

in zero names Gary Marshall how do you do it? Now we go to the Lord. Now this is... I'll explain this to you as succinctly as I can. You can go...

Is it negative names? Yes. It has been explained to me. Wow, you really absorbed the rules quite nicely. I checked it with Gary Marshall's grandson who is my publicist.

So what are you going to do there with that strong zero names bid by... I say, Gary Marshall, name that movie. Good.

Is it Little Man? Is that really what you think it is? Sure, who cares? I'm glad it worked out the way it did because our winner is Josh, who was being played for by Lord Webber. May I guess what the field is?

Please. Is it White Chicks? No. Does Paul F. Tompkins have a guess? Let me take a guess. Is Is it the Lady Killers?

But Marlon Wayans, Sean Wayans, Marlon Wayans, they're in there. David L. Lander was one of the names in the movie. The guy who played Squiggy. What's Squiggy doing in there? He's got a small part in a film called Scary Movie. Scary Movie. Which was really disgusting.

It had really dirty jokes in it, so that's why they were surprised it got an R, I think. Wait, it had really dirty jokes, but they were surprised it got an R? Like it sque Because it's really... Wait, it had really dirty jokes, but they were surprised it got an R? Like it squeaked by and got the R instead of an X. The jokes were that dirty! Have you ever had that problem, Gary Marshall? I think when I was doing Young Doctors in Love, there was an

extended decapitation scene where a guy had sex with the neck hole. Alright, where's Josh? Where's Josh at? There you go, buddy. Congratulations. Can we get Kim and Tessa up here? To, uh...

Now this is the part where I beg you not to call Gary Marshall a shithead. Here, just write it down right here. There you go. Just jot it down in the blank space provided. This is is Tessa's handler came up. Wait, this is, who was that other guy?

The two girls came up and then that guy. Was that Josh that came up? What? Somebody, it could be Jack Ruby coming up here for all I know. Wow, this is really elaborate, shouldn't it? Write it down along. All right, did you get it all in there? Okay.

It's specific and vague at the same time. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it'll be fun. You guys, only your name tags back? You're just like, I just left them there. Forget that shit. All right. Cake Boss, I would like to...

What's that? I would like to... What's that? I would like to plug... Is that a catchphrase of this thing? Yeah, yeah. Sometimes a guest comes by and says that. If you want to play the Leonard Mullen game against Graham Elwood, we're going to be at the Portland, Oregon club

called Helium on February... I know, Helium. An audible gasp. February 2nd and 3rd, and we'll be at the Palace Station again in Vegas on Monday, February 6th, so come check those out if you're around there. Do you guys have anything to plug? Paul F. Tompkins? When does this drop, Doug?

I know we always ask you that. This Friday. There's still some tickets left, although they're going very fast, and I haven't really been plugging this that much. Saturday, February 11th at Largo, I will be doing previewing my new hour that I'm going to be taking on the road in May. And that's going to be

at Largo the Coronet. And February 15th, I'm very excited about this. If you're familiar with the Super Ego podcast, they're doing a live version of that in Vancouver as part of the Vancouver Comedy Festival, and I will be joining them for that That is two shows on February 15th

And all tickets are available At paulftompkins.com Nice I did a Yeah clap for that I did a I'm going to do a Doug Loves Movies At that same festival

On like I think on the opposite weekend Because if you were around Of course I would I would try to get you to Participate I won't be Yeah you won't you were around, of course, I would try to get you to participate. I won't be. Yeah, you won't be.

I, of course, have my new reality series where I'm trying to find the next Jesus Christ to play Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh, okay. For a second there, I thought you were just looking for the next one, the next real Jesus Christ. If we do happen to find the real Jesus Christ, I won't be upset. And Gary Marshall? What is it? New Year's Eve is coming out on Blu-ray,

and I'm praying for death. Thank you very much to my guests. And as always, Rum Tum Tugger is a shithead. I'm Daniel! And a lot of the Republican presidential nominees is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. He finds a golden deal with Crowe's makeshift talkie. There's no room in his heart for you.

Because Doug loves movies.