Doug Loves Movies - Paul F. Tompkins, Jessica McKenna and Zach Reino guest

Episode Date: December 12, 2018

Back at the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Paul F. Tompkins, Jessica McKenna and Zach Reino to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby-sitchy seats With 50 ads and popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Yeah! Ho, ho, ho, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from the UCB Theater Franklin Avenue location in Los Angeles!

It's Tuesday, December 11th, 2018. Santa's gonna be here in two weeks. Did I really write that down? Oh, I get it now. It's a setup. Here we go. Santa will be here in two weeks, but fuck presents. I want name now. It's a setup. Here we go. Santa will be here in two weeks, but fuck presents. I want name tags.

Although somebody did give me a present here on stage. And I will open that later because it feels interesting. Not sure what's going on in there. What do you guys got? Oh, some Christmassy ones? Yeah, yeah. Amos and andrea right that's you the movie amos amos and andy yeah and then white what chris mike white chris mike all right oh the right steve he went uh with the, the right Steve. He went with the right stuff.

You see, like, well, just Mike is doing Christmas. Where's another Christmassy one? Right here. Oh, sorry, dude. Right here. What does that say? Santa Josh conquers the Martians. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, good job, dude. What are that say? Santa Josh conquers the Martians. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good job, dude. What are you drinking? Beer. Beer. What are you, in a movie? I love it in a movie. I'll have a beer, and the person by the bar goes, what the fuck?

A beer? Don't you know what kind you want? Well, great job, everybody. Thank you for bringing those name tags. As you can see, we'll just have three of you getting chosen this evening when I get my guests out here. But this was an interesting experiment. I decided that I wanted to give money to a cause,

and I said that I'd give $100 for each person who bought a ticket tonight. And up to $99 because that's how many seats this theater has when it's completely full. But a lot of people bought tickets that don't live anywhere near here just to get me to give $100 to the charity. And I'm happy that we made that money and that UCB got way more than... UCB sold a lot more than 99 seats, but to people who aren't here.

So that's why these two folks have a really great section over there on that side. But I just want to briefly introduce you to the inspiration for this charitable moment and bring out on stage Adam Green and his adorable Yorkie Arwen. Oh, here, just sit right there. So technically you're still in the audience. Corky, Arwen. Oh, here, just sit right there. So technically you're still in the audience because they had an issue with a dog here at UCB,

so they have rules now. I mean, look at this one. This one, if he flips out, she flips out, it could be absolute madness. She likes being on stage. But she is adorable. And how many years now have you had this marathon? This is the third year.

Okay, so basically the idea is Adam is co-host with Joe Lynch and with Arwen of the Movie Crypt podcast. And you're doing a marathon this weekend, Friday to Sunday. Yes, it's a 48 hour marathon so we we go on the air on friday at five and we stay on the air until sunday at five yeah and this is their podcast so it's just an audio live audio show for all that time if you're watching a movie or tv show you'll tell people what you're watching so they could sync it up and watch it with you yeah we have we do a lot of live commentaries, but the guests are amazing and they come

every hour, around the clock, the whole two days straight. It's all to raise money for Save a Yorkie Rescue. So the tagline is we're staying awake so that they don't get put to sleep. Oh, Lord. I almost

reminded you backstage to not say that. I don't know why you say that every time. You also like to say that you're going to save a wheelbarrow full of Yorkies, and I just don't like that image either. You see the poster? The poster's us with wheelbarrows filled with Yorkies. We don't know how to quantify it,

because so far we've raised about $40,000 in these two marathons we've done. Thank you. And people are like, how many dogs did you save with that? And there's no way to tell because some of them have been so horrifically abused. It's thousands of dollars in surgeries and stuff. And then other ones just need fostering. And so we just try to say, we say it's in wheelbarrows.

And so we just try to say, we say it's in wheelbarrows. So like if we raise $10,000, I think that's like something like 111 wheelbarrows of Yorkies or something like that. But last year, Doug was the patron saint because he opened the marathon and then was so into it that he stayed awake with us, even though he was at home and was tweeting about it the whole time. And we did a comment. I got some Z's in. Did you? Yeah, I slept a little bit. that he stayed awake with us, even though he was at home, and was tweeting about it the whole time. I got some Z's in. Did you? Yeah, I slept a little bit. Also probably went grocery shopping, did some things that weekend.

But I did stay in touch with the podcast the entire time, because you guys are great. The concept of doing a charity thing like that, I love it. And also part of the event this weekend, they're going to be doing auctions of various cool things, including a guest seat on an episode of Douglas Movies. So be sure to, you know, where do they go to? What's the website called? It's 32auctions.com.

And then it's slash Arwen 2018. But when you listen to the marathon, there's links and stuff right there. So you don't need to remember all that. Yeah, good. And sometimes we raise a pretty good amount of money for, you know, a guest on the show. We'll see how we do this time.

But no matter what, you know, some jerk out there could bid 10 bucks and I might have to have him on the show. We'll see how we do this time, but no matter what, some jerk out there could bid $10, and I might have to have him on the show. If no one else outbids him. But usually it goes pretty well. Is there anything else we need to touch on? I think that's it, but the guest lineup this year is insane. Joe Dante is opening it, and then we're doing a live reading of Chris Columbus's early draft of Gremlins

back when it was a hard R. We're doing a reading of George Romero's script for The Mummy. A lot of people don't know he was supposed to do a Mummy movie at one point. Bob Goldthwait is coming on.

Tom Lennon. It's going to be a really... Oh, Marcia Gay Harden, Academy Award winner. So it's going to be... Oh my God, Harden Academy Award winner. So it's going to be really good. Joe Lynch has such a hard on for Harden. They work together.

Yeah, they work together and he loved it. But thank you for... Oh, that dog is... Oh shit, that's video. Sorry. Hang on, just photo. Arwen! Arwen! Look at me! God damn it arwen god damn i'm trying to save your friends oh there you go that's a good shot thank you adam green and arwen thank you have a great

marathon this weekend raise lots of money for those pups save a bunch of them I brought for the prize bag tonight a no puppies oh my god hey bring Arwen back here I want to put her in the prize bag no this is a this is a

like a ukulele case that I got at the Hard Rock Hotel they put some nuts in it when I checked in. And I was like, oh, that would be good to put stuff in and give away. And so it's got a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt, a couple of lighters, and a Doug Loves Movies sticker in there. Plus the stuff brought by my three guests. And as you guys can see, is that me or is that a loud noise? Oh, it's stopping. So he's probably just using the bathroom or something. Well, oh, there it stopped. Oh, I think one of my guests was doing that backstage.

Oh wait, Doug plugs Take five back there I'll be at the Emerald Cup In Santa Rosa, California this weekend And San Diego, Irvine and Austin Are cities I'll be hitting during the holiday taint Hashtag holiday taint tour For all my dates and deets And links of my, including Portland

January 5th, go to Douglovesmovies.com That's Douglovesmovies.com. That's douglovesmovies.com. Yeah. Let's get my guests out here. Please give it up for Zach Marino,

Jessica McKenna, and Paul F. Tompkins. Doug, get off my cord. Sorry, Paul. Doug, sorry. I can't do the whole show like this. Doug, what happened to the table? Do you not do the table anymore?

We didn't do the table today because we've got Eric Calvert on drums and Scott Passarella on keyboards. Yeah. I don't follow the logic there, but okay. We couldn't have...

Listen. They're not taking up the space that a table would. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really think too hard about that okay. It couldn't have... They're not taking up the space that a table would. Yeah, I didn't really think too hard about that part. It just felt... Two more people plus instruments. No table. It's just that when I've seen the

Off Book podcast, let's hear it for them, you guys. This is Off Book with Zach and Jessica. Every time I've seen it, they just sit on chairs like this and they don't have a table. So this is you reaching across the aisle. Yeah. This is a bipartisan effort. We've been famously

stonewalling each other for four years, refusing to collaborate. Finally he said, you know what? I'll put the table away. And we said, well, do your show. And sometimes I think I don't even need a table Maybe right now cuz you've got stuff in your hand. Yeah, Doug Here let me take it. Oh, thank you. Put on the ground. The ground is the biggest table of all that's true. It's nature's table

All right, so all right We gotta ask Zach and Jessica Either one of you can respond What's going on with Off Book the musical podcast Where can people hear it where can people see it live They can hear it wherever They find their podcast and they can't see It live for a little bit

Unless they're in Bethlehem Pennsylvania or San Francisco those are in January There's nobody in either of those Yeah nobody lives there in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania or San Francisco. Those are in January. There's nobody in either of those places. Nobody lives there. And also... Same weekend? Weird booking for you guys. Well, we're splitting up.

I'm going to do it in San Francisco. We're going to Skype him through. San Francisco is part of Sketch Fest. That's like the 18th, 19th and then the next weekend in Pennsylvania. And also, Zach and I have an album of music we wrote

that... Well, I mean, didn't you improvise it at some point? Well, yes. That's a great point. All thoughts are improvisations in your mind.

So really, a song has never been written. Yeah, that's true. Every song has been improvised until perfect yeah so really improvise

repeat this whole time I've been like creating separation when we do but it's ridiculous it's the same thing yeah but that comes out

January 18th but you can get three tracks right now if you search the Zack and the Jess there's a Hanukkah song a Christmas song and an emo

pop punk song about the universal experience of having waiters over-explain small plates to you. I was in London for the London Podcast Festival. Nice. Went out to dinner with a large group of people.

It was a small plates place. The waiter refused to believe that we understood what small plates were. Yeah. He asked everyone, do you know how this works? And we were all like, yes, we do. And then he was like, all right, here's what happens.

He wouldn't accept it. Did he explain that they get bigger as you go down the menu, you need to order more, and they're going to come out. Now you're doing it. Well, boy, have we got a song for you, Paul. Did you know that you needed to sing along

in the style of like Panic at the Disco about that? That's what we got. Thanks for asking. Oh, you're welcome. And Paul F. Tompkins is here. Thank you. Big supporter of Yorkies and all that they do. Yeah.

So very happy to have you here for this special event. Yeah. And what do you got to, what's going on with you these days? I mean. The usual stuff. Everything's good. Okay. You might want to maybe think about what you might want to plug

and we'll do it at the end of the show. Maybe I came at you with it too early. I'm doing a bit. I'm busy all the time, guys. I've always got stuff going on. I'm trying to think of this time. When does this come out? Tomorrow-ish. Get ready for fucking

PCAST Blast this Saturday at the theater at the Ace Hotel. That's right, downtown LA. I'll be a part of three shows during that all-day event. Not back-to-back though. You get some breaks? Yeah! Back-to-back would have been preferable.

You don't want to sit around there all day. No, I love... Downtown LA is a wonderful place just to wander. You know, just to be like. That's how a lot of those people down there started. Yeah. I'm going to put my phone in a locker and I'm just going to walk around.

Just lose myself. Yeah. I like it. And everything I have. Alright, tell us about what you brought for the prize bag tonight, Paul. Instead of bringing some self-promotional bullshit like I usually do, I brought some seasonal food. Look, here's some treats.

These are Lindor truffles. These are very classy. And they're a Christmas theme. They're peppermint white chocolate truffles. It's good. Yeah, they're like slippery marbles that you suck on until they go away. That's right. Oh, that's right. And then Pez.

Santa Claus Pez. That's right. And that's right. That's right. That's right. That's the Pez slogan, right? Yeah. Pez.

That's right. Have you ever wanted to eat out of Santa's neck? I think, isn't that like, I think there's a whole Christmas song about that, if I'm not mistaken. Santa, when you come shimmy shimmy down my chimney, I don't have cookies and milk for you. Santa, when you come shimmy shimmy down my chimney, I don't have cookies and milk for you. No, if we are sitting by the fire, there's one thing I would like to do. Let me suck something from your neck.

Just bite into Santa's Adam's apple Just chew on it until it goes away Bye bye Santa Claus's neck Take a big bite out of Santa's apple. And wish him a Merry Christmas Day. That's right. Pez. Pez. Oh, Pez.

Oh, Pez. Oh, Pez. Oh. That was their rejected slogan. Yeah. That's like, you can use this as a fun curse. Ah, Pez. That's right, kids. Now you can curse in front of your parents and there's nothing they can do about it.

You'll never know. My brother and sister used to spell Nintendo to each other when they wanted to go play it, like my parents would know. Spelling words. The grown-ups can't do this. Hey, hey, N-I-N. That's so bad.

I think they could do it fast. They're like, hey, do you want an N-I-N-T-N-E-O? Oh, okay. That just sounds like E-I-E-I-O or something. Doug, what did we bring? Yeah. Well, last time... Doug, do you want to know?

Doug, do you want to know? So last time when we were here, we pointed out that we are poor and don't get cast in movies. So we were quickly like, that was our swag. But we have a little bit more. We got this bag for doing a Soul Pancake charity show. Inside of it is, we have a beautiful leg.

Oh, that's nice. Smell like licking maca. And we have a Pathfinder lick-toed goblin. Oh, mahalo. Mahalo. And then you have to guess the theme of the bag at the end of the bag. Also, a series of stickers from our podcast off book. Oh, mahi-mahi.

Also. This was a piece of swag. This fell apart. Okay. But it is a small bundle. Of wood. Of the big island. So you can burn that and you can purify your home.

And then finally, you know, everybody loves pins. Why not a pin that says Barada 2020? It's whimsical because it's as if a cheese was running for public office. Oh, and then...

And then another pin from our fake emo band Every Place I Cry. And that is all part of the theme, things we put in a bag. Yeah. Oh, that was the theme.

That's the theme. Stuff in a bag. Bag things. That's the theme every week. I'm glad you in a bag. Yeah. Oh, that was the theme. That's the theme. Stuff in a bag. Bag things. That's the theme every week. I'm glad you brought a bag. So far, we don't have one. So we'll throw everything in there. Everything can go in this bag.

We'll consolidate, as we like to say. Oh, Paul. I'm playing like I tried to steal it. That was very fun. I get mischievous at Christmas. I call it Christievous. Ooh. Christievous. Well, Christievous.

Well, what happens when you're feeling Christievous? Well. Every year at Christmas time, I get a little twinkle in my eye. A twinkle, a twinkle, a twinkle. Every year at Christmas time, I make my parents want to die I play little tricks and I'm a little bitch And no one likes it at all No one likes it at all

No one likes it, bad Paul No one likes it, no one likes it No one likes it bad Paul no one likes it no one likes it no one likes it at all when you are one Christian is Paul it's true sure

well little pranks pranks Christmas pranks Christmas pranks we need more we need more have you pranks. We need more. Have you been to the cinema lately, Paul? Doug, I'm here to tell you that I haven't been inside the cinema,

but I have rented films at home. So you still have access. I do. To motion pictures. They can't keep me away from them, Doug. What was the last one you saw? The last one I saw... Here's two that I saw.

That I'd never seen. I missed the first time around. Mars Attacks, which I'd never seen. I loved that movie. I thought it was hilarious. It's a really strange movie that I found very entertaining and enjoyable. Number two, I finally got around

to watching the remake of It. Oh. This is not good, guys. The first scene in the sewer is the best part. Yeah. That's early on? Very early on. And you still got a lot of It to get through.

And it made me realize, because I had seen the miniseries. I've never read the book. Books because I had seen the miniseries, I've never read the book, books. I'd seen the miniseries and then I watched this movie and it made me realize that Pennywise is a very incompetent

child killer. He's not good at it, guys. He's not good at it. It takes him forever to kill such a small amount of children. He's got to do a whole song and dance about their greatest fear.

You've got to figure that out and try to work something up. People on Twitter were like, he drags it out because the fear makes them more delicious to him. I'm like, yeah, according to him. That's what he says. Why is he the unimpeachable source here? I think he's terrible

at his job and he should be fired. You would prefer us to replace him with a more competent child murderer. If the job needs to be done which I guess we've established it does. Then let's get someone in there who knows what they're doing.

I only saw this one and then it led me to, like, a Wikipedia, like, what's up? And, you know, where you leave the theater, and you're like, all right, but, like, what's up? And book spoilers, I guess, but it's so crazy. There's an inner dimension and a turtle,. Like all from a scary clown movie. Stephen King. I mean, I feel like I'm safe in saying this cokehead

had some plot holes in his books. It's almost like sometimes things were like overwritten and that's like four stories but then one that maybe like an editor that he would allow to touch his stuff would like make it a little clearer.

We don't talk enough about how Stephen King's editor was also a cokehead. This makes perfect sense to me, man. This is really good. I already mailed it off. Here's your copy. Did you hear about how Stephen King wrote a book about a killer Yorkie?

And there's someone over there who's intrigued. And it became a Broadway musical that closed in one night. It closed during the performance. No, Doug. Tell us about it. I wanted you to sing about it. I've never had this happen to me. What a strange feeling I'm having. Like that character in the musical that talks things every time it's his turn.

I loved that preamble. I thought that was great. I had to come up with something. I thought you were going to jump into it. Oh my god, he's getting so excited. In the dark of the night I hear the tiniest I hear the tiniest bark Before the tiniest bite

You can still die from it You can still die but It's a painful death Of a thousand cuts The smallest murderer ever. You're not safe when you run or when you jog. Cause it has so much energy

and you'll never see it coming. You just got murdered by a tiny dog. But wait! The mayor's here to talk, sing us, throw us a plan. Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor!

Citizens of Arlenia, Mr. Mayor! This dog is a problem. This dog is a problem. Did we name this town after the dog or did it name us? Where did it start? But Mr. Mayor, how will it end?

With torches, go. Torches and torches. Kill the dog. Kill. Oh, sorry. They're stopping us. Oh, we're being closed. Oh, we're closed?

Is this horrible? Is this supposed to be a benefit Broadway show? Oh, sorry. And we were just chanting Kill the Dogs? We understand why we're closing. I'm so sorry. Okay, yes. But this will still be the original cast recording?

Okay. Oh, you're still recording right now? Right now? All of this goes on the track? That feels weird, because you can't edit it? Your editor's on cocaine? Okay. Yeah, I understand.

Doug Benson, everyone. Just remember, we were in a musical together. I do. I just talked. That's right. You did a great job. Doug and I were in a musical called Waiting for Studio 54, where Doug played Andy Warhol

and I played Truman Capote. Uh-huh. Both were super accurate portrayals. Super accurate. And it was those characters

plus Halston, Liza Minnelli, Martin Scorsese. The whole gang was there. All waiting for to go to a party on New Year's Eve. Brooke Shields and her mom.

Brooke Shields and her mom. Terry. That's right. But anyway. It sounds great. It was really fun. I really wish I could see it. This is the part of the show where I say,

let the games begin! Yay! Yay! Doug as Andy Warhol sang a song called Why Would a Woman Wear a Dress More Than Once? A dress more than once, it just doesn't make sense. It was great. This sounds great.

It was great. It was neat. Tenacious D was in it. Can I ask a question? Is everyone mad here? I feel like there's a weird energy happening. They're just here to save Yorkies. They don't care about trivia or musicals.

This is not your regular audience. This is exclusively a Yorkie-saving crowd. This is a Yorkie-saving crowd. They're here to take care of business, not to have fun. Okay. They're here to save Yorkies. But they did bring some name tags. And so I'd like each of you to select who you would like to play on behalf of.

I agree to your terms. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these messages from... Support for today's show comes from SimpliSafe. If you've been thinking about getting a simply safe home security system but have been waiting for the holidays when all the tech deals come out you've made a smart move because right now you can get a great deal on simply safe if you go to simply safe.com slash dlm and take advantage of their amazing holiday offer. They rarely do anything like this, but they're doing it for our listeners.

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Holmesandwatson.movie to watch the trailer and sign up for updates and don't miss the comedy event of the holiday season Holmes and Watson in theaters on December 25th that's Christmas back to the show. Alright, we're back. That was a very mellow

name tag selecting process. Jess and I fought a little bit, but it was silent. But usually people, some people are yelling out, pick me, pick me, but you know, as Zach can attest, you have some candy canes dangling from your sign

that's going to get picked. Oh, and a joint there in the middle, I believe. Or a hypodermic needle, I'm not sure. These guys found all the food ones. You just taped a clean needle on there in case you need it. Is that what it is? What is that? No, it's like a joint inside a little casket.

It's what? It's a dead marijuana joint. A dead marijuana joint in a little casket. It's what? It's a dead marijuana joint. A dead marijuana joint in a little casket. Oh, sure. And will those candy canes get you high as fuck? Okay. Asked and answered. Oh, yeah. I've never had

a candy cane that's been medicated. Why not? That sounds like a no-brainer. I mean, I haven't had one because no one's given me one, but... Why not? That sounds like a no-brainer. I mean, I haven't had one because no one's given me one. Why not? Listen, you seven-year-olds. Who are you playing for, Paul? I'm playing for Mike.

And I chose Mike's because it's lenticular. This is Mikechete Kills. He took Mike Machete Kills. He took Machete Kills and he put Mike on the front. Yeah. Fun. Right there. Do you get to keep that? Does he get to keep that, Mike? Mike says he can keep it. Mike, I'll return it to you. I mean, I feel like I've seen the cover and I'm good.

Yeah. I'll save you guys well some trouble and just take care of that right now. There we go. He's got his precious machete back. You didn't buy an additional machete kills in order to... Oh, okay. All right. Yeah, that's not a double. I can't bear to rip that from your library, Mike.

He probably has the DVD and the Blu-ray. Jessica. Guys, what's happening? I feel like... I feel like there's such a steep drop-off. All of a sudden, we get a couple quips out, and then it's like, we're done. The songist knows when it's time to move on.

I guess so. And it's immediately. It's now. Now. And now. Keep this moving. What is Jessica's pun name that she chose? We must hear.

What is it? Christmas Vacay Ian. Christmas Vacay Ian. Christmas Vacay Ian. National Lampoon. It's a big fan. Big fan. Big fan of this film. Oh, you're a big fan of the film?

Yeah. Okay. I assume. Well, Ian, are you also? Ian might be as well. Yeah, two thumbs up. Or he just needed a movie that had Ian in it. Both.

Both, yeah. I appreciate the season. A happy accident. Both. Both, yeah. I appreciate the season. A happy accident. Yeah. Here's the thing to look for the next time you watch National Lampoon's

Christmas Vacation. The animated sequence at the beginning, Santa's got such tiny feet. You guys can look out for that. Every time, I'm floored by it.

Oh, I can't wait to see it again now. I never noticed his tiny feet. It's right at the beginning if you've already watched it this year and you're like, I can't wait to see it again now. I never noticed his tiny feet. It's right at the beginning. If you've already watched it this year and you're like, I can't do a second viewing,

you just watch the beginning. I mean, an Easter egg in a Christmas movie? Come on! I'll fucking mug. I don't care. Maybe there's a lot of non-English people

in the crowd. Get these people going with some mugging, yeah. There's people from Yorkshire. Got derailed from a tour. Vossi's on? There's some candy on there, too. Do you like that candy? Yeah, this is great.

Hershey's cake flavor? Candy cane. Oh, candy cane. And a Reese's Pieces treat. Reese's Pieces treat? Treat. Is it supposed to be? Oh, tree. Yeah, it's in the shape of a tree. It's got some pieces in it. Reese's Pieces Tree? Treat. Tree. Is it supposed to be? Oh, tree.

Yeah, it's in the shape of a tree. It's got some pieces in it. It's okay. I shouldn't have yelled treat. No, it's all right. I'm scared that we gotta move on. We gotta move on. What is this, Funky Town?

All right. And Zach was talking about his name tag earlier, and I just totally moved on. We already talked about the very good joint in the coffin at the bottom, but we've got White Chris Mike. I might have gone with Mike Christmas. But White Chris Mike is also very good.

Hey, potato, potato. That's just my punch up. White Chris Mike. I mean, Mike Christmas would be a pretty cool fucking name. But it's just some very good work all around. And guys, I'm loving this, but we have to move on. We've got to get to these games, you guys. Like, I wish we had time for a song about how we gotta get to these games.

Hit it, fellas. Yes, let's slow it down. Welcome to the Olympics Oh, the games are about to begin But they don't start for another hour or so So y'all just settle the fuck in We promise the games are coming The games are coming soon

But it's the motherfucking Olympics So calm down while we set the mood We'll get to the games When we goddamn well feel like it We'll get to the games When we decide to Hey girl I know you travel from another country

To see people doing ancient feats of strength Like they had in Greece or whatnot But this song is very important to us Because we're getting attention. So, once we feel like we've filled that hole inside our hearts, then, and only then, let the games begin. We'll get to the game. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo case That's super fun, yeah. I'll do one. Do one. It's like Trump with the coin toss.

Oh, my God. I got this. Coin toss, use a pen. That actually was better. It flipped around. It did not flip around at all. I need this, though. You do need that pen.

I got to write some stuff down. All right, so we started a little late tonight, so hopefully we won't go too late, but I've got some games worked out for you guys, starting with something I call Purple Rain Man. This is a... Yeah. Give it up.

This is a game where I'll say the stars of a movie mashup title like Purple Rain Man. Then what do we do, Doug? Jesus. Guess like the wind. Guess all you can until somebody gets the full correct mashup title. And I'll tell you right now, this is not an easy one. Oh, okay. I'll tell you right now, this is not an easy one. Oh, okay. I'll tell you right now. I'm going to be bad at this.

I'll tell you right now. I don't think I understand. This is different than Build-A-Title. Yeah, but it is title smashed together like Build-A-Title. So like Purple Rain Man, the stars of Purple Rain Man

would be Prince and Dustin Hoffman I understand now guys here's what's going on okay he's going to name a couple actors okay and then we have to guess what the movie would be based on two of their famous movies

I see so we don't just say Prince and Dustin Hoffman that's what I was going to do. But I think you're right. He does that. I think he does that. Can we get clarification for what he does? Yeah.

What do you do? He goes, he goes, yeah. Look what I got. Paw Patrol. That's cute. Okay. So he's distracting us. He gave us, there's so much cute dog stuff tonight. That's cute. Okay, so he's distracting us.

There's so much cute dog stuff tonight. I think that he goes Prince and Dustin Hoffman, and then we always say Purple Rain Man. Okay, great. So it's just a call and response. Yes, anytime he says Prince and Dustin Hoffman, we say Purple Rain Man. Okay, got it. Great, got it.

Doug, we're ready to play Purple Rain Man. Oh, hey, I'm sorry. I was just having fun with this little doggy somebody gave me. It's cute. All right, third build. We start from third build and work our way up to the top build. Why did we do that? That wasn't part of the explanation at all.

Oh, yeah. This is like a reality show. There's a twist every turn this is the beginning it's already a turn why would it be a twist at that turn it's twisting and turning

third builder Tim Conway and Peggy Lipton I'm just gonna breeze through this second build Suzanne Plachette and Dennis Quaid

and then the top build people in this movie mashup title are Dean Jones and Josh Gad. Oh, my God. Josh Gad. So the first part of the title is a movie that stars Tim Conway, Suzanne Plachette, and Dean Jones. Okay. Yeah, not a current film. And then Peggy Lipton Dennis Quaid

And Josh Gad Were in a movie That was I believe last year Maybe this year Paul can I talk to you Real quick Excuse me Doug

Wait you guys are You guys are competing Against each other You know that right I understand that Paul can I talk to you Real quick Yeah Zach what's up

He did not do the thing That you said he was going to do Should we still say Purple Rain Man I'm scared to advise you To do that Because I feel like It might be wrong No no it's okay I got it that you said he was going to do. Should we still say Purple Rain Man? I'm scared to advise you to do that because I feel like it might be wrong. No, no, it's okay. I got it.

I like to guess, Doug. Okay. Purple Rain Man. Incorrect. Okay. Great guess, though. I had a feeling. Okay, Josh.

At least you're in the game. Okay, let me go with... Off Book of Mormon. Sorry. That's good. You got a plug in there? Thank you. You mentioned a great musical as well.

Which Josh Gad was in, so... Okay. All right, so... I'll just tell you this. Maybe this will help you guys out. Dean Jones plays a man who turns into a dog. Okay. All right. Does that help at all?

It does. It helps with part of it. Yeah. I won't lie. And Josh Gad is a guy who's the voice of several dogs. Okay. Uh-oh. No at all.

Okay. Wait. Okay. You got it? I have the shaggy dog's life. No. Okay. I like it, though. It was a good guess.

Thanks. There was a Shaggy Dog and then they made another one. They made a sequel to the Shaggy Dog. The Shaggy DA. Mm-hmm. That's true.

That's what it's called. It is true. Because the man who turns into a dog is also a district attorney. What if the man who turns into a dog has a job?

Yeah. That's going to be quite a... Yeah, the first movie is just a homeless man turns into a dog has a job? Yeah. That's going to be quite a scary situation. Yeah, the first movie is just a homeless man turns into a dog and no one notices. Yeah. No one's expecting him anywhere. He doesn't have to make any excuses or anything. It's like, yeah, that was weird. I was a dog for 48 hours.

Okay, so that's the first part and then there's this crazy dog reincarnation movie called A Dog's Purpose A Dog's Purpose? So this is the Shaggy D.A. Dog's Purpose I didn't know that is the answer I was never gonna get

The Shaggy D.A. Dog's Purpose? Yes Fuck you! Wait, wait, wait. I have a better idea. That doesn't work at all. Is the DA even in the right place? Yeah, the Shaggy DA.

What is the name of the dog's purpose? Does it have dog in it? Is it the Shaggy DA dog? It's the Shaggy DA and a dog's purpose. Why would it be Shaggy dog's purpose? If the first movie was a Shaggy dog, why would it be Shaggy D.A. and a dog's purpose. Why would it be Shaggy Dog's Purpose? If the first movie was a Shaggy Dog, why would it be Shaggy Dog's Purpose? Because the connection's just the article A.

Just A. D. A. Shaggy D. A. is in the middle. But it's... No! No, it's unacceptable. D. A dog's purpose. Unacceptable. Okay, wait.

Let's try the version of the game we thought. Yes. When we say Dustin Hoffman Prince, you say Purple Rain Man. Dustin Hoffman Prince. Purple Rain Man. We did it. It's a perfect game. Great game.

So everybody wins. Yeah. That's right. No matter who wins Everybody wins Movies I just had a hard time Thinking of two movies

That have dogs in them That the titles could link up You know How about like The Shaggy Dog There's no movie That just starts with the word dog How about

How about Dog Day Afternoon That's good There's no dogs in it Dog Day Afternoon, that's good. There's no dogs in it. Dog Day Afternoon's a purpose. Oh, I can't believe I've gotten away with this game for so long. Finally somebody came along. All right, so we've got to play one that's easier to understand.

And I think I've got the perfect one for that. It's called How Long Is It? I'm going to name a thing. You guys guess how long it is. All right. Person with the closest number without going over wins. So not necessarily a movie. No, it's just a thing. Household objects.

A plane. Long can be both time and energy. How long is that plane? Yeah. It's about four hours. Four hours or 300 feet. Okay, and I dare say that Paul came the closest

to potentially winning that last game. So, Paul, you'll go first. Okay. I think because you're physically closest to him. It's easier to remember. And then there's... And then we'll go to Jessica, then to Zach, and... That sounds fair.

Yeah. Sometimes going last in this game is helpful because you get to hear the other bids first. Yeah, it's like Price is Right without going over. Closest without going over. Ooh, I'm gonna bid one minute. At the start

of the Tom Hanks movie Turner and Hooch, how long does Scott Turner have left in the local police department before he moves to a bigger city to get some real cases? Can I go first? He's tired of these fake cases. And you were first, Paul.

How long has he been transferred? At the very beginning of the movie, he's like, I've got this long to be here, and then I'm off to the big city. Okay. I'm going to say in a classic ode to the Barenaked Ladies, one week. Yes, ma'am. All right. Jessica?

I'm going to say six months. Okay. I think they put a real ticking clock at the beginning of that movie. I'm out of here in six months. We'll see what happens.

A lot could happen. I swear, if Turner & Oates takes place over the course of six months, I will watch that movie. Fair, fair. I don't think I really understood the premise of this movie. I thought I did, and then I didn't.

And then I caught up real quick. I haven't seen it, but I assume that he quits his job and then has to get a new job at a different police station, so he would have to put in two weeks notice. So I'm going to say two weeks. Wait, wait, wait. Can I amend my answer?

Yeah. I'm going to say like four and a half yards. Wait, that's how long he was just stepping until... Hold on, I want to change my answer too. Five hands. Wait, wait, wait. I have one too. Five hands. Wait, wait, wait.

I have one too. I think it's a trick question because I haven't seen the movie, but I bet he never transfers. So I bet infinity. He has a literal eternity until he takes his job. Well, I'm saying at the beginning of the movie, he says out loud,

this is how long it's going to be. Sure, I'm answering a different question. What is the truth? Is that allowed? Can we make up our own questions to answer? Okay, so what are your final answers? Infinity and something about a ladder measurement of space? Oh, sorry.

If we're answering any question, Peter Scolari. Okay, Peter Scolari is always the answer. I'm going to stick with one week. Okay. Can we get a number out of you, Jessica? Do you really want to stick with a man's name? I'll go with one month.

Five hours. Five hours? Okay. Oh, wait. No, this is easy enough to figure out because it's closest without going over So Zach wins because it's three days Three days

They only give those characters three days to fall in love and learn from each other? This is wild Did you know that Hooch is a dog? One of them's a dog. I assume there'd be more of a thawing period. There's a scene where Tom Hanks has to cry, and according to IMDb,

he cried because he really liked that dog and it was the last day of the shoot. Aww. He's like, I'm never going to see this dog again, so. Yeah, they put him to death right after the filming stopped yep I mean if anyone could hook up

seeing that dog again Tom Hanks is choosing to not see that dog again if Tom Hanks wants to see that dog again you'd think he'd have access but he'll make it happen

you know the real owner probably just got jealous at how much they bonded you know how it is like when you're in a shoot you're a family for that time, but then you go back to your real life

after the shoot. I guess, but who's this dog owner that's like, I know Tom Hanks wants to visit my dog, but no thank you having Tom Hanks

around my house. But any owner who knows they're going to get upstaged by Tom Hanks, that dog will never love them as much as Tom Hanks is there. I don't think Tom Hanks has the same sway

with dogs as me. Do you think dogs have a concept of people? Do dogs have a concept of fame? So if the dog is sitting there with the owners Arwen seems unaffected

by what's happened today. Arwen, Arwen, where are you? Where's Arwen? Right there. Has fallen asleep. She's asleep. Oh, no, she's up now. Did she like the dog

in Stars Born? Because Bradley Cooper kept that dog that's nice yeah the owner was like what he's like

I'm keeping this dog and then as he's pulling away the owner goes hey and the dog turns around and he's like I just want to

take another look at you I stole a dog on Busy Phillips talk show she had Brian Tyree Henry on who's in Widows and interacts a lot with a dog and they brought the dog onto the show

to reunite them and he was so excited I was like I don't know why talk shows are doing that all the time here's the dog you worked with yeah it can't cost that much

to get the dog on the show. He was thrilled. That's so great. It was great to watch. There was a dog on this show once. It was tonight. God damn it. My memory's really...

She's right there. Yeah, this is the second dog, because we had Jumpy the dog on one time. Jumpy? He did all of his tricks. He pretended to pee on my leg and all that. Sounds like a fake dog. What was Jumpy's number one trick, would you say?

Jumping. Absolutely named. And just seeming very nervous all the time. I know a lot of dogs are going to do that trick. Not nervous, but just very hyper and guarded. Excited. Kind of like I'm inhabiting a world

full of people that are bigger than me and could hurt me. Yeah. Dog things. Yeah. I live in a world of monsters.

Yeah. But I know which ones are famous. We have to move on. You're right. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Boop, boop, boop, boop. So this...

There's a little one in there. Just a little one. Let's play Last Man Stanton. Yay! Named after that infamous time when Paul and I had to convince Harry Dean Stanton

that Twitter was a thing was an interesting episode if you want to go back and listen to it he demanded to know what it was and then we told him and then he said

it was bullshit yes it's like we tried to save you the trouble Harry Dean yeah and there was no one there to sing about moving on we really had to It's like, we tried to save you the trouble, Harry Dean. Yeah, and there was no one there to sing about moving on. We really had to, like, really walk him through it.

Jen Kirkman was there. All three of us gave our explanation of what Twitter is. He wasn't buying any of it. I mean, what is Twitter? I know, right? But he wasn't being philosophical about it. Everybody, everybody, everybody log on, log on, log on. What is Twitter? I'll tell you who doesn't care what Twitter is.

Harry Dean Stanton. I'll tell you no matter how much I talk about raving and ranting. How people can like a retweet and I think that's helpful and neat. Harry Dean Stanton doesn't think it's real. And in fairness, he's right. Twitter isn't real at all. I put so many characters into the bubble, and I put them out onto the internet and then nobody calls.

If you think Twitter's real, then you're wrong. If you think Twitter's real, then you're wrong. Harry Dean Stanton improvised this song. If you think Twitter's real, then you're wrong. He improvised it so many times that he wrote it, and he gave it to us to perform tonight. That's how it works. Go ahead, tell us.

Tell us, we have to move on! Tell it to our face! It's just a gentleman Trying to use the crapper Bullshit's his trigger word Doug what's next? Last man standing I'm gonna get Actually

Little twist I'm gonna name three People I'm gonna name three people. I'm going to name three people and then you guys take turns naming movies that that person, persons have been in. I don't think they've been in any movies together. And

if you can't think of one, normally you'd be out, but tonight we've got a special lifeline. And you win. What? You win. Oh, if you can special lifeline. And you win. You win. Oh, if you can't think of one, you win? Normally you'd be out. Tonight,

you win the game. I can't believe I've never thought of that. Now that's a twist at a turn. Yeah. No, tonight, if you can think of a movie, but you just can't think of the right title, each one of you has one time. Did they mic the sink in the bathroom?

I think so. I think we should have told that gentleman to hold off on doing his wash. Oh, it's gone again now. But I don't think the listeners will be able to hear it. Too bad. I know. They're really missing out.

That's why you got to come live, guys. Missing out on the live experience. Got to see the live show. These people know. Okay. No, if you can't... Oh, he's back. Hey, nobody else go.

There's not that much show left and you're going to make that hideous noise. Yeah, dude, you just made a hideous noise while you were in the bathroom. It's not the one you're thinking of. No. It was the sink. Yeah.

It probably smelled great, but it made a terrible noise. Probably smelled great. Yeah. Okay, so if you can't think of a, if you want to try to describe the movie, which players do sometimes, they just start kind of thinking out loud

and describing the movie. If you describe it in a song, and I can guess what movie you're singing about, then you get saved. What a wrinkle. Yeah. Special musical wrinkle. Who won that last game?

Was it you, Paul? Yeah, I bet it was. No. No, now that I think about it, it wasn't. Because you said one week. Yeah, against literally all odds, I think.

Yeah, Zach did it. Zach took that one. So we'll start with Zach. We'll go to Jessica. Then we'll go to Paul. And I picked to Jessica. Then we'll go to Paul. And I picked three people. So you're going to be naming the films of, when it gets to you,

name a film of any one of these dudes. Oh, boy. Snoop Dogg. Bob Barker. Or Colin Firth. Colin Firth. Colin Firth. Okay, great. Zach, start us off.

The films of those three giants in the world of entertainment. He only has to name one movie that one of them has been in. But don't say only because I'm having trouble already. He nearly has to say... He only has to do that.

Just one movie featuring one of those three gentlemen. His tiny task is naming a movie. Yeah. Oh, you think if he just names one, one of those three guys is probably in it? Chances are, I mean, it's three guys. Right. How many movies are there, ten?

Three guys into ten I mean that's good odds I mean if you don't count prequels if you don't count prequels ten yes yeah don't count prequels I thought you said

you don't count pickles and I do you better count your pickles young man love actually yes it is Snoop Dogg whoop whoop You better count your pickles, young man. Love Actually. Yes! It is! Snoop Dogg!

Whoop, whoop! All right, so Colin Firth was in that. Good job. Jessica? I'm going to keep the Firth word. Very good. I'm going to keep the Firth. I'll leave it at that.

Keeping the Firth. Who's going to come in Firth tonight? Bridget Jones's diary. I'm going to keep the home Firth burning and say Kingsman the

secret of Nim. Is it Kingsman the Secret Service? Yes. Yes, you did it. That was a close one. All right. Back to you there, Zach.

Kingsman the Golden Circle. Paul helped you out with that one. I said it like I didn't know, but I did know. Bridget Jones's Diary, Edge of Reason. Ooh, yeah. One of the great titles.

Like, did she murder somebody in that? Isn't there a Mel Gibson movie with that same title? Bridget Jones. All right, next. Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore. There we did it.

The Bob Barker movie. Great job. Bob Barker's off the table, you guys. OTT. I can tell you right now, he's not in any other films. Which, that is a pristine film career. One and done. One and done.

Big hit. Just a big fight scene, a lot of punching, and then swearing, and see you later. As himself. I think he got to mention spaying your cats,

and neutering your pets. Yeah, he spayed and neutered a cat on screen. Yeah, there you go. Same cat. That was weird. It's not weird we're back Zach

Bridget Jones' baby wait what? I have no idea isn't that one of them? sure literally no one can confirm or deny in this audience

it is there's definitely one where she has a baby but I think it's called like baby's day out of Bridget Jones I think it's called Baby's Day Out of Bridget Jones. I think it's called Bridget Jones' Baby. What I don't know is if Snoop Dogg is in it or not.

All right, I'll let you stay in another round of you singing a song called Bridget Jones' Baby. Sure, sure. She had so much trouble trying to pick a man. They were both just too good. So she hit a puck, she hit an acorn in her hand. And then she put both hands behind her back and she moved it back and forward. And then she put it back

in front of her and she said, Colin Firth, if you could pick which hand has an acorn, then I will have your baby. But I'll keep it for myself. And Colin Firth said, that's destructive behavior.

But I love you, so I'll pick the right one. What the hell? And he had Bridget Jones's baby. Because he picked the hand with the incoordinate. True. Beautiful song. Beautiful. All right, Zach, you got one more round, and then we'll be back to you again.

I will bow out if you can guess the riddle that I just came up with. Wait, I've never been asked to guess a riddle. I have to guess what the whole riddle is? Yeah, exactly. What is my riddle. I have to guess what the whole riddle is? Yeah, exactly. What is my riddle? I have combined two movies.

Purple Rain Man. Purple Rain Man. It's like that. Ready? Bridget Jones and Tom Cruise. Yeah, Jerry Maguire. No. One of the movies has already been said. Oh, I know it. If you you can guess it I will bow out

Bridget Jones' Edge of Tomorrow oh that's not how that works and that's how you make up a game alright so I wanted you to stay, Zach, but you're out? I don't know. I can't do that to Mike, but yeah. That was a promise I made, so yes, I'm out.

Okay. I don't know why you're making promises. Who got the promise? A promise he invented himself that he's holding himself to. I guess, yeah. That hurts an audience member. We're just finding out about this promise. Yeah, I know. We weren't a part of it. An 11th hour reveal. I would never do that to you,

Ian. Two thumbs, a silent two thumbs up. Thanks, Ian. Okay, I'm pretty sure. People hate that title, Edge of Tomorrow, that Tom Cruise movie. It's people call it Live, Die, Repeat. But the original title of the movie was The Edge, Edge of Tomorrow, that Tom Cruise movie. It's people call it Live, Die, Repeat. Live, Die, Repeat. But the original title of the movie was The Edge of Reason of Tomorrow.

So go ahead, Jessica. Boy, oh boy, I got to say The King's Speech. Yes! I got to say The King's Speech. Yeah. That was a fun movie. I love Star Wars. All right.

Paul, what do you got? We got to get out of here. Soul Plane! It's been a great... Oh, yes. That's a good one. Great job. Okay, it's back to you already, Jessica. No, it's my turn again, I think.

Oh, okay. I'll promise. I apologize. I apologize. He will okay. I'll promise. I apologize. I apologize. He will break a promise to himself to keep a promise to Mike. But it's a real twist and turn because I actually can't think of any. But just to show that I do have to bow out for real and not just fuck over Mike. I really thought you had one.

I was so excited. Not at all. You couldn't even take a stab with Soul Plane 2? Soul Plane 2. What's the rest of the title? Soul Plane 2, Souls on a Plane. There is no Soul Plane 2,

but I think that title's probably going to go into development. I'm so relieved. I thought there was a Mandela effect happening. I was like, I don't remember a Soul Play 2. Jessica? And they have to be films. They can't be beloved miniseries.

Or concepts. It has to be a film. Or times I think I was at the airport with them. It can't be like a Katy Perry video. It's got to be feature length. Okay, great. Firth, Firth. Snoop, Snoop, Firth, Firth.

Firth, Firth, Firth. Firth, Firth, Firth Firth oh gosh ask the audience oh what do you mean ask the audience you said they had a lifeline yeah

no lifelines wait I thought sing it oh yeah you could sing about it but I don't know what she's talking about she's just saying

Snoop Snoop Firth Firth can you sing about any movie what a relief what wait can I get, can I ask the audience for just an, I mean, there's got to be one more prestige

British drama he was in, right? Oh, for sure. Is there one that you can't, you can picture, but you can't think of the name? No, I can't think of anything at all. But I think as per your rule, if you sing about a movie and Doug can guess what movie you're thinking about,

Oh, interesting. Oh, great. Then you win. You're right. Okay, here we go. Okay, well, great. Hey, can you guys play something upbeat at some point? There we go. Hey, Scott, can you play something different? Sorry, that's really hard to hear what it is.

It's real like... Yeah, the bells were like multi-tonal. Unprecedented. Let me pick a chord in this thing. I mean, no, play it. Fucking play it, play it, fucking play it. Here's a song, here's a song about a movie And you, I guess, the movie when I sing it

I will sing, I will sing, I will sing about this movie. It was good, the gutter part was really scary. And you live up a beer. It's like a marinade for the child meat. Is it? But is it? Is it? But what is it?

Is it? What? It? Yeah. It's like that round of charades where you have to say the name of the thing that you're guessing In that round of charades where you talk

Yeah Paul Your turn Starsky and Hutch Yes Paul, yes Yes, Paul Starsky and Hutch yes oh oh yes yes Paul yes Paul

is that it I think Paul wins we both like sang out our lifelines that revealed we didn't know any more beyond it I know one more

Firth I think I'm pretty sure okay what is it for what it's beyond it. I know one more Firth, I think. Okay, what is it? For What It's Worth. Yeah, For What It's Firth. Tinker, Taylor, Soldier, Spy? Yes, title role.

Title role? Yeah, he was all for it. He was versatile. He had multiple personalities like that. He's the Tinker, the Taylor, the Soldier, and the Spy. Exactly. It was all one man. Paul F. Hopkins is our winner.

Sorry, Ian. Come get this stuff. Where is, where is, who are you playing for? Oh, right here,

right here, right here. Okay. Here you go, dude. Here's your stuff, Mike. Yeah. Here you go, too.

And yeah, that's it. There you go. That's all you get. That's right. Oh, pass me your name tags, you guys. And one more time, where, Off Book, does it have a website? Do you have an offbook.com or something? Off Book, the improvised musical.

You can find everything that Jess and I are up to, including our album release and all of our live shows at thezackandthejess.com. That's Z-A-C-H is how Zach is spelled. Jess is spelled normal. But that's thezackandthejess.com. It has everything that you need. Zach with an H isn't normal? I don't know.

There's just lots of ways to do it. And if I just say it out loud. I think it's neck and neck with the K now. Yeah? Yeah. There's lots of ways to do it. I think it's neck and neck with the K now. Yeah? I've seen the straight up C and then hard stop. I don't like that. Efron.

That's just Efron, right? He's the only ZAC? Oyama? I think. Does it that way? He does. That's true. Up there with Efron. Do you think he's hoping they'll get confused for each other? I think that Does it that way? He does. That's true. Up there with Efron. That's true.

Do you think he's hoping they'll get confused for each other? I think that's his strategy. We have to move on. We have to move on. We gotta go. We gotta go. Apologies to whatever's happening next year. It's another show that I'm in, by the way. Oh, okay.

We're gonna hang out at 11 o'clock. Colonel Redbird improv's happening right here. That won't make any sense for anyone listening to this on the podcast. We have to move on. These guys can hang out. This name tag, though, with the candy canes doesn't have a shithead on the back. We have to move on. These guys can hang out. This name tag, though, with the candy canes doesn't have a shithead on the back. Do you have anyone in mind?

Santa. Okay. Wow, someone's very upset about the choice of Santa. Not now, sir. Just remember, he isn't doing for you. There's no worse person you can think of at this particular point in history.

Sticking with it. You know what sucks? Santa Claus. That guy can fucking eat it. Works one day a year. I'm sorry. Does he work one day a year? Does he work all year long leading up to delivery?

We'll never know. We'll never know. He's dead. His secrets died with him. No Christmas this year. Give all your money to the Yorkies. Hashtag save the Yorkies. Paul F. Tompkins, did you think of any plugs?

Doug, I did. I'm going to be at San Francisco Sketch Fest next month doing a bunch of shows I always do a ton of shows up there I don't think everything's been announced yet but you can go to my website and see the dates at least pauloftompkins.com slash live

listen to Spontaneanation, listen to Freedom and listen to Super Ego yes, do all of that that's my thing Listen to Freedom and listen to Super Ego. Yes, do all of that. That's my thing. That's my thing. That's my thing. Don't get this crowd.

I'll do bird noises with you all night. All right. So I guess that's it. Thank you to Eric and to Scott for playing all the music if all you're concerned is Jessica didn't

get to plug anything yeah I was like did you guys get to plug anything and Jessica said they're all the same no I mean like he said the

Zach and the Jack yeah exactly it's all the same. No, I mean like, he said the Zach and the Jack. You're going to play the, yeah, exactly. It's all the same. We got to move on. We got to go. That's right. We're running late, but this has been so much fun.

Thank you to all of my guests. Thank you to UCB. Thank you to you guys for coming out all year round and for helping me to give a bunch of money to some Yorkies. Thank you, Doug Benson. Oh, thank you. Doug Benson. Yes, Doug. The mayor. Yes, Doug.

We'll see you back here January 15th and have a good holiday season. And as always, Santa is a shithead. And getting fired today is a shithead. But hey, don't worry too much.

I'll bounce back. I always do. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.