Doug Loves Movies - Paul Scheer, Jacob Sirof and Moshe Kasher guest

Episode Date: January 14, 2016

Back at the UCB Theatre in LA, Doug welcomes comics Paul Scheer, Jacob Sirof and Moshe Kasher to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, but Doug Loves Movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies Coming to you once again From the UCB Theater Franklin Avenue location Just not to confuse people

Because I don't want anyone accidentally going to the Sunset one Which we have never done a Doug Loves Movies at I don't know why Somebody in the audience said, thank God I don't know What's your beef with that place? Too clean. Alright, weirdo.

At least you have full shoes on today. Usually you'd say something like that and I'd look down and you're wearing sandals. But I guess this harsh winter has forced you into a tennis shoes and shorts look instead of your typical sandals and a Speedo. It's Wednesday, January 13, 2016.

Let me see your name tags, Los Angeles. Okay, great. Just making sure you brought some. Doug's plugs, Seattle, Sunday. Yeah, that's right. We're coming back to the Neptune Theater at 420-ish. I'm sorry, did I say Sunday? This Saturday.

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday. Sunday, Douglas Movies is back here in Los Angeles over at Meltdown Comics at, you know, also 420. And I'm doing a stand-up show at 420 at the LOL Comedy Club. And I'm doing a stand-up show at 420 at the LOL Comedy Club. It had to happen in San Antonio, Texas on Saturday, January 30th. So bring your name tags to that show and we'll play a game at the end of it.

I've rushed in. This is the first time in forever at a show here at UCB that I've rushed in. I usually get here early and hang out for a little bit and chill. But I just had either a bad Uber driver or I was too high to give the right directions. But whichever one happened, I just raced in.

But I'm excited about the contents of this prize bag tonight because still in its Christmas wrapping from my nice friends at Poke Bowl, there's a round, beautiful Poke Bowl in there. If you don't know what a Poke Bowl is, you have to watch Getting Doug With High on my YouTube channel.

And then I was on at midnight all last week, and every day that I was on, they gave me from Cake Monkey Bakery some delicious sugary delights. And then today, I was very excited to appear on the Malton on Movies podcast. Leonard Malton and I spent a great deal of time discussing this movie right here

that someone brought the Blu-ray by for me to give away tonight of the Bone Tomahawk. Yeah. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a messed up and super awesome movie. Yeah, let's Bone Tomahawk, my man. Let's talk about it. I wouldn't want to do what Chris Hardwick does with Talking Dead,

but with just one movie. Let's do Bone Tomatoc. And then also from At Midnight, they're giving away this fancy water bottle that I don't even... H2Go, I guess it's called? The Force or something? I don't know if it's Star Wars related. I don't even... H2Go, I guess it's called? The Force or something? I don't know if it's Star Wars related.

I don't know what it is. I just want it out of my life. So it's in the prize bag. Along with whatever my guests bring, and we got three very funny dudes here tonight. Please give a big warm welcome to Paul Scheer, Jacob Seeroff, and Moshe Kasher!

Welcome to Paul Scheer, Jacob Searoff, and Moshe Kasher! Hey, fellas! So the standing ovation thing's already worn off. Did you get a standing ovation when you came out? No, here in L.A., but everywhere, I've just been saying on the show, you know, so my guests get super pumped, let's just give them a standing O every time. And it was working for a while, but out on the road it still works. But here in L.A., they're just like, meh, we did that for a couple times. You also have Kevin Hart as your special guest at every out-of-town show.

Right, well, you gotta stand up just to see him. Shots fired, Kevin. Fuck you. Ride along, too, in theaters. I love the idea of the avid

Doug Loves Movie listener, Kevin Hart, in his car, weeping right now, in his Bentley, like, man, Doug. That's my Kevin Hart

impression. Yeah, he loves the show, but the last thing he would ever do is reach out and try to be a guest on it. I just like to guess the names in my car. I don't want to get involved. Was that racist, that voice? No, it sounded exactly like Kevin. It was kind of his enthusiasm. I enjoyed the first ride-along, to be honest with you.

I am a Kevin Hart fan. I am all on board. I saw him live at the Staples Center, and it was a great show. It was good. A legitimately great show. And the UCB goes mild. It's the alternative comedy version of I Have Black Friends. Oh, I liked Ride Along.

Yeah, exactly. But I feel Ride Along 2 is going to push it. I think they're going to. No, it's not. It's not like, oh, these characters can't be stretched. It's like, here, this guy's like, hey, I'm Stern. And he's like, hey, I'm crazy. Done.

It's more. No, I mean, I keep yelling at Kevin Hart. He's great. That's part of the problem. They're on The Bachelor, and they're hilarious. He's going Kevin Hart is great. That's part of the problem. They're on The Bachelor and they're hilarious. He's going to push it good. That's real good. Push it real good.

That's the trouble with Kevin Hart's career, I think, is that I think he's funnier being the guy being yelled at. Yes. But he's playing both sides of the fence. Like in Get Hard, he yells at Will Ferrell a lot. Yeah, but then he huds himself. Maybe not as effective. He does, yeah. Are we talking about the number one highest grossing comedian of last year,

the trouble with his career, Kevin Hart? Here, I'm going to break it down. Here's what's wrong with what he's doing. Well, I have podcasts made there, I said. I agree with what you're saying. I'm seeing it coming. When he is low status, he is funnier. Yeah, I think so. I think that that's not, when he is low status, he is funnier. I think so.

I think that's not a bad thing to say. Like when he came out on the Golden Globes right after Ricky Gervais burned him, that was a great position for him to do his comedy. Because then he was like, no, fuck you, I am small. So you're saying he's more of an Andy than an Amos is what you're saying. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Oh, by the way, guys, ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the first episode of Doug Loves Kevin Hart. This is a whole new format we're working with. Yeah, it's for the new year. We only talk about Kevin Hart. And thank you for coming. Good night. Have you seen the trailer? Let me introduce you guys.

We've been talking forever, and I haven't introduced any of you. I've got an amazing white panel of men who love Kevin Hart, though. That's true. All on board. All on board. We love that Kevin Hart. We want to ride along with Kevin Hart. Let's start with Paul Scheer is back, everybody. Hello, everybody. How are you? Thank you. Great to be back. So many things in your career, but I always like to point out that you're the co-host of How Did This Get Made? Yes, yes. The hilarious, awful movie podcast. Indeed.

We have some good episodes coming up. We just dissected Shaq in the movie called Kazam. Oh, finally. Take that down. And we've been doing this one thing that I really like about the show is that we had this author, Blake Harris, he's been doing these in-depth oral histories

of the actual movies. And people, because these movies suck, people are very open to talk about their awful experiences on it. And the writer of Kazam's like, look, being a writer isn't about making things that are good. It's about being given ingredients and doing the best you can.

So if you're given a chicken, a marshmallow, and chocolate, you're going to have the best version of that. But I'm not going to tell you it's going to be good. And that's Kazam. And I was like, fuck. That's a dire way of looking at being a movie writer, but I guess he's right. How about having an idea that doesn't involve Shaq as

whatever he was at Shazam? He's a genie, I believe. It was about a genie who wants to become a rapper. You should have said he wants to become a real rapper. Because it's always they wants to become a real rapper. It's a, you know,

because it's always they want to be a real boy. What's interesting is Truman Capote wrote a very similar story early in his career. About becoming a real boy. Yeah,

and a rapper. In cold boy. And it said starring a Shaquille O'Neal type. He was a visionary. He's like the Jules Verne. That's right. Of Shaquille O'Neal based films

That's Moshe Kasher everybody Hi Hello Hi Host of the podcast I Love Shaq That's well Also known as the Love Shaq And uh

Tin roof is rusted so don't even go up there Uh what Is going on, Moshe? You were here for our 12 Guests of Christmas. I was. And you're back now. What's happened? What's transpired

in the world of Moshe Kasher in three seconds? It's been crazy. All right. Thank you for being here. Second. Jacob Seroff is here, everybody. for being here.

Second. Jacob Siroff is here, everybody. I've seen him even more recently on this program on the New Year's Eve show in San Francisco. Yeah, last time you booked me with Greg Proofs. Now you booked me

with my other comedy lookalike. Yeah, yeah, you and Moshe Kasher. Play the mirror game. Do it real quick. What's the mirror game? Just look at each other. From My Little Pussy. That's all it takes?

Wait, look at each other? There are little movie. That's all it takes? Wait, look at each other? There are people in the audience doing, I don't know, a weird new age hoodoo bullshit this is, but when you see two Jews with glasses, you don't get to just tell them to do stuff. Jacob started it by saying that you guys looked alike.

That's true. I was just looking for a laugh point to exit that interaction. That's cool. But like with you, you're more, strangely more similar than sitting across from Greg Proops, because Greg Proops is so dapper. What the fuck do you mean?

I'm dapper as fuck. I'm neo-dapper. Man, you guys have a real Ice Cube Kevin Hart relationship going on right here. I'm better in this position, actually. Jacob, what do you have for the prize bag tonight, buddy? Oh, snap. I actually have a bag for the prize bag. Oh, a bag bag?

Because I brought a shitty 7-Eleven bag. I'm a big boxing nerd, and this is a Mayweather Canelo bag that I scored for some press swag. Yeah, big boxing crowd here at the UCB. What do you think about Creed's chances now that he took down the champion? What do you think? Do you think he can keep this up? I mean, you know, what do you think about Creed's chances now that he took down the champion? What do you think? Do you think he can keep this up? I mean, you know, what do you think? Do you think he can retain the title?

Yeah. The fictional boxer of Creed. The fictional linear. Well, he's fictional and dead. Oh, you're talking about the new Creed. Oh, right. I think he's got a good chance at the title in the next movie. Dead Creed is pretty much his career's project.

I bought some stuff in the back, too. This is a book by Tom Robbins and a woman I had a long Twitter affair with that I never actually met. So there's a caption that she wrote me that's pretty romantic. Oh, it's right to you and romantic. Oh, perfect. Put it in the bag. I think Tom Robbins also said writing's not about making stuff that's good. Yeah, I think that was

him that first said that. There's a vintage 1989 Christmas Parade Disney comic book that's 1989. It's right before I was born on my resume. Somebody's doing

some spring cleaning over here. Yeah. Well, I just, that's what I do. This is a crystal and I don't know if you guys know

anything about crystals but if you do, you know, this does absolutely nothing. It's just a rock. It's crystals aren't magic and that shit's not real. And finally,

because I always try to do something Star Wars, I brought a Stormtrooper yo-yo that somebody gave to me and it used to make a really obnoxious laser blast sound whenever you just looked at it and I took the bullet and let my kids wear it out for you, whoever wins it, so it makes no more sound. Check it out, everybody. Finn! No, just kidding.

Well, Doug, actually that's an original Stormtrooper, not a First Order Stormtrooper, so that wouldn't be Finn inside. Check it out, everybody. Virgin. This nerd over here. Oh, my God. Well, that's a great contribution to the bag, to bring a bag to put everything into.

Thank you, Jacob. What'd you bring, Moshe? I brought a DVD copy of the... Have you ever made an episode about this film? We have done, yes. About the Super Mario Brothers vehicle starring a young John Leguizamo, Hollywood legend Dennis Hopper,

and Yoshi, the dinosaur. I will say one of the most disturbing things about that movie is they predicted 9-11 as they shoot the Twin Towers and they disappear from the sky. Whoa. Yeah. Crazy. Islamic fundamentalism is everywhere.

We've got to make America great again. So this is basically an offering for my support of Donald Trump for president. Somebody, one person clap. That's so cool. Even here at UCB. I brought Doug an autographed copy of the first comic book I wrote called Aliens vs. Parker, and I autographed that there. And I also have a baseball card that someone made from Tops. Tops made a baseball card of me, and it's real, and I put that in there, too.

So there is that. Does it have all the typical baseball card info on it? It's got some stats in the back. In 2015, Shear was starring in no fewer than three series. Yeah. Those are Hall of Fame numbers, I think. Yeah, right there. Pretty exciting 2015.

Let's see what 2016 holds. Maybe I'll get another Topps card. I made them put a picture of me on the Topps card holding a picture of my own name because I didn't think anyone would know who I was when me on the Topps card holding a picture of my own name because I didn't think anyone would know who I was when they got their Topps card. I like that you're demurring in humility now after you brought the comic book you wrote

and the baseball card face on your face. Well, he told me. I'm at the fucking bookstore next door buying a $5 DVD. He's like, what selection that is about me? Ah, here's my Oscar. Here you go. They sell this at the bookstore next door buying a $5 DVD, he's like, what selection that is about me? Ah, here's my Oscar. Here you go. They sell this at the bookstore next door?

I thought that was a cool bookstore. Not anymore. Yeah. All right. All right. Well, there you have it. That's all the stuff in the prize bag. What about your bag?

What'd you bring? What? What'd you bring? I say all that before you come out here. Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's really,

it's a lot better than what you brought. What was the last movie you saw, Paul Scheer? I saw Star Wars The Force Awakens in IMAX for the third time. Did you see it in a different format each time? Yes. I won't know. I saw it at El Capitan the first time

with digital projection. Then I saw it in a shitty theater because a friend wanted to see it. Then I saw it in IMAX. And? I thought IMAX was fucking awesome. I thought it was a whole different movie. I already liked it. Then I liked it more the second time. And then IMAX was like, this is great.

I feel like I saw way more of the movie. With this 3D as well? Yeah, I was all in. I wish there was just IMAX I was like this is great I feel like I saw way more of the movie with this 3D as well yeah I was all in I was all in I wish there was just IMAX and no 3D I agree with you

I think that would have been perfectly fine but the IMAX is it's pretty impressive it's good I would recommend it and I saw I'll try it

what theater did you see that in the Universal City Walk man yeah that's the one that's the one that's like one of the best best IMAX theaters I feel like I did two cool theater experiences that being one and the other IMAX theaters. I feel like I did two cool theater experiences.

That being one and the other, I got to see Hateful Eight and 70mm. And I thought that was interesting too with the intermission.

Yeah, that's neat. Yeah, just fun to see something different like that. I like a bathroom break in the middle of a movie. That was cool. And I liked the little interlude up front.

I thought that was cool. The music. The overture. Yeah, that was cool. Made me feel like an old school movie going thing. Yeah, and it was neat Made me feel like an old school movie going thing. Yeah, and it was neat because it kind of gave you the feeling of sitting through the opening credits twice.

Right. And you also felt like you were in the... There's nothing, there's just music over the opening credits. It's cool that you felt like you were in the 50s not only from the music and stuff, but also how many times the white people said the N word. It felt like a real genuine experience. Yeah, there's a lot of N tossing in that. A lot of N tossing. In that. A lot of N-tossing.

In that one. Almost as much as Shazam, the movie about that. I did a live read where Jason Reitman does these live reads of old scripts, and he did True Romance, and he got Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette to reprise their roles, and we were reading True Romance, which

Quentin Tarantino wrote, and the N-word in that was way more prevalent than I remembered. So much so that everyone in the cast just stopped saying it. What did they say? They took it out, because it was not crucial to any of the dialogue. So there's a lot of, shut up, you dumb.

Yeah. Dumb what? But that is weird that there's a lot of N-words in there, because I'm rifling through the cast list in my head and they're all white. Yeah. Not a romance. Not a single.

Who's the black person in True Romance? Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman is the only black person in True Romance. So that's really weird that they use the N-word a lot. And sometimes in stage direction. Like that, I'm being, like, there were moments that they use the N-word a lot. And sometimes in stage direction. Like that, I'm being, there were moments I was like,

you don't need it in stage direction. Man, this whole line of dialogue would be so much more fun if we could say the word we're talking about. Or if there was an actual black person in the room, that might make it a little less tense for everybody, I think. That would make it less tense? Yeah, I think so. I think we're in pretty safe company.

Let's let it fly. N-word. So, what was the last movie you saw, Jacob? I was also The Force Awakens at Universal and IMAX. That was number six for me. Number six. Look at him go. I've seen some...

I think I've done all the... I did 2D digital. I did 35mm at the Vista, per JJ's request that they show it in 35mm do you have the remote controlled BB-8 yet

no I don't it's amazing I have that there's two of them the Sphero one you do it with your phone and you make it tool around

and it's like a Roomba that doesn't clean anything no yeah it's a Roomba that solves plot problems there's actually a great article online solves plot problems. There's actually a great article online. Now you can search all the spoilers, and

you can read the... Someone wrote a very detailed synopsis of the original shooting script versus what actually came out, and it's very interesting to see all the reshoots that they did. If you watch it after knowing that, it's like, oh yeah, that's all reshoots. That's all reshoots.

Yeah, and also there's clearly stuff missing because there's like, there's action figures that don't show up in the movie. Yeah.

And there's also a bunch of lines of dialogue and scenes in the trailers. Let's get into spoilers. You know, early on, they want you to think Poe is dead.

Right. And then he shows up again, but there's never a reasonable explanation of what happened. He apparently had a whole plot line of where he was

alone on Jakku doing his thing. Yeah. And they're like, cut it. Yeah. They cut a lot of stuff. A lot of it's in the novelization, too.

Oh, that's cool. Is it canon? I believe it is. Anything under Disney is canon. I think I just, I'm growing a hymen right now. What was the last film you saw, Moshe?

I saw a real man's film. It was a film called Brooklyn. Oh, yeah. That's a tough one. I'm all talking shit. I'm like, I saw a dainty little almost interesting movie called Brooklyn. It's very similar to today's Brooklyn. It's just about basically white people moving into Brooklyn and changing the face of the neighborhood. So it's very similar to today's Brooklyn. It's just about basically white people moving into Brooklyn

and changing the face of the neighborhood. So it's very similar to what's happening in Brooklyn now. I thought that would be a huge laugh point. All of us are so not in Brooklyn right now. That's so true. We can't relate to Brooklyn. Everyone here worked on Brooklyn.

Fuck you. That was two months of my life. I was a goddamn grip on Brooklyn, you piece of shit. You better not say anything about Carol, motherfucker. That's Kevin Hart running in from the Bentley. Carol is a beautiful looking movie and interesting. And then Brooklyn and there's a few. Danish Girl. I did few. Danish Girl. I did not like Danish Girl.

But there's a handful of movies that the performances are terrific. 100%. But the movie's not that engaging. So then they end up getting those nominations but the movie doesn't. Well, let me ask. This is a good question

because I saw the movie Spotlight, right? Uh-huh. I'm not a huge fan of Spotlight. I think the acting is great, but I thought, yeah. Yeah, right. No, it's arousing, and that's a little bit disconcerting. Yeah, yeah, you don't want that. You don't want to be aroused by it at all.

It's like, mamma mia. Why are these priests being villainized? Why did they make such a sexy movie about this subject? No, but I thought the story was really interesting. I don't know. I think I'm totally alone on that. I liked it.

I loved it. I liked it a lot, but I think it's tremendous actors at the top of their game playing parts that are like, the characters aren't that,

the actors make characters. The script didn't. Right. The script doesn't delineate between their personalities very much. It's their performances and what they bring to it.

I may need to watch it without my mom on Christmas Eve going, who's that? Oh, that's the Hulk. Oh, is that Batman? Oh, is this the Birdman movie? Oh, that's Walter. Do you remember? That's Birdman.

So yeah, I think maybe I need to watch it not under those circumstances. Yeah, try it again when that's not happening. It might be a better movie. Yeah, I've said it a few times and everyone. Yeah, try it again when that's not happening. It might be a better movie. Yeah, I've said it a few times, and everyone's like, no, I love that movie. So I feel like I need to watch it again. I had a weird watching experience, too, because I actually watched it on IMAX at Universal Studios. Oh, wow. How is it looking in 3D?

Really, even more character-y. You can really see Mark Ruffble's thumbs through his belt buckle it just feels like the Hollywood Foreign Press and the Golden Globes they tend those movies tend to go the awards tend to go

to movies where English not being your first language isn't going to impede your enjoyment of the film you know like it's like kind of like it's just

they're bigger in nature and they tell stories that are more visual and you know and more it's more about like like they give awards to movie stars like who doesn't They're bigger in nature, and they tell stories that are more visual. It's more about they give awards to movie stars. Who doesn't love Jennifer Lawrence? Sure. But best comedic performance of the year?

Joy? It's not comedic at all. Not at all. The Martian was even more of it. That was so insane. Well, The Martian is a funnier movie than Joy, if we're going to argue, if we're going to nitpick. But they're both not comedy. I mean, yeah, basically, it's like if the movie has a laugh in it, it is automatically in the comedy category.

It's like, that's about it. But like, how can Jamie, I mean, how can Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Schumer, who I call Jamie. Yeah, sure. Jamie Schumans. How can the two of them look each other in the eye and be not like, I'm the one that should have won that. Yeah, it's ridiculous. I'm the one that was hilarious and you were a good actress in a movie about a lady who invented a mop.

But they always do that. But they always will do that. Zach Galifianakis, I think, was up for hangover against, again, it would be against Matt Damon. They always put the one that's going to win it and then they give one token one. Right, well there like again, it would be like against Matt Damon. Like it's just like, it was, they always put like the one that's going to win it. And then they give like one token one. Right.

Well, there's also, it's just like, it just feels like every category for the most part, they're a little tricky here and there, but for the most part, it goes to like the most famous person in the category. Yeah.

So that's why like Lady Gaga, first time she tries acting on TV, all of her co-stars who were brilliant from what I hear on that show, just as good or better than her, none of them got nominated. And then she wins the category over everybody and then gets up there and gives a speech like she's like Tony Soprano's wife.

She's very Italian all of a sudden. I work next door. I guess she's Italian. I work next door to American Horror Story and this is the only thing I know about it because I mean, I guess she's Italian, but. I work next door to American Horror Story, and this is the only thing I know about it because I do not watch the show, that there are three Rolls Royces out in front

that are not used in the show. They're just for three people on the show. And I don't know who is driving around in three Rolls Royces. I wonder who it is. And I think two of them are for Lady Gaga. Makes sense. Like one for her and one for her dog.

Yeah, like one where she's like, maybe today I'll get in the one that's black and one I'll get in them are for Lady Gaga. Makes sense. Like, one for her and one for her dog. Yeah, like one where she's like, maybe today I'll get in the one that's black and one I'll get in the day that's white. No, she's actually a lot taller than you think, and she uses them as roller skates. That's how rich she is. Isn't Floyd Mayweather on that show? Is he?

Come on, no. Jesus Christ. What's the joke? What's the joke? He likes fancy cars, and I brought a Floyd Mayweather piece of swag. Jesus Christ. They're simple callbacks, guys.

I thought there was some other boxer on the show. I don't know. It's also a ludicrous idea that he would be on that show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Let's bring it into your wheelhouse, Jacob, because I know that you're a big fan of Star Wars, possibly the biggest fan of Star Wars in this room.

The biggest fan of George Lucas in the room, probably. Well, that's, yeah, you're definitely that. No, the text that I received from Jacob, by the way, on the day The Force Awakens came out were like, I don't know if I'm going to be okay today. No, no, no. I'm not having an okay day. That's not what I meant.

I'm not into other people's enjoyment. It feels like they're blowing up my spot. I was like, your spot? This is the most successful franchise in film. That's taken way out of context. Also, he said no one likes Star Wars but me. That I said. Also, he said, where's Floyd Mayweather?

I need to make more jokes about him. I feel like he's underrepresented on the show. Sorry. As far as I know, Jacob is one of the few people that I'm friendly with. It's kind of like you're one of my

Republican friends, but in the case of Star Wars, you're one of my friends that loves the prequels and doesn't have a problem with them. No. Wow.

Across the board, no problem. Not one problem. He doesn't have one problem with them. Wow, across the board, no problem. Not one problem. He doesn't have one problem with them. If I can quote, it's not like that for me. That's right. That's right.

He's past having problems. It's loyalty. And I don't know if this has been covered in other episodes, and I apologize if it has been, but can you just quickly rank the... Dude, that's exactly what I've written down. That's exactly what I wanted to ask. Oh, she can answer that for me.

Yes, it's not like that for me. I don't rank. Oh, you won't do it. I don't rank the six movies. I'll say this. All those, then Force Awakens. Force Awakens. Whoa, wait.

Is your least favorite Star Wars movie? Well, it's not the same thing as the Star Wars movies. It's fan fiction. So it's called a fundamentalist, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, I'm a Star Wars fundamentalist. It's not the same. This is something different. It is.

Well, you can't just like... It is the same. Let's say Pablo Picasso painted a bunch of paintings at one point in his career that people deemed not as good as his early stuff. So then he sold his name. A new guy painted a bunch of paintings that were more like the originals

and everyone decided the world just agreed these were now official Picasso paintings. No. You can't do that. Star Wars is the singular vision of one artist. Let me finish. Mom! Mom! It's the singular vision of one artist. Can I dispute this? So you can't sell that.

I can dispute this so quickly. George Lucas hates Irving Kirshner and would not have made half of the decisions that Irving Kershner made. That's not true. Yes, it is. It's his professor from USC who he was handpicked to direct the film.

Who he hated, and he hated the choices that he made. He made every frame of film you see in all six of those movies George Lucas wants you to see. George Lucas at one point thought about taking The Force out of the screenplay of the original Star Wars. He second-guessed himself on The Force.

He gave us six pretty good movies. I want the podcast listeners. If you look at the annotated script pages of Empire Strikes Back, which Irving Kirshner rewrote and did all that stuff, it's like, that's not George Lucas. Well, George Lucas didn't write Empire Strikes Back. Then there it is. He's seen it three times.

And he doesn't think it belongs. He's seen it three times. And he doesn't think it belongs. You've seen it three times? Six times. So how do you go like this? I apologize. You're more of an asshole than I thought. You've seen it six times, and you're saying it doesn't belong. No, I love it.

I love it the way I like it. It's like Star Tours the movie for me. No. It's a fun Star Wars experience. This is your fun. It's a Star Wars nerd. You're fun in that football. It's a Star Tours the movie for me. It's a fun Star Wars experience. This is your fundamental flaw. Your fundamental flaw. And what I enjoy? I'm fundamentally flawed in my opinion?

Let me say it. Let me just say what it is. We'll be back with more of yelling about Star Wars. Tell me when I can go into my one fundamental flaw. I'm going to be on the road doing stand-up dates throughout the months of January. Just, I want to get that in there. It'll take me two seconds to just...

Here's what I think. You just said Picasso. If you sold Picasso's name and someone else painted Picasso, then that wouldn't be Picasso, right? I totally get that. So, the second movie, he didn't write, he didn't direct. Isn't that the same thing? No, it's not, because he I totally get that. So the second movie he didn't write he didn't direct. Isn't that the same thing? No, it's not because

he's still at the top of the pyramid. He didn't answer to the studio he didn't answer to exhibitors. He still got to say in the next one we should have Ewoks. And let's rubber stamp Christmas special.

No, because it's like So Christmas special is where's Christmas special fall? Christmas special is a mistake. It's funny. It's funny. It's a mistake? But he's at the top.

No, it's not. It's like that was all him. He's top of the pyramid. Wait, it's not those six movies. I've seen the whole Clone Wars series. That's also canon. I'm into that. It's not the same.

How about Rebels? Well, that's not Lucas, but it's fun. Is Christmas special a bigger mistake than bringing... I like the show. I like all things Star Wars. I don't dislike this new movie because it's not Lucas. As a Star Wars nerd, there's a few ways to have a Star Wars experience.

Read a novel, a comic book, ride a ride, play a video game. So this is the biggest, best version of that as is everything post-Lucas. But I still think that...

For me. I still think that you can't say that... It would cheapen my... I know we just met, but I'm so... Star Wars is the closest thing to a religion I have. So if I would just

transfer that blindly because of a business sale, that would cheapen my loyalty to it, wouldn't it? Well, if you still like it six times stronger. By the way, the guy who's cheering right now has been texting the entire show until you started saying this stuff. He put down both of his cellular phones, literally both of them, to pay attention to you and begin to applaud at your points. He's got two phones. One of his phones

is a coaster for a beverage. It's a cookie, actually. Okay, by the way, I want to say, I don't know what a phone is. I've never seen Star Wars. I don't know what a movie is. I'm not even here right now. This is my ayahuasca trip. Is that a patiki?

It's a cookie phone Wasn't it more fun when it was a phone And he was a big asshole though Instead he was a guy playing on his phone While eating a cookie Which is perfectly normal It'd be cool if there was no phone He was just texting on a cookie this whole time

I'm not gonna see I'd ID but I have one more question to ask of you. Are the remastered versions better than the original versions? I want to see where you stand on that. No, I don't think

they're better than, but I... But they are made by the guy at the top. Yeah, except them, though. I don't have a problem with them at all. And I think that a lot

of the stuff does enhance the movie. But it doesn't matter if I agree with it because I'm loyal to that guy's brain and his vision. So it's not... The way I look at it, you don't meet Christians that are like, I love the Bible, because I'm loyal to that guy's brain and his vision. So the way I look at it, you don't meet Christians that are like, I love the Bible, but I could do without the book of Matthew.

It's not my place to accept and interpret, as is all of you if you were good followers. But some people, you would say people of the Jewish faith are like, hey. Uh-uh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, buddy. Easy. Old Testament's great. Old Testament's great, but I don't believe

in that New Testament, right? What's going on there? The first one's true. The second one is a bed of lies. It's still by the same guy. It's still by the same guy. That's not true. He just handed it over to Ernie Kirshner.

J.J. Abrams is the New Testament. Let's start the games right now before I go off on a motherfucker. All right, Jacob doesn't want to do it, but I'm going to rank all the Star Wars movies. Here we go. I'll do it just to piss people off. One, two, three, four, five, six.

And no seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, no seven. Then Star Tours, then seven. I'll tell you this, though. Qui-Gon Jinn, best character in any Star Wars movie. Oh, no. Best character in any Star Wars movie. Oh, my God, you're murdering me.

It's hard, isn't it? He's so boring. But you know what, though? Oh, you're so wrong. When they grabbed Qui-Gon Jinn's personality. Oh, here's what you should do. I've got a special set of skills. What is Qui-Gon Jinn's personality. Oh, here's what you should do. I've got a special set of skills. What is Qui-Gon Jinn's personality?

What is his, like, how would you describe him? Well, he's the perfect Jedi. He's everything I want a Jedi to be. He's wise and he's knowledgeable, but he's also like a rebel who's kind of like defying the council. He's like, he doesn't play by the rules, but he knows what's right. I've got to say, he's killing it on this challenge you just laid down, Paul.

Paul's like, I'll get him now. Jacob's like, no, you won't. Well, I've been doing this for 16 you just laid down, Paul. He's the whole compass for the whole series. Paul's like, I'll get him now. Jacob's like, no you won't. Well, I've been doing this for 16 and a half years, nonstop. It is true. We started comedy together. He's been defending the prequels the whole time. It's not some contrarian opinion I've developed because of the movie. Tireless in his defense of the prequels.

I love it. There's no getting around it. It's my favorite thing I've ever heard in my life. One day I'm going to show people my Jar Jar tattoo and the world's going to explode. Where is it? I don't have it yet. Oh, I'm going to get it someday.

This, this, this, this, this fuels me. I'm going to get it. I'm going to, plus I just,

I like, Misa wanna tattoo right here. Solid, solid impression. Misa wanna swastika on my cassa. I heard the best way. Here's my ranking, Paul,

real quick. Yeah. Five, seven, four, 6, 3, 2, 1 End of story Ooh nice Wait I Okay

I'm surprised you put One last Return of the Jedi And then the three prequels Phantom Menace is worse than Wait A lot of people hate The time it was born

No no His last four Are Return of the Jedi Prequels Yeah Phantom Menace was more hateable Just because of that little kid Yeah Yeah that little kid.

Yeah, that little kid's terrible. Jake Lloyd. He's a mess. He's going to be in season two of Making of a Murderer. Yeah. It's going to be about Jacob being in cahoots with him killing some prequel character. I'm not the hater.

I'm the lover. Somebody described the best way to show your family. If someone's never seen Star Wars, you should show them four, five, then one, two, three, and then six, and then seven. That's your theory? I thought that was a good one. Ease them out with Jedi? You kind of go like, here's one, two,

and go, oh, Darth Vader looks dead. Let's go back and see how that happened. And then you watch it backwards, and then you run into the end. All right. I thought that was an interesting way of viewing that. I mean, I think putting them in any order, especially just not watching the one, two,

and three all together, can be interesting. And I think the whole universe is going to grow. And you like Marvel movies, too, and three all together. I think three is good. And I think the whole universe is going to grow. And you like Marvel movies too, Jacob. I do like them. And there are varying qualities, we can all agree. It's not like that for me. No, it is for the new Star Wars.

Not for me. For you? All Marvel movies. It took me three times to see Phantom Menace before I could understand that it was bad. But see, that shouldn't happen. If you liked it at first, why would you like it? No, I didn't. I was like,

oh, this didn't make... Okay, you know what? I was so excited, I didn't enjoy it. And then I went back, and I was like, huh. You know what? I think I'm just getting used to it. It is true. And then the third time, I was like, oh, I just don't like this movie. It's more like any other films. It's ones where you really try and go back

and try to like it. You know, like you want to. I always said the three disappointments of my adult life were the Star Wars prequels, New Year's Eve 2000,

and the first term of Obama's presidency. Those are the three things I had big expectations for. It was just like, oh, it's just a regular thing. He's going to close Guantanamo, man.

He's going to get it done right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be like, all right, all right, Obama, you win. Well, that was the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Gentlemen, some people in the audience here have fashioned some name tags. Jacob, of course, will be looking for something Star Wars.

And go ahead and pick who you'd like to play for. Go physically grab a name tag. Look at all these prequel signs. While you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Loot Crate. Would you classify yourself as a geek,

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I just didn't want to hold up the show. All right, well, we're back, and Jacob's not thrilled with his choice. I finished his cookie, so I was actually going to take the cookie, and I looked over, and he was eating the other half. I'm in. So who are you playing for, Jacob? I'm playing for Dude, Where's My Carly? Dude, Where's My Carly? Good job, Carly.

I don't know the poster well enough from the original poster, but to know. Pretty similar. It looks like it's. I think that movie is funny, Dude, Where's My Car? Am I wrong in that? Yeah, I feel like I thought it was funny when I saw it. I only saw it once, but. Yeah.

An underrated gem. An S-W-S-A-K. I don't know. Try it again someday and you'll. Yeah, not. I don't think you'll change your opinion. Okay.-K. I don't know. Try it again someday and you'll... Yeah, it doesn't hold up. I don't think you'll change your opinion. Okay. I think.

I could be wrong. I think I went in with a gutter low expectation. Like, I don't think they ever... Do they ever smoke pot? Or is it just like they're dumb? They're just dumb. Like, which drives me crazy. But that's like Bill and Ted.

If you're going to lose your car, you should at least get high. But Bill and Ted are like super dumb too. Right? They never get high. Yeah, they don't get high either. They just act like stoners you should at least get high. But Bill and Ted are super dumb, too. Right? They never get high. Yeah, they don't get high, either. They just act like stoners, but don't actually get high. Like, Spicoli, you only see him fall out of a van full of smoke. And he talks about being high, but I don't think you see him smoke that much.

Yeah, I don't think so. It's weird. It wasn't until Dr. Dre legalized weed that people were so open. Man, everybody who's not Dr. Dre and Ice Cube in that NWA movie gets kind of a real... I thought that movie made me laugh so hard because clearly they were producers. They're like, yeah, Eazy-E's an asshole.

We're the best. I was sympathetic to Eazy-E, though, more so than I had been in real life because knowing that NWA was having problems, like Ice Cube and, you know, they emerged as like the stars,

so like you kind of just assume, well, they're the ones that weren't the problem or whatever. If EZ had produced the movie, it would have just been two hours of Dr. Dre

beating up women, I think. It would have been a more accurate movie. That's conspicuously out of the box. That's conspicuously honest. That's why he calls them beats. Are you saying Drake?

That was just the tag I was looking for. Who are you playing for, Moshe? I'm playing for the Life Cinematic with Eddie and Doug. Instead of Life Aquatic. That's a beautiful poster there. Yeah beautiful it's nice really nice poster there yeah it's nice good job Eddie Eddie

it's Eddie okay and Paul I am playing for Jake Burton who gave me or has a pop Funko

Jack Burton figure yeah Jack Burton is of course Kurt Russell in Big Trouble Little China yes and he reprised his role in Hateful Eight,

which is really cool. And on a... In a movie... In a Douglas Movies episode recently, I was talking to... Jeff Tate loves those pop vinyl things for some reason. I mean, they're cute. I like them. But he was... I said, well,

you know, are they just fictional characters? And he wasn't sure, so I yelled at him for a while. And it turns out at least one non-fictional character, Conan O'Brien has one. Oh, wow. So they're not just fictional characters, but they're from pulp culture. Who else?

I think there was a Comic-Con exclusive. Oh, there's a Comic-Con exclusive, says the guy sitting here by himself. That's very Comic-Con-y. himself. That's very Comic-Con-y. We know it's a fact because he's by himself. If he was with friends, he's probably just showing off. What do you know about

Comic-Con, friend guy? But thank you for that. Yeah, that makes sense. Because I guess they're mostly characters from movies and they're like... I'm sure there's a George R.R. Martin one. They're like elusive. Are you giving Paul that? No, I'll give it back to you.

You're going to get it back? Yeah. Yeah, you want it back. That's what I thought. Just a temporary situation with Paul. I thought it was one of those things where people give a cupcake and then you eat it. Can I eat this? You should eat it before giving it back to him.

What about this piece of cardboard with block letters on it? Can I keep this? You should eat it before giving it back to him. What about this piece of cardboard with block letters on it? Can I keep that? Can I take that home, Eddie? Thanks for stepping to the plate. I don't know. Are you mad you don't have a pop vinyl? Now I am.

I didn't know how cool they were. I wish we all got pop vinyls. Listen up, pop vinyl. Yeah, well that's why Jeff Tate keeps talking about them on the show, because he wants them to send them. He wants free ones. Okay, hopefully that'll work.

Let's play a round of How Much Did This Shit Make? inspired by, you know, How Did This Get Made? Sure. Yeah, your show. And we're going to go down the line, and we'll start with you, Paul. And you just have to guess, Price is Right style, how much money a movie made at the domestic box office, according to boxofficemojo.com. Love it.

And the film we're going to talk about today is one of my favorite awful movies that I'm assuming you've covered on How Did This Get Made. Okay. It's called Mac and Me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Definitely. That's called Mac and Me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Definitely. That's probably a hilarious episode of the show.

Amazing episode. Adam Pally did the Mac and Me episode. Oh, he's hilarious. It's a good one. All right. So Mac and Me, I'm going to say 15 million. Okay. Paul Scheer thinks it made 15 million, Moshe.

Dollars, yes. Oh, he cheated, but that's what I was going to say. Oh, you were telling him to say a dollar? I was actually going to do that anyway, though. It's a fun thing to do. I'll say a dollar. Yeah, it's fun. And then Jacob's really in the catbird seat here.

Because you could say two dollars. Anything in the middle but the trick is to not go over and yeah Paul said 15 but we don't know I think it's wrong

but I'm yeah we don't know he thinks he's wrong I'm gonna my instinct is lower so I'm gonna go with 12 million 12 million

which is the same yeah go ahead well actually you could have just done two it's the same as doing 12 right I know but thank you for not doing

but I wanted to show off if I was right, and then I could act like I was wrong. I'm going to go on record now and say my gut is seven, but I'm keeping my 15. All right, well, you're all just continuously blowing it. But of course, Moshe is our winner, because it made a mere $6.4 million. Yeah, it did not do very well, strangely enough,

that weird advertisement for McDonald's that was a ripoff of E.T. Yeah, very strange movie. If you get a chance to watch it, I recommend touching your dick to the screen because for some reason the little alien character always looks like he's blowing somebody. Let's play Last Man Stanton.

New wrinkle on this game, you guys. We're going to get the name of an actor or actress from the world of cinema, and we're going to take turns naming movies. I play along on this one. Take turns naming movies that they were in. If you can't take it one, you're out. But the new wrinkle is

Carly and Eddie and Jack Burton are your lifelines. And so if you can't think of one, you can turn to them. And hopefully they can help you out. So far in the history of having lifelines, they

always work. So hopefully that'll keep you in the game for one more round. How many times can you turn to him? Just the one time. Oh, man. Yeah. Multiple lifelines would be called lifelines and not lifeline. Alright, I get how

plurals work, so let's play the game. Is there a person in the audience that goes by the Twitter handle VV239? VIVI239? V-I-V-I 239? Viv.

Are you here? Is that you? No? Nobody? Somebody tweeted me with that name today going they had the perfect name for Last Man Stanton. And they're just like, good luck with that shit. Oh, I'm not coming. I'm not a fan of the show. I just wanted you to know.

That was Kevin Hart. Goodbye, Vivi. It's me, Kevin Hart. That's the perfect name. We have to go with someone else. Since I burned him unfairly earlier, we have to go to the loneliest man on Earth. Comic-Con exclusive. I'm sorry 2016's been so bad for you so far.

People are like, we just got this guy's sympathy, pussy. Guys, don't feel bad for him. He's getting laid. Nobody gets any kind of pussy coming in or out of this place. Well, the guy who saw episode 2 21 times has pussy locked down for tonight, so...

That's me, by the way. I don't know if you guys... What do you think? Who's the name we should use for this game? What's your name, first of all? Eric. Eric, okay. I've got to give you proper credit, Eric.

Eric the Lonely Guy. Eric is proper credit? Just the first name? That's how they do things? I'm just saying, you know, he gets to hear his own name on the podcast. Eric. That's got to be worth a few.

A few friends that you could have made. That's not where I was headed. I was thinking more like he jerks off to a butt. What name do you have for us, Eric? Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi Goldberg. I fucking love it. I love it.

Goddamn Whoopi Goldberg. Whoopi Goldberg. That is genius, Eric. You're a lot of friends in my book. Do Sammy Davis Jr. movies count towards Whoopi Goldberg? No. Does that make any sense what you just said? The other black Jew. I want to write down.

I always want to write down in this game my answers as they come in. You want to do what? I want to write. I feel like we should have a notepad so we can be able to jot them. Well, I write down all of them, so I'll show it to you if you need a visual reference. But also, if you say one that's been said before, we're usually pretty loose about getting you to go again. Movies only, right? It's harder to remember, for sure.

That's why I don't have a lifeline, because it's easier for me, because I'm writing them I'm writing them all down but who won that last game that we just played? me, Moshe are you saying that just to say it? no I did, I won don't bully me like that guy, I've got friends here's one right here yeah he is your friend because he could have just bet $2

and just kicked your ass all over the place okay Jacob's thinking about it is that clear that I could have just been two dollars and just kicked your ass all over the place. Jacob's thinking about it. Is that clear that I could have done that? Yeah, pretty clear. Most show will start and then we'll go to Jacob and then me and then Paul. We'll go around like that and just

name it Whoopi Goldberg movies. Let's go nuts. Start us off. Sister Act. You can't argue with Sister Act. That's a movie that has Whoopi Goldberg movies. I'll do the most obvious one. Start us off. Sister Act. Yeah. You can't argue with Sister Act. That's a movie that has Whoopi Goldberg in it. I'll go the one that my mother took me to in the theaters as a kid, Jumpin' Jack Flash. Okay.

Yeah, that was pretty good. The Mick Jagger vehicle. Yeah. That was like her second movie, I think. Let's just go back to the beginning and say The Color Purple. Great. Sister Act 2.

Very good. Full title, though, right? Oh! Back in the Habit. Okay, good. Well done, well done, well done. I was going to say... I was going to give you a chance to take it back.

Very good. Made in America? Wait, which way are we going? Oh, is it not my... Okay, okay, sorry. Made in America. Wait, which way are we going? Oh, is it not my turn? Okay, okay, sorry. Made in America. Uh-huh, with Will Smith? And Ted Danson.

I met Will Smith on the set there because it filmed in Oakland and I was in junior high and I was so excited. And then I found drugs and I was more excited. Yeah, they went the wrong way on the Bay Bridge in that movie.

Is that right? Yeah, and that's where she started fucking Ted Danson before he did Blackface and she was forced to break up with him by a publicist. Wow. There's a lot of information in that movie. Is that right? Yeah, and that's where she started fucking Ted Danson before he did Blackface and she was forced to break up with him by a publicist. Wow. There's a lot of information

in that sentence, Jacob. Don't shoot the messenger, guys. What do you got? I'm not even 100% she was in it, but I'm not going to... Oh, don't do that. Don't do that to yourself. Star Trek Generations.

She was definitely in it. Star Trek Generations. Okay, yeah, she was in that. They had to visit the Star Trek Generations. She was definitely in. Star Trek Generations. She was in that. They had to visit the bar at some point. Get a little of her advice. I think she has a long scene with Patrick Stewart. She does indeed. Yeah, they really talk it out.

Fucking boring Star Trek style. I mean, that's why I embraced Star Wars from jump, is there were no boring scenes. And then, after three of those, they decided, you know what, let's try some boring scenes, see how that works. And that's why I don't like the prequels, is there's too many boring parts.

Sorry, Jacob. I've fully come to grips with the fact that most of the planet doesn't like the prequels. It's not news at this point. I've heard they don't like it on other planets. Jack Who's like, why'd it take so long to feature us? All right, what are we going to book? I'll go with co-starring my friend Bobcat Goldthwait, Burglar. Oh, you took my good one.

Oh, that was your good one? Yeah, I thought that was Give us a bad one. Theodore Rex. That is a bad one. Ghost. Yeah, of course. Academy Award winner.

Lion King. The Lion King. The Lion King, sure. I'll say this because I said it last night when we were playing Robert Downey Jr. Soap dish.

Oh, you've taken all my ones. You've taken your good ones. All right. Give me a second. Yeah, whoopee. Holy shit. Whoopee, whoopee, whoopee. Whoopee.

Whoopee, whoopee, whoopee. So many of them. So many classic whoopee. There's so many great. You just picture her walking in to be like, Hey, y'all! What? That's her response to everything. Top ten?

What? Is she in top ten? Yeah, she's in top ten. Wait, wait, wait. No. What? Rephrase. Oh. Wait. Wait. Wait. I think I just won the next round. What? Rephrase. Oh. Wait. Wait. Wait. I think I just won the next round. I'm excited about this. Yeah, yeah.

You can pick it up if you can't think of it. Wait, wait. Wait. I have to rephrase it. You said it wrong. Oh. Don't go to the audience. Well, I'm going to go to my lifeline.

Oh, you are? I wouldn't use your lifeline for this. You were so close. I rephrased the title or I just said I think she's in this. You just said it wrong. Okay. What's the movie called? Well, hold on, hold on. Oh, wait.

Jacob's coming for revenge about the prequels. Do you want to use your lifeline? Fuck, I guess I will. Oh, maybe he doesn't. I don't know it, but I have another one. He's got another one. That'll work. The Little Rascals. The Little Rascals.

Okay. All right, so Moshe, I think, is going to pounce on that. Top five. Top five. So you could just guess wrong and get another. It's a movie about the top ten favorite comedians. You're right. I should have thrown him out on that.

All right, sorry. It would be a much longer movie if it was about the top ten best rappers. Yeah, five really keeps it tight. Five, I would never get that. All right, sorry. It would be a much longer movie if it was about the top ten best rappers. Yeah, five really keeps it tight. Five, I would never top five. I lost once for not knowing the whole title of Speed 2,

which I think is Speed 2, the one with Jason Patrick, I think is what the official title is. Paul knew it. He knew it, but... Do you have another whoopee? Is it...

Oh, Moshe just did that. Yeah, I'm going to go with, and I'm, again, crossing my fingers, let's go with Star Trek First Contact. Is she in it? No. Anybody? No. I don't think so. Yeah, I'm going to go with, and again, I'm crossing my fingers, let's go with Star Trek First Contact. Is she in it? No.

Anybody? No. I don't think so. You know for sure she's not? I don't think so. Can I just rephrase it as another movie that doesn't have

Star Trek in the work? Okay. No, I probably can't do that either. Yeah, because you can't think of another one? Yeah, it's a tough one. Yeah, it is tough.

Did Burglar. I'm just getting started. Do you got a bunch? Do you really have a bunch? Oh, hell yeah. Really? He's bluffing. Yep, Eddie.

Start thinking, motherfucker. Can I go to my lifeline after fucking that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You still got your lifeline. I'll use it. Let's go to lifeline. Even though I feel like I should be eliminated. You got one, Carly?

Carly. She's right here. Dude's right here. Where's my Carly? No, she's in Boomerang. Are you saying Boomerang question mark? That's Eddie Murphy.

Yeah, they look alike. That's rough. So I guess it's not because my lifeline failed me. No to Boomerang. Wait, do you know all the movies

she's been in, Doug? How do you know? Who's fact checking this? IMDb. There's a whole audience full of people that would go, hey, she was in Boomerang. She was in that scene

where Eddie was like, ugh. You're right. So when you put the S on the end of a word, it means more than one? You're right. You're right.

Paul. Wait, so you guys don't like the prequels? Huh? You go. Where are we? It's my turn? Yeah.

Okay, Clara's Heart. That's, oh, fuck, man. Burglar, Clara's Heart, Jumpin' Jack Flash. I was like, and no one will get those. Oh, man. All right, Whoopi Goldberg. I'm thinking recent. Did she do much recently?

No. The view of the motion picture. Yeah, you just got to try to picture a different. I mean, I would just say Whoopi Goldberg live on Broadway as a feature-length film. That doesn't count. But if you haven't seen that, by the way, you should, because it explains Whoopi Goldberg.

Like, why she's had such a great career. She's so good. It's so good. I mean, I'm a genuine, true fan of Whoopi Goldberg live on Broadway. You know, Steven Spielberg made her perform that privately at his house. Whoa.

Yeah. Whoa. For, like, Quincy Jones. And she was like, if you put your pants on. Well, she had a character that they said, you can't do black ET. And then she did black ET. And then they're like, oh, we love you. And then she told this story on Howard Stern.

And then she got in color purple. Yeah. No, Whoopi Goldberg, Lava Broadway. She's very talented and seems like a very nice woman. Now she's on a show where opinions come out too much. You're out? I'm out. Whoopi Goldberg live on Broadway does not count.

She's still like, Bill Cosby? I don't know. I don't know. He never raped me. It's like, okay. If you say so. Have you ever had a really nice, sound sleep? You ever wake up one morning really refreshed?

I like that way of looking at the world. If it didn't happen to you, I have no proof. I don't know. He was nice when I met him. I decide who's guilty based on how much I like them. Like Mike Tyson's

not guilty. Kobe Bryant's guilty. Just like who I'm a fan of. But I love Bill Cosby and he's guilty. Yeah, probably. Wait, do they have to be accused of a crime?

Because on that rubric, you're guilty. Because I don't care for you as a person. But you just told everyone we were friends. I know, I got bad self-esteem. You relate to that, right?

Most of them actually haven't seen each other so it's a very awkward argument. Why would you bring that up on a podcast? I don't know. Now you wonder why I don't like you. All right, Eddie, what do you got?

Whose turn is it? All you're going to your lifeline. What are you looking at your phone for? Because I'm out. You're cheating. But I'm out. Could you tell me one?

Well, you still shouldn't be looking up. Well, I just wanted to see. We still got to play. Well, yeah, but I'm not going to tell you what's up. I'm out. You're cheating. But I'm out. Could you tell me one? Well, you still shouldn't be looking up. Well, I just wanted to see. We still got to play. Well, yeah, but I'm not going to tell you what's up. I'm going to tell you

149 credits are at your disposal. Wow. Features? 149 features? Yeah. There's a lot of as-herself TV things and stuff. That's as actress,

not as herself. Oh, okay. Wow. Yeah, that's great. She's been around. Eddie. She's done some shit. Eddie.

What do you got, Eddie? Rat Race. Rat Race. around. Eddie. She's done some shit. What do you got, Eddie? Rat race. Rat race. Yeah. Thank you, Eddie. Are you still in, Jacob? You're out. It's just me and Moshe?

Yep. And I got another one. I just went to Eddie for that one. Now I got my one. I'm going to spring on you. Okay. I'm going to spring this one on you, and hopefully it's the one you're about to spring. Boys on the side.

No. I don't. Yep. Yeah. Okay, what do you got? I mean, that time she farted on the view, does that count?

I got nothing. You really had nothing? I got nothing, no. Holy shit. You win. You win. There's a great one that I just saw on here

that I feel like I would never have gotten. You can tell us now. Well, yeah, because it's over. Toy Story 3. Oh. What is she?

Which character called Stretch? Oh, okay. And Madea goes to jail. Oh. She's in a Madea film? Yeah. What's the thing

with the singing? Like, Serafina, Serafina. Oh, yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. What is it?

Yeah, what else did we miss, you guys? Eddie Cinderella? The new Snow Buddies? Oh, you guys? Eddie, Cinderella? The new Snow Buddies? Oh, Rodgers and Hammerstein, Cinderella? Snow Buddies, Dougal.

Karina, Karina. Karina, Karina. Eddie, of course, the basketball one. So maybe one Serafina, two Karinas. Was she in Jumanji? Oh, she's in one of my favorite movies of all time, Jumanji? Was she in Jumanji? Oh. She's in one of my favorite movies of all time, Super Babies, Baby Geniuses 2.

Oh, yeah. I love Baby Geniuses 2. It's amazing. I can't believe that didn't come up. That's a great one. And you know what? She was in the third Star Trek, the new ones,

but not the second one. All right. Well, we did a pretty good job. That was a fun one. Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Sure. She gets out.

She gets out there. No, she's a working actress. I'm sure she popped up in at least one Muppet movie. Oh, yeah. A lot. Muppet Christmas movie, How Stella Got Her Groove Back,

not a Muppet movie, but... No, that was all. Taye Diggs is actually a Jim Henson creation. Only because Jim died too soon. He was in the works. Let's play another game, you guys, to determine who wins all the prizes tonight.

And I think one or two of you may have played this before. It's a twist on the old Leonard Maltin game. It's called Reverse Maltin. Oh, yeah. I'm back. Give me a moment. Moshe won that last one. What order were we going in? Who was after Moshe?

We went to... Yes, we'll switch the order around. Moshe, then to Paul. Quick question for Carly. How come you didn't pull your phone out when you knew you were going to be called upon? Why would they pull their phone out? That's cheating. Did you say they can't use their phones? I just assume everyone would know that.

Oh, in San Francisco, everybody had their phones out, I thought. They did? Yeah. That's just, what the fuck? The cookie guy's like, I don't see the problem here. I was looking at my cookie the whole time. I think you just know that it's like the idea is that your lifeline is somebody that's... But he was...

I guess it's a look at him. The cookie guy was texting on his cookie the entire time. Is it Cookie? Pepperidge Farms? I think he was in a movie called Cookie. Is it Taraji P. Henson? Cookie 2,

The Need for Speed. I go deep with my cookie reference and go Peter Falk. Remember that Peter Falk movie, Cookie? No. I didn't know he was in a movie called Cookie. He's Peter Falk. Remember that Peter Falk movie, Cookie? No. Oh, wow. I didn't know he was in a movie called Cookie. He's a mobster who's got a daughter who's got a real lust for life.

Oh, yeah, Cookie. Now I remember. All right, so Moshe gets to pick the first category. And the idea, Moshe, is you'll pick, I mean, the first movie. You get to pick between three films. And you want to pick the one you think you know the most actors from, or at least the one where you might be able to bluff that you know what you're talking about. And you get to

choose between these three films. Would you like Clockwork Orange, Fried Green Tomatoes, or Herbie Goes Bananas? Fried Green Tomatoes. Okay, so Fried Green Tomatoes. Okay, so Fried Green Tomatoes, according to Leonard,

he lists about 12 actors from this film. He lists 12 people from Fried Green Tomatoes. So the idea is you're going to bid how many of those people that you can name, and then the bidding will move on to Paul. Negative two.

Is that right? No. That's not how it works? No, you just... Oh, two. The top two? Any of the names. The idea is that you just have to name any of them of the ones that Leonard lists. Oh, wait. I thought it was that you had to name them from the top down. No, no. This is like...

That was in some cases in the old game. Now, this is in the reverse version. We all know what the movie is. And you just bid on how many people from that movie you can name. So now he says two, so the idea is you could challenge him, but

two people from Fried Green Tomatoes, let's be honest, it's not difficult. I found it to be challenging. No, it's a good number to say because now you have to see if you can think of three or more from it. Well, I'm just going to say name that movie. He's going to say name the two people. Okay. So Moshe has to come up

with two names. I'm going to really test it so that you know it. I feel like I know one for sure. I know one for sure. It's Kathy Bates and Olympia Dukakis. Hello, everybody? Everyone's just so excited that you are wrong! Olympia Dukakis was in

Steel Magnolias. That's the same movie! I was going to say Mary Stewart, no, Mary Louise Parker. Yep, Mary Louise Parker and Mary Stewart, Master of Science. Was Jessica Yep, Mary Louise Parker and Mary Stewart Masterson. Oh! Was Jessica Tandy that?

Jessica Tandy and Cicely Tyson and Chris O'Donnell and Stan Shaw. Lots of 12 people according to, you know, listed by Leonard.

And so that means that Paul's on the board. Paul has a point because he saw through Moshe's deception, self-deception, because I think he thought he knew two names.

I did. I thought I did. I thought Olympia Dukakis. And I actually thought that was the same movie. I thought they were the same in terms of quality and meaning in the long term. Yeah, well, like Fried Green Tomatoes flips back and forth between two different stories and Steel Magnolia stays in one place, but it could all be

one thing. One's on Jakku, right? And the other one's on Starkiller Base. It's not like that for me. All right, so now we're going to start with Moshe and then come back at you, Paul.

I'm sorry, Jacob, I meant to say. Could one of you take the glasses off? Mine don't come off. Oh, really? Yeah, they're all

glued in there? They're sewn in, yeah. All right. Are you just, does Force All right. Are you just... Does Force Awakens just bother you just because there's a black guy in a Storm Super outfit? No, why would that bother me?

I spent my whole life... That's an audible gasp. I spent my whole life trying to be black. What are you talking about? Hey, by the way, spoiler alert, dude. Not everybody's seen the movie. They probably haven't seen that trailer where he's running around with his hand...

Might ruin the movie for him. Yeah, you're right. But they haven't... I'm reading the novel now, the novelization. They haven't mentioned once that trailer where he's running around with his hand. Might ruin the movie for him. I'm reading the novel now, the novelization. They haven't mentioned once that he's black. I was wondering if they're going to address that. I'm reading the prequel novel which is like Before the Force Awakens and it's full of the N-word.

It's written by Quentin Tarantino, right? I am reading and that is to be as nerdy as that. After that. Yeah, no. And that N-word. Three short stories. That N-word is Naboo. No, you're never going to hear that word again.

Jacob, you get to pick between three movies. Okay. Fletch, Fletchch Lives or Foul Play Which one of those three do you think you know the most of the cast? If any I would go with

Foul Play Leonard lists seven, ten people from Foul Play from 1978 How many of those do you think you can name? And this goes to who next, Paul? seven, ten people from foul play from 1978. How many of those do you think he could be? And this goes to who next, Paul? You. If I have to ask.

Yeah, go to Paul. It's good to know that. That's a good strategy. Look at him, see if he seems confident. He made that N-word joke earlier. That requires a lot of confidence. How many can you name, Jacob? I'm going to pull a Moshe

and say two. Fuck it. I'm not sure on the third. That's my number now? That's a good number. That's a good number. Three. Paul says three, Moshe.

Name that movie. I've never even heard of this movie. Really? Oh, okay. Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, Billy Barty.

No. That is correct. Was Charles Groton in it? I know he's in Just Like Old Times, or Seems Like Old Times. No Charles Grodin. Burgess Meredith, Dudley Moore. It was really our first time seeing Dudley Moore, if you only watch stuff here. It was in San Francisco too, right? Wasn't it in San Francisco, Foul Play?

Yeah. Pretty sure. Yeah. And the theme song was Barry Manilow, and it was followed by a short-lived TV series that didn't work because it didn't star Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn. I love that movie. Leonard only gives it two and a half stars

for whatever reason. Paul's our winner! All right! Yeah, you did it! Two points for Paul. Killing it. Why don't you start us off

with plugs okay plugs you can listen to how did this get made that's great and do that if you want

yeah and we appreciate it and oh yeah oh and the crash test the special that Rob Hubel and I did is airing on

Comedy Central on January 23rd, a Saturday, or maybe it's a Friday, the 22nd. Just put in your DVR. You'll figure it out. It's for free, so do it. I'm not asking for your money. Is it still available where it was available? It's available on iTunes and Vimeo if you want to watch

it without bleeps over fucks. And with no commercials. So there you go. Yeah, alright. Paul Shearer, everybody. Jake, come get your prize bag congratulations and make sure you get your pop vinyl back and you can also take

Paul's phone if you'd like to have that Moshe what's what do you got to plug buddy oh I do a podcast called the Hound Tall Discussion Series

where we have an expert like a professor or an author, come on as a panel of comedians, interrupts that expert, and makes jokes at their expense, makes them wonder why they agreed to do the podcast in the first place. And we will be doing some live tapings at the San Francisco Sketch Fest January 22nd and 23rd, that Friday, Saturday. We're talking about raves one night,

raves in the history of electronic music, and we're talking about the history of comedy the next night. So come on out. There's going to be a lot of fun guests. It'll be really good. Moshe Kasher, everybody. Thank you. Jacob?

I'll plug a sketch fest show as well. I'm going to be up in San Francisco this Saturday, the 16th, at the Swedish American Hall with a friend of the show, Jonah Ray. We're doing this show with a Weezer cover band called The Undone Sweaters. Jonah and I are doing some Weezer-themed stand-up. Really?

Well, I'm doing Weezer-themed stand-up. I love that. Maybe Jonah's just doing his regular act. I don't know. We haven't pre-gamed. Yeah, no, but that sounds

really fun. That'll be a lot of fun. I love Weezer comedy. I think you invented Weezer. I don't want to put you on the spot, but can you just give us one? As a Weezer. I don't want to put you on the spot, but is there... Can you just give us one? I have a Weezer hand. I would love to hear

any sort of... Sure. Well, do you want... It's a story, but it's a little lengthier. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, we don't have time for a story. Do one of your one-liners. I don't have Weezer one-liners. It's not like, hey, what did you get when you crossed a hash pipe? It sounds like you need hey, what did you get when you cross a hash pipe?

It sounds like you need some. What do you get when you get a Jew that wears glasses? A guy that looks just like Buddy Holly. Something like that? He wasn't Jewish. I don't know. You look like Buddy Holly. Right. Well, I had Weezer tickets on 9-11. That's a true story. And they canceled the show, surprisingly.

Made the show up on 9-12. One was San Jose, one was Oakland. Went to the 9-12, so it was very strange. Nobody started canceling baseball games like a week or a few days after. And they probably wouldn't have done it in retrospect. But they did. And they had very horrible opening bands with them.

An act called The Start. I hope none of them are here tonight. There was an L.A. band with a girl singer who just kept telling everybody to not think about 9-11, which made everybody think about 9-11. Then they had this band called Cold, which is this horrible kind of like sad rock, kind of limp biscuity thing that Rivers was going through a phase where he

really liked that. He handpicked them. They ended up getting booed off the tour. But when they came back to the San Jose and made up the 9-11 show in November of the same year and brought Jimmy E. World and Tenacious D, an amazing lineup, and honored the ticket, the 9-11 tickets. So I guess the joke is that 9-11 worked out pretty well for me.

And that's true. That's not like some Steve Renzese shit. I actually had tickets to see 9-11. You were really in the heart of it. You were part of the, you were going to go to that canceled show. Yeah, I was going to be there. And it was going to be a garbage show. It affected everybody.

That was literally my first thought when the plane hit the tower. Yeah, it was going to be there. And it was going to be a garbage show. 9-11, it affected everybody. Yeah. That was literally my first thought when they're playing at the tower. Like, fuck, Weezer's not playing tonight. That was actually Osama bin Laden's first thought, too. Yeah. Well, it was going to be my first time seeing him, too, so you can understand.

People love Weezer. All I'm going to say is Douglovesmovies.com and thank you once again to my guests Jacob Seroff, Moshe Kasher and Paul Scheer. You can stay or leave. I don't care. Whatever you want to do. As always,

fucktard bosses are a shithead. They really are the worst kind of bosses. I got that off of this. Our fucktards. I mean, I got an extra 30 seconds here. Let's talk about fucktards. And anyone who doesn't name their puppy

Dog Benson is a shit Now it's time for Doug to watch another Talkie, eyes on Goldie's view And growl as Big Zip Doggie There's no room in his heart For you, cause Doug Loves movies