Doug Loves Movies - Pete Holmes, Beck Bennett, and “Werner Herzog” Guest

Episode Date: April 23, 2013

Doug welcomes Pete Holmes, Beck Bennett, and LMG winner “Werner Herzog” to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seats with 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth. They're still not warm, that he won't sleep, because Doug loves movies. Hey everybody, my name is, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater on Tuesday, April 23rd, 2 Oceans 13. Since last I spoke and you listened, I saw Star Trek Into Darkness, motherfuckers. Yeah, I did.

I watched it. Eyeballed it. Beginning to end. Well, it ran out during the credits, so I don't know ifballed it. Beginning to end. Well, I ran out during the credits, so I don't know if there's a scene at the end. But thank you to Paramount for letting me into one of the first ever, I think the first ever screening of the movie with people

that didn't have anything to do with making it. And I won't spoil anything, but I will say that if you're a Star Trek fan, you will love it. And if you're not a Star Trek fan, you still might think, and if you're not a Star Trek fan, you still might think it's pretty fun. You still might kind of enjoy it. Now it's time for Tweet Relief,

tweets about movies. At Cheyenne Wright tweeted, that was fast. HBO Films has a sequel lined up for Burt Wonderstone. I think it's called Behind the Candelabra. This has been Tweet Rel relief, tweets about movies. That's pretty solid reference, but you have to have seen all the ads

for the Liberace movie on HBO and be some of the few that saw Burt Wonderstone to put that all together. So that wasn't fun for everybody, but it was fun for me. St. Louis! I hope you haven't been destroyed yet as depicted in the TV show Defiance

because I will be at the Firebird in St. Louis on Saturday, May 4th. Let's look in the prize bag, you guys. Yeah. There's some good stuff in there. There's a motion picture that I'll talk about

a little later. There's another there's some sort of comedy video. I brought a shirt that was given to me by the good people

at houseofhaha.com and oh look at this another thing somebody gave me a bunch of hint water. And it says, drink water, not sugar. So it kind of berates you.

And then gives you a delicious water with a hint of lime. That's why it's called Hint, I'm assuming. Smug Life, my CD. Some deliciousness that we'll talk about. Yeah, there's definitely, like, if you're hungry, you want to win tonight. And I heart you sticker. Not necessarily bumper.

You can put it anywhere. I'm not going to tell you what to do with it, but with some little, the heart is weed in the shape of a heart. I weed heart you. So I don't know what that's about. Please help me in welcoming Beck Bennett, Pete Holmes, and Werner Herzog. Doug, I was telling a ghost story and you ruined it.

Hello. I stepped on your ghost story. You stepped on my ghost story punchline. It was very scary. And you know what's embarrassing is I was telling it and Paul, oh, Werner, fuck.

I'm sorry! I didn't do that to ruin things! A moment earlier, it was different. I don't understand. What did you ruin? Because one of the guys that works here, Paul, was backstage as well. There it is. That's why they know you as the

professional. That's how they know me. I am Leon the professional. Oh, you only drink milk and you shoot sniper bullets with children? That movie's fucking creepy. Is he fucking her? No, he doesn't make love to her.

Is he finger making love to her? Little baby Natalie Portman, but you knew she was going to be hot. Smelling the back of her neck. Alright, Pete Holmes is here. I guess I should say that. Spooting. Hello. Just got to get right to the fact

that Pete Holmes is here. There's no ignoring that Pete Holmes is here. Congratulations on your new television program premiering in November. Thank you very much, Jack. I look forward

to having you on. TBS, always be funny. It's TBS, characters welcome. Thank you very much, Jack. I look forward to having you on. TBS, always be funny. It's TBS characters welcome. Thank you very much. TNT. Watch out for... Here comes the comedy. Here comes the boom.

I thought I was going to say. TNT. Which one do you want? Booms welcome. You're on TBS. AMC. No, you're not. I'm on USA.

Is there anything lamer? How can we make our network appeal to Americans? Call it USA? You're the CEO. That's a lot of acronyms. AAA, HIV. Pete Holmes and his acronym humor. I love good acronym humor.

It's great to have you here, buddy. All right. Is there like an off switch or something? Should we? So this woman is dropping her child. Great to have you here, buddy. All right. Is there like an off switch or something? Or should we... So this woman is dropping her child. She got the child in the car and it's like... Wait, this is the ghost story? Yeah.

This is it. It's so fast. Does it have anything to do with movies? Yes. No, it doesn't. You liar. You liar. Yeah. No, it doesn't. You liar. You liar. Yeah.

No, it does. You're a liar. Try to slip it in later. This woman was... There's been too much Pete Holmes so far. I agree. We have to go

to the other guests. All right. Because they're, you know, they're great guys that came down and they're, you know,

they're just not... Listen to this guy's voice. It's not going to fight with you. It's going to be worth the download. Well, the reason that Beck Bennett is here, everybody... Hello, everybody. Thank you.

The reason that he is here is because... Hello. I think those AT&T commercials he's in are hilarious. Oh, well, thank you. And he has to deal with children. Yeah, I know. And you, Pete Holmes, are the E-Trade baby. Yes, I am.

I'm the baby. Yeah, I'm a baby. Who cares? More effeminate. I'm the baby. This is the worst body switch movie ever made. Well, you know, doing those commercials is always hard work. Stop doing that.

Working with children and you never know what you're going to get. Well, you know what? Thank you for having me. Pete, I just want to say I'm a big fan. I don't think anybody's doing it quite like you. Thank you so much, Beck. The way your body moves just makes me cum. I just wanted to say something about the way you're abnormally shaped and proportioned.

Yeah, no, I agree. Your head's a little too big. normally shaped and proportioned. Yeah, no, I agree. Your head's a little too big. This is why noted filmmaker and madman Werner Herzog is here, because... Oh, you can't rob him, he got nothing. Because somebody has to help me keep control of this.

I am curious to discover that I have some sort of purpose being here. Well, you're also the Leonard Maltin game champion ongoing. Thank you. The Leonard what now? Yeah, that's a game that we play on the show sometimes. Not if I win my game. It's usually not when Pete Holmes is on.

We usually don't get to all the games. Pete, I like you a lot. I think you look like Jeff Bridges and you went time traveling and something went wrong. Thank you so much. That's my Pete Holmes voice. It's pretty good. Can I hear you speak?

Yeah, I'll give you a little touchstone. Hey, Doug, thanks for having me. Hey, Doug, thanks for having me. Hey, Doug, thanks for having me. Now let's do Norm MacDonald. Hey, Doug, thanks so much for having me. I hope my film Dirty Work comes out. I got a sports show. I got a big gambling problem.

I'm trying to imagine a universe in which this would be entertaining to the listener. Guys, time traveling to roast us. I don't know what that's accomplishing. I loved you in Jack Reacher. Just kidding. Out now on Blu-ray.

And Werner brought a copy of a motion picture he made with Klaus Kinski called My Best Friend. Please hold your applause as Doug is incorrect. It is entitled My Best Fiend because it is about my relationship with noted psychopath and part-time actor Klaus Kinski.

As you see on the cover, I am smiling rapturously as he is holding a machete to my throat with a look of messianic ecstasy on his face, attempting to end my life. Can I see that? Yeah, I want to look at that. Yep, that's exactly what's going on there.

Who is Klaus? I'm sorry that I have not provided a copy of my new release, Jack Reacher, in which I play an acting role. I, of course, will be shipped a copy of my new release, Jack Reacher, in which I play an acting role. I, of course, will be shipped a crate of them from the studio, but they have not yet arrived. I want to caution everyone that it does not yet seem to be in stores from what I'm told. So before you go driving all over the goddamn city like some sort of idiot, before you go driving all over the goddamn city like some sort of idiot,

maybe research before you get in your car that Jack Reacher is not yet in stores. Love T-Cruise. In case that happens to anyone. Wait, is that a news story? I feel like we're laughing more. There's like an informity to that laugh. An informity.

It's laughing like they know something. Werner was just telling it like it is. Some people have a poor grasp of the English language. I don't know that informity is a word. It's a word. It's like conformity, but more informative.

I think you may be suffering from an infirmity that affects your speech center. I think they have a sale on informatees down at American Apparel. I prefer the novelty as they have at Spencer's.

And Beck also brought a VHS copy of Yakov Smirnov's What a Country comedy video. a VHS copy Of Yakov Smirnov's What a Country Comedy video Great VHS It's hard to tell if he autographed it Or if it's just $8

Is that an autograph? No, it's $8 I'm charging $8 for it If you win it, you owe me $8 And what are these delicious things that you brought? Those are cake monkeys. Does anybody know what cake monkeys are? I don't.

See, he said to me backstage, like, I was supposed to go, oh, yeah, cake monkeys. Yeah. So just to be clear, you brought two gifts. Yeah, I brought two gifts. Okay. Because cake monkey just looks like the fanciest ho-ho. Yes. And there's also a really super fancy

ding dong it's like ho-hos and ding dongs for like middle aged people who have grown up and like can't buy that stuff anymore you know

and feel good about it so they get those they get cake monkeys you go to the cake you're like oh I'm like grown up and I'm mature so I'll get a cake monkey

you'd have to isolate the audio to hear my joke. It would be worth it. I cannot wait to get out my pro tools when I get home. You know, Werner, I set them up,

you knock them down. Little game we call bowling in this country. I get real xenophobic. Do you think bowling has other names in other countries? Yeah, round ball white man. You want to play round ball

white man? Where do they call it that? In Ukraine. Where they call Coca-Cola black sugar water. Hot, hot, pop, pop. What is this that you brought, Pete? Look, I'm not here to say I didn't bring a quinoa decadence bar. But I totally did.

Because some of us want the chocolate in our treats to be raw. The chocolate in my treats are raw? I don't believe you. Well, I'll show you after the show. I want to see right now. I can't. It's not appropriate. Here, I'll show you after the show. I want to see right now. I can't. It's not appropriate.

Here, I'll be one of the children in your commercial. What's the topic? What's the topic? Well, lemonade is sour, sweet. My sister spilled it on the car. Let me just interject quickly that this is happening. He really likes the commercials a lot. I do like them a lot.

Are we rolling on this? I did not think it was possible for this dynamic to yield less. It's not fair. You're over there sharpshooting like one of the old Muppets, you son of a bitch. Why don't you join us over here trying to make the show? You think I can't just sit in a tower

and sharpshoot other people's efforts? Fuck you, you're like the Ukrainian Jesselnik, you son of a bitch. I love you, and I like your body. We can't be playing the games yet. How many games have we played? I got a couple of games lined up. What are they?

One that you've never played before. The Leonard Maltin game? That's easy to understand. Oh. And yes, the Leonard Maltin game. Yeah. But I thought I'd ask you, I agree with you, we should still have a little bit morein game. Yeah. But I thought I'd ask you... I agree with you.

We should still have a little bit more movie talk. Yeah. Yeah. Or some. Yeah. See, I knew Werner would help me to keep this under control. I feel like you're the rodeo guy and he's the prairie dog and we're the fucking...

Well, I'm the retarded stallion. Just bucking around. Yeah, where does that leave Beck? I'm the... Well, I'm the retarded stallion. He's bucking around. Yeah, where does that leave Beck? I'm the... Yes, who is the... What is the fourth iconic character that everyone is familiar with? I have fallen and died in your sarcasm.

It's 127 hours. I'm going to lose my arm in a sarcasm. Do you understand? There's a movie. Give me your hand. I'll pull you up. Wink. Wait, what do you mean? Why do you get things I don't get?

I love getting things. Because I am listening. Oh, God. Be sure to follow Seth Herzog on Twitter, everybody. I think his name is The Zog on there. Werner Hot Dog, everybody. Have you been to the movies lately, Pete? Mm-hmm.

What'd you see? I can't remember. Okay, moving on. I can't remember. Okay, moving on. Oh, I was going to see The Place Beyond the Pines with Daddy Gus. Let me ask you this, Beck. Did you ever say anything to the kids that would be inappropriate to show in the commercial?

Like, I know that in one of them they have you saying, that's a pain in the buns. Right. Which is an unusual thing to say to children. I don't think I've ever sworn at them or said any inappropriate words. But I've yelled at them. And I've laughed at them. I've laughed in their faces very hard. And there's just a lot of in-between takes.

A lot of, he's just playing around. That's the, the kids all get it. No, no, they don't. I scare the hell out of them. I scare the shit out of them. But they're kids. They bounce back. So as soon as you yell at them,

they'd say something and I'd be like, that's a wrong answer! You're wrong! And they'd freak out. And I'd be like, no, I'm just kidding. And they'd get really happy. Stand and deliver? Your voice is terrifying. You sound like Lucifer on helium. You're wrong! This is scary. This makes me yearn to direct these commercials.

It's really all about the director being like getting takes for himself, just getting weird, weird stuff that we would never be able to air. It's totally appropriate. Just telling that one girl

to shut up or I'm watching this or whatever you say to her, hold on, I'm watching this, it's really, it's good television. It's about as risque as we can get. These children need to learn that this is what life is,

is that it is unsatisfying, and they should enjoy their resilience while they have it now, because eventually all is despair. I couldn't agree more. I think when Werner starts talking he's just like, when I get to the word despair I'll stop.

That's my safe word. Despair is my curb feeler. Did I ask you about movies you've seen, Beck? No, you haven't. What have you seen lately? I saw Frost Nixon recently. Did I ask you about movies you've seen, Beck? No, you haven't. What have you seen lately? Anything? I saw Frost Nixon recently. Okay.

I feel like if I said that, everyone would be laughing at me. Why are we giving him the benefit of the doubt? That movie is as old as Nixon. That movie is old as shit. Yeah, it's an old movie. I saw it on the airplane. I saw Rise of the Guardians.

Can we talk about that? Yeah, well, why didn't you say that? Okay. I didn't know we'd do this. Now we've moved on. I didn't see it at the cinema. You saw it of the Guardians. Can we talk about that? Yeah, well, why didn't you say that? I didn't see it at the cinema. I saw the cinema on the airplane. Sure. You consider that a cinema? It is cinema.

It's not a cinema. It's cinema. Everyone has shown to me. What do you think? I believe that Beck is correct that film and cinema have often been

synonymous terms. Pete is correct that an airplane is not a movie theater. Thank you. But I did not say movie theater. I said I saw cinema

on the airplane. I did not mean to impugn what you said or imply that you misspoke. I am merely backing up Pete insofar as his claim that a plane is not a movie theater

is correct. What have you seen recently, Werner? Does every party at your house end in group sex? That voice is so seductive. I have never experienced a party. That voice is so seductive. I have never experienced a party.

All right, let's play some games. That's a good time to go to the games portion of the show. Let the games begin. See, that's stressful for you. You have to find the out point. Oh, it wasn't stressful at all. I just knew it would be him. You knew it.

That's, that, is that, you son of a bitch. Yeah, we can laugh off mic and no one knows that we're laughing at you because we don't want them to know when we're laughing at you. That's part of your charm. When I get in front of Pro Tools,

I'm going to isolate that laugh and amplify it. You son of a bitch. Reminiscent of Gene Hackman in The Conversation. Later, Pete will be tearing up his own floorboards and playing a saxophone. I don't get so much of the show. I know, classic cinema, throwing a dude off.

But, gentlemen, pick your name tags. I'm sorry, may I ask, Pete, how many movies, lifetime, would you say you have seen? Five? No way, tons. The answer's tons. You seem to be taken by surprise

by every movie reference that is made. Tearing up the floorboards and playing the saxophone. Sir, I am the pulse of pop culture. If I don't get that, no one gets it. You saw Rise of the Guardians and didn't

remember. You should check out The Conversation. It's a classic Francis Ford Coppola, Jamie Hackman joint. I've had his wine. Go pick a name tag. Gentlemen, pick your name tags. Go get a name tag.

Bring it back to your seat. That's who you're playing for. Don't read the shithead on the back. I hear and see a lot of good things. It sounds like good name tags. you're playing for. Don't read the shithead on the back. I hear and see a lot of good things. Sounds like good name tags. No matter how much you shake those malted milk balls,

it doesn't seem to be getting anybody. What are they? What are you shaking over there? Oh, penne. Okay. He's shaking a box of penne. Hold it up. I can't believe anybody would resist that.

Let's get a few seconds of you shaking that shit. I will confess to momentarily become very excited at the prospect of malted milk balls. What do you have, Pete? Hold that up. Show me. Is someone named George?

I don't know. Is your name George? This is a George Foreman grill. I don't know if you know. It's been featured in many, many films. There's one in Cloverfield, briefly. In Air Force One, there's an early model. Okay.

And I believe in the classic, one of my favorites, The Conversation. Yep. That's what he finds under the floorboard. And I believe in the classic, one of my favorites, The Conversation. That's what he finds under the floorboard. A prototype of the George Foreman grill. I honestly think my booming laugh robbed you of a huge crowd laugh. It scared them, and that

deserved more. I think we're okay. We're gonna be alright, you guys. Beck, what do you got there? Show me that doggy. I have no idea. It's a dog. From Jessica. It's from the film Up. Right. Yes, it's the Up Dog.

Now I know why I got it. But the name has been changed to Jessica. What's Up Dog? Ah! Nothing much, Doug. Noises. We love noises. They're fun.

People love... Wait, wait, wait. What's he say? Oh, he talks. Hi there. We love noises. They're fun. People love... Wait, wait, wait. What's he say? Oh, he talks. Hi there. Have you not seen the classic? In the movie, he goes, squirrel. But I don't know what he's saying.

Why? Don't put the microphone there. Why are you defibrillating him? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Wait, it comes out right where the sound hole is.

Find its sound hole, quickly. I want him to say Why are we doing this? I was hiding under the porch because I love you. Does TBS know what you're going to do on TV when you get the chance? We'll shoot a lot. We'll just cut the best of it. Werner, who are you playing for down there?

I'm playing for a young lady named Sarah who's made a wonderful 3D representation of a shark, much like the shark from the film Jaws. It's bursting out of a cardboard placard with blood and gristle encrusting its teeth. And what I like about it

is it demonstrates the unrelenting hatred that nature has for mankind. Oh, I'm sorry. Who were you playing for? I mean, I'm assuming. Sarah. Okay, Sarah. You're playing for Sarah. Yes, the first thing I said. Yeah.

It was so long ago. I needed Google Maps to find my way. These are the burgers they put on the box deck. What are you trying to say? They don't look delicious? They look like squashed old man balls. Now look.

So you're already seeking out people to sponsor your program. Pete Holmes, great with advertisers. George Foreman Grill, those look like shits on a Barbie. We'll be right back. Hit it, Doug. Let's do it. It's my favorite part of the show when Pete's telling me to move it along.

Who here, when they think the word games gets hungry? Hungry for games? Pete, you're going to go first. I am hungry for games. This is called Bane or Lincoln. I'm going to say a line that was either said by Bane in Dark Knight Rises or Lincoln in Spielberg's Lincoln.

No problem. Spielberg and Tony Kushner's Lincoln. And then you just tell me. We'll go down the line. Each of you guess which one it's from. There are no wrong answers. Only correct ones. We're going to go one at a time, right?

Yeah. You can say whatever you want, but you know, you might help the other people next to you if you say something that convinces them it's the right answer. I feel like you could do a good Vin Diesel. Yeah, probably. Offer Pete a fast five.

What does he say? What does he say? These cars... Wait, these cars are fast if they're fast. If they're faster. Are they fast enough? These cars are faster than everything I've seen.

Don't worry about it. They're fast. It sounds a little too fast. Am I too furious? You're just furious enough. I'm always furious. You could kill us all unarmed. Here it is, Pete.

The line is this. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Well, that's on the $5 bill. So you're saying Lincoln? Come on, Doug. It's Bane. Okay. Final.

If you say so. Beck? I'm going to say Lincoln. Okay. Final. If you say so. Beck? I'm going to say Lincoln. Okay. Wait a minute. Is this a trick? No, it's a game, Pete. Everyone gets to guess.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And some people are going to be right and some are going to be wrong. You haven't been set up. It's just a game. We're all having fun. Now, this raises the question, are all games tricks

and do we have to reframe our way of viewing games I do feel tricked when I say yes to Pictionary would you like children would you like to be tricked into a land of candy? Or a van of candy? So what's your answer?

Well, I took those Monopoly beats downtown. I don't own shit. That was a trick. I tried to enjoy the ref. Lincoln. Lincoln. Hmm? Lincoln.

Well, now I think it's definitely a trick. Why? Because you won? It's Bane. Of course it's Bane. I thought it was going to be like, I found this old, old speech of Lincoln under my bed on tea-stained maps

and he said that quote as well, because it could have been either. You guys didn't see The Dark Knight? Yeah, I saw The Dark Knight. I remember that quote. I love that Pete is getting that it could have been either. You guys didn't see The Dark Knight? Yeah, I saw The Dark Knight. I remember that quote. I love that Pete is getting that it could have been either. That's why it's a game, Pete. Zero. If it was,

I'm the president and I have a big hat, it would be a more obvious. Well, I'm going to win this game every time. You've won the entire game. There's no more. There's no reason to go on.

I'll do one. The fire will rise is the first one. I think that's Gandalf. Oh, I got one. You said that as if we were all taking a turn, but you are the only one who keeps talking.

Oh, no, no, no, me, me. I'm an old, old, lanky man. Here's another long-winded story. That's Gandalf. You son of a bitch. It's called Lincoln Urbane. Or how about Lincoln Urbane? I'm going to the theater, motherfuckers.

All right, so... Let's play Leonard Maltin game. But Pete won the right to go first for being so great at Bane or Lincoln. The only one I'd like to point out that got it correct. You got all the answers right. We really need to point that out. That was unclear.

I won this game before. All right, you get to pick a category. You were untrickable. And then we'll go to Werner, and then we'll go to Beck, because it's his first time on the show, but he knows how to play. I think he's more familiar with the game than you are, Pete.

Here on your 17th visit. It's been a pleasure. Beck's here for the first time, and he's going to be better than you. Okay. Would you like? The devil wears Prada. Okay, I'll tell the story quickly In the asparagus pea category

Which is where you read the entire review Pete Holmes couldn't get Devil Wears Prada You gave me the entire cast as well The entire cast Is that what you mean? I said yeah I said Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway and you said, no idea what you're talking about.

Yeah. I thought it was a porno called Hathaway, You're Way With Me. Wait. Half You're Way With Me. Is that the full title with the weight in there as well? It doesn't quite work, but it'll get you where you want to go.

Michael Moore is celebrating a birthday today. Our friend Michael Moore. That we met in Traverse City. And then you did that to him right to his face. My dad. I was accosted by a young man who came up and insisted his impression of me was accurate.

Because of that impression, my father was laid off and replaced by a robot made with parts from the World Trade Center I mean come on seriously okay hit it so films of Michael Moore. Or at Mr. Underscore Tag suggested The Hurtfocker and that's movies where Ben Stiller gets injured. And at Varkentine, like Valentine, but with an R

and a K in there, suggested 7-Eleven and that's movies with 7 to 11 words in the title. So which one of those would you like to play, Pete? I want to play 7 to 11. Okay. You're already counting off on your finger,

like, trying to narrow it down. And if it's this one, I'm going to blow my own mind. Two stars from Leonard for this movie from 2003. Shit. He says about it that it's diverting for a while, but there's barely an honest moment in the film, and it doesn't have to go on quite as long as it does.

So this one put Leonard in a mood. But he still gave it two stars. And he lists about 12 names. Just give me the first three. Out of 12, how many do you think you need? Reading from the bottom up, of course. I need all 12. It's a smart opening bit.

Let's go to Werner, who's our current champion. Ongoing. I can name that movie in six names. I like your style. Oh, God. I have no idea.

So, eight. It's got to be fewer than six. It's got to be fewer than six. It's got to be fewer? Oh, I didn't realize that part of it. Or you could challenge me to name the film. I'm going to go five. Wait, can I do that? Yeah, you can.

Is that bad? No, it was a good play. Pete is surprised because he still does not understand the game. It was a good play. Pete is surprised because he still does not understand the game. Please, Beck, do not go by his reaction that you have done something incorrect. Whenever I'm lost, I'm looking at you. I'm surprised.

What a burden this show has become. Look. Wait, why are you surprised? Just get this show up the hill, Sisyphus. I'm surprised that you could have made him name the movie, which, based on that vague description, there's no way no one knows what it is, which means there's no way you know what it is, which means I'm about to get a point

by making you name the movie. Theoretically. Wait, can I change my answer? That's why I... We try not to have changed answers, but Pete makes a good point. Pete makes a great point. Can this episode

be called Pete Makes a Great Point? So you could say Werner, the episodes don't have names. You could say Werner Herzog named that movie

and, but it is the great Werner Herzog we're talking to here. I can, it's up to you. I will ask him to do so. I can... It's up to you. I will ask him to. It's your decision.

But you can ask him to name it if you think he can't get it with six names. So we're just finally... Reading from the bottom up. Pretending he didn't say it. That would be... Well, you're the one that talked him out of it. Yeah, you're the one...

I thought that it had been done. Were you just taunting him? Yeah, I was talking shit. I was talking trash. Shit talker. All right. No, no, no. I'm all for redemption.

What do you want to do? Shawshank. All right. What's happening? I'm going to ask you to name that movie. Then I will be forced to do so. Your six names are... Leland...

Leland Monteviche. Monteviche. Celia Weston. Anne Parisi. Thomas Lennon. Oh. Past and future guest Thomas Lennon. Catherine Hahn.

And Robert Klein. What are your six names for this movie Paul Paul is not any of the names oh the backstage employee I love that guy yeah he's great so she would stop running around

and confusing everybody got it Beck so it's on it's on burner you don't have to do anything no I know but what year what year

oh the year is 2003. And there's 7 to 11 words in the title. Is this film How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? Yes, it is. Oh, my God. Good advice, Pete Holmes. Yeah, thanks, Pete. I was definitely going to guess that, too.

That was great. Congratulations. Not only does he get a point, but I don't get a point. That's what I wanted. It is what you wanted. That's what I wanted, Pete. That's your better strategy.

Throw me the scraps. I'm not going to win, is what I'm saying. I think you can win. Werner's on the board. Let's see what happens. Are we still going to play the 7-11 game? That was just one time. That was a category that we played this one time.

There will be new categories from which to choose. I still know what you did last summer. No matter what the names were, that was my guess. So again, your strategy really paid off. Either way,

you weren't going to get the point. But this time we'll start with Beck, and then we will go... Wait. Pete, sorry. Start with Pete again. Thank you. Damn it.

But we'll go to Beck after Pete. He'll be next up. And Pete gets to choose. At Broadcast Boy suggested, may the odds be forever in your flavor. And that's movies that have food in the title. The great Jonathan Winters passed away recently, so Jonathan Winters motion pictures. Or from E underscore J underscore Howard,

Beverly Hills Flop, and that's Eddie Murphy movies that got below two stars. Two stars or less from Leonard. Beverly Hills Flop. Which one of those do you like? What was the first one? Food, Win Leonard Beverly Hills Flop which one of those do you like what was the first one food winters or

yeah let's see the food one food one would you like a food in the title movie from 2002 or from 1997 97 oh interesting

interesting gonna burn this whole god damn theater down I'm taking you home with me so you're telling me i should ask everyone to evacuate it's just shit talk it's just shit talk two stars from leonard for this movie that has food in the title. Yeah. 19? 97. Uh-huh. He calls it brood. I almost said brood. I don't know why.

He calls it brood. And he also says that it's... The film offers no real nourishment. Very clever, Leonard. But will appeal to kids just the same. Are we counting flubber as a food? No, and we're also not taking pre-guesses. 1997, and Leonard lists...

Shit. 11 names. How many do you think you can get it in? I bet the other one was cloudy with a chance of me You're the most focused on another thing person Can I change the year?

You're intensely focused on everything but what's really at hand What needs to be addressed Out of 11 names You are intensely focused on everything but what's really at hand. What needs to be addressed. Out of 11 names, you know that you can start with 11 names. I know that hasn't worked out for you in the past. Yeah. You can start out with all the names.

All right. I'm going to say 11 names. Okay. You did it. Beck, who's playing for Jessica, the dog? I'm going to do nine. Names. Nine, eleven.

Werner, Werner. So many things went down. Besides the buildings? That is not what I meant. You idiot. besides the buildings that is not what I meant you idiot so many things went down oh no oh no among them buildings

Beck by the powers invested in me by Doug Loves Movies, I command you to name that film. Oh, wow. Oh, how many names does he get? Nine. Nine.

Okay, nine names. I feel confident. It's got food in the title, two stars, 97. I'm only thinking of one movie. Broad, offers no real nourishment. The kids will like it. It's McDonald's the movie. No, that's not it.

And your nine names are Robert Wool, Shaquille O'Neal, Carmen Electra, Ron Lester, Jan Schweedeman, Schweiderman, No, no, it's Schweedeman.

Dan Schneider, Char Jackson, Abe Vigoda, and Sinbad. And the movie is called... Chocolat. Good Burger. Good Burger is correct.

Oh! Good Burger. Good Burger is correct. It was the one movie I was thinking. Alright. Okay, Usher. Usher, show yourself out. Very, very funny.

Take your ticket and get out. Oh, that was satisfying. That felt really good. Everybody's got a point, but Pete. That should be the title of your something. Bold words from the guy who thought Lincoln said, if you speak of the devil, he shall arise. Yeah, it sounds like something Lincoln would say.

If he was taking over Gotham, maybe. To be fair, that is just an old expression and it's not an original Bane. You guys are my least favorite. Bane did not turn to his writers and say, I need some hot new stuff for my latest speech. Work in some devil imagery that always goes over big.

It's a football crowd. I need to grab these people. Okay, Pete, you get to pick a category This time we'll go to Burner after you Would you like Would you like to play Speaking of Tom Lennon

Dangle Unchained And that's Movies that feature Tom Lennon Or At Captain Awesome KFT suggested chained and that's movies that feature tom lennon or at captain awesome kft suggested not for archetophobes and that's movies with any of the archette acting dynasty in them totally yeah i love them or or uh a bug's life and that's movies that have flea in them. Oh, God in heaven. We're running out of time.

Which one of those do you like? Which one of those do you remember? What were you thinking about when I told you the categories? Lincoln wearing a Bane mask. I wish to see that on the internet by tomorrow. I'm sure you will. I'm sure you will. You know, we've had our differences,

but I really enjoy you. If you were a child selling lemonade, I'd buy it. Maybe Pete could be in Grizzly Man, too. It is a consummation devoutly to be wished. Will it end the same way? That's where I was going with that. No, I all get it. Flea, Flea, movies with Flea? Movies with Flea?

Or movies with Arquette? Or movies with Tom Lennon? Yeah, none of these are good. Movies with Flea. Okay. That's the right attitude. Would you like a Flea movie? A Flea vehicle from

98 or 91 these are both in the 19s uh 98 1998 Leonard Maltin says this is a bomb

he calls it excruciating a sex bomb just a regular bomb that's a different guide He calls it excruciating. A sex bomb? Just a regular bomb. That's a different guide. Excruciating. And he says that the last word of the review is beware.

Wow. Yeah. And he lists a lot of names. It's about 15 names. 15 names in this movie that has flea in it. From 1991. Yeah. It was a bomb. How many do you need?

For 15. I need 15 of those names. I'm sorry, Doug. 91 or 98? 98. 98. I thought I said 91. He did. It's sorry, Doug. 91 or 98? 98. I thought I said 91. He did. Did he say 91 or 98? You said 91.

It won't be the first time I've Which one did you pick? forgotten and cost me a point. I think he picked 98. And you said 91. No, I said 91. You said 91? Then he said 98.

Why don't you say whatever you would like to say now? Well, what one did you already read? This is 98. 98, I said. No wonder Leonard wrote, Beware, this is his only haunted review. 16 names. How many?

We got another name. Yeah. That whole fracas gave me time to add. 15. I'm going to stick with 15 names. Okay. That's solid. I do have the song Sex Bomb in my head right now.

Can we go to Werner? Yeah, Werner. You said 15 names? Yeah. I will say 12 names. Okay, Beck. I'll say 10. Love that voice.

Yeah. Daddy's about to get a point You call Werner daddy? No I'm gonna say Back name of the movie You are? Yeah I think you just did

How many names does he get? Ten I get ten Ten names I get ten I get ten Alright Here you go Here's your ten names I'm not even gonna give the clues again It. Holy shit. I get ten. I get ten. All right. It's not a big deal.

Here you go. Here's your ten names. I'm not even going to give the clues again. It's not affecting me. That's how confident I am. I act with children. Beware. I'm not that confident.

I can handle it. I'll give you the clues if you need them. Ellen Barkin, Harry Dean Stanton, Michael Jeter, Christina Ricci, Gary Busey, Flea, Ricci, Gary Busey, Flea, Lyle Lovett, Cameron Diaz, Penn Jillette. How many are we doing? One more? Tim Thomerson. Oh, Tim Thomerson. Great. I'm glad I got 10. How could you do it without Tim Thomerson? Timmy Thomerson. The star of the Dollman franchise. From 1998.

Leonard says it's a bomb. Beware. Beware. Excruciating. Flea is in it. What's it called? Nothing but trouble. We're going to have a... Pete, you know how this works, right? What?

Beck is trying to guess. Yeah, I'm trying to guess right now. It's not Nothing But Trouble. I can read his face. Say it. Playing That Sunday Game. I gave it a shot. That's the name of a movie? I don't know. I just was hoping it was. Playing That Sunday Game? I was hoping that's the name of a movie? I don't know.

I just was hoping it was. Playing that Sunday game? I was hoping that was the name of this awful movie. I have no idea. Some people don't think it's awful. Mark Harmon was in it. Catherine Helmond. Craig Bierko. Tobey Maguire.

Benicio Del Toro. And Johnny Depp in... Traffic? Beer and Loathing in Las Vegas. Traffic? Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Traffic? I bet you there's not a single person that was in... Oh, Benet Nishio was in Traffic,

but everyone else was not in Traffic. Wasn't Johnny Depp... Oh, that was Blow. I confused those. They're both drugs. That's why I won't party with you. Because you've confused Traffic and Blow. And we end up just sitting on a highway.

That was excellent. That was an A+. We got to play one more round, right? What happened? What just happened? Did Pete get a point somehow? I got a point. It's all even.

Apologies to put your hands together. We're going to wrap this up quickly. Who's up next? Who didn't get involved in that? Who asked you to name it? You asked him to name it? I asked him to name it. Okay, so Werner gets to go first.

I hear the murmur of Werner. Okay, so Werner, then Pete, then Beck, and Werner gets to pick a category. Would you like Ski Fall? That's movies where James Bond goes skiing. Okay, so Werner, then Pete, then Beck, and Werner gets to pick a category. Would you like Ski Fall? That's movies where James Bond goes skiing. Right to Bear Small Arms. That's movies that have the Tyrannosaurus Rex in them.

Or at ah underscore lawn underscore ah, A-HH suggested Dolphin Lundgren. And that's movies with a dolphin, Dolph Lundgren, or both. Of these worthy categories, I will choose Ski Fall. Alright. Somebody's trying to win. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy.

Now I can't find the category. Where'd it go? Where are you, Ski Fall? Oh, shit. Further apologies to Put Your Hands Together. I can't take the pressure. Would you like a movie where

James Bond is skiing from 1969 or 1977? Funniest year. 1969. Nice. He did pick the funniest one. Yeah. Of those two.

Three and a half stars from Leonard for this 1969 movie where James Bond goes skiing. He says that this one is okay.

Capital O, capital K, so I don't know why he's yelling. And he says, incredible action sequences. Interesting. I'll even read the whole sentence,

because I don't even understand it. Incredible action sequences take first chair. What does that even mean? He is comparing the elements of the film to a symphony orchestra and saying that the action sequences are so much better than other elements that they would, if they were a violin player, for example,

be seated in the first chair. English is a really wonderful language and I urge you all to investigate it. Familiarize yourself with Rosetta Stone. The expression first chair does come up right away when learning English. You got me. Oh, shit.

So now we all know what that means. I still don't know why he said it that way. But you get how many names, Werner? I thought you were going to tell me. What? How many names are there? Sorry, Werner. I don't believe you have informed me

how many names there are from which to choose. Oh, that's where we're at. Okay. He's Rosetta Stone. This is me trying to hurry. This is like the fast version. A lot of my best punchlines were talked over tonight And I don't like that a lot What do you mean by talked over?

Like the show kept going? I'm gonna light you on fire I swear to God Things that needed to be said There are Ten names Oh god And a ghost Ten names and a ghost are ten names. Oh, God.

And a ghost. Ten names and a ghost. There's a creaky door in the back that the listeners won't have heard, but that was scary. I can name that movie in zero names and one ghost. You do realize True Lies is not a Bond movie.

I think it is established that I'm the one who knows nothing here, Pete. So, good burn. Oh, my God. That insult should definitely take second or third chair. Oh my god That insult should definitely take Second or third chair Well Mr. Herzog

Regardless of the number you selected I was going to insist that you name it Because the drama between selected, I was going to insist that you name it. Because the drama between Beck and I is over. Yeah. And between Doug and I is over. Even before it had begun. And it only remains between you and I,

the two point holders. Tell us the name of this movie, Werner. Is the name of this film... Oh, first, The Ghost. Do you want to name the ghost first You want to name the ghost first? I will name the ghost. Who is the ghost? The funky phantom. As you know, I can't say yes or no until you say the name of the film.

You are bound by the rules. I believe the film is On Her Majesty's Secret Service. That is correct. I was dying. I was so hoping I'd get the chance at some point to say to you tonight, no, Sferatu.

But I didn't get to do that. It was sad. I don't get it. A lot of the laughs have been... Could George come up here and give me a shithead to write down? Is there one on the box? No, no one on the box. Hey, George.

And Jessica, there's no shithead on the back of that dog, is there? On the back of the name tag. Okay, so tear the name tag off back and hand that over to me. We got a shithead on the back here. Oh, she really disguised it nicely. What? Okay. Okay, All right.

These are interesting shitheads. Anything to plug, Pete? Yeah. Okay, we're out of time. My special Nice Try the Devil premieres on May 12th on Comedy Central, 11 p.m. Yay! Thank you.

And podcast fans should listen to You Made It Weird. Yeah. Love stealing some of that audience, Doug. We made it weird movies. Almost famous. Oh, that's right. You and I. Yeah.

Beck, one of the things I like about your AT&T commercials is that there's... That was real. That wasn't a bit. That new ones keep coming out. Are there going to be more of those? Yeah, there are going to be more. Nice. There are going to be like six or eight more.

And it was cool. Did you have fun when you did the one with all the basketball players? Yeah, it was awesome. All the classic basketball players? Crazy. They were huge.

Yeah, you must have been like, why the fuck? How did this happen? Yeah, it was very surreal. Magic Johnson was really nice. They were all really nice, but Larry Bird was very scary. He's an intimidating man.

Interesting. Yeah. He's got the glare white on white crime there yeah in one of the commercials I go to hug him

and before we did that he was like nobody's hugging me the director the director offered it and he was like he was like if you want to hug him

come over and do it yourself he was kind of joking in his basketball player way you know I guess you know He was like, if you want to hug him, come over and do it yourself. He was kind of joking in his basketball player way, you know, I guess. You know. Sure. It wasn't that intense, but it was kind of. Because you hugged him anyway. No, I didn't. I was scared to hug him.

I went to hug him, but I didn't grab him. Okay. Did you move very slowly, hoping the director would call cut before you made contact? Yes, exactly. That's exactly what happened. A game of chicken. What do you got coming up, Warner? I am working on a reboot of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening,

but it will be done right this time. And I'm directing How I Met Your Mother. Oh, and Beck, how can people see? You've got lots of comedy on the internet people can see, right? What's the name of your group that you're in? Good Neighbor. Yeah, there you go. Check out goodneighborstuff.com or on YouTube.

Well, thank you to all you gentlemen for being here. And can you come back again next week, Werner? Let me check my schedule. Check your schedule and let me know. You can tell me after if you want. I can tell you right now. So powerful. No.

Let me see if I can rearrange something. Yeah, move some things around. I'll move some things around. Wait, the winner gets invited back? Yeah. When I won, you didn't invite me back. See how life is? You're right, Warner. Nature is hatred.

This is like an outtake from one of Beck's commercials. Yeah, you're learning stuff. It's good. It's something I just started doing recently, and you're of course eligible tonight, but you didn't win, so we'll see you again in like six or seven months. I'll see you in two weeks when TJ bails.

Yeah, when somebody cancels, that's a different thing. You're going to get the call, of course. You're one of my best people. It ended sweet. Thanks to everybody, and especially to put your hands together, because we went extra long tonight. And as always, soap actor Steve Burton

is a shithead. Parentheses, who quit General Hospital for rival soap, the young and the restless. So I can understand, Jessica, why... why you would... that would be...

And... hope and change is a shithead. Huh. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him foggy. The range is a shithead.