Doug Loves Movies - Pete Holmes, DC Pierson and Dylan Gardner guest

Episode Date: April 6, 2015

Doug welcomes comedians Pete Holmes and DC Pierson and singer-songwriter Dylan Gardner to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, sweet and baby sticky sweets With 50 as a top or colonel in his feet There's still not one that he won't sleep Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is I Love Movies. Once again, coming to you from the very harmonious Nerd Melt showroom

in the back of Meltdown Comics, the hottest spot in town, literally and figuratively. It's Sunday, April 5th, Easter Sunday, you guys. That didn't stop you from coming out to the show. 2015, did I say that? Let me see your name tags, if you don't mind me taking a glance at them. Whoa, this has some sort of power cord on it? It's a Ghostbusters trap. It's a Ghostbusters trap.

It's a Ghostbusters trap on it, because your name is Andy. That's true. Okay. I figured that one out. 30 Peeps or Leslie. What does that mean? We're sticking to the Easter thing. It's an Easter thing.

It's 30, my name's Leslie, 30 Minutes or Less. Oh, 30 Minutes or Less was the original poster? Yeah. But you put peeps on Aziz and the other guy's, his heads. Yeah, I saw it. So I didn't know what movie that was. It's like, what the hell is 30 Peeps or Leslie? Good job, though.

I like the Easter theme. We'll see if any of my guests get into that. Oh, there's a light up one back there. A couple lit up ones. So this might get noticed back there. Yeah, good job. What does that one say? What does it keep blinking about?

Yeah, Jimmy. And then what's up in the corner? Like a little Godzilla or something? It's a projector. It's a projector. It's a projector. Great eyesight, Doug. Whenever I go to the movies, I'm like, start the Godzilla.

And when I'm in Japan, look out for that projector. All right, Jimmy, you can put it down now. I'm going to have a seizure. What was the last movie you saw, Jimmy? The last movie I saw last night was... Thanks for repeating the question. I re-watched The Edge. The Edge with Alec Baldwin?

Correct. Anthony Hopkins? Correct. Anthony Hopkins? Correct. A bear? Correct. I think that bear is in a ton of movies, too. I think that bear was also in The Great Outdoors. Bart the Bear.

And Bart the Bear, yeah, there you go. And you watched it again because you're already a fan of it? I like David Mamet. Do you like Mamet? I especially love Mamet when he's in his natural environment, the jungle. Next

Doug Loves Movies in LA will be the free show this Tuesday night, April 7th at 7 o'clock sharp at UCB. That's going to be a good one. It's going to be a cast episode. The cast of something is going to be there.

And the next taping here at Nerd Melt is Saturday, April 25th, 420-ish. You guys know how that works. Also, Tuesday, Getting Doug with High goes live again at 2.15 Pacific Time. And I'll be on at midnight tomorrow night. And Thursday, I'm at the Georgia Theater in Athens, Georgia.

Douglas Movies is returning to Cobbs in San Francisco on Sunday, April 19th. DouglasMovies.com for all the dates, deets, and links. And then, from the corrections department, it is The Lord of the Rings. I was so confident

there was no the, no one really argued with me on it. I was just like, there's no the. But there is, on all three of them. The Hobbit as well. And then Super High Me is not available for streaming on Netflix currently. I don't know if they're going to bring it back or not.

But if you put it in your queue and if you're one of those people that still has them send you discs, you can get Super High Me that way. I still do. I still like to be having five movies in my backpack at the same time that I never get around to watching. But I just like having them available. Prize bag.

Oh, there's so much stuff. There's multiple bags. There's a Schmoovie, of course. There's a Doug Loves Movies T-shirt. And's a schmovie, of course. There's a Douglas Movies t-shirt, and then a bunch of stuff that my guests brought. So let's just get them out here. We've got two old bees and a new bee.

Please give a big warm welcome to D.C. Pearson, Dylan Gardner, and Pete Holmes! Movies Doug loves movies And we start every show with the Doug Creed What did you all chant at the beginning? I haven't seen that before Pete was very disturbed by it.

I didn't like it. It must be a few years now they've been chanting this is Doug Loves Movies right there. It felt like going clear. It's a little bit culty. I agree with that. Do it again. It's a cult that they want to do it. I don't, you know, if one week

people stop doing it, I wouldn't insist on it. I like your style and overall feel. And how could Pete Holmes come on the show and not win the Pete Holmes Award? Yay! Which is given out on almost every episode to the person who speaks before spoken to. Is that right?

I am honored. And I'd like to just take this moment to tell you how deeply moved I am that there's an award-based After Bay, and I will earn it today, Douglas. I will earn it. Yeah, you already did. You already did all that was required.

You came out and just started talking. Douglas. Started singing, even. Movie. Yeah. This is Dylan. He's movie. This is Dylan. He's in a band called Dylan. Dylan Gardner.

Yeah, he's a solo act. And so far, up until right now, I just broke the Pete Holmes running of the champion for rule of talking before I'm spoken to. But how's it going, everybody? I spoke to you, Dylan. We just spoke of you. Yeah, that's cool. Oh.

I guess, yeah. Here he is, everybody. First time guest, Dylan Gardner. Give it up for him. We were saying backstage it needs a little pizzazz. The name of this band is Dylan Gardner. You think he needs an and the something? Yes!

Pete and I were trying to pitch young stuff to connect with the youth. We were thinking like Dylan and the Snapchats. Or maybe, you know, Dylan 5000 Experience. Dylan 5000 Experience, that's good. That sounds psychedelic. Maybe Xperience? We can up the number, too.

We don't have to stick to 5000. Yeah, why not? We're making it up. 7000. Dylan Gardner and the gnomes. Ooh, it's a play on the Gardner thing. That's good. Whoa! I didn't get it.

I didn't get it. I just thought gnomes was a fun choice. Doug gets 5% of my publicity. Well, Pete Gnomes would say that. Ah! Wow, Pete Gnomes. Yeah, Pete Gnomes is here, everybody. I got the dick the size of a gnome. Like a fully grown gnome. Wow, Pete Gnomes. Yeah, Pete Gnomes is here, everybody.

I got the dick the size of a gnome. Like a fully grown gnome. It's a heavy thing. It has arms and a hat. I was going to say, you don't want a dick the size of a gnome's dick. Nope. But you do want, as a human, a dick the size of a full gnome. Gnome you don't. Sorry.

Oh, gnome you didn't. Gnome. Already the best podcast. That's my David the Gnome reboot for 2015. Oh, no, you didn't. I think Dylan and the Oh, Gnome, you didn't. All right, you know, we can go with that. I don't want to talk to Warner Brothers, but, you know,

if you guys want some publishing or anything, we can work something out. Do we have to speak to all of the brothers, or could we talk to one, maybe have the others on speaker? DC Pearson's here, everybody. D.C. Pete. D.C. Pete. D.C. Pete.

And that name is terrible, Pete, so don't make him use it. D.C. Pete? No, that name you just said about the gnomes, he didn't. Oh, yeah, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. But D.C. Pete. What's that stand for? Donald Charles Pearson.

Diet Coke Pepsi? That's like a twist. You're like, Diet Coke, I see what family of products we're in. Pepsi? What? Threw me for a loop. Full flavor at that. Somebody's holding an array of Diet Coke. They go, Diet Coke? Pepsi?

That's your name. So I'm like a short, shitty vine, is what you're saying. One guy goes Diet Coke, the other guy goes Pepsi. Dylan Gardner and the Six Second Songs. There we go. That loop forever. Yeah, I mean, I'll rewind your album. We have a pretty long career. You know, the album would be a good two minutes long.

Hey Pete, why don't you close up the Idea Factory for Easter Sunday? Take a day off. They work hard at the Idea Factory. I bet you ever watched those little Beatle documentaries and Brian Epstein was like, and then you guys should have blonde hair. Did he really say that they should have blonde hair?

No, but that's why he stayed their manager. Oh, right. He didn't say that. No, but they didn't have Pete at the wheel. They could have had some better ideas Look if it weren't for guys like me That'd still be called the Oneeders That's actually my favorite movie of all time Thank you very much

That thing you do Oh man Of course Mind reader over here And a good band name The Beatles would have stayed Johnny and the Moon Dogs Yeah well the Beatles The first smart thing they did was they kicked a guy named Pete out of the band.

Very nice. Have you been to the movies lately, Pete? I have. What'd you see, man? I'll answer that with a question. Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was furious. Don't beat me to it.

That guy was just going to give the normal answer because Seven ain't nine. I can't believe I didn't get a good laugh. I saw Furious Seven. Makes me so mad that in my mind that got a really big laugh. It was good. It's just social conditioning.

Strength is good Women are sex It's Vin Diesel's had the same message Two movies in a row Family We are Groot Fast is good

Furious is good Did you like it though? I did like it It was fun It's insane right? It was a fun time at the movies It's like every other scene It's somebody going Well we're gonna drive fun time at the movies. It's like every other scene is somebody going,

well, we're going to drive off of this thing, so put on your helmet or hang on. Right. And it's all just like, let's just see what happens when we drive off of this thing. And you don't have to pay attention at all. Unlike that Lincoln piece of shit. Yeah, well...

Finally, Pete says what we're all thinking, that Furious 7 has more fast cars than Lincoln Although in Lincoln he was on the front of a dream train at the beginning If you'll remember Oh yeah That thing was going pretty fast Yeah Who do you think wins in a race?

Vin Diesel's fastest muscle car or Lincoln's dream train? Okay, hear me out Dylan Dylan and Lincoln's dream trains Dylan and the Lincoln dream trains. Not bad. There we go. Lincoln's a car company. ADCP.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. No, man, because seven was furious. Oh, jeez. I don't know why I used that accent, but... I was doing it as ludicrous. Oh, okay. Because seven was ludicrous.

How about as Tyrese? Seven's ludicrous. He has confused the whole movie. It's like, what? We're taking the cars away? That was his audition.

Tyrese, his job on the team is to be the smooth talker that gets things done and convinces people to do things. And he never helps. He never helps. He never helps in any way.

And in this last one, he's suddenly a really good driver. He's got some amazing driving. He does. And Ludacris can fight now, too. Spoiler. And The Rock is in the hospital most of the film. Well, I don't think you should tell people that. Don't act like you were going for the plot.

He comes back. It does look like the most eventful trailer I have seen in the last couple years. You watch this thing for five seconds. Vin Diesel's driving through a dentist office and then suddenly he's at the Beatles at Shea Stadium and then suddenly

there's two ladies fighting in cocktail gowns. There he is. Yeah, one of them's Ronda Rousey. Yeah. And she doesn't win the fight with an arm bar, strangely enough. Is it too late to put the DeLorean in Fast and the Furious? No, because

it's the DeLorean. It's never too late with the DeLorean. Just get it up to 88 and put it wherever you want. We're going to Abu Dhabi. Can I pitch you guys a character that I won't be able to... We don't need roads.

We'll drive from building to building. A character that my friends and I came up with that I can't find a place for anywhere, so I'll just say it on this podcast. That way it'll live somewhere. The character is called Dox Brown, and it's just Doc Brown who's just been doxed. So he's just always bursting into the room. Marty, they doxed me!

1.21 terabytes of data, Marty! What is doxed? Doxing is... Well, now that I've mentioned it on a podcast, I will get doxed. But doxing is like when cyber terrorists, in order to enforce their will upon you, find out personal information about you and then leak it to the internet. And so Doc Brown is freaked out about that. Oh. Yeah.

I thought it was. Dylan and the Doxes. Dylan and the Doc Martens? Maybe Dylan. Dylan and the Docs Martens. I am. Docs Martens. It really confuses you. How old are you? You am. Docs Martens. It really confused you.

How old are you? You're a young man. 18. You're an 18-year-old and you've referenced Back to the Future. The Beatles several times. That Thing You Do,

which came out in 1999. That's weird. He doesn't look like a nerd at all. It's a podcast. He doesn't look like he'd be smart and into stuff.

I was trying to explain the world of Laserdiscs. I actually am a pretty heavy collector of Laserdiscs. I'm trying to explain why the last thing we said before we went on stage was the last movie I watched on Laserdisc was My Cousin Vinny. Here's the general rule about Laserdiscs. You've got to be able to freeze frame when you're watching that movie just to kind of catch your breath. Oh, of course. It's amazing.

Thank God Laserdiscs came along. I stand by a couple of rules with Laserdiscs. You have to get either an amazing action movie. Let's say Furious 7. That would be a great Laserdisc movie. Or you get something like Nine Months with Hugh Grant. When you're playing Magic the Gathering, spoiler, I play Magic the Gathering, and you need some background noise.

You either need Nine Months, or let's... Sorry, Dylan, spoiler for what? I can't believe the day I heard that Dylan plays Magic the Gathering. Was that going to be the end of Star Wars? I really spoiled it when he said that. And you need backgrounding. Was that going to be the end of Star Wars? I really spoiled it when he said that.

And you need background noise. It's a life spoil. Isn't the jocks yelling, Nerds! Isn't that enough? Isn't the fizzing of your retainer in the Effordent glass enough? Those are two excellent riffs. That's why you play in your mom's basement, though.

I bet Magic's a really fun game. It is a very fun game. You get very into it. You lose friendships. It's Monopoly for grown-ups. Yeah. I'm very old, aren't I? Is there a little dog character?

Oh, gosh. I mean, you know, there's angels, demons. You can be whatever you want to be. Goblins. You know, lots of stuff, Lots of different classes. It's Monopoly for grown-ups. So Monopoly, the game about high finance and buying real estate.

That's for children. The one about goblins. Grow up and get some goblins, why don't you? Get some gnomes in here. You're goddamn 45. A very good riff. A very good riff. A very good riff.

Pete Gnomes, what did you bring for the prize bag? What is this? I did a corporate show for Comcast and they gave me that notebook. And then I wrote at the beginning, I said genius goes here, so you can write your genius, and then I drew a cat person.

A very good try, sir. Which is a cat that is a person. Alright, so that's a book with no words in it, so you'll have plenty of time to read DC's book, Crap Kingdom, which is also in the prize bag. Oh, it's your book? Yeah. You wrote it? He's written a couple of books, Pete.

Novels. Pete Holmes published novels. Novels? Yes, novels at that. Crap Kingdom and The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To. Novels, Pete Holmes. Published. Novels. Published novels. Novels. Yes, novels at that. Crap Kingdom and The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep and Never Had To. Novels. Yes, novels. You like to read again, man. Does writing a book count as reading one? I've never finished a book, but if I wrote one, they'd be like, he had to have read this.

He wrote it. Oh, because you were saying that. No. Yeah, I guess. That's like having children. Like, you've definitely read two books. Oh, you're saying, like, when you have kids, people are like, you've at least had sex twice. And you've read two books.

Right. And then I had sex with the books. Well, I'm assuming that's why the middle pages are blank and lubricated. Now, Dylan brought a whole bunch of stuff for the prize bag. Like, a whole separate bag. Do you know what all is in there? Yes and no. I decided to... Well, let's see.

Doug falls rudely. I'm clumsy, but I never go all the way. I never fall all the way down. You're such a tumble prude. Yeah. So let's see. Interesting down. You're such a tumble prude. Interesting story. I get a call a couple days ago.

That's what I mean. The dreamboat. I get a call a couple days ago. That looks like a variety of acid. My landlord dies. I get 30 days to move out of my house So I take everything That I can see No my landlord died

No I can still play magic I can still play magic Good night Pete Good night No one even laughed It's so good It's like 3 in the afternoon These are not my working hours

That was excellent The listeners loved it, Pete. I bet. Don't worry about the folks that are here ignoring you. Dylan, keep going, my friend. I'm sorry. Your landlord died. So, yeah, we have 30 days to move, right? So, we have to get everything

out of the house in 30 days. So, I decided to bring a bunch of CDs, a couple of my vinyls of my album that came out. If anyone collects vinyl like I do, like I collect Laserdisc bunch of CDs, a couple of my vinyls of my album that came out. If anyone collects vinyl like I do, like I collect Laserdiscs or anything, that is Muse. Some good records. And that is, of course, that's a Dylan Garner and the Snapchats, the new name. This is going to be one of those things where then I listen to your music and I love it.

And I'm like, I can't believe I made fun of your dead mom. Like, I just know it if I had a nickel for every time so I made fun of my dead mom wait uh you said you're a little bit like fun a little bit like fun I mean we're both uh from around the the Arizona like area and uh we have the same we go through the same Paul McCartney-Sneech's machine of songwriting, of the super melodic appreciation and super energetic. Well, we have standing by a little bit of one of your songs. Would everybody like to hear a little bit of what Dylan's music sounds like? Do you know which one this is, Dylan? I would assume it's the first single called Let's Get Started. Here it is. Let's Get Started. Here it is.

Let's Get Started. It's like the worst remake of Wayne's World. I like that. Don't leave me. It's like the worst remake of Wayne's World. Come on, let's get started. Let's get started. I like that. Yeah. Hi. Thanks, you guys. I like it.

It's like a fun, fun montage song. We were all bobbing our heads. It was a good montage. We couldn't stop. You know what I mean? I feel like we're in Act 3 of the movie. Yeah. It's like, Pete, I knock a beer out of your hand, and I'm like, we got to save the frat

house. And we're mopping and painting. And the dean is like, they're all right. That wasn't bad, DC. That was not bad. Thanks, Pope of Riffs. Do you play an instrument? I'm playing everything on the record, basically.

I'm playing guitar, drums, bass, piano, singing. I co-produced it, and it's also recorded in my bedroom. We made it independently and put it up on Spotify. The album got over two million plays just within a couple months. Oh, wow. Warner Brothers called, and now I'm on Warner Brothers. And if you're recording and we're not doing bits, and Warner Brothers called, and now I'm on Warner Brothers. And if you're recording,

oh, we're not doing bits? You'd rather applaud than hear my riff? Okay, that's fine. Hey, way to go. That's probably a good call. This audience knows what they're doing. And if you record in your bedroom, you can take ample masturbation breaks.

Right there in the studio. Bam! Right on the bass. How'd you get that sound out of the kick drum? No comment. No comment. No comment. Also, um... Comment? Comment? There we go.

I'm not gonna say it. I like your sound. Thank you very much. I think you should leave Warner Brothers. They don't... Who do they got? T.I.? Come on. Who do they got? You've referenced the Beatles a number of times.

They were on Capitol. They were on Parlophone, which Warner Brothers distributes. Oh. Oh. Oh. I just got UK'd. Music industry. You got UK'd.

I mean, that's the... You got UK'd, DCP. I did. I did. And I got a ticket. I got a ticket. You got a ticket to ride. How long did it take to write the album? About six months. Six months? Yeah. I write... Is it about a breakup?

Is it one of those betraying? It's like sounds happy, but you're like, you fucking bitch, you broke me. You said the handjobs would be forever. Okay, Dylan Gardner and the permanent handjobs. Oh! That's pretty good. And the sails have gone through the roof.

You know how sometimes people hang a CD up from their rearview mirror? You should do that with a laser disc. Wait, who hangs a CD from their rearview mirror? You're going to get blinded. A lot of people do. It's dangerous, yeah. That's the first thing Vin says to the crew.

He's like, tear down the CDs from your rearview mirrors. This one's for all the marbles. We're not fucking around here, Tyrese. What? How do I turn the windshield wipers off? The blinker won't shut off then.

Family. Alright, so... Family. Family. See it in the theater. Lots of hoots and hollers. A shirt that says, Weed the people.

You mean get rid of the shitty people? It's very... Is that an Illuminati t-shirt? Get rid of the shitty people? Like weed them out? Yeah, weed them out. Pick the low-functioning mongoloids and get them out of here. Is that what it says on the back of that shirt?

One-third the population. Human slaves. Is that one of your albums? Yeah. No. A lot of totalitarian imagery from you, Pete Holmes. Yeah. Are you projecting?

Are you formulating your next move as a sort of separatist movement? My goal is to get big enough where I'm approached by the Illuminati. And you're a fool if that's not your goal, too. Old two books. How do you think it happens? What happens? How do you get approached by the Illuminati? Well, it's exactly like his Warner Brothers story,

but it's a more powerful person. I was actually informed by a sixth grader at a high school that I played this week that I am very good and I should watch out for the Illuminati. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. I'm not joking. I was actually told to watch out for the Illuminati, so I'm currently in hiding. That's why I'm moving.

No, man. Get in. Embrace it. Get in. He was like, hey, watch out for the Illuminati and also cooties. All right, see you later, man. It's like, man, watch out for the Illuminati and also cooties. All right, see you later, man. I was like, man, sixth grader, really? Is this your retainer fizzing in the effort, Dan? Or should we put on a laser disc?

You got to remember that the Illuminati are often closer than they appear. If you were in the Illuminati, this is my reaction. That's nice. Did you say a movie that you've seen lately, Pete? Did you say one? Yeah, Why Was Six Afraid of Seven. Oh, that's right.

Dad, I don't think I want to join the Illuminati anymore. You don't have to. Seven. Seven. Seven was furious. What do you think

they're going to call the next one? They're acting like this is the last one, but they'll make another one. It made $124 million this weekend. Furious 8 and the gnomes. Ninth highest opening of a motion picture of all time for Furious 7. What about

Ocho Rapido? Ocho Rapido. International appeal. That'd be pretty sweet. Ocho Rapido. Appeal That's pretty sweet Yeah I think that's great The movie is for everybody Most of the dialogue Is vrooming and vrooming The international language of

There were Japanese people there There were Mexican people Everybody was just like We get it We understand what's happening I mean where do we go now? We've been in air. Do we go to space for number eight?

No, you just keep reheating it. You're just like, do the donuts the other way, Tyrese! Ah-hey! What if they just go really low stakes and do all shit you do in the parking lot in high school? We gotta do burnouts until we save

the president. We're shooting stop signs until the Congress gets our bill passed. I interviewed pretty much everybody in part six, and I asked them, I want to see if you know the answer, I said, were those your feet? You know, they always show the feet on the clutch. Definitely not their feet.

You don't think it was their feet? No. On set, they're just like, stunt feet! Why would they make the actor sit in a hot car just to get a shot of their shoes? I don't think that was their feet. You think the stunt feet guy wears his sunglasses indoors when he goes everywhere? He just thinks he's amazing. Do you even know my resume? I was stunt feet in nine months.

I was stunt feet. I was the foot in Monty Python. He's in the foot Illuminati you go to the back of the footlocker and you pull down a very specific Jordan it rotates I did all the painting in my left foot their queen is Zuma Thurman yes

shut it down power down the riff factory we can't make no better riffs. I would love to hear a Bruce Springsteen song about Pete working in the Riff Factory. Working in the Riff Factory. Everybody's gone home.

But he's got a slide whistle. That guy probably pays his rent off the Tough Actin' commercial, man. Tough Actin' Tenactin commercials, man. Tough Actin' Tenactin. Another reference you shouldn't get. What's next? Nuprin? What the fuck is going on? You were born in 2014.

Tenactin is still a thing, Pete. Nuprin? No, but Tenactin. Your first example. Television. Your springboard. Tenactin is more relevant than ever. More relevant than ever. That. Your home. Your springboard. Tenecton is more relevant than ever. I've moved on to Newport. More relevant than ever. That's their slogan.

It's a little defensive, Tenecton. Tenecton's more relevant than ever. Gosh darn it. We're never going to get rid of feet. You need it more than you think. You can't put feet in the cloud. They're just incredibly defensive. How are you going to upload your feet?

There's no app for your feet. It's more like the Tenecton executive talking to his 14-year-old daughter. I don't know why they're not all laughing too. I'm just thinking of Don Draper just going like you can't upload your feet. Okay, last product Don Draper pitches on Mad Men. Go.

Fast and the Furious 8. It's called Ocho Rapido. Cue music. It's not a track. It's a carousel. It's as best I could do. It's a lazy... I thought it would all be riffing.

I didn't know that would be the closing riff. It's just a lazy season. Would you just sat back? You're like, DC, pee out. Hang Pete out to dry with this one. Yeah, that's fine. Sandbag him with this riff. I can't wait to edit this episode.

Dude, you can't edit the episodes. Have you been to the movies, Dylan? Oh, gosh. Let's see. Did I ask you already? No, you've asked Pete twice, though. Pete, what was the last movie you saw? 3-8-4?

I'll answer with a joke Why was 6 the greatest ever? Because 7 was furious You're going to need a DeLorean to edit this episode What do you think? You edit this friendship over The last movie I saw in theaters was Whiplash Great movie

Very similar to Furious 7 Very similar to Furious 7. Very similar to Furious 7. A little less bongo drums maybe. I don't know. There was no upskirt shots. The thing about Whiplash, I felt it was so good that was it J.K. Simmons? He's so

good that you actually get genuinely mad at him. You're just, you actually feel like you're, like you know, it's not like most movies you know, you're aware that you're get genuinely mad at him. You actually feel like you're... It's not like most movies, you're aware that you're watching a film. And when we were in here, we were just like, I can't believe that.

I can't believe you would treat somebody like that. Were you rushing or were you dragging? I had one major plot hole, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it does not take three minutes to rent a car in New York. I mean, if people... Right. if people have seen Rip Lash, this kid rents a car like he was picking up Fast and the Furious 7 on Blu-ray DVD release. And, you know, suddenly, yeah, spoiler alert.

It takes about four hours with no reservation. With no reservation and, you know, I mean, how old do you have to be to rent a car? How old is that kid? Exactly. You have to be 25 and also... Was that kid 25? He was not 25.

He was rushing, he was dragging, but was he 25? And also, Dylan just called Miles Teller a kid. I'm a child as well. That was entertaining.

Miles Teller is the drummer boy? Yeah. Dylan, can I pitch you a bit? Can I pitch you a bit? That was the original title of the movie. This is is the drummer boy? Yeah. Dylan, can I pitch you a bit? That was the original title of the movie. This is J.K. Simmons, Magic the Gathering coach.

Are you ready? Right, okay. Were you rushing? Or were you dragging? Oh! I feel like we can all do a J.K. Simmons. I've never tried it. You can hear it though, right? Come on. Give it to better. So he's Buffalo Bill from Silence of the

Lambs? Was it a great big fat beat? Did you know, why are you running? Do you want some farmer's insurance? Riff Factory. Riff Factory. Riff Factory.

Put the fucking pictures of Spider-Man in the basket. Put the fucking pictures of Spider-Man in the basket. Oh, good old J. Jonah Jameson. Jonas. Do better. Trump better.

How obscure can we get with J.K. Simmons filmography Until we're just quoting that episode Of Scrubs he was on or something I think you know how deep we could go Ah Ah Ah DC if I asked you about the movies

You have not One of the last movies I watched I didn't watch it in the theaters I saw it at home this week It was The Spectacular Now Also starring Miles Teller So I'll go with that theme And I thought it was spectacular

Wow That's what I'll say That movie was not good You don't like it? No no no I'm not asking It's not like my opinion It's objectively not a good movie

Spectacular Now? Oh I loved it I couldn't disagree more. No, you're wrong. I thought it was like a very organically paced, well-acted teen movie. It was critically praised. The Shailene Woodley is always great. I would take every critic that liked that movie five minutes alone with me.

They'll see my film. Okay, what's your beef, Pete? It's like a study in how much charisma John Cusack has. Like, you can't just be like, you don't think Miles Teller's charismatic? I think he's intensely charismatic in that movie. No, he's doing an impression of an interesting person. It's not good. He's not actually interesting.

I don't mean to shit on the kid. He's very talented, obviously. I didn't like him in that movie. Miles Teller's been called an impressionist and a kid in the last eight minutes. We apologize to Teller. No, I like him. I'm on board. Miles Teller's been called an impressionist and a kid in the last eight minutes. We apologize to Teller. I'm on board. Why did you care about him? I feel like I know that kid

that he's being in that movie where he's so charismatic and I felt that he was that everybody's like, you can keep fucking up. You'll figure it out, man. It's fine. All the grown-ups in his life

are like, he'll get it together. Look how funny he is. I understand that. He had a tough upbringing too, Miles Teller. I don't know if you know his backstory, but he was raised by a mute magician named Teller. Oh, it was worth it.

You know what? It's always worth it. You have to take those opportunities. His ta-da-da? Ta-da-da? Riff Factory! Hocus Pocus, Pete. We need to play some games, you guys. We need to play some games.

Do you mind if we play some games, Pete? Let's play some games. Yeah, I don't mind. Okay. Let the games begin. Lots of folks made name tags Everybody on stage except for me Needs to pick one that they're going to

Play for So physically get up and go Choose the name tag you'd like to Represent today And while you do that we'll do this We'll be right back After these messages from my mouth Hey everybody The wait is finally over that we'll do this we'll be right back after this these messages from my mouth hey everybody the

wait is finally over baseball season is here at last and the excitement continues all season long at draftkings.com the official daily fantasy partner of major league baseball daily fantasy means no season-long commitments just instant cash cash, instant gratification. Why wait until the end of the season to claim victory when you can win huge cash every day? At DraftKings, it's like a brand-new season every time you play. Just select two pitchers and eight position players, stay under the salary cap, and you could be on your way to an enormous payday. Last year, Peter from Colorado, let million bucks at DraftKings in one day just playing fantasy baseball.

Hundreds of thousands of fantasy sports fans like you have already cashed in at DraftKings. Now it's your turn. Hurry to DraftKings.com and enter promo code MOVIE to play for free. You can win part of the $300 million in prizes being awarded this season. Use promo code MOVIE for free entry now at DraftKings.com. DraftKings.com. That's DraftKings.com. Also sponsoring today's show, A24 presents Ex Machina,

a sci-fi thriller directed by the writer of Sunshine and 28 Days Later. The Telegraph calls it bewitchingly smart science fiction, and the Daily Mirror declares it an instant classic. Starring Oscar Isaac, Domino Gleason, and Alicia Vikander? I hope I'm saying that right. She's awesome in the movie. I've seen it. You should see it, too. X Machina opens in select theaters in New York and L.A.

on April 10th and more cities and theaters every week after. Back to the show. And we're back! Who are you playing for, DC? I am playing for Jimmy. He has a light bright and it looks like a light bright that was made in the past five years and I did not know it was still

a thing, so here we go. And this right here in the corner is Godzilla. Is it? Oh, okay. It's a little Godzilla. I didn't know that. Breathing fire out of the front. I thought it was a movie camera, but I liked it because it adapted to the space.

It was blinking in this dark, meltdown lit space and I could see it, so congrats, Jimmy. I am playing for Dr. Andy Venkman of Ghostbusters fame. I am holding this ghost catching machine which legend has it still works as I was informed a couple seconds ago.

On the back it says... You don't want to read that part. I shall not read that part. We'll save that for later. So you're playing for Andy and who are you playing for, Pete Holmes? I'm playing for Colleen Graves. That's all.

She made one that says, Killers from Space. She just was sitting very politely and I thought I'd take it. That's a nice reason to pick one. You know? Yeah. I thought Light Bright was a little on the nose.

Did she... Did she put a shithead on the back? She did. Okay. It's just a mirror. Save it. Save it. How does she know you would pick it?

She's like, I'll just sit politely. It's one thing we know about Pete Holmes. He likes a quiet person. Opposites attract. God damn it, Douglas. God damn it. God damn it, Douglas.

Let's start it off with a game I like to call How Much Did This Shit Make? Woo! Thanks, Pete. This is where I'm going to name a movie, and you guys will have to guess how much it made, and it's an entire box off.

Do you want to just make that bid right now? Do you want to wait and hear what movie we're talking about? Is it Pearl Harbor? If it was, you're way off with $50 million. If it weren't, I'm way off. If it weren't, and it isn't, you're way off it. This one isn't cast-based, so I have a chance. Like India.

Cast-based. You can't do your own woos after Tyrese does them You're gonna jump off a what? Woo! Woo! Have you seen the movie? It's fun to be Tyrese

Yeah, I have seen it It was fun to be Tyrese I haven't, but I'm going straight from this to see it Just so I can see Tyrese And I will woo in the it. It was fun to be Tyrese. I haven't, but I'm going straight from this to see it, just so I can see Tyrese. And I will woo in the theater. I don't care what anyone says. Oh, yeah. It's a wooing movie. It's a fun time. It's the fastest-paced Fast and Furious

movie, I think. It went by really quick for me. Critics are calling it the most furious movie of the year. And, I don't think this is a spoiler, Paul Walker's great in it. Like, it made me really happy. I'm not trying to be dark. I didn't know what... You didn't freak out whenever it was obviously

a CGI Paul Walker face on one of his brothers? No. Or you weren't like, oh, it's just for John Cusack. He's pretending to be a fast person. See, I'll riff against myself. I'll go whatever way you want.

Alright, what did it make? Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 The Squeakquel. Pete wants to play where we guess the movie and also how much it made. Like we're trying to hit a baseball with another baseball. You are a magic man. I like being around you

Because it's like being around the funniest person And then also inside of you is your own Like you brought your own friend that's not in comedy That's just like Dude, I don't know how he does it bro And they're both inside of you Warring at all times I want you to be free

I smell a third book idea And they're both inside of you, warring at all times. I want you to be free. I want you to be free. I smell a third book idea. I'm going to steal that journal and write it in there. I've never been more aptly described. Thank you, DC. All right, Doug, what's the movie? It's the first in the series of, we all know it wasn't the best The movies have gotten better

But the first, the fast and the furious The first one DC, go ahead and start the bidding Frosted tips, Paul Walker Closest without going over, right? Yeah Okay, I'm going to say I'm going to say $80. I'm going to say... I'm going to say

$80 million. I'm going to go with $65 million. Okay, Pete. We've got $80 million and $65 million. Now, if I say $81 million, do I get anything else? What? If I say 81? What, you boo that?

It's the ghost, hurry! People, people... Throw out your trap, Venkman. That was... People consider it to be a shitty move, but it's also, we are playing a game. It's a winner's game. All right, 90 million dollars. The ghost is like,

I couldn't rest until I heard the word 90. Thank you. So nice of you to give him that 10 million window for possible win. Dough. It was a dough window in case he might win. Dough.

That last dough meeting. You went with 90? Yeah, I went with 90. It has to not be a dick in thise. That last Doe meme. You went with 90? Yeah, I went with 90. It has to not be a dick in this game. That means nothing. Well, you're our winner, dick, because you made

$144.5 million. Don't underestimate the stupid international market. Just domestic, bro. Oh, really? Yeah. Don't underestimate our stupid, stupid country. Just domestic bro Oh really? Yeah Don't underestimate Our stupid stupid country

Those cars are fast Let's see it again Every high school boy Was required to see it Four times Whether you liked it or not I thought it was okay And I saw it Four times Yeah It you liked it or not. I thought it was okay, and I saw it four times.

Yeah. It was like Titanic for the bros. Yeah. Brotanic. Brotanic. That was Dylan's joke. I just said it louder. You learned a lesson here today, Dylan.

There's my high school experience right there. Oh. And so relatable. You get to go first in this next game, Pete. And then we will go to Dylan and then to DC. And then we'll just go around and around. Just like Fast and Furious. Or Rat.

Yeah. We'll just drift from topic to topic. Hey, you got my Rat joke. This is a new game that is in need of a name. I couldn't think of a good name for it. So I know Pete loves to name things. We do. So we'll see what you think it should be called.

It's like Last Man Stanton, but easier to play and yet also more complicated at the same time. Yeah, so here we go. Basically what I'm going to do is I'm going to name cast members from one particular film. Oh, it's a castism. Do you have one more

India joke locked and loaded? Dubai can't think of one. You're the worst exotic marigold hotel. Alright, so... So basically, when I get to you, I'll tell you... If you take the Yelp reviews on the best exotic marigold hotel, it was great, except for the sound of old British people just fucking all night.

Which sounds a lot like putting too much mayonnaise on a single slice of bread. Yo, man, how does he come up with that? See, he's being externalized into the meat. The three of you have a chemistry that is interesting. Doug, I have a riff.

Tyrese's pieces. I'm gonna get that chocolate and that peanut butter! Woo! And then he just runs over E.T. Ha ha ha! Oh no! Wow! It's basically just a Chappelle impression.

Wow! Or an Aziz impression. Wow! All right, Tyrese, we have to jump. No! No! Ah! Woo! All right, Tyrese, we have to jump. No! No! All right.

So all you've got to do is when I get to you, I'm going to name an actor. We're going to go through seven actors, and when it gets back to you, you have to name another person, another movie that that actor was in without repeating. And also, here's the big, big tricky part.

We're going to do it with the cast of Furious 7. All Furious 7. But you can't use other Fast and Furious movies in your answer. So this is the other films of the cast of Furious 7. All right. It wasn't their feat, by the way, for those of you who are still wondering. Somewhere out there, there's really no stunt. I think I had a pretty good reason for it not being their feat, and so that's why we moved on.

Yeah? Because I had a good explanation why it wouldn't be their feat. Yeah, I guess. Okay, here's another one for you, Pete. Vin Diesel played Groot on the set of Guardians of the Galaxy. True or false? On the... What? Okay, forget it.

I know this one, and I know who actually played him. You mean he wasn't actually there, it was just his voice? He was the stunt foot. That's how it was done, yeah. Sean Gunn, right? Gilmore Girls' Sean Gunn. Sean Gunn? James Gunn's brother.

Being right's not funny funny it's just being correct I just proved it Relative of Peter Gunn You know I'll take that That's the best one I got today That was Sean's A&R guy No one's going to hear that one on the recording I don't think

That was a deep laugh back there But it was really funny that one guy thought it was funny in the back. Just silence and then... It might have just been somebody stepping on a cheap toy. Like my punchline just hit him in the head. And he's like, huh.

Alright, we'll start with you, Pete. One of the stars of Furious 7. Okay. Jordana Brewster. Who is that? You're out. Cut his microphone for the rest of this game. Not really.

You can still say stuff. Jordana Punky Brewster? Who is that? Dylan, name another movie that's got Jordana Brewster in it. Michelle Rodriguez. Shot in the Dark. Shot in the Dark, you've got male. Okay, you're out also. This game's awesome.

You had to try. I tried to make it easier for everybody, and it got harder. I am going to just go ahead and be like, was she in Blue Crush? This is great. All three of you just lost. I have a name for the game. What they in? Wrong.

It's time to play What They In. Wrong. All right, so that was an example of how terribly this game could go. Let's start with Pete again with the next name, and we'll start again, see how it works out. Name any other movie that Vin Diesel is in. Boom. with Pete again with the next name and we'll start again see how it works out. Name any other movie that Vin Diesel is in.

Boom. Chronicles of Ridiculous. Riddick. All right. Now what I need you to do, Pete, is not add boom to the beginning of a title. And don't add ridiculous.

Don't change the words themselves in the title. Chronicles of Riddick. Is he allowed to woo his answer? Is there a thaw at the beginning of it? Yes. Yes. I wasn't asking you, audience member. Please don't do that again.

The Chronicles of Riddick. Good job. I'm going to do a play off of words off of Boom. We're going to go with Doom. What do you think is happening right now? I think Vin Diesel is in Doom. Right, but that's not the next thing. We're moving on to the next name. We're going to see how the game actually works now.

Okay. Next name. Next name, yeah. Is Ludacris. Ludacris. What is Ludacris in? Besides the past, man. Okay, this time you're really out.

DC, a movie with Ludacris in it. Oh. Yep. Ludacris is in... I also don't know. I also don't know what Ludacris is in. Besides the Fast and the Furious movies. All right, Pete wins this fucking game.

Baby! Pete got Pete got Vin Dizzle. I got Vin Dizzle. Vin Dizzle, my Dizzle. Well, if we really get going sometime, I think it could be fun. Pitch black!

We hit a fucking pothole immediately. The weird one where he was a lawyer or something oh um find me guilty it sounds like a leprechaun saying that oh find me guilty

what was the one with Ben Affleck where they were all stockbrokers oh boiler room boiler room yeah yep I like that better than Wolf of Wall Street What was the one with Ben Affleck where they were all stockbrokers? Boiler Room. Boiler Room, yeah. Yep. I like that better than Wolf of Wall Street.

JK. Oh, okay, thank God. He doesn't like Spectacular Now. He has Boiler Room and the Wolf of Wall Street in the wrong order. I was so mad. I'm going to challenge you to watch Spectacular Now again. Okay, I will. You know what?

Put me pointing a gun at your ass. That's really going to challenge you to watch Spectacular now again. Okay, I will. You know what? Put me pointing a gun at your ass. That's really going to change the experience. Because you'll be like, I'm going to shoot you. And then the other guy inside you will be like, dude, he's going to shoot you. The inside time is just like, were you rushing or were you dragging? Pete, were you expecting something spectacular to happen? Is that why you were disappointed by it? I just found him charisma-less.

Oh, wow. That's the name of my new album. Do you also find... I don't want to be on the record shitting on that kid, but I didn't like it. I thought the girl was fantastic. Shane Woodley, yeah. Yeah, she was really good.

Yeah, she was real good. So that should give the movie enough of a you know he drags it down that much I thought he was great in Whiplash yeah me too yeah

that's when I always thought he was a good actor but I always thought he was kind of saddled with roles where he just had to be kind of

a smart ass and the lines weren't that funny so he didn't come off that great but in Whiplash he's oh so you agree

kind of on Spectacular now no I mean I like that movie a lot but I didn't really come around on Miles Teller completely until Whiplash, there was a real character who was playing. Kind of on Spectacular now. No, I mean, I like that movie a lot. But I didn't really come around on Miles Teller completely until Whiplash. That's the one that made me go.

Me too. Because I sat through that awkward moment, which is just fucking awful. And it was just a shame that Michael B. Jordan got dragged into that as well. And he's a great young actor

that should be in better stuff. I know Michael B. Jordan. Zac Efron. I'm aware of him. Huh? Zac E. F.'s. Yeah, yeah. What happened to him? He's still doing great. I know Michael B. Jordan. Zac Efron. I'm aware of him. Huh? Zac E. F's. Yeah, yeah. What happened to him?

He's still doing great. He was in Neighbors. He was in Neighbors. Oh, right. Charlie Cloud. Charlie St. Cloud. It's not Charlie St. Cloud. It's about a porn star, right?

It was about uploading your feet. I mean, your instinct to clap was correct. Everyone should be applauding that. That is like a 12-minute later callback to the, you can't upload your feet. Wait, now you're giving yourself kudos for what a long period

of time went by before you brought something back? You just answered our question. The last thing Don Draper pitches, kudos, snack bars. Jesus Christ, it's fun. It's fun having fun. Capri Sun.

It's not a drink. It's a bag you pack on where you want to go. Don Draper is the one who came up with the name kudos. Can we just have a game where we try to come up with the last thing that Don Draper ever said in the board meeting? Just like, you know. I guess not. I want to join the riff.

I didn't hear the first part. I just missed the first part. If we can have a game where we come up with the very last thing that Don Draper ever pitched. Yeah. That's what I said earlier. Sterling, Cooper, Draper The Price is Right Oh there you go Perfect

Oh yeah He's gonna say that? I just did my best Oh okay Fair enough Edit that part out But keep This part

Sorry Pete Now No editing No edits That's the way to do it It's all going out there I bet your dick Leans to the left

That's it. There's a wall there or something, you know, just to rest for a second. Holding a red cup at a boring party. Is that Doug's dick leaning on that wall? Can you name another Paul Walker film besides the ones you already mentioned? Smallville, right?

No. What? What do I mean? Pleasantville. You mean Pleasantville. I heard it. Great movie. Pleasantville.

I heard it, yes, in the audience. I didn't hear it. Someone was on here. Yeah, somebody was on my... They knew what I meant. Pleasantville is a Superman thing. Superman. Smallville is a Superman thing,

Mr. Pete Holmes. Pleasant, that's right. Thank you kindly. I'm disturbed by how similarly dressed we are. I just, when I saw you, I was like, oh, I'm trying to look like a child. You guys do have similar jacket philosophies. Yeah, we do.

We're both going with the, you know, the kind of Fast and the Furious stunt feet look. Well, you look like everybody I know, which means we're all just trying, this is... We're all just trying to just get up get up every morning. You're doing it, man. He's so centered. That was a good... I know. You're all just trying to get up every morning.

Like, if I never said anything, how long would this go on for? Like, how long would you just chat about nonsense? Earlier, I turned to you to be like, oh, the game's going to continue, and I got called out for it. He was like, your body language indicates that I was just trying to get the show going.

And now I'm roped in with, oh my God, you guys, it feels like we've been here for 40 days, right? This is more laborious than the Spectacular Now.

Hey Doug, did you consider the name? Spectacular Now is a lot better than Pleasantville, I'll just say that. Pleasantville is a sack of shit. No, I disagree.

I think they're apples and oranges. It's so pretentious and fake and the rules don't apply throughout the entire movie. The rules just continually change. That was before we cared about rules. The kind of shit that you nitpick on, Pleasantville is loaded with it.

That's true. But when everything comes into color and he faints the woman, I cry every time. Did you consider the name Doug Heinesding? No. I bet your dick goes straight down. My dick?

Yeah. My dick? I bet we could find water with your dick. Well, you're gonna come in handy in California, D.C. Good thing I already live here. Yeah, my dick is sort of like something from Dune, I would say. There's like a creed you have to memorize. It's got a huge budget and it didn't make it.

A huge budget, not critically well received. Right, you're like David Lynch, maybe not a great fit for it, but it did inspire him to go and only do things he was passionate about. I think you're right, yeah. My dick is like a large failed commercial enterprise. But ultimately, it's very interesting, and then that Jodorowsky tried to make for a number of years. He tried to make my dick.

Pink Floyd almost did the soundtrack. The dick is going to be many colors. Hi, Doug. What are we doing? I'm giving you a point for at least it was a movie reference. Thank you. And I'm taking away a point for Pete for trying to go back to music references. You just don't want me to win. I do not want you to win.

Everybody listening, all the purists know, Pete won this one. How often do you win on At Midnight? I've never won. Oh, okay. It's always horse shit. I'm trying to keep it light and have fun riffing, helping bits, doing bits, laughing, breaking crisp balls. I look down at the end, I got 200 points.

I'm like the most fun guy. You get points for being fun. You should get points for being fun. What if you're a valuable midnight player in money ball terms? You're not flashy, but they actually break it down by the numbers, and it's like Pete's actually the most consistent. Yeah, that's right.

He will always get 200 points. But he's got an unattractive girlfriend. That's no confidence. That's a moneyball reference. And Pete's trying to get cast away to the Red Sox. Thanks, guys. Is that another moneyball reference? Yeah, totally.

Come on. Because they try to recruit him at the end. Great movie. Doug? My girlfriend's very attractive. Yeah, when you worked that in there, I was like, what? Didn't I just see her? She's not...

No, no, she's gorgeous. But like the funny throw, ugly girlfriend. Right, that scene at the beginning where they're... These are the things that why they don't... No bad jaw. The old scouts. The old guard. Doug?

Should I keep throwing to you like a newscaster? No. We now go live to Doug with the game, Doug. That whole movie, I was just like, why doesn't this... Because see what happens when you do that? It does not matter. Might as well just wait for me to just come in really loud and hot and insist on forcing my game on everybody.

Going first in the Leonard Moulton game. Do you want to play a game I made up? Nope. You're want to play a game I made up? Nope. You're going to like it. Oh, in that case, yes. I play this at bars all the time. All right, so let's start with a good one. All right, how many Twitter followers do they have?

Tom Cruise. Doug? Zero points. He's got 3.5 million. 3.5. DC? I'm going to say 6 million. I'm going to go with 701,000 because it's not an official account. It's a parody account.

It's an official account. Do you want to change your answer? No. DC gets it. Tom Cruise has 5.1 million. Bill Gates. That's enough. This is a good game. He tried to start his own podcast

in the middle of the park. He tried to break away. He tried to form a coup. He is the ISIS of the book, he tried to break away. He tried to form a coup. He is the ISIS of podcasting. Trying to form his own state, Bill Gates. You want to play? It's itching you.

A little bit. It's itching you. A little bit. I want to. It is enticing. Doug wants a guess, too. He's a hardliner. Huh?

Bill Gates. Okay. Oh, fucking Bill Gates. Not a parody. Tom Cruise has 5.1. Yeah. It's just... Whenever I look at how many followers somebody has, it kind of surprises me how weirdly varying it is.

But what can Bill Gates possibly be writing? His last tweet was one day ago. Also, it's kind of like a phone-a-friend. I will show you the photo. Oh, God. Oh, that's what Bill Gates does. Because the photo does sometimes tell you. Oh, he's a nerd.

I thought he was fucking Yost. Wait, is this Twitter or Grindr? What are we looking at? All right. was fucking Yoast. Wait, is this Twitter or Grindr? What are we looking at? Alright, I'll go with 3.2 million. 3.2, less than 3.2. Hey, it's me, Bill. I'm only in town for the night looking to update your user interface.

That's Bill Gates on Grindr. That's my bit. That's all I got. We've been here for four days. How much? Let's get this over with. Oh, uh, buh, all I got. We've been here for four days. How much? Let's get this over with. Oh, uh, I'm gonna say he has 10 million followers. I'm gonna go with 6.3 million.

What was yours? 10 million. You win. He has 21.1. Jesus! Why does he have 16 million more people than Tom Cruise? I don't know, baby. What is he saying? What are either of them saying that gets him into the millions? Because he's Microsoft, man.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Now I get it. What Dylan's presupposing is if you say anything like a stoner, it sounds like wisdom. You add man to it, it's a fact, man. That was the missing ingredient for the Bill Gates Tinder reference. I'm only in for one night. Sorry, I'm Microsoft. That's great.

Together, all three of us can make one good joke. That's what we're learning. And I'll probably give you a virus. Just give me a second, DC. He's charismatic. Give me a second, DC. He's charismatic. Give me a second. Doug. This game, the Lettermon game, it's me intensive.

It's got a lot of me talking in it, and I'd like to do most of the talking. Unfortunately, Pete gets to pick the first category. Yay! So he gets to participate more than I would like. But then, DC, you'll be up second, then we go to Dylan. And Pete, you can choose between

Raging Bowl, that's films where Robert De Niro smokes weed. Ooh. Go Bananas, that's movies with apes in the title. I'll give you an example. The Grand Budapest Hotel has apes in the title I'll give you an example The Grand Budapest Hotel has apes in the title

and your third option stay with us Pete you can do it Pete it made him make an ape face Wahlberg vs. Wahlberg and that's movies where It made him make an ape face. Wahlberg versus Wahlberg. And that's movies where Mark Wahlberg had more than one movie come out in the same year. The ghost of the Un-Cola-Nut guy

thinks it's very funny. I'm going to go with Raging Bull Okay It's Raging Bull Movies where De Niro smokes weed The year is 1997 Pete Three stars from Leonard

He calls this movie Leisurely paced But he also says it's got Dynamite performances all around. Yeah. And he lists nine names. I can do it with the top

three names. I'm sure that that is true, but what I need you to do is bid as if we're going to read them from the bottom. So you might want, I don't know, maybe

nine names. Zero names. Oh. DC, what are you going to do with that? I will say negative one name. Whoa! How do I settle down?

Settle down, Tyrese. I can't believe it. I can't believe it's not butter. More relevant than ever. Oh, my God. That should have gotten a standing ovation. How is he doing this? Dylan, can you go more negative?

Dylan and the more negatives. Or do you want to say D.C. Pearson named that movie? Let's go with D.C. Pearson named that movie. All right. We need the name and the top-billed person. I'm saving this time. We're not going to say whether it's right or wrong until we hear all of it.

I'm going to guess Analyze This, Robert De Niro. Whoa, that's interesting. You dove in so hard with such a wrong... such wrong-headedness. What did you think it was, Pete, when you said zero names? Jackie Brown. That's correct.

Oh, duh! Oh, my God. Dylan is on the board with one point, you guys. Wait, do I get a point? Easily one of my favorite movies. I'm so ashamed. Oh, you didn't get shit for that, Pete. Just how I like it.

This is a cool game where the person that just says do it gets a point. Yeah. That's certainly not the Achilles heel of this perfect game. What a stupid system. Now, of course, Pete is speaking from experience, because the only time he's ever won is by having other people name it. Doug, the several times I've won, it's been making people name it. That alone should make you go back to the drawing board.

But you couldn't make yourself name it when you go first. So that worked out perfectly. My plan is working. But Pete does get to pick the category again. And this time we're going to go to Dylan second.

So keep that in mind when you're strategizing. And choose between these three, Pete. Movies where Tom Hanks plays a music manager. What's that category called? Hank you very much. Hank, that could be harder than you think. We don't know what he was doing on that island all those years.

In that cut. He could have been him and Wilson trying to get it together. Have you ever been so high? I came up with a name for it. That thing you didn't. But then I was also giving away the answer. Would you like? That's what she said.

That was suggested by Nick underscore knack underscore no. Nick knack no? Nick knack no. That's what she said. Movies with a female narration. Ooh, Lord of the Rings. That's fun, right? Lord of the Rings, of course.

Idiot. It happens more than ever. I mean, the world has changed. Fast-Batch Cumber... Fast-Batch Cumberbender. Pete? That was a good joke. Fast-Batch Cumberbender Pete That was a good joke Fastbatch Cumberbender

That's movies with Michael Fassbender Or Benedict Cumberbatch And finally Martin Scorsese Martin Scorsese And that's Martin Scorsese movies And that's Martin Scorsese movies

without an R rating. Ooh. Ooh. Female Lady Talker. I'm going to go with Lady Talker Dylan and the Lady Talkers

Would you like A movie that's got a Lady Talker From 1990, 91 Or 2006 Let's go 2000 Let's go 1991 Why not? It's your area of expertise

Wait, who just picked the year? I did Okay. Why not? It's your area of expertise. Wait, who just picked the year? This one. I did. Why? Pete's the one that gets to pick. Pete's dismantling the game from the inside. Some men just want to see the show go long. How many Twitter followers does Sprite have?

Sprite! I just want to watch the game burn. Which year do you want, Pete? I want to do 91. He's our musical guest. Okay. But Dylan, you are second after Pete starts off the bidding. Two and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1991.

He says it was an Oscar winner in, it looks like, four categories. He also says that some versions of this movie feature additional footage. Yeah, I mean... Regular footage or stunt footage? You can say that about most movies. That's a shitty clue. Oh, this movie, interestingly enough, gives us no one to root for. Oh, the spectacular now.

No one to root for. Oh, come on. And Leonard lists 11 names? No one to root for with a lady talker. Yeah, 11 names. What was happening in 1991? Let's go back and think about it. Just bid.

I'm going to say, how many names? 11. 9-11. I mean, 9 out of 11. Okay, 9 out of eleven. I thought he was being German and disagreeing with you. Eleven. Nine eleven. Alright, Dylan.

In Germany, they never forget no eleven. Do you know what 9-11 is? I asked Dylan how many names. Dylan. He says nine. He says nine. Just win the game. Tell me the name of it and win.

That's an interesting strategy. I mean, don't you want to win? Don't we all want to win? Do you want to win or do you want to be right? That's the ultimate decision you have to make in life. Well, it's not peer pressure because they're not peers. Dylan's my big... I'm his big brother. You live in the basement below the basement 9 out of 11's

a lot of names Dylan so do what you gotta do let's see so we so a name of a movie from 1991 with Lady Talkers as Pete puts it, with nine names.

You would be making him name it with nine, or you would have to say eight or less. Or seven. Or six. Six, five, four, three. So many options. I would need five. He's saying five names, DC. I, DC. I

oh Name that movie. Okay, DC. If he names it, then you know, that means he's the winner. I know. It's quite a risk. But it'll be more of a thrill than me not knowing what this movie is. I didn't even know movies existed in 91 just cause they didn't have them

in that cult that you were in thank you Doug that's called joining the rest everyone else just let it simmer your five names are Susan Sarandon don't guess

Jeff Buckley Jeff Buckley? Makes it all more confusing The movie is not Roadhouse Ernest Scared stupid Xander Berkley Ooh

Jeanette Goldstein Jeanette Danny Cooksey There he is Castulo Guerra he is Castulo Guerra I love Castulo And Esa-Patha-Mercison Esa-Patha-Mercison

Yeah That sounds like you ask someone for directions And then they just fuck with you Esa-Patha-Mercison Which way do I go? Esa-Patha-Mercison Esa-Patha-Mercison Thing that Snaggletooth says Which way do I go? That's the path of Markinson. That's the path of Markinson. Thing that Snaggletooth says when he's flustered.

Any idea, Dylan? Let's see. We got a lot to go on here with... Oh, that's the path of Markinson. Big career she had. Or he. Who is that?in. Big career she had. Or he. Who is that? They. It's a duo.

Ethepathomercasin and Teller. That was good. Ethepathomercasin, attorneys at law. Ethepathomercasin in space. Ethepathomercason, attorneys at law. Esopathomercoson in space. Esopathomercoson of the spotless mind. Esopathomercosons of anarchy. I'll pass to save everyone some time. I do not know the answer.

All right, so that means that DC's on the board. He's got a point. And the lady narrator of this particular film is a lady who goes by the name Linda Hamilton, and it also stars Arnold Schwarzenegger and Edward Furlong. I don't know it. Terminator 2, Judgment Day.

Oh, yeah. Is there a colon in that movie? Yeah, there is. Well, in the title. I don't know about in the actual movie. Oh, yeah. Is there a colon in that movie? Yeah, there is. Well, in the title. I don't know about in the actual movie. Technically, every actor.

I forget which parts of people the Terminator rips out of their bodies. Who is Esa Pather Murgensen, the T-1000? She's, uh... JK, it's Robert Patrick.

She's a, uh... He wasn't interested in the answer at all. He's just setting us up. I was really trying to answer. He took it at face value. Yeah, I was like, I'll tell you who Esa Pathomerkison is.

Is the janitor that gets the finger through the eye. No, she isn't. Esa Pathomerkison plays the skeleton of Linda Hamilton. No, she doesn't. She's the apocalyptic nightmare. No, that's not her. Esa Pathomerkison plays the runaway cowlick on... Come with me if you want to riff.

She has a slightly different name every time we riff on her. Come with me if you want to Esabath at Murganson. God damn. Alright, so Pete gets to pick the category again. How many followers does Esabath at Murganson have? Most people have to be...

Let's seriously do that one right now. Most people have to be on a computer to troll. IRL troll. Does that even fit a username? Is that even long enough? That can't be her username on Twitter. Well, if you start typing in Asa Pather, you're going to get the right

business. Do you want me to do it? I don't know their name. I mean, I don't know. I wrote in Asapath of Merkinson and I think I joined Scientology. Alright. She's got a checkmark. How many followers does she have, Pete?

I know this. She's got 28. mark How many followers does she have, Pete? I know this She's got 28.3 thousand 28.3 28.3k, according to Pete Dylan? Okay, she has 33.1 thousand I think we're going high I'm going to say 17 thousand

We're going high It's 1,700 See, this is where this shit really trips me out. Like, Bill Gates has 5 million, and the awesome Esa-Patha Murchison from Pee-Wee's Playhouse and Law & Order, she only has 11K. Hashtag follow Esa-Patha Murchison, you guys. Let's get it going. Yeah, let's get it going. Follow Esa-Patha.

That'd be amazing. She just wakes up one day and has like a million followers. That'd be so great. Follow Esa-Patha. She's going to have She just wakes up one day and has like a million followers. That'd be so great. Follow S. Apatha. She's going to have so much joy. And Bill Gates has 21 million. And her name on Twitter is S underscore Apatha. S. Apatha?

S. Apatha. S. Oh. It kind of sounds like something that Jar Jar Binks would say. S. Apatha. S. Apatha. Me so S. Apatha. S. Apatha. All right. here we go.

Pete gets to start us off again. Since DC challenged Dylan on that last one, right? So then we go to DC. Would you like which category, Pete? One Fine Day, the films of Rafe or Joseph Fiennes. Ooh, Rafe. Mm-hmm. Ring Rafe. Liar Liar, movies that feature an appearance by Bill O'Reilly.

And Vag Holders, which is my clever take on badge holders when I was at South by Southwest. It's not so clever anymore. Wasn't even then. But Vag Holders is when I was at South by Southwest. It's not so clever anymore. It wasn't even then. But Badge Holders is movies directed by women.

Oh. Oh. Yeah, I think it's an important issue to bring up in the most sexist way I possibly can. Which one of those do you want to play? What was the first one? Ray for Joseph. Oh. Ray for Joseph Fiennes. All Oh. Ray for Joseph Fiennes.

All right. One Fiennes day. Would you like a Ray for Joseph Fiennes movie from 1998 or 2008? 1998. All right. Three and a half stars from Leonard. He calls this movie Spirited. He says it's the winner of seven Oscars.

this movie spirited. He says it's the winner of seven Oscars. And it's vivid. Zero names. He says zero names, Dylan. I mean, DC. Pardon me. DC's turn is next. We might have a three-way

tie, bro. Negative one name. Oh! Dylan, what are you going to do with that? Nothing. If DC gets this wrong, you're going to be our winner. Last time you did this, you

fucking blew it. I know. And I'll probably do it again. But it'll be fun. And it'll be over. How old are you? How old am I? 30. You're 30? Yeah. I think you know what? Thanks for weighing in on that, Pete. Dylan, just say name that movie, DC, and then he'll have to name the movie and the top-billed person,

and he might be another swing and a miss. And you would win. Can we all say it together? Name that movie, DC? Sure. Yeah, if you really want that to happen. Come on. If I were dying,

I would make a better wish, but... Alright, in three, two, one. Name that movie, DC! Shakespeare in Love. And I'm going to say that Leonard says that the lead is... Well, I mean, his name's in the title,

so I guess I'm going to go Joseph Fiennes. Correct on both counts. You are a winner today. How dare you? He won by naming a movie, Pete. I knew the movie, Doug. Oh, okay. I knew the movie.

Last pitch, Dylan. Dylan Gardner and the Make-A-Wish kids. Oh, I like that. But they might, Make-A-Wish might have a problem with it. Who says they're not really Make-A-Wish kids?

Well, they don't even exist. He plays all the instruments in his own. Oh, that's true. When you tour, do you have a whole band? My brother is actually my drummer.

How old is he? He's 26. I like this. What were your parents up to for eight years? How old is everyone? Between you and your brother. It's built-in babysitting. Oh, clever.

What a money saver. Look at that. Perfect reason to bring somebody into the world. You're frisky tonight. We need someone to watch him. Wait, but what that presupposes is that they have the babysitting kid with the DeLorean, I guess they can.

Right. Yeah. So your brother's 26. He's pretty old. He is 26. Yeah, it's not a very riffable number, is it? No. I got riffs.

I got some. I got riffs. Where's the person you were playing for, DC? That person was our light bright gentleman. Oh, yeah. He was Jimmy. Jimmy Lightbright. Alright. So come get your light bright back. I assume you

want that. And then grab your two bags of stuff. Retail value is probably about 70 bucks. He kind of looks like the guy that Lena Dunham ends up with. On girls.

You're a spoiler machine. The real spoiler would be if that guy played Magic the Gathering. The other gentleman, please pass me your name tags With the shitheads on the back Did you put a shithead on the back here, Andy? Okay, good man, good job I'm going to give you your Ghostbusters thing back Or does this not come off? Oh, it comes off

There you go What if it opened and a real ghost came out? And all our lives were ruined. I'd be impressed if a fake ghost came out of it, to be honest with you. It doesn't have to be a real one. What do you got to plug, Mr. Pete Holmes?

Ah, God. You made a weird podcast. That's a thing I do. You can also... Oh, thank you. I'm touring around a little bit. It's a thing I do. You can also... Oh, thank you. I'm touring around a little bit. It's all on PeteHolmes.com. Check that out.

Tour dates. Yeah, go see Pete Holmes. Yeah, go see me. It's a really refreshing experience when he's the only one with a microphone. It's the Pete Holmes I Got Riffs tour. I would love to come on there. I got riffs that multiply you would love to go on there. I got riffs, they're multiplying.

And Doug's losing control. I'm going to rewrite All of Greece to be about Pete. It's going to be called Pete's. And it's about Pete appearing on podcasts. Good night! Doug? Yeah? This is Tyrese.

I'm playing Kanicky on Broadway in Greece. Dylan, what do you got going on, man? You were at South By doing a show there, but now you're back in Los Angeles where you live. What's next? What's next is going on tour for two months all around the country again and playing as many shows as possible

and writing as many songs as possible and making musical albums until I die. What's the first date of the tour? Like when and where? Do you know? Gosh. How soon you're going out? The amazing thing about being a touring musician is the itinerary is constantly changing.

Oh, it's always changing? Always changing. I'm playing the Troubadour June 24th here in Los Angeles. That's the next Los Angeles show. Yeah, that'd be great. And you have a website, though, right? DylanGardenerMusic.com. There you go.

Who has DylanGardener.com? I don't know. It's Bob Dylan's gardening company. Sooner or later, all these plants will grow. We'll stop this from blowing in the wind. T1, man. I'm not going to

chance off that one. I missed the high five, though. The leaves, they are a-changin'. Very good. I dropped my sunglasses. Be sure to get both They are a change. Very good. I dropped my sunglasses. Be sure to get both of D.C. Pearson's books.

Yes. If you're a young adult or just think like one. You can even be a regular adult. You can be Magic the Gathering Age. You can do it. Crab Kingdom and Boy Who Couldn't Sleep. And they're both also available anywhere fine books are sold. And they're also an audio book. You can get them on Audible. And my friends and I are trying to make my first book, Boy Who Couldn't Sleep. And they're both also, they're available anywhere fine books are sold and they're also on audiobook. You can get them on Audible.

And my friends and I are trying to make my first book, The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep, into a movie and we made a proof of concept short that you can see at whocouldntsleep.com.

So check it out. Oh, all right. Yeah. Who had the boywhocouldntsleep.com? He didn't. Who has the guest who doesn't know when to wrap it up.com?

You salty dog. Thank you to all of my guests. Pete Holmes, Doug Gardner, D.C. Pearson. One week from today, we're doing Doug Loves Movies at the Improv in Atlanta. And then after that, at 8 o'clock, there's still tickets available for a stand-up show with me and my guests from the Doug Loves Movies.

It's going to be a whole fun night out there. And as always, David Lynch is a shithead? No. All right, you can't argue. It's not a debate. Although I think you might agree with this part. Any remake of Ghostbusters is a shithead.

Yeah. It was still some controversy. Political. Doug Loves Movies was brought to you in part by DraftKings, the official daily fantasy partner of Major League Baseball. Why wait until the end of the season to claim victory when you can win huge cash every day? Hurry to DraftKings.com now, can't believe you haven't gone already, and use the promo code MO movie to play for free.

You can win part of $300 million in prizes being awarded this season at DraftKings.com. That's DraftKings.com.