Doug Loves Movies - Pete Holmes, Paul Feig, Samm Levine, and James Ponsoldt Guest

Episode Date: July 9, 2013

Doug welcomes directors Paul Feig and James Ponsoldt and Leonard Maltin Game winners Pete Holmes and Samm Levine to the show.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody Hey everybody Hey, everybody. Hey, everybody. The table's not where I like it, and the first microphone I picked up wasn't on.

Let's have a big round of applause for the person who's not normally here running the show. It's not that person's fault that everyone else that works here that's here every week didn't say anything like Doug likes it further back and et cetera.

God damn it, I'm starting off this show pissed. I want to murder somebody. You know why I want to do that? Because there's weed in my system. I almost said alcohol. That's the problem is I had some alcohol too.

That's why I'm so angry. This is going to be great, you guys. I've got it all written down. My name is Doug and I love movies. Coming to you like we do most Tuesdays from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles it's July 9th

2 Oceans 13 let me see your name tags Los Angeles there's a giant Jake and Jill name tag as far as I know that was the title of the movie there's a gentleman

with a cute little animal baby. Is that an animal baby? Animal regular? He looks weird. Something's happened to him. Did you get that, like, out of the country or something? You got it in Orlando. Okay, close enough.

And what's your name tag on there? I can't see it. It's on his hand. Matt. Okay, Matt brought. And what's your name tag on there? I can't see it. It's on his hand. Matt. Okay, Matt brought a little animal. And Cassie brought a naked man drawing figure model thing. All right. Nothing says movies like those things.

I mean, Animal was in some movies. We got a license plate over there, obviously from the belly of Jaws. And what's that shirt say? Australia? And that's your name tag? A shirt that said Australia on it? Signed by Bobby Moynihan last week at the Gramercy as well.

Signed by Bobby Moynihan at the Gramercy in New York City. Alright, well, if I were choosing, I would pick you, sir. But I'm not. So good luck. Since last I spoke and you listened i had a great time interrupting some movies in austin texas sitting in with the master pancake guys to mock independence day boy is that movie not great but i learned from this past weekend that Independence Day is better than

Too Fast, Too Furious and Hulk. But not as good as Terminator 3. Rise of Burt Kreischer. What do you mean you were there? Which one? T3 you were there. That was a lot of fun, right? It was excellent. Oh, well, thank you very much. The reviews are in, you guys.

If anyone has a time machine, go back and visit Austin, Texas on Sunday and come to that show. And I finally saw Man of Steel, and frankly, it turned me into a man of sleep. Actually, I stayed awake through all of it, but I really tried to go to sleep. Like, I was like,

oh, this fight is gonna take a while. I'm gonna try to sleep through it. Because I have a feeling Superman prevails. Just a gut instinct. But I love movies, in spite of all the shitty things I just said about a bunch of movies. And tonight's panel includes two people

behind some great movies and two other people. So let's take a look into the prize bag so we can get them out here. We got a CD from someone and some promotional movie item.

Oh, we could talk about this. A copy of the movie The Wicker Man. You laugh, but it's the one that did not have Nicolas Cage in it. So, yeah. And a book we'll talk about in a second.

Oh, here it is, you guys. Hot off the presses. Just released today. A hard copy of my new album, Gateway Doug. a hard copy of my new album Gateway Doug. The cover of which scares some people. Does it scare you, Jordan?

You're a little scared by it. That's interesting. We've never smoked weed together though, right? Yeah, see that's your problem. People who don't smoke weed are really scared by it. People who smoke weed are like, oh, that's how Doug usually looks. I am used to that. Oh, and this is a fun prize.

No, it isn't. I brought back from New York City this sippy cup that I drank vodka and soda from while watching Tom Hanks in The Lucky Guy play. Yeah.

So, you know, run that through the dishwasher. And then throw it away. Please welcome, what a great panel I've assembled. Please welcome James Poncel, Paul Feig, and Leonard Maltin winners Pete Holmes and Sam the Man Levine,

a.k.a. Will Wolverine. Yeah! Oh my god. Without hesitation. You're like ruining it immediately. We were having such a great time backstage. Just bonding and joyful.

It's a good group. You put together some good chemistry. People even... People what? Why are you giving away a sippy cup? I want answers. Tom Cruise is in a play? He is gay. Theater. Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks.

He is gay. Is in a play. Fuck everything. Which doesn't make people gay. Sometimes. Different things. No, I think they start out gay and and then they're in a play. Or they're not gay, and they're in a play. What podcast is this? Doug Loves Gay Plays. So I just think it's funny that they give you alcohol in a sippy cup in theaters in New York, and brought it more just to bring it up rather than to give it away. I thought you smuggled it in, like, no one will know I'm an alcoholic baby. These are the rips, folks. Just put a comma in that sentence.

No one will know I'm an alcoholic baby. So that's Pete Holmes in Won't Shut Up. Hi. Hi, everybody. I'm going to win again. Like Babe Ruth

pointing to the stands, I'm going to win again. Pete, just try to say to yourself there are other guests there are other guests I know I enjoy their energy

it's not just me this is James he has a beard he listens to the show his last name is Ponsold Ponsold Ponsold

Pon Solo that's what we said oh my god that's what his friends are gonna call him from now on Pon Solo I mean if they

if they listen to this do Do your friends listen to this? Absolutely. Really? Use your microphone voice. There's no reason to put it down between talking. Because you never know who we're going to get called on. He's right. It's like when you're directing one of your great feature films that you direct,

you don't have them put away the microphones until right before you start shooting. You have them ready at all times. You're a feature film director? I am a feature film director. How exciting. Let's touch for energy exchange. He's very warm.

There's a lot of human heat coming off of him. And I'm bond... I feel like Doug's got a healthy glow about him, too. Can I see... I don't smoke weed. Can I see the cover of your scary album? Yeah. Where is it?

No. No. That looks like a Ben & Jerry's flavor that tastes like shit. No, look, actually both our albums are colorful and fun. Look, it's a podcast, but the people here can see. You should come to the live shows. Most podcast listeners are blind, you're right. That's true. But you brought your CD-DVD combo

called Pete Holmes' Nice Try the Devil. Yeah, there's a good comma in that title. I said it wrong. It's not Nice Try the Devil. It's Nice Try the Devil. That's right. Thank you for doing that properly. Paul, I feel like you have a great...

This is Paul Feig, everybody. He has a wonderful... Oh, no. Thank you. He has a wonderful... First of all, the best-dressed man in Los Angeles. What the fuck is happening, Paul?

Thank you, thank you. Listen to the sincere applause and listen to this man's fucking voice. Would you say, nice try, the devil, in your timber? Nice try, the devil. Oh, my God.

Everybody's more pregnant. Thank you for calling movie phone. Yeah! Thank you very much. If only that was Movie Phone. Yeah! Thank you very much. If only that was really me. Isn't that you? No. And you're the director of the film The Heat?

Yes, I am. And that's fantastic. Oh, thank you. Thank you. You've directed other films, but that one's the one we're promoting today. Yes, exactly. Pete, you might as well introduce your arch nemesis. My arch nemesis.

On the far end of the panel, getting a, was there a microphone issue? He just got a mic. He just got a working microphone. Oh, that was the one that I threw down in anger. Yep. Sammy the Machine Levine. Oh, that's his new nickname? That's his new nickname, I guess.

He's here. A nice gentleman. A nice gentleman. Is he my rival? Wait. Well, we're different, we have different styles Yes I like rules And orderly conduct

I can hear vaginas drying up I'm here to keep it sloppy, baby Yeah Ladies love a wild card like Pete Holmes That's what I'm saying You're the worst Leonard Mulden game player. You have sex with me. That's what people say often when they're coming.

Too real, not real enough. I just think your type A personality is a little bit of a vaginal dehumidifier. I'm just saying. It dries it up. Low tide. Pete, if I could have 45 seconds. You got it. Or a tide. Pete, if I could have 45 seconds. You got it. Or a minute. Watch the clock.

When the clock changes from 7-11 now It could be in the 50s. You don't know. I'm giving you the 7-12. Alright, here we go. I got this email today by way of introducing James Ponsel to the audience. I got an email that said,

Hi Doug, hope you're well. I wanted to reach out regarding director James Ponsel for your Douglas Movies podcast. James had great success with his debut, Smashed, with Aaron Paul and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. And his current and upcoming film, The Spectacular Now, received great acclaim at Sundance. It's based on a book. He's a pretty hot director at the moment,

having attached himself to the Weinstein adaptation of the play Pippin. I wouldn't call it a play. I'd call it a book. He's a pretty hot director at the moment, having attached himself to the Weinstein adaptation of the play Pippin. I wouldn't call it a play, I'd call it a musical. The Spectacular Now comes out on August 2nd, so I wanted to see if you had available dates prior to the release, either week of or week of July 26th. Please let us know.

And I wrote back, he's on the show tonight, bitch! I'm on that shit! No, I didn't say that to her. She's a nice lady. But it was funny timing that that came in today. But also, it sums up exactly what I would say about you to introduce you to this crowd.

Smashed was awesome. Thank you very much. Very, you know, generally I would think most, you know, most movies about alcoholism are not enjoyable. But this one was, it managed to be fun, but have a point at the same time. I like that Denzel one. We're going to roll it. That's Denzel making breakfast in the morning. It's more of a movie about people that aren't flying planes.

No, it's mostly about his struggle with booze. And his love of crepes and joints. We're gonna roll it. I can't help you if you're not laughing. You're not picturing Denzel making you a crepe. Dude, there's quite a substantial money prize that goes along with worst guest on the show in the history of everything. So, yeah, keep at it.

I will. You might win it all. It's just a safe place to be silly. What is this? This is smashed. Who's that? That's smashed. That's Aaron Paul and Mary Elizabeth Winstead that I just mentioned mere minutes ago.

Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are also in it. Did you call Mary Elizabeth Winstead Mew? Exactly. That's what everybody calls her. Is that the secret of good directing? Figue, would you have done that? Yes, you have to find the perfect pet name. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

Alright, here we go. What did you call Sandy Bullock? Did you call her Sandy Buttock? I called her Miss. Miss? Yeah. She'll open a film. He called her, thank you for doing this.

Exactly, really. You're the first real movies I've ever worked with. You can push Melissa around a little bit, right? Because you're responsible for all of her success. Well, I just,

I have merely a hand in some of it. Yeah, I like to say when they talk about the heat and bridesmaids as being proof that women can be the center of a comedy and can be successful, I like to say yes,

especially if they're directed by a talented man. Oh, shit. Yeah, I did it. Yeah, I did it. But I can't say Tom Hanks is gay. Fuck the show. Where's the sequel thing? A very feminine man.. Fuck the show. Where's the sequel? A very feminine man.

Where's the sequel? It's in the typewriter of Katie Dippold right now. Is that true? Yeah, she's writing it. Oh, I love that. Who knows if we'll make it, but we'll see. I'll make it happen. Can you make some calls?

That could be the rest of your life. Bridesmaids 2, Heat 2, Bridesmaids 3, Heat 3. Just bounce back and forth. That's it. Heat 2, reheated. Don't act like that's not a joke

you would make. That is a Doug Benson joke. I'm taken too. I've seen your act. You son of a bitch. I will crack you with an oar that I lit on fire.

And it was wet. How did I do it? I believe that was probably some sort of gasoline on it. Oh, yeah, sure. That's why it was wet and on fire. You have a lot of bracelets. You look like Ani DiFranco. I loved how when you came out here, you said to James,

may I sit here? Like, you had to be right next to me. Because I did that episode where Kumail was right here, and it was all, oh, my God, and none of me. Just fucking nonstop. You really think there was none of you in that episode? None of me. I had the wall of Brian Posehn cock-blocking.

Cock-blocked! Cock-blocked! Cock-blocked! Doug, you had asked me before the show to explain the Leonard Balton game to Paul Feig, but I did not have near enough time to explain Pete Holmes to Paul Feig. Is there enough time, really?

There is not possibly. There will never be enough time. I enjoy the way you speak. I feel like we're in a library with leathery books and a candelabra and you're like, I tried to explain the game but no amount of time is sufficient to explain Beat Holmes.

And then we run a clip. I'm holding a snifter. Let's look at a clip. Of what, of me? Yeah, do a little... Alright, stop the clip. Do you think there's footage of you somewhere doing that? There's photographs.

I wanted you to just do a quick... There's a photo of me yelling at you like this that I like a lot. That is a good one. You know what I'm talking about? Our next album, both of us should have the same cover and it's that shot of you and me yelling at each other. I would love it.

I wanted to call my album Lionel Richie Live in Concert. I thought that would be nice. But legal, Paul. I'll call that album Lionel Richie Live in Concert. I thought that would be nice. But legal, Paul. I'll call that album Never Repeat. Never Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Like an email that I sent you with the subject Pete, and you replied.

That's a thinker. But it's worth it. Get there. Get there, people. See, he's a gentleman. That's a great subject for an email, your own first name. This is regarding Pete. James brought a copy of the non-Nicholas Cage version of The Wicker Man.

Is that like a movie that inspired you or something? Not at all. I just love the Leonard Maltin quote on the front. Oh, yeah. Leonard Maltin said, the front. Oh yeah. Leonard Maltin said harrowing, absorbing. So far it could be like a scary movie or paper towels. And then he says

You are a good time at the movies. You are. And then he says eerie and erotic ellipses. A must see. And then there's a quote from his wife. Leonard! Stop jerking it to the original non-Nicholas Cage wicker man and come to bed, and I swear to God

if your breath smells like Chubby Hubby! It's on there. If her breath smells like the... You think he was jerking off and eating Ben & Jerry's? You've never done that? No. It's called jerry-rigging yourself. I can name this in no

names. It's wicker man. Did I win again? Hey, Doug, remember when I won? Yeah. That's why you're here. Oh. Yeah, if you lose tonight, I'll never have to have you on again. So you better

pull it together. Pull it together and apart for the excitement of coming back together. But also, you know, I'm going to have you back on because you have a TV show. That's true. Fear me, Doug. When do I get to start abusing that? I said soy latte!

Yeah, people don't like this for me. I hope you'd never do that. I would never. I would never. The Spectacular Now is a book. James brought a copy of the book that the film Spectacular Now is based on. And we should say that it was a big, everybody loved it at Sundance. They liked it. Yeah. They liked it.

But you made the film. I'm so humble with this. I made the film. Isn't this your competitor? The book? Yeah. People are like, yeah. Shouldn't you be fighting books instead of working with them?

I think they can read and then watch the movie. They can do both. What kind of time do you think we the public have? I'm not reading the heat manuscripts. I'm buying tickets. Learn from the man. Look at his suit. It's worth more than your car.

How many suits do you own now, Paul? Way too many. Yeah, because for the record, Paul Veague has been wearing three-piece suits or some variation thereof as long as I have known him. Thank you. Which is approaching 15 years. Yes, exactly.

Well, he probably started when he met you. Yeah. Because, you know, you always want to impress Sam Levine. I judge a man by the clothes he wears. But, you know, I was there for the, or not maybe there specifically when the transition happened, but I knew Paul pre-suit guy. We've known each other for 25 years, I think it's been. Maybe.

Ballpark. We were residents of the Variety Arts Club. Running around doing stand-up comedy at various open mics and low-paying gigs around town. Yes. stand-up comedy at various open mics and low-paying gigs around town. I always love to tell people when they're crowing about your success that I thought you were a very funny stand-up comedian.

But... But it's just fun to bring up, it may be a little embarrassing, that your closer used to be Thurston Howell from Gilligan's Island, playing the harmonica and singing the blues.

About being Thurston Howell and being rich on an island. Yes, it certainly was. Yeah. And as I get older, fewer people know who that is. So it's fantastic. I laughed because it was a silly voice. Pete, you're claiming to be too young

to know Gilligan's Island? I didn't watch it. You fascist. I grew up religious. They were wayward. You grew up weird. I did. But can you remember any of that to this day?

Oh, God. I don't have the harmonica on me. Yeah, no harmonica. But you know the blues. There's harmonica in between each thing. but you know you know the blues there's harmonica in between each thing the professor the fella's quite daft

and the professor can't he can invent a coconut lie detector but he can't invent a goddamn raft so I remember that was one of the yeah jokes like that

that kind of thing and that's why I don't do stand up anymore I remember Doug when you used to you had glasses sure and you did the

you had the bird the suction cup bird that would peck your eyes out yeah yeah I put two birds on my glasses and you had the bird, the suction cup bird that would peck your eyes out. Yeah, yeah. I put two birds on my face and this is a scene from Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. It was very funny. Wait, you were a prop pelvic? I did start out with props.

He had minor props. Oh my God. Minor props. I had prop pockets. Those are delicious by the way. My very first set ever Prop pockets. My very first set ever

had a lot of elaborate props. Really? I grew out of that. But when we started, prop comics were popular. They were popular? Can we have a bigger laugh for a prop pocket? No, we're not giving props to anything you say. Ah!

My props are singing. Pete, we are still not through the contents of the prize bag. That is how disruptive you are. That's right, which means I'm winning. Pete, take a knee. Take a knee? Yeah. What is this, radio?

Isn't that a football film? So Sam brought some screener CDs, as he always does. He brought Silence of the Lambs, and he wrote on the back, this was the movie I won the Tournament of Championships 2 with, and so there's that. Are those just affirmations you wrote yourself? Yeah. Yeah, that wasn't meant to leave the house. I grabbed that one by accident.

And of course, Sam will be competing in the sold out Super Tournament of Championships Sunday night at Largo, which will be available for you guys to hear very soon. and then he also brought a copy of American Psycho that one was Silence of the Lambs did I say that and this one is American Psycho and he wrote on the back Christian Bale's people didn't want him to do this movie and then he became wildly famous from it did you know how old he was when he shot that

movie uh 27 no I believe he was 21 I might be wrong about that but he was when he shot that movie? 27, 28? No, I believe he was 21. I might be wrong about that, but he was very preposterously young. You're jumping in with a wrong fact. Like, I can't wait to get out this piece of information that is incorrect. There's no fucking way he was 21 when he made that movie.

I want to Google it so bad. Google it. That'll maybe shut you up for a second. Did you know they also, I'm going to talk while I do it know they also offer the part to Tom Cruise because Tom Cruise makes a cameo in the book. Hi, I'm Sam Levine. Christian Bale was born in 1974.

I don't know why you're going at it this way. That feature came out in the year 2000, so I don't know. I'm on math. Puts him around 26? Yeah. No. Thanks for playing. You're out. It says, but puts him around 26 yeah no no thanks Pete thanks for playing

you're out it says his first on screen role was in 1983 at age 9 so we were both wrong Empire of the Sun never be wrong

put on your comedy pants and take out your dick I don't know what he was in when he was 9 but of course he went on to do Newsies. It was Empire of the Sun. He was nine in Empire of the Sun? I believe so. That's pretty young. But his agent said he could

play eight. That should have gotten more. At home it got more. Can you hear the laughs at home? Your agent needs to play Kate. Play Kate. And Paul brought a copy of the original

motion picture soundtrack for The Heat, which is in theaters now, kicking ass. Yes. And not one, but two. And I'm excited about the posters that you brought.

One is just the regular one you see in the theater, but the other is the super cool Mondo poster. Which one is this? That's the regular one. Okay, that's regular style. Were they together for that shoot? That's a pretty cool poster for not Mondo poster. Which one is this? That's the regular one. Okay, that's regular style. Were they together for that shoot?

That's a pretty cool poster for not Mondo style, but here's the Mondo one. There we go. Yeah! Wait, let me see, Doug. No mistake. I know. We tried to make that the actual poster, but they let us.

Why wouldn't they let you? Because they're stupid? I'm actually on it. They made me one of the SWAT team guys. Yeah. That's my natural state, shooting a gun. That's fantastic. There you go. Love it.

Absolutely love it. I got to get a picture of that. Can I play for that? Sure, Pete. Thank you. Thank you very much, Paul Fee. Anytime. I'm going to get pictures of both of those when I make a vine,

because did Sam tell you about the name tags? Oh, I forgot that. Okay. That's easy though. You'll play for Paul. You're going to play for somebody in the audience, James too, Sam and Pete.

And they're going to show you their name tags now and just go out in the audience and pick a name tag of someone that you would like to play for and physically take it from them. This always gives me

a lot of panic. And we'll be right back. Gives me a lot of panic. And we're back. Sam Levine, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Lucky Number Kevin. I love it. Paul Feig, who are you playing for? I'm playing for Just a Nature.

It's a literature book. It's a literature book. See, there you go. Well done. Totally explained. Do I get to keep the name? James? I'm playing for Rachel. Your mic is off. Is it off? It's so low.

No, he just doesn't talk. He doesn't stick it up to his mouth like you do. I like to taste the memories. So what's the name on the... There's no name on that name tag, so who do you think you're playing for, if you had to guess? Is it on the back?

Rachel? Rachel. Oh, and then she wrote a shithead on the back, so don't reveal that. And Sam, you told Paul about the shithead thing, right? There's no shithead. There's no shithead, okay. All right.

Well, I hope he wins, then. Oh, good. And Pete, show us the name on yours. Renee. Renee Asaurus. Renee Asaurus. Almost no effort Asaurus. All right.

I created a delightful vine of all of that. I'll re-vine it. That's a thing on there now. Yeah, you can now re-vine. You can re-vine it. Yeah. Twitter should sue them. I love Vine so much more than Instagram. I hate going through Instagram

and like a movie just starts and I just have a panic attack. Because you can't pay attention for 15 seconds? No, I'm scrolling through the photos. I'm seeing pictures of puppies and the earth, shit I follow.

Then all of a sudden, fucking Paul F. Tompkins' wife is walking around. It's like, what the shit? It's like seeing a ghost on my phone. PeteHolmes.com The show starts in the fall.

Okay, we're having a lot of fun. We're having a lot of fun. I saw Pacific Rim. That's why I took this. Oh, okay. I saw it. How was it? It's fucking great. Is it great?

Paul! It looks awesome. It's so great. Oh, I'm not mad at you. I just want you to be excited. I'm excited. I hate so many things that come out. I hated Superman and a lot of other films. Uh-oh. Watch it. No, no. I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean that. But Pacific Rim did not let down. It is a fucking Doug Benson. It's a good time at the movies. There's fucking robots fighting monsters that are in the ocean. Doug, they were in the ocean the whole time. Paul, can we have you sign these posters? I will definitely do that.

Doug, to make monsters... To fight monsters, we made monsters. Yes. Hey, Doug. To fight monsters, we made Pete Holmes. That's right. At the wrap party, they said, to fight monsters, we made fajitas.

And it's a wrap party. Single most pleased with that joke person in the room. I'm pretty sure that's the secret to happiness, is just be a fan of yourself, you know what I mean? I don't think that joke was for anybody but me. And I'm saying it's a rap party, and they're eating a rap food, fajitas. So, I mean, there's so many levels.

I can't make you walk through the door. I can only show it to you. You know what I mean? Like Morpheus. What if they did a remake of The Matrix, but it's exactly the same, but Morpheus is wearing 2013 New Year's Eve glasses? Hey, James, what does Bob Odenkirk play in your movie?

What is Bob Odenkirk's role in The Spectacular Now? Bob Odenkirk plays the boss of the protagonist at a menswear store. He plays a very sort of funny, sad, middle-aged white man. Perfect. Yes, he's typecasting.

I'm excited about that Breaking Bad. What's going to happen? I know, I can't wait. I know. It's very exciting because it's, you know, he's the kind of

TV show maker that could pull off anything, right? You mean the Gil? It's exciting. You mean Gilligan's Island closer, Vince Gilligan? Is that what you mean? Yeah. I just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing. Yeah, Breaking Bad.

Zach Galligan. Wait, Zach Galligan is behind Breaking Bad? Zach? From the Gremlins films? That is the appropriate amount of laughter Wait, Zach Galligan is behind Breaking Bad? From the Gremlins films? That is the appropriate amount of laughter for people who got the reference. Yes, that's Zach Galligan. Zach Galligernakis.

It's Zach Gallifianakis, but he smashes watermelons. I can't help you. I can't help you. You know what I mean? I'm failing. Who can't you help? The people who weren't laughing. Oh, I see.

It's not going to get better than Zach Gallagher-Nakas. People are like, I'll get the next one. Zach Gallagher-Nakas comes to your door, and you're like, eh. Unless it's Zach Gallagher-Nakas. I see the joke. Two. Yeah. Gallagher, two.

His twin brother. I don't remember. Nice. Yeah. Walked off. Got sued. Come back, Zach Gallagher-Nakas. That's Mark Maron. his twin brother walked off come back Zach Gallagher that's Mark Maron when he walked off

let's play the Leonard Mullen game hooray oh thank god oh no oh Paul Justin their heavy book I'm passing court Oh, no. Oh, Paul. Oh, Justin. Got water down on the... Justin, that's their heavy book.

On the microphone cords. I'm passing cord. I'm passing blame. There's people sitting on the floor. This is good. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everybody. Sorry, guys.

There's very little... Remember that podcast where five people died? Pete Holmes was having a great night. Somehow Pete didn't get blamed for it. Yeah. I just kept killing Zach Gallagher-Nakos as paramedics were rushed to the scene.

You know, you're a consummate entertainer. Just because paramedics are running in doesn't mean the rest of the people don't need to hear some shit. If I was on the Titanic, I would have yelled

Zach Gallagher-Nakas the whole time. Yeah, you'd be right there telling jokes loudly over the band that keeps playing. Yeah, yeah. Iceberg lettuce?

I mean, are we really naming a lettuce after the thing that's killing us? I don't know about you, but I get out of this. I'm calling that shit white lettuce. All right. How you doing? You getting on that boat because you're a lady or a child? Sure. You're all equal until the boat's. Am I right?

Zach Gallagher-Nakis. That'll make sense in the future. Hey, James Cameron's here filming us all. I can't wait for a future where that makes sense. I'm waiting for the future where I make sense. All right, Pete, you get to go first. I'm going to win. Because you won a few weeks ago in Chicago.

Max Payne. Mark Wahlberg. Of course, Sam is the reigning champion here in Los Angeles. I don't need to go first. I don't need to go first. No, we're going with Pete, as announced. That's fine.

But then we'll go to James, and then Paul will hopefully get how this works by the time it gets to you. Feig Newtons, the movies of Paul Feig. Yes, nice. And Paul just needs to remember that... Did I say that backstage? I heard you

he warned me he was going to do that I said I'm going to use it again I love that some of this is planned I have a whole set list we're right in the middle what was it? Gallagher-Nakas alright hit me

zero names princess bride you get to pick a category All right, hit me. Zero names. Princess Bride. You get to pick a category. Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Between these options.

Would you like Rufino, and that's people from the movie Hook. Are you familiar with that? Looky, looky, I got hooky. Who, people from that movie who were not Rufio. Uh-huh. In other films. Michael Jackson put a curse on Steven Spielberg for not casting him as Peter Pan in that film.

Wow, do you think he did that curse like into like a reflective surface and it came back at him? That was excellent. That was just an A+. Feminist movement. That's movies where you see a woman on a toilet.

Or celebrating a birthday today and viewed very closely by me while drinking vodka out of a sippy cup. It's Tom Hanks' birthday. The great Tom Hanks. So the films of Tom Hanks' birthday. The great Tom Hanks. Yes. So the films of Tom Hanks. Which one of those would you like to play?

Because I'm not good, I'll go with Tom Hanks. That's not a reason to do it, but okay. I feel like it is. Okay. The year is 2006. I was there. Leonard gives the movie... I was living.

Three stars. Uh-huh. He says this movie is about a hot shot. Uh was there. Leonard Gibson movie. I was living. Three stars. Uh-huh. He says this movie is about a hot shot. Uh-huh. And he says that this movie may speak most eloquently to adults of a certain age. Yeah, whatever that means. And then he lists, the performers he lists that are involved with this motion picture are the number 13. So how many names do you think you need, Pete Holmes?

To guess Cloud Atlas. Reading from the bottom up. Of course, from 2006. It seems like so long ago because it was such a long film. He had microchips on his face. All right. I need... You saw that movie?

No, no, no. Yeah, I didn't think so. I saw... I don't care. How many names out of 13? I need 13 names. Okay. James?

10 names. Thank you, James. Yeah, because if you'd have said name it, you would have definitely gotten the Just said name it You would have You would have Definitely gotten the point Yeah You would have heard

Cloud Atlas And then a point Going your way Paul what do you think Do you want to go Less names Or ask James to name it I'm going to have to

Ask James to name that Okay Good strap James gets 10 names Good strap Ooh Good stratton Pat 2006

We call that The DGA switcheroo Ooh Good strattin', Pat. 2006. We call that the DGA switcheroo. Three stars. There's a hot shot, and it may speak most eloquently to adults of a certain age, and your ten names are Jennifer Lewis, Paul Dooley, Michael Walls, John Ratzenberger,

Tony Shalhoub, Michael Keaton, Richard Petty, George Carlin, Cheech Marin, and Larry the Cable Guy. And the movie is called... I have no idea. That is not the name.

I'll give you a second. I have no idea. That is not the name. I'll give you a second. Was he a hot shot in Castaway? Was he like, I'm going to deliver these packages, bitch. Yeah, he was very, that's one thing I didn't like about Castaway. It's like, we get it.

He always gets where he needs to go as soon as he needs to be there. I'm going to put my dick in this coconut. Yeah. That's how he talks. You saw the deleted scenes? Yeah, yeah. They were going for an R for a while there. I'm circling around Catch Me If You Can in the terminal, but I don't think it's either of those. I think you're

gonna be in trouble, because it was a misleading category. Typical switcheroo that I like to pull. Do you want to settle on one of those? Just say Little Monsters. Just say Don't Know. I don't know.

Forrest Gump. Apparently, I don't even remember this happening because I only saw the movie once. It's not really my thing. But apparently, there is a Woody car in the movie Cars that was voiced by Tom Hanks. Yeah, in the movie Cars. That was voiced by Tom Hanks.

So it's Cars. That's not fair. It's not fair at all and that's part of the fun. And now Paul Feig is on the board, ladies and gentlemen. There you go. I'm sorry. Well played. It had to be your expense. I'm sorry, sir. And that means we start with Sam and then go to Paul.

Sam gets to pick a category from the following options. Would you like two thumbs down from the great Roger Ebert? That's movies that he gave two thumbs down. He never did that. It's movies that he gave two stars or less. Or the Battle of Balls Deep, and that's movies where Lord of the Ring actors have sex. That's great.

That's one I get and I like that. Or the Rice Storm and that of course is movies that have a wedding in them. Which one of those would you like to play, Sam? I will take Balls Deep. Ooh.

I love the way you say it It's almost like a grown man Yeah Would you like a movie with someone from Lord of the Rings having sex from 2004 or 2005? 2004 Alright

Two and a half stars from Leonard from this movie from 2004 He says that Devotees Of one of the performers in this movie Will enjoy that performer's performance Okay Yeah

Interesting Clue He says that Others watching this movie may flounder. Mm. Yeah. And he lists ten names. How many names

do you think you can get it in? Sam the ma'am. I will say ten names. What year? 2005? Smart opening bid. What year, 2005? Smart opening bid. What year? The year is 2004.

We go to Paul Feig. Oh, boy. I don't want to make my footprint on here just making other people try to name things. No, that's what I do. Really? You know how good Sam is at this, so you should. I literally got nothing from Leonard's description of this.

Sure, but once you hear a lot of names, that might spark something. So you can bid one less name than what Sam bid. Oh, but then revenge will occur. Don't live with fear. You know what? I'm going to go for it. I'm going to say nine. This is nine names, James.

Name that film. Ah, I knew it. Yes, you are perfectly justified in that. I fucking know this one. Now, for the record, if Paul is able to name the film, he will win the game. It's nine out of ten. All right. Can I say that I was going to say zero names?

I wish I could. You can say that. You just did say that. Now shut the fuck up. I never know them. What are you doing in two weeks, Paul? Me? Yeah, yeah.

Can you come back in two weeks and defend your title? Yes, I actually will be a title. You're assuming a lot. I'm very excited. Thanks for all the pressure. You get nine out of ten names for this movie from 2004 that devotees of one of the performers will enjoy the performance. And others will flounder.

Others may flounder. And your nine names are Seymour Cassell, Sue George, or Jorge, Bud Cort, Michael Gambone, Jeff Goldblum, Willem Dafoe,

Angelica Houston, Kate Blanchett, keep it down in the audience, or, and, or, and, or, and, Owen Wilson. Oh, boy. From 2004.

Oh, man. Everybody knows it but me right now. Not quite everybody. I see that guy over there. Yeah. Who's going? There's a guy with quizzical hand face. I'm going to go with...

I'm wrong. This is not it. Oh, shit. I forgot the name of the movie. You're only missing one name. It's the... This isn't it. It's the one that Seth Rogen wrote,

but it's not it. It's the... You know, where he... Steve Brill directed it. This is a fun new version of the game. Yeah, exactly. Just describe it to me. Yeah, exactly.

I can't remember the name of it. It's wrong what I'm thinking, so I'm going to have to say I don't know. That means James gets a point? Yes. James is on the board. What do you think it is, James? The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. That's correct. I was wrong.

What did you think it was? Eastern Promises. I was wrong what did you think it was eastern promises like Bill Murray you went hard for Viggo Mortensen I did he was just like it's Viggo Mortensen because of the clue fans of him

he's the only person from Lord of the Rings who's had sex but hardcore fans of him will enjoy that big hardcore nude scene that he's flopping around you see a lot of his hotbeds.

But it's sex scenes, not nude scenes. He also fucks. I didn't know Bill Murray was in Lord of the Rings. Alright, we got an exciting game. Apologies to Put Your Hands Together, because we might go a few minutes long. What just happened? James

challenged Paul, so that means that we're going to start with Pete and then go to James. And Pete gets to pick again. So God help us all. Hopefully each category doesn't get followed by a story and or pre-written bit. You have my permission to die, and that's not what I'm saying to you.

Say it properly. It's Batman actors who die in other films. Oh, okay. Yeah. And that's people who've played Batman. Oh, okay. And then Golden Shower's playbook. And that, of course, is movies that start with P.

The letter P. Oh, okay. Yeah. And your third choice is Doug Loves Newbies, which would be first-time directors. First-time directors. So Smashed was your first time, or did you do something before that?

What was that called? That was called Off the Black. Oh, who's in that? Timothy Hutton and Nick Nolte. Is it good? Yeah, I think it's pretty good. Check it out. Why haven't I heard of that?

I don't know. I'll give you a copy. What the fuck is wrong with me? I don't know. No, I'll seek it out. And Paul, as a director, your first movie was Bridesmaids? No, no, no. I mean, technically, my very first movie was called Life Sold Separately, which still has

not been released. I've got a VHS copy. I'll make you one. Sam has seen it. Actually, it was a thing called I Am David. A little drama that nobody wanted to see. We all make our mistakes in the beginning. And I've said this before, and I stand

by it. It is a very sweet, very wonderful movie. And you should all see it. Thank you, Sam. Thank you very much. I stand by that. I hope it's in this category so I could win. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, that would have been smart.

I could have put your first movie in here. And it's free Jesus Caviezel. Yep, exactly. Yeah. It's true. Turns out I went with somebody else, Pete, because this movie is from 1971. But I didn't pick that category.

We picked it for you, Pete. You didn't pick yet? I want the Batman one. Okay, here we go. Here we didn't pick that category. We picked it for you, Pete. You didn't pick yet? I want the Batman one. Okay, here we go. Here we go. First time directors. This movie. 10,000 fegs under the sink?

Come on, let's do it. Would you like a movie with Batman who dies in another movie from 1993 or 2010? A Space Odyssey. Ooh. When did that movie I wanted to be come out?

And I know 2010's subtitle wasn't A Space Odyssey, so please don't write the corrections department. 1993. 1993. Wow. 1993. Two and a. Okay. 1993. Two and a half stars

for this movie where someone who played Batman passes away by some means. He says this movie... Well, all actors in movies die

eventually off screen. No, this is... Like the man without a face, he's gone. This person... Was he that old? He took his life.

Mel Gibson is still with us. Yeah, and doesn't seem that old. Man without a face, gone. He says this movie features a forceful performance and also a likably eccentric one. Yeah.

And he says that someone related to the real life person that the movie is about actually shows up in the movie in a role. Starsky and Hutch, huh? And he lists

a shit ton of names. 24 names. Oh my God. We call that a key for Sutherland. What is it too warm in here? That's what's happening up here. How many out of 24 do you want? I have a good guess

how many you're gonna go for. I'm gonna give it a Jim Carrey. 23. Ah, nice. Well played. I mean... You know he was terrified

of that number, right? He was terrified. It was a bad number. I know. It was a bad decision on your part. James, name that movie. Ah! Well done. I know. It was a bad decision. Yeah, I know. On your part. James, name that movie.

Ah! Well done. Well done. Why would you do that? I would never normally... Can you come back in two weeks? I would never normally root for you, Pete, but... Yeah, I know, right?

This is the only thing that keeps the game going. Send it to me with your brain. I'm going to have Paul Feig and James Poncel back in two weeks. Because I'd really love to hear from them. Okay. Oh, and just so I can answer all the questions before they get asked to me, because people ask me all the time, how come you have such a problem playing with four players on the Miller-Malton game?

It's so much fun. No, it's because you get mathematically boxed the fuck out. And it's infuriating. It's really probably the worst thing that's ever happened to you. It is hands down. Hashtag white man's problems. What does off the black mean? Does that mean you're not on heroin anymore?

It's a baseball term for a pitch that's right. I know it's a baseball term. And off of heroin, yes. Off the black tar, yeah. Off the black, what does that mean in baseball? I'm sorry. It's a pitch that's just off home plate. I know it's a baseball term. And off of heroin, yes. Off the black tar, yeah. Off the black, what does that mean in baseball? I'm sorry.

It's a pitch that's just off home plate. You know, there's black around the home plate. There is? There is. Jackie Robinson? Didn't you?

Yeah, that's the one that pushes you after everything that's come out of fucking Beechmill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's your 23 names. No, no, no.

Just give me 10 names now. What? Who cares? I'm not going to know Billy Babubo. Oh, Billy Babubo's in it? I'm just trying to figure out which movie's fucking George Clooney. Oh, you're saying just give you the best names? Val Kilmer.

Michael Caden. And it's a bio-gag. The best names? Val Kilmer. Michael Caden. And it's a bio-gag. Here's what's going to happen. If you don't say it immediately after or during the 23 names, but if you don't say it immediately after the last one, you lose and James wins. I like that because he's a good man.

But honestly, if you do not know it after 23 names, it's one of those Pete Holmes doesn't know it things. Yeah. Devils wears Pradas. Devils wears Pradas. do not know it after 23 names, it's one of those Pete Holmes doesn't know it things. Yeah. Like Devil's Wears Prada's. Devil's Wears Prada's. Didn't know it, even got Meryl Streep. He got Meryl Streep and Anne Hathaway and didn't know it. And did not know.

And I've seen it. Look, folks, I'm not here to win the game. I'm here to win hearts. Failure is the best approach. I know. People really rally around those losers at the game. I'm here to win hearts. Failure is the best approach. I know. People really rally around those losers at the Olympics. They lift them up

on their shoulders. It depends which Olympics. Some of them are more supportive. It doesn't seem so harsh now, does it? I'm just saying it's supportive. I didn't make a judgment. But you narrowed it down to two Olympics,

and we figured out what you meant. You guys are offensive in your mind. Here are your 23 names. I meant the Macy's Savings Olympics. Robert Mitchum, Charlton Heston, Billy Bob Thornton, Frank Stallone, Pedro Armendiaz Jr. Doesn't matter.

Thomas Hayden Church, Harry Carey Jr., Buck Taylor, Billy Zane, Dana Wheeler Nicholson, John Tenney, Michael Rooker, past and hopefully future guests, Jason Priestley, Bill Paxton, Joanna Pacula, Jason Priestley, Bill Paxton, Joanna Pacula, Terry O'Quinn, Stephen Lang, Sam Elliott, Dana Delaney, Robert Burke, Powers Booth, Michael Bane, and the Batman of the category, Val Kilmer in... There's a Bane in a Batman Dies movie? B-I-E-H-N. Okay. He's an actor that's been in some things. Who dies. Terminator.

In a movie. The Abyss. That's a biofaker. It includes an appearance from this guy in real life. You got nothing with those 23 names? You know it? You knew the answer. Do you know it?

What does Val Kilmer die in? Willow. Incorrect. The answer is Tombstone. Very popular movie, Pete. Yeah, I love that movie. I got two guns, one for each of ya.

Right? Pete is the only player that can quote a movie after not recognizing it. You know what? Because when I see it, they're the characters. You know what I mean? How's Kristen Wiig's wedding? How was that?

But Val Kilmer is amazing in that movie. That scene where he spins the little teacup on his finger is one of the best. It makes me want to watch it. I don't feel like a failure. I feel like I won the remembrance of a movie I'd like to see. Well, you should also see James Ponsle's Spectacular Now and Paul Feig's The Heat and Sam Levine's Do No Harm Saturday Nights.

10 p.m. NBC, baby. Burning them off on NBC. And congratulations, James. If you can come back in two weeks, I'd love to have you, and we'll talk more about Spectacular Now. Were those the plugs? Do you have plugs? Yeah, listen to my podcast it's

called you made it weird and watch my yeah i want thank you so much good job preaching to the converted okay and then there's something that you can't watch yet and it's called the pete home show and it's going to be on in the fall after conan boom yeah we're all gonna watch that okay come on thank you thank you i'm so sorry renee asaurus you're extinct can't wait. Thank you. I'm so sorry, Reneasaurus. You're extinct. Now, by after Conan, you mean they play two or three hours of infomercials, then you, right? That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah.

Eventually after Conan. Knives cutting through pennies and then... Stay up. People in black and white grainy footage not able to make pasta. You were making the noise of this dinosaur? Oh, no, no, I'll do that. There's no shithead on the back. We need a shithead.

Rene, who's your shithead? Where's Rene at? Oh, you want to write it down? Yeah, yeah. That's how we do it. Yeah, Justin, come on. You're Rene? Oh, and you don't have a shithead either?

Okay, yeah, just write it down here on this piece of paper. Or whisper it to Pete. Oh, no. But James, we don't need your shithead because the person you're playing for won. What was the winner's name again? Rachel. Rachel, come get your prize bag, Rachel.

I'm glad those two awesome heat posters are going to a woman. You're here. That's right, as it should be. You played for Ray Charles? Yeah, Rachel. That's amazing. Hey, did anyone see Val Kilmer

in the Life's Too Short special on HBO this past week? Okay, you all should because it was fucking amazing. Oh,

that's like the, you know, Ricky Gervais, you know, he likes to do a finale that's longer. Yes, the special that

closed it all out and Val Kilmer plays himself in it and I swear to God, it's the funniest thing I've seen him do since MacGruber. Even better than Mark Twain?

He does? What could be funnier than Mark Twain? Val will do some good stuff. He'll surprise you. He's phenomenal. We should check that out. It's got to be on HBO Go. I assume he's playing himself in it. The final movie of Extras,

the Ricky Gervais movie from Extras, was like one of the best things I've ever seen in any medium. Yeah. So yeah, so check this out.

The finale of Extras? Yeah, it's really good. Remember the scene where Clive Owen, they bring in an ugly woman to be an extra that he has to have sex with and he fucking loses it

right in front of her? Yeah. It's amazing. I love that scene too. I love that series. There's a lot of good stuff in there. Okay front of her. It's amazing. I love that scene, too. I love that series. There's a lot of good stuff in there. Okay, so we covered everybody's plugs. Oh, not my plugs.

San Francisco tomorrow night, Minneapolis on Thursday and Friday. James will be back here in two weeks, I hope. And was there a shit head on the back of your face, Sam? Yeah, right there. Sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, and you can come see me.

Probably not, though, unless you already have a ticket to the sold-out show this Sunday night at Largo. Yeah, do whatever you can to get a ticket. I'd say try to scalp one if you can for like a thousand bucks. Because it's going to be a hell of a show.

Who else is on it? Johnny Hamm? Yes. It's Hamm vs. Sam. And Matt Bronger is in there. The three most handsome men in Hollywood. is Sam. Uh-oh. And Matt Bronger is in there, but, you know, he's just... The three most handsome men in Hollywood. That's how I like

to think of that show. That's why it sold out so fast. It's a sexy panel. Do you want... This is the part, Pete, where I say the three shitheads

and then the music comes in. Yeah. So if you have any last words, now's the time to throw them in. I'm so sweaty

it is hotter than here in here than usual yeah their culture is growing it's a hot one everywhere that's really what you wanted to end up on finish with

I got Activia in my drawers how do you spell drawers I tried to tweet it today I got Activia in my drawers. How do you spell drawers? I tried to tweet it today. Drawers. D-R-A-W-E-R-S. So like that, when you mean... Yeah, like drawers. Your drawers.

I spell it like drawers when I mean drawers. I've been watching a lot of The Wire, and it's affecting my tweets. Oh, hey, Kimo. That's my impression of Bubz. Oh, hey, Kimo. Oh, my impression of Bubz. Oh, hey, Kima. Oh, because it's black, we all bag away? No, because it's...

So vague and not specific. Oh, hey, Kima. I'm telling you, that's good. Go re-watch The Wire and laugh later. Because he said a person, her name was Kima. Yep. He'd see her, and he'd say, hey, Kima. Hey, Bubz.

That's hilarious to you. Oh, hey, Kima. Hey, bubs. That's hilarious to you. Oh, hey, Kima. Because there's some really clever stuff on that show. You probably... Hey, Kima. Lost your money. That's the quote you come away with from The Wire.

You're not even... Your quote isn't even... Omar listening. It's a great show. It's about drugs. It's about drugs and how they're trafficked. I thought it was like that Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell movie, Bird on a Wire.

But without the wire. Bird. But without the wire. I thought it was just about a bird. Alright, ready? Here we go. Go. Wrapping it up. In five. but without the wire I thought it was just about a bird alright ready here we go go wrapping it up in

five four three two oh hey Kimo I mean it's flawless I feel like he's behind me with that one tooth

badly blacked out oh hey Kimo as always this is a good time at the movies, man. Podcast listeners. As always. Don't help him out. Take him to the microphone.

You can't come back in two weeks. No way. As always. Dan the IT guy is a shithead. Heard that. The term food porn is a shithead. Heard that. The term food porn is a shithead. Agreed.

Was that yours, Sam? I don't know. He doesn't even need a microphone. And AIDS is a shithead. Now it's time for us to talk about your talk. He's a voltage view and

cowards make shit. But he's there is viewing prowess makes it foggy. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.