Doug Loves Movies - Pete Holmes, Rob Huebel, Kumail Nanjiani, and Matt Mira Guest

Episode Date: March 22, 2012

Doug welcomes comedians Pete Holmes, Rob Huebel, Kumail Nanjiani and Matt Mira to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, creamy babies, sticky sheets With 50 azotoc or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Just Doug Loves Movies Hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from the UCB Theater in Los Angeles on March 22, Oceans 12. Since last I spoke, you listened.

I did a movie interruption last night at CineFamily in L.A. of the classic M. Night Shyamalama Lama Signs. We watched Signs with the Duplass brothers and Ed Helms who are all participants in a film currently in theaters called Jeff Who Lives at Home, which

has references to the movie Signs, so that's why they chose that. We did a double feature. We also watched Jeff Who Lives at Home, but I didn't say anything during it other than laughing in my seat. That did a double feature. We also watched Jeff Who Lives at Home, but I didn't say anything during it other than laughing in my seat. That was a lot of fun. And then next Monday at CineFamily, MI4 GP!

That's right. A lot of people were silent like they don't know what that is. I sat in on two Master Pancake shows at the Ritz Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas, which is essentially like the movie interruption that I do, but it's those guys in Texas, and they do it.

And that was a lot of fun. It was part of nine glorious days that I spent, or maybe ten, in Austin, Texas for South by Southwest. I participated in events in the film, interactive, comedy, and music portions of the conference. They call it a conference for some reason. I saw 23 films while I was there. And will be sharing my feelings about them for months and possibly years to come.

I finally got to see past guest Gareth Evans' The Raid, Redemption, which was kick-ass-tastic. I think it opens soon here, and I can't imagine anyone who likes movies where there's fighting of both the gun and hand variety.

It'll make you so happy. It's really amazing. And then, let's really, it's really amazing. And then, let's see, I also recorded at Doug Lowe's Movies and two Benson Interruption shows at South By, which should be available now or soon, in the comedy album section of iTunes. And the Doug Lowe's Movies had audio issues,

so it sounded like the audience was dead. But, it sounded like they were not alive. But the crowd at the historic, I almost said esoteric, at the historic Esther's Follies, the crowd was great and we had a great time. The sound guy at Esther's Follies, not so great.

And so the audience wasn't really mic'd properly, so people have been writing to me on Twitter, where was the audience? I was like, they had fun. Don't worry about it. And from the corrections department on last week's ep, Moon River is not a movie.

It's a song that was in a movie. And yeah, I accepted Star Wars Episode 4, A New Hope, but then accepted Empire Strikes Back, which should have been Star Wars Episode 5, The Empire Strikes Back. Nitpicking is fun! Now it's time for Watch This, Not That. The number one movie in the country is 21 Jump

Street, which features past guests and hopefully future guests, Rob Riggle, picking up something disgusting with his mouth. The number two movie is Dr. Seuss' The Lorax, which does not figure past future guest Rob Riggle picking up something disgusting with his mouth. So watch

21 Jump Street, not the Lorax. This has been Watch This, Not That. Sunday, March 25th, I'll be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego at 420. Thursday, March 29th, I'll be at the Acme Comedy Company. I only play companies.

If your place isn't a company, I don't want to participate. In Minneapolis slash St. Paul, Sunday, April 1st, I'll be at Comedy on State in Madison, Wisconsin. Also at 420. All with Graham Millwood.

If you bring a name tag, you have a chance to play a Leonard Mullen game against him at the end of the show. And as Jay Hud would say, let's get it started. The prize bag tonight, holy crap, it's got some good stuff in it.

We've got, remember on Star Trek Next Generation? No, okay, moving on. When John Luke Picard turned into a Borg, and he was called Locutus. Locutus, something like that. Anyway, somebody brought a doll of that. An action figure.

That's a special kind of nerd that can give up such an amazing thing. Someone else brought a... I don't think he's in this movie, but for some reason he has the first version of the screenplay of bridesmaids when it was called untitled bridesmaids project and then it came down to the wire what do we call it bridesmaids or untitled project he also brought a shirt that is unaffiliated with him in any way, but it's nice.

It says The Hundreds on it. I don't know what that means. Maybe that's a ban. I brought, of course, a Weezer t-shirt because I still got Weezer swag left over. I still got swag from the lead-up, so this is an A-star in-ear headset. Looks pretty fancy. Yeah, seems nice. Someone else brought seven episodes from G4 of Ninja Warrior.

Just seven random episodes. Doug Benson Professional Humoridian, an Olivia Newton-John CD. I'd have her on the show. Gears of War 3, Xbox 360 game,

and another t-shirt that says, oh, look at that, it's the green Doug Loves Movies t-shirt. Available at astrecords.com. And, oh, you might recognize this gentleman's CD. He might be here.

He's pregnant and smoking on the back. I didn't know that. I've only seen it on iTunes, so I didn't know that was on the back cover. All right, so all that stuff is from these great guys, all current or former podcasters and friends of mine. Please welcome Matt Myra, Kumail Nanjiani, Rob Hubel, and Pete Holmes! Wow.

Wow. That lady was like, I'm not doing that. Way too excited. She's like, I don't know who that guy is. I'm not doing it. I already threw out a drunk girl from backstage tonight. Nicely done. I threw out a girl backstage in my face, and I was just like, oh, you can't come to the show.

You're drunk in my face, and this is just pre-show. You threw an employee of the theater out? Who was backstage? First of all, they use the term employee loosely around here. It's volunteers who pay to participate. Too real, too soon. Too ongoing. Great staff here.

That's Pete Holmes talking, and he has his CD in the bag called Impregnated with Wonder. That's right. Yeah. Blow a wonder baby right up you. I don't know why we're all not laughing at blow a wonder baby right up you. Because it doesn't make sense. What do you mean?

You couldn't settle for some laughing at that? It was okay, but I don't understand a group of people that see a stranger say blow a wonder baby right up you and you're like, I'll get the next one. What is wrong with your life? This bus isn't for me. Yeah, exactly. Nope exactly nope no there's some creeps on this bus blow a wonder baby up you yeah come on come on seriously what's wrong with everyone what are you in the audience in austin bob hubel bringing the positive energy yes that's what I'm looking for.

I'm here to hold us accountable. What a delightful grab bag. Yeah, it's full of good stuff. And it's a bag from, it's the official bag they give you for attending. They film a portion of South by Southwest. You weren't there this year. I didn't go there. I don't, you know.

You're too busy making movies in hawaii right no well that was with my best friend george clooney i was gonna ask you you're still bragging about that how much tail are you getting off of that think i will ever stop bragging about i will never even see him again he will never remember my name i'm gonna say that we're best friends forever. It's just like Eric LaSalle. ER, everybody. Are you friends with him?

Yeah, yeah. Go way back. Have you seen John Carter? No, I want to. Speaking of ER. So, let me ask you this. Wait, why speaking of ER John Carter? You know what?

You're not from this country, so there's no reason for you to know ER, the most successful television. John Carter? You know what? You're not from this country. I guess. So there's no reason for you to know ER, the most successful television program. Who's John Carter? I'm not from this country. So I don't know. I think that movie has the worst fucking name possible.

John Carter for a movie about aliens on Mars? I've been going off about it for weeks and now it's one of the biggest flops in years. It is. They did it, everyone. Hopefully they will learn their fucking lesson. Listen to Doug Love's movies and then name your movie.

Yeah. What were you going to call it? I was going to call it John Carter Ghost Protocol. I love it. I love it. Wait, are you also saying that you name movies

before they come out? You suggest... I'm just saying, when I see the trailer, and it's a guy fighting monsters on another planet, and then at the end it goes, John Carter. I am very vocal about how they've made a poor decision. It's a terrible thing. Can I say also, it's been done a million times.

I want to say, it's like if Transformers was called Sam Witwicky. Called what? That's the guy's name? Sam Witwicky. Called what? That's the guy's name? Sam Witwicky is his fucking name in this goddamn movie. I thought you made up a word and went sandwichy. Let me ask you. Or transforming hoagies and heroes. On Friday, are you going to go see Katniss Everdeen?

I want to. I fucking hate the names in Hunger Games. Every character has an annoying name. Katniss? Katniss Everdeen. Come on, seriously. I don't think she dies, though, because there's more than one book. How old is that super hot young girl?

I think she's about 23, 24 now. Oh, she is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves the Descendants. She does? I thought you were talking about the super young... She was asking me about Matthew Lillard. What?

What? The super young, hot girl in The Descendants. No, in Hunger Games. But there is... How old is that girl? She's... The little, little girl? No.

Yes, Rob. Yeah, the one in her underwear. Yeah. Wait, wait, Rob. Yeah, the one in her underwear. Wait, wait, wait. The Wonder Baby? Blow it up your Wonder Baby. I don't even remember it. Yes, you do. Own it and celebrate it. Wait, how old is...

She's over 18. I looked into it. Yeah, yeah. I know she's over 18. I wish I was joking. I said to Kumail, I said, is it okay that I had feelings for that girl? And he said, I Googled it. Yeah. I did.

You totally did. She's a really good, great actor. Yeah. She really is. She is a good actor. She screams underwater better than anybody. That was a great underwater scream scene. Yeah, yeah.

That was my idea. Did you have it out? That was my idea. You didn't great underwater scream scene. Yeah, yeah. Did you have it out? That was my idea. You didn't even have a scene with her, right? Not that you know of. George Clooney's hair length changed a lot in that movie. Did you know that? His hair length? Yeah. Alexander Payne listens to this

and you just fucked up, bro. Alex Payne is a huge fan of this podcast. I wasn't in charge of his hair length. I don't know why we're not laughing more at that. That was hilarious. Not for everybody. It's not just my jokes that I want to succeed. I'm not in charge of his hair length.

I love that you demand maximum laughter. Yes. I'm like the oxy-clean guy. I'm like, look at these goddamn stains coming out. Fucking wake up and buy this shit already. Have you seen the guy that fucking just paints tile and says he's cleaning it? What guy? The fucking grout guy.

He's like, it cleans it, but it's clearly paint. Fuck that guy. Oh, yeah, they just paint over it? Yeah. All I'm thinking of is the CLR ads. Those are pretty good. Calcium, lime, and rust. That shit will fuck calcium, lime, and rust right in the ass.

Over and over and over. And blow a Wonder Baby up its... I don't know how. Thank you. Thank you. I was curious what any of this had to do with movies. John Carter. I'm double checking.

I'm pretty sure. My name's Doug. I make movies. John Carter. John Connor, John Coffey. This is a fun game, can it stop? You know what was great? I was about to bring that point home, and in a two-second sidebar,

that's when you chose to silence me. It was perfect timing. It was very good. The saints came off, or whatever you yell. They're all Jesus names, is what I'm saying. Jesus Christ, that's what I'm saying. JC, it's the oldest trick in the book. The Bible.

It's the oldest trick in the New Testament. See, that went too right. It does trick everybody into not going. They figured out that John Carter meant JC, so they were like, oh, I pass on that. Jim Caviezel. Another one. You played John Carter, right? You have a passion for the Christ.

I do have a passion. Has anyone seen John Carter in this room? Really? It looks pretty good. Really? Is it? Is it like watching someone else play a video game? Yes or no? He said good. That sounds terrible. A lot of people like those endless meandering action scenes. It's like watching somebody play a video game with his shirt off.

Yeah. Did anyone see Act of Valor? No one? There's no Americans here. This crowd hates America. You hate America. I wasn't born here. What's your excuse? I don't know. That movie's. I wasn't born here. What's your excuse?

That movie's got real Navy SEALs, you assholes. Yeah, come on. Respect. I haven't even heard of it. I just saw a movie with real actors. What do you mean

you haven't heard of it? It's like a bunch of Navy SEALs acting sweaty and doing cool stuff. Wait, wait, wait. Did you see it? No.

But that's because I'm not like 16 and thinking about joining the Navy anymore. I'm going to watch it and assess the hair length of all of those seals. I did see a movie with real life actual porn stars recently. What was it? A porn movie?

I don't know the names anymore. What do you mean? We all really want to know about the movie. When you bring up something you don't know the names anymore. What do you mean? Huh? Yeah, what is that? We all really want to know about the movie you didn't actually watch. Yeah, when you bring up something you don't know anything about. I saw a movie that I don't remember anything about. Porn stars. Real life actual porn stars, I said. In the movie fucking?

Yeah. Okay, there's these movies you can get. If you go online, it's full of it. There's attractive women with low self-esteem and guys being mean to them. Wait, attractive women? Because I'm watching different porn. Yeah, get it together. And guys being mean to them. That is the sweetest

definition of porn ever. It's like a five-year-old walking in on porn. It's like pretty ladies and a mean man with a skin sword. Shoving it in. He is less than gentle. And then he frosted her face.

I sing. He frosted it. Stop it, Pete. He frosted her face. Stop it. That's where you came from, boy. Stop it. Quit ad-libbing the next E-Trade baby spot.

Oh, man in heaven. Do they ever give you shit about anything that you say or do? That's a great question. Let's find out the day after this comes out. He's waiting for that shoe to drop. It hasn't happened so far. We had some

discussions about it because it is tricky to be out there doing shows. Like Tracy Morgan got in trouble doing just a show in front of a live audience and what's his name the guy that got kicked off the oscars brett ratner he was just like in a q a after a movie you can't say that at the arc light yeah but don't they'll kick you out what did he say he said rehearsal is for faggots yeah he should have gotten kicked out that's a lot to say they're very prepared yeah after he said it did he look to the ground go I don't know why you're all not laughing at rehearsal it's for faggots that shit's hilarious apparently there's some it's just in the room if it was quiet

or people booed that's all that's all it deserved you I mean, I'm still happy he didn't. Because the Oscars, after they kicked him out, it was one of the best ones ever. It's a podcast. Doug made a sour face. Did you see A Thousand Words? I can only stay for about $4.90. Did anyone in here see it?

I did not see that, but the premise... No one saw this? That's already out? The premise is exquisite. Take one of the fastest talking, most entertaining comedians of all time, and put him in a movie where he's not allowed to speak. Yes.

Because what we've always loved about Eddie Murphy for all this time is his gesticulating spoiler alert 573 of the words are it's a weird picture he's like i only have a thousand words are you really gonna do 573 yes that was liberating i pointed to the crowd 173, yes. That was liberating. I pointed at the crowd and yelled, don't start 99 bottles of beer on the wall around Pete. He will see it through. That was such a great gig for you.

I know you're joking, but that changes my body temperature when you make that joke. Like I'm filled with fear and sweat. I just found out recently from you that there was a previous E-Trade baby before you. I didn't even know that there was an E-Trade baby. I wanted that job. I auditioned for that.

Did you? Yeah. I heard that I got close. I bet you did. I bet you did. But when I saw you doing it, I was like, oh, that guy's meant to be. Well, I mean, you know, he gets E-Trade, you get the Descendants. It's about even.

They wanted an E-Trade baby that will say something other than things about George Clooney. Damn it. That's it. I should just go. How are you doing so far? If somebody's going to leave, are you going to interview the crowd? Here we go. I'm fascinated.

Do you know those people? No. It's creeping me out how much you're going to that guy. It's terrifying. No, I just, I don't know. She didn't whoop for me when I came out, and everybody next to her did. She just pointed at you.

The podcast audience is like... They're like, fast forward to more porn talk. When's that baby going to say, flossed at his face again? The baby washed it that way in his face again? The baby flossed in that lady's face. The mean man.

E-Trade baby. Stop fucking doing that. Yeah, don't do that. You're just going to make him more paranoid. That's Matt Myra, by the way. I don't know if I've

introduced him properly. What lucrative voiceover deals do you have that I can ruin? Tell me. I don't know if I've introduced him properly. What lucrative voiceover deals do you have that I can ruin? Tell me. I'm kidding. I love you, Matt. You're doing great.

Now, Matt has had some issues in the past with the strategy of the Leonard Moulton game. Do you think you know how it works now? I'm coming off a win. Are you confident? I'm coming off a win. You won last time? Yeah, I won last time. I won last time, too. Oh, gauntlet thrown. I won last time, too. Oh, no. Gauntlet thrown. Pete has never won.

Nope. Nope. One time I was about to win, and I yelled out the answer before. Like, I should have not said the answer. Oh, yeah. I'm still unclear as to why I lost. I don't know what's happening. If you'd like to lose but see whatever you brought up on stage, give it to me.

Because it's going to be a disappointing romp. It could be a movie that I was in. I've never been in a movie, and I wouldn't have. You might be the first person, other than T.J. Miller, to have people recoil when you try to take their name tag. Like thinking, I would rather not be played for at all than have this guy play for me. Denver, you dare! Doug! Doug! Doug! Yeah, the movie's too, man! Yeah, there it was. There it was. There it was.

Shall we play a game or two? Let's play. Let's do it. Let's start with it real quick. Low stakes, build a title. There's no, you know, the winner just gets to go first in Leonard Maltin, so don't panic or anything. We'll start down here with you, Rob, and go across.

The starter title suggested on Twitter by Fart Pants McGee is Smokey and the Bandit. So you need to come up with a movie that ends in Smokey and the Bandit. So you need to come up with a movie that ends in Smokey or Smoke and begins with Bandit or... What? Oh yeah, Bandit and the Smokey. That was a huge movie. Fucking fart pants, man.

Smokey and the Bandit 2. I don't know what this part of the game is. Well, here's what you can try. Can you say pass? No. Pass. Have you ever played this game before? No, I don't know what this is.

Okay. I don't know what it is either. I think Rob might have played it before. I've never. Smokey. I'm going to pass too. Kamau? All right, so they're out, in other words.

Okay, could you explain the game to us? Oh, wait. I didn't know that was an option well you said this is awesome i would love it if we just went through all four of you and no one knew what to do well and then we just move on well you said made negative sense what is it we're starting with smoking the bandit you need to make the title longer by adding another movie title to it using the words in that title. I can go first and then

they'll get it. I have one. Let's do that. Let's give everybody a redo. Everybody's back in. We'll start with Pete. Redo the fake Adam Sandler movie from Funny People. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Stop thanking me.

Are you even looking at me? Looking through you Weird eye contact guy So it would be Smokey and the Bandit Up and Smokey and the Bandit Yes Up and Smokey and the Bandit

Alright well that's the only one That's the only one That could possibly exist In the universe No but now You get to go You get to come up with a title That ends in up

Yeah Or begins With Bandit Oh god I don't like or it can you think of any movie that starts with the word it the movie it any movie with that wasn't for television wasn't that steven spielberg team spielberg king king steven king tv thing yeah um it like a longer title that begins with it i'm passing because all right TV thing? Yeah. It. Like a longer title that begins with it.

I'm passing because I don't like it. All right, you're out again. You know, the great thing about second chances is they never work out. Matt? Up in Smokey

and the Bandit Reigns. It's not a movie. It Reigns? Sure. I mean, Hard Rain was a movie. Why not It Rains? Camille?

It Waits. That's a real movie. Good. It Waits? Yeah. No Pakistani movies, please. Let me do it again. No, it is.

It Waits. What is it waiting for? Well, it's a terrible monster movie. Wait. Do over. I, do over. I'm back in. Can you just pick who goes first? Is this what this is determining, who goes first?

Yeah, it waits is the right one. It's an exercise to embarrass you. Pixar's, wait, stop it. And Smokey and the Bandit. Go. No, so it waits. So now we need one that ends in up or begins with I forgot we were playing I was like huh Kumail's gonna win this with a movie I don't even know exists wait it's just

free I might do a correction next week the straight divin it's a straight to straight to fit that's not that hurts me street That's like people who try to do TV movies. Get the fuck out of here with your Brian song. That's a good movie, man. That's a really good movie. If you're a guy that needs

to have a good cry and be able to explain it away. You cried during The Descendants? Fuck yeah, I cried. When he was leaving Clooney. You were flying away from the islands. Hawaii and Clooney?

That's fucking double pay dirt, dude. This is like five years ago. Big deal. What's happening? Pete, are you doing something? I was thinking, man. It's so unpleasant.

Yeah. Really just grinding my gears over here. This is awesome because we just did last week at South by Southwest. The four guys were so good at it. The titles were gigantic. They were super long and it took too long. Yeah. And this is like the exact opposite of that.

It's still taking a long time. Yeah. If we have one thing that they have. No, it's over. Kamil's our winner. Yay! Thank you, Kamil. yeah Boris jump in the air but you could have gone tin cup and smoke like you guys just aren't familiar enough with I don't know what you do with weights weights

yeah I don't think there's any weights Weight training with some guy with a onesie. Ponytail. The gazelle guy. What's his name? The gazelle guy? What's his name? You know who that is. Did you guys bring name tags?

Look at that. A shirt. There's a... Somebody told me on Twitter, you could just look around the room and just make stuff up and we wouldn't know the difference. Oh, Simon and Theodore.

Theodore. Abigail. There's a copy of Hustler. But there's the thing that says Tom and Anthony's got his name across a picture of Jeff Bridges and Justin. Oh, you guys are all from Big Lebowski. Spencer is

What's weird is they didn't come together. Yeah, just happened to show up together. Justin is... So yeah, so go grab a name tag, you guys, quickly. Oh, it's Peter. Bring it right back. Oh. I did it so fast.

Just toss the Cala Frisbee. Ultimate Frisbee, bitches. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. How many times have you been picked now? Three times? All right. Well, Matt's won before, so he might be able to bring it home for you.

Looks like you found some Chick-fil-A with no actual any food or drink in it. Yeah, but... But it says Caroline on it. Nice. Oh, you have a Chick-fil-A box. Caroline, are you closed on Sundays also? Nailed it! Fuck you, podcast audience!

I did so much thinking. What do you have there, Kumail? Mat. And it's like a belt. It's like a WWF wrestling belt. Fighting wrestling belt. Yeah, it's old school WWF wrestling belt fighting belt old school WWF

shit's not real it's a federation and he just stuck a piece of tape on there nobody fought for this and wrote Matt this was like

four UPCs from like Corn Pops or something that's what that shit is it's pretty real I think I got a real wrestling belt and what do you have there Pete

look I picked a Peter means dick I picked a Peter. Means dick. I picked a fellow Peter and I have an R2-D2 sparkly shirt. Does he get to keep that? What's that? Whoa.

You get to keep the shirt? Do I? That's what he says. I do? It's a step up from the current fact. It's some shirt he doesn't want. You made it?

That's awesome. You made an R2-D2 shirt? It's pretty rad, man. Did you get permission from George Lucas? Because that guy keeps his shit tight He listens to this podcast, bro And I'm going to describe your face George Lucas, have you come to LA?

This guy, he's got glasses Hoodie Find him Yep You think he's got a mustache and a hoodie? You'll find him This is an amazing job by the way the t-shirt looks amazing I'm concerned that after a wash the sparklies will come off yep that shrug means they definitely fucking you're making a bad product

theater you know that no it's a good product it comes off onto all your other clothes you just look like you were in a fight with gandalf after you throw this in the wash we all didn't think that sparkly riff would go so well doug thanks for letting us do it he's having two more names that are j and c you know how to assassinate me you son of a i'm serious I like that part of the show. Jimmy Carter. Johnny Cocksucker. Jimmy Connors.

Jim Carrey. Oh, Jim Camari. It doesn't work unless they're fictional hero characters. All right, it doesn't work at all. Why, because Jim Carrey's a real hero? Wow, you suddenly have standards about which Jaycees. That's true. Kumail's going to start us off.

What's that? I was hoping this would smell like Chick-fil-A, but it doesn't. No, it's a drink carrier. Their drinks smell, too. Chick-fil-A. I'd like some chicken soda. You know that grease that come off that sweet chicken? Put it in a cup.

I'd like some chicken broth on ice, please. Mainline, tomorrow's not coming. All right, so Kumail gets to pick a category, and then we'll go to Matt just to give him a chance to speak. It's okay, people. And Rob. You know, I think we should get some sort of independent firm

to let us know who talked the most during this episode. Even with my opening monologue, I'd probably come in second or third. Increase that mon, bro. Celebrating a birthday today, Kumail are the great Holly Hunter

and the great William Hurt and I will tell you ahead of time that their categories are separate but they both star in broadcast news

and they must have the whole time on the set they must have been like we have the same knowledge on people they're in a movie

called broadcast news I'm just saying since they both celebrated birthday today and they're both knowledge on people? They're in a movie called Broadcast. I'm just saying, since they both celebrated birthday today and they're both category options, that that movie won't come up

because that would be way too obvious. And then your third choice, other than Holly Hunter and William Hurt, are Jennifer Lawrence of the upcoming Katniss Everdeen movie.

Jennifer Love Lawrence? He's so pleased with himself. That joke is right up my own alley. I love that one. And Doug laughed at it so innocently. He was like, despite himself. You wanted to hate it. But that was a moment for just us.

No one else wanted it. I was laughing about how much I hated it. But she, Jennifer Lawrence, recently, I don't know if you guys visit Rotten Tomatoes but she named her top five favorite films of all time whoa and that's that's the category no pre guessing Pete oh sorry it's her favorite movies yeah how old is she just so I know what era of movies she's probably talking about I think she's around

23, 24 as established earlier in the show. I'll go with Jennifer Lovelore. Yes. Alright. I'm going to give you the dates for three out of the five movies she named so you get to pick the year. That might narrow it down for you. 1972,

1998, or 2003. Wow. Those are her favorite movies. They're from those years. Yeah, 1998, or 2003? Ugh. Wow, those are her favorite movies. They're from those years. Yeah, yeah. She goes all the way back to... 72. Wide net. I'll go with 2003. Okay. Smart way to play. Somebody actually wooed for 2003. That's when

I was born! A lot of nine-year-olds in the crowd. Frosting the face. Two and a half stars from Leonard Maltin for this movie. She has terrible taste.

He says that the movie never quite takes off. And he also says that Andy Dick turns up. Which is never really a compliment to say so-and-so turns up. I can't believe that movie never took off with Andy Dick.

2003, two and a half stars, one of Jennifer Love Lawrence's favorite movies, and Leonard lists 11 names. So how many names you think you you get it in out of 11? Okay. 2003. Was 2003 after September 11th? I'm pretty sure there's been a September 11th

every year. It's not like February 29th. It should be. It's February 29th. Every four. That should be the new February 29. Every four years we should have a September 11. Let's have February 29 every year. Show those terrorists and skip it every three out of every four years. I'll go with three names.

Jesus Christ. Wow. That's a strong opening bid. I think you understand how the game works. I think I might know what the movie is. Oh, okay. You realize one of those names is Andy Dick. Can I guess? Maybe not.

No, you have to wait for me to say, don't make the mistake I made. Don't say anything yet. Now we go to Matt, Myra, who gets to bid lower or say name it. I'm going to say name it. Absolutely. So I'll give you the three names. Okay. And then you tell me.

You're just going to name it? You're just going to name it? No, no, go ahead. And then you tell me what the movie is. If it's not the movie I'm thinking of, then I have no shot at it. Absolutely. Me? So yeah, so I'll give you the three names. Okay. And then you tell me. You're just going to name it? You're just going to name it? No, no, go ahead. And then you tell me what the movie is. If it's not the movie I'm thinking of, then I have no shot at it. I think you have a good shot. I don't know why you'd be thinking of any particular movie, because Andy Dick is in most of them.

But here's your three names. Snoop Dogg, Harv Presnell, and Craig Kilborn. Okay, it's old school. That's correct. Damn. Not a big deal, you guys. Thatbourne. Okay, it's old school. That's correct. Damn. Not a big deal. That is how you do it. Damn it.

Not a big deal. I've been here before, you know. I know how this goes. Why would Leonard Maltz say that movie never takes off? Because that's his opinion. He's a fucking dummy then. I love old school. That movie's never on the tarmac.

It's super... Wait, what does Andy Dick do in that movie? He does blowjob classes. Yeah. And Craig Kilborn. Although Craig Kilborn is the only name you need. He hasn't been in many movies. He does blowjob classes too.

But that's today. I can't even say. That's what I was trying to apply. That was the implication. That was like when Craig at the corner that was when that was the implication like when Craig Kilbourne like like quit the Daily Show was like yeah I'm gonna go do movie yeah and then you're like oh he might he might do it he might make it anyway he was a pretty effective bad guy like in two movies and then he stopped doing that was the other he just likes to retire from shit what

was the other movie is about I think he was in Benchwarmers, maybe? Yeah? One guy has got my back on that. Thank you, sir. That's Craig Gilbert. He's also got a Benchwarmers t-shirt on. Thank you, Rob Schneider. By the way, getting lost in all of this

is that Old School is one of her five favorite movies. Does she know how many movies there are? There's a lot of movies. her five favorite movies did she know how many movies there are it way you gotta read it she says it's funny that it will Farrell's running down the street naked you know it's yeah my favorite my favorite performer in old school is Eddie Pepitone yeah he's great yeah he's great and they don't let him say anything but he's great he already length he's one of the several guys that has a cinder block tied to his dick and has to drop it off of a side of a thing.

Cordry, I don't think, has any lines either. It's a fun movie. It's a great movie. Agreed. Yeah. Matt Walsh is in it? Moving on. Luke Wilson is in it.

It's not Tell Us Everything You Know About Old School Game. Although that is a great game. We just all sit and just chime in what we know about the movie. Sean William Scott, man. It was shot

over 45 days. I don't know that. You know what's funny? I know it's a bit. I was instantly interested. I was like, it was? They had to burn

four mascot costumes shooting that scene. Okay. I liked it. Courtesy. Courtesy. No. Okay. I liked it. Courtesy. Courtesy noise. That was the joke alarm. I have that on my iPhone.

Goes off whenever it thinks I made a joke. Okay. So Matt challenged so we'll start with Rob and then we'll go towards Matt. And Rob, you get to pick a category.

You're just keeping it away from me. Would you like the King of Pancakes category, the number one movie 10 years ago to this very day at the American box office? Today, September 11th. No, February 29th. Okay. Two Oceans 12.

10 years ago today. Or four-letter movies. That's movies with four letters in the title, like SWAT, Paul, Milk. What are some other examples of four-letter movies? You're going to trick me and make me say one of them. And then My Wife, which is movies where a female actress

is directed by her own husband. I can't stop saying my wife now. This is going to ruin my week. Somebody, I haven't done it yet, but somebody suggested, my slice, and that's movies that take place in a pizza restaurant.

My friend Owen Burke trained his daughter, who at the time was like two years old. Pretty much the first word she said was my wife and then he trained her to tag it with Bruno which is not the right movie which is not yeah she's like my wife which category do you like Rob my? My wife? The four-letter words. Okay. It's a four-letter title. You get to pick from a couple different years.

Would you like 1985 or 2004? Fucking four, buddy. Okay. Most recent. It's usually what people do. That's why I stopped giving choices on the years. Caroline, I dedicate this answer to you. Wow, you're like a baseball player pointing into the stands.

As he approaches shortstop. Three and a half stars. That's the wrong time to do it. Wouldn't that be weird? He's walking out there to play between bases. All right, three and a half stars from Leonard for this movie that has four letters in the title. Wait, what does Leonard Maltin give three and a half out of what? Four?

Out of four, yes. Wow, he really... Out of a scale of bomb to four. And he says about this movie that it's the story of a callow prince. And that he also says about it that it's a spectacular production about a callow prince from 2004 three and a half stars Leonard lists 11 names

how many names do you think you can get it in Rob Hubel 11 I'm just joking when does Children's Hospital come back pretty soon they're editing right now yeah thank you I think May maybe June so what's your bid four names whoa interesting I already know what it is we go to Matt how many movies were in 2004 were about callow princess yeah? They were all spectacular productions.

I'll go three. Matt's going three, Kumail. This is your chance to just take down the whole thing and keep Pete from ever getting to participate. Name that movie! Guys, I don't come here for the game. I come here for the friends.

The saddest, most sincere thing. I come here because I like you guys. It just starts raining on me. Hey, Pete, it's raining on you, buddy. Just me. But I just want to hang out, Rob. Catch this baseball. And it just drops to the floor.

Three and a half stars from 2004. Callow Prince. Did you just do a rewrite from Drop to the Floor to hit you in the face? I had a tough choice to make because he mimed it hitting him in the face. I'm sorry I asked. Spectacular production. But people couldn't see that at home.

And your three names are... So I could have sold them out and not said anything. Julie Christie. Or honored the live audience and pointed out. Saffron Burroughs. Denver! And I didn't even know she was in this. Rose Byrne.

She's been in a lot of things lately. I'm going to say Luck. The Dustin Hoffman TV show. That is a terrific guess. It's got four letters in it the one that got sure does four letters three dead horses too many horses died does anybody think they know what it is Troy is correct two nerds in the crowd nerds but gladiator film lovers Troy the. The movie's called Troy. And that means Kumail is our winner. I'm so relieved I didn't have to play. Pete, what do you have to say?

Can you believe this happened to you? Why does Leonard Munger love Troy? No one fucking liked that movie. Hated old school love Troy. Where Brad Pitt jumped up in the air and went around and stabbed the guy. That was good. And he gets his heel cut. That was awesome. Is that the one with Rosario Dawson?

Or is she in the other one? She was in Alexander with Colin Farrell, I think. If you don't know Achilles, at some point he's going to get his Achilles heel cut. Diane Kruger was the man. Oh, she's very attractive. I'd watch it again and just see Rose Byrne. I didn't know she was in it. She's always good.

I liked her running around in her underwear for no reason in X-Men First Class. Why were none of those movies Jaws? Oh, is that what you were banking on? Yeah, but I know. I thought it was going to be Blow. The 2004 version of Jaws. You can't get too attached to a specific title in this game. I thought it was going to be It Waits.

I don't know how to count either. Oh, hell. Let's get Pete. Who'd you play for? You played for Peter. I played for Peter. Where's Peter at? Peter, can you come over here and write down a shithead for me to name at the end of the

program? Just write it here in that blank space. And where's the Chick-fil-A girl, Caroline? Caroline, here she comes. Caroline, am I pronouncing it right? She's super psyched that I won. You didn't win. You didn't win, but she gets win but she got one shit head I thank you so much shit head and be proud of you for your efforts I fucking won no I won yeah I won I won you don't even know how to win I'm pretty sure who is that okay I don't

know who that other person is oh and, and... Now just anybody's going to walk up here? No, that's... That's Calla with the frisbee, yeah. This is the third time someone's played for her. How many grams is this frisbee? What is it? 175. 175, well...

I was just impressed she had a guess. I don't know what the fucking frisbee weighs. Wow, you're writing a long one. What is going on here? Call me Ishmael. Is that the entire movie, Dick? It's like she's writing a whole book, yeah. It's the only first line I could think of

from a book. She's not writing John Carter. Oh my god, she really is still going, you guys. This is at least 20 words. You're gonna read it, turn ghost white, turn to the crowd and be like, she's holding us ransom. There you go. Here's your frisbee.

There are snipers everywhere. This is someone you encountered in your life and you want to call her a shithead. This is the most personal shithead. Okay. This is the most personal shithead because she totally clearly doesn't know

this person. Is she still alive or have you murdered her? Let's leave a little mystery. Yeah, we'll find out. You guys got plugs? I got plugs. I'm going to be taping

at Douglas Movies at Flappers in Burbank on Thursday, April 5th at 10 p.m. and I'll be doing stand-up and other stuff right here at UCB in L.A. at 8 p. Burbank on Thursday, April 5th at 10 p.m. And I'll be doing stand-up and other stuff right here at UCB in L.A. at 8 p.m. on Friday, April 6th.

Go to DouglasMovies.com. Rob. Children's Hospital. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Oh, yeah. With Steve Carell and Keira Knightley.

That movie looks awesome. Yeah. I think I'm in it for two seconds, but it's going to be a cool movie. Yeah. We need an End of the World movie right now because we're approaching it.

Yeah. December 21. When does this go up? December 22. I don't know if it's going to be out, though. No, this will be out Friday. Okay. Come see The Nerdist in Atlanta on Saturday, and then the week after on Friday we'll be in Minnesota.

Nice. And then watch Attack of the Friday we'll be in Minnesota. Nice. And then watch Attack of the Show weekdays at 7 on G4. Kumail? You all have DirecTV. You all have DirecTV, don't you? The Indoor Kids. It's a video game podcast I do with my wife. Your wife! Your wife!

Bruno! You do it with your wife, Bruno? It's on Nerdist.com. If you're in Australia, I'm doing two weeks of shows for the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Why are you laughing like podcasts don't get that far? I don't know. I'm going to be there with my wife.

Just more desperate each time. My wife! Bruno! Yeah, Australia likes podcasts. Oh, on May 4th to May 6th in Chicago at the Up Comedy Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that comedy club with all the balloons attached to it

that floats away. There's a stillbirth in the beginning of the clip. Oh, sorry, miscarriage. Is that what you want? Is that what you people want? They show them flushing, miscarriage. Is that what you want? Is that what you people want? They show them flushing, okay? Pretty sure. I don't know what's happening, but I'm not going to worry about it.

She just lost the baby. I don't know if she birthed it. Pete, what do you got? Can I have my plugs introduced with a miscarriage joke? My podcast is called You Made It Weird. Thank you. Thank you very much. Doug did it. Start with that

episode. That's a great one. Yeah, that's a fun one to listen to. It's on iTunes. It's also available on How come I haven't been on that podcast? We talk backstage. You're going to do it. We'll mostly talk about Clooney's hair length, though. I know that's coming at you. We're also doing a live one April

7th, which is coming up in New York City at the Gramercy Theater, 10 p.m. Please come to that. Jim Gaffigan, Michael Ian Black. We're going to try and get some other fun people for that. Wow, Gramercy Theater and those guys. Done it already. So am I.

You son of a bitch. Great theater, great guests. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Just need a good host and theater, great guests. Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. Just need a good host and you'll be good. Why aren't we all laughing? That was a great burn.

I honestly thought that was going to crush so hard that you'd have to be like, good night. No, people like you, Pete. I know, but here we are. Settle down.

People that like me know I like people They like you against their better judgment. I know. Oh, follow me on Twitter, Pete Holmes with a Z. I'm less loud on Twitter.

It's all caps. He writes in all caps. His tweets are sans annoying laugh. I'm at Kamel N. I'll just promote my Kamel N. Okay. And Matt's Matt Myra with two R's. No, not two R's.

Just one? One R. I'm not Dave Miro. Let me fix that. But two T's though, right? yeah okay i don't like this we're just going online and plugging our fucking twitters i don't like that don't follow me ah rob hubel comedian who could spell hubel anyway on the first try right my best friend george glooney laser accuracy that was never get old

will never get old thanks you guys let's hear it for my guess oh who was this I didn't give away the prizes to anyone who was the winner oh yeah Matt wins. There you go. Matt's the winner. Congratulations, Matt. And as always, Casey Desmond is a shithead. Paul Reiser is a shithead. And the lady who read the title cards out loud to her teenage daughter

during The Artist is a shithead. Her daughter is not real is a shithead. Her daughter is crying.