Doug Loves Movies - Rachel Bloom, Matt Besser and Dustin Ybarra guest

Episode Date: January 4, 2017

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in LA, Doug welcomes Rachel Bloom, Matt Besser and Dustin Ybarra to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds With 50 azepop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Because Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and you know the deal. I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies.

See, I knew I could give you a slightly different cue, and you guys would still be professional. I don't know what's with all the wrinkling of candy wrappers or something over there. What is that you're eating? You're eating Cheetos? In the front fucking row? I don't sell Cheetos at the movies, my friend, because they are too noisy.

We're coming to you once again, and for the first time in 2017, from the Nerd Melt showroom at Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, California! Hollywood! Hollywood, the dream factory. And then more words. Right? That's like how

Pretty Woman begins that way, I think. You just hear a guy on the street corner, Hollywood! Dream Factory! Uh... Horror Farm! Oh, this movie got so dark

all of a sudden. Like, that movie was originally called 3000, because that's the amount he pays her to fuck him for a week, and it was a was a drama like they added the comedy later they added all that great comedy it's a pretty woman oh gary marshall just one of the many we lost last year it's tuesday january 3rd. Was everyone's resolution... What'd I say? 16? God damn it. Probably still writing that on my checks as well.

Oh, fuck. All right, let's... We'll edit around this. It's Tuesday, January 3rd, 2014. We'll edit around this. It's Tuesday, January 3rd, 2014. Was anybody's resolution to make a kick-ass name tag? I think maybe it was.

We got about the same number as usual. But there's Brookback Mountain. That is finally bring a woman into the equation in the Brookback Mountain. That is finally bring a woman into the equation in the Brokeback Mountain story. Byron's song instead of Brian's song. You do know, of course, that that is a TV movie. Yeah, so better luck next time.

I don't tell my guests which name takes a pick. You could get picked. There could be somebody. Some people, just the idea of Brian's song just makes people start crying. Becca to the future though, you're sitting right next to a great name tag.

What is it? Instead of Hellraiser, Michelle Razor? I like it. And I like you and your, is that your husband next to you? Boyfriend? Husband? Yeah, you guys have little similar handles on your name tags. They're chopsticks. Chopsticks, okay. Settle down.

You don't have to both yell at me at the same time by your goddamn chopsticks. The what code? The Davidi? Vici? The Davidi? Davidi? David-chi codei-vitch-ee? Da-vid-i-vitch-ee. Da-vid-i-vitch-ee code. Da-da-vid-i-vitch-ee code.

All right, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Popstar never stopped poppin'. What's your name? Nick. Nick. Nick stop, Nick stopping. Nick stop, Nick stopping? All right, if that makes sense to you

that's all that matters. Brandon and Robin? Instead of Batman? Could have been Batman and Brandon. They really same amount of work either way. Lots of little ones over there I can't read.

Somebody with a fucking actual video screen that says Austin Trelia? Because your name's Austin? Wow. Good work. What's going to happen when it's got dollar bills shooting out of it? Do you think I have

strippers on the show tonight? Cobblivian? Your name is Cobb? Yes, sir. Last name? Yes, sir. Good. My first name's Korn.

It's a wonderful Lawrence? Okay. Okay. You're just in time with a holiday-themed name tag. I've covered all the ones I can read. You guys have small ones over there. La La Land? You changed to Lana Land? Okay, Lana.

That would be the one that I would pick. I'm obsessed with La La Land Land How many times you seen it? Twice Was I looking at you? I'm talking to Lana Land This fucking guy Felt like you were looking at me But I'm it too also

Lana You haven't seen it? Felt like you were looking at me. But I'm it too also. Lana? You haven't seen it? Oh yeah. I think the spirit of Prince is in me. Because that guy was good at kicking over a mic stand and then going, no, wait a second, I need that. Great job to all the name tag bringers. Doug Pluggs, Austin,

Texas, this Saturday at 4.20, it's a last minute thing. I was like, it's winter, where should I go? I'll go back to Austin. Cap City Comedy Club, this Saturday. Oxnard, California. Oxnard? Oxnard Blues is one of my favorite movies.

Oxnard, California has a stand-up show with me in it, according to this piece of paper, at Levity Live. There's a club out there called levity live because a lot of people like their levity passed away uh that's on tuesday january 10th bring your name tags even though it's a stand-up show baseball jordan will be there with his baseball i'm sure and uh sunday january 15th i'm interrupting Shades of Grey at the Castro Theater in San Francisco as part of SF Sketch Fest.

SFSketchFest.com or go to, you know, that other site that I like to mention more than once with a long pause in between. And be sure to listen to Douglas Minis if you want to hear my voice

and opinions on movies uninterrupted by the likes of Pete Holmes and T.J. Miller and did you think I was going to say Bert Kreischer? Because I wasn't. Because he's become one of the most polite and well-mannered guests

that I have. I know, right? I shouldn't even be saying this out loud. He might be listening to this going, what do you mean I changed? I thought I was always my normal, robust self. 221, I think he got down to, on the bird is fat, Tom is fat.

I think they both got out of obese and into just overweight. So good for both of them. But also, the other reason to listen to Douglas' minis is because I have a new game that I play on there where each mini I make is named after a motion picture. It's not necessarily one I love or anything. It just has something to do with what happens

in that episode. So when a new mini plops, the first tweet to me on Twitter with the hashtag Douglas Minis that correctly guesses why, you know, in my mind. You may have another reason that's great, but why I

chose that a particular movie as a title for the episode that person wins a prize yeah we'll work we'll work that shit out between me and the winner Everett Scott SCP was the first winner so congratulations to him that's douglosmovies.com see I filled that space

with information which I don't know how much more entertaining that is than silence and weird laughing from the corrections department, Shrek the Third is Justin Timberlake's highest grossing movie after Inflation Adjustment,

followed by Trolls, and then Yogi Bear and Teacher. Sorry, Bad Teacher. Bad Teacher is the sequel to Teacher. There's a movie about a person that was very good at what they do. Also, Box Office Mojo considers Justin Timberlake's role

in Shrek the Third to be a bit part or a cameo. Yeah, and some guy on Twitter was telling me otherwise. He was like, he's in that whole goddamn movie. I'm not really a Shrek person. You know what I like? Puss in Boots.

Just cause he's so sexy. What else did I wanna say before? I think I got everything. Oh, Emil Hirsch Watch continues. I think I got everything. Oh! Emile Hirsch Watch continues. He's not here tonight. But I've got amazing guests, and I've got amazing Emile Hirsch questions that I'm going to ask them.

The prize bag, I bought a big bag that I got from somewhere. I don't even know where I got it, but it's a plain brown bag, but inside of that is a Doug Loves Movies t-shirt, and yeah, you don't have to cheer for these weird items.

A dude in Sacramento has written a couple of books about zombies. His name is J.K. Norrie, N-O-R-R-Y, and this one's called Zombies are the First Zombie. And then and then there's little

post-it things inside the book because apparently I get mentioned a couple of times in both of this gentleman's novels. I'll just read a little passage to you. Doug Benson was very gracious in fielding my inquiry

and very prompt in his response. He's a busy guy with his Doug Loves Movies and Getting Doug With High podcast and his comedy. Doug's comedy was needed in this world and he let it be. Good thing. That would have been a tough chapter to

cut. Thanks so much, Doug. What is this? This isn't part of a story. Oh, I see. This is the fucking thank yous or whatever. Yeah, this is the acknowledgements

is the word we use, Beowulf. And at the end of a bunch more acknowledgements, it says, now on with the story. But then I'm in the story, so now, this is exciting. I'm in the story once, and let's see how I pop up in the story. Uh. For some reason, the cruise ship had been rerouted,

and they had offered Doug a ridiculous amount of money to keep doing two shows a night for as long as they would be waylaid. Well, I've obviously come up earlier in this somewhere. If you're just calling me Doug... Doug didn't know if that was her real name, and he didn't care. This is about a girl named Candy.

Fans had been handing him plenty of smokables from day one, and the pile had grown in his little safe. Yeah, I go back to my room and put weed in my safe. The pile had grown in his little safe to a towering mountain of joints and buds. There had not been any reason to doubt his wisdom in staying on until his set was interrupted the third night. Oh yeah, I stayed on the cruise.

Wow, there's a lot of stuff with me in here. I might have to hang on to this. There's a whole thing, me and Sandy arguing. Never mind, Doug frowned. Did you see that thing? Oh, I get it. She winked at him. I don't get it at all.

All right, so that's going to the prize bag. Maybe the winner of the prize bag can, I don't know, dictate that section into a thing. A hat with WM on it. What do you think WM stands for? Weed Maps is correct. WM on it. What do you think WM stands for? Weed Maps is correct.

Never speak again out loud during my show. I always think that's part of the problem. Some of my guests will look right at people in the audience and go, what's the answer? And so they get excited about getting to participate, and then they just keep doing it. And I don't know how to stop it. I got some stickers. I got some pipes from Peacemaker.

I got this cool thing from a loot crate I think I got it from. It's a Firefly patch, like almost like if you're a boy or girl scout, it's a Firefly achievement patch. And, oh, a shirt from, who's this shirt from? Somebody just threw this at me, and I was like,

that's going in the prize bag. It's some sort of weed-related thing. Oh, it's a Weed Maps shirt, all right. All of that's going in there, plus stuff brought by my guests. Please give a big, warm welcome to Matt Messer, Dustin Ibarra, and Rachel Bloom! Besser, Dustin Ibarra, and Rachel Bloom! Hey, everybody. I like movies, too.

I think I am going to hold on to this zombie book for now because I kind of want to read all the parts that have me involved in them because I've never been in a zombie. I have. Actually, I was in a zombie movie, but I was a zombie. I wasn't just a person named Doug doing shows on a cruise ship. Let's say hi to them individually. Starting with first timer. Yeah, that's not you, buddy. You're a fucking veteran. First timer first timer yeah don't look at him

either first timer on the show it's Rachel Bloom everybody weee weee so excited to have you here the co-creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on the CW Network, Friday nights at 9 o'clock, 8 o'clock central.

I, you know, I love musicals, so that your show having musical numbers, it could be the worst show ever. I'd be like, yes. Oh, good. Like Smash. Did you see Smash? I watched every single episode. Every goddamn episode. Every fucking episode of Smash. could be the worst show ever i'd be like yes oh good like smash did you see smash i i watched every single every goddamn episode like you hate yourself for watching it but it's still it's about musicals so you have to i have to watch it no i found it i've strangely i was an addict of smash

i went to they did a smash concert where a bunch of people the bombshell concert yes so i went to that it's like a thing, so it was a write-off, but man. Well, so you're really into Smash. Wait, you're really into Smash. Man, did I spend a lot of money. No, I was way too into Smash. Did you do Louis Pitesman's...

It was a terrible show. What? Did you do Louis Pitesman's podcast after Smash? No. He has a podcast that talks about every episode of Smash like two years after Smash was canceled.

Oh my God. Yeah, so people can't even go back and look at it. No. It's not available anywhere. You don't think it is? I think it's on iTunes. Maybe. Sure.

Okay. It's a good place for Smash. But yeah, I love Smash and lots of people in it. And that guy, Lamar Odom Jr. was on Smash. Leslie Odom Jr. Leslie. I always call him Lamar Odom. Leslie Odom Jr. was on Smash. Leslie Odom Jr. Leslie. I call him, I always call him Lamar Odom. Leslie Odom.

He was on that show that night and I went to like the gathering after or whatever. And when he saw me, he said, you're a funny motherfucker. Whoa. Yeah. So I was very excited. That's a big deal. I was so excited that to this day I get his name wrong every time. Lamar Odom Jr.

I'm sure that guy's up to something good too. Yeah. Leslie Odom Jr. And so season two is on the air currently. Yeah. You take like a few weeks off around the holidays, right? We're done filming because we were 13 episodes this season. No, I mean new episodes.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We come back this Friday. Okay, perfect. With two episodes. Oh oh back to back yeah oh shit please watch them is it i mean i could talk to you about this all night but please it's doug loves movies is your tv show uh crazy difficult to shoot uh it's it's more the schedule's difficult to shoot i mean i can't speak to the difficulty of like shots but yeah i mean it's it's, it's more the schedule's difficult to shoot. I mean, I can't speak to the difficulty of like shots, but yeah, I mean, it's, it's hard because we're doing an hour long musical with a network TV budget, which isn't horrible, but the stuff that we try to do, it's like two fully produced music videos per episode. And when I saw La La Land, the first thing I thought I was like, man, I'm fucking jealous of their budget. Cause I was like, um, ah, they're in Griffith. No, they're on the freeway. Oh. Yeah.

My mom asked me if that was some sort of cheat when they were on the freeway. No, they rented out the freeway. No, they fucking shot down a piece of freeway. They ruined people's day to shoot a scene

of people's day being ruined. But yeah, it's hard. It's hard. And it's hard to, I mean, we're also, because we're a network, we're often writing, editing, and shooting

at the same time. And all of the people who write the music, that's not our only job. Like, I'm on the show. My friend Jack, who writes the music, is a writer

in the writer's room and then Adam Schlesinger produces the song so like we it's when we sit down together to write songs it's very rare yeah yeah

it's hard Adam's from Fountains of Wayne he is I love that band he wrote Stacy's Mom and he yeah and the theme song for Crank Great Yankers

and the he's currently writing the theme music for my new show on Comedyankers. And he's currently writing the theme music for my new show on Comedy Central, The High Court. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's super neat.

I like that guy. Have you met him? Nuh-uh. No, don't care to see his stupid face, but I'm so excited that he does the amazing music on your show and my show. My show's just like, you know, it's just like

courtroom music. Oh, I had no idea what that was. Yeah, yeah. High court. The litigant wants $500. The defendant, you know, that kind of thing. I'm so excited to see it. That's how shitty a judge I am. I just said the litigant and the defendant, you know, that kind of thing. I'm so excited to see it. I don't even, that's how shitty a judge I am.

I don't even, I just said the litigant and the defendant. It's plaintiff and defendant. Doug, can we take five so you can be not high anymore? No, I'm high the whole time. And, you know, I'm just staring at you now. So excited that you have a tiny bottle of wine. I have a teeny tiny bottle, because I didn't want to get high, because I just feel like I can't form sentences.

So I asked if they had wine, and someone went out to a drugstore and got Mommy her fix. Which is what it feels like. Like, give Mommy a small bottle, but only like a glass and a half, honey. I love you so much. Did you finish your homework? I don't care. That's what I feel like right now. Drunk mom.

Don't you feel right now like if your show, if it ended at any point, which I certainly don't want it to do, but if you went three, four, five seasons and it ended, that you could kick start a movie version and get sort of your dream come true of doing a movie

musical that we have the time and the budget? Yeah, I don't know if I would do Crazy Ex just because it's, I mean, our goals to- Or something else, of course. Oh, yeah, then yes. Yes, yes.

Absolutely. But you could get it going just off of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend because people love that show. I've never thought about doing a Kickstarter, but that's a great idea. That's, I'm telling you,

Veronica Mars that shit. That's very true. Yeah. I could Veronica Mars that. How much did they earn though? Or just go to Netflix and just be like, let's make a movie. Yeah. Do it that shit. That's very true. Yeah. I could Veronica Mars that. How much did they earn? Or just go to Netflix and just be like, let's make a movie.

Yeah. Do it that way. I guess I could go to some of the people who turned down the show originally and be like, well, any regrets? Give me $10 million.

I love that plan. But in that voice. Mommy needs more of her fix. Mommy needs more of her mommy juice. Well, thank you so much for being here we gotta meet these other fellas we gotta say hello to two frequent guests on the show

I love these guys starting with Dustin Ibarra yeah man have you ever had to cut your hair for a role? Or do they always just cast you as the guy with that hair? No, they've had to cut it before. One time I did a pilot and they sent me back like four times to get it cut. And it was from a cool place.

You had to get four cuts? What were they kind of weird ass? I don't even know. A bunch of executives talking like, that's too poofy. We need it down. And they come back and they're like, well, now the sides are talking like, that's too poofy. We need it down. And they come back and they're like, well, now the sides are down.

The top is too poofy. What's going on? This is a house party. So then finally they got it right and then the show never got on. So, you know,

I don't know. But, you know, I had a good haircut. You know, it was pretty cool. That's what I like about old show biz. You know,

you get free haircuts sometimes. Oh, free haircuts are the best. Yeah. You just wait to get cast in something, show up with stupid looking hair. A good free haircut, too. You're like, let's fix this. Yeah. I like a six-time hair free haircut, you know?

You show up and punch card. I try to get a skinhead role at the start of every year. Oh, that's smart. That's a good way to get it going. And Dustin, what do you got going on, buddy? Are you in something that's out there or about to be? Not as much, but I'm doing... Do you sing?

Are you a good singer? I can sing some. Yeah? Well, an audition is like an audition for... I mean, everyone's always auditioning all the time for me all right do people just go up to you start singing no they don't but one of our cast members got really drunk and sang tlc's waterfalls at the cast party last year and i was like oh we got to write a song for it and we totally did so oh that's good yeah so this is a great career opportunity

for you dustin yeah we could go chairs ride waterfalls. Dark old chairs and waterfalls take me to the river. I could be three different people, you know what I'm saying? I got different octave ranges. Put on an eye patch and start rapping. Put a condom on one eye. Rest in peace.

Nobody could ever get her eye pregnant. No one can get her eye pregnant. No one can get her eye pregnant. Yeah, you heard me. Also joining us on the panel tonight, Mr. Matt Besser is here. The inventor of improvised comedy.

Yeah, you came up with it. Or you keep it going anyway. Keep it going. Yeah, you're of course with the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater where Rachel was telling me before the show, the first show she saw at UCB Theater in LA was a performance of Doug Lo's movies. All comes around.

Yeah, do you remember who the guests were? No, I just remember you were really high. And the joke that you guys kept doing was that I think it was like what's a dog's favorite word? Roof. Roof.

Todd Glass was there. Was it Todd Glass? I'm pretty sure it was Todd Glass. Whoever it was, they kept, every time he said roof. He loses his mind every time I do the roof joke. Okay, yeah, that was, oh shit, it was Todd Glass. I didn't even realize that. Because it ends with, fisherman's wharf. Yes.

And he loses his absolute mind. Yeah, you guys kept doing that. Every time. He was losing his mind. He loves that bit. Now his new thing is he loves when I do Nancy Grace impression.

It makes him lose his mind. Which is always fun to have like a friend that you know you can just drop them to the ground laughing just over some stupid thing that's super easy to do.

But Matt, just in time here on January 3rd to promote a holiday special. Well, it's still holidays for most people. Oh yeah, lazy assholes who won't take their shit down.

I've seen plenty of holiday lights still. You know the new lights this year, those laser lights, instead of putting actual bulbs up, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, they just point at the house and make it look like crazy lit up. Yeah, your whole house.

I kind of like that though. Just don't accidentally point that shit at an incoming plane or something. I was wondering about that. You could get like a hundred planes with one of those things. I'm getting one. Yeah, Andy Richter's Home for the Holidays

you referred to. It was out on CISO. It's on CISO, yeah. It's never too late to watch a holiday special. Yeah, Mookie Blakelock came on the Douglas Movies to promote it.

I think he did a good job. He was a good guest, right, Mookie? Yeah. He sings Farty the Snowman. Need I say more? I'd rather you didn't. No, now you're saying more. Please say more. I want to hear all about it.

Most of the lyrics are farts. There you go. I said a little bit more. What do you mean? It's like Yeah. That kind of thing? And some of the actual words. Okay. Let me try that.

Frosty the... Exactly. Was a... And a... See, you guys are loving it. 45 minutes to that, folks. What was I doing the day of the auditions for that part? I could nail it.

He's hilarious, and lots of other hilarious people are in it. Lauren Lapkus is in there and it's on CISO? CISO.com. Seth Morris, John Daly, is Sappity Tappity,

Betsy Sedaro. Yeah. Just earlier, I was about to go Lauren Lapkus, more like Lauren Lafkus and I just had to say that. Wow. Well, it's interesting that you've chosen alcohol over uh marijuana i don't i don't know

if it's working out thing to say drunk but trying to trying to do stone i like that that's good all right so let's start with you because i i feel like you've been holding this crazy thing in your lap what what'd you bring for the prize bag uh well i have an actual fruit cake and a cinnamon roll cinnamon that's a hard word roll and uh my special bester breaks the record my cd it's in my pocket but can i just okay yeah give me these So it's like a fucking actual fruitcake. I made one of the three of these. This one. Yeah, you made the CD. Yeah.

All right. It tastes great. Wow, these are like... These are like... Heavy, sturdy. Crazy. You can mug someone with it. That's a classic, classic comedy trope.

The brick-like... It's amazing how heavy they are. Yeah, what's in the middle of them? All right. What did you bring for the... I know it's your first time, Rachel, so I just say that people bring something for the prize bag. So their interpretation of what they should bring

is often skewed. Yeah, I brought something kind of special actually to make. Sorry. This is what boobs are for. It's to hold a mic. This is the crew gift that we gave out. We made a CD of selections from season one and half of season two.

And so this is the literal crew gift. And I had one, and since it was a gift that I gave to myself, I was like, well, I'm going to give this to, it was a gift that i gave to myself uh i was like well i'm gonna give this to it was the gift from me and the other producers to the crew that's terrific i'm gonna cherish this there you go i'm so happy to have this very exciting it's yeah it says crew 2016 yeah it's like unless you're on the crew of the show or you uh or you're a rower, this is not for you. So many songs from a season and a half.

What do you average? That's not even all of them. We had to select some. You do two, two, three production numbers in each episode, roughly? Yeah, I think by the end of this season, we have about 80 songs so far. Oh, boy.

Which is really fucking harsh. That's a lot of work. Yeah. Thank Adam Schlesinger for taking a few minutes out to write. Darn, darn, darn. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I will.

You really should meet him, though. Okay. Do you want me to set that up? Yes, please. Okay. Great. Could you broker a meeting? All right, great. Our two families need to get together. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Great. Could you broker a meeting? All right, great.

You wrote my song. Our two families need to get together. Yeah, yeah. See ya. You wrote the music. Yeah, I did. We gave you a lot of notes. Yeah, you did.

Oh, you gave him a lot of notes? Well, more notes than apparently he likes. Oh, no. Can I get more? Deep, deep, deep. All right. I imagine that is what he sounds like. He has like two Emmys.

Yeah, no, he's insanely talented. It's really intimidating to me. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Don't set up a meeting. Does he threaten you with these Emmys? He should. I will box your you with these ones? He should I will box your ears with these Emmys He's also 80

Dustin, what do you got for the old You got a box full of stuff for the bag It's hair It's a tiny box It's pubes Check it out I got a pair of Star Wars underwear. What?

Now, they are medium size. And I'm not going to lie. It was a gift to me. But I am not a medium. How'd you find out? Were they almost on you? No. You guys are so lucky that I didn't try.

But yeah, no, I didn't. And my girlfriend's mom gave them to me. So now they would be yours. That's so sweet. That is, but they don't fit. She knows what I look like, too, so I'm like, what are you trying to give me a hint, lady? Come on. I saw Rogue One with them.

They're pretty amazing. Aspirational Star Wars underwear. Men's boxers. They just got lots of images from Star Wars on them. For the ladies. Yeah. Like, it just feels like it just falls in a way

like, hey, I got Darth Vader dick. Yeah. All the Princess Leia's are faded away. Oh. Sorry.

This isn't released until next week. Yeah. Wait. It'll be alright. It's gonna come out tomorrow that's all right though yeah so that's good you know someone hopefully a husky fella doesn't win but if you do give him to your little brother your girlfriend or something a boyfriend you know did you look cute on a girl person i was just thinking that yeah

i don't know why i would say that i was thinking of him on a girl person. I was just thinking that. Yeah. I don't know why I would say that. I was thinking of him on a little dog. Boxers for a boxer. His head poking out the pee hole. Come here, little guy.

What else have you got, Dustin? Oh, man. I have an I Heart Nuggets t-shirt and a What kind of nuggets? You know, whatever you want. Whatever kind. Tasty. Wheat nuggets, McDonald's nuggets, nuggets of knowledge. I don't know.

And then a McDonald's toy. I don't know how I got that, so that's weird. I don't know. It was in my house toy. I don't know how I got that, so that's weird. I don't know. What do you mean? It was in my house. I don't know how you got that. You take Ambien and take things from children? Yeah, you know how you got that.

I do. My girlfriend got it because she didn't want to eat a big meal, and so she got the small meal. And I was like, you know, I want to eat what you did not, lady. Can you order a children's meal if you're not a child? Yeah, I think. Yeah, because oftentimes you'd be ordering and the child's not present, but they might be nearby.

You have to have a child mannequin in your passenger seat. Sometimes they're dicks about it. Because I've wanted a certain toy and they won't sell it to me because I'm not a child. Yeah, what if you got a kid back home? In the basement. That's what I tell them.

They can tell that I'm way too excited about the toy because I've got a boner sticking out of my Star Wars boxers. But what is this character from? Is this like Adventure Time or something? I don't know, man. I was trying to figure it out.

I would think it's some French TV show or something. French? Some cartoon like in France or something. That's what they're giving away in Happy Meals? I think so. Like, see how there's French on it? Yes, Dustin, there's French on it. No, it has French on it well thank you for bringing all of that stuff

you guys this is an amazing prize bag that somebody's gonna win tonight but first I have to ask just real quickly each of you will start with you Matt what was the last movie that you saw? This is heavy, mostly because of the fucking food you brought. There's a lot of talk

of La La Land, and I watched that, you know, we get the screeners, so that's one of the first ones we wanted to watch, the wife and I. And we watched it

for three nights, which is not a compliment. Whoa, because you kept falling asleep every time? Because we kept falling asleep. It really is. The melodies are quite... After the first ten minutes, it gets very quiet for most of the movie. Okay, I liked the first

night of it. Night one of La La Land, a success. I fell asleep going, that was pretty good bled into my dreams um i didn't like it who knows when this happened but as soon as like she's frustrated no one comes to her one woman show i was like that's pretty deep into it that's an hour into it or more i think i fell asleep in like the second quarter. Okay.

The best part, the most realistic part of the movie is the fire alarm when he burns his bread. Do you remember that? I do, yes. Because that's when we woke up

on the second night. Have you ever done that? There's a fire alarm or a phone in your movie and you're like but there's a fire alarm we have a kid so it's like extra panicky and i'm like where is that and how you what i gotta turn it off so honey it's okay it's just la la land don't worry about it jake it's la la land so so you're kind of down on the movie then because i love it uh i'm a big fan

it was a lot of fun and then it wasn't then i was like it starts out peppier it gets more about sadness yeah that's true but there is But the movie captures to me, especially in that opening scene where they're just dancing in the traffic. That was a lot of fun. It just captures that you just have to have kind of an insane mentality to just be like, I'm going to go to LA and become a movie star.

It's not going to happen for most, but people still do it. But it happened to her. And what the fuck happened in France that she can't be nice to him when she gets back? Yeah, so I think it's that we were talking about this backstage. I think it's that he needed to stay in L.A. to raise the money for his jazz club. For three months?

She was gone three months. Well, he was still stuck on tour, and she went and did. Well, the movie got big. She was three months. Maybe they needed her for posts. She became a big deal. Maybe they were like, we need you to sit in on the edit. and she well the movie got big she was three months maybe they needed her for post she became a big deal maybe they were like

we need you to sit in on the edit yeah it's just you know they probably tried to call each other a few missed connections we don't want to give away too much of the movie

because it's in somewhat limited release currently but also it's not really a plot movie they made improv scene too easy they were like

you're going to go away and improvise for three months on this movie. And she's like, yeah, no problem. We hadn't seen her do any improv

whole movie up until that point. Well, it is funny at her audition when they're like, tell us a story. She sings a song that is not a story at all.

Yeah. But I still love it. I still love it. Okay. Can you tell a story now? That was a beautiful song about... Tell a story.

Yeah. But yeah, it's my late year, you know, end of 2016 obsession. I think I'm going to see that movie like 50 times. Whoa. Yeah, I absolutely love it. Rachel, was that the last movie you saw or have you seen something else?

I saw Half of Moonlight tonight and when I get home, I'm going to watch the other half with my husband. We watched it and I was like, I got to go to a show. So I saw the half I saw half of Moonlight tonight and when I get home I'm going to watch the other half with my husband. We watched it and I was like I gotta go to a show. So I saw the half I saw I loved. And can I spoil something? I don't know.

Can you close your ears? I don't know if you can. I didn't know what Moonlight was about but then two guys started kissing and I was like yes. That's not too bad. Whenever it turns out like a movie is like potentially about gay people I get really psych yes. That's not too bad. Whenever it turns out a movie is potentially about gay people, I get really psyched. I stumbled onto Treasure

walking down the street. I love movies about gay people. My grandpa is so different. It's so weird. I'm done. I'm done. That's crazy. But yeah, there's gay people in Moonlight. I don't think that's giving away too much.

Yeah, but the last full movie I saw... There were gay people in La La Land, too. I saw a couple. The last full... Yeah, a lot of straight dudes aren't dancing in traffic. Let's get out and jump on the hood and do a number. The last full movie I saw was Rogue One.

A Star Wars story? Yeah. Can I say something? Is this going to get me shot? I fucking hated it. Whoa! I thought it was so goddamn boring, man. I thought Rogue One was so fucking boring, man.

Do you find all the other ones? This is probably going to be, I don't know, on some list where it's like, don't hire her. All those nerds in Hollywood. Don't hire her. Do you think it was the most boring Star Wars ever? Or where do you stand on the prequels? No, it wasn't. Because those are crazy boring.

I got to say, it was like... Story-wise? I haven't seen this, but I'm gonna... Kind of on par with the pre... I just felt... I felt nothing. There were no moments... Hey!

There were no moments of human connection. And like... Yeah, okay, all right. I just turned to my... I just kept turning to my husband being like i'm but here's the thing because i'm a woman i always assume i'm wrong when i feel something negative because that's what a condition to feel right where it's like maybe maybe i'm just dumb and so i'm watching the movie and i'm bored as and i turned to my

husband i was like are you really bored and he was like oh my god and he was like, oh my God. And I was like, oh good, a man thinks it too. And I say that as a joke, but there's like 3% of me that still needs to check in with a man for his approval on art, and it disgusts me, and I hate it, and I just want to queef it out of my system. Fucking hate it. But there's like a couple of dumb women.

Not a lot, but at least like one. What? There's no on the planet Earth. Yeah, of course. There's not one. Yeah, everyone's a genius. Of course there are dumb women. Not a lot, but at least like, what? There's no on the planet Earth. Yeah, of course. There's not one. Yeah, everyone's a genius. Of course there are dumb women. Every dude's fucking dumb. Why can't there be one dumb woman?

That's fair. I don't think I'm one of them, but maybe, I don't know. See, if I were a dude, I'd be like, I'm not dumb. Fucking dudes, man.

I can see where people wouldn't enjoy it. i like it just in terms of it being like a fairly well told like science fiction war movie where you know there's certain goals that need to be achieved and then as a star wars nerd i'm happy that they you know do what they do in the movie but seeing it the second time i was kind of like yeah this is it's a little draggy like it should be faster paced and the characters should be more fun like the characters are all very forthright and well acted but none of them are like oh when this guy walks in now it's gonna

be fun for a while yeah how you felt about han solo and chewbacca and you know a lot like they should be dabbing and stuff yes that, that's right, Matt Besser. There should be more dabbing. But like the most fun part... But like the most fun parts of the movie for me were like... Because I wrote on a show called Star Wars Detours. That was a show that the Robot Chicken guys did. And I wrote on the third season. That's right, I wrote on the third season.

And it will never see the light of day because Disney bought Lucasfilm. And will never let it see the light of day. Oh, shit. But I learned a lot about... Shots fired. But I went deep into Star Wars doing that so I know a lot of the characters and the most joy I had was like,

oh, fuck, it was... Oh, it's the lady that dances in Jabba the Hutt. Oh, look, they're watching a hologram of her. And it's like, that's not a movie. That's just like Remember When. That's just like a family guy cut to. But they didn't go nuts with those things. That was really mean.

It was a movie. They could have had a lot more cameos by the different characters. And they were giving us a new group of heroes that are also not going to be around for many movies. That was super ambitious. I love that that's how it ended, but I think also the stakes just felt false. And I know that you could say this about a lot of prequels,

but I know how it ends. They're gonna destroy the Death Star. Spoiler alert. And I just was like, so I wasn't like, oh, what's gonna happen? Are they gonna destroy the Death Star? I know they're gonna destroy it.

Anyway. Anyway. Dustin. Am I going to get a bullet? Sorry, you have to follow this. I did Rogue One as well. That was my last movie I saw. What did you think? Did you like it?

I liked it. I was with my girlfriend. We were in Boston with her family, and I watched it with them. And her dad doesn't know anything about star wars so i had to just agree with him on every he was like oh yeah this is the this is the sequel this is between empire strikes back and return of the jedi and i'm like oh yeah it is i can see boba fett no you don't it's not but i had to like be like oh, yeah, yeah, man. Did you like the movie? Are you still mad about the underwear we gave you? Sorry about that.

I think that inspired that. Because we don't connect at all. Because he's like a real man dude. And he's so Star Wars. He's like, oh, yeah. We only go to movies together. I can barely see you. I feel bad about giving away the underwear.

What have I done? That was his thing for me. Do you want it back? No. I'm not going to lose it. Come on. It's like a medium, bro. I mean, it was beautiful. The movie was beautiful. I'll say that. The cinematography was

gorgeous, right? Yeah, when there was action it was well staged, I thought. I thought for young women, the heroine of the movie, there's no... For the most part, there's no romance for her. It's just about her actually achieving her goals

and about doing what she wants to do. So I think that's good. That's true. Crack open a cold one to that. It's still like, it's still like shows how slim pickings there are of like female representation in movies where we like reach for the one character

who doesn't fall in love and like trip over a fucking banana and go, ah! Like, we're like, oh, she's a feminist hero. It's like, no, she's just a lady. She's a lady doing things.

Women do have a problem stepping over bananas. That was the first thing. Yeah. You put a banana down and the ladies go right for it. That was the first specific I thought of. Bananas, not the right specific in that. I'm sorry.

I don't think, yeah, you're right. I mean, I, fortunately none of the star Wars movies is that. I'm sorry. I don't think, yeah, you're right. I mean, I fortunately, none of the star Wars movies is result. You resorted to a banana gang. They almost did with Jar Jar.

So close. So close with Jar Jar. Can I say, okay, this is Jar Jar was a living banana. This is really going to get me. This is actually going to get me hate. I really shouldn't say this,

but I'm going to say it. Go ahead. Cause I was texting with my, my robot chicken boss about it and i was like i just felt like the characters were so i just like i don't i couldn't describe them like i could like they're pretty and they're good at punching but other than like the sastroid i couldn't describe them and i i and i texted him and i don't necessarily mean this but i texted him and had me longing for jar jar binks and he was like you should tweet that immediately and i was like fuck no but now i'm saying it i don't know if i even meant it you don't mean it

i guess i don't they're not they may not be exciting but they're not irritating. I am good at punching. What do you like? You haven't even seen it, right? They've got personalities. To me, they've got very similar personalities to the gang in the original Matrix, where you're like, well, we could kill any of these, and no one's going to be too upset about it, but we also want them to achieve their goals.

Yeah. But when they die it's like, eh. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the movie's not, the way they do it

is it's not a huge bummer that lots of people die in it and I think that's intentional. I think it's not supposed to be insanely sad. It's supposed to be more like

a few people died for the greater good. So many stormtroopers. Yeah. Well, that's the thing that cracks me up about Star Wars is it's such to be more like a few people died for the greater good. So many stormtroopers. Yeah. Well, that's the thing that cracks me up about Star Wars. It's such a fucking cheat. Like, if a movie had bad guys getting shot as much as stormtroopers get shot and blood came out of them, it'd be rated R.

But since it's a bunch of dumb stormtroopers, like, they equal bad. Like, there couldn't possibly be a stormtrooper that just grew up in the wrong part of the galaxy and you know like where you are ends up being who you fight for a lot of the time and uh and also just that they uh they just kind of fall down and don't bleed very much so if it's not bloody it's okay what if their armor ran on dogs. Like, in their chest plate was a dog that they got their energy from. Every time they got shot, you would know a fucking dog just

died. That'd be like watching Marley and Me 300 times. I know that this was an earlier story from that Star Wars Detour show that, like, because George Lucas I know that I know that this was an earlier story from that Star Wars Detour show that like

because George Lucas would sometimes be in the room and the first day I wrote he was in the room for a couple of hours which was crazy but I heard that in a previous episode

they were talking about killing they were talking about like killing a real character but then they were talking about maybe instead killing a droid and he was like

you can kill as many droids you want. They have no feelings. They're not human. He was like, murder the droids. I don't care. He just threw the droid into the mud. It was great.

That's what's crazy about the prequels. Suddenly there's these armies of just these real robot-y things that don't even have as much humanity in them as a stormtrooper. So it's like, who gives a fuck how many of those get killed or blown away or whatever. I did feel for when the, spoiler alert, when the droid ate it in Rogue One. I did. I liked that character

actually. When he died, I really did. Good old Alan Two Dicks. Right. As the voice of the Asperger's droid. It's fun. I mean, it saves the movie from a complete lack of fun

because it's really the only fun character in the movie that he just always just blurts out the most, you know, like... I like when he goes, do you know our chances of dying?

And he's like, I don't want to hear about it. And he says, well, they're very high. That was a mess. So many kids laughed at that. Yeah, maybe I laughed at it for the wrong reason. But so real quickly, Emil Hirschwatch continues here on Doug Loves Movies. He's going to be a guest on the show, just working out the exact show

where he's going to actually be here. It has been difficult, but hopefully the next time we're doing a show here on Martin Luther King Day at 420 here at Meltdown, so maybe he'll be at that one. But in the meantime... Did you say Martin Luther King Day on 420? At 420, the time of day.

There we go. That's what I didn't connect. The date is like January 16 or something like that. It would be crazy if Martin Luther King Day was on Hitler's birthday. That would be weird. Okay. Yeah, I don't think anyone would allow that. So I have to ask each of you, which one of you would like to go first?

I want to ask you questions that I planned for Emile Hirsch. Who would like to take the first Emile Hirsch question? I'll give it a whack. Okay, Dustin's up for it. Was it fun making Speed Racer? Fuck yeah, man. That was an amazing movie. I hung out and I met the monkey and, you know, he jumped on my back and then then he jumped off. And Dom DeLuise was there.

I think. I don't know. I'm probably. He was a fat dude. He had a curly mustache. I was like. Why do you have trouble remembering? Were you on speed, racer?

Oh. Yes. All right. Rachel. What was it like working with Paul Rudd he's a very nice guy yeah you know he's great what was that movie you did together

the kids are alright really I think it was called Princess Avalanche does that sound right what really Prince Avalanche sorry Princess that's so silly

why would there be a Princess Avalanche we just discussed this scarcity of roles for women Prince Avalanche starring two dudes and they're like on a rock quarry or something yeah well and of course the reveal in the movie is that

Paul Rudd's the prince of the avalanche and that I've been with him the whole time to break the spell. That the spell was broken the whole time. There's a spell? Oh yeah, there's a whole spell where he's stuck in the avalanche and all I had to do was think of

home. And it turned out that, it's like a retelling of The Wizard of Oz where the ruby slippers were in my... I was wearing them the whole time. And the sex scene was great. That's so irresponsible. He couldn't hide. You didn't look down? No, no, no.

I'm comparing it to the ruby slippers. The ruby slipper was the muff. The magic muff. Because it was very cold the ruby muff the ruby muff that would not keep you warm

did Grand Muff Tarkin did he upset you that they made Peter Cushing do a whole movie where he's not alive but they they CGI'd him

I gotta say it didn't I don't know it was well done it was very well done it wasn't as creepy as that end scene of the movie

where it's like, holy shit. That was like a different... This is some real... Like, remember, did you see the Twilight movies where they had a baby? No, I didn't.

And the baby grows rapidly. It's kind of a Benjamin Button situation. They should do that in every sitcom. Have the baby have that power rapid baby growth deal with that character

get that kid to the right age I like it Matt your new movie is called Autopsy of Jane Doe what would you like people to know about it?

Look. I didn't get along with the director at all on that movie. And I could give a fuck if anybody sees it. I thought it was bullshit.

It was like an episode of SVU. A week one. A week episode. You know what I mean? Like it went on an hour, half hour too long. That's what I got to say.

All right. Well, you know. Don't call me email. He should totally change his name to Email Hirsch. That is a sexy name, but looking forward to having him on the show.

Thanks for playing along you guys. Here's the part of the show where I say let the games begin! Ladies and gentlemen, pick your name tags. Choose who you'd like to play for by physically grabbing the name tag from them and bringing it back to your seat. And while you do that, we'll do this. We'll be right back after these words from me.

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insulated box for free for 35 off your first week of deliveries visit hellofresh.com and enter doug35 when you subscribe back to the show hey we're back great job everybody uh Thanks for bringing so many amazing name tags. My guest, Matt Besser, wants to go rogue. One. One. And who do you want to play for? I want to play for this woman right up here in the front row.

You, ma'am. Yes. I liked how when Rach was talking about moonlight, she kept putting her fingers in her ears. She didn't want to hear the end of it. She did like three times. Sorry about that. So you're going to play for her? Yeah, and I do know the end of

moonlight. What happens is... Do you have a... Will you be ready With a shithead If Matt loses Oh yeah Okay she's Oh yeah She's good to go

What's your name Lisa Lisa yeah You come to the show a lot With your daughter Your daughter Chelsea Oh Yeah

Here we go Yeah I get to know all of them I love mothers and daughters Who are you playing for Rachel What I already picked No you gotta tell us about it. It's Brooke Beck. We were in a commercial

break when you selected it. Oh, shit, really? Yeah, oh yeah. Oh. Yeah, this shit's official. Oh, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. I picked Brooke Beck Mountain.

Yeah, there you go. Because her name is Brooke. Brooke, and she put her face... Yeah, it's me and her instead of two dudes. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah. That's really fun. Yeah, that's a two dudes. Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah. That's really fun.

That's a much more mainstream version of that movie. Yeah. You took out everything interesting out of that movie. A man and a woman making love on a mountain. Until he broke her back. It's about a spinal injury.

Here, let me fuck you in this creek. Who are you playing for, Dustin? I am playing for Brandon and Robin. And it's on a Batman and Robin poster. And, you know. Yeah, I'm Mr. Freeze, which is exciting. You are, man.

Yeah, I love that. Mark Wahlberg. I know all of his great lines. Would you like to be a stalactite? I thought you stalagmite. All right, so Brandon and Brokeback. Brokeback. Lisa.

Yeah, she's just like, I didn't make a goddamn name tag. I'm not about that kind of attention. I just don't want to know what happened to that black guy kissing another guy. I can guess. I bet they kiss again. I bet you they keep kissing. All right.

Let's start our game section. You can put your name tag down if you don't want to hold on to it the whole time. And we'll start with... Brooke, thanks. Yeah, Brooke's cool with that. It's right there. This game is called Live, Die, Repeat.

I'll say the name of the movie. First person to repeat it back wins. You guys ready? Look good, feel good. Look good, feel good. Oh, I thought we were still talking. Are we still talking?

I don't know, but I'm not. Look who's not still talking. Look who's not still talking. Look who's talking. Oh, sorry. That's not a movie. I feel like a freshman in college who's being pranked and drinking a lot. You'll pick up on the rules.

Yes, repeat after me. Suck my dick! No, this is the title of a movie. First person to repeat it back wins. What? It's just a speed game. You see how fast you can hear a title,

figure out what it is, say it back. The Walkabout. Yeah. I love a good pre-guess. Out of all the movies. Ever. Here we go.

My super ex-girlfriend. My super ex-girlfriend. You win. Okay, this is already rigged. Had many words that are in her show title. That is true. Did you, was there a discussion ever of My Super Ex-Girlfriend,

that that was a movie with Uma Thurman? No, and we should have, because everyone calls it My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend because of My Super Ex-Girlfriend. We also didn't think people thought, would think the title would be anti-feminist, because in our heads it's, aha, we're meant to deconstruct it. So there are a lot of things we didn't think people would think the title would be anti-feminist. Because in our heads, it's, aha, we're meant to deconstruct it.

So there are a lot of things we didn't anticipate. And have you ever seen my super crazy ex-girlfriend? No, I haven't. My super ex-girlfriend. Is it good? It strikes me as not good. It's super crazy. Like Luke Wilson is just like, what do I do? Because Uma Thurman just knocks over buildings and shit

because she's mad at him. It's like if Bewitched, like if the witch was like, you know, was always angry at her husband. It's more like she just did witchy things and he'd get mad at her and she'd apologize. But, ugh.

Yeah, yeah, that's probably why the Bewitched movie didn't work. Yeah, yeah, that's probably why the Bewitched movie didn't work. But, yeah, it's not a good movie, but I thought you might have seen it just because of the similarity. No, I actually haven't. The movie that my writing partner is known for next to Devil Wears Prada

is she wrote the movie 27 Dresses and I still have not seen it. You know what? I am up to dress 22. I'll see them all someday. But wait, what was the other thing you said? She wrote the Devil Wears Prada. That's a great movie.

Yeah, it's a really good movie. That's one of the top, when people are like, what's a movie the ladies. That's one of the top, like, when people are like, you know, what's a movie the ladies enjoy that a dude could, you know, tolerate? And I think that's a even better than Tolerate, that one.

I like that one. Yeah, I love it too, yeah. And to toot her horn, because she'd never say this publicly, or maybe she would, I don't know. That's like the movie out of all, because she's a pretty big screenwriter that's like she wrote every word

of that movie like every other one of her movies you know the studio comes in and they give her notes but like that movie the director really so she wrote

when Stanley Tucci says gird your loins yeah that is fucking classic yeah she wrote that yeah she wrote that one because I'm just like name another line

that she probably wrote I know one line Meryl Streep improvised. Oh, what was that? The last line of the movie, go. Oh, go. It was just said in the script, the stage direction. Go, and she just did it, and she did it. So, you know, fun.

The director was like, cut. That's a stage direction, Meryl. Let's do it again. It's weird to be angry at someone named Meryl. Come on, Meryl. Let's play. Okay, so you're right. That was kind of cheating, helping her out, but also Let's play Okay so You're right

That was kind of cheating Helping her Helping her out But also you know That game is just to Just gets us to the next game Just warmed up Yeah

Do you want to do one more Will you feel better If I do one that Maybe is in your More in your wheelhouse I've done like one movie Alright Yeah well

Walk hard I mean Full title Dewey Cuck story sound like one movie. All right. Yeah, well, I mean, full title. Dewey Cocks story. Yeah. But here's another one that I wrote down here. Are you guys,

all of you ready? Don't Think Twice. Don't Think Twice. You're the third one, man. And Don't Think Twice is Don't Think Twice. You're the third one, man. And Don't Think Twice is a movie about improv where the whole thought process is what you espouse, which is don't think. Something like that.

Did you like that movie? I haven't seen it. What? Whoa. Is there a story here? Are you mad at us? No, there's no story. Okay. I there a story here? Are you mad at us? No, there's no story. Okay.

I have a child. That's my story. That's right. Yeah, it's not really... I haven't seen Rogue One. It's not one you can pop in with the kids. Kids, let's watch this movie about an improv troupe. Is it animated?

It'll make sense, yeah. It's called Inside Out. The improv troupe is acting out of someone's, all of their emotions. Right? That's what that movie was. How old is your kid? Three and a half.

Yeah. You gotta wait till it's like five or six before don't think twice. I said I'd say one of her jokes on stage tonight so uh pee pee poo poo just let us know when you're ready to say one of the one of her jokes wow all right and here's and here's one for you, Dustin. You ready? Yep. 21 and over.

21 and over. Ah. I was in that. 21 and over. Here, I'll give you another one. Hop! Hop! Yeah, man. Rich will almost beat you on that one. That was tough. I held the mic down here.

Now I know where we're headed. We did a lot of movies. Alright. Congratulations. I believe it mic down here. We've been in a lot of movies. Congratulations. I believe it's three. That's really impressive. Thank you. Let's play ABCD's Nuts. I'm going to be interrupting a motion picture at the SF Sketch Fest in San Francisco,

January 15th at 420 at the Castro Theater sfsketchfest.com for tickets I will be there the next week with the ProfiHew the following weekend yeah it's like

a several weekend festival it's always a lot of fun but the movie I'm interrupting is called Fifty Shades of Grey so tonight we are going to spell Fifty Shades of Grey.

Starts with you, Rachel. Then we'll go to Dustin and Matt. The first letter you get is F for the beginning of 50. And all you got to do is name any movie ever made that begins with the letter F. Forrest Gump. You did it. And if someone matches

the title or titles, in some cases I wrote down more than one. If someone matches me, what I wrote down ahead of time, then you automatically win the whole game. If you can't think of one, you're out. For my F for 50, I went with femme fatale.

I is the next letter for you, Dustin. Invictus. Oh. I know. You thought I was going to say something silly. No, you said Invictus. Invictus.

I went with Intimacy oh I love that there's a dude in that movie Mark Rylance he just got knighted and he won the Oscar last year for Bridge of Spies he's a knight? yeah

he's good F is the next letter uh F a movie that begins with F Matt F is the next letter F F A movie that begins with F You can go Forrest Gump again if you want It's not going to match me though

I guess technically you could say Fifty Shades of Grey Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yes. Very good. Is that it? Yep. I went with Flesh Gordon. Flesh Gordon.

T is the next letter for Rachel. I'm gonna go with The Informant. Okay. Informant exclamation point. The Informant, exclamation point. The informant. Mm-hmm. I went Team America, World Police.

Yeah. Why, Dustin? You've got mail. Yes, I do. Classic. I went with another classic. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. E to Mama tambien. I'm Mexican, too. I should know what this means. I know that's the sound of my peoples. Speaking like them. Is that a remake of And Your Mother Also?

Yes, Matt. It's Matt. What's the purpose of this game again? The idea is that there's maybe hundreds, okay, thousands of movies that begin with the letter S.

I've pre-written down a movie. But you shouldn't worry too much about that. Okay, Serpico. There you go. I went with Showgirls. Mmm, the sequel to Serpico. So close. H, Rachel.

I'm going to go with How to Be a Menace in South Central while drinking your juice in the hood. I like it. I went with High Art. A, Dustin. A, I. Oh, full title?

Oh, wow wow Artificial intelligence Yeah I went with American Psycho D-Mat Demolition Man I went with Do the Right Thing

Don't Think Twice Oh Don't Think Twice would have been good too Yeah Don't Bring It Up Twice Yeah I will do the right thing oh don't think twice would have been good too yeah don't bring it up twice Rachel ever after oh okay right

yeah I love the feminine voices chiming in dudes love that movie Leonardo da Vinci's in it. I went with Eyes Wide Shut. S. Dustin. Shaft.

Oh, I like where you're going with that. I wrote down two movies. Shoot Em Up or Secretary. Oh, it's back to you there Matt I don't know if there's any movies that start ooh ooh la la land that's the working title ah there's that

oompa loompa movie octopussy very good I went with original sin Octopussy. Very good. I went with Original Sin. F is the next letter for Rachel. I'm really happy that I thought of this title because I was... Fern Gully, The Last Rainforest.

Oh, that is a good one. I picked a movie called Fetishes. Fetishes. Fetishes. Gee, Dustin, you got two movies I wrote down. Oh, two movies on this one? Yeah. All right. Come on, dude.

You can do it. All right. Gods Must Be Crazy. Oh, no. Yes, that's correct. Godfather, Godfather 2. No? Not even Godfather 2. No? Not even Godfather 3.

I went Gone Girl or Ghost. Yeah. R is the next letter for Matt. Ratatouille. Ratatouille is very good. I went with Roadhouse or Risky Business.

E for you, Rachel. Everest. Oh, okay. Enter the Void. You didn't like Everest. That's all right. Enter the Void. You don't have to like Everest.

And finally, Y for you, Dustin? Yentl. You can do this. I couldn't think of another. All of those movies, by the way, have infamous sex scenes in them. They're all very sexy movies. Yentl had a sex scene? What's that?

Oh, man. Which one? Yentl has a sex scene? Really? I don't know. I've never, man. Which one? Yentl has a sex scene? Really? I don't know. I've never seen it. Which one? I didn't know that name.

That's wild. I didn't think it was that kind of movie. Which movie? Yentl. Yentl? No. What? You said Yentl.

I chose all movies that have sex scenes. Just because you guessed Yentl doesn't mean it has a sex scene in it. But I was, I said, I think, doesn't Yentl, you know what, I, never mind. Yeah, I think somebody gets fucked through a sheet in Yentl.

But I didn't think of Yentl. I couldn't think of any other Y movie that was sexy. So for the second Y in Fifty Shades of Grey, I just went with E2 Mama Tambien. I went with it a second time, yeah. Right in front of me. So yeah, so there's no winners there, but it takes us into our next game

where Rachel will start us off again. And this is the game that's going to decide everything tonight. Who goes home with the prize bag. It's a game called Last Man Stanton. And... I made a name from a pre-selected audience member of an actor or actress. And I like to play along on this one.

We'll all take turns naming movies that that person's been in. If you can't think of one, you're out. Sorry, Lisa. But Lisa is your lifeline, so you can go to her once for help. Everybody gets to go to the person whose name tag they chose one time

to try to stay in it. And the person from the internet who convinced me the most that they've got an amazing name for us to use is underscore B-W-O-T underscore

BWOT underscore BWOT underscore. Are you here tonight? My name is Yintle BWOT. Where you at, Blot? Right here. Oh, there you go. And why, why?

Why this name, underscore Blot, underscore? College nickname. It's your college nickname? Bring your own taint. B-W-O-T, bring your own taint. Bring whose own taint? Sorry, I didn't spell bwot right. spell blot right.

All right. Blot. What do you what do you what, blot? Who should we play tonight? John Turturro. John fucking

Turturro. Yeah, I throw that in there because that does feel like a bit of a tough one. But also, I throw that in there because that does feel like a bit of a tough one. But also, I'm excited about it. I think we can do all right with John Turturro. We're starting with Rachel.

Just name any. John Turturro. What order were we going in last time? We were going to... So it'll go to Dustin. You're next. All right. Rachel?

Big Lebowski. Yes, of course. Oh, brother, where art thou? Oh, yes, right. Shocking everyone tonight. I'm going to go with... Shit. Oh, uh...

Motherfucker. What the fuck? Oh, my God. Barton Fink. Oh, you motherfucker. He must be in every Coen Brothers movie, right? Yeah, I think he could just

sort of bang out the Coen Brothers movies, but he's not in everyone. That's for sure. Miller's Crossing? Yes, Miller's Crossing. Good job. Oh, shit.

All right, Rachel. Brooke? What's he in? Oh she's going to Brooke I'm going to Brooke Fading Gigolo Fading Gigolo Do you like that? Great

Rachel Fading Gigolo Yeah Whatever that is It was With Woody Allen And I believe Turturro wrote or directed it

Or both maybe Yeah Okay Fading Gigolo Dustin Don't mess with the Zohan Leave to draw a road or directed it or both, maybe. Yeah. Okay. Fading gigolo. Dustin? Don't mess with the Zohan. Oh, nice.

It's right up my alley right there. Yes. That opens up an avenue of movies that I got to figure out the right one. I'm going to go with Mr. Deeds. Matt. Lisa, how are you doing? Do you need her help or are you just checking in with her? Fargo?

Fargo? Do you want to go with Fargo? Fargo? Do you want to go with Fargo? Wasn't he in a Jim Jarmusch movie? Probably. Was he in something called... Who hasn't Jarmusched? Oh. What was that second Jarmusch movie?

Oh, yeah. Was it called Above the Law or something? This is tough. You don't got it? Do you want me to go with Fargo? I guess you were right to apologize to Lisa. I'm going to say Above the Law. No.

Well, who's your shithead, Lisa? Oh. If you had to pick. Trump. Oh, okay. Good for you, Lisa. Good for you. Yeah.

She didn't vote, but she said Trump at Duck Show. Hashtag always resist. Rachel, do you have another one? You said he's in almost every Coen Brothers movie. Well, not every, but he's banged out a few. He's in a lot of Coen Brothers movies. I'm going to... I can't remember.

Well, okay. Should I take a risk? I don't know. I'm going to go out on a limb? Nah, fuck. I don't know. I'm gonna go out on a limb? Nah, fuck. I don't know. Well, okay. Is he in Raising Arizona? Who responded out there?

That's my final answer anyway. Your final answer is Raising Arizona? I do not believe that he was in Raising Arizona. Right? Yeah, I don't think he was in Raising Arizona. Right? Someone checking this? Yeah, I don't think he was. Just nobody needs to check it.

We all just get together as a group. He wasn't. Why? You've got to get on this. Okay, I'm out. What did he play if he was in it? I don't know. One of the bad guys. Just so I know, was he in Hail Caesar?

Because that was going to be my other guess. You can't do that. I'm not going to. I'm out. I'm just curious. There's still other players that are in play. All right. Yeah, and thank you for that answer.

Dustin? All right. I think we got this, Brandon. What do you got, buddy? The Good Shepherd. He's saying The Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd. Do you agree with that, Dustin?

I want to say that's a good answer. I'll take The Good Shepherd. I'll take The Good Shepherd. With Matt Damon and... Yeah. Let's do it. Sure. All right.

My turn. This is going to blow your minds, this one. Desperately Seeking Susan. Yeah, he's the corny MC in the nightclub yeah and he says where you from a guy says Queens he goes I was from I'm from normal parents all right back to you, Rachel. She's out. I was out. Oh, it's just me and Dustin?

Yeah. Oh, shit, Dustin? Yeah, man. You got another one? Oh, damn, I forgot you played. All right. All right. He was in a Transformers,

but I can never keep straight the correct titles of the Transformers. Oh, man. You might have been in two of them. Transformers and... That's definitely wrong. Transformers. Oh, man. You might have been in two of them. Transformers and... That's definitely wrong. Transformers and... Transformers and Linkin Park. Oh, man. I know that one, but I don't.

This is tough, because I don't know, but I'm going to take a guess. Transformers, their next assignment. Okay. Transformers, their next assignment. Okay. Transformers, Miami Beach. I'm just going to take a whack it in Adam Sandler movie. Okay, whack it. Just because, okay, and maybe he did a cameo.

I could see this happening. Good possibility. He's in a bunch of them. Grownups. I just thought of another one he's in. Is he in Grownups, you guys? Two. Oh, clever.

I don't think he's in either of them. He wasn't like the mailman or something? I feel like he would be in... Everyone's watching. They're like, that's John Tartare. I think he's in Little Nicky. That's what I feel like he's in. That's when they hung out.

But who knows? You're still the winner, Dustin Ibarra. Brandon! Boots! Votch! Votch! Gotcha. Come get your prizes, Brandon.

All in one convenient bag that's a little too heavy and will probably fall apart before the end of the night. So maybe hold it from the bottom or get rid of the food. What's happening? I saw him at a production of Zorba at City Center Encores about a year ago, and that's what's in my head. Great actor.

He's very good. Yeah, he's terrific, and he's on The Night Of. Oh, I love that. On HBO, but that doesn't count. But he's in Age of Extinction or Transformers, Welcome to Tomorrow, or one of those. One of those dumb...

He was in a couple of Transformers movies. He's like an FBI guy. Was he in a Spike Lee movie? Oh, yeah, he's been in a ton of Spike Lee movies. Do the Right Thing, we mentioned earlier tonight. Rounders Quiz Show. Rounders Quiz Show. The guy's... Transformers one is what you want

to call it all right so Matt let's do some plugs man promote yourself on this see so calm the UCB show season twos coming out January 17 please support that you can watch it for free for a month why not see my special best breaks the record that that holiday special on cso.com thank you duck and improv for humans is also going to be at the sketch festival maybe the same weekend you are the sketch fest yeah awesome thank. Thank you for being here. Rachel Ballou.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is airing the second part of season two right now on the CW which is a broadcast network so there's no excuse

not to watch it. It's a free network and it's Fridays at nine and bless you and we need you know we are currently the lowest rated show on network television. No. 100%

we 100% are. What the fuck? Yeah 100%. Like the buzz is all so positive you just think oh must be doing great. Yeah cause of Netflix and we live in LA but you know if you go out of like Silver Lake in Brooklyn people are like what's a lady? I people are like, what's a lady?

I don't know. What's a lady? Wow, people are messed up out there. That's such a fucking elitist thing. There's a show with a lady? Not cool, man. Shows about male avalanches. No, I guess, I'm sure

people watch it in other states. But yeah, the Netflix thing is huge. It's a big way to watch it and a great way to keep it going. Yeah, and then I'm going to be at San Francisco's Catch Biz 2 on the 25th, and then I'll be at Riot LA here.

And some other two or three people ready to riot I will also be in Cambridge, Massachusetts doing a talk at the Combined Jewish Philanthropies on January 28th I'm sure you're going to pick up some viewers from my listenership

for that event I hope there's more yentl jokes. Or less. Less yentl jokes. Please. Heard it. And you're a musical fan. Patti LuPone's on my show.

On January 13th, she plays my childhood rabbi. Wow. And that story ends well, like in terms of she's a super awesome lady who was great to work with? I mean, if she weren't, I wouldn't. But actually, she was like our favorite guest star we've ever had. She was so chill and funny and amazing. That's cool.

She was great. Yeah, she could be a complete diva. She's talented enough. She couldn't. She absolutely wasn't. Yeah, nice. Speaking of divas dustin oh yeah man uh january 26th i'm at haina's comedy club in fort worth love it and march 2nd niagara falls new york at a seneca niagara uh niagara casino cool yeah and um i'm working with felipe esparza on this ABC project. We're brothers, and hopefully he gets picked up.

And yeah, we'll see what happens. Do whatever you can, you guys, to pick up his show. Yeah, pick it up, please. Yeah, make it happen. Yeah, it's up to the viewers like you. Yeah. The next Doug Loves Movies here at Meltdown Comics is going to be on Monday, January 16th, MLK Day at 4.20 in the afternoon.

And the invitation has been extended to Mr. Emile Hirsch. And we'll see what happens. Thank you to Meltdown Comics. And one more time to all of my guests, for all of my guests, Dustin Ibarra, Rachel Bloom, and Matt Besser. As always, Sean Hoffman is a shithead.

Someone's got a real beef with Sean Hoffman. And Trump is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another cocky. Guys, a bold and viewing crowd was makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you because Doug loves movies.