Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car III

Episode Date: October 2, 2011

Graham Elwood joins Doug in a rental car to complain about newfangled tea makers and compete in Build-A-Title.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from a rental car yet again you guys say you like it so i'm going to keep bringing it this time it's monday october 3rd two oceans 11 we're driving from vermilion south dakota what yeah we just did a show at the university of south dakota you go Yotes! Go Yotes! Yotes! Yoted! Short for coyotes and don't you dare say coyote in front of them because they'll they'll tell you tear your larynx out yeah they will they turn into Yotes and tear tear the skin out of your neck so we're driving to, it is Cocktober, Graham.

We're driving from Sioux Falls, I mean to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. From Vermillion. From Vermillion, and then we're going to spend a nice night at a lovely hotel in Sioux Falls and then get up hella fucking early to fly back to... I'm flying to Portland, Oregon. Graham's flying to Los Angeles. We will be... In seven hours, we gotta leave. So it's 10.38 at night. I'm disappointed I didn't get a bigger laugh

when I said to the audience in Vermillion, when I said, Who wants to be a Vermillionaire? They were just kind of like, What? With me once again is Graham Elwood, driving. He's the designated driver of the rental car what kind of car are we inside today graham doug we're in a delightful

dodge durango um which is kind of a big they upgraded it we've run a lot of cars so we get free upgrades it's a lot of time so they gave us this big suv it's huge it's nice it's comfortable the back door is the quintessential example of too much technology the the hatch thing that opens the back where you know we put our bags instead of just opening it you press this button it does it automatically and it's like oh thank god robots have now slowed down the process it's a fucking slow robot opening. It takes like 10 seconds for this stupid thing to open when you could just open it real quick. Just fucking open and close it.

And then earlier today, we're in the goddamn airport in the lounge, and I just wanted to get some green tea. And there's this stupid machine. You get this green tea pouch, and you had to find this locket in there. And then there's this robot. It's like, it's fucking tea it's hot water it's a goddamn cup and a tea bag no robots need to be in there you skynet motherfuckers yeah who do you think we are will smith oh jesus all right so i had to bring it back to movies somehow i don't know where what that coffee machine had to do oh skynet good job

last night at comedy off broadBroadway in Lexington, we played the Leonard Maltin game with audience members and had a lovely time. It was fun. A couple came up first, which we've never had that before. I assume they were husband and wife, Ellen and Jeremy, and they won against Graham in the In Theaters Now category because Graham didn't recognize the five or six names he got from Dolphin Tale.

Dolphin Tale. Yeah. I had just seen Moneyball that day. So you guessed Moneyball. Yeah. I knew it wasn't Moneyball, but I was like, I couldn't think of anything else, because I haven't seen Dolphin Tale. But Moneyball's a good movie.

Yeah, it might be my favorite movie of the year so far. That's really good. Favorite, like, mainstream, can-win-a good movie. Yeah, it might be my favorite movie of the year so far. Yeah, it's really good. Favorite, like, mainstream, can-win-awards movie. Like,

I like some other weird movies better, but, um, Justin with a Y was also, also played the game

because we decided to play another round even though you, you lost the first one. Yes. And he was wearing, he, he was a missionary.

The next day, where did he say he was going to go? He was going back down to Mexico because he had this lanyard with his name on it from a missionary convention, which, of course, we made a bunch of sex jokes. But he's going to do his mission work in Mexico. And he's like, I'm going to listen to a bunch of podcasts on my way down. So, Justin, with a Y, safe travels, brother.

Yeah, yeah. Good luck with your missionary work, and seriously, try Doggy Styles. It's so much fun. Doggy Styles is a blast. And he lost to you because you got in, I think it was five names, which is a lot of names, especially for this classic movie. You got the Exorcist yeah correct in five names because the last name was linda blair so that was a big giveaway and that was

in the horror category because as as i mentioned earlier it is coctober you can have a chance to play the leonard malton game listeners, against Sean Jordan at the Houston Improv on October 9th at 420 and at Zaney's in Nashville on October 10th. And then against Dan Gabriel at Zaney's in Chicago on October 15th and at 420 at the Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio on October 16th. And then a nighttime show at the same club on the 17th. And you can play against David Huntsberger on October 2nd at Comedy Works in Denver, and October 3rd at Go Bananas in Cincy. November.

What'd I say? October. Damn it! November 2nd and 3rd. I even wrote down October. Hence the problem. I just read what I wrote down. I haven't seen a movie since yesterday except for a little bit of Con Air in my hotel

room, which if Con Air is on a television and I notice, I will be watching for a while because I love Con Air. And like we we mentioned Graham saw Moneyball. Moneyball and yeah Moneyball was good and when I got out of the theater there was a Pop Warner football game behind the mall that I could hear which was weird. So I just heard whistles and cheering and I was like there's a youth football game going on. And I went around, and there it was. It has nothing to do with movies or Moneyball, but it was really exciting. That was great.

You know, I always like to have something to edit out. Speaking of editing and censorship, in the Jimmy Pardo, Leonard Maltin, Little Wolverine episode, everyone is really concerned on Twitter about what happened why there was a bleep I hate censorship Pardo said something about a gig we were talking about a gig that Pardo wasn't ready to promote yet and

at the end of all that talk and me saying okay we'll just edit it out then Sam the ma'am decided to turn it into a little dramatic moment and said, Jimmy, why did you say that? Because he knew that it was going to be right after a bleep, which was pretty funny, and the audience enjoyed it.

But everyone thinks that Pardo said something really terrible, and I want to let you know that he did not. Yesterday's rental car billed a title. There was some controversy with that. Could have gone with Pool Hall Junkies instead of Pool Boys on the one end. And that was from 2003 and stars Chaz Palminteri and Ricky Schroeder. That's awesome. Yeah, Pool Hall hall junkies.

Yeah. And then I was ridiculous when we had Dr. No, and I was trying to think of what ends in doc. I can't believe I didn't come up with, and lots of people pointed out to me, What's Up, Doc? Right. Because that's one of my favorite movies ever.

I love that. What are you doing with Howard Bannister's rocks? So that's the fun thing about us playing build the title in the car is people listening along get to get extremely frustrated when they have the right answer or have an idea and we blithely ignore it as we drive down the, what are we driving

down tonight? We're on the 29 North going through beautiful South Dakota in the middle of the night. Yeah, we went south to go to Vermilion, and now we're going north. North to Sioux Falls. Yeah, and it's a real case of highway hypnosis. There's nothing to look at out here. So, for today's Build-A-Title, movies set in South Dakota.

And the first one we'll start off with, and we'll see how that goes, and I've got a few more options, is called North by Northwest. Oh, wow, that's cool. The great Hitchcock film where... What's his name? Cary Grant climbs into the nose

of which of the presidents of Mount Rushmore? Just gets right up in his nose. Oh, I believe it. And then he does a dance. I believe it's Jefferson. They're like hanging off of his head or something, right there, his nose. Yeah, I don't remember which president.

But what do you want to add to North by Northwest, Graham? Oh, God. It can start with West or end with North. Going North? Isn't that a movie? No. Going South. Going South.

So that wouldn't count. That was a Jack Nicholson movie that featured a cameo by Jim Belushi. No, John Belushi. John Belushi. Oh, God. I'm kind of tired. Jesus. According to Jim, he was in Goin' South.

Let's see. Western. West. A movie that begins with the word West. I'm so tired. There's one that just jumps right out at anybody who's not tired. West. West side story.

I always predict what's going to happen on each end in the beginning. And that's what I thought would come up as West side story. Uh, and then I will add to that... Damn it. I don't want to do Story of Us, because didn't we just do that recently? Yeah. In one of the car episodes, I think I said Story of Us.

So we want to do a different story. Yeah. In one of the car episodes, I think I said Story of Us. Yeah. So we want to do a different story. Yeah. Story, never ending, story, tell,

story, time, story, teller, story, book. Again, listeners are probably

yelling. So I'm going to go on the other end and go Mr. North by Northwest Side Story. Mr. North. Yes, now you need something that ends in Mr. or begins with story. Story. Storybook way.

Really? Yeah. Is that really a thing? Yeah, I don't know. Look it up. Sounds like a movie that would be... I'm not going to look that up. I'm very good with...

I don't like your... You have to know what the movie is when you add it. You can't just use an expression that exists. Storybook Wedding. Because you know there's some directing to video. Of course, yeah. That's a shitty movie called Storybook Wedding. I'm stuck on both of them.

I can't think of something that ends with Mr. either. West Side Story Blank Mr. Oh, Story of Our Fathers Yeah Yeah, that works, right? Or was it Flags of Our Fathers? No, Story of Our Fathers

is a movie with I believe Tom Sizemore and it has to do with racism in the South or something like that. Alright, now when I'm looking up, I'm not going to let that stand. I think Ving Rhames is in it. Alright, I'm going to look that up.

That's going to be fun to look up. Ving Rhames and Tom Sizemore in a movie called The Story of Our Fathers. The Story of Our Fathers. Which makes sense if it's about abuse, because that's where you get it from. Yeah. Ooh. Now I'm seeing lots of other options.

Story of O would have worked. Story of Our. It's coming up. Coming up, Bob Kiss on IMDb, dude. What? Yeah. Oh, no. Fuck.

It's... What is it called? The Sins of Our Fathers. You! A-hole. There is a movie called The Story of Fathers and Sons. Oh. This was a terrible one.

Yeah. But we tried I'm sure somebody's gonna tell me there's something that ends in mister I know like

something mister but I can't I can't think of anything so semester yeah that's close but I don't know I don't know about a movie that's close I don't know about a movie

That's not Mr. Sir Mr. Sir Mr. Lot Alright let's play another movie set in South Dakota While we tool through it Little Big Man Oh great Starring Dawson Hoffman

A man who ages from a young man to What's he supposed to be at the end? Like 101 or something? Alright So that's the end in little or start with man? Little Big Manchurian Candidate Oh, unbelievable Little Big Manchurian Candidate Night

You c cop fucker. Little Big Manchurian Candidate Night. Here on Elm Street. Nightmare on Elm Street. Okay. Elm Street. Okay. Stuart Little, Big Man,

Turian Candidate, Nightmare on Elm Street. Oh, we just passed an adult bookstore. Really? Yeah. Where's the fireworks stand? Right here next to it. Oh, RVs? Fireworks and RVs. Good combo. we must be getting close to sioux falls

yes we are we're in the greater sioux falls metroplex um all right so you got stewart little big man churian, Candidate, Nightmare on Elm Street. Streets of Fire. Oh, nice. Eleven miles to Sioux Falls. See, here's an example of, like, I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there's something called Fire Down Below. But I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there's something called fire down below. But I don't know what it is, so I'm going to...

I tried to think of something else. I need water. I need water. I'm choking. I need... I'm choking on my build-a-title options. I got it. Alright.

Stuart Little, Big Man, Cherry Candidate, Nightmare, on Elm Street's a fire starter. Oh, nice. Drew Barrymore. Yeah. Drew Barrymore is a young rapscallion demon brain or whatever it is. Yeah, in the first scene she setsather locklear's oven mitts on fire and what is the most hilarious opening of what's supposed to be a serious scary movie not the oven mitts yeah it's ridiculous okay all right uh so do you do you know anything

that ends in stew or stewart um seems like there should be something some movie then with the word stew s-t-e-w but it's not spelled that way right doesn't matter how it's spelled it's just a sound alike or you could on fire starter you could just use the same cheat that you didn't like me using the other day

starter because I don't think there's anything In the movie that begins with the word starter Starter pistol Starter up There's gotta be some direct TV Direct to video movie Starter up

No He was a race car driver She was a bikini dancer Together they're together No No and No and That's good improv that's my improv style no and that's stupid and um

just do it just say star terminator no um um, uh, uh, oh. Start, start your engines now, shitter. Oh, start terminal velocity, bitch! Alright, that's good. I like it. Terminal velocity. Terminal velocity. That's good. I like it.

Terminal Velocity. Okay, so here we go. Stuart Little, Big Manchurian Candidate, Nightmare on Elm Street of Firestarter. Star Terminal Velocity Velocity of Angels Oh Angels and Demons I thought you might go Angels in the Outfield

Alright, so Stuart Little Big Man Tree Candidate Nightmare on Elm, Streets of Fire, Star Terminal, Velocity of Angels, and Demons. Demons.

Muns. Demons. Maybe there's a movie That starts with demons But I don't think so I can't think of a stew Stew is a tough one That's a gauntlet of

Yeah Somebody will tell us The answer But that's a pretty good Long one That's fucking crazy long Yeah That one turned out

Pretty fun That was a really good time Oh it was so great buddy So do you have any plugs uh yes for all of your fans out there and my fans you're talking to yes doug benson fans at comedy film nerds we have autographed copies of all four of your cds um i've got four CDs? Yep. And we have a Doug Benson gift pack, which you get all four CDs

and a couple of free gifts and any Doug Benson item that you Doug Love Movies fans buy at Comedy Film Nerds, they're all autographed, you get a free Woot Monkey. Oh, I was going to say

I'll come to your house and kick you in the balls, but you want to go Woot Monkey. Why do you go Woot Monkey and ball kicking? No no and so just uh when you're checking out at the comedyfilmnerds.com store there's a little thing to put like comments in there just say you know uh put in there whoever you think is a shithead and uh and that you want a whoop

monkey and we'll send it to you free charge charge. Alright, and my plug is that all of my tour dates are listed at DougLovesMovies.com And as always, the story of our fathers is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing

prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!