Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car IX

Episode Date: April 2, 2012

Doug and Graham drive from Minneapolis, MN to Madison, WI, playing Build-A-Title and a new game that has yet to be named!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, squeaky babies, sticky seeds with 50 acid popper kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies! Hey everybody, my name is Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from a rental car. What kind of car is this, Graham? Doug, we're in a brand new Nissan Sentra. Very nice car. Deceptively large trunk space.

I like it. Yeah, it seems like it's all right. Good gas mileage? Yeah. Okay. So, you hear that, Nissan? Give us a couple free ones. Yeah, send me a car and I'll talk about it on every podcast I ever do.

Yeah, hundreds of people will hear it. Fifty people will hear this. At the very least. At the very least. And we're driving from Minneapolis, Minnesota to Madison, Wisconsin. Yes. On April 1st to Oceans 12. Yes. On April 1st, Two Oceans 12.

April Fools! Yeah. We tricked each other into this long-ass drive. Yeah, we totally did. I'm too lazy to do April Fools jokes. Like,

I should have called you up this morning and been like, you know, just give some reason why I couldn't leave the hotel or something. And then, and then when you get all mad, go April fools. And then, and then the whole X would just be stupid. Oh, there's a Culver's coming up, dude. Want to stop? I do, but I should, we should. I can, I think they have Culver's in Madison also. I can always use a bathroom break. But I love Culver's.

It's all, you know, it's all stuff you know, butter burgers and custard. It's crazy. Get some custard butter burgers. Let's power through. I want to get to I want to get to Madison and get all set up there because it's a fun town

and we're only going to be there for a very short time. So yeah, as you've already figured out, Graham Elwood is driving and I am passengering. Since last I spoke, you listened. I did a Douglas Movies taping at the Acme Comedy Club in Minneapolis with guests Graham Elwood, Amber Preston, and Jonah Ray with a pop-on by Matt Myra. Hey!

Hey! Yo-ho! Hey! A lot of fun. A lot of name tags. Very creative. The name tags in Minneapolis, I've got to say, were most impressive. There was a lot of cookie treats.

There was a lot of really well-thought-out. People put a lot of cookie treats. There was a lot of really well thought out people put a lot of time into them. A lot of food. I saw a chocolate Easter bunny. I saw a cake in the shape of a ladybug. I saw it's not food, but one guy had a beer.

Yeah. In case any of the panel wanted to drink a beer, they would have gotten picked. Very clever. Future reference, anybody ever makes a vegan, gluten free treat then go ahead and kill yourself then I will probably

pick it because I will eat the shit out of that and I know that I will be the only one on the panel eating it because no one else would eat those things. Yeah, you're used to eating it on stage, so the thing I wanted to say... What a weird dog. That sounded like an insult. Oh, you gotta clean out your ears.

That was a total compliment. Um, but, yeah. That's a good way to get Graham to pick you, and, you know, since I don't ever say who the guests are going to be in advance, just, you know, keep track of our tour schedule because, or follow Graham on Twitter because he's always blabbing about it. And then bring a absolute fun and delicious free snack. A delicious free.

Make it completely delicious free. Totally void of fun. I got some vegan cookies sent to me from Sweet to Lick on Twitter. They're excellent. Sweet to Lick? Yeah. Is the name of the company? Yeah, they're at Sweet to Lick.

Alright. That seems like you'd end up at a porn site if you typed that in. So you can get this episode with all the amazing name tags. Probably best single name tag explosion we've seen. There have been some good ones. There's been some absolute good ones. This was... San Diego let us down.

San Diego did a little bit. Yeah, but Barstow remains the all-time worst. Since name tags have become part of my shows, Barstow is the only place we've gone where only one person bothered to make a name tag. Yeah. And that was an actual name tag. He just said, hi, my name is, and then he wrote his name in, I think. Well, that's kind of what happens when you do too much math.

You're saying that about Barstow? No, San Diego. Sweet home San Diego. I just did a show in Barstow, and it actually was great. Barstow was fun. Oh, we had a good show that night. I'm just saying that no one listens to podcasts out there because, you know. They got ham radio.

It's complicated enough out in your meth trailer when you're making meth, you know, you gotta... Or I think it's a rule you have to listen to... There's a specific kind of music you have to listen to when you're making meth. Yeah. I don't know what it's called. Meth music.

You have to listen to Skrillex. Jimmy Sudafed and Bunsenburgers. So the thing we recorded yesterday will be available very soon probably in about a week at the accurate price of $2 on iTunes and if you think that all podcasts should be free then don't

buy it it's a simple system yep then it is for you. And Graham, can people pre-order your book right now, right? Yes,

the Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies of which you wrote the foreword. It's full of lies. It's full of lies. Doug is a liar. And there's

11 contributing writers like Greg Proops and Jackie Cation and other folks. Uh, yeah, it's available at ComedyFilmNerds.com. So you'll get, you pre-order it. It should, we'll probably ship it to you in May and it'll be autographed by Chris and I and at least one other film nerd. So enjoy that at ComedyFilmNerds.com.

And you can see Graham and I, or is it, is it Graham and me? Both of us will be in, it's Graham and I? Okay. I gotta get, I gotta get that right. I can't,

but what about, so the title Marley and Me is wrong? Yeah. You're a liar. Jesus. That just confuses me

because that's, I do all of my writing based on movie titles. We will be at the Appleton, Wisconsin Skyline Comedy Cafe on Monday April 9th at 9.30 7 o'clock is sold the fuck out Bitches! Better come to the late show

Gotta go late! Bang bang Gotta go late or stay home and hate! Added show We'll be doing stuff in the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, Oregon Oh, stay home and hate! Added show! We'll be doing stuff in the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, Oregon, April 12th to the 15th. Taping at Douglas Movies, where Graham will probably be there. And Cobbs in San Francisco on April 19th. And then we're going to run over to do a Countdown to 420 stand-up show

at Cobb... Wait, oh, shit. Punchline. Cobbs is Douglas Movies. And then Punchline is where we're going to run to do a show at Cobb. Oh, shit. Punchline. Cobb's Douglas movie. And then Punchline is where we're going to run to do a show at 10.30. There will be a countdown. We'll do a countdown at midnight to 4.20.

And then on April 20, Graham will be joining me as I record my new album at Parlor Live in Bellevue, Washington. And on April 21st, it's the second annual day after April 20, is No Reason to Stop Smoking show at Wow Hall in Eugene, Oregon.

Woodsmen of the world, unite! Yeah, that's what Wow stands for, Woodsmen of the world. And we have endless amounts of fun with that. That we're in the Woodsmen of the world facility. There's a lot of wood in the room, right? It's kind of a wooded, wood room. And woodsmen. Yeah.

And, um, not a lot of name tags there last year, so we'll see if the people of Eugene are listening more and get into it more. I think they're busy making hacky sacks. They make them themselves? That's the world's most ambitious stoners. Actually making the hacky sack and then kicking it around.

Wait, there's more. May 3rd we'll be at Sidesplitters in Knoxville, Tennessee and May 5th we'll be in Charlotte, North Carolina at the Comedy Zone at 420. All tour dates are available on our websites, Douglovesmovies.com and GrahamHillwood.com. Such a narcissist. Have you seen any movies since yesterday, Graham? Um, ooh, since yesterday. Well, yeah, I I mean we talked about I saw Hunger Games I saw

The Raid but you did not see any movies yesterday night no or this morning no no we did not that's all I'm asking I didn't see a 5am show we talked about all that other stuff on previous podcasts

I don't want to get repetitive. I saw some of Hannah in my hotel room. I've got to say, that movie kind of kicks ass. It's great. I loved it. I thought it was an excellent... I walked away the first time thinking, oh, that was good, but it's really good on TV in a hotel room. Yeah, because it's a coming-of-age story of a 14-year-old girl, but she's coming of age as a hotel room. Yeah, because you kind of get to, it's a coming of age story of like a 14 year old girl, but she's coming of age as a trained killer. It's kind of awesome. Yeah, why doesn't

Hannah, why doesn't she compete in the Hunger Games? Was she not in the right, not in one of the districts? She would have cleaned up. That's the other thing about Hunger Games. Like, okay, there's the 13 districts, then there's where all the rich people live. It's called Poonam or Penham or something.

But then, are they implying that there's less world out there, or are there still other countries? Because you'd think maybe there's no war in the world anymore, and that's why they do this thing with the kids to try to keep people at bay, try to keep people docile. I think part of it is, and I believe it more gets revealed in the other books and probably in the movies, but I think there was a lot of war, and I think so part of the world has been decimated, which is why they need these districts, because the districts have, well, this one has minerals, this one has coal, or whatever. Like, they need the resources.

Yeah, and they make them work as slaves, and then they keep them in line by threatening to kill 23 young people every once a year. Right, giving them some hope, but not too much. Yeah, but it's so weird, because they're like, everyone looks so cheesy that the TV show isn't that, you know, like you think that that would be the cheesiest aspect of it, that there's a reality TV show of the Hunger Games, but you know,

everyone, everyone's, everyone that's rich acts and dresses so weird. Like, you never get a feeling of how Stanley Tucci feels, his character feels about hosting that thing. Does he think putting these kids up to death is awesome? Or is he pretending he thinks it's awesome because he's the host of the show? And is he richer than other people because he hosts the show? And like, what is, why does Elizabeth Banks' character, with whatever crazy dumb name she has, why does she, when she's drawing the names and stuff, why is she acting like everyone there should be thrilled

to, you know what I mean? Like, the Nazis never show up and say like, isn't it fun that we're Nazis? No, they act like serious fucking hardcore Nazis. They don't try to turn it into a party. Or maybe they did, but it just wasn't there. Yeah. You missed out on the Nazi party.

Yeah. Well, okay, that makes sense. It's the Nazi party. The whole thing's a party. Anyway, Hunger Games just made... I just was just filled with questions the entire time I was watching it. And it didn't necessarily make it more interesting. It was just something to do. Right. time I was watching it, and it didn't necessarily make it more interesting. It was just something to do.

Right. Because I was just bored by the whole thing. Joe Wright should have directed Hunger Games. I'm making a list of everyone. Yeah. I wouldn't have said that after Atonement, but I'm saying it after Hannah.

Yeah, I mean, in more capable hands, it's like what happened with Harry Potter when they got, I forget the name of the director, who did like number two. Alfonso Cuaron did number three, and in my opinion, it's still the best one. Yeah, so I hope that happens with this movie. I don't think it will. I think the first guy's locked in.

I think he's our man for all three or maybe for you know and certainly the fact that it made a lot of money yeah no one's gonna be compelled to be like oh we need to fix this they're just gonna but like as far as i understand the third movie sounds like it would be like really even more action-packed based on the stories than one and two so i think it would behoove them to get an amazing action director or somebody that just doesn't start shaking the camera around every time something violent is happening. And maybe, like, say fuck it and make the last one an R. Like, I don't know why they're, I mean, I know why they're married to PG-13, because they can get the

kids in there, but I think a lot of kids would go to it if it was rated R. Let me ask you this, Graham. Are you hungry for some games? Oh, yes, I am. Do you hunger for games? I do. Let's play Build-A-Title. Let's do it.

Here's a title that was suggested by Native American, but the E in American is a 3 for whatever reason. Uh, I didn't get into it with this person, but Native American suggested weekend at Bernie's two. Um, okay. So you can start with the number two or two mules for sister Sarah. Wow. Bang. This is going to be a short episode. Two mules. So we've got Weekend at Bernie. Two mules for Sister Sarah.

Sarah. Sarah. Raw. Raw deal. raw deal Sarah deal Sarah deal Sarah deal yeah you're right you know what

I'll take that one back it's a little bit of a stretch it's quite similar to Tinker Taylor which people can hear in the two dollar

mini app show okay so Sarah oh which people can hear in the $2 mini-app show. Okay, so Sarah... Oh! Sarah... Sarah Smile, of course, is a Hall & Oates song. Sarah... Why haven't they made that into a movie? So... All right, I've got to go on the other end and go with, um...

Lost Weekend at Bernie's. Two meals for Sister Sarah. Alright. So you need to end in Lost or begin with... Land of the Lost. Oh, you son of a... Land of the Lost. Oh, you son of a... Land of the Lost. Okay, um...

I will go... Um... I think everyone I'm thinking of is going to be a stopper for you, I think. I'll let you pick. Would you prefer Adventureland or Zombieland? Which one do you think you can add to? Wow. Yeah. Adventureland? There's a movie that's just called Zombie, but I don't know any movies that end in just the word adventure. Because it would be probably adventures. So, which one should I do?

I don't know. Okay, I'll do adventure. Adventure Land of the Lost Weekend at Bernie's Two Meals for Sister Sarah. The Big Adventure. Starring? We all know who starred in that, I think. Oh, yeah, who was in that one? Well, I mean, Harvey Korman.

Harvey Korman starred in The Big Adventure? Yeah. I think you're thinking of Blazing Saddles. Oh, actually, no, The Big Adventure, wasn't that movie with Dick Van Dyke where the whole town is smoking cigarettes? You mean Cold Turkey? Oh, yeah. And they all quit smoking cigarettes the cold turkey big adventure that's a weird ass movie i gotta revisit cold turkey because it's about a whole town that

they've got like they've all got to quit for a month and they'll get some sort of grant you know they'll get some sort of money somehow and uh and and and there's a bunch of there's good actors in it like bob newhart and yeah and but it makes everyone just goes bug fuck yeah and then they like don't they like rain cigarettes down in the village at the end i think that's what yeah i think to like get them to fucking break down and smoke they do that yeah they're trying to like shut down a plant or something and then the plant stays open yeah it's kind of a a... I bet you it might hold up in an interesting sort of way just because it was made

at a time when more people smoked and people weren't as crazy about how you shouldn't smoke. So anyway, Adventureland. So, oh, actually... Ace Ventura Adventureland. Oh, actually. Ace

Ventura Adventure. No, but you could do something with ad in adventure. Like a movie that ends in mad or dad or bad. Sad. Bad. Cad.

Lad. Bad. Big mad. Loud mad. Lad Bad Mad Big Mad Breaking Mad Breaking Bad Breaking Bad The movie That should be a movie

It's the greatest movie that's a TV show Bad Sad Sarah bad sad Sarah a soldier story Sarah a soldier story alright normally we drop the a's

and the the's the articles but I will take it because on the other end i'm very excited about this oh dad poor dad mama's hung you in the closet and i'm feeling so sad Adventureland of the Lost Weekend at Bernie's 2. Meals for Sisters, Sarah Stolzer's Story. All right. Yeah, that's a real movie starring Jonathan Winters.

Wow. That I've always wanted to get into. I may have gotten it in another time, but it's fun to get in because it's already such a long title. Probably the longest title ever. So my words are story and... O. I'll go story. O-dash.

Story of us. Story of us. Shall fly for Bruce Willis. Yeah, we've been through this before, and I don't think we could think of something that begins with us. Us. Us. Us. Us.

Us. Yeah, that's... But I know there's something that I will hear about on Twitter as soon as this episode pops. One of the favorite parts about playing this game is finding out what movies you missed. Yes, finding out... Here's where you're a stupid shit.

Here's where you fucked up, dummy. Yeah. Why didn't you think of this obvious one? Suckhole. Yeah. So I'm going to go with the O and stick you with another O. I think we talked about this on yesterday's show, maybe. O in Ohio.

The Ohio? There's a movie called The O in Ohio starring Paul Rudd and Parker Posey, I think. The O in Ohio? Yeah. So now you've got The O in Ohio. Oh, Dad. Poor Dad. Mama's hung you in the closet. I'm feeling so sad. Ventureland of the

Lost Weekend at Bernie's 2. Wheels for Sister Zara. Soldier's Story of Us. So now you need something that ends in O. Daddy-O. What's that? That was a rock and roll movie. You got so many options on this one.

You don't have to make one up. All right, all right, all right, all right. You could go Pinocchio. Oh, right. Oh, there you go. Astoriavo. Astoriavo, yeah. Yeah, Pinocchio. Pinocchio in Ohio.

Dad, poor dad. Mama, son, I need to cause that feeling so sad that you're led to the lost weekend of Bernie's two-meal-tree sister Sarah soldier story of us. Okay, so I need to add to Pinocchio. Pinocchiochio 33 miles away from Madison

oh yeah 100 to Milwaukee let's let's through yeah let's keep going let's go to the Harley Davidson Museum

Milwaukee um did you go to the Spam Museum while we were in Minneapolis no I did not I usually try to see

a museum I've been to I went to the see a museum. I've been to, I went to the Harley Davidson Museum when I was working in Milwaukee. I can't think of anything to Yeah. I'm sure there's something. I'm sure there's something. Not a movie that ends in pin, but there's probably something that ends in, like, spin. Yeah.

Something spin. But I can't. I can't think of any. So we'll call it. That was a pretty good one. Pinocchio in Ohio, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Story of us. Now really quickly, before wrapping this episode up and finishing our drive into town

and checking into one of the many wonderful Hilton properties, I just want to try a game. It doesn't have a name yet. A few people have kind of mentioned it to me. It's something that I've done with friends in the past that's kind of fun, so I thought we could beta test it and see how it plays

and also what we should call it. And that's where if one of us starts and you name a movie or an actor, then I, whichever one you do, if you name a movie, I have to name an actor that's in that movie. And if you name an actor, I have to name a movie that actor was in.

And then it just goes from there that you have to keep doing that. You have to skip back and forth until somebody gets stumped. Producer Matt here what doug doesn't realize is this is a game we play on never not funny and it's called movie cats so start it off with a movie or an actor uh bridge over the river quiet okay alec guinness star wars Required. Okay, Alec Guinness. Star Wars. I wish I could think of a woman who plays Aunt Beru. You know what I mean?

You could shut it down. But you have to know it, too. You have to know the answer. Aunt Beru. What would shut it down is you wouldn't be able to think of something else that she was in. Right. So let me think of somebody that you wouldn't be able to think of something else that she was in. Right. Right. So let me think of somebody that you wouldn't be able to guess something else that they were in. Let's go with, well, shit.

If it's any actor in Star Wars, you could just name one of the other Star Wars movies. So which Star Wars were you naming just now? I actually wanted a New Hope. New Hope. Okay. You didn't say it. You just said Star Wars. Okay. All right. So it's New Hope. Who was in a New Hope. Okay, you didn't say it. You just said Star Wars. Okay. All right, so it's New Hope.

Who was in a New Hope? It was Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen weren't in any other Star Wars. Spoiler. Everyone on the planet of Tatooine wasn't in any other stores. Just for the sake of moving it along, I'll figure out another way to shut you down. Let's just go with David Prowse. Oh, that's Chewbacca?

No, that's the guy in this Darth Vader suit. Oh, fuck. Alright. But he's been... There's another very famous movie that he was in

that's not a Star Wars movie, but you can just go ahead and name Empire or Jedi if you want. Wasn't he in Manhunter or whatever? Oh, I don't think

he was in that. Alright, well, I'll just go Empire Strikes Back. He was in Clockwork Orange. Oh. He's a big weird dude in a white turtleneck sweater towards the end of the movie.

He has a confrontation with Malcolm McDowell. Okay, so Empire Strikes Back. I'll just go... I'll go with... Empire... Again, there's nobody that was in that, but not any of the others, I don't think.

So let's just say... How about an obscure actor named Harrison Ford? Good luck, Graham. named Harrison Ford. Good luck, Graham. American Graffiti. Oh, interesting. I'm about to win.

Wolfman Jack. Yeah. Probably not in another movie, and if he was... It would be more American Graffiti was he in that? holy shit so was Harrison Ford yeah as a different character

or no he's the cop because it was in the 60s he became a cop later that guy that was the whole thing what they remember the end of

they said this is what each guy ended up doing and he was a cop they don't even say at the end of, they said this is what each guy ended up doing? And he was a cop? They don't even say, at the end of American Graffiti, they don't say what happened to Harrison Ford's character. It's just the four main people. But they have him as a, he's a street, he's a motorcycle cop in San Francisco.

Yeah, but I just thought it was a cute little cameo, and I didn't know if they were implying that that guy wore the cowboy hat and always had a toothpick in his mouth, became a cop who then didn't act that same, you know, he matured or whatever. I think that's what they were saying, sort of like, you know. Yeah, so let me, okay, so I just need to do something that was in more American Graffiti, so let's go with Candy Clark. All right, she was... Let's see if you can name another one of her movies.

Candy Clark. I'll give you 30 seconds. She was in... And I have to be able to name one. Wasn't she... To win. was she in Friday the 13th? no Betsy Palmer Candy Clark

ah shit I can see her face in a thousand movies yeah she's super cute in American Graffiti and got nominated for Best Supporting Actress and then you know as years went on she didn't really work that much. Was she in Star 80? I'd have to look it up, and I don't think I got internet access out here in the open road.

Let's see if I can look it up. Let's see if I can find it on my IMDb. Because IMDB... can be... I'll just look up Star ADL easier that way. Because also that would be cheating if I looked up... Searching, searching... Yeah, I don't think it's gonna...

I don't think it's gonna come through. But I also don't think she was in that. All right. I'll just take that. But that was fun, though. That was a fun game. She was the girl in Blue Thunder with Roy Scheider. Oh, shit.

She was like his girlfriend? No. Oh, yeah. Blue Thunder, wow, that's a great film. Like at one point she has to drive around and help him somehow She's being chased Right Network error, sorry, we couldn't perform your search

Another Malcolm McDowell movie Check you later Yeah, yeah I would love that movie at the time I don't know if it holds up I'd like to see it, I know Daniel Stern's in it Yeah Santos

Joe Santos The cop from Rockford Files I don't know if it holds up. I'd like to see it. I know Daniel Stern's in it. Yeah. Santos. Joe Santos. The cop from Rockford Files. Rockford Files. That's amazing. All right, well, that was fun. Oh, here it is, Star 80. Let's see.

That'd be an amazing thing if you pull it out. She turns out to be in that, but I don't think she was. Mariel Hemingway, of course. I thought she was one of the playmates of that. Cliff Robertson. Who's great as you have heard. Yeah, I don't see her listed anywhere.

She would have been pretty older at that point. And, uh, probably not in something like that. Alright. But, anyway, we need a name for that game. and probably not in something like that. All right. But anyway, we need a name for that game, and I think we'll play it again sometime. It was fun.

I think we will. Yeah, it's interesting. I mean, let me know what you think, if you guys think it's interesting. Yes, you'd hate it. Yeah, and thanks for listening to all 32, approaching 33 minutes Of this

Rental car episode And we hope to see you out on the road Somewhere And as always April Fool's Day is a shithead Now it's time for Doug to watch another Talkie Eyes of gold his viewing prowess makes him cocky

There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies