Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car XIV

Episode Date: May 25, 2012

While driving from the airport to the hotel in Nashville, TN, Doug and Graham play 6 Degrees: Hold the Bacon. Plus the Leonard Maltin Game from the Improv in Houston, TX....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey everybody, me llamo Doug And me llamo movies I don't know Spanish This is Doug Loves Movies coming to you from a rental car.

What kind of motor vehicle is this, Graham? Doug, we're in a Chevy Impala. Kind of a big old man car. You know what I mean? You are a big old man. Big old man. Yeah, big trunk. We are driving from the airport in Nashville, Tennessee to the hotel also in Nashville, Tennessee.

So this should be a quick one. It's Friday, May 25th to Ocean's 12th. My guest slash driver of the car is Graham Elwood. Hi, Graham. Hi. Since last I spoke and you listened, I did a really fun episode of Death Squad's, I think it's live with Joe Rogan or Ice House Chronicles. Red Band has so many names for his shows.

I don't know what's happening half the time. But Joe Rogan, Brian Red Band, Ari Shafir, Sam Tripoli, Dom Irera, and Joey Cocodiez aka AtMadFlavor on Twitter. Wake up you cocksuckers! Wake up cocksuckers!

Anyway, they were all there and you can check it out for free wherever you get podcasts. Yesterday, Graham and I flew to Houston, where we did a show at the world-famous Improv in Houston. Great crowd, super fun Leonard Maltin game. So much fun. Graham Elwood versus the world. Let's go ahead and have a listen. It's exciting what time it is right now because it's time to get Graham Elwood back up on the stage. Graham Elwood, everybody.

Get over there, Graham. Grab a microphone. We're having a great time here at the Houston Improv. What's up? Yeah, Graham. Grab a microphone. We're having a great time here at the Houstonian Prov. This is the best crowd we've had here in Houston. It's been really fun. I wish we were shooting a movie tonight. It'd be in the movie more if it was this crowd. Our last crowd was stupid. I'm kidding! Some of you were here! Remember from earlier when we talked about it?

I don't. Let's see what's in the prize bag, Graham. Bullshit prize bag! Ladies and gentlemen, prize bag. Yeah, yeah. It's a gold gym bag. Whenever people see me with a gold gym bag, they're like, you work out? Yeah, I'd be 400 fucking pounds if I didn't. We have in here a copy of Palm Strike Dance Party. Palm Strike Dance Party. Palm Strike.

Featuring the hit single, Palm Strike Dance Party! Paul Strike! Featuring the hit single, Paul Strike Dance Party. We played like crazy. The sound wasn't very good on the show in Atlanta, so you couldn't hear it very good. But we'll play it again sometime. You'll also win some stickers that say Freak Dance, the movie from Matt Besser and the folks at UCB. Yeah, love them. Also, my first album, Professional Humor, Evian is in here. And...

Yeah! Yeah! And the Pazistas et d'Austants. I have... Yeah, French is my second language. I stick mostly with English, because I don't know French. A Douglas Movies t-shirt! People are excited.

So let's see those name tags. Did you guys bring name tags? Where's the guy with the cake? Where's the cake at? He didn't leave it on the range. That's really cool. He didn't leave it on the rain. Carry it. Carry it. That's really cool. Some people are like, what the hell is happening here? You guys are awesome.

Is that like a Boba Fett helmet or something? No, it's a firefighter. Oh, a firefighter. Just a firefighter. Please don't play music. It was a great idea to throw on a song, y'all, and get sued for using later because I'm recording this part of the show that will include in the next episode when Graham and I are driving to the next town.

Yeah! Do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do, do-do! Like you were going to tiptoe out into the crowd, stealing that interview somewhere. But that was a good, good, good work in this album. Yes. It was a good idea. I kept playing.

I would have snuck out and sucked my dick in that cake. This crowd would love it if you did that. Yes! Yes, you cake fucker! There's like five people that don't have name tags that are just walking out right now. We're not a part of this. This isn't what we expected.

Kill Phil? Oh no, what? You put Michael Bay's son in with her? This is so evil. You do have the same size feet as she does. Yeah. She's all, oh, they call it Michael Bay's head. Oh, that's pretty fucking sweet.

Alright, so Graham has to pick a name tag. You want the firefighter helmet? You want the cake? Do you want whatever that napkin is? Vanessa scribbled something down on her napkin. Very, a lot of ingenuity on there. I love this Avengers with my face on the Iron Man. That's pretty sweet.

I gotta get a picture of that before we go tonight. That sign is awesome, but this gentleman got denied because of the cake. Yeah, he almost didn't get the cake in the middle of the day. Bring that cake up here. Very cool. And we'll autograph your kid on it. Yeah, bring that dick cake up here. And this guy might lose.

The cake guy might lose. Cake balls? Cake balls! Cake balls! Cake balls! Ice tea! Butter. I know. I know you're carrying a cake, but could you get up here any slower? Jesus. You have to cut this part out.

Here, I'll put it on this way. Here's the stage. Take the cake from it. Grab the cake. Now throw it on the ground. I always want to do violent things with the cake. Here comes Joe. He brought his beer too. This guy is on it. He's wearing his pajama top. What does the cake say on it, Graham? It just has... It's just what? What is it? It just has strawberries on it.

Oh, that's a nice fucking cake. That's fucking awesome. I'm going to eat this shit. Oh, you should be. What's your phone? Trace Legends? Well, you know I don't speak French, but that sounds... That sounds delicious. All right, Graham speak French, but it sounds delicious.

All right, Graham, here, put it on the stool over here. Here, see? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if Joey doesn't win tonight, let's both grab a handful and throw it into the crowd. You guys are excited about that? Yes! I'm going to my face! That's why we're here. What's he whispering in your ear?

We're just going to make out after the show. You guys, it's like you should have called each other and said what tops you were wearing. So you didn't look like false-tri Tonight Dance Party twins. Alright Joey, come sit right up here my friend. Come on. Don't be afraid. Get in there, Joey. Cause you get to pick a category.

Most of the people here, a lot of the people here know how this works. I'm getting the uh, that might not be an option. Alright, try to speak into the microphone, Joey. When you get a chance. Get right up there against Graham's face. Talking to his face.

I'm out. All the fucking soldiers out of here. He just got called up. He just got called up. This dude just got called up. He's like, I'm out. I got to hunch you weird and Walk my way out of here. Hunchy Weird Walk.

Put on that Pink Panther song. Here comes Hunchy Weird Walk. All right, here's your options. You can play Yuck. And that's a movie where Leonard Maltin's entire review of that movie is the word yuck. With a lot of C's and a lot of H's. All right, take it back.

It's the last word of the review. He gives a full review, but then the last word is yuck. Or, natal attraction. That's a movie where a birth takes place. Or, keep it crispy. That's movies where someone a birth takes place. Or, Keep It Crispy. That's movies where someone is set on fire. Gamer, yeah! Gamer, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Which one of those do you like, Joey?

Keep It Crispy, please? Keep It Crispy! There was never a game show contestant of you. I'm Keep It Crispy the Beast. What is Keep It Crispy? You get to choose between the years 1974 and 2010. Which year? 2010 for 100 please.

All right Joey, settle down. Are you wearing pajamas up close? I like them. You guys sat down a while ago. I don't think I said something earlier. You're both wearing pajamas. Okay, the year is 2010. I have to ask Joey very quickly, is it okay if we record you for the podcast? Yes.

We gotta get the audio, we can't get it not. We have to ask everybody that when they come up here. And please don't yell out in the audience if you think you know the answer. Leonard Walton gives this movie where someone is set on fire. Two stars. It's from 2010. He says about this movie

that it is an orgy of excess and that it leaves a bad taste behind. Yeah. And he lists 12 names. How many names do you think you can get it in? Joey, Cake Boss, Cake Boss. Ten names? Good opening bid, Joey, Cake Boss, Cake Boss! I would say seven names. Good opening bit, Joey. K-Pos. K-Pos!

I would say... Seven names. Oooh. What's gonna happen now, Joey? Six names. Oh, aggressive, Joey. Joey Six Names is in the house. Little Joey Six Names is in the house. Little Joey Six Names is fucking gay. Oh!

Come on, Pajama Twins. Slumber Party! You said Six? Mm-hmm. I did say Six. Name that movie, Joey. Oh, Joey. Oh, Joey. Do you need the clues again, Joey?

I'll give them to you again. You look like you need them. It's an orgy of excess, leaves a bad taste, two stars from Leonard, didn't care for it, the year is 2010, and your six names,

and someone gets set on fire, and your six names are Randall Battenkoff, Jason Fleming, Linda Fonseca, Clark Duke, Michael Rispoli, and Xander Berkley. So go ahead and pick up

your cake. And go back to your summer. And I'm not going to You pick up your cake... You pull it out to your stomach... You're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, know, I'm going to Joey's party, I'm doing a show. Do you want to leave it out in your car or in your van? He's like one of those guys that sells roses in a dance club, he just sells cakes. You want a cake? You want a cake? Do you have a handsome mom? Just name any movie where someone will set on fire and you might get it right.

What do you think it is? I don't know. Alright, I'll read some more names, see if anybody knows it. Omari Hardwick, Chloe Grace Moretz, Mark Strong, Nicholas Cage, Gets Got on Fire in Kick-Ass!

You love that movie too, don't you? Alright, take your cake and go. Thank you, Joey. Bring it out to the lobby, will ya? Yeah, bring it out to the lobby. We want to be responsible for it. Joey! Oh, Joey.

He has a shithead. You want to read his shithead? Oh yeah, yeah, but just remember it if you can. Okay. Alright. Pick another remember it? Okay. All right. Pick another contestant, Graham. Pick another one. Come on up here. Bill Will.

Come on up here, buddy. I still have a favorite. All right, buddy. I think I have applause for all of the name tags. You guys have done an amazing job. You are amazing. Amazing. Get over there. You're a kid. Your name is Will. You are amazing. Amazing. Get over there.

You're a kid as your name will. This is amazing. You put me over and you put a kitten hand. Jazz hands. Jazz hands. It's over her vagina. I'm sure that was a mistake. And then I'm killing Michael Bay.

That's sort of fucking awesome. Yeah, some sort of cat pussy. Yeah, it's a cat pussy. Yeah, it's a cat pussy. Redundant. Redundant. I'm just trying to get those kids. Alright, Kill Will, you get to pick a category from the following options. Would you like me love you wrong time?

That's time travel romance movies. Or, or would you like fuck the police That's movies that Sting is in Or celebrating a birthday today Mr. Tommy Chong 24 today Had to include him

So the movies of Tommy Chong Which one of those would you like to play? I had to include him. So, the movies of Tommy Chong. Which one of those would you like to play? Fuck the Police, Tommy Chong, or... What was the first one? Me Love You Wrong Time. Fuck the Police. Alright.

Fuck the Police. This movie has sting in it. It's from 1998. Leonard Maltin gives it 2.5 stars. This movie has sting in it. It's from 1998. Leonard Mullen gives it two and a half stars. He says this movie is about a young smart aleck, and he also calls it outlandish, audacious, and funny. And there are four, five, six, seven, nine names listed for this movie from 1998 that has Sting in it.

What, how many do you think you can get it in, Will? Seven. Good opening, Ben. Graham says what? I'll say five. Five names he says. When you say that, you will say five. All right. I have a good feeling about this, Will. Do you want the clues again, Graham? that you will sense life. Alright.

I have a good feeling about this, Will. Do you want the clues again, Graham? Yes, sir. It's a couple things and another thing. Your five names are outlandish, audacious, funny, and it's about a young, smart aleck. And your five names are P.H. Moriarty.

That's three of the names. P.H. Moriarty that's three of the names P.H. Moriarty Lenny McClain Sting Vinnie Jones and Stephen McIntosh what do you think it is? somebody over there thinks they know it

Graham is shaking his head I think Kill Will is going gonna cruise to victory. American Pie 2. Really? You think Sting was in one of the American Pie movies? I think he just walks in, I'd fuck a blueberry one.

I'd fuck a pie for eight hours. Well, look at that. Tanger Pie. Tanger Pie. I'm talking pie for eight hours! I got my name because I like fucking honey pies. Is that even a thing? A honey pie? It's a Beatles song. Alright, the rest of the names are Jason Statham, Nick Moran, Dexter Fletcher, and Jason Flemings. And it's called Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. Gil Will is our winner!

Congratulations! Grab your prize bag! Congratulations, grab your prize bag. Right there is your prize bag. Thanks a lot dude. One more time for Graham Nolan everybody. Wait Graham, wait. As always... Oh, people who think Heath Ledger is a better drummer than Jack Nicholson are shitheads. Wow!

That's a heavy shithead. The kill Will I mean it was The kill Will sign And a cake It was a very Very sweet combo Of Yeah

But congrats to Will And Joey I'm sorry your cake Didn't Didn't win It was like the cake Was doing the thinking For him Yeah he had a cake brain For sure Cause he was kinda like Oh When I started Didn't win. It was like the cake was doing the thinking for him.

Yeah, he had a cake brain for sure. Because he was kind of like, oh, when I started listing more names from whatever that movie was. And I completely disagree with that shithead about his shithead. Heath Ledger forever. Oh, come on. Jack Nicholson is nice, but Heath Ledger's the best joker. He's one of the best. Nicholson was great at the time, but that's because we didn't know that there could be a young, scary person playing the part instead of an old, you know,

droll person. Yeah. That like is funny, but. Can't be. How scary is he? Yeah. Not very. Does anyone in this car hunger for games? I do, Doug. Okay, good. Let's play some Six Degrees Hold the Bacon. Now, here's the new wrinkle I thought of, Graham, that might make it work better. We'll see. See if it fixes it. What we'll do is we'll each say a name of an actor or actress at the same time. And then whoever we've decided is playing first will get those two names.

So one person can't just think of two names that have never worked together. So in the spontaneity of it, we may get accidentally named two actors that were in something together and the person will remember that and and then they'll say it, and they'll have their zero degrees. Got it. Yeah, yeah. So let's say, how are you doing on directions? Do you know where we're going?

Yeah, I got a good idea. Okay, so we'll have you go first. You know what? Another thing I was thinking is we can get all the names, and then we can both think about it for a while, and as soon as somebody has something, he says it it and then the other guy has to say his and uh you know if he has doesn't have anything by that point then he's screwed it's complicated especially when you're driving a car so it's we have to do it sometime when i'm behind the wheel but let's uh let's get our names uh

at the count of three this these will be for me, because that's the other thing you can do, is you can name a name that will be helpful to you, you know what I'm saying? Right. So, an actor who you know a lot of their work and a lot of things they were in and people they were in with it. Okay. So, this is for you. Okay.

Ready? One, two, three. John Lithgow. Gerard Depardieu. All right, so those are your two names. Gerard Depardieu and John Lithgow. So you can start thinking about how you're going to get those two connected. And then we'll do two names for me.

One, two, three. Woody Allen. Oh, Meryl Streep. You cocksucker. Woody Allen and Meryl Streep. You cocksucker. Woody Allen and Meryl Streep were in Manhattan together. Zero degrees. Bam. I like that.

I like that aspect of it. Now, can you think of a movie that starred Gerard Depardieu and John Lithgow together? All right. Gerard Depardieu was in Green Card with Andy McDowell. Andy McDowell Bill Murray was in... He was in a lot of movies. Fuck. I can feel Twitter exploding right now. He was in...

Yeah, don't send it to me. Don't send how to link these two up to me. It wasn't my genius idea to say Gerard Day-Burdue. Gerard Day-Burdue. Andy McDowell. Andy McDowell. Bill Murray. Bill Murray.

Bill Murray to... Groundhog Day. Bill Murray. Let's go with Bill Murray. Oh, I got it. And... I know how you can do it. And...

Oh! Oh! Bill Murray to... Oh, shit. Bill Murray to... Hold on. I got some traffic issues. Okay.

Traffic issues, folks. Settle down. Squirrel it up. Well, I've got some traffic issues. Okay, traffic issues, folks. Settle down. Squirrel it up. Well, I would go, Bill Murray was in What About Bob with Richard Dreyfuss, and Richard Dreyfuss was in The Big Fix with John Lithgow. I'm pretty sure John Lithgow was in that. The Big Fix? Yeah.

Huh. But I'm going to have to look into that. I was going to say, I was trying to get Bill Murray to Robin Williams and then go GARP, and then GARP to Lithgow. Oh. But were Bill Murray and Robin Williams in something together? Oh, shit. I got on the wrong.

You did? What? My blue dot is saying we're going. It said merge on onto 65 north. Is that what this is? Now we're on the 24? What? How did that happen?

How did we get on 24 west? Oh, shit. All right, well, you lose in more ways than one. You are a loser In directions and six degrees Of no bacon Damn it It's tricky

Trying to play a game and find your way At the same time I think you're really good at it Except for how you blew it in both cases But it's A lot of pressure. Son of a bitch. I think we're doing good, though. Yeah, we're real close.

We're getting in the area. We're in the ballpark. I'm going to do a recalculation. Why are we driving in a ballpark? We're doing some interesting construction over here. That's right. A bunch of machines that are just turned off and sitting there. We'll finish that someday.

Now what's your blue dot telling you? Here we go. Yeah, we're heading the right way. All right, good. I love the new version of the game. So do I. That's a fun way to play it because you get lucky sometimes and you get two actors that work together.

Graham and I will be at the Funny Bone in Virginia Beach, June 23rd and 24th at 420, playing Leonard Maltin game, Graham Elwood vs. the World, at the end of those shows. Hopefully five people won't get up and walk out like they did in Houston. I mean, that's the thing. They can if they want to. That's their business. It's like an extra thing at the end of the show. They can be like, I just came for the stand-up. I'm done. Yeah.

Thank you. Or I didn't know who these guys were, and they were mildly entertaining, and I'm done. That was the vibe I got off of those people. Yeah. Because everyone that thought we were really funny, why wouldn't they just stay for the game? Because it's not like we don't say funny shit during the game part, you know? Yeah, I think there was just a handful of people. I think they just didn't give a shit.

It was just a good time to get the hell out of there. Yeah, they're like, let's go. Like, we don't understand what's happening. Why should we? Why is this happening to us? Be on the lookout for the episode that we're going to tape, the Douglas movies we're going to tape here in Nashville, which will be available soon or now, depending on when you listen to this,

in the Comedy Albums section of iTunes. Only $2? $2! You can go to Douglas Movies for all of my tour dates. What are you plugging these days, Graham? A new CD! Palm Strike Dance Party! Palm Strike Dance Party! Palm Strike Dance Party!

It's available at ComedyFilmNerds.com. It's a hard copy that I will personally autograph and a digital download. It's also available at iTunes. Wherever you buy it, if you enjoy it, give a positive review on iTunes. Let me ask you this, though. Will you personally autograph a digital download? Yes, I will. I will come to your computer and autograph the download. ComedyFilmNerds.com Yes. And as always, these are from audience members last night in Houston.

As always, the cancer that got Adam Yauch is a shithead. I agree with that. And this one, I don't know whether you agree or disagree with, because I don't know this particular animal, but a young lady wanted me to say, my dog Casanova is a shithead. Oh, Casanova. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. to say my dog Casanova is a shithead. Oh, Casanova.