Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car XVII

Episode Date: September 15, 2012

On a quick drive to the airport, Graham and Doug discuss The Godfather and play a clip of the Leonard Maltin Game from their stand-up show in Kansas City.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers screaming maybe sticky seeds with 50 azipop or kernels in his teeth. There's still not one that he won't see, cause Doug loves movies. Hey everybody, my name's Doug and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies, coming to you from a rental car. What kind of car is this, Graham? Doug, this is a Toyota RAV4, which is a fine automobile. I own a later model one of these. They're good.

They're good preserving. Hit it. We're driving to the Kansas City airport on Friday, September 14th, 2 Oceans 12. Since last I spoke and you listened, Graham and I flew to Kansas City on Wednesday and that night we saw Christina Perry and Jason Mraz in concert at the Starlight Theater that was great and

I won't give up I don't know what to words I can't think of because I'm tired that's my guest and driver of the car Graham Elwood. Thanks to Steve Kazee from the Broadway Smash Once for hooking me up with tickets. And thanks again to Twitter for making crazy connections happen.

Like I'm friends that Christina Perri tweeted about. Oh, it was so fun hanging out with Doug and Graham. All their band members are like... Yeah, she was like, I had a great time with those fucknuts. Those guys are the worst assholes I've ever met. Wouldn't it be funny if her tweets were all guttermouthy? She's so sweet, all her songs are about love, and then she's just like, hey, fuckhead. Hey, you got a shitty face.

What? Why are you saying that to me? Because it's fun. Shit face? And Jason Moran says to me? Because it's fun. Shit face? And Jason Moran's backstage just picking fights with everybody. Which is so not true. He's the nicest guy in the world. Oh yeah, he's a sweetheart. And everyone on his whole crew is all like

nice and cool. It's just like this hippie vibe and we got those bottles of Save the Earth water. Save the Earth bottles. So we can just reload those When we're going through airports and stuff Yeah Which is a nice thing

Last night we did a show at the Improv in Kansas City Mo Not to be confused with Kansas City, Kansas Because apparently the two cities Cannot stand the idea that they have to exist Near each other I don't know, it's like Northern Ireland When Jason Mraz at that hippie love fest said,

hey, this side of the, what side is this? Is this the Kansas side? Because I guess the theater might be near the border or something. It's like, is this the Kansas side? Boo! Like, what? Who's booing at a Jason Mraz show? Let's boo Kansas.

But like. No, they're fucking corn. But who is booing anything? Anything at a Jason Mraz show? Let's boo Kansas. But like... No, they're fucking corn. But who is booing anything? Anything at a Jason Mraz show should not be booed. He has love. That's the name of his album. But they do serve a lot of giant beers at that kind of venue. And a nice outdoor

theater. They like to let people get ripped. We played the Leonard Maltin game last night in Kansas City, and you can hear that at the end of this mini Boner ep. What was the last movie you saw, Graham? We didn't go to the movies at all while we were here. God, what have I seen recently?

Oh, my goodness. You know what? I just watched The Godfather on DVD because I hadn't seen it in a while. It's still good. Holds up? It still holds up. The Godfather on DVD because I hadn't seen it in a while. It's still good. It still holds up. What a surprise. Yeah, it's amazing. It's not like a little bit slow.

It's probably been four or five years since I've sat down and watched it beginning to end, and I loved it then. I think I might just be so bonery for it because I was watching it with someone who had never seen it, and I could tell they were kind of like, you know, the pacing. And I was like, oh, isn't that amazing what he said? Like, I was picking up on every subtle nuance, because I'd seen the movie a thousand times. And they were probably a little exhausted with my nerdery. Yeah, you were like, look at him put that orange peel in his mouth.

That's a bad sign when that happens. You know something bad's going to happen when somebody puts an orange peel in their mouth and makes a silly face. We all remember. Well, I'm very excited to announce, check out my bonogram, that the greatest movie ever rolled will have its world premiere at Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas on Friday, September 21st. And I'll be taping a Douglas Movies at Fantastic Fest on Wednesday, September 26th at 420.

It was very nice of them to give me that time slot. At the Highball, which is a bar next door to the Alamo Drafthouse Lamar in Austin. And you need a festival badge to get in Greatest Movie Ever Rolled, hashtag GMER. But Douglas Movies will be open to the general public for free, as I understand it. I don't understand a lot of things, so check with Fantastic Fest to see how you can get into that if you don't have a festival badge. But yeah, so Graham can't be there because he's going to be in Kuwait of all

places. Yeah. So if you're stationed in any of the bases in Kuwait, come and check me out. I will be performing there. And if you're not, go to your local recruiter. Is it possible for them, I guess they could hear us, right? Can troops, can soldiers that

are out there download podcasts and listen to them? Yeah, they got access to the internet. That's awesome. Let us know if you're, you know, in the military somewhere and you listen to either of our podcasts. That would be nice to know. I might start a segment called Fora Metaphobes, movies with no vomiting in them, because as I conjectured on the last Douglas movies, I got into a little argument with David Huntsberger. I think most movies these days, someone throws up at some point.

It seems to happen, especially since I've been paying attention, like, for, to help emetophobes, uh, it just seems like seems like every movie has barfing scenes. First of all, hats off to you and the charity work you're doing for emetophobes. You know, I'm trying. I'm told the upcoming Pitch Perfect, which is like a movie about acapella singing, and it's like Glee the movie,

has a scene of vomiting towards the beginning and then another one towards the end. What? Come on, Cleen. People are constantly vomiting. Stop it. We want beautiful music out of those mouths. Not chunks of shit.

What are they eating, for starters? I mean, you know, I meant shit as in stuff. Oh. Chunks of stuff. Got it. Speaking of vomiting, it's almost time to get on a tiny plane where's that gas station when we first pulled that oh we need to get gas because that's what we always do is we refill we fill up the tank because that is a loser move to let them charge you for the gas because they

charge you 17 a gallon or such a sucker's bad. Yeah. But now we've lost track of where the gas station is. It was right when we pulled out. I don't get it. Is it over there by that Marriott over there? Maybe. Or do we have to why don't we just pretend we're exiting the airport again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Follow the signs to the exit.

Maybe it's on the other side of where you pull the cars into. Maybe. I know this is fascinating podcasting. This is what being on the road side of where you pull the cars into. Maybe. I know this is fascinating podcasting. This is what being on the road is, guys. The excitement of the road. The excitement of getting lost. Trying to find gas stations. At the last minute when you're on your way to catch your flight.

But we're making good time. We're doing all right. We're doing okay. We're smart. We're there wheels up. By my calculations, we got about 10 minutes to find gas. Yes. And what an exciting thing this is going to be for people to listen to.

What's all that nonsense over there? Is that it? That's the actual airport. I think it's right up there. What's that tower over there? Is that a gas station? That is a high gas station. Can we get gas stations from that giant tower? That's where you fill up your jet pack. Is that Walt Disney's Tower of Terror? Yes, Doug.

I love that ride. Here it is, buddy. Here's the gas. Well, that'll be a good time to stop the episode now that the suspense is gone. Plus, like, gas, grass, and ass. No one is going to ride for free. I think technically, I mean, even though you're driving, you're riding for free. Kind of.

Kind of. You have to pay for this gas, right? Or do you want to get this one? Whose round is it? So, thanks for listening. Here's last night's Leonard Maltin game from the Kansas City Improv. Hope you like Australian musical instruments. And things that are not safe for work,

like man titties. Does anyone hunger for game? Did you guys bring some name tags? We sent some name tags in the house. Oh, look at that. This is a nice showing. Super High Colin. Planet of the Chicks.

Sunny D. A poster of a movie that I wrote that never got made. Co-wrote. That's nice. Well done. What is it, like a dog in a bag? It's a cow. It's a cow. It's a cow! It's a cow!

It's a cow bag! How did you not know that? Yeah, I'm going to push it over. Oh, yeah. What's that like, Mike, over there? Oh, speaking of cows, don't forget the tip tonight, you guys. The staff had to stay late tonight. So make sure that you give them lots of money. What's that big sign say? JT?

You just wrote JT really big on a sign? Phone home. Oh, JT phone home. That's fun. Boo. Boo. Somebody else in the audience. Boo.

Fuck you. Name tag fight. Fuck you. Yeah. You're right. Nice figure, 47. What is that, a rotten banana? Wow.

That looks awful. That's a bang nana. Bang nana. Oh my god. I want you to get a mustache. I want you to get a mustache.

How would he eat it? We figured this out online. Smoothies. That's what Bane does. It's all smoothies. He just puts up a smoothie. I like a soy protein smoothie. Be sure to throw in a fat burner boost

And immunity boost I've been in a pit for a long time I feel like I'm coming down with a cold Graham, what if Bane was in other famous movies? I'll have what she's having And then everyone's going to die. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and dinnerware. Boss Ice Slayer's second place to gossip.

What? Why would you say that? I'm trying to drive you to the store. He needs to be in more movies. Yeah, he does. That'd be great. All right, pick a name tag. All right, I've been talking with you all night.

Come on. All right, Steve with a didgeridoo. Didgeridoo! Get up here. Shouldn't we get him to play it for a second? Yeah, give us a little taste. Okay, that's enough. Well, you couldn't do that with like a paper towel roll, could you?

That's just so... That was amazing, dude. No, really, play it. So you're not good at it. No, not at all. Graham, you give it a try. Okay, let's play. Hold on. Steve, are we done?

Steve, are we done? It's all screaming for beer. That's not nice. That's not nice. Mine's more like Sean Connery as Bane as Paul Hogan. My name is Bane, and James Bane. I'll have that shaker not stirred. But you have my permission to die, Miss.

Look at me. That's not a Bane thing, that was more me. That was you, we tried to get that guy to look at you. Okay. Steve gets to pick a category. Leonard Maltin game, for those of you who are not familiar, don't get involved in the game. It's between Steve and Graham, and sometimes we get some drunken shout-outs,

but you guys, considering how late this is, you guys seem to have it together. You guys do. Maybe everyone's just dozing off, so that's why there's less... Less yelling. Jesus. Thank you, top-off. It's talking to you, Steve.

Go. Do your thing. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's play something. Oh, Magic Steve. We've got to play some sexy music first if you're going to take it off. All right, ready? Yeah.

All right, ready? Here we go. Oh, wow. I can't be on the stage with that. The stage. Oh, my God, dude. You should try Sober October. See what happens. Those nipples. Those nipples.

Those nipples are reminding me to order the Grand Slam at Denny's tomorrow. Before heading to the airport. Good job. before heading to the airport. Maybe Becky can whip up a nice egg dish with your tits. How about those games, Doug? Becky from MasterChef's here. Okay, Steve, let's do it. Becky from MasterChef's here. Okay, Steve, let's do it. Thank you for MasterChef.

What did that make you want to inspire to cook? Yeah. Vegetables. Vegetables, all right. We're like... I know they don't do the quick-fire challenge on MasterChef, but if they did, they should do one where the guy just takes his shirt off, and then now you have to make something that

like you said, is fire. Some guy in the audience is like It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor at all! It's a brain-swinging killer! Alright, let's play, let's play. Let's play, come on. Come on, Graham.

Alright, we've got a flight to catch in 15 hours. I know. Alright. Which category would you like to play, Steve? Would you like Joseph Gordon Leave It? No. That's movies where Joseph Gordon Leavitt either leaves someone or they leave him. It's a breakup thing. It's a breakup. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Either leave someone or they leave him. It's a breakup thing.

It's a breakup. Joseph Gordon-Levitt breakup movies. And, sir, that's an example of what not to do. Don't shout out, even if it's the wrong answer. Don't shout anything out. Celebrating a birthday today on September 13th is the author Roald Dahl. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

And he's had... Believe me, it's a weird celebrity birthday day. There's not anybody that's ever been in any movies. Or not anybody that's been in any lately. But anyway, not that Roald Dahl's made any movies lately. But a movie that he had something to do with, if you want to pick that. I don't think it's going to get picked.

And then, at MST3Kdork suggested Sad Max. And that's movies where Mel Gibson's wife is dead. Which one do you like, Steve? Doug, are we going to go with Roald Dahl? Holy shit! This guy stepped up to play.

Did not see that coming. Didgeridoo, don't try this at home. One and a half stars. I was shot by a jar. One and a half stars from Leonard for this movie from 1968. Yeah, you stepped in at this time, Steve.

He says about this movie that it has some of the shoddiest special effects ever, and he also says it's loosely based on a book and was later adapted for the stage. If you think you know it, please don't say it out loud. Whisper it to your friends

or shut up. Six names, Leonard Liss. How many names are you going to get in? Six. Six is a smart opening? Yeah, I'm gonna go with six. Zero. There's a guy in the audience that says zero. He's not playing, of course. Five.

He says five, Steve. Name it. Son of a bitch. I think we're going to have a winner. I think we're going to have a winner. I want to get a small palm strike shirt. Oh, yeah. We should just have him do that right now.

Your prize is you have to wear the shirt right away and take pictures with us when we're out in the lobby taking pictures. I will. Put that shirt on. That's going to look great. Game on, man. Here's your five names, Graham. Benny Hill. Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.

Oh, what? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Hey, don't hit it. Don't hit it. Okay. Anna Quayle Gert Frobe Lionel Jeffries Gert Frobe, he played Goldfinger

and Sally Ann Howes I think I pronounced that right Howes The Clues again, it's a role doll it's something to do with this, it's one and a half stars from Leonard it's from 1968 shoddy special effects loosely based on a book adapted for the stage and you have five seconds i will count them down

uh five four three prepared by smoothie Four. Three. Prepare my smoothie. Two. Bye-bye birdie. One. That's not a bad guess because you did have a repeat word in the title.

And this has two pairs of repeat words. The film is called Chitty Chitty Bag Day. Steve is our winner. Congratulations, Steve. That's a surprise bag, buddy. Just in the nick! Congratulations, Steve! I surprised everybody. Just in the nick of time, Steve, don't forget to take that little doll version of me. There you go.

You don't want to come on it? I don't want to. But let me leave the card. I want to save that because I want to get in touch with him about getting more of these for my own personal use. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One more time for Steve, everybody! You guys got a beautiful show. You got impressions.

You got to see some titties. You guys got an amazing program tonight. Grand Melwood, everybody. Grand Melwood. Grand Melwood. That's all... Stop yelling! He's screaming. You have a shithead?

Oh, let me see it. I'll say it. I'll say it. Even though you won, the winner's not supposed to get to name a shithead, but I like this one, and I like you guys. Thank you so much for coming out.

Kansas City! Kansas City! Kansas City! And as always, decriminalization not on the ballot is a shithead. Now it's time for Doug to watch another talk. He's eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you. Because Doug loves movies.