Doug Loves Movies - Rental Car XVIII

Episode Date: December 15, 2012

On a drive from Sun Life Stadium to Ft. Lauderdale, Doug and Graham Elwood discuss the Butt-Numb-A-Thon and play a clip of the Leonard Maltin Game from their stand-up show at the Miami Improv.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug Hates Candy Wrapper Screening Baby Stingy Seats with Gizzy Ads and Popcorn Kernels in his... Hey everybody, my name is Doug and my friend Graham loves movies. Hello! This is Doug and Graham Loves Movies. Back in the rental car. Aw, shit. We're back in a car. Car.

What kind of motor vehicle is this, Graham? We're back in a car. Car. What kind of motor vehicle is this, Graham? Doug, we are in a Chevy Equinox, which is sort of their mid-sized SUV. I like it. It's comfortable. Very nice, comfortable ride. Good air conditioning.

We're just leaving the Miami Dolphins game. Yeah, it's Sunday, December 16th, 2 Oceans 12. Yeah, it's Sunday, December 16th, 2 Oceans 12. That's Graham Elwood, and we are on the highway outside of the Sun Life Stadium in Miami, Florida, after the Dolphins beat the Jacksonville Jaguars. Well, this isn't the final, but when we left, it was 16-3. Yeah. So, congratulations Dolphins

and sorry Jacksonville. We're headed to Fort Lauderdale where we'll be doing a stand-up show tomorrow night at the Improv. That's December 17th at 8 o'clock. Jokes and then some Leonard Maltin game at the end,

so bring your name tag, South Florida. Come on! I'll play the audio from the very fun Leonard Maltin game portion of yesterday's 420 show at the Miami Improv at the end of this mini Boner Rep. Speaking of Jacksonville, we'll be doing two movie interruptions at the Sun of this mini Boner ep. Speaking of Jacksonville, we'll be doing two movie interruptions at the Sunray Cinemas

on January 5th and 6th, both at 420. The first day is RoboCop, and the second day is Dirty Dancing. I'll buy that for a dollar. I don't believe they said that in Dirty Dancing. Oh, they didn't? I'm sorry. But they did say nobody puts RoboCop in a dollar. I don't believe they said that in Dirty Dancing. Oh, they didn't? I'm sorry.

But they did say nobody puts Robocop in a corner. January 3rd we'll be at the Orlando Improv. Same deal. Jokes plus games equals fun. They so do. New Year's Eve. What are you doing New Year's Eve, Graham? Just kicking it?

I'm just kicking it. I've got December 20th I'm in Santa Barbara. The 27th I'm just kicking it. I'm just kicking it. I've got, yeah, December 20th, I'm in Santa Barbara. The 27th, I'm with you in Irvine. Irvine Improv. What about, how much would it take, how much would someone have to pay you to come to a set at their New Year's Eve party? Like, transpo, you know, like air, hotel, and how much money? Do it for like $1,500? Yeah. Okay. So contact Graham on Twitter if you want him to come yell and whistle at you at your New Year's Eve party. Could be in your house. Yeah. I'll whistle a countdown. Yeah, he'll whistle the countdown at midnight. And you drop a ball at midnight, I'll palm strike it.

He'll be the life of the party, and he'll also make sure everyone goes home early. I will clear out your party for an extra fee. Tuesday night, we're doing the, Graham's going to be a part of the third annual 12 Guests of Christmas. You mean defending champion champion Graham Elwood? You won last year. That's goddamn right. Oh, Jesus. All right, well then, I believe the prior year, Scott Aukerman won.

Yeah, but he did not win last year, so he's a loser. Okay, so he's not the... So hopefully he'll be there to keep it interesting for you. I got a Christmas card at UCB recently from a nice lady. And she wrote, Dear Mr. Benson, thank you for all the laughs. Your podcast is my very favorite and I'm so glad I get to see it live every week. So she comes to the UCB shows.

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Thanks again for everything. Much love, Lauren. I'm not going to say her last name because I don't know if she even intended for me to share that. But that was nice. And as always, you don't have to bring me things or give me things. Just listen to the show and enjoy. And this is kind of cool, Graham.

I was at the Harry Knowles Alamo Drafthouse Button-O-Mathon in Austin, Texas, where we watched 26 hours straight of motion pictures and different things. And then someone there gave me a pair of folks at, whatchamacallit,

is it Oakley? Sunglasses? Oh, cool. They made these insane I'll take some free sunglasses. Oh, cool. They made these insane... I'll take some free sunglasses. No, dude. Wraparound glasses for 3D movies. So it's totally covering

your eyes and doesn't even feel like you have glasses on. Love it. Oh, you're going to hit that car. Oh, no, it's just my 3D glasses that I'm wearing. I don't think they work as sunglasses at all, but... How crazy is that? I mean, I're going to hit that car. Oh, no, it's just my 3D glasses that I'm wearing. I don't think they work as sunglasses at all. How crazy is that? I mean, I'm going to wear these when I'm forced to go see 3D. I'm still not sold on the format.

I'm still not into it, but at least I have these cool glasses that I got. And I just wanted to go through Graham, and since we're driving back to uh we're driving to fort lauderdale i have a little bit of time here um the movies that they showed that harry put together for the uh but numbathon so you can numb it you can you can kind of uh get your own impression of what the experience was like because in between each movie would have like 10 minutes to like you know go outside and do what you've got to do. And it was like 160, 180 people at the Alamo Drafthouse Lamar location. And first, because it was kind of a gag, because they show part of it every year,

and then they stop it, because one guy really loves loves it they showed uh teen wolf when was the last time you saw teen wolf i watch it on a loop every day no you don't and it was so funny they got through most of it and but the film the quality of the film was so bad the copy that they had that it uh it burned up in the projector like during the final the big final game. And I don't even remember how it ends. I think they just win. But I think they win without his wolf powers.

I think he just plays like a normal player. He just wants to be a regular kid. Yeah. But there was some, you know, it was kind of weird to sit down and there's going to be a lot of exciting premieres and a lot of movies in the Button-Up-A-Thon. And to start off, but first we're going to sit through Teen Wolf.

I was pretty bemused the whole time. Like, I'm about to see ten more feature films, but first Teen Wolf. But there's some really funny lines in it. Like, it's funnier than I remember it. It's still pretty cheesy. Really? It doesn't hold up? No, but with an audience like that was the cool thing

is it really yeah it's something that i want to do eventually is like program these kinds of uh events where you can you could see a movie that you love with uh a whole bunch of other film fans and people are excited to be there that's the best way to do it like there's so many cool movies there's like you know so bad it's good. Like, there's so many cool movies. There's like you know, so bad it's good movies, and then there's just actual classics that would be fun to watch with a packed crowd. Yeah, well that's what they had

at all at this thing. The second movie we watched, all two hours and 46 minutes of it, was The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey. Wow. Which you have not seen yet. No, sir. But you're going to see soon and then do an all-spoilers episode of Comedy Film Nerds? January 1st, to answer your question what I'm doing New Year's Eve,

I will be resting up because we're going to record on New Year's Day, myself, Chris Mancini, of course, and Jackie Cation. Chris and Jackie are huge Tolkien, Hobbit, nerd people. We're going to do a regular episode. And you're not. I'm not. We're going to do a regular episode that we normally do, and then like we did with Dark Knight Rises, a spoiler alert, an all spoiler alert

episode, so it's only for people that have seen the entire movie, because we're going to talk about everything. The ending and everything about it. We're going to give away all the answers to Gollum's riddles. All of them. Riddles in the Cave or Riddles in the Dark, whatever the sequence is called, is one of the best sequences in all of the Tolkien,

Peter Jackson movies, in my opinion. Because in the other ones, I liked Gollum okay, but I didn't know what all the fuss was about. But in this one, Gollum's pretty good. He's good stuff. Shut up. Idiot. Then we saw, and this is where shit gets crazy,

then we saw Broadway Melody of 1940, which was one of those kind of annual movies where they kind of thread together a plot that's set in kind of a showbiz theatrical world. So there's an excuse to have performances, musical numbers. It's not just people bursting into song for no reason. And then they have like different variety acts. They had this one ventriloquist, not ventriloquist, a juggler lady

that was just, it was insane what she was, the juggling things she did. And clearly not, you know, they didn't use camera tricks or anything. But Fred Astaire. Yeah, of course. Eleanor Powell, I think, was the girl, yeah, the lady in it. And just so much fun to watch with a packed house of people that appreciated it. And then the fourth movie was The Gang's All Here, which was like a Technicolor, because a Broadway melody of 1940 was in black and white.

Then they showed a Technicolor Busby Berkeley movie with what's-her-nots, Carmen Miranda with her crazy fruit hats. Most of my Carmen Miranda experience has just been Bugs Bunny dressing up as her whenever he needs to act sexy and get away with something. That's what Bugs Bunny dressing up as her whenever he needs to act sexy and get away with something. That's what Bugs Bunny's all about. Yeah, he really is about acting sexy to get his ways.

He's so sexy. So then the delightful Guillermo del Toro dropped by and dropped a million F-bombs because that's what he does during a Q&A. He swears like a motherfucker. Like a motherfucker. And he brought Mama, which is this new movie he produced, a PG-13 horror film that's coming out in January.

And then, of course, keywords PG-13. So I was not scared by hardly a moment of it. It's got some good creepy imagery. It's about these kind of like children that get left alone in the woods when their father kills himself. And then they're super feral. And then also there's like some sort of presence that's their mother. That's why it's called Mama. some sort of presence that's their mother.

That's why it's called Mama. There's this weird spectral mother figure hanging around and causing all sorts of ghostly troubles. PG-13, though. But they showed, it was fun to see on the big screen, the trailer for Pacific Rim.

Do you know what that is? That's Del Toro's, you know, that's going to be his Star Wars. He wants to make a bunch of them. It's basically giant robots run by humans to fight with Godzilla and Mothra and this whole... I don't know specifically which monsters

because they don't show them too closely in the previews, but it's a big robots versus monsters movie. Love it. By one of the better directors we've got going right now. Gilly. Gilly Del Tours. So that was super neat. And we saw the first eight minutes of World War Z.

And this is how big this thing is, Graham. Even though it's just 180 people sitting up all night watching movies, Brad Pitt recorded a straight-to-camera introduction for this thing. Like, hi, button-um-a-thoners. Hope you're not falling asleep yet, because now you're going to watch the first eight minutes exclusive of World War Z. It looks so good! Well, you know, people are wigging out about the CGI,

you know, that the zombies look, you know, a little too computer generated. But I felt that way a little bit in the trailer, but the first eight minutes, it's pretty solid filmmaking, pretty exciting. And it is kind of a cool idea to just have, like, not just fast zombies, but too many of them. You know, like they're crawling over each other to get to you. That scene where they're just jumping over that thing and they're just gunning them down. Just huge too many of them. You know, like they're crawling over each other to get to you. That scene where they're just jumping over that thing and they're just

gunning them down. Just huge mounds of them, and yeah, getting shot down. They're just nuts. It's like, that looks so good. Yeah, it looks really crazy. And we're almost home. That went by so fast. We're almost at the hotel where we're gonna stay at. I don't like to give it away

because people will come by and creep on us. Do you check in under a fake name yet, Graham? Because my fake name is I use your name. So I'm going to get all the ladies that are trying to call you in the middle of the night from a hotel phone.

Oh, nice. I get a lot of that. A lot of ladies call me in the middle of the night from a hotel phone. Hello? So that was only, we've only talked about phone oh nice yeah i get a lot of that a lot of ladies call me in the middle of the night for my hotel phone hello so that was only we've only talked about like the first five movies that we saw and i sat up i stayed up through the entire thing some people nodded off during the more late night movies wow so uh the next uh you know road up or whatever we'll have some time to actually talk about it uh i'll tell you the rest of the uh the rest of the lineup

plus if you go to ain't it cool news they've got it you know listed there what movies they showed and you have to to in order to get in and be a guest to be in the audience uh for the button umathon harry knolls has people write like essays about why they love the movies so like the whole audience is just all these people that are just super crazy diehard movie fans and really fun people to hang out with. So I'm going to try to crash that every year from now on. And it's usually

in the first or second weekend of December. What do you got to plug as we pull into the parking garage at the hotel? Well, of course the Comedy Film Nerd Guide to Movies makes an excellent holiday gift. It'll be autographed by at least three of the writers. Go to ComedyFilmNerds.com.

And, yeah. And all my tour dates and everything are at GrahamElwood.com. Got some fun. Oh, I'll be in Oahu January 26th. And I will be headlining Zany's in Chicago. Downtown Chicago February 6th through 10th.

That date just got added. Very nice. So come and enjoy. We've got a lot of friends in Chicago. Yeah, Chi-town, baby. My hometown. Alright. Okay.

You've done more than enough. Buddy. Who should we call a shithead at the end of this one? What's been a big shithead lately? Ted Nugent. Okay. All right. Enjoy the Leonard Mullen game from Miami, you guys.

And thanks to everyone who came out in Miami. We were 100 people strong. And it was a very nice time. And as always, Ted Nugent is a shithead forever. Okay, does anyone reindeer for games?

It's the holiday season. We're going to go to this one. Ooh, nice. The price tag has Gravel with Paul Strachan's Party, Doug Benson's Smug Life, a No-Mosley's T-shirt. Oh, no, this is a huge

fake tech right here. Oh, my God. So that's you? That's a picture of you? Sort of. Sort of? It's a picture of you? Sort of. It's either you or Martin Short. It is. And it says,

Michelle, you're holding two cats. She has kitten hands. She's drinking coconut water. Coconut water. And at the bottom it says, now gluten free. If ever a name tag would speak to her.

That's it. That's the one. That is the most suck-up-y name tag. What's this one over here, though? This one looks really cool. It's Barbarella. Ooh. The Barbara.

Queen of the Galaxy. Nice. And then you put your face on there? Yeah. Nice. We got a clapperboard over here. Is your name on it? Yes. Yeah, what's your name? here. Is your name on it? Yeah.

Yeah, what's your name? I can't read it for you. Derek. Derek? And Ian just wrote Ian on a piece of paper. This guy has a Who Framed Roger Ebert poster. Yeah. That would be a fucked up movie.

Yeah, that would. This gentleman is holding DVDs, and it says, Danny has free martial art movies. Man, you guys are fucking... Yeah, you really stepped up the game. Nice. That's on par with that one. You guys are competing for...

Look, Larry has a business card. And on the other side it says diarrhea. Spelled totally wrong. I just sounded out. Diarrhea. Spelled totally wrong. I just sounded out. Diarrhea. He wants us to say diarrhea as a shithead if he doesn't win, but he's definitely not going to win

and I already said it. Kyle has the ecstatic icolizum. Paul, we've spent a lot of time. IMDB, what are these? Glut-free cupcakes. Glut-free cupcakes? Damn, y'all are fighting it out. Anybody have a samurai sword? IMDb. IMDb, I hardly even knew her. Huh?

Wait a minute. Did I do that wrong? No, yeah. It's supposed to be rectum. Oh, okay. IPMD, rectum. No. No, how does this,

I don't know how to say it. Who's on first? Rectum. Oh, I keep doing it wrong. All right, let's play the game. Grant. Grant, pick somebody who put the most work into their name tag

or the most sucking up with their name tag. Well, those two combined are Michelle right here. Come on up. Come on, Michelle. My mom, my mom. I made her cry. Bring your name tag. Bring your name tag.

Show everybody the majesty and the splendor of a team. All right, stand over here. Right here. Right in the middle. Right in the middle. Hold your name tag up so everyone can see it Near the hearth In front of the fake fireplace

I think that's a studio apartment That's not a fucking hearth That's like a garden apartment Who would live there? Maybe Terry with his diarrhea Or maybe a garden gnome A big garden gnome Are you going to go see The Hobbit, Graham?

Yes. We're going to do a spoiler alert episode of The Hobbit for Comedy Filmers. Yes. Are you just going to go watch it and then tell everybody exactly what happens? Well, we did that with Dark Knight Rises. We did a, only if you've seen the movie, we warn everybody. So we're going to talk about the whole film. Because we don't do spoiler alerts on comedy film nerds

but we did it with Dark Knight Rises and we're going to do it with The Hobbit where we talk. So only if you've seen the whole movie should you listen to that specific episode. Does Chris love those movies? Yeah, Chris and Jackie Cajun are big fucking Hobbit nerd fans.

Yeah, you're not that into it. No, they're going to be arguing with me probably most of the episode. Fantastic. I've got diarrhea. Alright, we're going to be arguing with me probably most of the episode. Fantastic. I've got diarrhea. All right, we're going to play. We're going to give Michelle a shot here to beat Graham in one round of the Leonard Maltin game. Or she can just beat him over the head with a giant name tag.

I would enjoy watching that. This is just between Michelle and Graham. So if you think you know the answer, you guys, don't yell out. Don't yell out. Yeah, and Michelle gets to pick a category from these delightful, delightful options. There's Me, Me, Me, Me, Me, and that's movies that have the word me in the title. Ooh. Yeah.

Or. All right, gods must be crazy. Or. That's an awesome reference, Mayor of Fart Town suggested Alex Crossdresser, and that's the films of Tyler Perry. Medea films, more specifically. And then your third option is Love Actually, and that's movies where two of the actors in the movie are married in real life. And let me give you one more

because we can't do that one, actually. Because I already did that one on the show. Did you see the Pink Floyd, the fucking wallet chain? Did you see that? No. That's not even a gift pick.

That's not even a name tag. That's just fucking awesome. Look at this. Did I fucking nerd your fucking soul off right there? That's amazing. Thank you. Sure. Anything else? No, we're good. We can go back to... Speaking of amazing, what's that around your neck?

Is that supposed to give you eternal life or something? Yes, it does. Yeah, I just happened to get this in Cozumel, so whatever, it's working a cruise ship. How you doing? I love that bragging about working a cruise ship. A bunch of people vomit on my shoes for four days. All right, so forget about...

Forget love, actually. No time for love, Dr. Jones. That's movies where Harrison Ford does not have sex. No Time for Love, Dr. Jones! Is what Short Round says in Temple of Doom. Which one of those do you like, Michelle? Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Michelle was chosen me, me, me, ladies and gentlemen. Me, me, me, me, me. Category chosen by Michelle. Okay, this movie has the word me in the title. It's from the year 2009. Leonard Maltin gives it three stars.

He says this is a movie where the director returns to his roots. And he also says about this movie that the lead actress gives a good performance. But the predictable ending is a letdown. Okay, and he lists six names. How many names do you think you can get in, Michelle? One. One name? Whoa!

That's a game to play. Are you gluten-free in your life? Yeah, see? We'll show you how that works. Being gluten free makes you dumb. Gluten is brain food. Okay, so you have no idea what the movie is right now. So your only choice, Willie,

I assume, is negative three. No, name that movie. Alright, so, you get one name, and your one name,

I wouldn't find this name helpful if I were you. Is it Tyler Perry? No, it's Adriana Barraza is your one name. But what do you think

the movie's called, Michelle? Marley and Me? Marley and Me. Marley and Me is a good guess because it has me in the title. Right. But it is not. Me, myself, and Irene? No, we're guessing.

No, the rest of the names are David Pamer, D. Leprow, Lorna Raver, Justin Long, and Alison Lohman. That's the actress who gives a good performance. And the movie's called Drag Me to Hell. Yeah, yes. Which is also what I called Sex and the City 2. Thank you for playing, Michelle. Michelle!

Thank you so much. Alright, Graham, let's get another competitor up here. Is it going to be the Geico Lizard with Kyle? It's going to be three martial arts DVDs. Three martial arts DVDs. So close, brother, so close. I will titty-fuck that lizard after the show, if that makes you feel better. Oh, that's a wonderful consolation prize.

Nice. Look at that. I wonderful consolation prize. Nice. Look at that. I'm sorry, dude. Yeah, yeah. Which one? Put your name on your... Somewhere so I can see it. Because I forgot already, even though we talked earlier.

Danny. Danny. All right. Danny Joss, right? Yeah. Short for Joseph. Yeah. All right.

And Graham gets all of those movies, all of those martial arts movies. Sweet, dude. Oh, Hero? This fucking movie is so good they're all bootlegs they're all bootlegs so good luck getting those through customs

we don't have to go through customs do we thanks dude I do not support bootleg movies that's how you get out of Florida you go through customs I'm going to put these on a mantle oh yeah put them on a mantle. Oh, yeah. So don't forget. Put them on the fake fireplace mantle.

Oh, that's not going to... They're going to fall off of there. I can't wait. All right, Danny. Take Graham down, please. If you must. You get to pick between the following three categories. The King of Pancakes category, which is the number one movie at the box office 10 years ago to this very day.

Or... What does Pancakes have to do with it? Or... That's the guy who created the category. category, which is the number one movie at the box office ten years ago to this very date, or or that's the guy who created the category, or In Theaters Now, that's motion pictures that are in theaters now, or In Theaters Hey Now, and that's the films of Jeffrey Tambor or

Gary Shanley. Hey Now. Gary Shanley or Jeffrey Tambor. This is the thing. Which one of those would you like, Danny? In theaters now. In theaters now. Danny, in theaters now, very focused.

Cagey, focused selection. Well done. This movie that's in theaters now? Danny, do you possess the ability to smile? Okay, all right, that's perfect. According to Leonard's review, it's 98 minutes long. And he also says about this movie that it is fun to watch. And that...

And that it's a tribute to a loving marriage and partnership yeah it's in theaters now if you know it don't say it and he lists that's the director of the movie over there in the corner and there are listed nine names nine names how Nine names.

How many names did you get in, Danny? Everyone's talking in the audience. Seven. Either figuring out their bills or saying the names. Seven, you say seven. Danny says seven. I will say five. Graham's going for five.

Let's call on the difference. Four. You're going to Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four.

Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four.

Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Four. Three. Someone in the audience is having an attack. So right. Losing their shit over there. You said three, Graham?

Yeah, I said three. Oh, okay. Right in your face. Name that movie. God damn it, I thought you'd go two. Okay, here's your three names, Graham. The first one is just the letter M. And I don't think that's a Judi Dench.

I think it's just, it's either a typo or just the letter M. And then your next name is James Darcy. And your third and final name out of nine names is Michael Stuhlbarg. Oh, Mikey Stills? Of course, from Men in Black 3 and that Coen Brothers movie. Read me the clues again, please.

Simple man. The clues are that I forgot what they were. It's fun. 98 minutes, fun, and shows a partnership. A loving marriage and partnership. It's a tribute to a loving marriage

and partnership. And someone is really, really losing their shit over there. Woo! Woo! Woo! I prefer that noise during the joke part of the show. Or after. Or after.

Oh, I'm not creepy. Oh, after. Oh, it would be good to hear that. Yeah, I love a breathing disorder when I'm fucking somebody. Shut up, they're gonna hear us in the next room. Woo! I'm so excited Danny's gonna win. Because you don't know it. It's the sessions.

Stall tactic. No, it's Hitchcock! That's right, Danny's Hitchcock! That's right. Danny's our winner, everybody. Danny! There you go, boss. Thanks, Danny. I was gonna say Hitchcock.

You were gonna? I was. That was in my mind. What made you change it up? Because of that movie, The Sessions, where the sex therapist is in a loving relationship with her patient? Yeah, she whacks that boner off. They get married in that movie?

Sure. Because he's all like... All right, enough spoilers. Graham Elwood, everybody. Thank you. And I just want to say real quick, we'll meet out in the lobby and say hi and stuff, but I do really appreciate you guys coming out. It was a tough sell here in Miami, especially around the holidays.

And the fact that you guys are here really made my holiday season. And I will think of you always. Especially Michelle and her gluten-free lifestyle. especially Michelle and her gluten free lifestyle and is the person that was having that horrible noise attack okay? alright did you know the answer? is that why you were doing that?

no? no it's just an attack? sorry thanks a lot you guys good night Sorry. Thanks a lot, you guys. Good night.