Doug Loves Movies - Riki Lindhome, Kate Micucci, Paul Scheer, Geoff Tate and auction winner Alan Home guest

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

Live from the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes Riki Lindhome, Kate Micucci, Paul Scheer, Geoff Tate and auction winner Alan Home to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Marvel just released Wolverine The Long Night, their first ever scripted podcast, for free. It starts when a fishing boat is found drifting off the coast of Alaska. Two special agents arrive to find out what killed the crew. Their first suspect is a mysterious drifter named Logan. Starring Richard Armitage as Wolverine with Scott Adsit and Chris Gethard. Listen to Wolverine The Long Night for free in apps like Apple Podcasts,

Stitcher, or Spotify. Or visit wolverinepodcast.com for more info. Doug hates candy wrappers, sweetie babies, sticky seats with 50 azimuth orels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see

Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles, California. Yeah! Wow, you really don't like that one. I like all of my guests tonight but I mean they're going to have to work that out

because those chairs are all too tightly together but yeah we have five guest chairs on this stage tonight and that doesn't necessarily mean it's gonna be great just means it's gonna be five people it's tuesday the 11th of september and i don't want to see your name tags. Yeah. There's no time for that. Yeah. As you can see, we've got five guest chairs tonight.

So I wanted to get right to it. So I'll just say Doug Loves Movies is coming to San Jose at the Improv this Saturday, September 15th at 420. And for all my other dates, deets, and links, go to DougLovesMovies.com. Yeah! DougLovesMovies.com! Yeah! Woo!

I heard a cat meow in there. Alright, here's what I brought for the prize bag tonight. I'm pretty excited about my contribution to the thing. Because first of all, from Terp House, a hat that on the underbill, is that what you call it? The undercarriage of the hat? It says, got Terps. Yeah, clearly that guy does. That's the Terps guy over there.

And then a Douglas Movies T-shirt and some various different kinds of rolling papers and a Douglas Movies sticker and then this reusable bottle. Yeah. Yeah, I got it somewhere. Iamthatweb.org. So there's a plug for that.

There's a plug for that thing that I don't know anything about. And also, all five of my guests, I think, brought stuff for the prize bag. So let's go ahead and get them out here. Please give a nice, warm Los Angeles welcome to Alan Holm, Ricky Lindholm, Kate Micucci, Paul Scheer, and Jeff Tate. Thank you. Hi, Kate.

Hi, guys. Where's Kate? There she is. Where's Kate? There she is. She was in a shoebox. What's up? Hey.

Hey, you guys. Hi. Oh, my goodness. I know the whole audience is saying to themselves, who is this Alan guy? So let's get right to meeting him first as we meet all of my guests individually as we always do.

But let's give it up, everybody, for Alan Holm! Oh, he stood up and everything. Auction winner from the most recent Pardcastathon. Our friend Jimmy Pardo likes to do the Pardcastathon, raise lots of money for Smile Train. And I've got the number. Do you know the number that you spent?

Yeah. To be here, Ellen? you know the number that you spent? Yeah. To be here, Ellen? Yes. How much did you spend? I am not disclosing that, because I have people I know who might actually listen to this and be like,

what are you doing? You could have given it to me. What? Hold on. Let me ask a question. Is it under a million dollars? Yeah, yeah. All right, wow.

Is it over 5,000? It is slightly under a million and but I'd like to really quickly play a game of how much did Alan home spend to be here I will start the bidding with you Jeff how much do you think that he spent to be here I want to know how his friends sound terrible you donated to charity? What are you doing? You could have given that to me. Yeah, I've never asked a friend for money because you know they're rich.

Maybe we should start doing that. Just find your rich friend and be like, give me some money. You don't do that? Yeah, you know Seth Rogen. Ask him for some cash. So Jeff, how much do you think Alan spent? Real quick.

$69. $69 what? I don't know. $100? Okay, $6,900. Ricky? I'm going to say $2,700 for absolutely no reason. That's a good bid. Paul? I was going to say $16.

$16? Yeah, $1,600. Oh16? Yeah, $1600. Oh, $1600. Okay. And Kate? Is this like the price is right? If I just say $1, could I still possibly win? That's a very smart bid at this point, I think.

I mean, I shouldn't have said very smart because I know that it's not going to be the winning bid. But he kept us guessing. It's on our toes. Now we don't know. Right. But he kept us guessing. It's on our toes. Now we don't know.

Right. I think Ricky came the closest, but by only about half. I'm sorry to break the news, Alan, to all your friends that are going to judge you for it, but this gentleman spent $4,975. Oh! Wow.

I have a job that crushes my soul every day, so I figure, like, well, you know, might as well do something with it, so here I am. Dude, dude. Here he is. Dude, you could have given it to me. Well, how do you feel you're going to fare in the games tonight, Alan?

Oh, God, no. I'm going to fare in the games tonight, Alan? Oh, God, no. I'm going to lose. Lose bad. Yeah, because I figure if I wanted to win, I would have asked Tig Notaro and Graham Elwood to be here. Graham, everything is Leaf Garrett and a talking squirrel. I mean, if I wanted to win, I would have had him. But you guys, I mean, these are the all-stars of Doug Love's movies and these games.

I wanted to play with the best that ever been. I didn't care about winning. Wow. The pressure is on. All right. Thank you for coming by, Alan. I love Alan so much. I'm just so happy right now.

We have different opinions of Alan, apparently. Is this your first $4,000 podcast? I mean, the people do really step up and spend the money to be here and I appreciate Alan doing that. But is there any truth to the rumor that Jimmy Pardo just pockets all that money? I've heard that.

I've heard that he just takes all that money. There's nothing called Smile Train. It does sound fake, Smile Train. He does. It's what he calls his bank account. He's nothing called Smile Train. He just... It does sound fake, Smile Train. He does. It's just him walking around his house. Boo, boo, boo. Got more money from a bunch of comedy suckers. Smile Train money.

Look how much I'm smiling. I got all your money. He's like, I put them on someone else's show, not my show. They win a spot on someone else's show. Alan, where do you live and what do you do for a living? I live just outside of San Francisco. I work in San Francisco doing tech support for a big deal medical company trying to cure cancer.

Whoa. Wow. Well, yeah, so you better be good with the tech support because they're not going to cure cancer without the internet. Is the company Pixar? Is it Facebook? They're curing laughter to smiles. They're spending all day Googling what's cancer.

How do you beat cancer? Yeah, has anybody Googled it yet? That's probably... Just ask Siri or fucking alexa here's a question that i always am fascinated by alan you work in tech support what are the dumbest questions you get maybe the top two and what would you tell people when they deal with someone like you to not piss you off well i'm not dealing with like a janitor i'm dealing with like doctors and stuff sure right but they're still idiots right yeah i mean when it comes to the computer they're gonna be before they called you it's all about data and so it's just like hey dude you remember i told

you i wanted like month day year and you gave me year date month yes don't do that oh okay six months later same thing same thing same thing so you basically are creating excel spreadsheets like it seems like that seems like that seems like a very like a like if I'm calling tech support on an excel spreadsheet is that really what you're doing oh yeah yeah yeah

it crushes my soul every day it's a nightmare of an existence. How do I make this gif move? It's a picture, but I need it to be a gif. And you wonder why we haven't cured cancer yet. Because we're still using Excel spreadsheets. They're still listening to Clippy that pops in on the bottom of Microsoft. What's up?

Ding, ding, ding. Hey, it looks like you're trying to cure cancer. Maybe I can help. Oh, what's up? Ding, ding, ding. Hey, it looks like you're trying to cure cancer. Maybe I can help. No, you can't. Doug, do you regret this yet? What do you have against janitors? They're always asking for his money, man.

Janitors are... They're not doing tech support for janitors, you guys. My mop crashed. How do I reboot my mop? Boy, janitors really taking it on the chin tonight Well, the rest of our guests are all here tonight Basically because Alan requested them

And they're the ones that said yes Some of these requests, Alan, were ridiculous I wrote them down You asked me to get Obama And then in parentheses, any Obama. What does that even mean? You could get Sasha or Malia. Yeah, Michelle.

I'd listen to Michelle. He has a long family. I mean, if you could get the dog, that'd be pretty cool. They had a cool looking dog. Portuguese water dog. I read the whole story about it. Hyperallergenic. Do you remember its name? You remember all that about it, but you don't know its name? Its allergenic. Hyper allergenic. Do you remember its name?

You remember all that about it, but you don't know its name? Its name was dog. It's Bo the dog. Bo? Yeah, Bo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you think that Biden was pissed off that they named their dog after his son? Oh, wow.

Well, not at first. Probably eventually. Yeah. Yikes. It's a weird thing. We got a brand new dog. We're going to name it after your son. They're the same.

I think they named him after one of the Duke brothers. Obama is just a big Duke of Sazer fan. The movie, not the TV show. No, no, David Duke, the Ku Klux Klan guy. Let's meet everybody that's up here, starting with one half of Garfunkel and Oates Yeah, they're both looking like Which one are you gonna say?

Unclear We're both ready Kate McGoochie is here, everybody Hey, everybody So nice to have you Thanks, I made this hat for tonight But it's really just a prize. I just started reading it.

You know what Doug loves? Movies. On a hat. I just, I took a big marker and I wrote it on a hat. You wrote it on there. You've got good penmanship. I like to buy things that I can write on and I have a bunch of hats at my house and, you know, you can just come over and tell me a phrase and I'll write it on a hat.

So that address is? Where are they going? Alan? 555-5555-5555. Oh, okay. That address. That just sounds like a hat store. You can go to my store and do it. I like that I'm plugging my hats

at my house. You still haven't made me one. Yeah, but wait. I said you could pick a phrase, but did you figure out what phrase it was? I did, and I told you, and then I forgot. I forgot it, too. Remember I told you something,

and it was funny, and now I forgot. Oh, no. This is basically what our phone conversations are like. This business plan is terrible. I think job one is remember the phrase. Job two, put it on a hat. It was something about writing. Yeah. Write it on a hat. What if your two, put it on a hat. It was something about writing. Yeah.

Write it on a hat. What if your phrase was write it on a hat? Can I get you to write write it on a hat onto a hat? I'm going to make you a hat that says write it on a hat. I wish I had another hat. Don't tell me about it. Write it on a hat. The word hat has never been said so much.

In one podcast, it wasn't about hats. It's lost its meaning. The other half of Garfunkel and Oates is here. It's Ricky Lindholm, everybody. What's up? Hi, Doug. Hello. How's it going?

It's going great. I brought no hats. We share everything. So really, you brought half a hat. Yeah. Oh, Doug. Hello. How's it going? It's going great. I brought no hats. We share everything, so really, you brought half a hat. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's a nice way to look at it. Who else is here? Oh.

I've got one half of the comedy team sheer and thick. It's Paul Shearer. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Doug. Very excited to be back on Doug Loves Movies. And you know, I'm so sorry that my partner,

Thick, could not be here tonight. Yeah, that's a shame that he passed away. It's Robin Thick. Oh, oh. Yeah, no, he took over after Alan passed away.

Oh, Alan was your partner for a while. No, Alan Thick, Alan. All right. You don't own the Alan. Where did Alan go? He's making himself at home. Because that's his last name.

Where did Alan go? I don't know. It's really like he just got up and went to the fridge or something. I was on this show like 15 times before I felt comfortable going to the bathroom. I've never felt comfortable going. Oh, he went to get some donuts. Thanks, Alan. There you go. Do you think

if you're going to wear your pajamas, you just think it was a dream? That's the best thing I've ever said That's like I want that on a hat Jeff is going to laugh about this Until somebody in the audience does I don't even know

I don't even know what he said. But that's Jeff Tate, everybody. Jeff Tate. Hello. Hello, everybody. When you heard that you were on Alan's wish list and that he spent that kind of money to help the kids, you said, I'm going to be there too.

And you made it out here to California specifically just to be here for this. Yes, I did do that. Yeah, so Jeff Tate, everybody. If we don't count Doug, he basically spent $1,000 on each one of us. Wow. Yeah, that's a heavy burden for us to carry, man.

Why would you give us so much weight? We just want to come here and have a fun time. Now we have to give you a thousand dollar performance. Come on. I knew this was going to end badly somehow. I just thought it would be my friends, not strangers. What? What?

These are your new strange friends. We have to be friends with him now? Oh yeah, that's part of the deal. He's sleeping over at my house tonight, right? That was part of it. Jimmy Parchment! He's got a crash. Listen, next year I'm going to auction off being my friend on the podcast.

Just bid on it. Whoever wins is my friend for life or just for a limited time well until the next podcast you give it a year and then see what happens after that I mean if it's natural but if I'm forcing it

then no we're starting over alright well I do agree with Alan. I think he mentioned earlier that he wanted the best competitors, and these are some of the toughest ones. Next to the Obamas. That episode was great. I think it was Michelle and Malia who were on

and they did the they they lasted that whole movie game like the the build of one word at a time movie they were so good Michelle was fire fire fire I know I didn't know Michelle was smart till then right she had started

her everyone should eat vegetables thing and I was like no I don't I don't care should eat vegetables thing and I was like, no, I don't, I don't care for her. But then when she was able to, she fucking knew all those answers. Again, if you are listening next podcast,

podcast-a-thon, you could bid on being a friend for a year with Jeff. This is what you'll get, a little sampling of it. Wait, can the person

get out of it? Do they have to, do they have to be a friend of yours for the whole year? Yeah, it. Wait, can the person get out of it? Do they have to be a friend of yours for the whole year? Yeah, yeah. You can't get out of it either. Even if you're forcing it. I'm talking to the winner.

Alright. Jeff, what do you got for the prize bag tonight, my friend? Where did I put it? Right here. I brought a copy of my album, and my newest one, and another one I brought where I put it right here I brought a copy of my album and my newest one and another one I brought for this guy right right so now it's like you spent $10 less on me a little less pressure and then I brought a copy of safe men on DVD Jeff tell us the name of your album, though, too.

It's called People Are What People Make Them. I love it. Thank you. Here, we'll pass them down. Put it in the bag. All right, what do you got for us, Alan? So I used to buy a lot of DVD combos where they have a really good movie

and they bundle it with a not so good movie to try to move the inventory. So I'm keeping the good movie and passing the other one on to you. So while I'll be enjoying Shaun of the Dead, you will be watching Slither. Oh, wow. James Gunslam.

He didn't need it. He's already down. Don't knock him out. Why do you have to do that to our buddy James Gunslam? And while I'll be enjoying Shaun of the Dead, you will be holding in your hand Theodore Rex. Wait, so you have two copies of Shaun of the Dead? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

Robocop. Oh, okay. We did this on How Did This Get Made, and I have to tell you, I think that this is better than Robocop Whoopi Goldberg was forced by a lawsuit into doing that movie that's a true statement

when she said how old is this movie I thought you were going to say Whoopi Goldberg was four into making this. All right. Is that it? That's it. Oh, okay.

And $5,000. Whoa! What if Alan also had, like, a CD of his comedy album and, like, a couple movies he was in? His mixtape. Yeah.

I look forward to hearing his plugs at the end. No you do not. Ricky, what do you got? So I have a onesie. We have a song called Pregnant Women Are Smug. So it says my mommy is smug. So there's that. And then a CD that Kate and I signed called All Over Your Face. And a neon orange Garfunkel and Oates toothbrush. Whoa, that's awesome.

Yeah. We got lots of merch. All right. I brought a weed candy bar that someone gave me. It's a blackberry dark chocolate candy bar. And I agreed to myself that I have two children and I will not be partaking in this anytime soon. So there you go.

That's a weed candy bar. I have an Xbox One game called South Park the Fractured Hole. It's the Steelbook Gold Edition. It's a fun RPG game. So there's that. And then my friend Elon wrote this book called you're not that great and it is a really good like uh like an anti-self-help book uh which allows you to hate yourself with uh without really trying and uh and that's like a tiny bible yeah and then i'll give

you alan one of these things but i also brought like some i'll give you this i'll give you, Alan, one of these things. But I also brought some... I'll give you this. I'll give you my NTSF swag. Here, you get that. And I'll put in a signed baseball card that someone made at Topps. So there you go. That's what I got in my bag. Nice. All right, Kate.

This hat that I... It's down to you and the hat. You know what? Doug loves movies. Hat. I love that I... It's down to you and the hat. You know what? Doug loves movies, hat. I love that hat. Can't wait. Whoever wins tonight, please take a picture of yourself

wearing this amazing hat. And then I made a little drawing with all of the people on the show tonight, but it just says, you are a real winner, so congrats. And then it's everybody, but nobody looks like anybody for real. And to be fair, though,

you did this drawing almost like four minutes before you walked on stage. I think you and I look like you and I. But you're good at drawing us a lot. Yeah, you've drawn us a lot of times. Like everyone knows that's Kate. I have a little bit more side bald hair so I look a little bit like Danny DeVito.

I'm stouter. I'm stouter than normal in that. It's a little bit of a homeless pulse here. Shit did not go right. Jeff really looks like athletic because of the headband. Jeff looked like a tennis star out there.

No, this is great and I'd say suitable for framing but it is a frame. It's already good to go. Yeah, you're good to go. It's suitable for a nail. You sign it on the back. Amazing. It's a good gift bag.

Great job. Great gift bag, everybody. I kind of feel bad that Alan doesn't get the gift bag. Yeah. That's true. Should we just give it to Alan? No, no, no. No, let's see how he does.

I say we give it to him and go home. I got some weed that's not going to smoke itself and a chocolate candy bar that Paul won't touch because he's got children. No, it's in the bag. I didn't keep it, I promise. Can I keep it? And then a bunch of donuts made it to the stage.

You brought these, Alan? I did. Okay. So you can eat them, you can throw them, you can do whatever you want. Don't throw them. Uh-oh. I do not want a donut thrown at me.

No, we're going to throw them at the audience. That's what happens on the show. I feel like you guys don't want donuts thrown at you, right? Oh, maybe they do. Someone's nodding. Let's do this the polite way. Raise your hand if you want a donut thrown at you as hard as I can. It doesn't make sense, but people are saying yes.

That's a good throw. That was as polite as you can. No, that was as hard as Doug can throw. And for those of you listening to the podcast, just know Doug is wearing sanitary gloves, so these donuts are not being just touched barehanded. Right? I'm not allowed to throw donuts anymore

because I'm an athlete. Hey, listen, Paul. I washed my hands the last time I peed. Yeah, because I'm not going to touch myself before washing my hands. What? He's halfway through his donut. By the way, pee is the cleanest thing you could

possibly have on your hands. Oh, great. You're one of those guys. That's one of my favorite lines from Waterworld. And the fucking Trump piss tape, right? Don't worry about it, ladies. It's the nicest... The bidding is still open, people.

We'll cut this part out, okay? Thank you. Ryan. You can't point to the booth and say, cut this part out. Yeah, you can. That's not how this works. That's where the guy is who could do it. Yeah, he could.

But then we just make reference to it all night long. We'd be like, remember when you said that thing about the piss tape? I already don't. What are you talking about, Paul? How'd you get so good at an impression of me? We got lots of donuts. We got an amazing prize bag. And we've got people in the audience that made name tags.

So this is the part of the show where I say, let the games begin. So this is a part of the show where I say, let the games begin. Ladies and gentlemen, pick your name tags. While you do that, we'll do this. We'll go to this brief commercial message about an energy drink or something. We'll be right back. Today's show is brought to you in part by Espresso Monster. When you need an extra burst of energy but don't have time to wait in line,

grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of smooth espresso and cream packaged in an 8.4-ounce can. It's just the right size and perfect for when you're on the go. Each can has three shots of espresso blend of the European milk just the way the Italians do it. At 150 to 160 milligrams of caffeine per can, it's sure to give you the energy you need to conquer the day. Espresso Monster has two delicious flavors to choose from, espresso and cream, and vanilla espresso. I know that sounded like three flavors, but that's two. Produced in Denmark and the Netherlands, Espresso Monster is made with freshly brewed espresso coffee, hormone-free milk,

and a unique energy blend that's complete with taurine and B vitamins. They sent a few cases to DLM HQ, but they did not stick around for very long. Everyone seems to enjoy the taste and the subsequent energy boost. Close your eyes, take a sip, and enjoy Espresso Monster today. Back to the show. All right, we're back. That was very civilized.

Yeah, who's hungry for a donut after that? I'm going to throw it really hard. Doug, I'm very happy. I always go with the biggest thing that I can find in the audience, and this is the first cardboard standee. It's Mike Myers as Austin Powers, but in the size of mini-me, which is odd, right? Because it is Mike Myers, but it is the size of Mini-Me.

No, no, no. That's Mini-Me. That's Mini-Me dressed like Mike Myers. Oh, that's Mini-Me dressed like Mike Myers. That's Mini-Me in the size of Mini-Me. That's how good the makeup was in these movies, people. Let's get back to practical effects, okay? Wow. It was the same guy

who did Alien. I am playing this. This is playing for Mark. It is a Austin Powers in Mark's member. And it's got you as Austin Powers there and then no other

facial replacement. Beyonce was in that? Wow. Yeah. She would not have done that now. Let me see this thing. Oh, behave, Doug.

My wife. Right? That's in there. Swing. That's not a gold member. This is a gold member, right? Crikey. Dude, where's my car?

The gold member guy saved his toenail clippings. Wasn't that funny? Kate, what do you have for the... Who'd you pick? Playing for Mike. I love you, Mike. It's really basic. You took I love you, man Blu-ray

and put Mike on there like on a post-it. So go Mike. Should I put that over here? Thank you, Mike. Yeah, I love that idea. Who are you playing for, Ricky? I'm playing for Chelsea and Dan's

American Wedding. It's a pretty basic, well, it's not that basic. They did Photoshop themselves into the poster. I couldn't do that. But they also included But truth be told,

no one knows what the American Wedding poster looks like. They could have been in it. We don't know. I couldn't do that. But they also included... But truth be told, no one knows what the American Wedding poster looks like. They could have been in it. We don't know. I honestly don't know who they're replacing. Oh, Jason Biggs probably, right? I don't know. In American Wedding, one of them got married to the pie? I don't know. Yeah, when you

fuck a pie and they get pregnant, you have to get married to it. Are you not a Christian? They had to get married. They gave me Tito's, orange juice, glasses, and this stuff, whatever it is, Schweppes. What drink is that? Tito's and soda. Oh, Tito's and soda.

You can make a Tito's and soda or a Tito's, yeah, you can make a screwdriver. Well, I'm very excited about this later. You could just have some club soda, just straight up. There's infinite possibilities. But I i'm excited they have a cute wedding picture they do are you guys getting married or you already married wow congratulations i don't i haven't renewed my vows because i don't like standing in line at the DMV. Alan, what do you got?

I have the underrated, my criteria for picking is, I feel this movie is underrated, and I'm playing for Beth to Smoochie. When was the last time you saw that movie? I don't know, ten years ago? Okay. Then I'm not going to argue with you. You're probably right. Jeff? I'm so mad about this.

You're mad? Yeah. They were sitting right under those lights, like just where I couldn't see, and I didn't know that I couldn't see. I thought this was for that movie Hard Rain with Christian Slater, but it isn't. Oh, good movie.

No, it's not that. It's our lips are Celia. I guess it's Celia. Possibly an Olsen twins movie. Yeah. But both those faces look photoshopped onto it. No, Ashley's

real. That's Ashley Olsen. But look at the like that. Her face looks photoshopped. No, that's how she looks in real

life. She always looks photoshopped. Is that the actual poster for Our Lips Are Sealed? Because that's a

that's a bad poster. It's a great photoshop, but whatever image that is, it's pretty rough. Looks like Saved by the Bell. That's a bad poster. Looks like a trap. It's a great Photoshop, but whatever image that is, it's pretty rough. Looks like Saved by the Bell. That's like they just gave up.

They're like, nah, fuck it. I don't care. Another Mary-Kate and Ashley Ellison bullshit. Jeff, do you want to get a new name tag? Very much so, yeah. What? That's so mean. Can you do that?

I was fucking, yeah. that feels mean to me I don't know unnecessarily cruel to someone who did photoshop their face where's Celia where you at oh there you are you want this donut as a consolation no I'll just play for her I'll just play for her I've learned my lesson

that's the type of friend he will be to you for a full year. May not like your poster but he's going to stand by your side. That's a good friend. Yeah. I'm proud of you Jeff.

Jeff looks like he's going to be sick. I mean doing what's right isn't always easy. I gotta dig deep. Stop laughing or crying or whatever it is you're doing. We got some games to play, and they were games chosen by our auction winner, Alan.

Yeah, so he's rigging it on his on his for himself and so the first game we're gonna play Alan is one you asked for called how long is it oh wait Alan are you enjoying your experience so far oh it's great Paul things of everything five thousand dollars. How does this rank? Did you ever have to buy a first class ticket at the last minute? Was that better or worse than this? Alan, do you have friends that listen to the

podcast that you've not told? No. Oh, alright, there you go. No, I have no friends. It's fine. Oh. Alan, we're painting a sad picture right now. now Alright bring it back I don't know how to play this game Doug

You're gonna have like 20 friends when these kids With their faces got fixed when they grow up Ellen they're gonna be Knocking at your door Give us some money We want more money We need some other work done Now I gotta get grills

Grill train Got a perfect smile Gotta get a perfect grill Alright so How long is it? I'm gonna have Alan go first And how long is it? And then we'll go to Ricky

And then Paul and Kate and Jeff Does this also work how long is it? Just guess the run. And then we'll go to Ricky and then Paul and Kate and Jeff. Does this also work like Price is Right? Yeah. Okay. We're just guessing how long it is?

I'm going to name a thing. You guys have to guess how long it is. Okay. It's a thing? You'll see. Okay. Yeah.

Whoever gets close to the dot going over wins Price is Right style. How long was the amount of time between the release of Tom Hanks' first movie, He Knows You're Alone, and the release of his second feature film, Bachelor Party? One year.

That's Alan's bid Is one year I'm writing down one Y R Ricky Two weeks Two weeks I'm writing down two

W E A K Well that answers my question Can we bid weeks Paul Shearer W-E-A-K. Well, that answers my question. Can we bid weeks? Paul Shearer. I am going to say six months. Six M-O-S. Kate, what do you think?

Six years. Bold choice. No, maybe he had a lucky break when he was in college. Who knows, you know? You never know. Yeah, that's true. Jeff, how long is it? 150 weeks. That's like three years.

A little under three years. Yeah, that's my guess. A little under three years. That's your guess. A little under three years. Give or take. Two years, ten months, right? Yeah, maybe.

A-L-U-3-Y-R-S. Okay. Nine semesters. So we got anywhere from six years to two weeks between Tom Hanks' first pretty big role in He Knows You're Alone and then his second feature film he starred in. Pretty big role in a movie that I've never heard of. How many people have heard of that movie?

He Knows You're Alone? Yeah. Never heard of it. Never heard of it. Classic. Really? And I'm a Hanks fan. He's got to have seen it twice.

Yeah, and he won by applause because that works on audio. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah. All right, so one person. Okay, this is not a popular movie. And I feel like that person on the left is lying. I thought I read it on Tom Hanks' Wikipedia page. Paul Scheer thinks his career didn't really start until Bachelor Party.

I've said it as many times as I can in print and on TV. People are like, we didn't ask you anything about that. To the listener at home, if you look it up, I bet it's on that Wikipedia page by now. It might be, yeah. Somebody in the room is going to do it. We on How Did This Get Made kept on calling Stellan Skarsgård Stellar Skateboard

because that's what it auto-corrected to on the iPhone, and then it was automatically changed, and now on his Wikipedia page it's permanently locked because every time they would change it back, it would just go back to stellar skateboard. Stellar skateboard. And now I know that

we made a shirt that says stellar skateboard and now I also know that he has it. Stellan Skarsgård has a stellar skateboard shirtarsgård shirt. I can make him a hat. And that's been How Did That Guy Get a Shirt? It's like a sub-podcast. We're really branching out now.

How did Stellan Skarsgård get a shirt? I'll have a podcast where I tell you the providence, if you will, of all the Scarce Guard shirts. Oh my god, Jeff. I wish your laugh could power some electricity in a country that needs it.

He Knows You're Alone came out on August 29th 1980 and then Bachelor Party did not hit theaters until June 29th 1984. Three years, ten months, Jeff Tate wins.

Jeff Tate wins. Three years. Jeff Tate! Jeff Tate! Jeff Tate! Jeff Tate! I love it. Even if it takes a while, cause that's like,

that's my style, right? It's one syllable, but let's not get it right away. Let's bounce around the room a little bit before we lock it in. All right. All that means is Jeff gets to go first in our next game, but it's going to be a big game, and it's going to be the game that determines our winner tonight

because I'm dragging it out of mothballs. a big game and it's going to be the game that determines our winner tonight because I'm dragging it out of mothballs. We're playing the Leonard Maltin game. You're welcome, America! I like this game a lot. I was scared it was going to be that game where you had to remember stuff and I'm bad at that. No, you don't have to know shit

to play the Leonard Maltin game. I played Kevin Bacon movies with that other game, and I couldn't think of any. Do you remember that? Yeah, he hasn't done much. Yeah. I don't know. You just kind of blank out.

I watched. Do you see that Leonard Maltin put Michael Moore on blast this week? I saw that. Yeah, he has a little video on Twitter, and I'd never seen Leonard Maltin be angry before, and it was a pretty intense Malton. It was very Eminem-esque. That's it.

He's calling it out. You're saying he put down a diss track? Yeah. It was like Pusha T right there. But why was he mad? He's mad because he's friends with a place that Michael Moore is suing. You're because he's friends with a place that Michael Moore is suing. You're going to be friends with a place?

Like on Facebook or something? Apparently he won it in the Bardo cast. He won this building. He did $14,000 to be friends with a building. And he's really committing hard. He's like, I've got gotta be friends with it. I gotta defend it. Yeah.

Alright, so. Wow, you're bringing it up. This is again, like, what is this Leonard Maltin book? It's like printed. Yeah, because he doesn't have his app anymore. And somebody like a listener made

this book for me and said, if you need to play the game, you can just use this book. And so that's how I've been doing it. Whenever we play, which is once in a while, because we have to have guests that all understand the rules. And also, it didn't hurt that Alan requested that we play this game. What happened to the app? It just stopped.

I think Michael Moore is suing the app company. He's Michael Moore's friends with a couple apps. You could be friends with an app? Now, nowadays. I work in much time. You could be friends with an app? Now, nowadays. I work in tech support. You wouldn't understand. Whoa.

That's the slogan for tech support. I work in tech support. Fuck you. But really, they just like, you have to leave. Unless you're a janitor, then really go fuck yourself. Double fuck yourself.

What do you need me for? All my stuff doesn't apply to you. You're a janitor. Okay, you want to do this? What if I sent you that book? Oh, no? You're still going? No. I can eventually

get the hint. You get to pick the first category, Jeff, and then we're going to go to Kate and then Paul and Ricky, and hopefully this will get to pick the first category, Jeff, and then we're going to go to Kate and then Paul and Ricky, and hopefully this will get to Alan because it was his idea. I'm not going to tell you what the categories are about. I'm just going to give you the titles, and then you pick one. All right, Jeff?

Okay. Okay. Would you like 30 Days of Night or The 19th Hole or Rock the Vote? Which one of those would you like to play? I want to play Rock the Vote. Oh, that's too bad because 19th Hole is a really fun category. It's movies about golf or human centipedes. about golf or human centipedes but rock the vote is movies about rock or politics or both very excited about this category I feel like I know the answer. Oh, okay. What? I don't know. I just got a psychic vision of it.

I'm not even kidding. I think I did, too. Do you? No, I felt the same way. Did you get that weird? I got a weird, like, I felt like the room whispered the answer to me. I bet we all have the same answer. If we all said it at the same time.

Okay, well, we all have to be honest. You can tell us later. We'll trust you. We'll all be honest and say what we thought it was. This is very exciting. If we all got a be honest you can tell us later we'll trust you we'll all be honest and say what we thought it was this is very exciting we all got a psychic feeling with the answer did you not get one don't make Alan feel bad

don't make him feel bad we just had a thousand dollar psychic vision come to us that's really weird I got one I know the answer too like I had the same I don't know if it's the same movie

but I definitely it just gives tech support. Goes to the other comedian. You're always the last to know. All right, Jim. Leonard Maltin. This movie's from 2012. Nope, I was wrong.

Me, too. I was wrong, too. Who's psychic now? I might be right. I might be right. I might be right. Leonard gives it two and a half stars. He says, this silly movie runs out of steam too soon

and ends with a whimper, not a bang. And then he lists 12 performers, men and women, who appeared in the cast of this movie. How many names do you think you need, Jeff Tate, to discern the title?

Man. I never played this one high. This one's so much harder when you're stoned. That's why I was good at it. I wasn't ever high. Anyway, so 2012, what'd you say? Right now, I feel like I know the poster I'm gonna dwell on names

yeah I think I'm gonna say I'm gonna say four whoa he's going for four that's a pretty low bid there Kate what do you I mean I think I have to say name that movie I think you might have to

yeah okay Jeff I think you might have to, yeah. Okay, Jeff. I think she said it. Yeah. I think it's official. Name that movie. Yeah.

Well, he gets the four names. Sure he does. Okay. Objection. Kate, that was so ominous. Name that movie. Yeah, it was a real baller movie you just had there. I feel like I know.

I know it too, but I see the poster, I just don't know the title. That's what I know. I know I can tell you what the plot is. Alright, well some people are going to know this, including you probably, Paul, when I name these names. So, poker face it. Jack McBrayer

Karen Moriyama Moriyama Yeah that's how you pronounce it right Brian Cox And Dan Aykroyd Is it the campaign? That is correct

Jeff Tate Has one point He's on his way to two points. I got the psychic feeling like it was Bob Roberts. Oh, okay. I got the psychic feeling it was Head of State with Chris Rock. My psychic feeling was Dave. Mine was Black Sheep.

We nailed it. There's Mud Honeys in it, too. Alan, nothing came to mind for you? It's the Zach Galifianakis one. Is that the one that you guessed? Yeah. Okay, I got that one. Yeah.

I just didn't know what it was called. Is that the one you thought of? You know what the one I thought it was when you started to read the description was that Robin Williams one where he's like the Jon Stewart character who then runs for president? Oh, you guys remember that now that one's like what is it called that one like it's weird and dark it was like they're trying to shoot him

all right this next round we're all fighting our way to two points jeff has one and uh we'll start with you paul and then we'll go to Kate. But Paul gets to pick the category between four-letter word or Google Maps or Don't Mess with Mississippi. All right, Doug, because this is Alan's podcast, I'm let him pick the category you would like to play interesting Google Maps Google Maps god damn it Paul I didn't think of that I'm upset you didn't pick don't mess with Mississippi because I like that one because it's movies that take place in Texas all right Google Maps is movies that take place on multiple continents yeah hmm yeah and uh yeah paul you get to uh make the first bit three stars from leonard for this

movie from 2012 that he refers to as a German production. That's the same year the campaign came out, right? Yes, it is. I like that movie. It started off interesting premise, kind of whimpered at the end. Leonard

said that this movie was flawed but wildly ambitious and a unique and challenging movie experience and then he lists 13 names all right i will start the bidding at five names name that movie wait no it goes the other way now. Wait, it does? Oh. I know. You were so excited.

Kate, are you as equally excited? Name that movie. Okay. She's got my back. She's going for it. All right. All right. Here's your five names. David Gias.

G-Y-A-S. Okay. Zhao Jun Uh huh James Darcy Got it Keith David Okay And Ben Whishaw

Hmm Who I dare say Is the voice Of Paddington There's also Q In the James Bond movies Right? Hmm The Keith David Is the one that could kind of pull this whole thing together.

Man. All right. 2012. Traveling around the world. Man. Why did I? I thought five was going to get a good thing going. Not getting there, whips.

Yeah, I know. All right. I will take a big guess and say it is Jumper. I like a big guess. And I also like a movie where Tom Hanks plays multiple roles, as does Halle Berry. Cloud Atlas. Cloud fucking Atlas is the answer.

So Kate gets the point on that one. Yay. Yay. Yay. All right, Jeff. Chumper was a good guess, though. Hayden Christensen. That was pretty good. That was a good guess, though. Christian, Hayden Christensen. That was pretty good.

Yeah, that was something. That was a terrific guess. Really proud. Really happy about that guess. My guesses have been solid. My answers are terrible. You know it's an exciting matchup because we've only had two walkouts.

One of them was Alan early on. They might be going to the bathroom. He had to go get the donuts. All right, Jeff, it's back on you, man. You get to pick, and then it's going to come right back at Kate. So between Kate and Jeff, they could finish this thing right now if they wanted to. Jeff's very excited about it. $5,000 that he can't even fucking make a move

yeah I mean that's what you get charity gets you nowhere man what are you doing you could have gave that to me if you'd have

gave me 5,000 dollars I would have gave Doug enough to have you on Doug you got you have to you have to let Alan get a chance

to play. I mean, the guy, he hasn't even played. That's a good point. I know, I feel like we should adjust the rules just once. Yeah, have them switch seats. Oh, well then this game isn't canon. You can't put this on the Doug Loves Movies

Wikipedia page. It's gonna have an asterisk if I lose. You have to be able to say a's going to have an asterisk if I lose. I feel like Alan has to be able to play. You have to be able to say asterisk to get an asterisk. Asterisk. My favorite French cartoon. Okay, so we'll start with Alan, and then we'll go to Jeff, and then to Kate. So those three powerful players will still be going head-to-head-to-head,

and Alan gets to pick the category. Are you alright with this, Alan? Sounds great. Just wanted to double check with you in case you wanted to play fair. Wow. No. No, he did not.

Alright. Would you like the category called Giant Broken Arm? What is it called? Or would you like a category called Did I Tell You Not to Mess with Mississippi? What? It's more movies to take place in Texas. Did I Tell You Not to mess with Mrs. Hippie

Mrs. Hippie? or Mrs. Hippie don't mess with Mrs. Hippie her name sounds like she's docile but she isn't by the way that is a great movie I feel like you can put Kathy Bates in it

don't mess with Mrs. Hippie wait wait Here's how it is. She got married and took her husband's name. She's real uptight. It's like a hyphenated Mrs. Hippie Dash uptight. How do they get along? Come on. This is

Hollywood. It's probably already in production. Giant Broken Arm, Doug. Or the third category, Great Scots. in production. Giant Broken Arm, Doug. Or the third category, Great Scots. Nope, still Giant Broken Arm. Okay, Giant Broken Arm. These are movies that have a large cast. 2005 is when this came out. Three and a half stars

for Leonard for this movie that has a large cast. He says that this movie is provocative and powerful and it has performances. Oh, powerful performances. That's enough.

17 names. What year is it again 2005 it was about like seven years before the campaign came out i think right before cloud atlas right about 7 000 weeks after that Tom Hanks movie. I'll go 10 names. He's saying 10 names, Jeff. What are you going to do with that? I'm going to say name it. You want to play the game? Play the fucking game.

Name it. Oh! All comes down to this. Unless you get it, then it doesn't at all. Yeah, then we keep going if you get this. If you can do this, Alan. Yeah, okay. Yeah, because Ricky wants a chance to play.

Yeah, Alan. Ricky spent $4,000 to beat me. I had to fly Spirit. Right? So I didn't spend that much in money. But, I mean, it took a couple years

off my... Jeff, would you like a donut? Not during the show, man. I'm too... Like, I'm already pretty thirsty. Professional.

Do you want to set aside one that you want? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Take, take, take, take, take, take, take. Okay, take it out of there. I'm not going to touch it now. I don't want to. I'm doing it.

I'm in the middle of something. Doug, he's in the middle of something. Just finish your show and he'll get back to you and he's done. We're all here engaging in this fella's dream. Now all I want to do is just throw your donut that you picked into

the crowd. There are two of those donuts, so just throw one of them and won't that kind of satisfy your craving? To whatever ruined my donut? I want both those donuts, Doug, so if you throw one, I'll still be sad. Again, Doug has put on the

sanitary gloves and is tossing to the crowd. Nice. Good catch, sir. Your ten names. Oh, right. This is weird. Your ten names. This is weird. Keith David. What? What?

Beverly Todd. Sean Taub. Michael Pena. Pena. Loretta Devine. Nona Gay. Lorenz Tate. William Fichtner.

Terrence Howard. Chris Ludacris Bridges. Alan, the name of the film. You know this, Alan. It's an easy one. From 2002. Come on, man. Three and a half stars. 2002? I have You know this, Alan. It's an easy one. From 2002. Come on, man. Three and a half stars. 2002?

I'm five. Sorry, five. 2005. From 2025. Yeah. The three of us all know it. We all know it. 2005. Oh, everyone knows it but you. Three and a half. Hey, hey, hey, slow down. I don't know it. Oh, everyone knows it.

2005. Maybe we can psych't know it. 2005. Maybe we can psychically put it. We are feeling psychic tonight, so we're putting it your way. This is like downloading. I'm imprinting on you right now. It may have been written in the vicinity. I bet it was. It might have been written on this street.

You've dealt with this in your regular job. Like every day somebody will call. Do you feel what we're sending to you? No. You can't pick up what we're putting down. We are putting it down. It could have happened at your job. We're not in some sort of David Cronenberg situation here.

I thought you were about to sing a song. You come. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, Lord. You guys, we don't pay CSAC here,

so we can't do any of those. Oh, right, right. We can't sing. I'll tell you something that isn't in this movie. Yes. A bandicoot. Oh. Yeah. No, I mean,'t in this movie. Yes. A bandicoot. Oh.

Yeah. No, I mean, we all knew that. Wow. Okay. Oh, all right. Okay. So it's got to be Crash. That is correct.

Yeah. Yeah. Like your computers written on Scientology Row. Yeah. Yeah, it's right over there. Yeah. Across the street. Oh. All right. Like your computers written on Scientology Row. Yeah, it's right over there. Across the street. Alright, good job, Alan. You fucking idiot.

That's it. We're all getting cancer. All because I suck. You did it! Why would we get cancer? Only you would get the cancer. We were psychically trying to help you. I actually thought it was called traffic, so you guys probably... I thought it was what happens after the crash.

Another great big crash movie. All right. We're going to start with Jeff this time. We're doing it right this time, but it's going to come back at you, Alan, and then maybe Ricky will get to participate. Maybe. We'll see. Does she still get to pick a category or is it just assigned at this point?

Jeff gets to pick. He gets to choose between the penis game. You're not the boss of me or hang on I gotta find another one it's gonna be good later that same night holy shit don't peek Kate

you're so good about it. You're so good about it. What the fuck? Don't edit this part out. Crash. This is what people tune in for. Do people tune in? Can I tell you that I didn't understand the bandicoot thing

for a while? I don't understand it. You're sitting there going, what's traffic bandicoot? Who's good at the camera? You should get a picture of him. Get a picture of all of us, real casual. We'll all be laughing at something

Alan said. Why would you say it like that? Oh, wait, are we supposed to freeze it? Sorry. I didn wait, are we supposed to freeze it? Sorry. I didn't know we were supposed to freeze it. All right, your third...

Your third option, Jeff... Yeah, okay. ...is Squeakwools. Squeakwools. You want Squeakwools? I want Squeakwools, because I don't remember the other two. The penis game was fun, because that's movies with the word dick in the title. All right, let's do that one, then.

And you're not the boss of me as movies with a baby in them. All right, but Squeak-Wools is what we're going to play. And these are movies with a number and animals in the title. Huh. Hmm. Oh. Yeah. All right, Jeff.

It's from 1985. Two and a half stars from Leonard. He calls this movie both clever and confusing. And he says it was inspired by a short film. And he named seven names. Oh. I think I know it. Paul Scheer knows it.

I'm gonna go with seven names. He's taken all seven, Alan. I want Ricky to play. What year is this? This would be... 1985. You don't know it. 95. 95. 95, 95. Oh, 95.

Wait, wait, it changes everything. Let's go back to Jeff. Okay, 1995, and there are animals... An animal and a number. And numbers, because I was thinking it was Clue when it was 85. But if it's an animal with a number? Then maybe it's Clueless. Is that a sequel?

Who is not a sequel? I'm going to go with seven names. Alan? Six names. Ricky? Five names. Paul? Name that movie.

All right. Ricky gets five names. Paul. Name that movie. All right. I do not know it. I think you're going to get it, Ricky. Really? I have a good feeling about you in this. 1995. Two and a half stars. Clever and confusing. Inspired by a short film.

John Seda. Seda? Seda. Not the wrestler? Not John Cena. John Seda. Not Cena. Seda. Seda Not the wrestler? Not John Cena John Seda Not Cena Seda

S-E-D-A Okay David Morse Uh huh Frank Gorshin Right Christopher Plummer Uh huh

Brad Pitt Uh Oh geez Okay Brad Pitt pretty low on the list So I was like 15 Number And animals. Brad Pitt pretty low on the list. So I was like 15. Number and animals.

A Brad Pitt movie. People in the audience are murmuring. I can only think of one movie that's in number and animals, and I don't think Brad Pitt was in it. You don't? No. Think creatively on this one. He rarely is in movies that you're not sure that he's in or not.

Oh, yeah. Was he a voice? He's either in it or he isn't generally. Was he maybe a voice in it or something? Is a Shrek an animal? No, that's not an animal. I can give you a big clue and say Brad Pitt, definitely not in Shrek. I'm going to say the only movie I know with the number of animals, which is 101 Dalmatians.

What? Like, you guys know so many. Yeah. Furious is the name of an animal. What is it? I'm sorry to say that the other two stars of the film, Brad Pitt was nominated for Best Supporting Actor for this role, and then Madeline Stowe and Bruce Willis. It's called 12 Monkeys. Ah.

12 Monkeys. Ah. Oh. called 12 monkeys yeah yeah yeah all right so paul got a point this is really exciting we got points all around except for ricky ricky's the only one who doesn't have a point and uh we're gonna start with kate and then go to paul all right and kate gets to pick between three categories if i can find three categories. I'll get down to two at this point. I know, right? Clint Westwood. I know, pretty funny. Four-star general.

Or... It's always what? It's always someone from Philadelphia. Which one of those do you like? Let's go with Clint Westwood. Okay, Clint Westwood is... Westerns directed by Clint Eastwood. 1992 is the year. Three stars. Leonard calls this movie powerful.

And then he says it's marred by a midsection that plods. Palatable, but plods. Did you ever eat thosesection that plods. Palatable but plods. Did you ever eat those Tide plods? They taste pretty good. I like it. I do it with my friends. We try to challenge each other. What year is it again? Now or when we're talking about this?

92. 92. Nine names. Nine names. How many do you think you can get in, Kate? I think I know it. Oh, zero names. Nine names. How many do you think you can get it in, Kate? I think I know it. Oh, zero names. So you can go zero names, you can go negative names.

For the win. I mean, do I have to say any of the names? Because I wouldn't know anybody in it. Okay, so you can just say zero. So if I say zero, okay, zero names. Yeah. Then I would go name that movie. Then it goes to Paul, and he says name it, and then you say...

Is it Unforgiven? That is correct! Kate Micucci's our winner! She did it! Very well done. Thank you. I never saw it. Nice.

But I just really liked movies when I was 12 and I would look at the posters. It's a good movie. Yeah. It's got a cool poster. That's a very specific category. I don't think I would be allowed to see it when I was posters. It's a good movie. It's got a cool poster. That's a very specific category. I don't think I would be allowed to see it when I was 12. It was probably rated R. You probably could. You could.

Well, my mom was pretty strict. Oh, maybe then you could. There's an entire scene where Clint Eastwood jacks off. Oh! All horse. Right? He ended up cutting it from the movie. But it's a it's a he ended up cutting it from the movie but where's Mike yeah yeah Mike come get your stuff Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Mike, pick your donut. Get a donut, Mike.

Go get a donut. Use your own hand. Was Mike supposed to say? Yep, you got two. There you go. You got a double. You got to go with it. You got double donuts.

When they're stuck together, it's just one donut. Everybody knows that. It's etiquette. Well, that was a real down-to-the-wire game. Yeah, that was exciting. That was good. Jeff, what was a real down-to-the-wire game. Yeah, that was exciting. And Jeff, what do you got to plug? September 28th.

Oh, September 28th, I'm doing another Altered Tates with my brother in Cincinnati if you're around there. Come to that. It's at Bogart's on Shorevine. Love it. And then September 22nd, I'm at a place called Ad North in Chicago at 7. Saturday at 7, September 22nd I'm at a place called Ad North in Chicago at 7. Saturday at 7, September 22nd.

Saturday at 7, September 22nd. Remember it. It's a lot of S's in there. And twitter.com is a fun place to go. Just check that out. People post little blogs and stuff. Just Twitter in general? Just Twitter in general. You can follow me if you want,

but no pressure. Does Our Lips, Our Celia have a shithead for the back? Yeah, myself, we're not ready. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Alan, what are your plugs? Oh, I want to go last.

Oh, okay. Ricky? Garfunkel and Oates is playing Nashville October 5th and 6th and then we're playing Huntsville Alabama October 7th yes

and I'm in the third episode of Kidding that Jim Carrey show it's two Sundays from now wow that's awesome thanks September 23rd

right cause mine is on the 22nd I remember oh okay That's awesome. Thanks. September 23rd. Becca's mind is on the 22nd. I remember. Oh, okay. Paul Shearer, what's going on, dude? I have this new movie that just came out. We just dropped it, like a Beyonce album with Chance the Rapper, Zazie Beetz, myself, Joe Keery from Stranger Things,

Chris Parnell. It's called Slice. It's like a real low budget, like B-horror movie. Chance plays a werewolf in a small town with ghosts. It's available on all digital platforms right now.

It's kind of like Scooby-Doo meets David Lynch. And I think you check that out if you like that kind of thing. And if you do, I think you'll like it. And then I have a new podcast called Unspooled

where we're watching the 100 best movies according to the AFI and figuring out if they are as good as they say they are. So there you go. You can listen to that wherever podcasts are heard. What number are you at on that list? We roll a die. We have a 100-sided

die, so we've done about 20. But they're all out of order. So yeah, we just did E.T. Oh, I have a question. This will be interesting. How many, we just did E.T. Oh, I have a question. This will be interesting. How many of you think that E.T. is relevant now? I love it, but is it something that's even on your radar? Yeah. Yeah?

By applause? Totally. Okay, good. All right. It's a classic. I just don't think the kids now think it's a classic. I think the kids now may watch, like, Back to the Future and maybe the Jaden Smith Karate Kid. That guy could fly the whole time and he doesn't?

What is up with that movie? That movie makes no sense. Whoa, hold on now. We should have brought this up earlier. All right. What are we talking about? 12 Monkeys? No, E.T. I'm still trying to think what

David Lynch and Scooby-Doo would make together. Right? You pull the mask off and it's your mom dressed like David Bowie, but she died four years ago. K. McCoochie, what else? What do you have to plug?

Well, I'll be with Ricky in Nashville and in Alabama. But also, I have an art show at Gallery 1988 here in Los Angeles on October 18th is the opening if you want to come by. And it all goes to charity. Oh, that's neat. You should be going to that website if they can't make it out to L.A., right? And see all this stuff up. Yeah, you can order online. Thanks.

Oh, okay. I'll make you a hat. Where do they go to online to get that stuff? Probably gallery1988.com. Twitter.com and then just type it in, whatever you want,

right there at the top. Google.com. So I've got a YouTube channel. Oh, okay. Do you have any plugs, Alan? Yes. I've got a YouTube channel called Chef, okay. Do you have any plugs, Alan? Yes. I've got a YouTube channel called Chef and the Novice where a professional chef teaches me how to cook.

It's youtube.com slash chef novice. Chef novice. Yes. Okay, got it. And mostly, the most important thing that I really wanted to plug is that I'm so excited that I got to do this. I got to do this with my best friend of 30 years

sitting in the front row. And I got to do this with all of these amazing, talented people that I've admired for years and years and years. And really, truly, I love everything that you guys do. And I root for you every time I see you. And I'm so excited that I get to do this here, and on my dying day, on my deathbed, this will always be one of my favorite moments of all time.

So thank you, everybody, for coming. Oh, thank you! Oh, my God! That's so sweet! Thank you! That is great! Geez, man. Thank you. And thank you to Smile Train for giving braces to hookers or whatever you do for making this work. Don't wreck it, Alan, don't wreck it.

You were in a high. You crushed it, you crushed it. Was there a moment where I thought Alan might pull out a gun and shoot us all? Sure. Me too! For a second. We're having all the same psychic flashes. Just for a second. No, when he was

like up like this. When he turned to face us, I thought, oh shit. I was like, oh, shit just went down. When he turned his left shoulder, I was like, cool, it's not going to be me first. Right, I'm way over here.

So, did you have that too? Extra time. I was like, cool, it's not going to be me first. Brad, I'm way over here. Did you have that too? I'm going to have an extra time. I felt it. I was like, uh-oh. It was right at me. I just, as soon as I saw the sandals, I knew we were all dead. Oh, and the fact that I am wearing

the Jack Burton-inspired Big Trouble in Little China tank top. I like the rock version better. Even though it hasn't even started. Oh, I like the rock version better. Even though it hasn't even started production, I already like the rock version better. I just wanted everybody to know here that I'm not a complete idiot and think I actually look good in this.

So I just wanted to wear a movie-themed T-shirt, and this is what I chose. It's cool, man. It's cool, man. No one thought you looked good in that. No one thought you looked good in that. Aww. That's what he was saying.

He said he didn't think... Well, I did it faster then. What movie are those pants from? We know yours are from How High, Jeff. Next Los Angeles Douglas movies is right here at UCB, Franklin, on Tuesday, October 2nd. And let's hear it one more time for all of my guests. Auction winner, Alan Holm. And all of his favorites, Jeff Tate,

Ricky Lindholm, Paul Scheer, Kima Kuchi. And as always, not bothering to write a shithead on the back of a name tag is a shithead.

People in general are shitheads. This other name tag for never getting picked is a shitheads this other name tag for never getting picked is a shithead and then there's a name tag Doug Benson is Winston Churchill Marcus Tower darkest hour

yeah so that's that's a shithead and this is a double Ryan so don't go to the button too fast. Agent Orange and the way we treat our veterans

is a shithead. We ended on it. When you need energy on the go and don't have time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of espresso and cream made with freshly brewed espresso coffee hormone-free milk and a unique energy blend complete with taurine and b vitamins each can has three shots of espresso and comes in vanilla

espresso or espresso and cream flavors close your eyes take a sip and enjoy espresso monster today see ya now it's time for doug to watch another talky eyes of gold take a sip and enjoy Espresso Monster today. See ya! Now it's time for Doug to watch another talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug loves movies!