Doug Loves Movies - Rob Corddry, Arden Myrin, Jonah Ray and Adam Savage guest

Episode Date: January 22, 2020

Live from the Gateway Theatre in San Francisco as part of SF Sketchfest, Doug welcomes Rob Corddry, Arden Myrin, Jonah Ray and Adam Savage to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, sticky seeds With 50 acid popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you once again

from the iHeartRadio stage at... That's what it says at the Gramercy Gramercy wrong fucking coast Gateway Theater which is of course a gateway to other theaters

if you come to the Gateway next thing you know you'll be going to theaters all the time bigger ones can become a bigger and bigger problem all part of SF Sketchfest in San Francisco all the time. Bigger ones can become a bigger and bigger problem. All part of SF Sketchfest in San Francisco! Not in 3D this year.

Was anybody here last year for the when we did it in virtual reality? Seemed real, didn't it, when you were sitting there watching it? I don't know how many people strapped on their headset and gave that a try, but God bless them if they did. It's Sunday, January 19, 2020,

and the 49ers are playing as we speak. I can't say how much I appreciate you guys for either loving movies more than football or perhaps not giving a shit about football. Whatever it is, but I still

feel bad for anyone who does care about the game, so I will do score updates throughout the show. And the game's been going for a little bit now, so I'll give you the first update. It's San Francisco 72. I don't even know what the other team is.

It's Packers, right? Yeah. All right, well, it's probably going to be an exciting game, so thank you for... Thank you for paying money to skip it. You can watch that for free. You can listen to this for free tomorrow. You guys have made a lot of bad choices.

This show eventually is going to just be me and three or four audience members. Because everyone's going to be like, yeah, why are we? We could just listen. It's fun to see everybody and see everything that happens. I agree with you guys. But that being said,

today I would like to see some championship name tags. Yeah, you guys always have good ones. Well, this Rambo First Blood Part 2, I've seen you before at Cobbs, right? Yeah. Did yours get picked? Okay.

Didn't win, though, you guys. Don't be mad at him. Another classic example of lights around the sign. Do not help me to read the sign. Just looks like lights around blackness. And I think it says Asher instead of Joker. Yeah. Okay, I got it.

Kevin's just loaded up with, he just put his name and a picture of his face and then a picture of my face, and then it looks like weed, candy, and booze. So, Kevin, you're the one I'm gonna pick. I'll be playing for you today. Love, Angela-y. I like it.

You got some really fancy chocolates or whatever those things, bone rocher or whatever they're fucking. What are those things called? Rocher. Rocher. For what? Yeah, nobody knows. They're delicious.

Three men and a what? Bobby. A Bobby? And you put your face on the baby? Excellent. I posted that one on my Instagram. Everyone could see it over there, that bomb Michelle,

where I'm playing the, which one am I? My Margot Robbie? I'm Charlize, right? I'm Charlize Theron. Yep. Typecast. What's this crazy dinosaur head over here?

It's Jeralix Park. Jeralix Park. All right, well, I have to stop there. But there's lots of good ones, so good luck to all of you. As you can see, I've got four guests, so I'm going to race through these plugs. Doug plugs, Tuesday night, January 21st,

I'm going to be on Lights Out with David Spade on Comedy Central. So give that a watch. On Saturday, February 1st, Doug Loves Movies returns to LOL Comedy Club in San Antonio, Texas. And at 4.20, of course. And I'm doing stand-up at the Improv in Tampa, Florida

on Thursday, February 27th. For all my dates and deets and links, go to DougLovesMovies.com. go to DougLovesMovies.com. That's DougLovesMovies.com. Yeah! Hurrah! Quiet! Shh!

It's fun to do that when the guests are on stage because they're really thrown by it. The prize bag tonight includes a Getting Doug with High t-shirt. We're on a brief hiatus on that show, but it will be back very soon, and the plan is to be on 420 every week live, 420 West Coast time every tuesday so hopefully that'll work out for everybody some candy that somebody sent me from harry and david that like just i mean just look at them they don't even look edible no offense harry and dav, but I guess they're chocolate-covered cherries?

But, uh, I don't know. This is something I got when I saw Frozen, the hit Broadway musical. They tricked me into calling it that. That's not the actual, that's not the full title. It's this VIP laminate thing they gave me that I don't know where I'm supposed to go. Do I just show up at Disneyland? Hey, Olaf sent me. Let me in, bitches.

And then a cool hat that's perfect for this climate that says 420 Central on it. And I was just in Austin, Texas, as you may have noticed if you listen to the show, so I brought a copy of Austin Magazine, Austin Monthly, and you may have noticed if you listen to the show. So I brought a copy of Austin Magazine, Austin Monthly. And this is a good one. I meant to look through it before I gave it away. It's got the best new restaurants in Austin. So if you guys ever want to go there, I'd say it's probably San Francisco and Austin have always been kind of neck and neck for my favorite city.

And we'll see how you guys do today. And, of course, someone in the crowd may win this tonight by matching me in their choice for last woman, Stanton. But if they don't win, this stud Benson pin is going in the prize bag. All of that, plus stuff brought by my four esteemed guests. I'm going to put my glasses on to read their names to you. In no particular order. Well, it's favorite to least favorite.

That's not true please give it up for Arden Marine Rob Corddry Jonah Ray and Adam Savage Hi. Let's meet them individually, shall we? Starting with... Arden Marie! Hi! Hi! Hi! I hope everybody, when I introduce them, stands up and does a little shimmy like you just did. It's all shimmy Sunday.

Yeah, you are all dressed up today because you did your podcast earlier here at SF Sketch Fest. I sure did. The Will You Take My Rose? We Take My Rose. Is that what it's called? It's called Will You Accept This Rose? It's a very hard-hitting political bachelor podcast. Real thinky. It's thinky You Accept This Rose? It's a very hard-hitting political bachelor podcast. Real thinky.

It's thinky. Very NPR. And how does it work? Do you just analyze the most recent episode? Yeah, and we treat it sort of like a mystery. I don't watch sports, but I would imagine if you like sports, you guess who's going to get banged in hometowns? Who's going to get Clemente in a hot tub? Who's going to get the ring? And then who's going to be the next in hometowns? Who's going to get Clemente in a hot tub?

Who's going to get the ring? And then who's going to be the next chosen one? It's fun. It's like fantasy Bachelorette League. That's exactly right. Or Bachelor. It's Bachelor now? Right now it's Bachelor, then it's Bachelorette,

and then it's the most important television show on TV, Bachelor in Paradise. Where hairless people just go become influencers in Mexico. And it's a really beautiful thing we've created. They're hairless the whole time. I don't know when they get rid of it. That would be a terrible show when just them getting rid of their hair.

Yeah. Well, it depends how. I mean, if it was all with an epilady, then it would be kind of exciting. Epilady? Do those still exist? Remember that? My mother had one of those.

I had. I feel like my mom was like, here, try this. Because I'm very hairy. But it's like a canned ham. No. Maybe this will cut through that fuzz. Huge. Huge.

It's like, no, I'm kidding. It was, yeah, but I remember, and it just ripped your hair out. It just pulled the hair out. Like one hair at a time. The worst. Yep, not all at once. Yeah.

Great. It's developed in Israel, but not for hair. You've got to love a product that sounds like epilepsy. That's a really good, that's a really good move on their part.

And let's say hello to this gentleman to my left. It's his first time on the show. Adam Savage is here, everybody. Do the shimmy. You're welcome, everyone. Well, now the floodgates are open. The other guys have to do it. But thank you for being here,

Adam. It's so exciting to meet you and to have you on this show. I've been a longtime fan. First time caller. Let me see if I can get you on the phone. I have two things that I walked away with from the time that Mythbusters was on that I never stop talking about when the opportunity arises. One is that

if you punch a shark in the face, it will swim away. Because you guys fucking did it. Yeah, we did. Yeah, and I tell people that and they go, no, they didn't. That's the greatest myth of all time. They didn't punch a fucking shark and then it swam away. It did. It comes right back, but it does swim away.

Like every time you punch it, it would swim away. And this was the very first time, that episode, it was the very first time that something had been... We had started the show, and we were in it about a year, and someone came up to me, and he was like, you know what you guys should do? You should get underwater and punch a shark and see if it goes away.

And I was like, get away from me! That's a terrible idea! And when we went down there, we were talking, and the shark divers have a joke. we went down there, we were talking, and the shark divers have a joke. They say, well, we tell people to punch him in the nose, and if that doesn't work, stick the bloody stump in his eye. And then a year later, we were there underwater

punching sharks in the nose. How hard do you have to punch it? Not very hard at all. Their noses are super sensitive. You literally just touch their nose, and they want to swim away. Yeah, there's nothing else underwater that is going to fuck with a shark's nose. are super sensitive. You literally just touch their nose and they want to swim away. Yeah, there's nothing else underwater

that is going to fuck with a shark's nose. One of the things that we didn't say on the episode is that our shark-punching, we built a shark-punching robot before we tried it ourselves. As you do, as you do. The shark-punching robot had two fists and we bought those fists

at Mr. S. Leather's specialty sex supplier here in San Francisco. I don't think you had to pad the episode with the robot. I would have watched 30 minutes straight of just punching sharks in the nose. The best part was they were two different fisting dildos that were used. So one was, of course, this, but the other was this. Did they both work?

Apparently. That's exciting. I wish I was in the pitch room for that. What was the other thing? That was so visual. I didn't before that either. I didn't know you could buy a dildo with a hand. Great.

A fisto. A fisto. buy a dildo with a hand great a fist oh the other one was I fly a lot and it drives me crazy when people say out loud why do I have to put my seat up to land and you guys prove that because you're more likely to get injured if there's a crash yes yeah the brace position is totally real. It turns out that being in a lazy boy position while hurtling into the ground is probably not the safest way to do it. We're talking margins of safety,

so you're still probably going to die, but you have slightly less of a chance Did you get hurt doing it? Yes, we did. How far back were you leaning? It wasn't that we were leaning far back. They don't go back that far. It was actually that we built a set

on an angle that planes crash at and then we dropped it six feet while strapped into airplane seats. Ow! We bruised our shins. Which I think we felt so stupid about we didn't even cut that into the episode. Wow.

Yeah. You're sitting next to a living jackass. I'm trying to put this whole puzzle together. I'm in. Let's say hi to the rest of the guests. See what kind of moves they've got. Who wants to go next? Jonah Ray is here!

Jonah Ray! Jonah Shimmy Ray. You got it, Jonah. Shake it, shake it. Shake it, shake it, shake it. Shake it. Just a shim. Yeah.

I'll just give you one shim. You guys laugh at my jokes today. I'll do more shims. Oh, I like that. Yeah. Shims for laughs. Yes. I love that charity.

Yeah, it's great charity. It's way better than epilepsy lady charity. Epilepsy, hairy charity. Epilepsy Hairy Charity. Epilepsy Fisty Dildos. Yep. Yes. Dot org is my new website. Yes.

Dot org is your new website? Dot org. Yeah, it's very important. Things are really working out for me. I'm in San Francisco. I meet people who work at Tesla. Things are happening. How did your show go last night, Jonah?

It was a lot of fun. I did a, I did a, like a, I Jonah? It was a lot of fun. I did a... I do punk rock songs with Weird Al lyrics for a thing I call You Can't Call Me Al. And we played at Café du Nord, and it was a lot of fun. That's why my voice is a little hoarse. Because you have to scream these songs? Yeah, yeah, they're punk songs.

And the venue wasn't really... They had seats all the way up to the front, and I said, it's like, you know, there's probably people, it's just going to be like a music show, so it'd be probably best to just have no seats and people standing. And then the lady at the venue was like,

I don't think you know comedy audiences. I was like, love coming up to Sketch Fest. I was like, love coming up to Sketch Fest. Comedy audiences do love sitting. They do. That is true. I mean, you guys want to stand so bad, right? You want to stand up and shimmy? But you're right, though, Jonah.

When there is music, especially punk music, I don't really think sitting is necessary. You sounded like Donahue doing a special act. Punk music. I don't know if I liked your attitude. Especially that kind. It's not good for sitting. It's not.

Most people who love punk music have hemorrhoids. Mythbusters. Very strange Venn diagram, but it's true. They intersect right there nicely, and so they like to go to those shows and stand and jump up and down. Yes, yes.

Because those things help heal their hemorrhoids. Also joining us today is Rob Corddry! Yay! Yay! I'm not gonna stop shimmying You have to stop Do the fucking show We gotta do the show with you Do the fucking show I'm so tired

I have very tight. The doctor said you can't do it anymore. I have very tight hips. Be careful. Thank you. Great job. Great chiming. Rob, of course, is the star of Ballers, The Unicorn, Medical, Police.

What shows are you not on? That will be a shorter list. The Bachelor? Yeah, not yet, not yet. Too hairy. Yes. Would you do that? Would you want to be a Bachelor?

No. You'd be great. No. I mean, I- How great would it be to have just a hilarious Bachelor? It'd be great I mean how great would it be to have a just a hilarious bachelor it'd be great

a comedian there going you guys are fucking assholes yeah it'd be great you know like

but yeah I'll do it if you're yeah if you're asking I'll do it okay he actually produces

the bachelor he does Rob is the next bachelor we're announcing it here I love that ladies will you take this rose He actually produces the Bachelor. Rob is the next Bachelor. We're announcing it here. I love that. Ladies.

Will you take this rose? Take it. Take it. Come on, just take the rose. He doesn't have the rose. He throws that. Does anybody want the rose? Who wants this rose?

Oh, my God. Wow. I missed the first part of that. Go ahead. In the darkness, it will accept your rose if you pick out her outfits. Oh, she watches the unicorn. Thank you for watching the unicorn. She's the one.

She's the unicorn. Every unicorn has a unicorn. But turns out I'm good at picking out tween girls' outfits. But actually, I mean, I think in real life I'd be pretty good at that. You got nice socks on. No, I'm not terrible at putting patterns together. Show me your socks. I just noticed that.

That's exciting. This is great. Podcast. Yeah. Wow, look me your socks. I just noticed that. That's exciting. This is a great podcast. Yeah. Wow, look at those socks. For the listeners, for everybody listening at home, they're fucking awesome.

I think Jonah's got fun socks on, too. My mom gave me these socks. They're Corgis. Oh! Yeah. Those look like the socks that Adult Swim gives us every Christmas.

Yeah, they're little corgis. And when she gave them to me, she's like, it's like the dog that you just had to put to sleep. Merry Christmas, Mom. I've been told I have the build of a corgi because I'm 5'3", but our torsos are the same height. We're shoulder to shoulder right now. We're not that far off.

That is weird. Corgi. Now let's stand up. I have heels on too. Let's get real here. Ready? Whoa. Liquid death. My crotch is right here. That's why I never wear pants. That's why I never wear pants.

That's why I never wear pants. These are just fun visual bits for the podcast. People love it. I spilled my... This is water, liquid death water that they give us. Hipster water. I like it. That's a fun game for dinner parties.

You know, like you're the same size sitting down, and then you stand up, and everyone can guess what the difference is going to be. I should, like, you're the same size sitting down, and then you stand up, and it's different. Everyone can guess what the difference is gonna be. I should be like, oh, June, how's it going up there? Yeah, it's crazy. Sure is. I blame your mom. I'm blaming your mom.

Let's talk prize bag. I notified Adam through DM that he would have to bring something for us today. And of course, you know, what does that mean to you when you hear that? Bring something for the prize bag. How do you even know what to bring? Well, I have some merch,

so I brought a piece of my merch. I'm that asshole. It's perfect. No, you're not. I mean, that's what it started out as. I just wanted people to promote themselves through the items they put in the bag. So what is it? Well, so I had some visitors at my shop this morning, and I have a tray of merch.

And as they were leaving, I gave them some party favors, and I grabbed one for you guys. And this is a NASA patch I just had made with my name on it. Oh, that's nice. It's just NASA logos known as the meatball. You have the best last name ever. Really good last name. So if you're a fan of Mythbusters or Dan Savage. Or Fred or Wonder Years, Wonder Years.

Exactly, exactly. Or Boy Meets World. Savages in general. Yeah. General savages. That is beautiful. Look at that. All right, what do you have for us,

Arden? I have three things. I have for movie fans out there, I have a Chucky doll. Any movie fans out there? The movie's a lot less scary if it was that size. I actually... If he killed someone this size, that would be awesome.

That's a good point. While you were asleep with a sewing needle, like 500. The saddest thing is I have a book coming out next fall, and I'm a real redhead, and I have bangs cut like a serial killer as a child. And so I took a photo. I ordered this doll thinking it was a proper-sized doll to take a picture of for the book. So this is actually in my book, and that's my haircut as a child. I have a pocket kite.

I bet you do. It's about time. It's about time. Because you know real kites are unwieldy. It's about time. All these backpack kites, I'm like... You don't know when you're gonna catch a breeze. Gotta lug this around all day?

Yeah, when I was coming up here from Los Angeles, I'm like, I gotta I got to check my kite. If only there was a better way. And this is the, like, my parent, the only way I learned about sex, my parents left this book out for my brother and I. It's called How Babies Are Made, and it is, and it has cart paper cutouts

of chickens humping other chickens. Oh, fuck yeah. And literally they never told us anything. Let me say it again. So did you ask your parents, Mom, where's my cloaca? You're going to win today. You're going to win. I should just give this to you.

But if you guys want a sexy weekend and not make a baby, or make a baby, you could... Or two chicks. Two... There we go.

So that's what I have. That's what I have. All right, pass all that stuff over here. I can't wait to play with all of it. Great. Pocket kite. Pocket kite. That's amazing.

Pocket kite is way bigger than Chucky. Yeah. Chucky's also got kind of a sex doll face, don't you think? The mouth is kind of strange. That's an off-brand Chucky. I didn't splurge.

To be fair, clearly I went for the discount Chucky doll, but it needed to have hair. Finally, the show has a mascot. All right, what do you have for us, Jonah? From the aforementioned Weird Al stuff, I have a cassette tape version of You Can't Call Me Al, where I do covers of Dare to Be Stupid, Frank's 2000-inch TV, Amish Paradise,

Eat It, and I do the Every Country Has a Monster song from Mystery Science Theater 3000. So this is essentially me giving out something that no one can do anything with. But it was in my backpack, clearly, because the cassette tape case is broken. No, I wanted to have an authentic feel.

You know, like kids walking around, mixtapes. You guys are... Wow. Wow, this is what used to happen with tapes. I guess we can add tape busting to your fucking resume. Yes. Wow. Wow.

I'm just trying to be the villain Gotham needs. I fixed it. It's gonna be fine. Now Rob has prize bag issues. He feels like he doesn't deliver on this front. I think you always bring great stuff.

I don't think I have. I know at least one time I've done this front. I think you always bring great stuff. I don't think I have. I know at least one time I've done this show before I forgot a prize. I forgot it. And you looked at me. To have Doug Benson look at you disappointed is a very strange thing. Because that's why I like doing this show.

Because no matter what you say, funny or not, he's like, it's the best. But to have him kind of like disappointed in you is a bummer, so I kind of went a little overboard. I got, so this is in the, this is about, this is relevant to movies. This is a book about David Lynch. Now, here's why I got it. Because it's just straight-up paragraphs.

There's no... It is the densest book. There's no chapter. There's no chapter. I don't care how much you like... I actually was like, oh, maybe I'll keep this book. And I was flipping through it,

and I was like, I'm never gonna read this book. So... Lose the chapters. Chuck, more words! More words. It's like the book won't take a breath. It's just like, I gotta get all this out.

And then this happened, and then that happened. I want the reader to feel fatigued. And this is pretty awesome. This is called Movie Speak. How to talk like you belong on a film set. Oh, I need it. So good. It's the book we didn't think we needed.

I dog-eared some pages. If you guys have like 45 minutes. What's this one? Oh, banana. Yeah. Yeah, banana. That's like one of those things they tell you,

you got a banana in, meaning you could go straight, but they want you to go like a banana. You curve. Around the long way. Curve it. Just because it looks better. So that's just an intro

to what sort of... That's actually real. That's a real tip. You can't just walk on a film set and go, hey guys, you need a banana? Hey guys. It's not really how you fit in.

Two Licos on a banana? I'm looking for this one. Is this it right here? This is fucked up. I didn't know this. This is one of those, there's a lot of them that have also gone by the wayside too, for obvious reasons that you will understand.

A man-maker. Oh, yeah. You know that one? Apple box, yeah. But it's a man-maker, so it makes a person taller. A quarter apple, that's right. Oh, my God, because it's like for a short guy? Well, you would need a half apple, not a quarter apple.

Not my torso. Isn't that crazy that it was at some point called a man maker? Wow. It's rough. Oh, and here's the one that I wanted to get to. That's crazy. And I'll stop here, but there's other dog-eared pages

for your private enjoyment. A Mickey Rooney. What's that? It's a short creep. Meaning, zoom in slowly, but not for too long. Couldn't believe that when I heard it.

And then, oh, I already said that one. This is a good one. Gummy candy lab. You can make your own gummies. I don't know if you guys like gummies at all, or you ever find yourself in the position where you might eat gummies?

Wow. But you want to wait hours before you can? Yeah. If you ever want to get high and wait 12 to 16 hours, then this is for you. I really like instant gummies.

I like the ones that are gummies already. These ones, these ones, you wait for. Okay, I see the distinction. And that's it. Next time, I'm just not going to bring anything. Yeah, you'll get them next time.

I feel like I blew it out. No, you did it great. Pass it all down. Oh, sorry. Yeah. See, I kind of want to keep them all. I want every guest to touch it and feel jealous that they don't get these things, because those are three excellent items.

Yeah. And one person is going home with all of this stuff after we play some games, but we're going to do that in a moment. First, I'd like to, you know, it's Doug Lowe's movies, so let's talk about movies a little bit. Starting with you, Adam, kind of a hardball question. What was the last movie you saw in any format? I watched Wong Kar-wai's film In the Mood for Love

last Saturday night. Listen to this guy. Actually, fancy. Solid smattering. You're gonna win. I'm sorry. That's so niche. You're so gonna win.

There's actually a really specific reason and I'm gonna fucking shit on the comedy right now for a second. I'm sorry. My family dog, 14 years, we had to put him down

last Saturday evening. Somebody did dogs. Where's your socks? him down last Saturday evening. Somebody did dogs. Where's your socks? I had the wrong reaction. Somebody did dogs. Hey, I had socks or it didn't happen. It was... And it was a beautiful day. We knew in the beginning of the day, so friends came by all day and said goodbye.

We did it in the house with all of us holding him. And then I wanted a movie that was just like a pure mood. I wanted something that I didn't have to think too much about, and I wanted something that would just sort of wash a mood over me. And if you don't know the films Wong Kar-Wai, they're fucking incredible. And In the Mood for Love is one of the most beautiful

movies ever made. And it's just this beautiful tone poem about two people who don't quite get together. And it's still magical. And we just let it wash over us that evening and it was great. That's a good one. I've been meaning to do like a

when your dog dies, what should you watch? What should you watch when that happens segment? So far I just keep telling people John Wick, which isn't really not, it's really not, It's really not... It's not a good recommendation. It's not the right thing to... Have them start with part two.

That's fine. Spoiler, the dog makes it through that one. Arden, what was the last movie you saw? Parasite. Hey! So good. You like it? I did, I loved it. It's it? I did. I loved it.

It's very good. Yeah. I thought it was going to be a horror movie, and it was more of a thriller. Yeah. It was, I dare say, yeah. It was like, what's a word they used to use all the time? A thriller, I guess, is the word. We don't say that anymore, that a movie's a thriller.

The thing that she said. Suspense. Yeah. I panicked saying the word H-O-R-R-O-R, because a movie's a thriller. The thing that she said. Yeah. I panic saying the word H-O-R-R-O-R because I'm from Rhode Island and I always say horror. Horror.

But it's not. It's horror. Horror. How do you say that? Horror. Horror. Horror. Horror.

Horror. Horror. Where are you from? Fucking Boston. It's horror. It's a horror. R-R-R-R-O-R-R-R. Yeah, it's horror.

It's a horror. Yeah. The horror. I saw, it's not a horror horror. It's a horror. Yeah. The horror. I saw, it's not a horror movie. It's a thriller. I loved it. It's not garbage at all. I loved it.

It will key your car if you try to fucking go away on a camping trip with your kid. Jonah, what about you? I watched, what did I see? 1917, I think, was the last movie I watched. Fancy. That was great. Or it could have been Big Night. Oh, no, Big Night was the one.

Tony Shalhoub? Yeah. Oh. I'd never heard of Big Night. Tony Shalhoub and... Stanley Tuch. Stanley Tuch. The Tuch.

And Ray Donovan's in it. Ray Donovan has like one line. Does he go by El Tuche? Liam Stryber. El Tuche. Isn't Carmela Soprano? Big Night? Start naming everybody by their own.

Mark Anthony has like a small part in that too. J-Lo's Mark Anthony? Yeah. Baby Dad? He plays like their little kitchen guy. That movie made the Tucci like a big star when it came out Big Night

yeah I had never heard of it and it was on cause he wrote it I love Shalhoub I love Stanley Tucci but I fucking love Tony Shalhoub

like I think about him all the time you should tell him I should tell him you should tell him but he would be nonplussed about it I bet

he'd be used to it he's like, yeah. They did a tribute to him last weekend here at Sketchfest. Did anyone here go to that? Yeah, and I was there. That's why I'm bringing it up. And I wasn't really looking for anybody else's take on it because I'm about to continue talking about it.

I'm trying to connect us to the audience. If there is anybody else that can talk about it. Anybody. I'm waiting to connect us to the audience. If there is anybody else that can talk about it. Anybody. Who can speak on this subject? Anybody. Yeah, they did it last weekend and the movie they showed,

this is a great segue and gives Rob more time to think about his answer. I know what movie I saw last. Because I'm going back to Adam for a second. They showed Galaxy Quest.

Yeah. And Adam worked on that movie in the special effects. I did. What did you do? When they're pulling out of the Thermion dock and they scrape against the side of the dock, I built the thing they scrape against. That's cool.

And it was about three feet long, and there's little slides. They gave me hundreds of transparencies of thermions standing in the windows and I had to glue one into each window and back the whole thing. Wow, that's cool. And now that prop that I built is on sale at Prop Store of London's website.

How much? $3,500, which is a fraction of what they paid to have us build it. But I still won't pay to get my own prop back. Let's get a Kickstarter. Let's get a Kickstarter. Go to my.org website. It's Venmo Kickstarter. Let's get a Kickstarter. Go to my.org website. It's Venmo me.

How big is it? It's a model, so it's small. Yeah, it's about 30 inches long. The check he went proportionally. That's the only movie I worked on that I would watch again. Well, you should have saw it last Saturday at the beautiful Castro Theater.

It was really fun. It's a perfect movie. I'll give you $3,600 for that. Oh. What's that? You're taking it from him? So I've already made $100. I hear $3,600 over here.

I got $3,700 over here. So what was the last movie you saw, Rob? Oh, thank you. I need more time. It was last night. Like hotel movies. The cousin of the airplane movie which you picked

I mean every time you turn on a hotel room TV Mario Lopez starts telling you about yes starts telling you your options that guy I want it to be live

I want him to always like he's like I work like 24 hours a day yeah coming to you from the grove the king of the grove. And he's like, and I don't sleep.

Look at my eyes. I don't need to. And then every time, it's because it's like a 15 minute loop. So it's like every time he gets to the end of the video, he's like, and that's what you can find on the TV. Hey, I'm Mario Lopez. Yeah.

He's hairless. He feels very hairless. That's a Black Mirror episode is what it is. Yeah. So I watched, it was the first movie that was the first choice, which is rare, because usually you're just scrolling through that chain. You gotta flip around for a few hours.

And I was like, fuck yeah, Ford Fairlane. Ford versus, not Ford Fairlane. Ford Fairlane versus. Wait, I saw Ford versus Ferrari starring. Ford Fairlane. Ford Fairlane, Dice. Starring the Dice Man. Is that a good movie, because people like, no, no. Wait. I saw Ford versus Ferrari starring at... Ford Fairlane. Ford Fairlane. Starring the Dice Man. Is that a good movie?

Wait, which one? Ford Fairlane versus Cool as Ice. Ford Fairlane versus Ferrari. Ferrari. All right, I want to clarify something. I have seen Ford Fairlane. I love Matt Damon, and I love Crazy Bale. I'm totally in on both of them.

You're talking about two different movies. Thank you, by the way, for saving me from that awful moment. Well, listen. Yes. It's good. The answer is yes. Okay, I'm gonna watch it.

So it's like cars and shit? Thank you. The reason why was because I just love, I didn't know I needed this in my life, Christian Bale, serious face Christian Bale,

shifting. I just, I wanna see this. Clutch! Accelerate! Shift! Clutch! Like that. I had such a crush on him as a girl. I just, I wanna see this. Clutch, accelerate. Shift, clutch. Like that. I had such a crush on him as a girl.

I can watch him do that for 90 minutes without any dialogue. I'm gonna watch that. I'm gonna go watch that. So he was like at the double clutching. Did you like that? Double clutching. He was double clutching.

Yeah. He knows right when to throw it in the third. Ford versus Ferrari is my ninth favorite movie of the films nominated for Best Picture. So I won. What's number one? What's number one? Where's Ford Fairlane on that?

Three. Honestly, Ford Fairlane's terrible, but I liked it more. I like it because it's more fun. I like that it's there. Yeah, exactly. I like it because it's more fun. I like that it's there. Yeah, exactly. I didn't hate it. It wasn't my cup, as they say.

What was your top pick for Oscar? Because it's, you know, I'm just not... What's your favorite race car movie, Rob, if you had to name one? Ford vs. Ferrari. It's the best one ever made. I just saw it last night, man. Watch, maybe I didn't do this right. Like, so I can't, I'm holding a mic.

Oh, Jonah, will you hold that mic up? Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you need a clutch? What's your clutch? Um, I have to do it. You're shifting, you're shifting. You're shifting, Ben. I didn't see the movie.

I didn't see the movie. Watch my mouth. Rear view. Both sides. Then, ha ha, something fucking crazy that we know each other. And then watch this. I just fucking went into second gear

and no one was expecting that. I can't wait. Because I was breaking into a turn for fuck's sake. So favorite. I'm gonna picture you the whole time I'm watching it. Whenever I'm improvising and I'm driving, like in a driving scene, I'm always driving a standard. Like, just,

because I'm that good. My favorite movie of last year is also nominated for Best Picture and it's Jojo Ramsey. I loved it. I'm in love with the boy that was the best friend with the glasses. He's so good. He's going to be the new Home Alone kid. Is he really? He's perfect. He's so cute.

It's true. They're be the new Home Alone kid. Is he really? He's perfect. He's so cute. It's true. They're rebooting it with that kid. He's so cute. I mean, he's already been in a war, so he can handle that. He can handle a few wet bandits. I've watched that movie four times. Jojo Rabbit. I love Jojo Rabbit so much. I think it's so great. It's perfect, I think.

It was great. Everything about it and how weird it... How they can get away with being so silly in parts of it and then so sad in others and it all somehow works. It's really good. I did not see it and I did not care for it. There was no cars. Yeah, it's important to take a stand.

When Scarlett Johansson shifted to third gear, you don't see it coming. Oh, wait a minute. Now you're, now I'm listening. She was really good at that. Yeah. She did a great job. Okay. That was nice. So that's the show, right?

We'll see you guys around. I'll accept those answers. Great. But now we move on to an even tougher round. Uh-oh. Yeah. The impressions round. Oh, no. I've never done this. I've never done this. I've never done this. Does anybody want to do an impression?

It could be of anything. It could be of somebody driving stick. I don't mind stick. Dueling David Lynch's? Here's your coffee. I didn't want a coffee. Well, it says here it doesn't matter. Oh, my apologies.

Let me give you the glad hand. Let's bury the hatchet and have some shakes. A-OK. Those are some... Those were some really good impressions, friends. I will

attempt Megan Mullaly from the first season of Will and Grace. Oh, because it was different? Yeah. Ah, Christ, hey. Ah, Christ, it's fleet week. Oh, ah!

Wow. Thank you. Thank you. Are you stop watching after season one? I think I just saw the pilot. Why the distinction? I don't know. Maybe her voice dropped. When they rebooted, she's like,

hey, what's up? Like most comics, I'll do a Norm Macdonald. Oh, okay. This is Norm Macdonald talking about time travel. Ah! What would I, Norm Macdonald, do

if I could travel in time? Oh, first I'd get rid of that Mussolini character, that's for sure. Ah! Oh, Wiener Dog, get off me there, Wiener Dog. That's good. That's a satisfying impression. Really satisfying.

I wanna let you into an impression. We're gonna be the sisters from The Fighter, meeting Amy Adams for the first time. Oh, look, you come over here, I miss fucking MTV. What are you, you got Ricky, you got Dicky, you fucking, what, right? You got the red head, you got red hair? Yeah.

Are you fucking, you're not from fucking Massachusetts? Yeah, I got the red head? You got red hair? Yeah. You're not from fucking Massachusetts? Yeah, I got the red hair. What are you from? Stoneham? I was born in Fall River. Fuck you. I fought chicks tougher than you. Oh, you think you fought chicks?

Long before they tore down the... I will key your fucking car behind the Mesquamicate water park tonight. My brother is a cop and he knows what he built it. Oh, I know. Yeah. You think that my cousin didn't fuck your brother who's a cop? My cousin, she's a fucking

DJ on a party boat. We would never talk about this. Oh, you think you don't know... I lost, I was supposed to be a cop, I lost my fucking trigger finger. Everybody knows how you lost your trigger finger, Tommy. You lost it at fucking shop class. Stop it! You lost it at fucking shop class.

Band saws are sharp! They're not safe, there's no protection. So that didn't stop you from trying to fake it I fucking love you I fucking love you Oh my god I fucking love you So let's never fight again Let's never fight again

I'm so fucking sorry That's why me and Arden hated high school Do we get the part? Me and Arden hated high school. Do we get the part? No. What have you got, Adam? I got an impression of Jean Reno playing Leon the Professional. Oh, I love this!

It's really quick. It's just walking into his apartment and 12-year-old Natalie Portman is there with her black guy because her asshole dad just beat her. She's there with a black guy? Different time. And she says, is life always this hard?

And he says, always like this. Yeah! Great. You're welcome, everybody. Did you ever almost lose a digit? Great question. Yes. Great.

And bandsaws were invented for cutting meat. Bandsaws are terrible inventions. Are you serious? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I have 14 stitches from one. Don't use those things. Yeah. I used one in college.

Nobody should have ever let me add that, but I did it. Shoplift. Let you add that? It was like a theater major. They made me take set building. They were like, here's a band saw. Not a good idea. Great.

Great story artist. I almost lost a finger. I actually got shot in my finger. By who? By me. You've had the most interesting life. Before they punched the shark, they tried to shoot it. You're pouring the most interesting life Before they punched the shark They tried to shoot it

You're pouring the gun at your face Going I don't know which one is the real me I was This was off camera We had some bulletproof glass And there was an executive at Discovery Who was leaving and we wanted to make him a going away gift And one of the coolest things in the world

Is a bullet embedded in bullet resistant glass because it captures the bullet you can see the shock rings of the hit and it's really gorgeous and I have one on my desk so we thought let's shoot a bullet into some of our extra bulletproof glass and so we put it on the ground Scooby-Doo was there? Yeah we put it on the ground and I held the gun out and fired down like this and what happened was the bullet actually bounced

off the bulletproof glass and hit my index finger. Where? Right there. It just gave me about 12 stitches. That's it? That's it. It lost a lot of energy hitting the bullet-resistant glass before it came back and hit my finger.

Yeah, but 12. Did it kill? But will you ever play piano again? The thing is, is I have this very specific reaction whenever I cut my hands. And I've cut other parts, and that's not a problem. When I cut my hands, I immediately pass out. I have a reaction.

So I shot the bullet, and I felt the thing in my finger. I put the safety on my gun. I handed it to the armorer, and then I said, someone bring me a chair and hold my shoulders. And I sat down in the chair, and Jamie held my shoulders,

and I passed out, and I woke up like 10 seconds later. Wow, it's like planning ahead for a weekend with Bernie. That's funny. That's what I call it. How big of a cut does it make you? If I wanted to cut you a little, would you pass out? No, it has to be a stitch-worthy cut.

How much do we have to cut you? Because this passing out thing sounds fun. I know. Isn't that what girls do at slumber parties? They like... We cut each other. No, you hyperventilate

and pass out, right? All the time. All the time. Not just girls. A lot of people do that. Yeah, only girls. Totally. Yeah.

We never did that. Yeah. It's crazy. Well, here's a part of the show where I say, let the games begin! Ah! Oh, my God. We got! Ah! Oh, my God.

We got name tags. Oh, my God. Lots of name tags. Oh, this is great. It's really going to be tough for you to choose. Oh, there's a super-high-me one. Jamie, so go pick the one that you want to play for. I love this!

And while you guys figure out which ones you like, we're going to go to a brief commercial message we'll be right back hey everybody there's no sponsors on this particular episode so i'll just say if you're in the houston area come see me at skank fest at the secret group on march 27th and 28th on the 28th there will be a Doug Loves Movies taping, so be sure to get your tickets, Houston. Back to the show.

Alright, we're back. We did it. Helping me. Oh, don't cut yourself. Oh, don't cut yourself. Don't cut yourself. Please cut yourself. Cut yourself. Please cut yourself. Look at that.

Oh, don't cut yourself. Don't cut yourself. Please cut yourself. Cut yourself. Please cut yourself. You want one? You don't have to wait. For anybody.

Do you want a gummy? Do you want a gummy? Sure. Great. Sorry. Douglas? Oh, I'm good, thanks. Okay. Thank you.

All right. Let's discuss these name tags. All right. We've got Allison City, a duck to kill for. Eminem's Reese's Sour Patch Watermelon, the best sour patch, objectively. And a nice big fat joint. There we go. Were there joints on this shit?

It's beautiful. Is there? Oh, shit. What do you have, Arnie? I have bomb Michelle with a beautiful Doug Benson. I know, right? Right here, I've got a Michelle.

We've got Nicole Kidman right in the middle, and I've got some candy and some bombshell sweets on the bottom. It's really very well, her 15-year-old son made it. You raised her winner. But where's your son? I left him at home. You left him at home? He doesn't get to come see this dirty show.

He doesn't get Doug Benson. She doesn't get to come see this dirty show. He doesn't get Doug Benson. He just doesn't get him. This is a Canna Bill Holocaust. It's pretty good. Pretty good. Canna Bill. Where's his name? Because your name's Canna.

And it says Savage on it. And I thought that was a nice way to tie in the deus. Nice. So should I pick another one? Is that the... It's a name, it's a noun, it's a verb. It's really good. All right.

Oh, so where'd that Ferrero Rocher come from? She just threw that up there. That was nice. It's just a bonus. It's a bonus one. I don't want it. Great. Great. Great. Fuck your rocher!

Fuck your rocher! That doesn't go with... Do rocher! Do rocher! What's this, 1% or candy? Get the fuck out of here! Oh, you think you're better than me? You're looking at me like you're fucking better than me? Maybe I'm fucking raw shit? I don't think so. Yeah, ooh, gold foil!

All good. I got a 401. What did you end up with there, Rob? So, uh, well, listen. I'm gonna be honest. It kind of phoned in the wordplay, because it's just Christopher Robin. But, uh, you hear the name Chris wordplay because it's just Christopher Robin. But is your name Chris? Oh, it's Ian.

It's Ian or Ewan? Wait, I'm Robin. That makes no sense. What the fuck is going on? You guys get it together. Oh, his name's Robin. Your name's Robin? Whatever.

I chose it because this guy looks really this guy looks really smart and throughout the whole show I've seen him go like if I say something funny he goes like gives me a little nod like but if not he's like you can do better than that so I think I feel like he's a very smart person chose him you like to be kept on your toes yeah I see that. I like it. And also, these are edibles on here, right? So how high are these going to get me? Because I don't handle it well. You told me that you're really bad at pot. Definitely eat the whole thing.

A little bit? Don't do it. I'm not going to touch it then. I got to get on a plane. We'll be wrapped before it takes effect. He said backstage he's so bad at pot. Do it. But I keep trying. Every time I see him smoke weed,

he walks in the shape of a banana. I'll need a Mickey Rooney as he bananas. All right, this first game we're going to play, it takes a few games to determine a winner. We warm up to the big game at the end that really is for all the prizes. So, you know, in the meantime, just have fun with it. This first game is called Live, Die, Repeat.

Yeah, I'm going to... I'm going to slowly say the title of a film. First one of you on stage, first panelist who repeats back that title correctly and in its entirety wins the game. Arden has a question. If we guess wrong, do we get eliminated? Nope, guess all you want.

Okay, thank you. You can even start guessing right now if you're feeling lucky. Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift. No. Okay, great. That was the second one. Okay, and every time somebody guesses, I'll go back to the beginning. Great.

The? Long Kiss, Good Night. Great action movie. Oh, you're good at this. Great action movie. It was basically the one that Matt Damon did, but it was Geena Davis that she forgot she was a spy. Oh, like the Bourne identity.

Yeah. Wait, what's the game? I speak Arden. I felt like you get me. That was the only guess. Bourne identity. The Bourne ultimat me. The. That was the only guess on the. Born I Get Me. The Born I'll Tomato.

The Coonies. It's not a thing. The Crown. The Last. Emperor. The Last Action Hero. Emperor. No. Last Action Hero.

The Last Emperor. The Last. The Last Emperor. House on the Left. Boy Scout. The Last Boy Scout. The Last NIMBY. No.

That's all the last movies. Person Standing. The Last Picture Shop. Last Man Standing. Those are great guesses. The Last Man on Earth. The Last... Oh, fuck.

What is that? The Last Time I Saw Your Face. Is that a movie? No. No. No. I wanted to participate. Train to Yuma.

The last Train to Yuma is a movie. No, 310 to Yuma. I don't know what's going on. The last Train to Yuma. The sequel to 310 to Yuma is the last Train to Yuma. I tried to know what's going on in the last train that day. The sequel to 310 to Yuma is the last train to Yuma. Did you finish down the trilogy with no more trains to Yuma?

It looks like I'm staying in Yuma tonight. Don't worry. Because there's always tomorrow's train to Yuma. To be continued. I love that one. I love that movie. Oh, if you see all of those films, you have a great sense of Yuma.

So... Wait, no we don't, because we never get there. We keep on missing the train to Yuma. Oh, that's right. You're not even there yet. You're just in another station reading about Yuma. We're in like Zisics.

The Last Black Man in San Francisco. That is correct. That was one of my favorite movies of the last year. That's made up. Good job. Thank you.

It's a great movie, right? It's a great movie. I haven't seen it yet. I heard it's really good if your cat dies. It's on Amazon Prime now. Everyone should check that out. Yeah, check it out. Included on with Prime, as they like to say.

People thought it got snubbed for Oscars and it's a good movie so I'm gonna check it out but that means that Adam you won the first game I'm so sorry that means you get to go for it's you know nothing's really happened yet. Because it just means that Adam gets to go first in this next game, and I'll go to Adam, then Arden. This is where I come to you individually with a movie title, and then you're going to tell me.

This game is called Diarrhea Pearlman. I'm going to name a movie, and you're going to tell me if it has Rhea Perlman, diarrhea, or neither. This is a great game. This is a great game. This is a great game. I want this show on television right now. This is what I would watch. How do we get this green lit? I don't know. I don great game. I want this show on television right now.

This is what I would watch. How do we get this green lit today? I could play this for hours. You'd think this show would have a shelf life, but no. He keeps coming up with the shit. Wow. Diarrhea Pearlman. Is there some special movie in which Rhea Pearlman has diarrhea?

No, because then it would be Rhea Pearlman, diarrhea, or both. Got it. Because then that would be fun that there's one where there's both. In my extensive five minutes of research, I did not come across any in which Rhea Pearlman herself has diarrhea.

I'm curious after you did a search for diarrhea in movies, what Amazon then tried to sell you. There's going to be a lot of diarrhea in my future. A lot of diarrhea-based entertainment. So you have a chance to steal, Arden. I hope I do. If Adam doesn't get this, because he's got to choose between three things, then you get to choose between two if he misses. I hope I do. If Adam doesn't get this, because he's got to choose between three things, then you get to choose between two if he misses.

I hope he misses. And if you miss it, Jonas can have it branded to him. You've got this. That's what's fun about it. Anybody can win. They made a motion picture called Palms, P-O-M-S. And it has Rhea Perlman, Diarrhea, or neither, Adam.

I have never heard of a movie called Palms. Is it about uptight British people? Can I ask any questions? I normally don't give clues, but this is the first one. I'll just say that it stars Diane Keaton as a

lady who is still a cheerleader at whatever age Diane Keaton is. Ah, okay. Then if it's that, then clearly if Diane Keaton's in a movie, they always have to humiliate her in some way. So I'm saying diarrhea but not Rhea Perlman. Yeah, those are the options. Either Rhea Perlman. I say diarrhea. Either Rhea Perlman, diarrhea, or, diarrhea. That's what I would have guessed.

Diarrhea. That is incorrect. Arden. I was going to guess diarrhea. Well, we're not going to penalize you for what you would have done. I'm going to go for, you know what? I feel like they want to throw their friend a bone. I feel like Danny DeVito is a powerful guy.

I'm going to say Rhea Perlman. That is correct. Ah! I love it. I got a demi-shimmy for that. Okay, Jonah, you're up next. Good luck. Thank you so much. The motion picture called

Canadian Bacon. Does it have Rhea Perlman, diarrhea, or neither? It has Rhea Perlman. That is correct. Was that with John Candy? I saw that.

Yeah, directed by Michael Moore. His only non-documentary feature. I give up. I'm leaving. That was it? Showbiz? That's it. Quitting the whole deal. I believe in you, Rob. You got this, Rob.

The motion picture is Matilda. It's about a little child, right? I think there's a little kid in that. So I'm going to lean on lean towards diarrhea. Also, is there kid in that. So I'm going to lean on lean towards diarrhea. Also, is there magic in that one? Because the magic

diarrhea. The magic of diarrhea. Incorrect. Adam? Oh, come on, man. Rhea Perlman. That is correct. Yeah. also magical. She and Danny DeVito play

Matilda's parents. Great. In the film. That's nice. If you say so. You know what that film was missing? Diarrhea? Yeah.

That's exactly right. None of these films have had diarrhea in them. Oh, you just wait. Plus, most of them probably have diarrhea we just don't know about. Exactly. Just doesn't figure into the story. Yeah.

The backstory. Very subtle Foley work. Mm-hmm. Arden? Yes, sir. Kid and play in class act. Arden yes sir kid in play in class act diarrhea

incorrect it really would have been a better Jonah neither incorrect poor Drake I guess I don't remember it as well as I thought. I'd like to make a guess.

What is it, Rob? Rhea Perlman. That is correct. That's the way you guys are going to win. That was the movie where Play cut his hair. He didn't have the tower hair anymore. That's why it didn't work. Bad call.

That's why it didn't work. That's his brand. You guys see our brand. Or was it kid? Which one? Did you get any right yet, Adam? I got one right. Okay.

Three. I got three right. Pretty much all of them. I'm going to cut your head. I'm going to cut your head. So Jonah's the only one who hasn't gotten one yet. I got one. We're all tied for one.

Everybody's got one. This is exciting. Aren't you writing down the scores? Yeah. Why are you always doodling over there during the shows? I have to verify with somebody. Flurry of dicks. You're throwing out so much comedy, it's hard for me to...

He's writing down our jokes. Sorry about the comedy, man. It's on Twitter. Stop being so funny. Let's get serious. Then the scores will reflect that. We're back to you, Adam. Okay. Dumb and dumber.

Diarrhea. Obviously. Classic diarrhea. That was a softball. That was a classic diarrhea. You're right about that. Do you remember that? Softball.

When Jeff Daniels was on SNL, there was a sketch where it was supposed to be talking about all of his acting roles, and they just kept on playing the clip of him with diarrhea. Oh, my God. Classic. He's a good sport. Arden?

Yes, sir. The motion picture is called A Million Ways to Die in the West. I don't know this. I'm going to work backwards. It's the West. So you're dehydrated, so you might not have diarrhea,

but maybe you ate something, and you're like, I shouldn't have had that hot dog that was in the sun from the West. So you're dehydrated. So you might not have diarrhea, but maybe you ate something. And you're like, I shouldn't have had that hot dog that was in the sun from the vendor. Was it sold to him on re-enrollment? Or maybe not. I'm going to go diarrhea. Yes, that is correct. I love that movie. This is also a guy who took movies to avoid if you don't want to see diarrhea scenes.

Can I confess that I was prepping for earthquake kits, so I ordered from Amazon a bottle of Imodium because I was like, what if I'm drinking from the LA River and I get diarrhea? I don't want to die. But I didn't realize that I subscribed. And I'm getting like 100 Im hundred ammonia pills a month. And I kept thinking that, I didn't realize,

I kept thinking like, where are they? I have like 800 ammonia pills in my house. Like there's some in my car that I couldn't figure out how to get them to stop coming. Guys, if you get, if the apocalypse comes, you shititting your pants Confine me I was like, that's nice

Welcome to the law Of unintended consequences Yeah, it was Yeah So I got you covered Thanks, Arden Yeah Jonah, diarrhea

Right Always in the apocalypse That movie That was the Seth MacFarlane western where Neil Patrick Harris has diarrhea so bad he has to shit in a hat.

That's funny. I didn't see it. Then you should definitely watch it. Is it funny? It's even funnier to watch him shit in a hat than to talk about it. Is it funny? No, it's disgusting.

Is it like a cowboy hat? I talk about it. Is it funny? No, it's disgusting. How about the same? It's a hat. Is it like a cowboy hat? I don't know. Yeah, I hope it's a 10-gallon hat. It's a full sombrero. It's a sombrero. He just feels like a top hat. Not the pork pie.

Get me the top hat. Get Abraham Lincoln over here. I need diarrhea so much. Great. All right, so, uh, Arden got a point for that one. Jonah. Rhea Perlman, diarrhea or neither in Like Water for Chocolate.

I think Doug wins this one. Yeah. Are you sure you don't mean like water and chocolate? Neither. No. What? I've never seen the movie. It's a good movie.

Rob? Diarrhea. That's a good movie. Rob. Diarrhea. That was great. Yeah. Just picking up my scraps. This is what I do. Like water for chocolate has diarrhea. Yeah, I couldn't believe my luck when I found that out. That's amazing.

That's amazing. How hard did you laugh when you Googled that? Oh, it was fun. That scene was sexy, though. It's the only sexy diarrhea scene. No, not the only one. Was that Juliette Binoche? There's so many.

Alright, it's Adam's turn. The green inferno. Neither. Incorrect. Arden? Okay, I don't know what this movie is, but if I'm picturing an inferno, and I'm picturing green, I'm not picturing me a perlman, I'm picturing an inferno, and I'm picturing green, I'm not picturing me in permanent,

I'm picturing diarrhea. Diarrhea is correct. Thank you. There's more diarrhea in the sequel, The Brown Tornado. Who's in the green inferno? Sitting on that one the whole show. Couldn't wait.

I watch all the shit-nado movies, right, when they come out. Jonah? Midnight Express. Another euphemism for diarrhea, but does it have rheaperlman diarrhea or neither? Rheaperlman, diarrhea, or neither? Rhea Perlman? Incorrect.

Sorry, no, let me finish. Rhea Perlman, diarrhea, or neither? Sorry, I'm just, I have to think. I think out loud. I think out loud. You are winning this game for me. You tee-hop. Rob.

No, that wasn't my answer. That was your answer. What are you talking about? I can't make an audio podcast more interesting? Give it another shot. Reapparelment. Fuck! Loves reapparelment.

Diarrhea or neither? What is it, Rob? Oh, there's so much in that movie. And diarrhea is one of the things. Yeah, there's so much in that movie. And diarrhea is one of the things. Yeah, there's diarrhea in there. With that diarrhea, Rob is the winner of that game. That doesn't make any sense. Because I'm so bad at it. I wasn't tied?

That's exactly why. I didn't tie? No, you were close though. It was three for three? I'm close. He says three for three. That's my guy. I didn't think she got three.

He wants me to do Ford versus Ferrari. So all of us have three points? I did get three. Time for a tiebreaker. How exciting. Sudden death. Rhea Perlman. Sudden death also Rita Perlman. Sudden death, also known as diarrhea. Okay, here's how we're going to settle this tie.

I'm excited about this. How can we settle it? I'm going to name a movie. This is almost like rock, paper, scissors because you have to decide which order you're going to yell them out in. But you could just yell out all three answers. But the first one to say the right one

between you and Rob only. That makes no sense at all. I don't follow it either, but I love it. All right, let's do it. It's exciting. Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids. What are we playing? Bridesmaids.

What are we playing here? What do you take? What the fuck? Oh, diarrhea! Oh, I didn't know we were playing the same game. Classic diarrhea. Classic diarrhea in the bridal shop. Was that the tie breaker?

Yeah. I thought it was a new, oh. You got me again, diarrhea. There we go. That's our corner. Every time. I got some emodium for you. We're good.

800 emodium at our hotel. You're officially a diarrhea expert. I really am. Thank you. You're officially a diarrhea expert. I really am. Thank you. And you get to go first in our game-deciding game. The one that's going to name the winner today is going to happen right now,

and it's called Last Woman Stanton. You know, you've probably played last man Stanton, which is people would have to name an actor or actress, and then we'd all take turns naming movies, and that person's been it. I've decided to make it just last woman Stanton because people always just ask for men names. Thank you.

And I want to get some actresses in the movie. Hey, you know what, Doug? You're really doing God's work here, man. I want to thank you. Because you have made a concerted effort to change the world. Go ahead with what you were saying. I don't know, man.

I don't know. Never would have took Doug for some woke SJW cuck. I think you mean soy boy. I completely forgot to do updates to the football game. 49ers, 108. I'm going to give you one.

Yeah, I tried to give him a good score earlier, but I'm going to give you one I tried to give them a good score earlier but I'm going to give the legit one now holy shit Niners are up 33-7 yeah yeah

so those people that are watching that dull game are really going gonna regret not being here, seeing all this shimmying. That's the old diarrhea shimmy. I've done that. I would have gotten too close to my house, like, the panic of, like, I gotta get there. No one can tell this, but that made it so much more gross that there's, like, wet spots underneath you.

And then, like, three gold foil balls. Chocolate and water. That's what I shit out, is gold balls, chocolate, and water. I shit gold balls of chocolate. I shit gold balls, like... I shit gold balls... You don't fucking shit gold balls. I shit gold balls. You don't fucking shit gold balls.

I shit fucking gold balls. You always say this, and you ruin every Christmas. Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I'm fucking done with you. Fucking close your robe. And by the way, by the way. Close your fucking robe.

I fucking love you, baby. I fucking love you. I fucking love you so much. I fucking love you. When I got that robe, I thought, I can't wait to see you with this wide open. This is the only thing I wear because I don't you, baby. I fucking love you. I fucking love you so much. I fucking love you. When I got that robe, I thought, I can't wait to see you with this wide open front. This is the only thing I wear because I don't have a job.

It's fucking a fact. I fucking live for you. I live for you. I'm going to renew my vows with you. I got to go do some crimes now. Okay, great. Great. We got to do a mass show.

When you're done with your seven shows, we got to do a mass show. I just leave to do crimes. I fucking love you. I've pre-selected an audience member to suggest a name today. Where is Angela Helga? Hey, front row!

That's your name on social media, Angela Helga? Cute sweater. And what's your suggestion for this game today? Great. Cameron Diaz. Great. Perfect suggestion. I'm going to lead with...

Wait, wait, we're not even starting yet I mean, I get that your hair is foreshadowing The answer you're about to give But Just to go easy on all these gents on stage Great Because I feel like Arden's really going to take this thing I'm going to try

Okay, we're going to get a second name Yeah, more than one name. Where is Hello Allison? Oh me, hi. Thanks for being here. Whoopi Goldberg. Great, great, great. Well, it's official we're gonna be here for a while. Well, it's official. We're going to be here for a while. But we're going to do... This is the films of my two favorite... My favorite Hispanic and my favorite Jewish actress.

So each time it comes to you, you could say either a film that's got Cameron in it or a film that's got Whoopi in it. And then if you can't think of one for either of them, you can go to your lifeline, the person whose name tag you chose. So Allison, your name tag

got up here, so... Wait, I have a feeling that the guy with the Cannibal Holocaust poster isn't going to know much about these movies that these two people are in. He's giving a thumbs up. All right. Because they've been in movies made by men,

pretty much everyone that they've been in, so he probably knows those. Look at him. Big Whoopi fan. I can tell. Okay, so we're going to start with you, Arden. And nobody matched the name that I have in my wallet, so I'm going to put the pin in the prize bag,

and better luck next time. Who was in your wallet? It's just in there until somebody gets it right. I love it. It's not Cameron Diaz or Whoopi Goldberg. Great. Arden, go ahead and say it. I'm going to go something about Mary

and I loved when the dick was in the zipper. It was the dick and the balls. It was the beans and franks. It was so funny. So funny. Are you ready? Wait, I think we're going this way. When I was eight years old.

Wait, I'm not ready. What's happening? Did you zip your dick in? Did your balls get stuck in Ben Stiller's zipper? I got my foreskin caught in my zipper. I was super excited

because it was my sister's birthday, so I was zipping up my pants really fast. No! Wait, it was your assistant's birthday? No, my sister's birthday. Oh, okay. That's where I'm saying it. The most exciting time in a boy's life.

I did not faint, but I had to go to the hospital and have the zipper surgically removed. Oh! Wait a minute, you faint when your hand gets cut, but your dick with a zipper attached to it is no problem? I apparently was in the hospital at eight years old screaming, don't cut it off! Poor kid, that's terrible.

That's terrible. So I was circumcised twice. Great. I know, I've been, you know. I welcome everyone. I love it. I'm here for this. I'm here for this. Thank you.

So the order flipped around. So I changed the order every game, so Adam, it is your turn. Okay, so just name a movie that Cameron gives. I'm going to play two. I'm just kind of a spoiler, because I just like to play along, and I didn't know they were going to say those names.

You should have some fun. It's about time. It's your show. I'm going to choose one names. You should have some fun. It's about time. It's your show. I'm going to choose one that was shot here in San Francisco, Sister Act. Very good. I'm going to say, I believe it took place in San Francisco. I don't know how much they shot of it here. Maybe it even didn't take place here.

You covered all the bases. What else about it? Burglar. Was Burglar here? Where'd you... In San Francisco? Okay, you're up, Rob. What happens in Vegas?

Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, I see. He's going to name movies that he's in as well. Thank you. It was a fun time. It was a really...

Charlie's Angels. Love those guys. Sister Act 2! Say the rest. Electric Bungaloo! Alright, I'm going to take it back and I'm going to go with The Mask. Okay. Smart play.

The Counselor. Oh, weird. It's a weird movie. God, these two actresses are so different. They're like night and day. What do you say? These two actresses are so different. They're like night and day. It's a movie. You weren't in that movie. Is it my turn?

He only knows movies he was in. Sex tape, thank you very much. Thank you so much. She is a dear friend. A dear, dear friend. Yo, man, what's Kevin Smith like? He must be stoned all the time, dude. Sister Act 2, Back in the Habit.

My best friend's wedding. Another one shot in San Francisco. Made in America. Oh, okay. Let me see. I'm going to go with The Player. Whoa. Quite a reaction, didn't it?

Diarrhea. Did somebody say ghost? Nobody said that yet. Ghost. reaction, didn't it? Do somebody say ghost? Nobody said that yet. Ghost. Good, good one. The color purple. I was going to do color purple. I would love to see you on Jeopardy.

Oh, Ken, that was going to be my answer. Ken. Oh, Ken. Oh, babe. Like was going to be my answer. Ken. Oh, Ken. Oh, boy. Like Jack A. Harry. Jack A. Harry. Two, two, seven. Okay.

Is it common? Okay. I... Potent potables, Alex. Charlie's Angels 2? What else? What would you say about that title? Charlie's Angels 2? What else would you say about that title? Do you want to go to your lifeline?

Okay, no, wait. Let me just see if I need to back up the bus here first. Just walk around. Take a little walk. Arden. Banana. Shimmy. Shimmy and you'll get the answer. Okay, okay, okay.

Check sideways and show people these heels if they haven't seen them? Holy shit. Are they cool? They're crazy. Are they fishing them? There's fish in them. I've got two fish.

They both died. It was a tribute for the show tonight. Like, they're dogs. I'm kidding. There's no fish. How about For the Boys with Drew Barrymore? Okay. Yeah.

And Whippy Goldberg. They were like best friends and somebody had cancer. I don't think that's what it was called, but it wasn't. It wasn't? No. It wasn't For the Boys? No. What was it? For the Boys was Bette Midler and James Kahn, I think. What was it? Something else.

Okay, okay, okay. Alright, I'm going to go to my lifeline. I'm going to my lifeline. Go to your lifeline. Turn the angels to full throttle. I'm going to my lifeline. Go to your lifeline. Charlie's Angels to Full Throttle. She's going Full Throttle. I'm also going to go... Charlie's Angels to Full Throttle? That's right.

Great. Thank you. Thank you. I should have known that. I should have known that. It's just Charlie's Angels Full Throttle, but there's no two in there. We'll let it slide.

I've got a secret get-out-of-jail-free card, but I'm going to use the one you didn't get right. It's boys on the side. Yeah! That was when Drew Barrymore was in her flashing letterman phase, and she had the cute little hairdo, and I believe she was married to the guy from Hole. Yeah, the bassist from Hole.

Okay. Pre-Tom Green. Yeah. Great. Okay. Oh, my God. My turn. I can't believe Oh my god. My turn. I can't believe I'm gonna lose this.

What the fuck? I mean, they lobbed it to me and I'm blowing it. I'm sorry. It's gonna come back around to you. I know. Or maybe one of us will say something where there's a sequel, or maybe one of us will say, being John Malkovich. Wow.

She was good in that. She was good in that. You're my girl, Arden. It's all good. Thank you. Yeah, you know. good in that. She was good in that. You're my girl, Artie Nitzel. Thank you. I needed that. Rob? What? Oh. I said what happens in Vegas, right?

Yeah. Thank you, guys. Fucking Cameron Diaz was in a lot of movies. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Fucking Cameron Diaz was in a lot of movies. I'm going to go to my... Go to your guy. Jumping Jack Flash. Jumping Jack Flash is a great Cameron Diaz movie. Can I just keep...

Yeah. Jumping Jack Flash is a great one. Yeah, we'll be going over it. Jonah? A Life Less Ordinary. Okay. It's a great movie! Danny Boyle and Weird Singing

and Dancing in Strange Spots, that movie? Yeah, yeah. Ewan McGregor. It's got some claymation in it from Savage Steve Holland. Yeah, it's weird. The Sweetest Thing! Yeah! Lifeline? Have you got one for me? Shrek 2. Shrek 2.

Yeah. Thank you. You just jump over to Shrek 2? I don't acknowledge any other. What about the first one? The what one? It's my turn, right? Shrek the third.

Am I going crazy? There was... Do we just not like movies about people, ogres and donkeys getting to know each other? Rob? It is my turn, isn't it? This is the only way I've gotten points in this whole game. Shrek 1? Or just as it's known, Shrek?

Yeah, we just call it Shrek. As they call it at the Criterion Collection? Jonah? Feeling Minnesota. Yep. The fourth in the Shrek series. She was in a lot of movies that were coming out on VHS

right when Blockbuster was starting to throw away a lot of their tapes. So I had a lot of movies from Dumpster Diving and Feeling Minnesota and A Life Less Ordinary were two of them. Who else was in that? Keanu. Oh. Reeves. I'm listening. Oh, okay. I'm so sorry. Which one? Who was

in the one with Christian Slater with the baboon heart in Minnesota? That's Marissa Tomai. That was Marissa Tomai. Okay, I'm gonna go for Charlie's Angels 3. No. Okay, wait. Backed off you right there.

I'll stop you right there. Okay, wait. If I'm Whoopi. But you were a great player. I'm Whoopi. Wait, I haven't given up yet. I'm not going to win. I'm Whoopi.

I'm like dating Ted Danson. I'm living my best life. Live her life. That's a good idea. Walk in Whoopi's shoes. Tell him that blackface was a great idea. Blackface is a great idea. Does like...

Time's up. Okay, I'm out. Alarms are going off in the audience. Yes. Arden, you did it. Yeah. Is victorious the way you quit? Thank you so much.

In a puddle, and then electrocuting myself. Thank you. Adam? Clara's heart. Oh, shit. What's that? Whoopi Goldberg.

Yeah, and Neil Patrick Harris is in it, and he doesn't shit in a hat. Then I'm not interested. Not interested. I believe that's the box copy. When he shit up the hat when he was hosting the Tonys, it really won me over.

Okay. I'm sorry that you didn't do better at this game, Arden. I just feel like I'm a bad teacher. Yeah. That was really good. I should have gotten that one. Rob, you weren't in Bad Teacher. I should have gotten that one. Rob, you weren't in Bad Teacher? Nope. I know a movie.

Wait. Could I say Bad Teacher and make it count? No. I was saving this one. Movie with both Cameron Diaz and Whoopi Goldberg in it. And it is called... Gleaming the Cube.

Look it up. No. Christian Slater's first movie? Christian Slater, Whoopi Goldberg. No. Look it up, man. You're so confident. I just watched it.

It was originally called A Brother's Justice. Was that before Pump Up the Volume? It was around the same time. It was the same movie, yeah. See, the thing is, there's a Vietnamese mafia and Christian Slater has to skate to beat them. You know, that whole rigamarole.

Alright, we gotta get through this, Jonah. It's your turn. Whoopi Goldberg know, that whole rigamarole. Yeah. All right, we got to get through this, Jonah. It's your turn. Whoopi Goldberg classic, Loaded Weapon 1. Oh. You came to play, player. Adam? Do we get only one lifeline?

Yeah, you can go to him once. Or her, Allison. I got nothing anymore. I'm so sorry, Adam. You're all out? Sorry, Allison. I got nothing anymore. I'm so sorry, Adam. You're all out? Sorry, Allison. I already started a thing where you have to stand up when you're out of the game.

Yeah. Okay, I'm going to say, and it's so funny because I think you would have gotten close to Cameron Diaz if you'd have done what you were trying to do with Whoopi. You know what I mean? Like if you just take Cameron Diaz and then if you were in her shoes. I think I just thought of one.

Oh. Whisper it to Rob. I'm done. He's out. He is? Gleaming the Cube doesn't help. No. Gleaming the Cube. I accepted Gleaming the Cube doesn't have No, Gleaming the Cube I accepted Gleaming the Cube Why? Yeah

What is happening? Because it's Shrek 1 exists Yeah, it's my turn I feel like he's not gonna get another one, Jonah It's my turn Yeah I got Gleaming the Cube

Now this one's my turn Alright So Yeah. I got Gleaming the Cube, now this one's my turn. All right, so... this one is a real B-side. Are they both in it? Are they both in it? This one's called Cameron Diaz's Whoopi Goldberg movie... rated R.

Jonah Ray is our winner! Was 12 dresses? Was 12 dresses her? No, Arden wants to know if 12 dresses was her. It was 27 dresses. That's what she was trying to say. 12 dresses, I was like, that's not a movie.

I felt sorry for her. That was a Heigl. Oh, I thought of one. Reese Witherspoon. Yes. Yes. Yes. Fuck. She was great as Reese. I should have said that. Come get your prizes, Bill. Congratulations. Did you have another one, Bill?

Another movie with Whoopi or Cameron? Two Goldbergs. Two Goldbergs? Give us one. Are those just awards you've won? Star Trek Generations. Oh, yeah. And Ghost.

Wait, Ghost was already said. We said Ghost. I swear to God, Bill, if you gave me Ghost, I would have fucking killed you. You would have fucking humiliated... You would have embarrassed me and fired this guy from the unicorn. I would have fucking killed you. And you fucking humiliate... You would have embarrassed me and fired this guy

from the unicorn. You would have fucking humiliated him up there. You can't humiliate my brother. All right, we got to go. Let's do some plugs. Rob, what should people do? Watch the unicorn on CBS

Wednesday nights? If they taped it on Thursday night. Oh, okay. I just want to watch it I took a stab at it I got the right network whatever night you want to watch anything I know it's on CBS because I see commercials for it

during Price is Right but mostly I think I want to plug Medical Police on Netflix yes Jonah after you're done watching Jonah medical police okay well

after you're done watching medical police watch my cancelled show Mystery Science Theater 3000 on that

same thing same platform same producer too same producer John Stern that's right yeah

and then I'm in a horror movie coming out a horror movie you didn't tell me you were in a horror movie

Jonah sometime in like April or March it'll be called can't say yet oh the horror the horror

it's called oh the horror it's called Shrek I prefer Shrek 2 and 3 I's called Shrek. I prefer Shrek 2 and 3. I forget about Shrek to get all together. And Shrek, what's the subtitle of Shrek 4? Forever After.

Shrek Forever After or something like that? Shrek will never end. Thanks, man. All right, Ed. I have a book coming out this fall that will soon have a link on Amazon called Little Miss Little Compton that's good I'm on

Insatiable on Netflix and I have a podcast on iHeartRadio also called Will You Accept This Rose if you love movies and you love hairless people falling in love you'll love this podcast. Adam Savage. You can always see me building stuff on YouTube on my channel Tested.

My podcast, still untitled, and you can buy my New York Times best-selling book, Every Tool is a Hammer, at any local bookstore. Wow. I forgot to plug my podcast. Jonah Radio, if you play music and you want to send

me your music, Jonah Radio, R-A-Y-D-I-O at gmail.com. We're on the Sklarbro Country Network. Oh, I remembered one, too, Doug. What happens in Vegas? Thank you. Thank you in Vegas? Thank you. Thank you very much.

Appreciate that. Doug Loves Movies is at the Orlando Improv on Sunday, March 1st, and I'm doing stand-up at DNA's Comedy Lab in Santa Cruz, California. Has anybody been to that place? Yeah, cool. And that's on March 7th at 420.

Thank you to Sketchfest. Thank you to Gateway Theater. Thank you to iHeartRadio. Thank you to Sketchfest. Thank you to the Gateway Theater. Thank you to iHeartRadio. Thank you to the audience. And one more time for all of my guests, Rob Corddry, Jonah Ray, Arden Marie, and Adam Savage.

Hey, could you guys, I'm trying to wrap up the show I'm still the show still Guys, I'm right over here trying to finish the show Hey Bill, if you could just sit down for a second Adam, if you could If everyone could just not be standing between me and the audience As always, positive energy! Now it's time to go to work Another talkie Eyes are cold

His viewing prowess Makes him cocky There's no room in his heart for you Cause Doug loves movies