Doug Loves Movies - Rob Huebel, Julian McCullough and Dan Telfer guest

Episode Date: October 28, 2015

Live from the NerdMelt Showroom in Los Angeles, Doug welcomes comedians Rob Huebel, Julian McCullough and Dan Telfer to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, I've said it before and I'll say it again right now. Nathan For You continues its new season on Comedy Central. Nathan Fielder, the comedian who brought you Dump Starbucks and Pig Saves Goat, is back with more outlandish ideas to help real small businesses. This is his most ambitious season yet. You gotta see it to believe it. Nathan For You airs on Comedy Central Thursdays at 10, 9 o'clock Central Time, or anytime on the Comedy Central app.

Enjoy the show! Candy rappers screaming baby sticky seeds With 50-eyes and popcorn kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey, everybody. My name is Doug, and I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. Coming to you from the Nerd Melt showroom in Meltdown Comics in Hollywood, California. It's feeling pretty comfortable tonight.

Yeah. Finally, the weather cooled down, and less people showed up for this. So it's very comfortable in here. It's Tuesday, October 27, 2015. Let me see your name tags, LA. I know we got a few here. Oh, we got some nice ones.

We got Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Josh-tis. Batman versus Superman, Dawn of Josh-tis. And that's original art right there, where it looks like Superman's smoking a J, and then Batman has some Sour Patch Kids on his utility belt. I like that. Good morning, Viet John. I like that that got a laugh.

I saw you on Twitter today, Rheanne and Michael. Yeah. I remember that. It's a little memory test. Well, there's lots of candies hanging off of things. You've got a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Your name's Charlie.

And then you attach some York Peppermint Patties and some Twix bars. That's smart. What'd you attach? Oh, there's a J on yours? Well, I don't know if any of these guys will pick it for that reason, any of my guests today, but you know, I would. If I were choosing a name tag, but I stay out of it.

This Thursday, October 29th, I'm doing standup at the Improv in Tampa, Florida. Bring your name tags, tampons. And they can't possibly be what they're called. I'm a tampon. And Doug Loves Movies tapes on Saturday, October 23rd, 20, 31st, no 20s, 31st, at 420, Halloween, also at the Improv in Ybor City.

And then Doug Loves Movies is back here at Meltdown Comics next Tuesday, November 3rd. And the next Benson movie interruption at CineFamily here in L.A. will be Hancock. The viewers voted last night when we watched, or Monday night. Wait, what's tonight? Tuesday? Yeah. or Monday night. Wait, what's tonight? Tuesday? Yeah, last night we watched Jennifer's Body and everybody voted for Hancock over Hardball. I didn't interrupt either of those. All of my dates and deets can be found at douglosmovies.com.

The prize bag is a big one. I brought a Douglas Movies t-shirt schmovie yeah it's exciting a bottle of a little bottle of Tito's vodka yeah so you got to be over 21 to win the prize And this thing is a, it's got a whole case and a bunch of business inside. And it's a vapor, vaporizer from Silver Surfer, Silver Surfer Vapes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, somebody's going to win that. And, oh, wait, is there more down here?

What is this stuff? Oh, yeah. This is also another weed thing. This is AC Grebes. It's so you can make your own... What's that thing where you take, like, a bucket and you turn it into a pie? Gravity bong.

Gravity bong, that's right. See, the AC Greaves, you can make your own gravity bong with this thing. All of that, oh, and a lighter from Chameleon. All of that is going to be somebody's, plus what my guests brought, and I brought you three terrific guests. Please give a big, warm welcome

to all repeat guests on the program, Dan Telfer, Julian McCullough, and Rob Hubel. Let's begin. Yeah, let's do this. That was so nice. Yay! Right? The crowds here really give a nice, warm welcome to all the guests.

Was that a real standing ovation? That was like a sarcastic. The middle did it. I've been telling listeners for weeks that they should stand up when the guests come out. And then now they're doing it. So good grab on that. Good call. You know how to spot a fake ovation when you see one.

It was more of a fuck you than anything. Yeah. Let's start on that end. It's Rob Hubel, everybody. It's been a minute or two since you've been on the show. It's nice to have you back. Yeah, good to be back. Happy Halloween.

It's coming up, yeah. Yeah. Saturday. Saturday's Halloween. And I was looking at your IMDb page today, because IMDb, and it says that you were in something called Keanu. Yeah, that's a Key and Peele's movie. And it's called Keanu after Keanu Reeves?

No, that's the name of their cat. Their cat is named Keanu, and their cat gets away from them, and then the whole movie is they've got to go get their cat. That really is the movie. Yeah. Do those guys play multiple characters in it? No. Or just themselves? I think they play the same guys. Yeah, I think they just play themselves.

I don't think they play multiple characters. I wasn't there for the whole thing. But yeah, it's like an action comedy. They blow shit up and kill people and stuff like that. It's really cool. You don't get killed, do you? Spoiler alert. I guess you shouldn't say.

Don't say. I don't remember. And what about The House with Will Ferrell ferrell yeah we're shooting that right now uh that's uh amy poehler yeah amy poehler and will ferrell and uh yeah super fun too bad you already have two large handicaps going against you with those yeah good luck good luck getting people in the theater for that one um no it's it super fun. That one is they fuck up. They have a daughter that's going to college. Should I be talking about the plots of these movies? Is this secret?

I don't know. Everybody, keep this under your hats. You already did them, so they can't take it away. They have a daughter that's going to college, can't get into a sorority, so they start one in their own house. No, but close. I just wanted to guess.

Since it's called The House. They fuck up, and they go to Las Vegas, and they gamble away her college fund. So they have to open an illegal casino in Jason Manzoukas' house. Manzoukas is like their crazy friend. And so they open an underground casino in their house. And yeah, it's going to be fucking...

That sounds great. Yeah, it's super funny. I can't wait to see both of those. And what'd you bring for the prize bag? Oh, shit. This is a John Oliver

swag bag that's filled with all sorts of John... I'm not affiliated with the John Oliver show at all. But they sent me this. And then there's, yeah, there's just a bunch of stuff.

So last week with John Oliver backpack. Yeah, there's like T-shirt. T-shirt and a... An umbrella you can fuck yourself with. Like a mug that you can put your dick in. Some, like a Bluetooth speaker. And I think that's it. There's like a handgun in here too.

Also to put your dick in. Yeah. You put your dick in the handgun. Yeah. Yeah. So that's that. That's a great bag of stuff. Yeah.

They just gave you that even though you have nothing to do with the show? Yeah. I just give them out to people. No, I shot a little bit at the, you know, at the very end, you know,

they have those like little bits. Oh, okay. So you were in a bit on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they gave you this. That's a really nice backpack. That is extravagant, yes. Yeah, I thought it was extravagant. All right, well, I'm sorry I went to you first

because this is probably the best thing that could possibly be put in the prize bag. Oh, I also brought a check for $40,000. It's a blank check, so I don't know. Best guest ever. But our second best guest and third best guest are here. Let's hear it for Julian

McCullough, everybody. Thank you. Two major movies he's in yeah what do you uh and you start don't worry you're the second best a backpack full of shit no i i show up in a movie for like five seconds that's my deal like i'm like hey and then i get are you like are you the voice of the cat in the... That would be great. Yeah. No, I'm like the white guy in that movie. What's going on, Julian? Just got canceled for the third time from... Yeah, thank you very much. Well, it's not necessarily canceled,

but it's like they won't even... They forgot even to tell us if we're going to keep going. But I did a... So I've done a couple of shows for E! It's like they won't even, they forgot even to tell us if we're going to keep going. But I did a, so I've done a couple of shows for E because it's like good practice where no one sees it. And I just did a third one and it's over already. But it's good. I've got the episode orders down to four at a time now. So it's like I'm getting even better. Just get it over with quicker?

Yeah, absolutely. So that's going on. And I just, what am I going? Oh, I don't know. I have a two-year-old and it's Halloween, so I'm looking forward to that on a personal level. Is that okay to talk about? Sure.

She's going to be Katy Perry from the Roar video, which is super inappropriate. But if your kid's got the tits for it, why not? she's gonna be Katy Perry from the Roar video, which is super inappropriate. But if your kid's got the tits for it, why not? I mean... She's blessed. She's been blessed. We always tell people we had twins. Julian. And then it's just the one little daughter with big tits.

What did you bring for the prize bag? I brought the soundtrack to Mermaids. Okay. That's better than a John Oliver backpack. Actually, that's better than a John Oliver backpack. Actually, that's way better. You might not think this is that cool, but this is absolutely out of print. You can't get this CD anymore.

Yeah, and you can't get it in a box that's been stomped on like that one. You can't get it in a broken jewel case. I did test it in my car to make sure it doesn't skip on any track. Oh, you listened to the whole thing. I listened to the whole thing. I listened to the whole thing. Even the shoop shoop song?

Yeah. And I can't wait to share it with you guys. Also, you're going to want to dance when you put this thing on, so I brought a five-hour energy just to get your energy up. Because who doesn't want to drink a panic attack? That's a great combination of prizes. You really thought somebody's evening through. I did.

Somebody's sad, sad night alone. You will hyper cry by yourself after drinking that five-hour energy. I like to think of it, those are the things you didn't want in your house after taking your daughter dressed as Katy Perry. When I get home and she goes to bed, I do not want to be listening to this. This isn't funny.

I just have genuine affection for both of those products. So it means something. But thank you, Dan, for trying to cut me off at the knees. Let's hear it for our third best guest, Dan Telfer, everybody. DT. let's hear it for our third best guest dan telfer everybody dt what do you got for the bag uh let's get right to it let's not even pretend let's just get right to it uh we'll talk about your my new cd ocean of panic is is is my present here you go look at that and you can have some buttons with dinosaurs and my face on it yes please and then one of my old business cards from when i was a writer at the onion don't call the number i was

let go two years ago don't that might be fun to go office isn't at that address anymore so why do we have this it was in my dresser so i didn't want it in my house anymore and i thought it would be a funny thing for someone to have like oh I knew Dan Telford. No you did not know me. You can pretend we went to a business luncheon together. Okay. And have you been to the movies lately Dan? Mostly just to see kids movies because I have two of those. But I did finally see John Wick on

fucking HBO. Fuck yeah. That's a good shit. He's got a sequel. There's gonna be a sequel. Yep. John Wick 2. Don't set him off again. Wait, what was the commons in that, right? Commons in the new one. He's the bad guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the hero

in the new one is the puppy. He's back from the dead. Really? I feel like it should have been a cat. That's right. No one cares if you kill a cat, though. They're already independent. Why would you go on a murder spree because somebody killed your cat You'd be like That piece of shit deserved it

I don't know But you guys Should stop talking shit about Key and Peele's new movie right now Because that's the plot of that movie I don't know They just took the John Wick script And changed it to a cat

What if it was a cat? What if he's just missing? Presumed dead, but just missing. John Wick is a great movie and I feel like, did people see that movie? Yeah, they're making a sequel so enough people have seen it. I don't know if enough people appreciate it.

It wasn't as big of a hit as it should have been, for sure. No, it was a huge surprise because I don't think anybody thought Keanu was going to go make another action movie that was badass, but he totally fucking did. did yeah it was fun came out last october but the problem that movie though if i loved it but if you just pull one thread in that movie the whole thing falls apart it's just him killing without any real problems for two hours like there's no real obstacles he's like i'm definitely going to be like batting a thousand for like this entire scene like he literally like he's like killed 70 people and going to be batting 1,000 for this entire scene.

He's killed 70 people. And you're like, how many assassins are there in this world? He's like, well, I just killed an assassin that's the 356th best in the country. I just killed the assassin who's the 157th best in the country, just fucking plowing through him. I'd like to see his character play whack-a-mole. I bet you he'd be pretty good at it. Because he's good at taking on a lot of foes from different directions all at the same time be like too many pillars around the whack-a-mole game he's funny he kept shooting them

that would be the but my favorite is when you'll just grab a guy and just put the gun right in his face and just shoot him in the face like he doesn't take any chances with no I'm gonna try to try to shoot this guy in the leg and slow him down. He's just like right to the face. I like when he does shoot him in the leg and he's like, fuck, and he spends five minutes working his way towards the guy just so he can shoot him in the face.

Yeah, you got to shoot him in the face. Is that a total OCD thing? Like, oh, fuck. Here we go. Got to be a completionist with my murders. Got to finish him off proper. What about you, Julian? Have you, I guess with your two-year-old, you seen all the kids things uh not so much because she's so young

she's like still afraid when the when the lights go down so i don't bring her to actual movies but i was on the road and i saw rock the casbah with uh bill murray and um you know some other people. Zoe Deschanel is in there. And Banks. Kate Hudson. And Kate Hudson. And that was weird. It was so weird. Without having seen it, it feels to me like they make Bill Murray work too hard to try to make it fun. He definitely, I've never seen him work that hard in a long time.

It's strenuous yeah and also it's one of those movies where you're you're like 25 30 minutes in and you have to reread the summary because like I could have sworn this fucking movie was about something else and then it becomes about that thing so it like takes it's at the song by the clash it doesn't know yeah it's like that like the two hours movie and then and then in the movie starts it's very bizarre and and the editing is it's just weird it's so i walked out later in that movie than i've ever walked out of a movie i was like i think there was like 20 minutes left and i was like i'm done you gave up yeah yeah wow then you get home and find out they canceled the brink. Can there be no Middle Eastern comedies that are huge successes?

Oh, and I saw Jobs. I saw Jobs the other night. Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs. You didn't see the Ashton Kutcher version. No. Oh, right. Which was just Jobs.

Right. How was it? Because it's work to sit through it. It was great. It felt like a play. It does feel like a play a little bit. You're right. Yeah.

I liked it a lot, though. Really good acting. Obviously the script is real punchy. I don't know how many of those witty things any of those people really said. Bunch of nerds. They didn't say fucking anything witty. Right. They're just like, I'm trying to make a computer, but this is your

daughter. Computer! Daughter! I would love if they do one more Steve Jobs jobs movie it should just be like him and steve wozniak arguing about ip addresses for two hours well he and woz get into it a little bit but uh you know woz is uh seth rogan in the movie and it's pretty uh pretty good a lot of pretty good choice pretty good choice who to play that guy they have a they have a scene in that movie where you're like there's no way this happened this way. They have a public argument that's so public

and intensely personal. You're like, Guns N' Roses never had a fucking argument like that. You know what I mean? Well, how are you going to yell at a guy with a chicken bucket on his head? I do not acknowledge that addition of Guns and Roses, Doug. I don't know what you're talking about. But you know what I mean.

It's just so unrealistic. But anyway, it was great. Does Fassbender show his dick in this movie? No. No, he's just a huge dick in the movie. Yeah. The whole time. Luckily, Steve Jobs' actual wardrobe in real life

hides dick so well. He wears dad jeans like crazy, so you can't really tell. But I was looking. Because you want to know what Steve Jobs would look like if he also had a huge dong. How do we know that Fassbender has a big dick? There was that movie he did.

So many Google searches. Oh, really? My wife talks about it a lot. Shame, I think it was called. Okay. I got to watch that. He takes it out just to take a pee. It's not even a sex scene. And you just see his giant hog.

It's his flaccid dick? Yeah. He's just like, fuck you. And then... This is fucking... I'm not even trying. He like swirls it around in the bowl like it's a cocktail straw. He like knocks a boom mic out of the shot with it.

Have you seen anything lately, Rob? Yeah, I've seen a bunch. I saw, well, I was telling these guys, have you seen Good Night, Mommy? That is the creepiest fucking movie. Yeah, that was a fucking, it was disturbo, but really good. It's like Fight Club for kids. Yeah, it was good. I really liked it, though.

I mean, I don't know if I would see it again or tell anyone to see no reason to watch it twice which I actually did good why I've sat through it a second time because I thought it was something else and by the time a lot of movies with twin boys running around no I didn't like just from the title I just I just didn't recognize the title. Twice? Oh, Goodnight Mommy sounds good. Like, a long time had gone by between when I saw it at a film festival and when I was at a multiplex.

And I was like, oh, Goodnight Mommy. I haven't seen that. What's that about? And then a few minutes into it, I was like, oh, this is that creepy twins movie I already saw. I thought you were just making a joke about, like, you're in a hotel room looking at the porn. You're like, Goodnight Mommy. All right, here we go. No, but I watched it again.

And once I was a few minutes into it, I was like, oh, watch this whole thing again. But it's creepy as hell. Yeah, it's good though. I saw that. Really disturbing. I saw, I just saw the Martian. I thought that was, you know, it's good. Yeah, it's good acting, but it's like, come on.

Outer space is hard, whoa! It seemed like, it's good. Yeah, it's good acting, but it's like, come on. Outer space is hard. Whoa! It seemed like, it seemed sort of... Is it suspenseful? Yeah. To me, it seemed like gravity, right? Am I wrong?

But with an hour longer? Yeah, but it is, I mean, you don't, it was good. It was good. I just, I don't really care. It's like gravity if you saw more of the people

down on the ground going, what's gonna to happen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, it had to be longer. So it's Apollo 13, essentially. Yeah. But it was good. It was really good, actually.

And then I saw, what else? Oh, Sicario. Sicario I thought was awesome. Yeah, I thought that was really good. Sicario is pretty intense. Yeah. I don't know what I was expecting, but that wasn't what I was expecting. You thought it was going to be like Let's Be Cops?

Yes. Yes. I thought there'd be be like Let's Be Cops? Yes. Yes, I thought there'd be more pratfalls in Juarez. I thought, like I just went into it so psyched about Emily Blunt as an action star because of Edge of Tomorrow, Live, Die, Repeat. And I, so in the movie, she's sort of like, she's sort of the character that's sort of confused and doesn't, isn't really.

She's not an action star really in that. In this, no. But she's got moments where she's sort of the character that's sort of confused and doesn't isn't really she's not an action star really in that in this no but she's but she's got she's got moments where she's a badass she's awesome but you know she'll do it she'll do it in action another action movie so I like Sicario I like that you called the other movie live die repeat instead of the

original I called it both things he called it the whole thing yeah what do you call it Edge of Tomorrow you say the whole thing I just throw that did he call it? Edge of Tomorrow. Edge of Tomorrow. Oh, you say the whole thing. I just throw that in there because someone else is going to say it if I don't. So I just get it over with. And then you still got mad. Yeah.

He went to all that trouble. You're the perfect Twitter user. Even now thinking about it, I'm still mad. What about scary movies because of the Halloween season? It's a good time to recommend them. I mean, Goodnight Mommy would be a good rec for a scary movie. Why aren't there any good scary movies out this year? Like, what came Paranormal?

That's what I'm asking. I'm trying to figure out. There's The Visit. There's a new Paranormal activity. The Visit. Don't fucking get me started on The Visit. I saw that shit. I was fucking furious.

Why? Why? Because it was just so good? Oh, I get so mad when things are good. I did not like that movie. I do not like... Did it turn into a gingerbread house at the end? That's all anyone wants to know.

I don't like kids that rap. I'll say that. Oh, no! Yep. I'll say that. The kids that rap? There's rapping ass kids in that movie? One of those fucking kids raps to his cell phone.

Not once, not twice, but like fucking five times. Whoa. For like a long time. Like, yo, I'm the kid from the movie That's Cool. And I was like, oh, I can't wait for this kid to die. Can I ruin one part of the movie? Is anyone, are you not going to see it? If you haven't seen it by now.

Well, I would say the kid rapping ruins the movie, so I wouldn't. The best part. I'm like, Shamalian releasing a movie The rapping kid makes me want to see it. I wouldn't even.

The whole thing looked rather old fashioned. I had no idea. There is, there is a, there is like a chunk of that movie that is sort of scary.

I was like, all right, all right, this is good. This is good. But then it's like not good. But, but there is a part

where that fucking kid, he's like a germaphobe. This is totally ruining this one part, but he's a germaphobe, right? And at one point he sees the old man, like the grandfather, going out to this barn. And he's like, what's going on out there? And he goes in the barn.

It turns out the grandfather is like going a little bit senile. And the grandfather, that's where he puts his shitty diapers in this like the barn. It turns out the grandfather is going a little bit senile. The grandfather, that's where he puts his shitty diapers in this old barn. You go in there and there's just a stack of fucking a million soiled old man diapers. The kid's all freaked out. Then at the end of the movie, the old man takes off his diaper

and fucking smoshes it in the kid's face. Whoa! Yeah. I take back what I said. Go see it. And that kid grew up to be Biff Tannen. And that's why he hates having shit on his face.

Oh, that sounds disgusting. Was he like, this is so not dope. Did you know going into it the... Rob, did you know going into it? Rob, did you know that it was M. Night Shyamalan when you saw it? Buddy, I fell for the old trick. I fell for the old he's back, he's better than ever. You know, I bought it and I went in hard.

He's better than ever. Or how about he's done something good. Yeah. Finally. I was with at the disco. He's better than ever. Or how about, he's done something good. Yeah. Finally. I was with you, Julian. Like, I almost did that thing of like walking out like with four minutes left, you know? You would have missed that diaper scene. I know.

I know. That's the big twist is the diaper in the face. It's not for your butt. It's for your face. We've come a long way since seeing dead people. I don't mean to hijack this thing but i will say that the worst spoiler ever happened to me for six cents uh i saw it in the theater like day two in new york city oh and someone ruined it that donnie walberg was in it yeah

because most people don't know that even after watching the whole thing i know but no somebody was it was a pack theater and and it was like when cell phones were still kind of new and a guy's cell phone rang halfway through the movie it's the quietest movie ever all these people are like i can't believe they're like sighing out loud they can't believe and the guy after like the fourth ring instead of he answers it and he goes yo oh nothing just at that uh six cents movie shut the fuck up john fuck up. Bruce Willis dead the whole time? In the theater. In the theater.

And a sold out theater went like, no fucking way. Did he leave the theater alive? No, because it was like 98% white people. He was black and everybody was like, well, maybe it's not true. Maybe because they didn't want to have to fight the guy. That's the best movie story ever.

That would seem pretty true right away because you'd start going, oh, yeah, that's why he can't get the paper towel dispenser to work in the bathroom. The whole atmosphere after that was just like, this can't be true. Like, there's no way this is what's going on. Like, you just feel everyone fighting the fucking movie after that. It was pretty disappointing. It wasn't the visit disappointing. The fucking visit, man. What about, do you have a scary movie you can recommend, Julian,

for this Halloween season? I will say very quickly that whenever somebody says there's no good scary movies i never relate because i can't to this day can't watch a scary movie like i get so scared in every scary movie that i'm like they're all amazing so i i can't do it but the movie that i went to that i actually had to be restrained from leaving was the strangers which is old but it scared the shit out of me. The home invasion, Liv Tyler one. Right, where they have the masks of the different animals.

But new movies, I haven't seen a new scary movie. Oh, no. I haven't seen a new scary movie in a while. But that one's pretty, I think that's legitimately scary. Yeah, it's a good one. I mean, I can never tell because I'm scared by everything. Oculus didn't scare me at all. I'm not scared by anything. Oculus? Yeah, it's a bad mirror.

You're scared by anything and Oculus didn't scare you? No, I thought Oculus was really like, what the fuck? This is so bad. It was the only scary movie that didn't scare me, I think. In your entire life? Probably, yeah. It's pretty stupid. I saw, I think it was a Fat Boys video with Freddy Krueger in it.

Is that the right? And that scared you? Just with the sound off, I saw it and somebody was playing it. And every time Freddy showed up, I was still like, ah. I still couldn't deal with it. Have you made it through Beetlejuice? Beetlejuice, no. As long as there's comedy, I can make it.

OK. Wait, Freddy Krueger's got comedy. Yeah, but it does not outweigh how mean he is to those kids and their dreams. He is an undead child molester. I mean, to this day, I haven't seen a whole Freddy Krueger movie because there's no fucking way. All right, well. Did he kill the fat boys in that video? No, they got away.

Wait, one of them got away. I don't know if the other two got away. fat boys in that video? No, they got... Wait, one of them got away. I don't know if the other two got away. Seems like between being fat... Yeah, diabetes killed the fat boys in that video. They're not going to be able to run

even in their dreams. Dan, do you have one that you can recommend? I haven't seen one that I thought was genuinely scary in a while. Go see Audition, you guys recommend? I haven't seen one that I thought was genuinely scary in a while go see Audition you guys if you haven't seen it it's some scary fucking shit that's fucked up that movie right wait what's Audition again?

what is that again? oh it's scary you weren't scared during the audition but you get all queasy during a fucking fat boys video I mean everybody's different I'm learning that now auditioned, but you get all queasy during a fucking Fat Boys video. I mean, everybody's different.

I'm learning that now. I think I've just had ex-girlfriends like that girl, so I was just like, ah, that's how it goes. I know where this is going. It's like just a bad date movie to you. Oh man, audition. My least favorite romantic comedy. Well, now's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin! Oh man, audition, my least favorite romantic comedy.

Well, now's the part of the show where I say, let the games begin! Gentlemen, pick your name tags. Oh, I really need a back up. Show us your name tags. Yeah, go grab the one you wanna play for and bring it back to your seat with you. Dan's going deep.

That's pretty good. I'm taking this because there's drugs attached to it. Oh, okay. That worked. It worked. Good job. It made me smile right away, that pun. Good morning, Viet John.

John got me. Good morning, Viet John. All right. I like that. Good choice. Good choice. Watch your step, guys. I like that. Good choice, good choice. Watch your step, guys. I'm sorry.

Why are there just water bottles on the ground? They all got mixed up and we stopped carrying. Okay. Yeah. All right. Do we reveal them? Let's start with Dan. Don't read the shit on the back.

I won't, I won't. But Dan, who are you playing for? Aaliyah. She's got aliens. This time it's war. And looks like she fucking put you in there with her. Yeah, I'm in there holding... That's her.

Aliens scared the shit out of me. I preferred Ailee in the original myself. Well, it's more of a horror movie. What do you mean, guys with my voice? What about me is... I prefer the original. No, what about me is different nothing um no no i uh yeah you're right no the first one is better but they both scared well it's more of a

horror movie than the second second was more of an action movie right right right and i i liked them both and uh good job julian uh i got good morning via john i'm assuming your name is john and not like mourn uh there's like a flying unicorn with my face on it yeah and he's he spent uh decent money don't read the back uh on on foam core which was a nice yeah that's good and you're a blunt unicorn too i think it's not any old unicorn yeah and, I don't understand the centaurs and shit. Who's that supposed to be? That's him, I think. That's him.

But I do like that he got the old-timey microphone that Robin Williams uses in Good Morning Vietnam, but then the picture of his face using it is nothing like Robin Williams. It's more like Jeff Buckley or Michael Bublé singing into one of those old-timey... Yeah, all the work he put into this, and it's still like a 2004 MySpace profile picture.

So I guess just like Vietnam, even if he wins, he really loses, because he looks silly. Okay, I'm done. Rob. This is, you know loses because he looks silly. Okay, I'm done. Rob. This is, you know, Rhianna Michael. So, yeah, I'm playing for Ree. And he taped a huge fat joint to this.

And, you know, your head is here, Doug. Yeah, my head's here. And it says up in the corner, it says, Hey, Doug, let's smoke after the show. I have really good weed. As illustrated by this totally illegal joint.

And then at the very bottom, the tagline to the movie, Rihanna, Michael, it says, It will smoke you to pieces. How long did that... That took a while right? No it did. I mean it's no good morning via

John but it's pretty good. It's great. Good work. And this is when did you you took that picture yourself or a friend took it? It totally looks like you. Great. And where'd you get that picture?

It's not like John's picture. Google? Who's that guy? Was this the first picture that came up? It's what? Him holding a soap bar, like in Fight Club. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know what it is.

That's cool. Yeah, it's from one of my album covers, yeah. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Well. Yeah, Potty Mouth is the name of that album. And I'm holding a bar of soap that has the title carved into it, like Fight Club.

I love movies, you guys. And let's start with a game that none of you guys have played, I don't think. It's called Cable Billing, a.k.a. Comcast Away. And basically, when you're like watching looking for movies on cable they'll list like two names IMDB similar like this is a lot of a lot of places where they'll list names that are like in the movie but they they're not the stars by any stretch sometimes you know and so I like to write these down when I come across a good one and I'm gonna name two actors and you tell me what movie according to my cable

company stars these two actors who is your cable company it's a Time Warner okay yeah yeah and they're a really good company they've got a lot of money, that's for sure. Some of it mine. And they listed a movie as starring David Strathairn and Patricia Clarkson. Yeah, what movie stars David Strathairn and Patricia Clarkson? I have no idea. I'm trying to think of the movie Patricia Clarkson was in.

She's been in a few. You'd be surprised. Fuck you, Patricia Clarkson. I have no idea. I'm trying to think of the movie Patricia Clarkson was in. She's been in a few. You'd be surprised. Fuck you, Patricia Clarkson. You just got slammed. You delight. You totally nice person. She seems very sweet. And the movie was Lincoln.

She was in front of me at the airport security when I was leaving London the last time I visited there. And she had a dog. I take it back. She sounds delightful. The dog did not seem to be bothered by me or my bags. So Patricia Clarkson does not have a drug dog. It's just a regular one. Any idea, you guys? This is a tough one. It's just a regular one. Any idea, you guys?

This is a tough one. Do we just say it? Or do we do like, I can name it in how? No, just guess. Just if you have a guess, just throw it out there. I can just remember

Lincoln and Alphas, the television show. That's all I can remember for David's birthday. Neither one of those are right. Jumanji. Did I get it? And Julian,

you don't have to hold that name tag the whole time. Oh, okay. I just... Oh, I'll take that advice. Yeah, none of you do. Just throw it down. No year, nothing? This is it?

I'll give you a clue. If somebody will just guess something. I said Jumanji. Just try. I said Lincoln. This is how good we are. All right. Jumanji. Just try. I said Lincoln. This is how good we are. All right. Jumanji's not correct.

Fuck. Oh, tin cup. Oh, really? Yeah. No. Ah! All right, I'm going to give you two clues. After the first clue, you guys can do a round of guessing again if you want.

This movie is in black and white. Oh, the man who wasn't there. No. Good night and good luck. That's right. Son of a bitch. They never show the man who wasn't there on cable. What was I thinking?

Arguably starring George Clooney, of course. Yeah. And a few other people. But David Strathairn got the title line. Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, Strathairn is probably good, but, you know, it's just weird to leave out Clooney in that particular movie. It's true.

Yeah. Sorry, Michael, I fucked that up for us. You don't have to apologize to him every time. I'm going to. Because... That doesn't go towards the prizes, right? Well, you're a step in that direction, Dan, because you get to go first in the next game. A little game we call,

Whose Tagline Is It Anyway? Yeah, it's funny. Rob mentioned taglines earlier. Basically, you guys, I'm going to read you a tagline from a motion picture, and then you have to guess what movie it's from. And we'll start with Dan. If Dan can't come up with the answer,

then Julian gets a crack at it, and then Rob, et cetera. Dan? Douglas. You really seem like you're getting in position for this. I care so much about everything, Doug. What movie, this is just for Dan, you guys. Oh, my God.

What movie had the tagline, have you ever made a really big mistake? Have you ever made a really big mistake? I think I know what this is. Well, it's not your turn yet, Rob. Michael, get excited. The fly. Rob, he knows, Dan.

Is it the fly? Yeah, he probably shouldn't have put those two things in there. Probably shouldn't have put himself and a fly in that machine. Julian? I'm going to say What's the Worst That Could Happen? Oh, with Danny DeVito and Martin Lawrence?

Nope. You're really fucking with Julian. Rob? Schindler's List? No, I'm just kidding. I'm joking. St I'm just joking. I'm joking. I'm joking about that.

Sticking it to the Jews. It's a joke. You can just, you know, take that, Jews. I think, I wore this pretty pink dress. What's the worst that could happen?

Is it that, is it, is it click? Click? Is that, or what's the is it, is it Click? Click? Is that, or what's the one with the, what's that? Adam Slasler, remote control movie. Remote control? Yeah, Click, yeah.

Christopher Walken, Click? I pushed a weird button. Isn't that what it is? You think he made a really big mistake in that movie? I thought the whole movie was like, oh, I fucked up. I made a mistake. I got to rewind. Michael, don't get excited.

No, the movie's called Norbit. Featuring Rob Hubel. Are you being serious? Yeah. Is that really the answer, or is that your joke answer? That's the real answer. Shut the fuck up. Norbit's Rob Hubel.

I think I'm in that movie for four seconds, but I was talking about... Very memorable four seconds. Very memorable. I was saying backstage that it's the only time I've ever gotten any kind of swag from any show that I could wear because their swag was just a black hoodie with a big black afro on it. It didn't even say Norbit. There was no promotional value to it. That's why the movie flopped.

They thought everyone would recognize Norbit's hair. Yeah, I can't believe that fucking I didn't get that. Yeah, have you ever made a really big mistake? I mean, I've seen Norbit and I don't really know why that would be the tagline. Yeah, I made the mistake of being in that movie. I mean, Norbit does marry that horrible

woman that's played also by Eddie Murphy. By Norbit. Yeah, I guess that's the mistake. Alright, well let's try another. Let's go through and see if you guys can get this next one. We'll start with Dan again. Are you mad at me that I didn't get that, Doug? Mad at you? Yeah.

No, it's gold when the people don't recognize their own movies. You seem like you're mad at me. The big mistake I made was I thought of Schindler's List before you did and didn't say it. Yeah, you wanted to say that for sure. I did. God damn it. It turns out Schindler's List is a pretty funny answer to almost any tagline.

So Dan, here's the next one for you. Yes, sir. Schindler's List. I don't know what's happening. Schindler's List, it will smoke you to pieces. pieces. I mean, seriously, terrible loss.

Dan. Doug. What movie has the tagline, Are you man enough to say it? Oh, I know this one. Are you man enough to say it? Oh I know this one You better shut the fuck up Are you man enough to say it? Are you man enough to say it? Man I can't believe I know something

Are you man enough Oh no I don't want him to get it I don't want him to get it Schindler's List What would Jesus be man enough to do? god are you man enough to say it are you mad because i'm taking a second to think about it no no no no no take a moment i'm not a man so that makes this harder um oh god if i only had genitals um what about i don't fucking know um i know but I don't fucking know. I know, but I don't know.

I'm going to be real mad when I hear this one. Liar, liar. I don't know. That's not a terrible guess. What is it, Julian? I love you, man. That's correct. Damn it.

Doug. Damn it. Is this... This is all just a fuck you to me? Are you in that? Oh, you're in I Love You, Man? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Are you fucking with me?

You're really in that? Oh, it's great, because he didn't know either. Oh. This is literally like my nightmare. I'm even wondering if this is real. One of the answers is going to be inconsiderate cell phone man. That's going to be one of the answers. Is this the nightmare?

And this next game is going to be called Who Can Update Rob Hubel's IMDb Page First? Everyone pull out your phones. Who's got a pro account? Yeah, I'm briefly in that movie. All right, here's the next one, Rob. Descendants. This one is for you.

Super bad, super dad. That's the tagline. Super bad, super dad. Why are you saying it like a question mark like that? I'm sorry, let me rephrase that. Yeah, say it the right way. Super bad, super dad. He said it out of order that time.

Well, that just gives it away when you say it like that. Super bad, super dad. I would say it more like super bad, super dad. That's more helpful. What movie is it? Fucking Good Night Mommy. There's no daddy in that one.

Alright, Dan. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. You just made a guess. I made a joke guess. Oh, that was a joke guess? Wait, is it a movie? Can I ask a question about the game? Mm-mm.

Can I ask a question about why I can't ask a question about the game? Why can't I ask a question about the game? Does it have to be a movie that's already come out? No, some of these are from 10 years from now. No, I'm saying is it one that's Is it one that's coming out like this Christmas?

I'm not going to say. These are all from Deadline Hollywood. It could be, but it's probably not. Were you in Superbad? If you were in Superbad, this is really easy. No. I'm going to say. These are all from Deadlock Hollywood. It could be, but it's probably that. Were you in Superbad? If you were in Superbad, this is really easy. No. I'm going to say Daddy's Home. Is that a thing, really? It's a movie coming out that sounds exactly like that.

Superbad, Superdad? Yeah. Okay. Dan? Was it Daddy Daycare? No. Good guess, though. Julian?

Ghost Dad? He blew it. He died. Yeah. That's not it. Okay. Yes. Incorrect.

No, that's another movie that Rob is in called Despicable Me. Oh! I watch that one all the time. I watched that one recently. Doug, stop doing this. My reality is like shattering. Are you a minion? I would love to be a minion.

That's where the money's at. No, again, I have like two words in that movie. What character? He's like an anchorman. He's like a TV anchorman. I'm all exposition. Like they cut to me and I'm like, the moon has exploded.

Oh, yeah. exploded. Oh, yeah. The noise that the audience just made pretty much summarizes my life. My life. My life. My life is TSA agents going, oh, yeah.

Julian gets to go first On this next one Bad behavior Bad attitude Real hero Bad teacher Another great guess

You guys are great at guessing Guessing the right answer? Nope Great at being wrong Rob Wait give me the tagline again Guessing the right answer? Nope. Great at being wrong. Rob? Wait, give me the tagline again. Bad behavior, bad attitude, real hero.

Bad behavior, bad attitude, real hero. Another movie that I'm hearing. You're definitely in it. Can I give you a guess? You shut your goddamn mouth in the audience. Guys, you should know that I'm terrible at this game. It's drive. Nothing? I don't have a guess.

That's okay. Dan? Is it Bad Santa a guess. That's okay. Dan? Is it Bad Santa? No. Don't you make a hocking noise at me. I don't think he really becomes a hero at all. He's so gross. Can you believe it?

I want to be him, says audience. St. Vincent? Oh. Also doesn't really become a hero, but not a terrible guess. This is a movie called Hancock with Will Smith. Are you in that? I'm not in that. He's not in it.

You can't do three that I'm in and one that I'm not in. I'm going to be interrupting it on November 4th over at CineFamily. You guys didn't know that. Did you ever read the first draft of that movie? It's amazing. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's that whole scene where he jerks off.

Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Yeah, it's fucked up. There's a huge, it's like. I'm so glad that, sorry, keep going. Well, most of the movie was about, look at this superhero jerk off and blow a hole in his ceiling. Like that was like 90% of the movie.

And then they just had to like make it family friendly. And it was called Hancock? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh God, the first draft, you had to make it family friendly. And it was called Hancock? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God. The first draft, you have to read it. It is the most epically weird first draft I've ever seen. Wow. I was so stressed out that these were all going to be movies

that I had shown up in, Doug. Thank you that that wasn't one. Oh, yeah. I changed it up because I'm going to interrupt Hancock over at CineFamily on November 4th. But now let's... Who left off? Who was the last guest? I was the last official.

We'll start with Julian. What movie had the tagline, The Fockers Are Back and Funnier Than Ever? Weren't there three, though? Yes. Which film had the tagline, The Fockers Are Back and Funnier Than Ever? I'm not getting this one. Yeah, you're going to have to guess, right? Yes, which film had the tagline, the Fockers are back and funnier than ever? Well, that could be...

I'm not getting this one. Yeah, you're going to have to guess, right? 50% chance. Yeah, you can do it. And Rob was in all three, right? You know, why would I answer your questions if I don't answer Rob's questions? That's true.

Wait, I don't even remember... You don't even know what they're called. Wait I don't even remember You don't even know what they're called I know It's Meet the and then

Don't Are you fucking kidding me? I don't remember That's his guess That's his guess Make it his guess Doug Make it his guess I don't have

I don't think he's gonna get it even if that's not his guess Christmas with the Fockers Is that Is that one? Oh he blew it Let's just go that's not his guess. Christmas with the Fockers? Is that one? Let's just go to Rob. What's it called, Rob? Little Fockers. That's correct. Sorry, John.

What a relief. Feels so good. Yeah, meet the Fockers and then Little Fockers. What was the third one? Little Fockers. I think Are You Fucking Kidding Me was going to be the name of it for real. It was going to be something like that. Oh, that's right.

The first one wasn't even... They were a spin-off. I forgot. Okay, sorry. Yeah, the fourth one's called Shut the Fuck Up. Why are we still fucking doing this? Shut your fucking mouth. All right, let's do one more because I got one more written down, so it's fun.

And we'll start with you again, Dan. Yes, boss. Which movie had the tagline, it's too late to pull out now? Whoa. Oh. It's too late to pull out now. Fudge.

Schindler's List isn't as funny as it should be for this one. Right? It's more of a World War II joke than it is a Holocaust joke. Dr. Sperm. I have no idea. I have not answered this time.

Julian? My joke guess is human centipede. My real answer is knocked up. Not bad. Damn it. That's a good one. But not right. Rob, take us home.

The Vince Vaughn movie where it's the something man, like he gave a bunch of sperm, and then all of his kids come back, and they're like, hey, you're my dad. And he's like, that's right, I am your dad. Delivery man. Delivery man? That's what that was called.

Delivery man? No. What? You were in Delivery Man? No, I was not. Oh, okay. Because you were in What to Expect? No, I was not. Oh, okay. Because you were in What to Expect When You're Expecting. This is just like, I will be dead tomorrow.

Do you really not know any of the taglines of the movies you're in? I remember how we were backstage and we were talking about any of the taglines of the movies you're in? Remember how we were backstage and we were talking about how Harrison Ford doesn't see the movies that he's in? I'm in some shitty movies. Do you think that I saw What to Expect when you're expecting? I mean, no.

I'd watch it if I was in it, I guess. Also, isn't that based on a self-help book? What a weird tagline about dicking somebody. It's not a self-help book? What a weird tagline about dicking somebody. It's not a self-help book. It's a pregnancy book. A self-help book for pregnancy. But it's not like, take charge of your career. Scientology.

Well, no, but you don't usually have a pregnancy section in a small independent bookstore, which I'm familiar with. Are you tired of making it? I can't make fun of anyone else for the rest of my life. The first draft of What's the Expecting or Expecting had somebody blowing somebody through the roof with a large wad of sperm. Large wad of sperm. What a fucking stressful night.

This is a stressful night? For me, it is, yeah. Let's move on to the films of someone else. Let's play a round of Last Man Stanton. Yay! Yay! I've never played this, but I'm so excited. I just hope that no one on Twitter gives me shit about the last 30 minutes.

I'm sure that won't happen. I also thought you were like a big don't read my Twitter guy. I thought you just wrote funny tweets and just walked away. I read what people write to me. I just don't write back to them. You never respond. Yeah. But you see what they're writing to you.

Yeah. Interesting. I'll take all that negative attention and just swallow it down. But you never write back? Like, fuck you, man. I will tonight. I will tonight. No, not really.

I don't really like to engage. Because, like, what am I going to do? Convince people of something? You know, you don't win an argument on Twitter. Right, you can never convince anybody of anything. That's true. But on Twitter, you can't be, you can't. They're pretty set in their ways.

Yeah. But sometimes when somebody writes something shitty to you, and you write back hey man they write back oh just joking around you know they didn't really mean it

what I like to do now is I retweet I will retweet them and then and then so you shame them and you watch you watch all your followers

attack them yeah yeah that's fine and then I send my followers to their house to get them would you do you call them

your minions that is the future there should be an app where you do that Would you call them your minions? That is the future. There should be an app where you do that. A lynching app? Yeah, like a lynching. Lynched in? You know, fun.

Rob would like to add you on Lynch team. So here's how Last Man Stanton works. I get a name of an actor or actress from somebody in the audience. I like to play along with this game so I don't plan it ahead of time. And then we have to take turns, all of us. Who are we calling the winner of that last game? Let's see.

Well, it's not me. I know. I got one right, didn't I? No, you didn't get shit right. Oh, the last game I got one see. Well, it's not me. I know. I got one right, didn't I? No, you didn't get shit right. Oh, the last game I got one right. Yeah, you didn't get anything right this time. We'll call Julian the winner of that last game because he got one that he's not even in.

Really? Yeah, good job. That applause was so good. That was like getting an at reply on Twitter that was like, you fucking suck. Thanks, guys. No, that was way more like an at reply on Twitter that was like you fucking suck thanks guys no that was way more like an at reply

going it was alright what you did saw you on that talk show you were alright it's alright so I'm gonna get a name of somebody

and there's people that write to me on Twitter all day long saying I've got the perfect name for tonight and I didn't write any of your names down today. So I just got to trust.

This guy is so fired up in the front row. He was raising his hand in the middle of the last game. I don't know what this game is. I missed it. We got a, yeah, no, so you just don't participate. Just sit this one out. The movie's a Rob Hubel. He's going to say the name of somebody,

then we're going to take turns naming movies they were in. If you can't think of one, you're out. I'll be great at this. It starts with Julian and then goes to you, Rob. So be ready. What's your suggestion? First of all, what's your name? Nick.

Nick. And where do you pump gas at, Nick? It's just a hat joke. What about... He said pump gas. Pump gas. Where do you do it? New Jersey or Portland? No, what do you do for a living? I graduated film school.

A graduate from film school and now you're a waiter. Do you want to plug the name of your restaurant? No, they're closing next week. They're closing next week? Do you want to plug your film school? Emerson College. Emerson College? What was the restaurant?

Season's 52 over in Central. That's closing? Are you fucking serious? You'll never finish the screenplay. Somebody just got some bad news. Are you serious? I own that restaurant. My investment.

What's your guy that's upset? What's your favorite thing to eat at Seasons 52? What's not good to eat? What's not good to eat? It's good. It is good. It's that good. Do you think it's good, to eat? It's good. It is good. It's that good. Do you think it's good, the food? Why is it closing?

They have a gimmick. They're doing some remodeling. Oh, remodeling and okay. What's their gimmick? Everything is under how many calories? It used to be everything is under 750 calories. Oh, they don't do that anymore? Everything is under 750?

Is that a hard bar to get under? Fucking McGriddles is 420. All right, so in honor of the soon-to-be-defunct Seasons 52. Seasons 52! Is that part of their problem is the theme song was too short. What's your suggestion?

Sam Rockwell. Sam Rockwell. Oh boy, oh boy. That's a good one, but a tricky one. We'll start with Julian. Just name any but a tricky one. We'll start with Julian. Just name any Sam Rockwell movie. We'll start with obvious.

Moon. Sure, I guess that's obvious. Over to me. Yes, sir. Charlie's Angels. I'll go with The Way, Way Back. Choke. Yeah. I'll go with the way way back choke yeah

oh shit this is hard yeah it gets pretty hard pretty fast as I like to say your dick instead of

instead of her saying it oh you just that was yeah Chuck Palahniuk book motherfucker I know I know

I know oh wow yeah Charlie's Angels 2 no you could do better than that um

nice encouragement from Doug plus you would have needed the full title on that I that and I'm pretty sure he's not in it full throttle I know yeah ah throttle I mean he's the best and I can't remember any other movies right I'm already stumped it's a tough one yeah it's a tough one cuz he's you know a character actor he's usually not the top build person.

He usually just sort of dances into a scene and then takes off. But that's all you got? Man, I really can't. I'm so humiliated, but yeah, I got nothing. That's alright. Rob? Is it the sitter or the babysitter? Yeah, he's the bad guy and the sitter.

Okay. That was a close one. Damn it. If you said babysitter, it was all over. No, I said it's about a babysitter. bad guy and the sitter. Okay. Yeah. That was a close one. Damn it. If you said babysitter, it was all over. No, I said it's about a babysitter. It's just the sitter. Just the sitter. Oh, it's me? I'll go with seven psychopaths. Fuck.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Yeah, there you go. This lady's not a fan of that, but... Suck a D. Moon 2. You're out, motherfucker. I love that he comes in with a horrible guess, even though he's out.

Moon 2. There was one more in the basement. Rob. People got sad for that. even though he's out. Moon 2. There was one more in the basement. Rob? People got sad for that. Can it be one coming out, or it has to be one that's out? Oh, you with your movies that are coming out. You know so much about what's happening in the future.

I think he's in Hateful Eight. I don't know. I don't know. I don't think he is. I might be out. I don't think he's in Hateful Eight. He could still be cut. You're probably thinking of maybe of Tim Roth in Hateful Eight.

Yeah, he's in there. Let's name everybody that's in Hateful Eight. Sam Jackson. Channing Tatum. Kurt Russell. Get the fuck out of here. Kurt Russell. Jennifer the fuck out of here. Kurt Russell. Jennifer Jason Leigh.

Sam Jackson. Tim Roth. He said Sam Jackson. I said Sam Jackson. I just like to say Sam Jackson. I'm not playing what you're doing. What's his name? The ear cutting off guy.

Madsen. Madsen. Yeah, yeah. The guy from the Capital One commercials. And we're probably missing a couple. Bruce Dern. Bruce Dern. Oh, yeah.

And Jennifer Jason Leigh, I said. So you guys are really great at paying attention. By the way, this is Doug stalling for himself to think of. This is you stalling of another Sam Rockwell. Oh, it's on me? Yeah. I thought it was on Rob. No, I'm out.

He didn't have one. What? Yeah, I didn't have one. You just quit? Yeah. Well, no, I didn't. What are the rules? Can I keep going?

All you have to do is say one. You just quit? Yeah. Well, no, I didn't. What are the rules? Can I keep going? All you had to do was say Iron Man 2. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm out, Doug. I think you just got it. No, you got me. For reals?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would Sam Rockwell be good at this game? Better at it than I was. I don't know, but I know he'd definitely give us some confessions of a dangerous mind. Oh. All right. What else you guys got? Majestic men.

Majestic men, of course. Galaxy Quest. Oh, the recent poltergeist. That guy's yelling so loud my ears hurt. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, they keep saying. Snow Angels. Box of Moonlights, Snow Angels. Yeah, with Kate Beckinsale.

He was the abusive boyfriend or husband or whatever. That's it? That's all we got? What to expect when you're expecting. Norbit. I think we left out a couple of them. Clown House?

Galaxy Quest. Galaxy Quest is a big one that we missed. He's so funny in that. Everyone's great in that one. Galaxy Quest. What happened? The way, way more back. I see Teen Wolf.

Way, way back, we already said. Digging for Fire. Digging for Fire, yeah. Green Mile. Really recent. Green Mile. Really recent. Green Mile. They just keep coming. He's really hard because he hasn't had a lot of leading roles,

so he's like a character actor. I think that's what those exact words came out of my mouth. Like a while ago. I was too busy thinking to hear a word. Yeah, he's a good, bad name for that game. So congratulations to all involved. It's just hard because he hasn't had that many leading roles. What do you think, Julie?

Bit part of the Sam Rockwell story? What? I said small part, the Sam Rockwell story. Was he in that? No. No. All right, you guys. Let's play.

I was hoping that would be the last game of the night. But then somebody suggested Sam Rockwell. So let's. We could do it again with somebody else. I'm not going to point fingers. We could do it again with somebody who's, I don't know, just like a leading kind of role person. It's tough.

People always say they've got the perfect name that hasn't been played yet. And then I say, okay, what's your name? And then they're, you know. For reals? Bruce Dern? Who said that? Yeah, Bruce Dern.

That's a terrible one. And Brad Pitt, we just played like on the last episode did I say everybody say a name Chris Tucker's been in six movies and four of them

are sequels and then the other one's Fifth Element what about what was the other one's Fifth Element. What was the other one you were saying? This is kind of fun. Tim Allen. I'd like you to leave the building. Keanu Reeves, you have

to have done before. That we do. Helena Bonham Carter. Helena Bonham Carter. Just name Tim Burton movies. Let's do Sam Rockwell again. I'll do much better this time. That'd be an interesting game

to just do it all over again. See how well we remember. We'd still forget. There's no coming up with Box of Moonlight under any circumstances. We've got a few minutes left, so let's play a round of the reverse malton game this is like the old leonard malton game that you guys have all played but uh instead of uh

you know bidding on how many uh names you think it'll take to come up with the title the first thing you're gonna know is the title of the movie and then everybody bids on how many names you think it'll take to come up with the title, the first thing you're going to know is the title of the movie, and then everybody bids on how many names from the movie they can name. From the top in order? Not in order. Okay, great. Not from the top, just any, but it has to be listed by Leonard in the app. And I'm going to...

Cool. Since Dan won that last thing by a nose, because he named one more than the other guy, than Rob did, who named several more than Julian did. He said no. Julian, what would you say to Sam Rockwell if you met him about your performance tonight? I would say that I loved him in Seven Psychopaths,

and, well, I really couldn't play it again right afterwards. I already forgot. Because you already can't think of any more. In Iron Man 2? No, the most embarrassing, I shouldn't even say that. I'm not even gonna say that. Never say Iron Man 2 out loud.

No, no, I just... It's just like... I've mentioned to people when they ask, who's your favorite actor? I've repeatedly said Sam Rockwell and then knew three movies. It's the most embarrassing thing that I should have kept to myself.

But Moon is probably the first one you named and that's like his... That's his tour de force. Yeah. I mean, he's incredible. You don't need to memorize all the titles

to know that he's great. Dude, I couldn't say the movies that I was in. I just didn't think that Doug would do that. Do what? Sweat me like that. I wasn't sweating you. It was called Handing you the win helping me yeah yeah no it's always fun when people don't know the why would you know the tag you ever do you

ever do kate winslet yeah we have done her oh yeah yeah that gets tricky wait what oh god i thought she was in a movie called gang you know it's probably that table side manner that lost you that gig There's probably a lot of winking going around Make sure you tell him we're closing We might open up again someday Here's your coffee And would you like to fuck someone with a bunch of other people

Nick don't worry the closing of this restaurant Means you like to fuck someone with a bunch of other people? Nick, don't worry. The closing of this restaurant means you can finally pursue working at a different restaurant. So Dan's going to get to pick between three movies. Sweet. And then I'll tell him how many actors are in the movie that he picks, and then he will bid how many he thinks he can name and then we'll uh we'll go to julian and then to rob might not even get to you rob you might not have to worry about it take a nap you might be boxed out sam levine style Would you like to play Cars,

Used Cars, or Carlito's Way? Which one of those films? I'm gonna go Cars. Dan Telfer's going with cars. And Leonard lists. It's a pretty amazing lineup here. He lists 9, 11.

He lists 911 names. He lists 13 names. And this G-rated general audiences film from 2006. How many of those names do you think you can name? This time you want to bid high and not low like ye olde and Leonard

Maltin Gamer. Yeah, I mean you can still bid kind of low if you don't want to bite off more than you can chew. I'll say three names. He's saying three names. Julian McCullough. Can you name more than three of the voice actors in Cars?

The original? I'll say four. He says four names, Rob Hubel. What do I say if I want him to name that movie? You just say name those names, and then if he can't get all four right, you're going to be our winner. Name those names.

All right. So in any particular order, just four of the voices from Cars. Okay. I'll tell you if you're right or wrong after you've named all four. Rob Hubel's in it. You got one.

Is he really? Are you? I can't tell you. You can't tell me because you don't know. I'll fucking take it. I deserve that. I deserve that.

He's got a small part in Cars. He plays a lawnmower. Oh, you're Lonnie? Okay. Lonnie. Dan Whitman. Listen, if you're just going to try to screw up on purpose. No, Dan Whitman is Larry the Cable Guy, who is...

No, he's not. He's not? What's his name? I'm not gonna tell you, dummy. Well, he's billed as Larry the Cable Guy anyway. So, Larry the Cable Guy. Owen Wilson. Uh... Wait, I definitely knew more than two.

Keyword, new. Yeah. Oh, shit. What is up, dad brain? I know, I know. Your brain was having so much fun with trying to say the real name of Larry the Cable Guy. I know, I know, and then it blocked everything else out. Didn't even do that right.

You're like a psychiatrist. This is a terrible guess. I'm going to, this is a terrible guess. I'm going to get this wrong. What? Someone in the front row just passed out. It's such a good movie,

she thought. She just called Seasons 52 and nobody picked up. Reba McEntire? Alright, that's three. You still need a fourth one. He tried to get out early

and you won't let him. I can't believe this. I mean, there's... There's a... There's a Mexican car. Which is probably, I'm gonna say... Yeah. Pretend you're a casting director

and you need to hire a Mexican car George Lopez Okay So that's your four guesses and you were correct with Larry the Cable Guy Dan Whitney Whitney, right And then you were right with Owen Wilson

And then I was right with Reba McIntyre There's no Reba McIntyre There's no Reba McEntire. There's no Reba McEntire. And then, of course, the Mexican they went with is a fellow known as Cheech Marin. Oh, of course. The original George Lopez. Yes. People were like really assured.

You're right. You're right. You're right. And of course, well, you know, Paul Newman was the, you know, he was the top billed car. What? Paul Newman. Yeah, man. If you know anything. That's Paul Newman?

Yeah. Well, it seems like I should have known that. Yeah. Is this like his highest grossing movie, by the way? How sad would that be if cars like blew likeool-Aid Luke out of the water? Probably did. Yeah. Cars movies made a lot of money.

Yeah. But yeah, there was George Carlin, Tony Shalhoub, Richard Petty, Bonnie Hunt, Michael Keaton. Bonnie Hunt is the... John Ratzenberger. Is John Ratzenberger a mail car? Bonnie Hunt is Reba McEntire. What are you talking about? Ratzberger a male car? A male delivery car? What are you talking about? In my parents' brain,

Reba McIntyre is Bonnie Hunt. Wait, do you think Bonnie Hunt and Bonnie Raitt are the same person? Yes! Hence the Reba McIntyre confusion. That's why she sings I Can't Make You Drive Me in that song. What?

I just thought you thought Cars and Tremors were the same movie. Some guy named Michael Wallace. Bruce Dern. Michael Wallace and Paul Dooley and Jennifer Lewis rounding out the cast. And how many did I get? You got two after bidding four. So I won. You did?

I won. Rob Heuvel's a winner! Yeah! Yeah, let's get that... Where's the person you're playing for? Oh, he's right up front. There you go. That sweet, sweet John Oliver always right up front that's sweet sweet john oliver bag and you do you want your uh name tag in your joint back

we could share that after we're gonna have a special moment you guys gonna listen to mermaids in your car can you just hold the shell up to your ear and the CD case, just listen to it that way? If you want to know. Well, great job, Rob. You did it. I don't know what kind of world we live in where I couldn't get any of my own

movies, but I still won this game. It's a very special world. America. America is not the name of the world, but it should be. What's on your to-plug list, Rob Hubel? I'll plug me and Shear have a comedy special

that you can buy on iTunes called Crash Test, which is really good. And then I'll plug Transparent is starting up again in December. Season two. That's great. I didn't

see season one of Transparent. You're in it a lot? No, not a lot. I have a very small part in it. But the show is really good. You would like the show. I play Lonnie the lawnmower. Are you Jeffrey Tambor in that? I'm Jeffrey Tambor, yeah. Taking over for him in the next season. He's tired.

Wants to move on. Now that you've won all the awards. You should watch it. I will watch it. I'm busy right now. I'm busy watching movies this year I'll make TV next year I just got some screeners

in the mail for like Oscar fate yeah I got Furious 7 today I gotta watch that I really did I gotta watch that shit

I really did I got a screener of that wow and then the prequel to Hateful Eight yeah I really did. I got to watch that shit. I really did. I got a screener of that. Wow. And then straight out of Compton. The prequel to Hateful Eight? Yeah. And I got straight out of Compton, too.

Oh, that's terrific. That's really good. I haven't seen it. I got to watch it. No, you'll enjoy that. I forget what that one's about. Yeah. Crank it.

Crank both of those. At the same time? Get them good. Both movies at the same time. That was my impersonation. The films could have a race riot amongst themselves. What about you, Julian McCullough?

I have November Okay, so your thing is you can't remember anything. You're the amnesia comic. Go to my Twitter. I'm doing Salt Lake City, a club in Salt Lake City in mid-November. Wise Guys? Yeah.

Yeah, it is. I believe so. Thank you very much, Doug. You're welcome. Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. There's several locations, so find the right one. And then, oh, I'll also be at Dr. Grin's in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Oh, that's fun.

That's a good club. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good times. And I'll be at Texas A&M next week. If you're a student there, you can come to the show. That would be interesting. I'd like you to get back to me and tell me about how nobody said that they listen to this podcast.

Because for some reason, I find the college demos, those are the people that are they listen to this podcast because for some reason uh i find the college demos the those are the people that are least listening to the podcast they exist they do listen some of them but uh you should some reason they're busy studying or something yeah yeah no but you know i mean they're not sitting by themselves somewhere just listening to something you know they have activities yeah, and maybe not studying. They have sex. They're too busy fucking. You listen to your podcast

and I'll listen to mine while we make love. Don't tell me what happens in cereal. Yeah. Yeah. While we fuck. What about you, Dan Dan you got anything to plug yeah please get my album Ocean of Panic on the old iTunes

it was recorded here at Nerd Melt and I like it a lot and it was number one on iTunes you should take that as a sign yes that it was popular at one time it's still a best seller Doug even though I'm the third most famous guest.

And then, if you like the sound of my horrible nerdy voice, check out the Nerd Poker Podcast, where me and Brian Posehn and people play Dungeons and Dragons. I play a female warrior priest drow elf named Nausicaa

Nimhai. Jesus Christ. Yeah man fucking I told you I got no genitals. I mean we all played Magic the Gathering right? But that's stupid what you do. I haven't played either of those things. Alright. What do I have to plug?

Oh Doug Lowe's movie is going to be in Nashville at Zany's on Tuesday, November the 10th. One more round of applause for Rob Hubel, Julian McCullough, and Dan Telfer. And as always,

the Filipino guy who lives up the street who yells at my dogs is a shithead. And anyone trying to defund Planned Parenthood is a shhead. Thank you.