Doug Loves Movies - Ross Marquand, Bree Essrig, Chelsey Crisp and Julian McCullough guest

Episode Date: March 31, 2016

Live from the UCB Franklin, Doug welcomes actors Ross Marquand, Bree Essrig, Chelsey Crisp and fan-favorite Julian McCullough to the show. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, screaming babies, Sippy seeds with 50 azotop or kernels in his teeth. They're still not warm, that he won't sleep, But Doug loves movies! Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name... I have, my name is Doug. And I love movies. This is Doug Loves Movies. It always has more of a sing-songy, actual singing in it when we do it here in Hollywood

because there's so much talent that can't be held back. That's right. We're at the UCB Theater, the Franklin Avenue location, we have to say, since they opened the Sunset one. It's Wednesday, March 30th, 2016. Got name tags?

Anyone? Oh, there's a big one. I saw you outside finishing your food because they don't allow outside food in here. And you have Brynjans instead of Minjans because your name is Bryn. Yeah, I'm getting pretty good at this

after ten years. And you attached a sound effect megaphone horn thingy. Yeah, that's fun. Make it make a noise. It's like the minions themselves. It's all burps and farts. All right, good job.

What's this over here? Whiskey? Oh, I get it. Whiskey Tango. And your name is Kate. Yeah, so you had to really have some fun with Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Which is already a fun title that's easy to remember but good job with that

that's too small for me to even begin to read got a huge swath over here of no name tags whatsoever which I admire that it's like you know some people don't want to carry around a bag full of crap for the rest of the night.

Might be going out drinking after this. Old Dan Yeller, what does that mean? Your name's Dan? Dan Yeller. Old Dan Yeller, come on! There's a guy over there with one that just says name tag on it. That's crazy.

Next to a really pretty Star Wars picture. That's you in the middle there? It's a self-portrait? And then there's... Oh, an eight-year-old made that? I was really condescending to you. Or trying to not be mean

about... I would have guessed seven, but that's cool. or trying to not be mean about, well, that doesn't, I would have guessed seven, but that's cool. I would not have guessed any. I don't know. People, have you seen some of the artwork I put on the internet from shows?

Like, they, it really ranges in quality and childlikeness. But can we give her a shout out? Does she listen to the show? Yeah. What? Veena. Veena is her name?

You're raising an alien child to draw Star Wars portraits and listen to this filthy show. It gets filthy sometimes. Do you have to explain anything to her? She doesn't listen. She's just aware of it. She doesn't listen.

She's just aware of it. That's how I wish my entire career was. That guy's famous, let's not worry about the details. Thank you for bringing name tags, you guys.

Doug's plugs, I'll be at Jash Fest in Palm Springs this weekend and also this weekend, it's a crazy weekend

for me, the Wayne Fetterman International Film Festival, which I shouldn't even have brought up because that show's sold out. But come, I'm going to stick around, come and see Patton Oswalt. If his aren't sold out yet, he's showing Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3

and Bad News Bears, both with Walter Matthau, both remade inferiorly. I'm going to be doing Doug Loves Movies over at Meltdown Comics next Tuesday. And also, Doug Loves Movies comes to the Comedy Zone in Greenville, South Carolina on Saturday, April 9th at 420. DougLovesMovies.com

The prize bag, I brought a bag, and everybody else, I got four guests tonight, as you can see bag and everybody else I got four guests tonight as you can see and everybody brought something so good job publicists I've got a

I should just explain backstage someone I'm not going to name names Gabe had me try a new vapor pen and I was

it was probably not smart of me to try it twice right before coming out here because it's like a vapor pen that hits like you took a huge bong rip and I did two of them a couple minutes ago and that doesn't explain this though one of the prizes tonight

is a shower curtain that I bought but it doesn't fit my shower. And I don't want to be like, hey, Target, I'm really going to need a refund on this. It's all my incompetence, so I might as well take the $19 hit. Yeah, I go really expensive when it comes to shower curtains. A Doug Loves Movies

shirt is in the bag, and also from my VHS collection, we've got an episode of Movie Stars called Last Dance. That wasn't a terrible show. Zach Galifianakis actually guest starred on at least one episode. And Buffy the Vampire Slayer,

episode called Never Kill a Boy on the First Date. And these are just fun, because I worked at the WB, and on a lot of the labels, it says W-W-W-W-W-B, and has the frog with his hat out. it says dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub- yeah and all of this is in a bag a beautiful I wore it over here like a fucking backpack Jack Daniels Tennessee honey whatever it is they're not a sponsor but that's the bag it's all coming in plus the other stuff my guests

have brought and I've been teasing one of these guests for a while so I'm very happy that it's happening and I can't get these damn VHS tapes into the bag. They are so bulky. Entertainment's all going to be like, you know, pin-sized eventually. Great story, Doug. Let's get my guests out here. Please welcome

Brie Essrig, Chelsea Crisp, Julian McCullough, and Ross Marquand. Big lineup. Here they come. Shower curtain. Hey, you guys. Hello. Thank you all for being here.

What an eclectic lineup. Yeah. You know, both sexes are covered to equal degree. And degree? Jesus. I'm trying to decide right now which I'm more, high or drunk. Should be high,

but I also had a couple of drinks, so it's a really, really great combo. Let's meet our guests. We got three newbies, as I like to say, and one oldbie, and let's start with the newbies and give a warm welcome individually to, starting with Chelsea Crisp is here, everybody.

Yeah. Hi. Who watches Fresh Off the Boat? Who's seen that program? Yeah, she's been on there numerous times. Two people? And yeah, people watch it, right? Yay!

Not anyone here, but yes. Yeah, no, I saw a few people out there but you know the people that are here right now they go out you know they don't uh they don't watch tv uh but which what they're gonna do is they're gonna go out and see your new motion picture called bleed it is called it's called straight up bleed it is straight up called that is an unpleasant like right away that's a frightening movie title. It's a completely frightening and somewhat misleading title. There's not a lot of blood in it.

Oh, well there we go. There's a breaking news. It's very suspenseful, a lot of tension. All right, well that's great to hear. I'm more in now. Okay. I was scared of a movie called Bleed. I was just like, what is this going to be?

You know, somebody just can't stop bleeding for an entire film? I don't want to say it's like bleed-free. There's still some blood in it. Alright. You've got to have that one really gross scene pretty early on to make everybody scared that that's going to happen again later in the movie.

That's a tried and true formula. Yeah. So when is it going to come out? When can people see it? It's actually out now. It's already on... Video On Demand, iTunes, and it's in a few theaters as well. Which cities?

Do you know which cities? I know Phoenix for sure. Holy shit, Phoenix. Yeah. Come on, Phoenix. It's time to bleed. What else you got to do besides bleed? We all do it at some point or another. Bleed. I could come up with some great taglines.

Thank you very much for introducing yourself. It's Brie Essring is here for the first time. First time guest. Vine star. Hilarious short films on the internet. Yeah, and he's sketch comedy.

Sketch comedy. And yeah, you've been on the show. You've been on my weed show. You were on Getting Doug with High. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and you did

a great job on that. That was an absolute pleasure. Oh, okay. Thank you. Was I mistaken and not, should I have gotten you high for this tonight? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize.

We were outside, you know. Oh, I smelled it. Okay. I delved it. I know. But, yeah, thank you for doing this show and actually being your actual listener. You've heard this program. Oh, yes.

Yeah. I'm a huge fan. So that's neat. That's really exciting because you're not going to be confused by anything. But there might be some new stuff tonight that you haven't heard. We'll see. We'll see what happens. But thank you for being here.

Thanks for having me. Also here for the first time, you know him from... Who's making phone noises? You know him from... I love how he turned around and pointed somebody out. Kid in the front row of class is always the first one to narc everybody out. Ross Marquand is here, you guys,

from The Walking Dead. And from my favorite thing on the internet, your goddamn nano impressions. Use your microphone voice. Thank you very much. Like you sat there silently accepting my compliments.

I'm grateful. Thank you. Please talk into the microphone, because we certainly can't let you get out of here without doing... First, you have to spoil the finale of Walking Dead, which is this Sunday on AMC at 9 p.m. Eastern and Pacific. 90-minute episode. First, you have to spoil that.

And then a nano nano impression or two. Because I love your nano impressions. Thank you. And I've been trying them. I've been doing them on the podcast for a few weeks now. What do you got? I got Christopher Walken

finding out that his flight has been canceled. Why? And Christoph Waltz seeing a mouse. So you see, mine are not great. So lay on us

a one that's one of your best ones, masterpieces. I want to try a new one if that's alright. I'd love that.

You're a debut one on this program? I want a debut one if that's alright. You'd love that. You're a debut one on this program? I want a debut one if that's alright. You don't have to do a spoiler for Walking Dead now. This is bigger. I've been toying with Colin Quinn recently. Oh no. This is the perfect audience for this. He's been on this show.

Oh has he? Yeah. He doesn't want to do it again. Well then maybe I could tailor it. Let's put the nail in that coffin. Well then maybe it's a phone call from you being like, hey, Colin, do you want to start? Colin, would you like to do the show again?

Well, you know, thing is... That was pretty solid. And one of your longer nano impressions. I got like McConaughey, Kevin Spacey, Brad Pitt. What do you think? Brad Pitt? Nobody does Brad Pitt. Let's hear a little Brad Pitt. Sure, sure, sure. What's he doing? What's happening?

Dog's over here, just chilling at the table. Yeah. Having a really good time. It's hilarious that I'm trying to make him do nano impressions in a format where it doesn't matter how fast it goes and we can really hear these things. Yeah, let's talk to

Kevin Spacey about the new season, the current season of Game of Cards. Well, if we're going to talk about Game of Cards and I have to remind you that it's actually called House of Cards, but that's fine. I'm going to talk about Game of Cards, then I have to remind you that it's actually called House of Cards, but that's fine.

I'm going to do Frank Underwood for you, Doug, and I hope you enjoy that. Wow. Wow. You know... Wow. That's the thing a lot of bad impressionists do, is they make sure they work the name of the person into the impression.

And it's like, Trump's the only one where you can do it realistically because he really does say his own name a lot so if you do an impression of him, it's like, oh yeah, he'd say that. But it's funny that everybody else has to ID themselves. Do you do anybody from The Walking Dead? I do, but I don't do it because if I ever got back to them,

I just... Oh, they don't listen to this shit. Steven Yeun's the only one that's been on this show. Yeah, Steven's great. We almost got Lauren Cohan, but I think she might have listened to an episode or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, because she went from I'm in to never. I mean, never.

Because she's... She's British. Yeah, what's with all those crazy... Do her and Rick, do they just bust out their foreign accents when they're not playing the characters, or do they stay in character all day? Andy stays in character the whole day.

He plays Rick. Andrew Lincoln. Andrew Lincoln, yeah. Andy. He goes by Andy. Does everybody just go, oh no, Andy's here, and you all flop to the ground?

Like Toy Story? That'd be funny. That'd be great. Yeah, it's amazing. They're taking

all of our jobs. It's great. I don't mean to grudge. Right? I mean,

Brits, God. Yeah, but they're great at it. They're almost better at it than us. It's okay. I mean, because when it goes the other way around,

I barely can take it. Like, I never like it when What's-Her-Name does it. Gwyneth Paltrow. Never like that. You know, before I list a thousand names, let's say hi to Julian McCullough is also here. So polite over there.

Such a good guest. How are you holding up as a host? He's the host of Julian Loves Music. Yeah, we have one episode. Where some real do-gooders come to me sometimes to point out that my show's been ripped off. I know, it's so funny. And I have to go, no, it's a spinoff, dude.

Don't you remember spinoffs? I use the same logo and everything, and they're like, oh man, I'm going to let Doug know about this. You're empty nest to my golden girls. That's what's going on here. I mean, that's the only example I ever use. Right, well, you could be my Laverne and Shirley to, you know, my happy days.

And then I could also get a Mork and Mindy and a, what else spun off a happy days? Joni loves Chachi. Yeah, I could get all those. So how's it going so far? I always say Frazier and Cheers, but that's just because I talk about that with Jeff Tate all the time. Yeah, Jeff Tate, who's here tonight, everybody. Dying wish. Jeff Tate, who's here tonight, everybody.

Dying wish. He'll be back on the show soon. Yes. Yeah. What were we talking about? Oh, the podcast is going great. When's the next one? When can people see it live here in Los Angeles? April 10th at 7.30 at UCB

at here, Franklin. Nice. Yeah. And I'm really psyched so far. Oh, I don't want to tell the guests

but they're awesome. I love the sunset location but it's a podcast from their Echoey. Yeah, it's a little bit Echoey. It's got a tall ceiling. Yeah.

Can't do much about that. Although, I thought I could get Donald Trump to get the Mexicans to build a lower ceiling. I'm just obsessed with that goddamn wall

because he keeps saying it's getting higher and higher. He says it's going to cost $10 billion to build this wall and Mexico will pay for it. Who cares who's paying for it? Give $10 billion worth of relief to people who need it. Don't build a stupid wall. Yeah, if you just gave it to Mexico, they wouldn't need to come here.

They already aren't, and when they are, they can fly or go through a tunnel if they're El Chapo. Yeah, exactly. So anyway. I want to say I was backstage talking to Chelsea's friend, and I go, what's bleed about? And he goes, because it's called bleed, right? So I was scared like you. And he goes, a married couple?

That was it. And I was like, that sounds even worse than I was imagining. Is Chelsea, is it darkly humorous at all? Or is it straight up scary? It's more straight up scary. But it does start with a married couple. That's correct. I'm very married. Doesn't it all start with it?

Yes. I'm half of the married couple. You're half of the married couple? I'm very pregnant before the bleeding starts. Congratulations. Oh, no! Okay. Not that.

Not her joke. Not the same. All right. You don't have to say anything more, I'm in I want to make sure I asked everybody what I asked for I move on to the next thing, which is Oh, I got a million questions for Ross They've just been building up You know I love musicals, but

You wrote and directed A musical version of the movie Tron in college. Yes, I did. And you seem pretty proud of it. I'm proud of that more than anything in my life. Could you give us a few bars of a song from the Tron musical? Is that too much to ask? No, it was 12 years ago. Life is an Arcade is the hit song.

That's the hit song? Yeah, that's the hit song. That's the hit song? Yeah, that's the hit song. That's the one, they're rocking it up the charts? Life is an arcade. Life is an arcade. Oh, shit. Have I gone insane? I can't remember all the...

It was a while ago. Because he like... Thank you. Sounds like you listen to too much Mr. Roboto. He gets transported into the game and then he starts singing about it.

Yeah, of course. And everybody, was it, did you light it like with black light and everybody wore the costumes that glowed? We had a $500 budget

and I used every penny. Is there a videotape of this? Yeah, yeah. I'll put it up. I should put it up on YouTube. That's amazing. I think Disney might get pissed at me, though.

Okay. Speaking of Disney and Star Wars, Richard Marquand, director of Episode 6. Any relation? Yes. Distant uncle. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. I never met him. He directed most of the third best in the series. That's true. And I always say most, because I just hope that he called in sick on Ewok days. Because he was a really good director who also, sadly to say, died rather

young and suddenly. Like he didn't go through a long illness. He just dropped from something, right? Yeah, it was a heart attack, I think. I never met him. Yeah, but made that spy thriller Eye of the Needle, which is really good.

He directed seven movies, I think. Something like that. Good director. He directed seven movies, I think, something like that. Good director. He did a good job. That's where I thought George Lucas went off the deep end. He just started directing them all himself after hiring two great directors to do parts

five and six. One, two, three were weird. Did you like the new one? Yeah, I liked the new one. I should have included it in my whatever I just said about it. I thought you were going to ask me to do Harrison Ford. That's why I thought you were going with this. I'm sorry.

If you can, I would love it. That would get me out of this hole. Happy birthday, Ford. I was blown away by the new one because there was that whole bit about them coming into the space station where they're trying to save... What's her name? He's got this jacket on. He's like,

God damn, it's freezing outside. And he's like, Chewie, you got fur covering your whole body. I don't want to hear it. And then they get inside the... There you go. And they get inside the space station where there's stormtroopers everywhere

ready to pop out and kill him at any second. And then he's like, good, we're inside. He takes off the jacket. He makes a big bit of taking off the jacket. And then Chewie, towards the end of it, he's like, here's your jacket again. That's not Chewie's voice, of course. He's like, thanks.

It makes no sense, but I love it. Chewie's like the one sound you can't make with your mouth. I was just thinking. There you go. Yeah, you could do it. People underestimate the importance of jackets in a revolution. I feel like jackets are always a big part, whether they're on or off. You want to look cool when you're killing people, I guess.

Che Guevara was big about his jacket status. Maybe there's like a summer theater program somewhere where you can donate your time and go and write and direct a Force Awakens musical for some kids to do. I would love that. That's a great idea. Getting the rights would be super easy, right? You know what? When it was Lucas, you could probably get away with it. Oh, really?

Because Lucas was like, you know what I mean? Like all the parody things on the internet, he doesn't sue about anything. But now that it's Disney, who knows what the fuck's going to happen. Well, Disney hates kids. So they wouldn't allow something like that. They're pretty pro-gay though right now. Because they officially were going to pull out all of their productions out of Georgia. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was pretty awesome. If they passed that rule. I can tell you that Disney does come after you if you try to fuck with them. Because they came after a Frozen parody that I did with my friend Brad Ehrlich called Do You Want to Do Some Blowman? But that's for the

children! Protect the children! Don't let your kid be aware of that part that just happened. Also, I don't know, it sounds like fun for gay people so that's weird that they would be against it you know oh i see what you're saying yeah it's a drug reference yeah some of the best cocaine i've ever done was from gay dudes yeah i'm not making a stereotype i'm just telling you my personal story yeah it only fair. And let's start with you, Julian. What's the last movie

that you saw? Easy questions at the beginning. Right. Last movie I saw was... Oh. Well, I mean,

it's probably been beat to death on this show. Deadpool. Same. Yeah, we talk about it a lot. Everybody seems to agree that they love it. I couldn't say...

I read the Deadpool... I'm a 35-year-old white guy, so I read the comic books when they came out and loved it. And then when the ad campaign started, I was like, ugh. And then the movie was great, and I was all pissed off. You mad for liking it? I was mad that, like, why did they advertise it like it was some, like, horrible 12-year-old kid that, you know what I mean? Like, the sense of humor of the ad campaign was like if you meet a kid at a party

and he's trying to be funny to adults, like that obnoxious kid. Yeah, I hear you. And then the movie was great. Yeah. Legitimately funny. The ads were great, but I also just tried not to pay attention to them in general. I thought it was fun how he just sort of showed up in a costume in odd places. But those were mostly print that I thought were clever.

Right. But yeah, the trailer wasn't great. But that just seems to be the rule of the day. So I just avoid trailers as much as I can. Now I know exactly what I need to know about Bleed. You know what I mean? I don't need to watch the trailer for it. Right.

You can dive right in I'm ready yeah I'm gonna get it I'm gonna go after it alright so Julian on your show do you ask people

what was the last song that they heard I asked them I asked them like what yeah or how about what did you and the Uber driver listen to

no I asked them let's see on the first episode, like mini episode, I asked Emily, Gordon, and Kumail Nanjiani what their wedding song was and why they picked it. That's fun. Yeah. That sounded sarcastic. It was fun, Doug. Yeah, I think it would be.

But that's what I'm saying, is I appreciate that you're going to ask people about, because music is probably more important to some people than movies. Yeah. Music really permeates our entire lives. You're not watching movies constantly, but music's around everywhere. Well, it's also, people are so personally possessive of it, and not everybody's listening to the same thing.

Movies, there's eight movies out at a time, and America either goes and sees them or they don't or whatever. But like music is like, just, it's just massive, you know? So I just decided I got to, I'm just going to book people that I think are funny and then ask them personal questions about what they love. And either people are listening and know what they're talking about or they don't, but hopefully like them being funny about it will make it interesting and make them check out that song or whatever and um so that was what i asked camille and emily but then i also asked like uh what was the song the first song that you had like sexual that you relate to sexual feelings with your first crush like when you were like in fifth grade or sixth grade like what was the song that you would think of when you would think of the girl you liked at school. Steal My Sunshine by Len. There you go.

What was his name? Corey. Steal My Sunshine is a very erotic song. Why do you even care what his name is? This is weird. Yeah, ew. Because it draws out. Is that weird?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Corey. Okay. I've just told everybody who this guy was. What's his last name and his social? But, okay, so that sounds cool. And I'll ask you later about other things you do on the show, including, is there a prize bag on your show?

Yes, there is. What did you bring for the prize bag for us today? For this prize bag, I brought a music thing, sorry, instead of movies. This is Pro Set, which was a series of trading cards from the early 90s. Superstars music cards. So they're like trading cards of

like, this is 91, so I bet there's like a Paula Abdul in here, if you're lucky. Okay, these are like the boring version of hit clips, right? You remember hit clips, right? Yeah, people do. Hit clips for like those little tiny

music player that was like this big And you put in the little tiny thing And it plays 20 seconds of a song Wow The most useless Hang on, hang on I gotta listen to a hit clip But these are

You're wrong because these are cards And you can look at them So it's sort of a different thing It's a totally different thing Totally different Can you look at a hit clip you can't look at sound you dummy

I'm gonna find I'm gonna bring when I'm on your show I'm gonna bring some movie cards what else you got this is just super random

I couldn't believe I was in a gas station and they were selling I think this might be worth something now what were you doing in the gas station playing pinball

or checking out the ladies? Yeah, I was just smoking cigarettes and looking for chicks. Tropical Fruit Incense by Ed Hardy. And that company is out, oh biz, so this might be worth something. Okay, that's actually pretty legit. You just got this from

a Breaking Bad set sale? Because this would be hanging up in the car wash for sure. And it's all faded, so you know it's legit. And then it's tropical fruit incense, which sounds like probably the grossest thing you could ever burn in your house.

Let's open it. We could open it. No, that's okay. We're almost out of time. Chelsea, what was the last movie you saw? It was also Deadpool for me. And thumbs up from you? Thumbs up, but I'm super biased because my fiance wrote it.

What? He and his writing partner wrote it. He also was slightly involved in the marketing campaign. Boo! I said good things about the marketing. involved in the marketing campaign. Oh, boo! I said good things about the marketing. Boo!

I thought the marketing campaign was awesome. Also biased, but also was done by a lot of other people too. Sure, sure. Well, that's what's cool

about marriage is you have to love all of someone. You know what I mean? Yes, yes, I do. But almost everything that is great about Deadpool cannot be shown

on network television. So of course, the commercials are going to be very sanitized version of what's going on. It just looks like a guy making wisecracks in a cute suit. And it just doesn't give the exactly right impression. But nobody cared. We all went anyway. Thank you for everyone going. Yeah, thanks for going.

So that her fiance, because if that movie tanked, you would have probably called off the wedding. Fuck this. Nope. Makes perfect sense. What do you have for the prize bag?

Oh, I have Deadpool socks. I was hoping there would be Deadpool something. These are from when the guys, they shot this in Vancouver when they first got there to shoot. This was a part of the gift bag from Fox. So the other owners of these socks are the other writer, Paul Wernick, the director, Tim Miller, and Ryan Reynolds.

Wow. That is some very special edition socks. That is pretty amazing. And they're cool looking, too. Yeah. I'd totally wear these like if I thought there was going to be an earthquake

and I'd have to run out in my socks. It's encouraging for anyone who's in the business because I feel like if you work really hard and your movie gets made a big studio

will give you socks. I'd be like oh it's kind of warm in the winter I should put these socks on because that's earthquake weather. And a tie bow tape? Yeah.

I know you give away a lot of VHS tapes, so I went and looked at what I had. And in case you didn't see Deadpool, you should have a Taibo instructional video. I actually owned that, but I don't want to anymore. So you're welcome. That's cool. It's been used.

By me in the 90s. I was like a child. Alright. Let's move on to Brie. Hi. You know the two questions. 10 Cloverfield Lane. That's the last movie I saw.

That's the last movie I saw. Okay. Kind of a memory test. I loved it. I had a great time. Yeah, super fun. Okay. Damn it, John. Kind of a memory test. I loved it. I had a great time. Holy shit. Yeah, super fun. John Goodman is the best.

That guy's crazy. Yes. Yeah. So good. And yeah. Didn't you just say on the last podcast you think he might get nominated for an Oscar? I said that, you know,

he's certainly, based on what I've seen so far this year, a front runner. Yeah. But it's going to be a long race. Well, yeah. And he'll be in three more movies this year. And I just think he's just hitting his stride. Like, I just think that as soon as he's involved in something, it just ups the quality.

And when he shows up on screen, he just really takes over. And he's amazing. And he's barely even been nominated i think i'm sure he hasn't won anything um what'd you bring for the prize bag oh man i'm so excited um okay okay oh it's a it's in a bag it's in a bag if it's not a hit clip i so wish so wish uh okay so i kind of planned like a an afternoon out of this for somebody, which is so lame. Saying it out loud makes me feel terrible about myself.

I like it. This is a pizza beach blanket, and it's round. It's a round beach towel. I can't believe you're getting a shower curtain and a beach blanket. There's no way anyone who's walking down the street coming to this show like, shower curtain, beach blanket. One- no way anyone is walking down the street coming to this show

like, shower curtain, beach blanket. One stop shopping. Dreams come true. And everybody's like really into coloring books right now,

so I brought an adult coloring book. It's called, it's called Color My Boobs. Wow. Well, I hope you included a pink pencil

or a crayon with that. Look at that. It's not just boobs. It's just straight up nudes. That entire experience is hard on the wrist. Uh-huh. Sometimes I can't even finish. The drawing.

The drawing. And because sometimes guests bring personal items. They sure do. They sure do. I brought this little one-hitter bullet pipe. That you've used? I haven't used this, but it did bring... An ounce of weed. Whoa, she did!

Okay, it's not an ounce. Okay, it's not an ounce. No, it's not an ounce. I told you it was personal, which means I smoked a lot of it. Sure. So there's like a little nug in here. Let me see what's in there. I'll tell you if it's a little nug or not. We don't have to play, you just won.

Oh, that's not a bad nug. No. Oh, yeah. Super Diablo. That packed two smallish bowls, I think. Yeah. Yeah, not bad. It'll pack this baby.

Not a bad deal. And we got to make sure that they have their card. Okay. Yeah. You know what would go good with that afternoon is some tropical incense. It would really just finish. It would tie that afternoon together. This old bag,

you could just hit the fucking beach. You were good for a day out in the sun with all this stuff. Here, pass it over here. We'll compile. If a cop's like,

you gotta get off this beach, you're like, this Cindy Lauper rookie card says I don't have to get off this beach. I take it back. Those are so much better than hit clips. No, I'm actually mad now and I want to go find hit clips.

You are your hit. Hit cards back. You should put your impressions on hit clips. I should, I should. And sell them at, you don't do live shows, do you? No, should I? Well, never mind. This went nowhere. Maybe I should. And sell them at, you don't do live shows, do you? No. Should I? Well, never mind. This went nowhere.

Maybe I should. I'll do, yeah. A nano show? Nano show. Nano show. On a nano iShuffle or the nanos. Do that. Yes.

Sell those. Yeah. That would be good. All right, Ross. Ask. I don't know. Product tie-in. Apple.

What's up? I want you to answer. I want you to answer the question. What was the last movie you saw, but as Matthew McConaughey? That's a good one. All right. Cool, cool. Yeah, sure.

Last movie I saw was a fellow Oscar contender known as The Big Short, which I thought was a very funny title because it's big but short at the same time. A little play on words, you understand? I thought that was really cool. So, yeah. I love it, too. And who else in your repertoire have we not gotten to yet? Christian Bale's in there.

Oh, Christian Bale. What did Christian Bale bring for the prize bag? yet? Christian Bale's in there. Oh, Christian Bale. What did Christian Bale bring for the prize bag? So Christian Bale, you know, he's very angry. That's kind of Colin Farrell. Yeah, you know,

he's just a British Colin Quinn. So I brought a Chucky vinyl figure. What did you bring for the bag back there? I brought one of these. I don't know if you guys remember these, but these old- Yeah! Plane deweys that-

The styrofoam planes. Remember these things? Those are sick. They fly forever, like three seconds. Okay. Sorry, but that's actually the lame version of a sky dancer. She's just knocking down everyone's face. I had to do it for you, too. I feel bad. You know what I mean? No, it sky dancer. She's just knocking down everyone. I had to do it for you, too.

I feel bad. You know what I mean? No, it's good. It's good. What's a sky dancer? Oh, those are like flip-flops? Yes. Yeah, okay.

I do know what that is. I don't use that to fight battles in my mind. And what else is in the bag? I was in Tokyo a couple months ago, and, you know, the big rage, all the kids are doing it. They're putting these masks on their faces, and they have, you know. It's called Snapchat.

They have cute, funny ones for the kids. So this is a bunny. Wait, because the pollution's so bad, they have face masks? They're like, why not make them fun? Yeah, they don't want to be depressive. Cute and stylish. They're really stylish over there in Tokyo about everything.

Didn't you see the girl from Girls went over there? She fit right in because she wears nutty outfits. So I don't know if you want to wear that for your Bane impression. Oh, yeah, it really would help make the Bane voice more realistic. Because he did have kind of a soft bunny on his face. This is a really badass crucifix bracelet

that I got from someone this year. I'll tell you what'll happen if you take off my baby face. I meant bunny face. What is this thing? I thought you were doing Sean Connery. No, it always has been Sean Connery. That's? I thought you were doing Sean Connery.

No, it always has been Sean Connery. That's the idea. You just take Sean Connery and muffle it. Just muffle Sean Connery. That's good. That's all it is. You're the man now, dog. What is the bracelet?

What is that? It's a badass crucifix skull bracelet. There's skulls on there. It's very metal crucifix skull bracelet. It's got skulls on there. It's very metal. It's very metal. It's super like, I love Jesus, but only if I can rage will I do it. And then the last thing. This is real special.

Amazing abundance of things. This is real, real special. This is my girlfriend's sister. It's her from her third grade photo, I think, probably. It's from third grade.

Third grade? Fourth grade? Did you steal this from your girlfriend's house? I'm so creeped out by you. That's not

third grade. She don't need that. That's much older. Seventh grade? What do you think?

I don't know. Seventh grade. Seventh grade? Yeah. Look at this I don't know. That's seventh grade. Seventh grade? Yeah. Look at this guy. Ew! No, no, no. She don't look 12.

If I had to guess. Doug, you never edit these, right? No, no, no. I can't believe. Why did I fight that battle? That was the dumbest. Nah, nah, nah. She's in eighth grade.

Easy. Easy. Okay, so I have to ask before we get to this part, Julian, do people bring name tags to Julian Loves Music? Yeah, we had some really good ones

last time and uh i don't remember them right now because it's a while ago but they definitely did it it's the name tags for julian loves music obviously if any of you guys want to come to that one on april 10th uh you just take your favorite album cover or any album cover and put your name in it and your face and all that you do the same thing with a movie poster but album cover and it's a lot of fun i love it yeah and but people can get even more creative beyond that. They can wear costumes as their favorite musicians. That would be great.

You know? Although, yeah. I have actually, I have a Disney policy where you're not allowed to wear costumes because it ruins it for the other kids.

That's why Disney has that policy? Yeah, you're not allowed to wear costumes as a partner. I thought it was because they don't want anybody robbing anybody.

Well, I'm sure that's on the list of reasons. But they don't want you misrepresenting the character to kids. Right, well, Disney characters, but they don't want you wearing other characters either. You can't wear anything that's construed as a costume. Even kids have taken up this thing of doing hidden costumes. They're dressed up as somebody, but it's not obvious. So it's fun to. Yeah, which is...

So it's fun to look for. Yeah. Because teenage girls want me to stare at them. What are you, an eighth grade? You both know a lot about kids. I know. Yeah, yeah. If you and your fiance need help with any child rearing...

I mean, he's legitimately got a child, but I plan to never. So... Enjoy my life. But... This is a part of the show where you guys need to pick your name tags. You need to decide who you're going to play for this evening. We have a little bit of time left for some games. And...

I already picked mine immediately. The one you like, and go grab it from them and bring it back to your seat. And yeah, I hope you get how this part works, Julia. And we'll be right back after these messages. Today's episode is brought to you in part by Harry's. Guys, everybody knows good things come in sets of three. What does that have to do with anything?

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Go to harrys.com right now. That's H-A-R-R-Y-S.com and enter the code D-O-U-G at checkout. Back to the show. We're back. Who are you playing for, Julian? I'm playing for, I'm guessing her name is Brynn. Yes, she sure is. We talked to her earlier.

Yeah, and her poster is for the Brynnians, Minions thing, and I picked it because I have watched it 75 times with my daughter, and it's hilarious. This dude sitting right here can help you out. Put the microphone onto the speaker, and then let the people know what kind of noises it makes. Oh, that's a fart gun. I can make that noise.

How does it smell? It's pointed right at you. I would say Swedish meatballs. Linneanas. I call it the IKEA setting. It's lingonberry and Swedish meatballs. Linnianas. I call it the Ikea setting. It's lingonberry and Swedish meatballs. No, in the movie, Gru asks for a, I believe it's a dart gun, and his henchman builds him a fart gun because he didn't hear him over the phone right.

But it's very effective in terms of making a fart noise when you didn't have one before. I love it. Chelsea, who are you playing for? This was the first one I saw and it cracked me up. I'm playing for Name Tag. Yep. Simple, to the point. Roll over so I can see your face, please.

Oh, that was real creepy. I go for the creepy. I didn't even bother getting your face, Julian. I just took a shot of the name tag and moved along. Bree. Okay. I'm playing first. Photo time.

Oh, okay. All right. Do you make that fart noise as I do it? She's diving out of the picture. I got her in there. It's going to be a good action shot. Who are you playing for? Thank you so much.

I'm playing for Devin. Devin Unchained. I picked it because it sounds nothing like Django. Yeah, but he got to use the D from Django. Love it. And the D is from Django. Love it. And the D is silent Django, so his name is Evan. It's real good. Yeah, okay.

Yeah, is it Evan or Devin? It's Devin. It's Devin, okay. So you like totally don't understand. It's counterintuitive. What that movie's called. And we talked about this one earlier. It caught Ross's eye.

It was Kate Tango Foxtrot. Yeah, with the A-team font, no less. Yeah. That's a good one. You got it. So congratulations, everybody got selected. She's walking out. She's had it.

I brought a name tag every show for 10 years. Never chosen. Oh yeah, maybe that was a bathroom break. I'm sure the batteries will die soon. It'll be fine. Yeah, they do on those things. That's usually when I put them in the gift bag. When the batteries die out. It's getting new batteries

for fart guns. Seems like strange when the batteries die out, because getting new batteries for a fart gun seems like a strange... It seems like you're being really persistent about having a fart gun. I was going to say hobby, but that's not the right word. What? It's a strange errand.

Yes, a very strange errand. What did you get done today, honey? Oh, I got batteries for the fart gun. Yeah. And then I watched a soap opera and took a nap. Because that battery trip really took a lot out of me. The guy ahead of me in 7-Eleven used a credit card. It was exhausting.

It's time for our first game tonight, which is a fan favorite, and we're all going to have a great time with it because it's always great when he shows up. Let's do some lines with Mark. You guys want to do some fucking lines? Woo! Let's fucking do this, kids.

I can't even look at him. Mark, so I'm sorry to keep you waiting all this time. You've been here since 8 o'clock. It's all right. I got shit to do in this building. 48 minutes. You what? I got shit to do in this building.

That's okay. In the same building? In the UCB theater? Yep. We just bought this motherfucker. Turn it into a Wahlburgers. No! Yes.

No, you can't. I will fight you on that. Nope, something good is going to finally come out of this fucking place. Donnie's in the back right now checking out the janitor closet. Be honest, that's just where you put him when you're here. No, he's usually sitting in that car. He wouldn't waste all that gas money driving around. Oh, he just has to sit.

What are you, are you okay? Yeah, dude, I did like a 27K in my fucking hamstrings. Alright, so like I said, I'm sorry to keep you waiting, but I was intrigued by all of my guests, and we had a nice conversation. Great stuff for the prize bag, but

did you hear some of Ross's, you know, we do nano impressions? No, I was checking out the building. I got the Property Brothers here. We're going to fucking flip this place. So you don't have any, do you do an impression of anybody?

Fuck, I do tons of fucking impressions. Are you kidding me? Well, just all you got to do is pick one. Okay. Just do it for us. Sorry, so much wind up to your thing. Sorry. This is De Niro. Ready?

Oh, okay. Thanks. I'll be in your bad movie. I'll be in your bad movie. Okay, it sounds like something you might say, but the voice isn't quite there yet. I believe that he said that at some point, but I don't think the voice is quite there.

Everybody tells me it's spot on. All right, well. You want to do a fucking line? Yes, please. Okay, so he's going to say a line. I've got to explain the rules. He's going to say a line from a movie, not necessarily one of his own.

We did all those. So just yell it into your microphone when you think you know the rules. He's going to say a line from a movie, not necessarily one of his own. We did all those. So just yell it into your microphone when you think you know the answer. Use as many guesses as you want. These are movies I should have been on. Okay, it's movies Mark should have been on. And the first part is something he says every time. Look good.

Feel good. Look good. Feel good. It's cardio. When the outbreak happened, the first people to go, for obvious reasons, were the fatties. Zombieland. It is fucking Zombieland!

That's Zombieland! Oh no! Landed right in Walking Dead star Ross Marquand's wheelhouse. Wow. Way to go, dude. I hope to slip that by you. I was like,

Mark, do a line from Zombieland and see if the guy from the Walker TV show. Can I say something really embarrassing?

Sure. Texas Ranger? Yeah. Yeah, he's from Walker, Texas Ranger. I play Chuck Norris' son. Oh, wow. God, he knew everything. It's great. He's a great guy. Ranger. I play Chuck Norris' son. Oh, wow! God, you do everything.

It's great. He's a great guy. You should just be the only guest and just do a bunch of different characters. We'd never do that on this show. I'm in a lot of trouble because my fiance also wrote Zombieland. What?!

And I didn't know. Why would you be in trouble? What bad did we say about it? You didn't say anything bad about it. I did not know that was the movie it was from, so I did not answer the question. Yeah, well, just don't forget his name when you win an Oscar for Bleed.

And that'll make up for it. He's a good writer. At least put him on the crawl at the bottom. How many people are you marrying? Someone that has a project at every studio. One many people are you marrying? Someone that has a project in every studio. One man wrote two movies?

No, two. He has a writing partner. Oh, okay. Two movies that just randomly came up. I mean, Deadpool's going to come up

every episode for a while, but yeah, that other one, Zombieland, that was a great script. Yeah, there you go. He's a good writer. And he recognized it right away. He's a very good writer and I love him very much. That was a great script. Yeah, there you go. And he recognized it right away.

He's a very good writer, and I love it very much, but I don't watch all the stuff closely. Oh, fucking relax. He's not going to listen to this. Sorry, I'm going through a divorce. I mean, I wish you all the happiness or whatever. It's a tough business. And I think a lot of people say no to being on this show because their spouses' projects might come up.

But I'm not going to name names. But we are going to play ABCD's Nuts! That is a game. It's a spelling game where each person gets a letter. In turn, we're going to be spelling something special. And when I get to you, all you've got to do is name any movie

that begins with the letter that I give you. And you have a few seconds to think about it. If you match the movie that I wrote down on this piece of paper ahead of time, you win automatically the whole game. It just shuts it down. And it'll get us back on time, too. So I'm excited about that possibility. Ross, you're going to go first because you won that

first game and then we'll go to Brie, Chelsea, and Julian and we're spelling The Walking Dead. Just spelling The Walking Dead? Yeah, so T is the first letter in The Walking Dead so that's your letter that you can name any movie that begins

with the letter T and you will remain in the game. Total recall. It's that difficult. That's perfect. Did I win the game? Oh, no. That's not what I wrote down.

That's not what I wrote, but it was close. Just as an example, movies that begin with the, keep in mind, can only be used for the letter T. And I went with The Return of the Living Dead was my selection. So H is Bree's letter. Any movie that begins with the letter H. Hannibal? Oh, that's very good.

I went with Hell of the Living Dead. I think I get it. From 1980. E is your letter, Chelsea. Enchanted? Oh, that is a good, that's fun fantasy movie. I went with

Evil Dead 2. Julian, W. I got so distracted. Okay, sorry. W. Any movie that begins with W. Wuthering Heights is what you guessed. What? I guarantee movie that begins with W. Wuthering Heights. Oh. You guessed. What?

I guarantee you that's your movie. Well, why don't you just say it then? Just take this thing down. No, White Zombie. Ross gets A. Oh, no. Any movie that begins with A. I'm developing.

Is there A Night of the Living Dead? I don't like your attitude sorry a night to remember oh that's a good one classic I went with American Zombie L is your letter Brie Lazarus Project

that's a movie right it might be the Lazarus Project. That's a movie, right? It might be The Lazarus Project. Damn it. But I'll accept it. Sure. It's not the one I wrote down. Land of the Dead. K is your letter, Chelsea. King Kong.

Oh, that's good. That's good. Which year? Like I wrote it down in parentheses. I went with Kicking and Screaming. It's a movie. It's been made twice. Two movies have been made with that title,

and neither of them is about zombies, and that's ridiculous. I is the next letter for Julian. Independence Day. No, I am legend. And Ross. I think you're going to... Night of the Living Dead?

No, Night of the Comet. G for Bree. Grandma's Boy. No, George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead. Damn it! D for Chelsea. Dust... No, that's from Dust Till Dawn.

D. The zombie thing. Come on, everybody. Use your brain power. Givek Till Dawn. D. I can't think of a zombie thing. Come on, everybody. Use your brain power. Give it to her. D. Everybody else knows it. Anything that begins with D.

Just Desperado, but that's obviously not it. Yeah, okay. Okay. I went with Day of the Dead. E. E again? Julian E. How did I get that wrong in the Dead. E. E again? Julian E. How did I get that wrong in my head?

Okay. Any movie that begins with E. I know. I don't think there are any. Do you want to phone home? No. E.T. Full title.

I thought of E.T. the Extraterrestrial. I went with Escape from Alcatraz because I'm going to be at Cobbs in San Francisco on April 19th. A. Ross. American Psycho? No, Army of Darkness. And finally, for Bree, Bring It Home, D.

Drag Me to Hell? Oh, so close. Dawn of the Dead. Damn it! We got through them all. I didn't know if I'd get through them all, but that was super fun. Thanks, you guys. Ross is still getting to go first in the next game.

And our final game of the evening, for which we're... No, we're doing another fucking line. Oh no, we're going to do some more lines. That's the trouble with doing lines. Once you start doing lines with somebody, he just wants you to keep doing more lines. Yeah, dude. Let's fucking do this shit. Yeah, he's like

so pumped up all the time with his damn lines. I got time to kill Don. He's in an argument about napkins. Let's do this shit. You ready for this, Don? What's that? You ready for this shit? Yeah, I guess so. I wasn't ready for it, but here we go.

Welcome back to Mark Loves Lines. Let's do this shit. Look good, feel good. You look good. You feel good. Oh, good. You feel good. Oh, you're just going to leave without saying goodbye? Because it's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again.

Oh, you're just going to leave without saying goodbye? Because it's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. Best and furious. Oh, are you just going to leave without saying goodbye? Because it's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it

when I see you again. We've come a long way from where we began. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. Fast and Furious, but I don't know its title. Oh, you think I'm just going to let you leave without saying goodbye? Fast and Furious 7?

Furious 7. Furious 7? It is fucking Furious 7. Whoa! Chelsea with the assist. Where'd it go? I mean, most of it. Donnie! Donnie!

All right. You ready or what, dude? Yeah. All right, let's go. He was quoting that song. And it's funny, whenever I hear that song, because I've seen that movie a couple of times, I always start singing

the Tom Petty song about living in the valley, because it kind of smoothly goes right into it. Free Fallin'. Anyway, thanks, Mark. I hope that's the last time, because I falling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, thanks, Mark. I hope that's the last time because, you know,

I'm racing the clock at this point because we have to play Last Man Stanton. Woo! I mean, he's welcome to come on whenever he wants, but... Okay. Just a quick question for you guys. Everyone on the panel panel just answer honestly how many

movies starring Rachel Weisz or featuring Rachel Weisz Mrs. James Bond how many of her movies do you think you can name four or more of her movies raise your hand Ross says yes. Everyone else just looks at me like, probably not.

I love her work. She's terrific. But she's also, you know, she's been in a lot of movies, like more than you'd think. But, you know, not a lot of mainstream stuff. And she's just a tricky one to navigate. And I wouldn't put that on people but I got into

an argument today on Twitter with somebody that keeps insisting Rachel Weisz would be a great name for Last Man Standing and I don't know

how to explain it to them and I just said my guests won't be able to do it and they said well what if Ross Marquand is on? He will kick ass

at that. So now, just for fun, name four movies she was in. The Constant Gardener. Recently I saw her in a Colin Farrell movie with John C. Reilly called Elephant, I think. I hope it's called Elephant, I think. The sequel to the wildly popular Elephant. She was in one of the Pride and Prejudices.

Prejudi? Pride and Prejudi. I can help you. See what I'm saying? Even the guy who knows four has been vague about some things. Wasn't she in The Shape of Things? Yes, she was. With Paul Rudd?

Yep. Yeah, no, I mean, we could sit here and name all the things she was in. My point is just it's not easy. No, it's not. And it would be tough and it would be over quickly. So, there's your proof, guy on Twitter.

Or lady with a manly avatar. Whoever you may be. But also, thanks for your interest. Where is... I hope it wasn't Rachel Weisz. No, you know what's funny? That guy is here tonight, I think.

Are you here? Maybe. Maybe. Is it settled now, or are we going to still argue about this? I keep waiting for Sam to show up. He wants Sam Levine to play it, but he would just obliterate everybody else. But you're right, he'd be good at it. Alright.

Where's Justin Seranglao? Right here. Did I pronounce your last name right? No. No way. There's no way I did. How do you say it? Seranglao. Seranglao. Yeah. Okay. Justin, that's who I'm going to call you from now on.

He says he's got the perfect name for someone that we're all going to take turns naming movies that that person was in. If you can't think of one, you're out. We'll start with Ross. It'll go to me. I like to play along on this one. But whoever comes in second or beats me is

our winner. Then Julian, then Chelsea, then Bree. What's the name Justin that you... First of all, where'd you come in from, Justin? Eagle Rock. Eagle Rock. And thank you for that effort. He took the two.

I know, I never go there, so... The two? Okay. And what's your name that you're suggesting for tonight? Dwayne Johnson. Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

Can I make a suggestion? Please. Can it be Christina Ricci? Wait. Well, that seems a little unfair. I just feel like I would know. That seems like a little

tilted towards you. Yeah. No, it is. It was just a suggestion. Well, I'll tell you what. We'll speed through Dwayne the Rock Johnson because I can only think of about 17.

And then we'll, if time permitting, we'll play a Christina Ricci round just for fun. Yes! Just for you to show off your Christina Ricci skills. Yes! Doug, that's what I say to my daughter when I'm saying no. I'm like, yeah, we'll do the thing we're doing,

and then if we have time, we'll do your thing. And then we never do her thing. You'd be a great dad, is what I'm saying. Oh, that's great news. Start us off, Ross. Any Dwayne the Rock Johnson vehicle? Doom. Mm-hmm.

Good one. Now my turn. Then Julian. I'm going to say, I'm going to just take one that's, you know, just crazy. No, I'm not. San Andreas. No, I'm not. San Andreas.

I'm going to take the one that I constantly see promos for on HBO and hotel rooms. Julian. Baywatch. Oh, wow. You're going into the future. Watch yourself with that sign. Because it's probably not just called straight up Baywatch. It's super called just Baywatch. Okay.

I'm going to take your word for it. It's actually called Baywatch and underneath it says, that's it. I'm glad you included that. It feels like it's part of the title. Chelsea? The Mummy. What? Returns. Yes.

Go! Nice save. And let me remind you that each of you get one lifeline to a person in the audience who made the name tag that's sitting in front of you. Glad I remembered that. Okay. Pain and gain.

Pain and gain, of course. Yeah, Ross is mad that she took that one. Snatched that one right out of here. Right out from under my course. Yeah, Ross is mad that she took that one, snatched that one right out of here. Right out from under my feet. Yeah, yeah. The only word that I can think of right now is ballers. Just over and over again in my head. I can't think of anything else he's ever done.

I'm going to go with Fast 7. Yeah, but what's that called, though? Too Fast, Too Furious, Too 70? Chloe 7? It's called Chloe 70-ish. Who cares? Who cares what it's called? I'm right.

That's the title of the movie. You can call it whatever you want. I've never heard that argument before. You can call it that popcorn movie with those guys. Listen, Alex Trebek. Who cares what the words are that you're looking for? Furious. You know what I'm talking about.

Fastly furious? I think you should go to your lifeline to fix it for you. Wow. Am I already there? We're realisticlers on this show. Who wants to be my lifeline? Oh, you're my lifeline. Yeah, it's Kate. Where's Kate at? Do you know? I think it's Fast 7. Am I already there? We're realist sticklers on this show. Who wants to be my lifeline? Who is my lifeline?

Yeah, it's Kate. Where's Kate at? Do you know? I mean, I think it's Fast 7. What do you think that movie's called? Or you can give a different one. That sounds like a man, not Kate. She's called Fast? Furious 7?

Are we confident in that answer? Would we like that answer? Do you want to go with that? Furious 7? Furious 7. Okay, you're right yeah be great i don't even know for sure be great rock wasn't in it after all that he wasn't in it all right uh oh it's my turn don't take mine oh really let me lock in on your brain and steal it from you. Oh, I got a good one.

Get smart. Oh, good. That's not mine. I didn't think it would be anybody's. It's probably a waste to use so early. The Tooth Fairy. Oh, I was trying to think of what that was called. I was thinking the pacifier. I was like, was that called the dancing fruit?

It should have been. I knew it was something very emasculating for him and his character. Oh, man. What's that one called? Oh, I think I know. Oh, maybe not. Anyway, Chelsea? G.I. Joe Retaliation.

Whoa. Written by your fiancé? Yeah. For real? what no I give myself points for that one damn

I gotta get me one of those that's super fun that one of the movies fell into that did he write any other rock movies? yeah

did he? I don't think so yeah Brie wants to know do you have any more, Brie? Devin? The Scorpion King. Scorpion King? The Scorpion King,

of course. Oosh. All right. Now, Ross, you don't have a lifeline, so I hope you take this seriously. I'm taking it so seriously.

Hercules, right? Yeah. Yeah. Good job. Thank you. You did it. Thanks, guys. Everyone's like, acceptable. That'll work. right? yeah yeah good job thank you you did it thanks guys everyone's like

acceptable that'll work you know all I'm saying is be cool okay is the title of a

movie that The Rock is in Julian yes what's that new one with Kevin Hart it's like

on their name are you really doing this right now? Rock in a heart place. I need my lifeline. I need my lifeline. Okay. Okay.

Brinions. Where's Brinions? You got to rock. Central Intelligence? Central Intelligence? That's the one! That sounds good. Central Intelligence, please.

Yeah. All right. Rock in a heart place is way better. That's a one! That sounds good. Central Intelligence, please. Yeah. All right. Rocking a Heart Place is way better. That's a way better title. Let's see if Chelsea's fiance wrote another one. No. You going to your lifeline? Lifeline.

Where is name tag at? Baywatch? Oh. Baywatch was the first one out of the game. Did you just get here? We discussed it for a while. He nods off sometimes. Bad news, the show's almost over.

You got another one? I want to guess by the look on his face, no. I don't think so. I'm sorry, your wish is not going to happen tonight, Bree. Anything? Wayne's World 2. Oh, I just remembered. Wayne's World 2? Is just remembered Wayne's World 2

is that true I don't know I don't know if you don't have reception on your phone seems like he'd have a cameo no it actually seems a little too long ago for him to be somebody with a cameo in that I don't know alright well I'm on thin ice for sure

but how's Bree doing you don't have another one? Scorpion King, but also Scorpion Queen, right? Well, that'd be a great guess, that if they made that, he would be good to cameo in it for a moment just to give the queen some legitimacy. If we had played Christina Ricci,

I'd feel like... Julian is making an I Thought of Another One face, or he just shot a load in his seat. Fart guns make him hard, hot, ready to go. What happened? We'll get to you in a second. You thought of one? I've been doing tantric sex for the last 45 minutes.

I got one too. Doing it to yourself? All right, Ross is up next. I'm still remembering. Yeah, aren't you out? No, me? Okay, sorry. I got fucking... Sorry, I forgot is up next. I'm still remembering. Yeah, aren't you out? No, me? Okay, sorry. No, I got fucking...

Sorry, I forgot who was out. We're both out. This is a throwback to your boy backstage, the other guys. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. That is correct. Marky Mark.

Yeah, good call. Good one, Marky Mark. He's really branching out in all different kinds of roles. If they need somebody who's too big, he's the first one they call. But what about Super Charismatic? No, I like him. No, I know, me too.

But his characters always have to be too big. You can't ever be like, you know. He and DeVito are going for the same roles. The Big Short. That's what they can call it. The Big Short 2. Big Short. That's what they can call it. The Big Short 2. Big Short.

Bam. Done. Jeez. Whose turn is it? Mine? Yes. Don't get mine. I mean, I got a bunch left.

I don't know the subtitle. Really, you do? No, I won. All right. Journey to the Center of the Earth 2. No one knows if you're right. They know he's in it,

but is there a subtitle at the end? Like the journey continues or here's some more journey? Mysterious Island? Okay, fuck, I'm out. Wow. All right, Julian.

Pain and Gain. We already said that one. What? When? That was my first one. Earlier during the part where somebody was saying Pain and Gain. We already said that one. What? When? That was my first one. Earlier during the part where somebody was saying Pain and Gain.

Pain and a Gain, the sequel. Do you have one more, Ross? You're still in, right? No. No, Breeze, help. Ah, shit. I don't know if I do.

I don't know if I do. What was that one where he walks in and he's like, hey, what's going on? Oh, yeah know if I do. What was that one where he was like, he walks in and he's like, hey, what's going on? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that one where he's like the perfect size? Did he have a cameo in Matchstick Men? I want to say he did.

That's a very strange pull. I don't know why. A movie like Matchstick Men, I don't know why he would have a cameo by The Rock. The Wrestler? Unless he's playing himself. I don't think he was The Wrestler. Yeah, I don't know why it would have a cameo by The Rock. The Wrestler? Unless he's playing himself. I don't know. Well, the audience has some for us.

Who was the last one with the correct answer? Is that Ross? Ross. Ross is our winner tonight. With just enough time to spare for us to talk about what you guys have coming up. Bria's all excited that we do a quick round of Christina Ricci. You would be a good dad.

How many Christina Ricci's could you do right now, you think? Maybe ten. All right. Let's go. Ten Christina Ricci's. Adam's family. Adam's family values. Casper.

Pumpkin. Sure. Prozac Nation. Yeah, I'm glad you're Uh-huh. Pumpkin. Sure. ProzacNation. Yeah. I'm glad you're branching out into two-word titles. Yeah. New York, I Love You. Sure. Penelope. Are we jumping in here or what? No, she's

going to do all ten. How many do I have? Seven. Seven. Someone in the audience went ten. Monster. Monster. Yes in the audience went ten. Monster. Yes, of course, monster. That's pretty good. You guys can help. Mermaids.

Mermaids. So good. I'm having way too much fun over here. Lizzie Borden. This is so fun. Black Snake Moan says the creep sitting by himself. I think that's 10.

Just kidding. We all did it. I didn't even look over to see who said it. What? I think we all did it together. We did it together. That's all about teamwork

right there. Yeah, I've always found her to be a delight. Even, you know, she was on Ally McBeal for a while. Shit like that. Not to disparage that too much, but let's get to the next part of the thing, which is Julian.

Remind us again not only about Julian Loves Music, but what your live dates are people can see you do stand up comedy the next Julian Loves Music

which I would really appreciate if you guys came is April 10th here at 7.30pm it's a Sunday that weekend the 8th through the 10th I will be at

Hilarities in Cleveland and tomorrow through Saturday but I don't know when you're putting this up I'll be in Vancouver at I forget the name of the club, but it's in Vancouver. What's in Vancouver?

It's Comedy Mix? Yes! Cool. There's only two names I could have said and I took a shot. That's good. Chelsea, when... Oh, I'm at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick at the end of the month. I hope your guests don't do that's good. All right, Chelsea, when Bleed is... Oh, I'm at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick

at the end of the month. You know, I hope your guests don't do that to you. Which reminds me, I will be a guest sometime soon. We're just, you know, I'll just pop in sometime. I don't know that much about music, but it'll be fun. We'll just do a soundtracks one for you. Participate. We'll do soundtracks.

Probably don't know much about that either. Chelsea's movie, Bleed, is available now where you get movies, iTunes, On Demand. Yes, and in that one theater in Phoenix. In theater in Phoenix. Yes, in that theater in Phoenix. And Fresh Off the Boat is on ABC Tuesday nights at 8, which means I work for Disney. Oh, yeah. So be cool, you guys. Stop saying the C word so much. Children? ABC Tuesday nights at 8 which means I work for Disney oh yeah so be cool you guys

stop saying the C word so much children yes Brie Esrig what do you got to plug you can check out my new sketch comedy channel

it's called Nuclear Family and it's on the YouTube along with SourceFed which is awesome and yeah we just put out a new video called DIY Birth Control It's on the YouTube along with SourceFed, which is awesome. We just put out a new video called DIY Birth Control. It's a tutorial. You should check it out.

I love it. What, a tutorial? It's a beauty tutorial. Okay, cool. Yeah. Nice. Season finale of Walking Dead starring Ross Marquand is this Sunday on the American Movie Classics channel. It's one of the best American movie classics ever made.

Like, they're making movies on STV shows, and it's really, I love it. But isn't it funny to you, we're going long, so apologies to whatever's coming up next, but I just have to get this off my chest. Isn't it funny how The Walking Dead started off, it was really violent for TV, but it was always zombies being killed. And then an occasional person would get killed by a zombie, and it would be pretty graphic.

But then, now that it's kind of also about people fighting each other all the time, people are just murdering the shit out of people really violently, and they're getting away with it because they ease the world, you know, they ease the American TV viewers into a really violent show on Sunday nights

on their TV, with commercial, with ads from big companies. I had to fight for that, too. We get a certain number of human and human kills a year. Right, but the number, they've obviously, they up the number every year. They're obviously good negotiators. Trump must be negotiating for them because he's getting the numbers up pretty high.

It's pretty amazing lately. No more than 80. Yeah, but I love it. I watch it all the time. And like I said earlier, your impressions are also amazing. Thank you. Thank you very much for being here. Thank you to all of my guests, Julian McCollum, Chelsea Criss,

Pri Estrig, and Ross Marquand. I'll be at Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco, like I mentioned earlier, on April 19th. It's a countdown show at 9.30 to at midnight we go outside and smoke weed. And yeah. And as always ...

... ... ... ... ... Tom Cruise, Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz is a shithead? What is that supposed to mean? I mean, he's already so mysterious with just calling himself name tag.

And then he comes through with that whopper of a shithead. Thanks, name tag. He's over there. He's in another nap. Thanks, Name Tag. He's over there. He's in another nap. Having only one cashier working when there are 20 people in line is a shithead. Yes.

Finally, somebody said it. And Corey Lewandowski is a shithead. Now it's time we're done to watch another And Corey Lewandowski is a shithead.