Doug Loves Movies - Ross Marquand, Jesse Joyce and Alison Rosen guest

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

Doug welcomes Ross Marquand, Jesse Joyce and Alison Rosen to the show.You can find the entire archive of Doug Loves Movies on Stitcher Premium. For a free month of Stitcher Premium, go to stitcherpremium.com and use promo code "DOUG."See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Doug hates candy wrappers, green and maybe sticky seeds With 50 acid pop or kernels in his teeth There's still not one that he won't see Cause Doug loves movies Hey, hey, hey everybody! My name is Doug and I love movies! This is Doug Loves Movies! Homes Alone version coming to you once again from doomsday it's sunday may 3rd 2020 and this show is happening courtesy of zoom uh dug out to zany's Comedy Club in both the clubs in Chicago and Rosemont,

where I've been doing annual shows on May 4th and May 5th. But this year they've been pushed back to August 30th and 31st. We'll see if it's safe to congregate by then. I'm guessing not. I've got three, count them three, great guests who all took an hour out of their day of doing nothing. Actually, the busiest days of their lives from what I've been hearing. But they took an hour out of their busy days to be here with me, and I appreciate that. It's Allison Rosen and Jesse Joyce and

Ross Marquand. Hello. Hello. Hello. Perfect. Let's meet everybody individually and alphabetically, starting with Jesse Joyce is here. Oh, hey, what's up? Hey, Jesse. Working hard, cracking jokes with the Jimmy Kimmel crew on his show right now, eh? Yep, that's right. Yes, just firing jokes off into a Slack app on a daily basis. But it's, you know, it's good work if you can get it, right?

Oh, no, no, it's great. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm one of the few people that can still keep writing it these days, you know, like, and get paid for it. So, yeah, because, you know, so much else is shut down. But the nice thing about the late night shows is they can just, like, do it from a closet in their house, you know like and get paid for it so uh yeah because you know so much else is shut down but the nice thing about the late night shows is they can just like do it from a closet in their house you know so yeah but i think i i think i could speak for most late night writers when i say the probably the number one perk of being on a show like that is getting to watch the bands when they come through and play and uh so that element is

certainly gone for a while you know it's i i'm i'm an anomaly in that way in that i absolutely do not give a hot fuck about live music and i never have and and like people have various levels of outrage at me for that and i don't know where you guys fall on that this is a movie podcast so i thought this was safe territory but uh yeah i i've never I've been to two concerts in my life and I really couldn't possibly be bothered to watch people play music what's the big question yeah what are the big what are the two concerts yeah well okay one was ACDC and that was my own doing in high school and then I was kind of like turned off by the concept because it was a bunch of dudes my dad's age pissing in

the sink at an arena and I was like okay this is weird and then in college I was trying to date some girl I went on a date with a girl to a Smashing Pumpkins concert but I didn't really care about that one that was more just because it was a date and then I realized like you know what I'm an adult I don't need to pretend to like to watch people play music you know but how did you feel about ACD I mean aside from the sink pissing did you like ACDC yeah yeah I liked I liked them in high school I like the music but I haven't it's like watching to me like a concert is like watching someone cook, you know, like it's not the point. Like, like I like, I enjoy music.

I like to listen to music, but music is a thing you can listen to without observing it. Do you know what I'm saying? Like to me, the actual math of seeing someone play drums is utterly uninteresting to me. Like I enjoy the sound that drums make, but I don't care to sit there and watch them make it. Does that make sense to you? I don't. Yeah, I get it. It's like, you know,

it's similar to like, you know, museums. Like, I don't know, I don't know how long to, you know, you know, I don't know what amount of time you're supposed to spend with any particular piece of art. And so similarly, when you're at a concert, like, you know, I just don't know how okay it is to be like, oh, I wish this song would end and they get to the next one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have like every recorded option to like,

you could listen to it while you drive or do another thing to me. I don't know. It like, I feel like musicals and opera are different because there's a thing to see, you know what I'm saying? Like there's something else going on. There's like a story, but to just like, listen to somebody play their set list is like, I don't, I don't need to watch this. You know? That's what's, that's what's funny to me is the, you know, most people that hate musicals do love watching a band play. And I'm like, well, it's the same thing without a

story. Like you're getting less, you're getting less entertainment for your dollar. Yeah. I, I, I agree with that. Yeah, there's a guy dressed like the Lion King running around. That's far more interesting to me. Okay, thank you for being here. Also joining us, taking a break from

the fake apocalypse to be with us during the real apocalypse. It's Ross Marquand. Hello. Hey, dude. Thank you for having me. How you doing?

I'm so happy that you're here. Me too, man. It's been a weird few months. What the hell's going on? I don't know. What's going on you uh have a season of Walking Dead that's like I don't know how much you can talk about but it's like there's stuff that's been shot correct yeah I mean we've we've filmed all of uh season 10 um so that's all done we they just need some extra time to do the post on the last episode but um we were supposed to head back

to season 11 or to begin filming season 11 this last week but obviously that's not happening anytime soon so but who knows the governor of georgia's like hey it's totally fine you can come back to work so maybe we will be coming back to work soon i don't know everybody's gonna have to wear uh masks and then they're going to have to have zombie makeup on some and regular face makeup on others. That's a really good idea. Or you just have to write, they just have to write into the script that there's a biological threat as

well. And everyone just wears masks all the time. Yeah. I like that. And like, like when zombies are coming at you you don't kill them anymore you just slip a mask onto their face so they don't give you the disease right exactly i think you should come right for us man this is a good idea it's season 11 too so i mean like i mean, like, I feel like anything goes. I feel like we're bound to have a musical episode at some point this season. My fingers crossed.

That would be so great. Yeah. And also joining us today is Alison Rosen. Hello. When you said we were going to go alphabetically, I was, like, rubbing my hands together, like, it's my time. I thought you were going to start with you know first names and then i uh wow what what a cruel surprise it turned out to be i'm i'm last i also feel like i left

jesse hanging yes that makes sense i personally would like to see acdc but i understand what you're saying thank you thanks i appreciate this i've got a music question for you, Allison. Lay it on me. How often in your life have you had to have people quoted to you lines from that Elvis Costello song, Veronica? See what I did? Did you see what I did? That was what a classic misdirect. I that was what a classic misdirect I do I back in the days of for some reason it was more in the days of answering machines than voicemail I would get a lot of people singing that classic Veronica on my answering machine um I don't get it that much anymore though all right, my name is Joe. Both of my wives have had to deal with Jesse's girl.

Yeah. Is that what drove them away? Or one of them? I still have the best wife. I have the better one. So, but, but yeah, no, it might've had something to do with it. Yeah. What about your kids too? Do you have any girls? I do. I have, Oh, that's right. I have a daughter. Yeah. I mean, that wasn't, I didn't mean like, Oh have oh that's right i have a daughter yeah i mean not that

wasn't i didn't mean like oh that's right i have a daughter like i just remembered i have a daughter i just put it together because you said it that she is also technically jesse's girl now so yeah you'll have to deal with that yeah how crazy would it be if your wife's name was uh was uh stacy was Stacy. The one kid would be Jesse's girl and then Stacy would be her mom. Yeah. Well, no, wait, the girl, she would have to be named Stacy, the daughter.

She would be Jesse's girl and... Oh, because the mom is... Okay, I get it. Yeah. Yeah, so, right. So, there would be a lot of factors. My wife would have to be, which she, my wife is very attractive, but she would have to be so attractive that somebody would randomly sing that about my daughter's mom and simultaneously have me as the dad. So,

but the math works. You're right. I told you, I don't know anything about music. And also you mentioned, which is accurate, that this is a movie podcast. However, I need to know because I feel like a completist right now. Are there any Ross songs? Oh, gosh. I don't know if there are. I don't think there's any songs with Ross in the title.

Wow, that's making me feel horribly inadequate right now. Shit. How irrelevant. There's nothing even that Lisa Kudrow sang in the coffee shop in Friends about David Shriver's character. Smelly Ross? Smelly Ross? I never saw that show. I've

seen a couple episodes, but I never really watched it, so I'm not really sure about that. Now's your time to catch up. See, the shitty thing about pop culture russ is you don't have to have ever even heard jesse's girl to have dumb asses at weddings sing it to you all the time so so yeah so somebody would have let you know if that song existed i guess exactly right yeah yeah you're just gonna have to settle for uh to settle with Ross dressed for less. Yeah, and I do. I shop there all the time.

That's one of my favorite stores. Can we maybe write a Ross song today? Is that possible? No, we're not feeling that. Hard pass from Jesse. I don't think the union's a lettuce. Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense.

Okay, cool. Okay, because I just pulled out my cello. Should I put it back? No, no, no, no. Don't put it back. Please play. I love that there's a cello as the bass instrument for the song. As well. That's going to be a big song.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And how effortlessly you were able to lift such a heavy instrument so quickly. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And how effortlessly you were able to lift such a heavy instrument so quickly. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Ross, Ross, Ross. All right. Could you give us any new impressions, Ross? I know that you like to do extremely brief impressions. Yeah.

I don't remember if I did last time. I just, I cracked the code on Jeff Bridges recently in the last few, several months. And then I also cracked the code on John Hurt today because I knew you were going to ask. And I was watching V for Vendetta the other day and I was doing my most irate John Hurt. And it felt really good.

I was like, oh shit, I don't know. I never tried John Hurt until I watched V for Vendetta, which, by the way, watch that movie again if you haven't seen it in a while because it's very timely, if you know what I mean. But, yeah, John Hurt. That was great. That was very good. I forget if you did Jeff Bridges before,

but I can never get enough Jeff Bridges impression. Let's hear some Jeff Bridges. Okay, man. You know, but I can never get enough Jeff Bridges impression. Let's hear some Jeff Bridges. Okay, man, you know, but I do like the older Jeff, man. You know, the guy, you know, dude. You know, you're like the dude who likes to smoke a little weed after taking

a Viabra, you know what I mean? You know, not so much like Tron, Jeff Bridges, like more like, you know, nowadays Jeff Bridges, like more, more like, you know, nowadays Jeff Bridges is my favorite. Yeah. That was from True Grit, right?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. He was, that's, you know, it's funny, the True Grit and Lebowski, the dude were two of his more similar roles, as it turns out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, you just throw an eye patch on him and he's pretty much the same guy. Doug, did I ever tell you I wrote a musical version of Tron in college? Did I ever tell you about that?

I think you did. And I think I was delighted by that idea. I put it up, too. And I really want to rewrite it and pitch it to disney to see if they'll let me do it because i i feel like the world needs trauma musical right now more than anything yeah and as big corporations go disney has a great sense of humor about itself yes good luck thank you so here's the part where i say let the games Good luck. Thank you. Here's the part where I say, let the games begin. I'd like to start with a new game suggested by Greg Bernhard on social media, at Greg Bernhard.

I like this idea a lot. It's called Liar Liar. And I'm going to name a movie and three actors. And I'll go to you each individually. Back to the dreaded alphabetical order where you'll be third. I'll give you the name of the movie

and three actors. You just tell me which one is not in that movie. And if you get it wrong, then the next person has a chance to steal and so on. So the third person could get a gimme if the first two people screw it up well now it's really working out for me yeah it could yeah but

these these two they're not gonna screw up well Doug before I came on here I looked at my past episode on your wiki thing and i think i've lost every single one so so here we go yeah you never know anybody can win these things uh we'll start with you jesse the motion picture is called home alone who was not in home alone between these three people hope davis kieran culkin or donald trump uh hope hope who was the what was the last name davis hope davis hope davis is definitely not in that one oh no no wait wait no i'm sorry wait, wait, wait. No, I'm sorry. Donald Trump is in Home Alone 2. I hope I didn't. So, yeah, it's Donald Trump.

He's not in the original Home Alone. All right, you figured it out in time. That is correct. Donald Trump does not appear in the first Home Alone, but he is in Home Alone 2, Boston, New York. One of the dumber cameos in film history. Yes. It feels really like it was just set up by the city of New York,

and they didn't realize that the city of New York wasn't as into Trump as they thought. I feel like what it was is that he owned the hotel for that brief window of time, and that was the condition on which he let them film yeah it was like you have to show that i'm the owner of it you know yeah yeah makes perfect sense yeah all right so jesse you got one point we're going to start with ross on this next one ross Godfather Part 3 Who's not in it? Abe Vigoda

George Hamilton or Bridget Fonda Oh shit And don't do your work out loud because it helps the next person Okay good I thought you were going to tell me not to do my Marlon Brando impression.

You can if you want to. I don't think Abe Vigoda was in the third one. I think he was done by then. No, Abe Vigoda, I don't think. That's your final answer? I think so, because I think I've only seen Godfather Part 3 once or twice it was not my favorite but yeah I think I'm going to go with Ava Goda

Ava Goda is correct. Yes. Okay nice work Allison here you go the fellas each got theirs right so let's see what you can do with this one. I know I this

this is going to be hard to beat with their one point. I've got so much faith in you. Thank you. Here we go. The motion picture is called Cocoon. Okay. Aussie Davis, Steve Guttenberg, or Rance Howard?

Who is not in Cocoon? Aussie Davis, Steve Gutenberg, or Rance Howard? Oh, this is hard, and I'm going to keep my work internal. So I am going to say Rance Howard. That is incorrect. Oh, Rance. Jesse. I was going to say Rance Howard was a name you just made up. But no. Rance Howard is Ron Howard's dad and he's in a lot of he's in a lot of ron's movies

got it okay all right uh okay so i can steal it so uh sorry so who are the other two well that's part of the fun of the steal is i'm not going to remind oh shit okay then uh number then number two. It was Ossie Davis or Steve Guttenberg. Ossie Davis was not in it. That is correct. It's a bunch of old white people. There wasn't an old black guy in there.

That was my second guess. Yeah, that's the thing. It's all about narrowing it down. Is for something what kind of name is rants um let's see well it's like rants prebis is a rant that's what i was gonna say rants yeah he's right oh oh oh rants is like short for rancid, probably. He was born during the Great Depression. Yeah, but listen, I don't want to go off on a rance here. You get to go first, Ross, on this next one.

Who is not in Gremlins 2, the new batch? Brett Favre, Leonard Maltin, or Christopher Lee? Brett Favre. I mean, Brett Favre seems like the obvious choice, but I don't think Brett Favre was in that movie. He couldn't have been. That was 92. Brett Favre wasn like the obvious choice, but I don't think Brett Favre was in that movie. He couldn't have been. That was 92. Brett Favre wasn't really a thing.

I guess he was a thing back then. Shit. I don't think Brett Favre was in it. Is that your final answer? Yeah, I'm going to go with Brett Favre. That is correct. Oh, man. Yeah, it had a couple of famous football players in it,

but not him. And Leonard Maltin, it's one of Leonard Maltin's only, like, two movie appearances. He always says no, but he said yes to that one because, you know, he got to be attacked by gremlins. And, yeah, the late, great Christopher Lee was – He was a scientist. Yeah.

Okay, so now Ross and Jesse have two points. So Allison, you need to get on the board here. I know. It's a lot of pressure. This is a, I think this is a tough one too. Oh no. Because you thought the last one was an easy one.

This is the movie's called My Best Friend's Wed oh i hate that movie but maybe that'll help me yeah i think it might who's not in it dylan mcdermott dermot moroni thing is a classic confusing thing but i think dermot moroni is not in it that's incorrect what i know wait did i just say dermot moronironey because I meant Dylan McDermott what is this this is a Nikki Glaser situation I forgot to ask if it was your final answer I know but I think I had already said it was my final answer

just so everyone I know that I'm not getting this point I can feel it slipping away from me even though I don't think I ever had it but just so everyone is very clear in my head, I was picturing Dermot Mulroney and my mouth said the wrong one. Yeah. I too am picturing Dermot Mulroney right now.

Oh, well, I just want everyone to know that I knew I just messed up, which is almost worse. Yeah. Well, here's the best part is It's Jesse now. All he has to do Oh, fuck. Okay. It's figure out what was the truth and what wasn't in that exchange.

Who's not in my best friend's wedding? Well, now I'm like, I never really appreciated the confusion of between their names before until this, and now it's all a big soup in my head. So, I'm going to say Donald Trump again. It's not him.

No, I'm going to say, wait, shit, what did she say? Oh, okay, so it's Dylan McDermott who's not in it. He's the one that's not in it. That's correct. Okay. Enjoy my point. Thank you. Sorry. So there's Dylan McDermott, Dermot Mulroney, Rupert Everett.

Is that what the other guy's name was? The other guy in my best friend's wedding. Yeah. He's in there. Yeah. So many names. It sounds so similar. Yeah. Yeah. The British have a way of giving everybody the exact same sounding name they're a couple of them are british right or just any of them are well it's definitely british dylan mcdermott oh yeah he is but dylan mcdermott has uh has like gray shoe polish in his hair for a character he's playing now on that Ryan Murphy Netflix show Hollywood.

Is that so good? I like it, but to me it's weird that he's just playing the old guy too early in his career and it doesn't seem real. Like when 8th graders put on a musical and some of them have to play adults. Yeah, it just says his gray hair, I'm not buying it. It makes him look like Richard Gere, but, you know, Richard Gere's been gray for fucking ever, you know. Okay, so congratulations, Jesse. You won the first game today.

Thanks, guys. Yeah. I think this is the first game I've ever won on this podcast. It's very exciting. And you always have the ability to play the cello, so, you back on that yeah it's an impressive skill and you know the first game doesn't really mean a lot it's just a lead up to the to the big game okay uh it just means you gotta go first in our next game that we're going to play as soon as we come back from these very important messages we're back

now that was painless right those messages were quick and fun and important yeah we did it uh okay so jesse joyce you get to go first in this game that's going to determine our uh winner today uh it's a game called it's the new supersized extra special uh last man or woman stanton the idea is that each of you all three of my guests today will each pick an actor or actress that you think you know a lot of their films and then all four of us myself included will take turns naming movies that feature any one of the three actors we end up with, with each of you picking one. So the idea is you can cherry pick from somebody else's actor, you know, and leave yours alone to save for later in the game. And just like in regular Last Man's Ten,

the last person still naming names uh is the winner naming the title of a movie that one of the three actors was in yeah got it okay i got it jesse what's who's your actor that you really think is in your wheelhouse, you know, all their titles. Man, this is like, it's the first name that popped into my head is, is kind of a, he's sort of a bad man, but Mel Gibson, that's, that's who I think. I probably know his catalog better. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, you just, you're,

you're kind of known for kind of following the careers of Holocaust deniers. Yeah. It's a peculiar, just the name popped into my head. And I think I've got to keep an eye on him, make sure he's not up to anything, you know, just make sure he's making stupid movies. just if yeah if like that's the first name that popped into my head if in the course of you asking allison and ross if i think of a less problematic one i'll shut up but i think i'm going with him for now i mean he's only problematic for me in the sense that uh i i've lost track of some of these movies he makes that just go straight to video where he's mad about something that somebody did to his daughter right yes but other than that i do have a lot of mel gibson titles because he was in a lot of

you know good or at least uh notable films sure ross what do you think who's who's your go-to here i'm gonna go with a less problematic aussie and I'm going to go with Hugh Jackman. Okay. Incidentally, I want to make it clear, I only started watching Val Gibson movies after. Jesus. Allison, what have you got to throw into this

mix of Aussie actors? I am going to say um val kilmer oh thanks i like that but i feel like strategically if i had chosen someone less well known who's done fewer movies that would have been better but uh but i didn't yeah i mean that's the way to go like i always like to say that you know it'd be fun if somebody picked james dean you know because then there's only three movies right anyone could say but but then you're putting yourself in a corner because you're you're you also have to continue naming movies so or like what if I had said Yahoo Sirius because he's Aussie right

and I don't know who's already oh right but if I can name four Mel Gibson titles then Allison's out right is that my understanding the point scoring system here

no it's just who lasts the longest. But if Yahoo! Series has only been in two movies and had a guest appearance on some Australian soap opera, then by default, we win if we have more movies, right? No, because we can choose from any. Oh, you can do ours too. Right, oh, right, right. Okay, gotcha.

I want to know the second movie that he, I just, okay. I don't even know the first. It's young Einstein. And then, um, I know he did a second one,

right? I don't think so. Oh, I might think he did a drop dead Fred. No, but yes, did he? I think so. I think you're right.

Was that Yahoo! serious? I'm getting mixed up. I'm thinking of a different comedian. Yahoo! had his one shot. He had Young Einstein and then that was it. He may be in other movies that were made. No, you know what? I know for a fact he was in some movie

where he played the gangster Ned Kelly that I remember seeing. He's like Australia's Jesse James. Ned Kelly. He's like an Australian bank robber type. Yeah, I'm thinking of a totally different person. I'm so sorry. So I'm positive of that.

I can't remember what it's called, but he definitely played Ned Kelly because he was wearing like an iron bucket on his head or whatever. Do you know what i'm talking about um kind of i think in the story of ned kelly that was apparently part of it that it was like in the turn of the century he like like covered himself in like a suit of armor and like got into a big shootout so anyway it's not important look it up later it's on wikipedia i bet yeah and it sounds like something is probably going to happen again in the news any day now i think you're right uh okay so we got mill gibson hugh jackman val kilmer the films of of all those men and we'll start with Jesse then go to Ross and Allison

then me start us off with a film that any of those three guys is in if you can think of one that has more than one of them in it there's no bonus or anything for that but it sure would be fun okay I start?

So let's Braveheart. Okay. What do you got for your first one, Ross? I'm going to go with Logan. That's an excellent choice. Thank you.

Allison, I guess you're probably going to do a Val Kelmer since everyone's sticking close to home. Well, maybe I'll surprise you. Allison, I guess you're probably going to do a Val Kelmer since everyone's sticking close to home. Well, maybe I'll surprise you. What women want. Oh. Oh, damn. Oh, shit. Yeah, exactly.

I'll tell you what women want. They want a Maverick. Oh, there you go. Okay, now me again. So Lethal Weapon 3. Oh, I like the way you're playing that. Thanks. It's pretty clever.

I don't know what my strategy is, but... Ross? I'm going to go with X-men the first x-men yep okay this gets a complicated allison passion of the christ oh oh i feel like allison's trying to knock me out of the game. Wait, wait. Does it have to be they're in the movie or they could just have to be a... So we're saying movies that they directed. I mean, only one of them has directed

movies and that's Mel, of course. Does that count from now on? I always generally think of actors who direct their movies. They direct it's like they were a, you know, off-screen

character. Okay. You know, you could just see Mel Gibson playing the in Passion of the Christ, playing the guy that's off, you know, in the background laughing. Jesus. Okay, so that that leaves open other directorial bell gibson's but i'm gonna say for my turn i'm gonna say

um lethal weapon the original okay yeah all right got it we used to just call it back in the day we called it lethal weapon yeah yeah it's like how it was the great war before there was a world war ii yeah i get it um okay uh then i'm gonna go with uh mutiny on the bounty oh nice yeah it's just called the bounty but that's close enough oh really it is oh okay okay so that counts they they shoot it to bounty because they had a tie-in with a paper towel company um oh it's lost well now that I know about the director rule I'm gonna go with Apocalypto yeah I just wanted somebody to say out loud

Apocalypto yeah that's fun uh Allison Les Mis mmm okay he was so good in that awful familiar with that one Les Mis. Ooh. Mm. Mm. OK. He was so in that.

Awful familiar with that one. Are you one of those people that can't pronounce the bleh at the end? Yeah, I feel like I overpronounce it. I do the same with the word macabre. I think people started, I really think that, like, you know, because theater goers for years before the movie came out, we're always calling it Les Mis. And I swear to God, it was just because people just could not pronounce the end of that word.

Right. And so it was just easier to shorten it. Les Miserables. Les Miserables. Yeah. Okay. Les Miserables. I'm going to go with Lethal Weapon 2.

Hmm. Okay, Les Miserables. I'm going to go with Lethal Weapon 2. I will see that and raise you Lethal Weapon 4. Very good. Ross? I'm going to go with X-Men 3, The Last Stand. I mean, you're going to have all those to yourself as far as I can see because I don't remember what they're all called and what number they are and all that stuff nor do I

okay Allison I'm gonna go with Real Genius I forgot Joel Kilmer was still in this game. Oh, yeah. This is his first appearance. Yeah, he's looming large

over this whole thing. I'll throw down some Val Kilmers. I'm not afraid. I'm going to go with Top Secret. Okay, I'll go Tombstone. Oh, yeah. I'm your huckleberry. He's so good in that.

That's probably my favorite movie, Tombstone. That movie's probably the greatest mustache contest ever filmed. It is absolutely right. You know what's interesting about it, real quick, is I went to Tombstone, and if you go to the museum and stuff that they have, like the History Museum or whatever, they have newspaper clippings from the day, from the

epitaph, which is the newspaper in Tombstone. Like a lot of the lines in the movie are literally quotes. That movie is shockingly historically accurate. Like so much of that of the stuff that is said, the dialogue, is like real stuff that they actually said. So it's

kind of all the more impressive when you compare it to Kevin Costner's like nine hour version. That's just like a big swing and a mess. Yeah. But interestingly, I thought Val Kilmer and Dennis Quaid both stole both movies in the same part. Well,

Doc Holliday is like just the coolest. It's such a cool character. And you can't, I feel like it'd be hard to fuck it up in a way. Okay. Who just got a lot of time to think? Ross. Gallipoli.

What's that? Gallipoli. Oh, good one. There you go. Okay. Love that movie. I thought you went to the other side of the room or something i did i heard a big noise outside and i wanted to investigate sorry i thought you were pointing to gallipoli on a map okay uh allison uh kill me again what's that that is a val kilmer movie that also starred joanne wally kilmer oh i had a crush on val kilmer a long time ago which is why these movies are from a long time

ago do you know where the two of them met i'll tell you a movie called willow oh yeah Oh, yeah. Look at that. That's my answer. Jesse? Okay. Nobody said Swordfish yet, so that's a Hugh Jackman movie. It's true. Ross? I'm going to go for another Val Kilmer movie that, long time ago, but Salt and Sea. Do you guys remember that? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I like that movie. Me too. Allison? Kate and Leopold. Mm-hmm. That was like his first big movie. I can't remember if... I don't think I liked that movie that had time

travel aspect right yeah he was charming as hell in that though he was really charming oh you know what i'm thinking of that i did not like and that did not have him there was a movie called i think it was called alex and emma didn't remember that oh yeah yeah that was terrible yeah that was some bullshit uh okay so uh you go kate leopold uh oh so you you jumped out on your own val kilmer i didn't um i'm gonna this is the val kilmer i like to bring up whenever his name is mentioned, and that's MacGruber. I didn't even know he was in that. What? I haven't seen it.

I need to see it. Oh, my God. His last name in it is Cunt. He's like General or Commander Cunt. See, you love it already. I do. It's very clever. i go with jesse the saint the saint yes yes simon tipler yeah back to you really got to show off all of his little care his character acting chops, you know? Fake mustaches and shit. Uh-huh. Rubber noses. Yeah. I think my favorite

Velkommen performance, aside from Real Genius, was Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a good one. I love that performance. Very good choice. Very good. Allison. I enjoyed him in The Doors.

Oh, yeah. Geez. He did a good job in that. I enjoyed him in... This is a fun game. Oh. At

First Sight. At First Sight. sight yeah he's blind and mira sorvino is the woman who falls in love with him anyway that's right how did i miss that that's like the point of the movie is that like how could somebody love a blind person it It's hard because blind people are crabby because they can't see. They are played cranky a lot. You're right. Al Pacino is very cranky in Central.

Yeah. I'm in the dark here. There it is. Who moved the furniture? Okay. Is it me again? Yeah, it is me. Okay.

Wait, it is? Oh, yeah, because you just did the blind guy thing, which is what got us on this. Okay, The Professor and the Madman. What? Very recent. The Professor and the Madman. What? Very recent. The Professor and the Madman? Yeah, it's Mel Gibson's most recent project that he directed.

It's about the guy who wrote the Oxford English Dictionary. Oh. Yeah, so who wouldn't love, you know, it's got everything. It's got anti-Semitism and a guy who's toiling over writing a dictionary. So it's got something for everybody. But it sounds like it's two characters, the professor and the man. Yeah, it's Mel Gibson and Sean Penn. And Sean Penn, it's like a true story.

And Sean Penn is supposedly a convicted murderer who happens to be like a savant genius who just happens to like know every word in the world kind of like you know I think he's almost autistic or something because he can he knows all the words and and Mel Gibson plays some kind of professor who sets out to create a dictionary and enlists his help from jail and they form a friendship so of course they do yeah so it's so it's a buddy cop film with cravats set in a in an insane asylum in the 1800s oh I love a good cravat yeah I can't I can't believe that whole that whole thing exists and if it it doesn't, you just did the greatest thing that's ever happened on this show. I really wish I could have just made that up on the spot.

Guys, after this whole pandemic is over, can we all agree to wear cravats like every day? Yeah. Yeah. We'll have a screening of my place while I watch the professor. Beautiful. I've never really worn a cravat except for the time that I played Dracula in college. And I always want to go back to that era.

Well, that's also, you know, it'll, it'll suffice as a spare mask. If you forget. It's true. Yeah.

Yeah. Just pull it up over your face. Yeah. It's just, it's just, it's essentially a Dickie for fancy people, right? It's a neckie. Okay, so that was really fascinating.

Ross, do you have any movies you'd like to make up now? I think no one said Batman Forever, right? Oh. No. Cool. Batman Forever. up now i think no one said batman forever right? Um, why would they? Yeah. No, you're right. Yeah, okay. Well, thank you.

I had to go through the list, you know. Mel Gibson, no. Hugh Jackman, no. Right. Oh, yeah. Val Kilmer. Okay. Ice Man.

I wonder if he's going to be in the one did they do they show him in the trailer i did not no i didn't see him yeah i don't think he is he's certainly probably not in good enough shape or whatever he's all about silver and turquoise now according to a picture i saw who is val kilmer is currently in the desert wearing a lot of silver and turquoise now, according to a picture I saw. Who is? Val Kilmer is currently in the desert wearing a lot of silver and turquoise. Yeah, before that he was in Santa Fe. Yeah.

He was touring for a while as Mark Twain. Yes. Where he would show a movie of himself doing a one-man play as Mark Twain and then he'd come out and do a Q&A with the crowd and of course everybody

just asked about all of his awesome movie roles. Mark Twain. Did that really happen? Had he tried to stay in character and answer? Oh no, he didn't do it in character he just he was just val kilmer but oh instead of you know instead of acting as mark twain live he just showed

the film and then came out and took questions oh boy okay huh that's odd huh exactly it's like an evening with val kilmer and his opener is Mark Twain talking for 90 minutes. I'm in. He can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. I definitely was curious to see it. I mean, especially the Q&A part because I think he does have a good sense of humor. So it's probably pretty entertaining to listen to Mazda the same questions he's gotten over and over again for a million years.

Right. I think he should have had to have stayed in character as Mark Twain and then like try to befuddledly explain what a fighter jet is when somebody asked him about a shotgun. Because I bet you that does happen at Mount Kilimanjaro Q&As if somebody raises their hand and says, what is a jet engine?

Explain how the planes work. Alright so Allison said Top Gun okay so I'm going to say have we really done all the Val Kilmers? There's got to be some Val Kilmers left out there, out there alone and frightened and scared. Save them.

Save them? Okay. Well, I'm just going to go crazy obvious one for Hugh Jackman and say Australia. Oh, no, Doug, I meant save them. I didn't mean save them for me. You said they're alone and out there and scared, and I meant save them. Like, they need rescuing.

Nope. That's not how we do it in this country. We just leave them there. Okay. Yeah. You know what? They should have worked harder. Yeah.

Jesse? Well, then, going along with that theme, The Greatest Showman. Oh, yeah. I totally cut out. What was your answer, Allison? She said Top Gun.

Oh. And then we talked about Top Gun for a while. Gotcha. And then I said Australia. Okay. Is it my turn now? Yeah. Well, and then I did Greatest Showman, and then now it's you.

Oh, great. Okay, great. I was going to say Prisoners with Jake Gyllenhaal, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Love that movie. Mm-hmm. Allison?

I don't think we've done Wolverine well I think we have not oh we haven't we haven't just said that one that was just called Wolverine we haven't said that I think it's like Wolverine X-Men Origins

but I'll give it to you thank you just because you were smart enough to remember it. Oh, I'm excited to say I haven't watched it yet, but he's in a new movie that's on HBO called Bad Education. That's right. I heard that was good. I want to see it. yeah okay man without a face oh very good no I forgot about all that old Gibson shit yeah a

long time yeah Ross I just that just made me think of it. That's been around for a long time. Yeah. Ross? I just, that just made me think of Forever Young. Do you remember that? That's right. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. That was, I. Forever Young was Jamie Lee Curtis.

Oh, was it? Yeah. Allison? Allison? uh allison you know when you get to the bottom of tissue box or like adding machine tape and it's it there's a color to indicate that it's time to replace it like my answers now have colors to them meaning i'm getting to the bottom of my list i'm just letting everyone know um heat heat oh Kilmer's in heat that's right oh my god yes yeah very good yeah that's been sitting there the whole time

excellent excellent work I even brought up the Ned Kelly suit of armor shootout and we said that maybe someday that would happen again and then didn't connect the anyway go on check

this out the island of dr moreau oh yeah that's a good one yeah that's fun jesse okay my turn again um i'm gonna go Bird and a Wire. Oh, yeah. Mel and Goldie. They don't make them like that anymore. Has anyone said The Prestige? No. Cool. That was a good movie. I love that movie.

Allison? The Patriot good one not good movie good one thank you terrible movie horrific and I don't think I've ever been as excited to see a movie and then I was super let down

I guess so yeah that sounds sad what's the dude the guy who played the he was like the taxi driver in the uh in the old mtv commercials donald something oh donald yeah yeah yeah yeah he has this line like he just he plays like a like a racist to the whole movie and then at the end in the last battle he turns to this uh black volunteer soldier and he just goes, I'm honored to serve next to you. Honored. He says it twice. He does that

awful thing where he just repeats his own line. It's just so bad. And I wanted it to be so good. Anyway, sorry. Go on. Oh, no. It's fine. It just gives the other players a chance to think. Ross?

I'm nowhere close to the end of Mel Gibson movies, by the way. Oh, yeah. He's got a few. Was it Allison's turn or my turn? It's your turn, Ross. It's on you, Ross. Okay, okay, okay. I'm thinking of this Aronofsky film.

Shit. Oh, yeah. Rachel Weisz. Oh, my God. The Fountain. The Fountain. okay okay okay I'm thinking of this Aronofsky film shit oh yeah Rachel Weisz oh my god The Fountain The Fountain yeah right

yep yeah I couldn't remember it's called The Fountain right it's not The Fountain of Youth yeah The Fountain ew

okay I'm running low on my Hugh Jackman shit you know you could... I think there's still a lot of Gibsons. Del Kilmer is running a little dry, but what do you have, Allison?

I... I'm sifting through. I'm panning for a movie in my brain. I think I'm out. I don't think I have any more. Oh. Sorry, guys. It was a great run. Thank you. I feel like I did

better than I normally do. I think you did great. Thank you. All right. You can still play the cello. Don't forget that you've always got the cello. That's my that. You've always got the cello. That's my insurance policy, you guys.

All right. I'm going to go with, for Mel Gibson, I'm going to say The Singing Detective. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he played like an old guy in old age makeup in that. That's right. Okay, I will do Drag the Cost Concrete. He played like an old guy in old age makeup in that. That's right. Okay. I will do Drag the Cost Concrete. Oh.

When you said that, what you just said, Doug, I can't remember what you said, but I think about the Million Dollar Hotel. Wasn't that where you had like that? The Singing Detective? Yes. It wasn't Million Dollar Hotel where he had like a neck yes it wasn't a million dollar hotel where he had like a neck brace and it was mila jovovich i think is that am i right who was mel gibson the million dollar hotel oh yeah yeah that sounds right is that right yeah you might want to check

me on that because i don't know if i'm right about that. No, I buy it. Is it right, though? Yeah. I totally agree with that answer. Okay. That's all we've got. The corrections department is out for the summer. Okay. I'm going to go with another Mel Gibson, of course.

Got a few bouncing around. I can't settle on one. Shit. Come on, Mel. What was that one where he was like, hey? He was so good in that. Are you thinking of Fonzie?

Gibson just came in and went, hey. I don't want to take up too much of anybody's time. But it's just, I'm just slipping in and out of, oh. Oh, Oh shit. God damn it. Now I can't remember which one it was. He's in a franchise, a franchise series of movies. I don't know which one he was in. So just in the interest of time, I'm going to, I'm going to call it, and I'm going to go to you, Jesse.

Okay. What do you mean you're going to call it? I'm out. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Okay, so the gringo. Shit, I was going to say that. Oh, sorry. That's okay.

Real steel. What? Real Steel. What? Real Steel. Oh, yeah. Back to, oh, yeah. Rock and roll robots. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good one. Oh, it's just me and Ross. Yeah. Okay, so Edge of Darkness. That's a more recent one, too, right? No, that's like, that was pre mel gibson being a bad person but when he was like sort of the 90s version of liam neeson it was like somebody stole his daughter thing yeah so yeah i'm gonna go with uh one of my favorite movies and one of my first crushes

uh mad max beyond thunderdome when I fell in love with Christina Turner. Oh, yeah. God damn it. I was going to go back and do some of those Mel movies. I totally forgot to. Okay. I'm doing the original Mad Max. Mad Max-a-roo.

Back to you, Ross, in your face. Road Warrior. The Road Warrior. Good one. Okay. Hacksaw Ridge. Oh, Ross. In your face. Road Warrior. The Road Warrior. Good one. Okay. Hacksaw Ridge. Oh, nice. Oh, shit.

Behind the camera. We Were Soldiers. Mm. Oh. I hadn't thought of that one. Good one. Yeah. Okay.

Oh, The Beaver. Oh, yeah. The Beaver. Oh, yeah. The Beaver. I'm a beaver on my hand. It's just basically, he's just doing Michael Caine voice. I didn't see it. It seemed embarrassing.

It's really weird. Because it was his first thing back, right? Yeah, it's really weird. It's like, not a terrible movie, but it is strange that he keeps talking to a stupid beaver puppet. And it sounds like Michael Caine when it talks. You got anything else, Ross? Boss level?

Because that hasn't come out yet, but I know a buddy of mine worked on that, so that's the only reason why else, Ross boss level. Cause I haven't come out yet, but I know buddy of mine worked on that. So that's the only reason why I know about possible. Wait, it hasn't come out yet. Mel Gibson movie. Or maybe it's come up this year. I,

or maybe it has to be a movie that's come out. Okay. Uh, then, uh, X-Men. Two electric. Yeah. You got more of those. How many more of those do you have? So many more of those. X-Men 2 electric movie.

Yeah, you got more of those? How many more of those do you have? So many more of those. I think I'm fucked because I'm starting to get low and I didn't realize he still had more X-Men movies to go. Alright, so I'm going with The Candidate. That's a new

Hugh Jackman movie. Do you know about that one? He plays Gary Hart. Oh. Yeah. That's not what that movie's called, though. Oh, it's not? Nuh-uh. It's called the... It's called... I know what it's called.

It's not called that. Oh, it's The Front Runner. Oh, damn it. That is what it's called. You're right. The front runner. All right. We'll call that a steal. Because, yeah, the candidate was that old Robert Redford movie. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're right. You're right. But since Ross slipped in with the front runner, I'm going to call him the winner today. Congratulations, Ross. You know what? That timed out great because I literally cannot think. I'm out.

I couldn't think of a single. So way to go, Ross. Yeah, that ended perfectly. That was beautiful. I don't think I've ever won this show, and I'm so happy right now. You finally did it under strange circumstances. Allison, are you still there? I'm still here. Yes, I am. Congratulations, Ross. Thank you.

Thank you for waiting around, Allison. Of course. do you have anything that you would like to plug i would just like everyone to check out my podcast allison rosen is your new best friend uh and childish and allison rosen is your best friend two episodes a week comes out monday and thursday and childish comes out wednesday and childish that's my podcast with greg fitsimmons. We are now putting the video from our podcast up on YouTube. So go to youtube.com slash Alison Rosen for that. And the video from Alison Rosen's New Best Friend, I'm putting that up on my Patreon. And also I'm on Cameo.

Oh, nice. How much is, how much are your Cameos? Mine are 35, which you might think that sounds a little high for you. But it's working out for me. Do you, yeah. Cause it, it, it, you know, the people that are doing it are more committed and less, you know, it's less of a throwaway to those people. It's more meaningful. Do you charge more to play the cello because you should yeah i've got a

separate account it's a separate secret account just for my but there it's naked it's naked cello vids that include my feet it's a little cottage industry it's helping me yeah lean time i i've subscribed to you yo-yo ma's version of that so yeah yeah it's very similar he's my inspiration yeah guys are uh by the, this would be a much quicker game if we were naming cellists. Because that's I'm out now. I don't know that I have any, and you'd think I would have a ton

given my prodigious playing. Guys who are into cello players really like elbows, knees, and feet. Because those are the only things you can see. Okay, so Ross Marquand, season 11 of Walking Dead will happen someday. Yeah, I guess.

We'll see. Hopefully this pandemic ends soon so we can actually film the fake apocalypse as opposed to what we're – do you hear about the murder hornets? Yeah. There's murder hornets now. There's UFOs. No one – it's – I don't even think we should be filming our show at this point because it's too on the nose.

It's a documentary. I think – my theory is if this pandemic wasn't happening we wouldn't know we wouldn't have heard anything about uh murder hornets or ufos uh i think that people are just looking for anything else to talk about right now right yeah yeah hey we're over here hey we're the we're we have we have some UFO pictures that we meant to show for years, but now nobody's paying any attention to us. Yeah. Jesse Joyce.

Yeah. Jimmy Kimmel live from his home. Yep, watch that every night because I'm working on that. And then I'm on Twitter Jesse Jesse Joyce and Instagram Jesse Joyce one because somebody else got there first well thank you guys all so much Allison and Jesse and Ross and um oh what was my plug I had a good plug I was going to do. Oh, look for me constantly popping up on Periscope and Instagram live.

And could the three of you, Allison and Ross and Jesse, just take, snap a shot of yourself or your environment just something that represents where you were at today during the show and text it to me and then I

put a little collage together for promo purposes sure and yeah and thanks everybody for listening

and as always Ryan get the song ready because it's a new ending to the show I came up with as always we're all gonna get laid talkie. Eyes of gold, his viewing prowess makes him cocky. There's no room in his heart for you, cause Doug

loves movies!